


I Give Up

by soobadnoonecanstopher



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, F/M, Idol Byun Baekhyun, POV Female Character, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:55:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 197,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28370502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soobadnoonecanstopher/pseuds/soobadnoonecanstopher
Summary: Baekhyun comes into your parents dry cleaning shop. You were just trying to live. But Baekhyun is Baekhyun.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Original Female Character(s), Byun Baekhyun/Reader, Byun Baekhyun/You
Kudos: 18





	1. Chapter 1

_“Adenohypophysis”_

_“Adenohypophysis”_

_“Neurohypophysis”_

_“Hypophysis”_

You repeated the words over and over, memorizing the sound of them on your mouth. You had a big test coming up for your Neurophysiology class and you were having some trouble keeping the parts of the pituitary straight.

“Adenohypophysis! Neurohypophysis! Hypophysis!!” You said with confidence, a little too loudly and you heard a sound. Someone behind you cleared their throat. You jumped and turned around quickly and saw a man standing at your counter wearing a face mask.

“Oh! You scared me!” You held a hand to your chest and exhaled.

He was holding a plastic bag. His eyes looked familiar and you guessed due to the location of your parent’s dry cleaners and the fact that he covered his face he may be a celebrity. That and he was dressed a little too nicely for a regular customer. You bowed your head and welcomed him and he looked at you for a moment without moving.

“Can I help you?” You asked politely and he walked closer to the counter, his eyes had a smile now and they looked at you with an amused glint in them.

“Sorry for scaring you, the door chimed right as you were shouting your…spell.” His voice was familiar too. You laughed at his joke and he looked at you with the same amused eyes.

“Oh, here.” He put the bag he was carrying on the counter and pulled out a white shirt. You see lots of clothing come through the shop. It was located in an upscale neighborhood and some of the items brought in cost thousands of dollars. This shirt was expensive. And it had a big ugly stain on it.

“Do you think this will come out?” He asked while rubbing his hand over the back of his neck. He was fidgety. You could see him lightly rocking back and forth on his feet.

You held the shirt up to see the stain clearly, trying to determine what it was. As you squinted at the garment. You furrowed your eyebrows.

“What is that? Is that baby poop?” You suddenly asked. And you heard him laugh.

“It’s curry.” He said with an adorable eye smile. You really wished he would take off the mask. He seemed so familiar.

“Ohhh yeah, curry isn’t a problem. It’ll be ready in 2 hours.” You filled out a tag for the shirt and paused at the name section.

“Ummm, you can use an alias if you feel more comfortable” you began and he looked down at your hand holding the pen.

His hand shot up to his facemask and he removed one side.

“Byun Baekhyun.” He whispered with a wink and adorable smile and he quickly covered his face back up.

It took every single ounce of self control you had in you to keep your face calm. The only reaction you allowed yourself was a small lift of your eyebrows and a polite smile.

“Byun…” You began to write slowly on the form.   
“Baek..” You continued, drawing out the syllable slowly. You glanced up and he was watching you with a single eyebrow raised now. Waiting.

“Baek…what was it?” You asked. Having fun now. He looked at you with wide eyes. Then looked down and exhaled. Blinking a few times he shuffled on his feet again.

“Hyun” he finally said again.

“Ohh, right. Baek [space]Hyun. ” you wrote the names separately on the form. It was incorrect with the space in between and he was looking at it with furrowed brows. It seemed to bother him. He looked back up at you and then he looked down again at what you wrote. He sighed and took the pen from your hands and crossed it out. Rewriting his name clearly and correctly above it.

“And now I have your autograph!” You exclaimed with a smile and he looked up at you with big surprised eyes. Then you heard him laughing behind his mask as he shook his head.

“Hey! You.” He started and had to take a deep breath. He tossed the pen on the counter in a huff.

“That’s not even how I do my autograph!” He complained with an adorable whine and you laughed.

You then saw him glance down at your name tag then look back up at you.

You saw him bite down on his lip and then let it go. He clicked his tongue.

“I’ll see you in two hours.” He said and he turned and left the store. Shaking his head as he walked out the door.

You turned back to your notes and resumed chanting your way through the parts of the human brain. About an hour later you heard the door chime and you turned around to greet your customer. You were surprised to recognize the same coat and facemask as before.

“You’re early Mr. Byun.” You said in a sing song voice, your mood was light since you finished the adrenal system and felt confident in your knowledge of the parts and their functions.

He walked up to the counter this time removing his mask as he approached you. You noticed the small smile on his face and his the playful look in his eyes. He had something in his hands.

“I know my shirt isn’t ready yet but I found another one that has a stain.” He held the shirt up to you and you took it carefully from him. You felt his fingers graze against yours as you grabbed the shirt and your eyes quickly looked at his before looking down. He cleared his throat and shuffled on his heels.

He watched you as you held the shirt up to examine it. You saw out of the corner of your eye that he was looking at your face and you tried to keep your focus on the stain. The stain looked fresh. Really fresh. It was still wet. You looked back at him now suddenly suspicious and you squinted in his direction.

His big round eyes looked at you. His face was the picture of innocence.

“Mr. Byun.” You said in your sweetest voice. Your eyes trained back on the shirt.

“Did you squirt chocolate sauce on this shirt within the last 10 minutes just so you could see me again?” You cooed at him now. Why did you enjoy teasing him so much?

His eyes widened and he opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again. Clearing his throat you saw him swallow before he looked back at you. Was he blushing? You had said it as a joke but his reaction was a bit too strong. Was that really what happened?

He was silent.

“I was just joking!” You said with a laugh and he looked at you stiffly. His complexion recovering from his blush. Jeez he was pretty in person. He bit his lip. Unable to respond.

“The chocolate will take another two hours. You can come back in two hours and pick up both shirts. Or you can come in one hour for the curry, and then again in another hour for the chocolate.” You said with a raised eyebrow and he looked at you and grinned. He nodded and pulled the pen from the cup near the register along with a card. This time he signed his signature and handed it to you with a wide smile that showed his perfect teeth.

“ _That_ is my autograph.” He said and he turned and walked out the door. You stared at the door as it closed with shock written all over your face.

You were a wreck as you waited. Looking up expectantly with each door chime. Your Neurophysiology notes were long forgotten and you found yourself staring at the door, shaking your leg, trying to breath normally.

You hated not knowing if he would be back in one hour or two and you watched the clock as the first hour approached. You busied yourself with straightening the tag and collar on his curry shirt, anticipating his arrival when you heard the door chime. Your head spin around and you saw a woman enter with a bag of clothing. Your stomach fell and you greeted her lifelessly, getting her information and counting the garments. You turned around to deposit them for cleaning and when you turned back to the counter you jumped.

“Ohh!” You said out loud.

“You scared me again.” You added sheepishly. Baekhyun was back and he was smiling at you now.

“Yah, why are you so easy to startle?” He said in a friendly tone. It almost sounded flirty, but you shook that thought out of your head. You preferred to live in the real world.

He drummed his long fingers on the counter and leaned forward. He leaned a bit too close to you and you inhaled sharply.

“Is my shirt ready?” He asked with raised eyebrows and a small smirk. He was so close you could see his pink lips and the tiny birthmark that sat above the corner of his mouth. He blinked at you expectantly and when you didn’t respond he smiled. You licked your lips nervously and you saw his eyes move down to your mouth for a moment before they looked back up.

And he bit his lip.

You felt your face heat up with the way he was looking at you.

You realized you were staring at him without moving or speaking when you saw him arch an eyebrow. Your eyes flew open wide and immediately turned around to grab his curry shirt. The one you had sweetly hung up and caressed the collar of with your fingertips over and over for the last 30 minutes.

You pivoted on your heels, holding the shirt and you handed it to him and you held it out to him, your hand was trembling and you gave it a death glare for betraying you like that. He took the shirt from you and you felt his fingers touch your hand and you froze. He didn’t immediately pull the shirt away. His hand lingered and his fingers touched yours for longer than necessary until you gave the shirt a little push so that he would just take it already and put you out of your misery. You felt like you were losing your mind. You were pretty sure your entire face was bright red by now and you lowered your eyes, refusing to look up at him as you scanned the tag and told him his total.

You watched the counter surface and saw long slender fingers slide a bill across in your direction which you quickly grabbed and placed into the register. You had to give him his change. You had to give him his change. Ugh. There were coins and a bill and you considered just dropping the whole thing on the counter top and letting him deal with it. It was his fault you were like this after all. Coming in here with his eyes and his looks and that goddamned lip bite. You slowly counted out the change and held it in your hands and when you looked over you saw his hand on the counter. Palm up. Ready.

_Shit_

You moved you hand, with the coins inside to hover just above his open hand and you released the coins. They jingled into his hand and he closed his fist and quickly put them inside his pocket and put his hand back on the counter for the rest. You knew you were being ridiculous. And obvious. But you were just trying to survive here.

You held the bill out with your fingertips and slowly moved it toward his hand. Inching your way closer until it hovered just above his palm. You let go and you flinched when his hand closed with force, grabbing and crumpling up the bill. You watched his hand move and saw him put the bill in his pocket with the coins. Then you heard him laughing. Hard.

“I do believe that was the most interesting monetary transaction I have ever experienced in my entire life.” You looked up and he was shaking his head as he laughed, holding his belly.

“God, you’re adorable.” He said under his breath and your eyes flew open in shock.

“I will see you in an hour!” He announced and he turned and waved a hand into the air as he walked out.

You felt your legs go weak and you dropped to the floor behind the counter.

Byun Baekhyun just said you were adorable.

You pretty much just acted like the weirdest person in the world in front of him.

But he said you were adorable.

Your mind was racing and your breathing was too fast, you closed your eyes and breathed in deeply, trying to calm down. And the realization that he was going to be back hit you like a ton of bricks. Shit! You had to do this again in an hour. Should you just give up and call the ambulance now?

No. You could do this. You could be normal! You had to. For the sake of your pride.

So you distracted yourself. You turned on some music and you busied yourself with anything you could to distract yourself from thinking about Byun Baekhyun. You cleaned the counter, organized receipts, organized your notes. You refused to let your mind wander.

A BTS song came on and you found yourself dancing to it as you swept the floor. You reached the entryway that separated the front lobby from the back work area when you heard the door chime. You were all the way down the long hallway and you couldn’t see who came in but it had only been about 45 minutes so you were relatively confident that it wasn’t him.

“I’ll be right out!” You shouted to your customer and you danced your way out toward the counter, moving fast so you wouldn’t keep them waiting long. As you rounded the corner into the open waiting space you ran into the waiting customer.

You heard an “oof” as you bounced off them and you felt your footing give way with the impact. Falling backwards now your hands reached out to grab something to hold on to and you found hands that had reached out to you.

The hands swiftly pulled you back up and you were now breathing hard, in what appeared to be an embrace with a complete stranger. You looked down at the hands that held you by the elbows and you noticed the fingers were long and slender. Your face shot up and you saw him. Baekhyun’s face had a similar expression of shock as you as he looked down at you. He was inches away from you. You could smell him and your eyes were looking at his mouth. You were frozen by those pink lips. And the tiny birthmark. His lips were parted and you saw the tip of his tongue peaking out from between his white teeth. You could feel his chest rising and falling with each breath and you felt his heart beating against your chest. Your eyes moved around his face until the they reached his eyes and he was staring at you. His gaze unmoving. And his expression was unreadable. You started to come back into your mind and you felt yourself begin to move away. But you felt his hands move. They were on your elbows but as you moved to back up they wrapped around your waist and pulled you back into him. Your eyes widened in surprise and you saw him smile now as he held you close to him.

“I think this might be even more interesting than last time.” He said in a whisper.

You cleared your throat and pushed his chest a little firmer to get free from his grasp. He let go and you noticed his cheeks were pink now.

“I’m sorry.” You looked down with a blush on your face as well. “Thanks for not letting me fall.” You looked back up at him and he smiled as he approached the counter. He was quiet now and was looking at you. He watched as you walked back to the counter to retrieve his shirt. The chocolate shirt.

“Okay I give up.” He said. He ran both of his hands quickly over his face and groaned. He rubbed his eyes before quickly running his hands through his hair. He placed his hands down on the counter and he looked back up at you. His teeth were gritted together and his face looked serious now.

“I give up.” He repeated a little quieter. You looked at him questioningly. What is he talking about?

He looked down at his hands on the counter and took a deep breath.

“Can I get your number?” He looked up and squinted his eyes and looked at you through a nervous grimace.


	2. Chapter 2

  
Holy shit. Did that really just happen? Did Byun Baekhyun just ask you for your number? Was he seriously standing there looking beautiful as hell and kinda embarrassed and nervous because he just asked you for your number and now you were frozen and silent.

You stared at him. You really really stared at him. Then you stuck your finger in your mouth and bit down hard.

“Oww!” You shouted and whimpered, cradling it in your other hand. Okay, so you were awake.

He was still looking at you only now he was glancing nervously down at your finger too.

“Are you going to say something?” He finally said and you gasped.

“I thought I did! Did I not say anything?!” Oh Christ, you were doing it again. Being super weird. Oh no.

He shook his head and pouted his lips making the cutest face… ugh damn it why?! You took a deep breath and held it, looking up at the ceiling.

“Ummm..” You closed your eyes and opened them again.

“Are you serious?” You asked, glancing back at him. Because really, come on. He had to be joking right? Maybe this was a dare. You looked around to make sure you weren’t being watched. You couldn’t see anyone outside the store windows.

“Yes. I’m serious. I would seriously like your number.” He said, rocking on his heels again. He ran his fingers through his hair and you watched it fall effortlessly and perfectly back into place.

“I have a test tomorrow.” You suddenly remembered. And he raise an eyebrow, not getting the connection.

“See, if I give you my number today then that’s all I’m going to be thinking about. _Baekhyun has my number, what’s he doing with it? Is he going to text me or worse, is he going to call me?!_ If I give it to you today then….I’m going to fail my test tomorrow.” You shook your head with a frown. Then you looked back up at Baekhyun after your little diatribe and he had a smile on his face. It was the kind of smile that someone has when they are trying not to smile but failing miserably. 

“Wait, why is it worse if I call you?” He asked, suddenly serious with his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes narrowed.

“Then I’d have to hear your voice.” You said as if it were obvious.

His eyes narrowed even more now and he wrinkled his nose.

“What’s wrong with my voice?” He stepped back and he actually had the nerve to sound a bit offended.

“Ugh, gross. It’s so perfect. Do you have any idea what it would do to me? Jesus! I’d end up dead. Cause of death, a goddamn phone call from Byun Baekhyun right before a NeuroPhysio exam.” You crossed your arms over your chest and lifted your chin in defiance. You heard him laughing again.

“Nope. You’re not getting it. Not until my test is over.” You shook your head, turned quickly, and grabbed his chocolate shirt.

You scanned the tag and told him his total and he looked up in surprise.

“Wait, why is this one more expensive than the curry shirt?” His questioned you with his mouth open and eyebrows raised.

“Because you stained this one on purpose.” You said with a disapproving head shake and he laughed again. Throwing his head back and laughing out loud.

“Alright, alright. I did this one on purpose.” He shook his head and admitted it, biting his lip to stop the sheepish grin.

He grabbed the money for his shirt and held it out towards you. You were about to grab it when he pulled it back and opened his other hand towards you instead. Palm up.

“Hand.” He said.

You stared at him with a blank look.

“Give me your hand.” He insisted with raised eyebrows. Opening and closing the hand that beckoned for yours.

You looked at him and arched your eyebrow. And slowly extended your hand in his direction, when it got close to him he grabbed it and pulled it to him, placed the money for his shirt on your palm and closed your fingers around the cash. Then he dramatically released your hand. You smiled and put the money into the cash register, counted out his change and held it in your closed fist.

“Hand.” You said as you held out your empty hand palm up. You heard him giggle and offer up his quickly.

You placed one of his coins in his hand, closed it and pushed it back to him. He opened it and looked at the single coin, realizing what you were doing he sighed with one eyebrow raised and placed the coin in his pocket before sticking his hand back out to you for more. A smile on his pretty lips.

One by one you returned his change until you were on the last coin. His smile was gone as he held his hand out to you for the last coin and you noticed his eyes were looking at you with something other than amusement. The look he gave you made your neck tingle and you felt a blush creeping up your face. You swallowed and cleared your throat.

His eyes were on yours as you placed the final coin in the palm of his hand. As you pulled your hand away, you felt his fingers curl upward and they ran along the palm of your hand as you moved. Brushing against your skin. Affected by his touch, your hand loitered over his and you pulled your hand away slower. Savoring the sensation. You felt your heart pounding in your chest and you watched as he slowly closed his eyes when his fingertips touched your skin. Then he bit his lip and opened his eyes, looking back at you now.

He inhaled deeply. You heard a tremble in his breath. His eyes were moving over your face.

“What time do you get off work today?” He asked, his voice was thick. Lower than it had been before.

“We close at six.” You replied robotically, still in a trance from his touch. Then you lifted your hand up like a showcase model above you to the giant sign right above your head that read _“We Close at Six!”_

His smile was back at your response and you saw him bite his lip and wrinkle his nose in your direction. You raised your eyebrows at the gesture and stuck out the tip of your tongue in his direction. He glanced at your mouth quickly before he nodded his head and turned to leave with his freshly cleaned shirt.

You stared at the closing door and the chime echoed throughout the empty store lobby. The longer you stared the bigger the gloominess grew in your gut. You had to be the biggest idiot to ever walk the earth. You felt a frown begin to form on your face and pulled out your cell phone and dialed your best friend.

“Ugh! Minah!” You whined pitifully. “I’m a goddamned moron!!”

“Why? What did you do now?” She asked you unsympathetically.

“This incredibly hot, sexy, charming, hilarious guy came into the store and he asked for my number and I turned him down because I have to study for my NeuroPhysio test tomorrow.” You wailed almost intelligibly. It was a testament to your friendship with Minah that she understood you.

“Good. Boys are dumb. You gotta pass that test! Wait, how hot was he? Scale of 1 to 10.” She asked, reconsidering her usual,stance.

“He was like a 15 Minah!” You shouted and you heard her gasp.

“Yah! You’ve never given anyone more than an 8! What’s the matter with you!? How could you turn him down?!?!” If she were next to you, you’d have been hit several times by now.

“This guy was like, the hot guy to end all hot guys. And he was funny and smart and witty and sexy, oh fuck was he sexy. And now he’s gone and I’m never going to see him again.” You flailed your free arm around dramatically, having a full on fit now.

You heard someone clear their throat behind you and you froze.

“IhavetogoMinahiloveyoui'llcallyoulaterbye!” You whispered into the phone and quickly turned around.

Your hand flew to your mouth in absolute shock and horror and you made a sound similar to that of a cat in the throws of death.

“Oh no.” You whispered from behind your hand.

“Oh yes.” You heard him say, matching your whisper. His pink lips turned up into a grin and you saw him lick his lips and swallow. He was standing behind the counter now. He wasn’t allowed back here. He wasn’t an employee. You could refuse service to him and kick him out. You had a sign that said so. This was totally grounds for it.

“How much did you hear?” You finally asked after a moment, the shock was wearing off and was quickly replaced by pure embarrassment. You suddenly wished for an earth quake to crack open the earth below your feet and swallow you whole. You closed your eyes, trying to force your heart to stop beating so loudly. You were almost positive he could hear it.

“Enough.” Was his answer and he took a step closer to you. Your eyes saw the step and they opened in alarm.

You felt his fingertips touch the palm of your hand. And you closed your eyes. Both feeling it happen AND seeing it happen were too much to bear. Something had to give. He was moving painfully slow as he ran his long fingers along your palm over the edge and around to the back of your hand. You felt his fingers wrap around yours and he pulled your hand up toward him. Your eyes opened when you felt something scratching against the your skin. It tickled.

You saw that it was the pen from your counter and Baekhyun was writing something on your hand. When he was done writing you felt air. He was blowing on your hand to dry the ink. Then he touched it lightly with his finger tip. Satisfied he let your hand go and put the cap back on the pen and tossed it back on the counter.

Your hand was back in your possession and you saw numbers. A long string of numbers and a name written below it. _“Byun Baek [space] Hyun”._

“Hey, dummy, you spelled your name wrong.” You said teasingly, squinting at his writing and you heard him laugh. Loud and glorious. His eyes turned back to you and he held a finger out to you.

“You better call me, as soon as your test is over.” He said in as threatening a voice as he could muster. It wasn’t threatening at all and you laughed as a smile took over his face.

You rolled your eyes at his attempt at coercion and sighed. You licked your lips and nodded. Finally agreeing.

He was looking at you now. Staring really. Just blinking away, not moving or saying a damn thing. You were beginning to feel the scrutiny of his eyes on you when you noticed his eyes glanced down for a second before they returned to your eyes. Wait, what is he thinking?

Unable to help yourself you looked at his mouth. His lips were parted and you saw the moisture on his bottom lip from when he licked his lips earlier. You saw the tip of his tongue moving inside his mouth. It ran along the bottom edge of his top teeth and then he ran his tongue along his bottom lip before he pulled it in between his teeth and bit down. He let it go and it popped back out and your eyes moved back up to his. He was watching you stare at his mouth and he had moved much closer to you now. You hadn’t even noticed him take any steps.

You saw his eyebrows furrowed for a split second, he narrowed his eyes at you before relaxing them and you felt his breath on your lips as he closed in. You felt the wetness and warmth of his mouth as his lips touched yours and you closed your eyes. You were unable to process any thoughts outside of his lips. They were so soft as they pushed up against your own. You felt his mouth move and yours responded by opening slightly, allowing his lips to coax your own in between his where you felt the tip of his tongue lightly touch. Your movements were more cautious. You were so stunned by what was happening. You felt his mouth open again and his teeth we’re there. He lightly held your lip between his top, and bottom teeth and you felt him exhale a hot breath against your mouth. You could taste him on your tongue. He tasted so good. There was a sweetness to his breath that overtook your senses and you felt the smallest moan from your throat escape into his mouth. He sucked on your lip harder and you felt both of his hands on either side of your face as he pulled away from your mouth and rested his head against your forehead.

“Shit.” You heard him whisper. Your heartbeat was pounding in your ears and you opened your eyes and saw him so close to you. He bit down hard on his lip before he spoke again.

“You can’t do that. I can’t handle that.” You heard him breathing hard and his hands pulled your face back to look at him now. His eyebrows were furrowed and he searched your face. Regaining control. He leaned in again and kissed your forehead before he spoke.

“Pass your test okay?” He said quietly. You nodded.

“And then call me okay?” He raised his eyebrows at you and you nodded again.

“I have to go now because you’re driving me crazy.” He whispered in your ear and he let you go, turned and walked to the door. You watched him leave with a dazed expression and you saw him glance back at you with a tiny smile on his face before the door closed behind him.

The chime echoed as the door closed.

You looked down at your hand quickly and noticed the ink was beginning to spread and you quickly saved his number in your phone. Marking his entry as _Curry & Chocolate_ with a smile.

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

  
Your phone was laying face up on the bench outside of the building in which you just took your exam. It was lit up, unlocked and on a contact page that read “Curry & Chocolate”. You paced in front of it, eyeing it nervously as you chewed on your thumb nail. Like you had been doing for 45 minutes since you finished your test.

You’d almost pressed it at least 10 times but each time you gave up and put it back down. Having tested out your voice each time and found that you sounded dumb, or nervous, or sleepy, or way too casual he would never buy that.

You walked in front of it again, biting your fingernails now. 

“What are we doing?” You heard a voice behind you.

It was Minah. She fell into step with you as you paced in front of the bench that held your phone. Looking curiously from your steps to your phone.

“Ugh! I can’t do it Minah!” You groaned and sank down into a squat on the ground in front of the bench. You covered your eyes with your hands dramatically.

“What what what? What can’t you do? Why are we looking at this bench. Oh, is this your phone?” Minah picked it up and looked at the screen. Reading the contact name curiously.

“Is this a new restaurant? Curry & Chocolate. That sounds terrible together. I bet it will fail in a month.” She said critically and you groaned into your hands, still squatting.

“Do you want me to do it for you?” Minah asked and you saw her hold the phone up to her ear. You shot up toward her in a panic and pried the phone out of her hands just in time to hear someone answer on the other end.

“Oh! Someone picked up!” She exclaimed excitedly and you finally wrestled the phone from her grip and quickly put the phone to your ear.

“Hello hello hello? Who’s this? You need to say something so I know it’s you otherwise you’ll be blocked.” Baekhyun was speaking quickly in a Sing song voice and you froze when you heard him.

Minah was looking at you. You stood dumb and frozen with your phone to your ear. Like the good friend that she is, she swung her arm wide and smacked you hard on your back.

“Oww! It’s me, it’s me!” You shouted into the phone and gave Minah a death glare. She smiled a satisfied smile, and crossed her arms.

“Is it really you?” You heard him say after a long pause.

“What did you do this morning right before calling me?” He asked suspiciously and you laughed.

“I took an exam.” You said and you heard him sigh out loud.

“This was the worst idea ever! What took you so long to call? I’ve been answering every “unknown caller” call I’ve gotten this morning and let me tell you, I never want to do this again.“ He sounded annoyed and sassy. And fucking adorable. You heard him walking. His footsteps echoed into the phone.

“I have to get to class!” Minah whispered and waved at you as she left. You nodded and waved back.

“Where are you?” Baekhyun asked after a moment.

“School.” You shrugged out a short answer not quite comfortable with the sound of your voice yet. You were still too nervous.

“Where at school?” His voice was light and flirty and you looked up in alarm. Why does he need to know that? He’s not, is he?

“Sitting on a bench outside of the human sciences building.” You said slowly, looking around now. You heard his movement on his side of the phone and your heart began to race. He was silent for a while and you heard footsteps.

“Wait, you’re not here are you?” You suddenly asked. Your voice was too high now. Elevated from your nerves.

“What if I am?” You heard him reply, only you didn’t hear the reply in your phone, but it was whispered into your other ear.

You screamed and turned around. Clutching at your chest and breathing hard. You recognized his familiar coat and face mask and his eyes told you he was laughing now. You heard his chuckles and you saw him lean forward trying to control his laughter.

“That never gets old.” You heard him laughing again and you looked around to make sure no one had noticed him. There weren’t many people there but the few that lingered outside of the building were sure to have heard of him. And his facemask wasn’t exactly discrete. You reached a hand out for his arm and when you grabbed it he turned to look at you surprised.

“Hey! Quit making so much noise, someone is going to recognize you!” You whispered at him as you pulled him away from the building entrance. He moved easily with you as you walked, his arm slack and limp as you pulled. He was quiet now, watching as you dragged him into the building and into a quiet empty study room. You closed the door and turned around.

Baekhyun quickly took off his facemask in the privacy of the room.

“What were you thinking Oppa?” You said in a nagging tone and his eyes shot up wide at you. His mouth was open in surprise and he stared at you.

 _Shit. I just called him Oppa._ You realized and you felt your blush on your face and neck. You opened your mouth to speak but found no words so you closed it again and exhaled loudly.

“Oppa?” He said quietly. Arching an eyebrow with a tiny smile forming on his mouth. His eyes looked down at his hands and you saw him shuffle in his feet. He was always so fidgety. He looked back up at you again and he was practically glowing.

 _Ugh._ You groaned internally. Closing your eyes for a moment. You looked around the small room. Suddenly realizing what terrible mistake you had made.

You and Baekhyun were now alone inside a room with a door and a lock and no windows. And you had just called him _Oppa_ and now he was looking at you with that look. You quickly and nervously averted your gaze, looking around the room. Anywhere that wasn’t in his eyes. Because right now his sexy eyes were boring a hole into your face. You felt your heart beat increase and you were beginning to feel stuffy in this little room. You started to move toward the door and he took a step in front of your path. Blocking your way.

“Are you just going to leave? I’m not wearing a mask, I’ll be recognized if you open that door.” He was clearly pouting now. He stuck his bottom lip out and frowned and his eyes looked up at you. Blinking slowly.

“W-Well we can’t stay here.” You crossed yours arms and lifted your chin. The tremble in your voice betrayed your false confidence.

“Come on, put your mask on. Let’s go somewhere less intimate.” As soon as the word left your mouth you clenched your jaw and closed your eyes.

Baekhyun was silent. You opened one eye and looked at him and his eyes were on your face. He was biting his bottom lip, not the a sexy come hither way like he usually did, but this was a nervous gesture.

“Where’d you put your mask?” You asked quietly. He didn’t respond. He just looked at you.

“Are you that scared of being alone with me?” He asked quietly, his eyes were soft and unsure now. As if he was afraid of your response. How could you tell him that it wasn’t him you were having trust issues with.

You could feel a buzzing in your chest. A nervous tension that was building the longer he looked at you. You didn’t want to leave. You didn’t want him to leave either. But the longer you looked at him the smaller the room felt. The more aware of his body heat you became. The more in sync with his beating heart you felt. And the more you wanted him. You could feel the desire burning inside you and you felt your wetness grow. Breathing was getting harder.

You had to find that mask.

You reached your hand out and stuck it in his jacket pocket and he closed his eyes. Consenting to your search. You saw his face drop and his hand fell to his side. His other hand was still inside his other pocket. He exhaled through pink open lips and your eyes zeroed in on them. With his eyes closed and his mouth relaxed his lips turned down into a natural pout that just begged to be tasted.

The pocket was empty. You pulled your hand out of his jacket pocket and moved to the other side. The one with his hand. The mask had to be there. Your fingers reached inside the pocket. It was warm and your hand found his long fingers. As you reached inside his hand moved and you felt his fingers interlink with yours, holding your hand inside his pocket. You closed your eyes and you stilled your hand. You didn’t feel anything else in his pocket except for his hand but you suddenly didn’t want to let him go. You liked the strong grip his fingers held on your hand and you felt something stirring inside of you.

You opened your eyes and found that he was watching you closely. And the look of uncertainty was gone. He was looking at you with desire. The same look he held before he kissed you.

You held his gaze and moved closer to him now. Reaching your free hand inside his coat to the back pocket of his jeans you let your fingers slowly travel into his back pocket. Of course you had to cup his ass in the process. The pocket was empty. But his ass was soft and warm. You resisted the urge to squeeze.

He watched your face and you saw the corners of his mouth turn up a tiny bit and his eyebrow twitched. You cleared your throat.

You removed your hand and moved to the next back pocket. You reached inside and pulled out his wallet.

His grin grew and his nostrils flared slightly, fighting his smile. The wallet was the only thing in this pocket. You put it back and smiled a little. Only his front pockets were left. He looked at you and raised one eyebrow. Daring you. You saw his eyes dart to your mouth, making sure you saw him look. You felt his fingers squeeze your hand inside his jacket pocket.

It was now or never. You reached his front pocket. Your fingertips paused for a second at the top before you slipped your whole hand inside quickly. You heard a gasp as your hand fished around inside of his pocket and when you looked at him his eyes were closed.

And you felt it. You felt it, but you tried to ignore it because you also found the mask.

You smiled a triumphant smile and pulled on the elastic strap of the face mask, freeing it from deep inside his front pocket.

“I got it!” You cheered and he opened his eyes now.

He took a step towards you, closing the gap between your faces he leaned in close.

“No fair. You’re playing dirty.” He said in a whisper before his lips reached yours.

You responded to his kiss, needier than you did last time. His lips urged yours to open and the frustration you felt earlier fueled your response to him. You felt yourself kissing him back hungrily. Your tongue ran along his lip and you pulled his bottom lip into your mouth, sucking and you heard him moan as you did it. You pushed him back against the door as your mouth and hands were on him. As he hit the door you heard him grunt in surprise. He let go of your hand now and both of his hands fell to his side. Your hands roamed over his chest, pushing his jacket off of his arms. You heard it fall to the floor.

You broke the kiss and looked down at his jacket on the floor. He followed your eyes and your hand suddenly flew up to your mouth in shock and embarrassment. You backed away, surprised at your strong reaction to this him. Surprised at just how much you wanted him, and how you had very obviously lost control.

“Wooow!” Baekhyun finally spoke, a teasing smile on his lips.

“Did you bring me in here to take advantage of me?” He said in mock shock.

You shook your head and turned around away from him. Your face was red now and your hand was shaking. He was enjoying seeing you like this. It was evident by his teasing. You turned around to face him with a finger raised in his direction.

“You started it!” You winced with eyebrows furrowed. His hand flew to his chest at the accusation.

“Oh no I did _not!_ ” His eyes flew open, wide in his defense.

“Yeah you did, you kissed me first!” You insisted. Reminding him of the chain of events that led to you beginning to undress him as you attacked his mouth.

“That was only after you performed your little unauthorized body search!” He said as he patted his chest and ass dramatically. Then he laid his palm over his crotch. His fingers splayed over himself.

“You touched my wiener!” He whispered accusatorially, thoroughly scandalized. You saw him bite down on his lip to fight back a smile and you snorted out a loud laugh, unable to keep your laughter contained.

“I guess I’m having trouble controlling myself around you.” You admitted, still laughing. Your embarrassment long forgotten.

Your laughter died down and you noticed he was leaning against the door watching you again. His eyes moved back and forth as if he was deep in thought.

“I guess I don’t want you to.” Baekhyun whispered, looking at you again, he blinked his eyes slowly, not breaking his serious gaze on you.

The air thickened in the room and he took two quick steps toward you and grabbed your face. His mouth went to yours kissing you again and he pushed you hard back into the wall of the small room. You felt his hands roaming around your body and they trailed down to your ass. You felt his fingers dig into your flesh and squeeze and you moaned into his mouth. He was sucking on your lip and you felt his teeth bite down.

His mouth left yours and moved down to your neck. His lips kissed your neck and you felt his mouth open up and he tasted your skin with the tip of his tongue. He then opened his mouth wider and his teeth bit down hard and you moaned out. You opened your mouth and your breathing came out in short gasps.

He was moving his hands under your shirt now. Pushing the fabric upward as his long fingertips felt your soft skin. He lifted it over your head and his fingertips reached your nipples and pinched them through the fabric of your bra.

“What do you want?” You heard him whisper. You opened your eyes and he looked back into your eyes, his breathing was hard. He leaned in again to kiss your mouth deeply before pulling away again.

“Tell me what you want.” He said. He was pushing upward into you. You could feel his arousal pressing into your thigh. You closed your eyes and moaned.

“I won’t do anything until you tell me what you want.” He said again. His mouth was back in your neck, biting down again and you were having a hard time forming words.

“I-I don’t know.” You breathed out and he chuckled into your ear. His teeth pulled lightly in your earlobe.

“Oh yes you do.” He growled sexily into your ear.

“Y-Your mouth.” You breathed out. And he looked at you and bit his lip.

“Where do you want my mouth baby?” He said against your skin again. You felt like you were going to explode.

“I want you to taste me.” You said, breathing harder now. He moved fast. Turning your body around so your back was to the table. You felt his hands move quickly to your pants, undoing the button and zipper and pushing them down along with your panties. They fell down to the floor and he picked you up and set you down on the table. Then he dropped to his knees in front of you. You held your legs closed, unable to be the one to move first.

“You’ll have to open up if you want me to taste you.” He said with an eyebrow raised and you felt his hands pushing your legs open. You slowly allowed them to open up and you felt his mouth kissing your inner thighs. You felt his tongue leaving trails of wetness along the skin, moving closer to your center. When you felt his hot tongue lick you, you moaned out and opened your legs more. You covered your mouth and bite down on the palm of your hand to stifle your moans. His tongue licked you again and you felt his lips latch onto your clit and suck. His tongue moved again inside his mouth and flicked against your clit as he held it between his lips and you felt a jolt of pleasure course through you. You looked down and you saw his head bobbing between your legs and his hands gripped hard into the flesh of your thighs. His long fingers leaving indentations in your skin. Marks that would remind you of this later. Your hands moved down to his hair and you felt him moan into you. The vibration sent shivers through your body.

“I want your fingers in me.” You suddenly said and his hand moved down to join his tongue. You felt him slide a finger inside and then another. You felt his fingers moving inside you and his mouth continued its captivation of your clit.

You felt the surge of your orgasm overtake you and you bucked your hips into him and your thigh muscles tensed. You cried out and his mouth didn’t let up on you until you were done.

Baekhyun sat back on his ankles and looked at you with his mouth open. You saw your wetness on his lips and face and you pulled him up to stand in front of you, kissing him hungrily, you tasted yourself on his lips and his tongue and he pressed his clothed hardness into you.

“What do you want Oppa?” You asked him now, wrapping your legs tightly around his waist, pulling him hard against you.

“I want to fuck you on this table” he said without hesitation and your hands went to his pants and pushed them down. He quickly pulled his shirt off over his head. You felt his cock, hard and ready under his underwear and you pulled him out. His head glistened with his precum, your hand stroked his length as you brought him to your entrance. Pushing yourself closer to the edge of the table you led him into you and you felt him push himself inside fully. Your legs fell open further as he thrust inside you. His arms held tightly around your waist and the sounds of your bodies slapping against each other filled the room. You cried out with each hard thrust until you felt his body tense under your hands. He pushed in twice more before you felt him cum with a low groan. His body trembled as he filled you. You planted small kisses over his beautiful face as you both recovered.

He held on to you, resting his heavy head on your shoulder his breathing evened out. You felt him pull out and his mouth reached yours again, claiming your lips sweetly.

“Can you hand me the napkins inside my backpack?” You motioned toward the bag on the floor and he grabbed it, opening it and searching for the tissues, he pulled out a brown paper sack and looked inside, pulling out a stack of napkins and handing them to you. He looked back inside the bag with a question in his face.

“Is that a sweet potato?” He asked and you laughed. You had forgotten that you bought an extra one yesterday and tossed it into your bag.

He reached his hand inside and pulled it out. He unwrapped it and looked at you. You shrugged and nodded your head and he shrugged and took a bite. You laughed out loud at him. And he looked at you with his eyebrows raised.

“What? It’s good” he said with a smile.

“At least put on some clothes first Baekhyun!” You threw his pants toward him and he laughed and tried to catch them, dropping his potato in process.

His face turned into the saddest little puppy frown you’d ever seen as he watched it tumble into the floor.

He looked up at you and you immediately stopped laughing. He looked so sad.

“Aww, I’m sorry Baek. Come on, let’s go buy you another one.” You hugged him and helped him pull his shirt back on.

“Will you buy me two?” He said, his powerful pout still in full effect.

“Okay, I’ll buy you two.”


	4. Chapter 4

You were prepared.

You were ready for him to run. You expected it.

After the high wore off that morning, you found yourself sitting in a cafe across an awkward and slightly flustered Byun Baekhyun. He seemed to have a permanent blush on his face since you left the study room. 

You definitely didn’t expect this side of him. He was a celebrity. An idol. Wanted by everyone, yet unobtainable. You thought that he was the hump-and-dump type who make up some excuse to high tail out of there and you’d never hear from him again. In fact you were bracing yourself for it. While trying not to mentally kick yourself for giving in to your sexual urges in that room.

You tried to give yourself some benefit. How could you have been expected to resist such sexiness? Such beautiful lips and that perfect face and those eyes that looked at you the way they did in the moment. You were only human after all.

The coffee was hot and fresh and the sweet bread was tasty. The cafe was also empty so your weird early morning after-sex date would not be witnessed by anyone who might give a damn. Because in the world of Byun Baekhyun, they all gave a damn.

“Are you busy today?” You could hear the forced casual tone in your words and you saw him look up from his coffee cup into your eyes. He hadn’t said anything for quite some time and seemed to be lost deeply in whatever thoughts were occupying him.

Your mind made up all sorts of details for his silence.

_He’s trying to find a way to leave. Trying to make up some excuse. He’s probably got his hand in his pocket now trying to send a 911 text to his friend so they can call him and he can fake an urgent situation._

“Nope. I’ve got nothing going on today. I’m completely free.” He bit down on his lip and looked up at you with big open eyes.

You didn’t expect that at all.

You’d just given him an out and he fucked it up. What a dummy!

“What do you have going on today?” He asked casually as he grabbed your muffin and took a big bite out of the top of it. You watched as he chewed and ate your muffin with a surprised look on your face.

It was such an unexpected and intimate gesture that you were frozen.

Baekhyun just ate your…muffin.

You suddenly cracked up in loud laughter as you made the connection to what he actually ate an hour ago and you felt yourself unable to stop the laughter that erupted from your body.

Baekhyun was confused. He watched you with wide eyes as you laid your head down on the table and shook with laughter and you heard him beginning to chuckle.

“Yah! What’s so funny?” He said with a wide smile unable to stop himself from laughing with you.

You lifted your head and pointed at the muffin and he looked down with a confused look on his face.

“You can’t even talk! Are you okay? Are you dizzy? Do you think you’re going to pass out?” He was talking faster now, trying to get you to stop laughing and talk.

“I’m not very strong. I probably couldn’t carry you that far if you passed out. We’d probably only make it to the door.” He said between giggles and you finally looked up at him as you gasped for air.

“I’m laughing because you” you pointed at his face.

“Me? What did I do?” His eyes were wide, his smile was glorious and he was so fucking beautiful.

“You ate my muffin.” You bit down in your lip hard. You wiped at the tears that leaked from your eyes, He looked down at the muffin that he indeed had just taken a big bite out of.

You watched as his eyes looked at the muffin and then suddenly widened and he looked back up at you with shocked eyes as he made the connection. He leaned forward and narrowed his eyes at you.

“Yah! Are you - Are you making a sex joke right now? Over breakfast?!” His eyebrows were knitted together and his question came out in a scandalized whisper.

“You really are something else you know?” He said and you saw him shake his head and smile to himself before he took a sip of coffee.

“You never answered my question.” He said after a while and you saw him looking down at his napkin as he played with the corner of it. He was folding it up and unfolding it over and over. He really did fidget nonstop, this guy.

“What are your plans today?” He looked at you now, expectantly.

You wondered why he wanted to know. He didn’t really plan on spending more time with you today did he? Didn’t he already get lucky? When was he going to vanish from your life and never see you again like you thought he would.

“Well, today will be filled with fun activities such as a stop at the pharmacy for something very important and then maybe I’ll do some more spells. Or take a nap.” He was watching you, trying to make sense of your cryptic answers.

“So you have nothing planned after the pharmacy?” He said with his eyebrows raised.

You shook your head in response.

“What are you getting at the pharmacy?” He was curious and couldn’t stop himself from asking.

You stared at him for a long while, debating. Did you tell him that you just had unprotected sex with him not long ago and you weren’t on the pill so you needed the morning after pill to avoid a life changing mistake for both of you?

“I need a pill.” You said and you glanced down at the table, away from his still questioning eyes.

“Do you have a headache?” He asked with his brows furrowed.

You sighed deeply. Today you discovered that Byun Baekhyun, while a fantastic lay, was very curious and a just a little bit dense. And wouldn’t just let things drop once he felt the need to know something.

“Baekhyun, I need a pill. We didn’t use protection. The last thing I need right now is an accident.” You said with finality and his eyes widened and he blushed.

“Oh God! Oh God! I’m sorry! Oh Jesus!” He winced and looked like he might just die right there at the table.

“I’m so embarrassed, I shouldn’t have just..”

You saw him make a tossing motion with his long fingers

“…inside you like that, without asking. Oh my God, I’m such an asshole.” His head hung low and you saw him cover his face with both hands.

“Fuck. Did I really just do that? Ughhhhhhh, what is wrong with me?” He was mumbling into his hands now as you watched him have his own little freak out.

This was the surprise of the century.

Not only was he NOT trying to escape right now, but he was actually apologizing to you? Feeling bad about it? Feeling embarrassed because the both of you were so caught up in the moment that neither one of you considered protection.

“Why do you think this is all on you? I didn’t exactly protest Baekhyun.” You said quietly and you saw him lift his eyes and look at you from beneath his hands.

“Listen. Why don’t you just get on with the rest of your day. Thanks for the breakfast, I’m going to head over to the pharmacy. You don’t have to worry about a thing. You can go your way, I’ll go mine.” You began to stand and you saw him sit up and look at you with his head tilted. His eyes were wide and you watched as they slowly narrowed in your direction.

“What?” He said quietly with his head tilted cutely. As if he genuinely didn’t get what was happening.

Then suddenly he straightened up and his face turned from confused to serious. There was something behind his eyes that you had never seen before. Not in pictures, not in videos or fancams. This look was completely new to you.

“Wait a minute, sit down.” He said seriously and he glanced around the empty cafe for a minute.

You sat down as he asked.

“I need you to be honest with me now okay?” His words were slow and carefully chosen.

“What are you doing here? Are you blowing me off?” If his tone had been any different you may have thought he was angry. But he didn’t ask in an angry voice. What was this? Was he worried? Was he hurt?

“Well, I mean I’m not an idiot Baekhyun. I don’t expect anything from you.” You said cautiously. Rationally. You saw his eyes change again.

He looked offended now, genuinely offended. Your own eyes widened in surprise.

“Do you think this is what I do?” His eyes hardened.

“I pick up girls. I fuck them, and then I disappear?” Yes, he was definitely offended.

Were you wrong? Had you been wrong about him all along?

You had to have been wrong. Something in his eyes told you he was being serious and genuine with you right now.

“I-I don’t know. I mean I just thought since you’re you, and I mean I’m not anyone special…” You trailed off, embarrassed now that you misjudged him so horribly. You looked down at the table in front of you. Wishing you could take it all back. Why did you have to jump to such horrible conclusions?

“I don’t do that. This isn’t something I take lightly. I like you okay?” He was leaning forward and you felt his long fingertips touch lightly under your chin. He lifted your face so you had to look at him. His voice was softer now.

You knew you were blushing.

“I like you. A lot. I think there a lot that’s pretty fucking special about you.” He said again and you saw him smile now. A small genuine smile that made your stomach do somersaults.

You wondered what country you had saved in your past life.

“R-Really?” You asked, unsure, insecure, not quite sure you even believed any of this was happening.

He suddenly stood up at the table. You looked up and saw that he was standing in front of you with his hand extended. His long fingers waited for you to move and when you just stared at his extended hand like a idiot he snapped his fingers twice at you.

“Oh come on! Jeez!” He had enough of your inaction and he reached down for your hand and pulled you up.

“B-but, my muffin.” You whined as you looked behind you at the half eaten muffin that was mostly eaten by Baekhyun.

You were dragged out of the cafe onto a sidewalk and you saw him put on his face mask and he pulled the hood of his coat up over his head. You sped up your steps a bit so that you walked next to him instead of being dragged by him and you felt his hand move as he interlinked his fingers in yours.

You stared down in shock. Baekhyun was holding your hand. His hand was warm and felt so nice. His grip was firm but not too tight and when you looked up at him his eyes curved into little half moons.

“Where are we going?”

“We’re going on a fucking date.” You heard the determination in his voice.

You laughed in response and walked with him down the street. As you walked you noticed a pharmacy up ahead.

“Wait a minute, I’m going to stop in here real quick.” You said as you let go of his hand.

Baekhyun’s eyes widened as he read the name of the building you were going into and you heard him gasp.

“Oh my god, she’s doing it now.” You heard him whisper in a panicked voice to himself.

“Oh don’t be a baby, we’re both adults here.” You said as you walked inside. He didn’t come in and you could see his back as he leaned up against the glass, fidgeting nervously.

“Now would be a good time to run, Baek.” You said to yourself with an amused smile as he stood still outside, waiting for you. Cute as hell, fidgeting, nervous, and about to take you on a date.

You wondered what he had in mind. If he even had anything in mind.

The phrmacist greeted you with a nod and you explained what you needed to the old woman behind the counter. A true professional, she nodded casually and handed you a box, giving you very clear and careful instructions. You then saw her bend down and pick up something from behind the counter and slip it inside the bag. You glanced at her curiously but she just smiled and accepted your payment for your pills.

Outside of the pharmacy Baekhyun was waiting with his hood pulled tightly around his head and his face mask firmly covering his features. Only his eyes were visible but he smiled when he saw you. His eyes smiled at least.

Baekhyun was a curious type.

Curious to a fault really.

“Is that it? Ohh, can I see it?” You couldn’t suppress your laugh. What the hell is up with him? It’s literally just a box with two pills inside.

You handed him the bag with a shrug and he did a happy little jump. You assumed it was because he got his way, but who the hell knows what he’s so happy about really.

His eyes looked into the bag and you heard a loud gasp.

You quickly whipped your head around and he was staring wide eyed into the bag, as if there was something incredibly damning inside.

“What?” You finally said, your curiosity getting the better of you. Why was he so shocked about a box of pills?

His tone when he spoke was scandalized.

“What exactly are you planning to do with me today? As if what happened this morning wasn’t enough? You even got the jumbo pack!? There’s like twenty in here!”

What the hell was he on about? You looked at him thoroughly confused and stopped walking when he did.

“What are you talking about?” You said and a thought occurred to you.

The old woman put something in the bag before you left.

_No fucking way._

You quickly ripped the bag from his frozen hands and opened it to see a box of condoms sitting on top of your pills. Your eyes widened in surprise and you pulled it out to look at it.

It was quickly ripped out of your hand and stuffed deep back inside the bag again.

“Don’t take that out here!!?” Baekhyun whispered harshly, fighting his laugh.

“I-I didn’t buy these,” you said in a shocked voice. When you looked up at him his eyes looked right at you.

He wasn’t smiling at all. You saw him raise one eyebrow.

You knew he didn’t believe you.

“I didn’t buy them! I swear! The lady put them in the bag I didn’t even know what she was doing!”

You felt the blush on your face and you suddenly wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

“I mean…I’m way flattered.” You heard him say in a quiet whisper.

“I didn’t!” You insisted a little too loudly. And he took a step closer to you, leaning in to whisper into your ear.

“I should’ve known when you locked me in that room and took advantage of me, how much trouble I was in.” He said in a low voice and you heard the tiny laugh at the end of his teasing.

You sighed loudly and glared at him, pulling the bag open and looking for your receipt for the pills. When you pulled it out you saw only the pills were paid for.   
  
He was still leaning too close and leering at you suggestively while wagging his eyebrows so you just held the paper up to his face.

“See!” His eyes looked from your face to the paper in front of him, too close. He backed up a tiny bit and focused on the words.

You heard another loud gasp. Good God he was dramatic.

“You paid $60 for these pills?” He said too loudly before looking around to make sure he wasn’t attracting any attention.

“Oh my god, you paid $60 just because I didn’t use my fucking brain?”

You shrugged. It was honestly better than the alternative. You didn’t need to risk it.

You watched him as he pulled out his wallet and began leafing through bills.

“No. No. No. Here, take it. It was my fault anyway.” He pulled out a hundred dollar bill and shoved it in your hand.

“Baekhyun Oppa,” you said quietly with your head tilted. He was putting his wallet away and nervously fidgeting on his feet again. You noticed he wasn’t looking in your eyes. Like he was suddenly shy. Was he embarrassed?

Why did he have to be so cute?

“It was only half your fault.” You said after a moment. “This is too much.”

He seemed to turn back on, recovering from his shy embarrassment and grabbing your hand quickly as he resumed his walking down the sidewalk. Completely ignoring your attempts to talk about the money he just gave you.

As you walked, an arcade that had just turned on its lights caught your eye. It was early, the place was probably empty and you looked through the windows at the flashing lights and games as you both walked by.

When you turned to look back at Baekhyun he was eyeing you curiously.

“Do you want to go in there?” He asked and he stopped walking.

“We don’t have to. I’ve never been in an arcade.” You shrugged and his eyes widened.

“Never?” He was backing up now, pulling you backwards with him.

“I’ve never had time really, and when I did, no one to go with.” You explained with a giggle as he pushed you through the doors. The place was dark and it was empty. A lone employee sat in the front and nodded at you as entered.

“Hey, give me a few minutes. Here, go get some tokens.” Baekhyun handed you some cash and turned back to the entrance where the old man working at the counter sat. You watched him curiously for a moment and turned back to use the machine for tokens.

Baekhyun soon returned by your side and you looked at him curiously. He had his facemask and coat off now and was smiling his wide beautiful smile at you.

You hadn’t seen it in a while and you were momentarily struck dumb with how beautiful he actually was.

How in the world did you manage to get tangled up with this guy anyway? Not that you were complaining, he was goddamned gorgeous. Beyond gorgeous. And now you had been staring at him for too long and his smile dropped a bit as he watched you watching him silently and super creepily.

You felt like a weirdo. Again.

But he wasn’t saying anything either.

The two of you stood in the semi-darkness, only illuminated by flashy screens and neon lights, looking at each other in silence. Maybe he was just your kind of weird.

You smiled again and you saw his up eyes look down at your mouth briefly and he smiled back, full and blinding.

“So, what did you tell that guy?” You finally asked. Unable to keep up the silly staring game with him any longer. You didn’t need to fall back into the magnetic pull of Byun Baekhyun’s eyes again.

“I rented out the place for an hour. It’s just easier that way. You know…fans.” He shrugged and you raised your eyebrows in surprise.

“I didn’t know you could rent a place like this,” you said in genuine surprise.

“You’d be surprised what a little money will do.” He smiled and you felt his hand on the small of your back, leading you closer to the tokens machine. You still hadn’t used it yet.

“You know,” he said up close to your ear now. His voice was an octave lower, and the sexy tone it took on wasn’t lost on you. You felt goosebumps on the back of your neck as he spoke.

“We’re all alone in here. He said he was going to go get a coffee. He even locked the door.” Your head whipped around quickly to look at him in surprise.

He was bluffing. He had to be bluffing. There was no way he was this confident right now.

You narrowed your eyes at him now and slowly let your gaze move over his face, finally settling down on his lips. Then you took a step forward and saw him blink and swallow.

Yeah. He was bluffing.

“Well, we do have twenty condoms.” You said in a low voice, while still looking at his lips.

You saw the blush take over his whole face and his mouth dropped open in surprise. You couldn’t contain your laughter anymore and you fell forward clutching your belly.

“You,” you said between laughs, pointing a finger at him, “your face!”

You saw his smile again once he realized you were teasing him.

“Come on, I’m gonna kick your ass at these games,” he said. Now wanting payback for your teasing. You laughed again. If there was one thing you were confident in, it was video games.

“We’ll see who kicks who’s ass.”

Baekhyun was fun.

He was loud and boisterous and he teased you endlessly. He danced and sang randomly and had so much energy you were sure he was putting on a private show just for you. You mostly played games you could compete against him with. Something about his personality just brought that out of you. You wanted to beat him. You needed to win. He needed to lose. What the hell was wrong with you? It was like he had something in him that just made you want to crush his ego and then of course soothe his wounds afterwards. With kisses maybe.

Air hockey was particularly intense with lots of unexpected trash talk, in fact, the more he ran his mouth, the more you wanted to shut him up. You eventually began to play a little dirty.

Like when he was playing the shooting game and you kissed his cheek right when he was about to take his shot. He missed of course.

Of course he didn’t play clean either.

You felt his tongue against your neck at one point when you were trying to concentrate on the archery game.

You still made your shot, which made him groan out loud.

You were both sitting inside one of those racing games that looks like a car inside. He climbed in and patted the seat next to him for you to join him. He had a look in his eyes that told you he thought he had this one in the bag and you scoffed and sat down next to him.

There were no doors but it still felt closed off and strangely intimate. You felt like maybe he had picked you up from your home and was driving you somewhere private for a date. Or maybe for a secret make out session in this very car. You smiled at him cryptically, not letting on about where your thoughts were going.

He was selecting settings in the menu now and wasn’t paying attention to you. You scooted closer to him and looked at his face. He looked extra pretty in this lighting. The screen cast a dreamy blue glow on his skin and you really got a chance to look at him while he was preoccupied with the game. He was driving now and the “car” was tilting with his turns of the steering wheel.

You leaned in closer to him. Drawn to him by his beauty and lightly grazed your lips against his neck. The same place he had licked your neck in the archery game, you felt him chuckle.

“It won’t work. I was expecting you to do that,” he said with his eyes firmly on the game.

Both of his hands gripped the steering wheels tightly and you could see him biting down on his bottom lip in concentration.

You leaned in again. This time you rested the palm of your hand on his thigh for leverage. The game was still tilting all over as he drove.

You opened your mouth now and grasped his earlobe between your teeth lightly, sucking on it and you felt him tilt his head in your direction and moan the tiniest of moans. The sound made you stop and smile. You wanted that sound again. Your lips were still close to his ear.

“Did you like that?” You said it in a low seductive voice and you saw him bite his lip and blink quickly. When you glanced at the screen you saw that the car he was driving had ran off the road a bit, but he brought it back under control.

“It’s not going to work. I’m great at this game.” His confidence was adorable.

“Do you know what I’m great at?” You said in his ear as your hand trailed up on his thigh over his lap. You brushed up against him intimately and you heard a small gasp and his eyes widened.

He ran into the barrier with the car in the game and let up on the gas, trying to recover.

He didn’t. You both watched as the car crashed and flipped a few times and a game over message flashed across the screen.

He looked at you with a pout. An adorable pout that made you want to kiss him.

So you did. You grabbed his face in your hands and pressed your lips up against his. When you pulled back from him his eyes were watching you and you saw the smile he couldn’t hide on his lips.

“So what is it that you’re great at?” He suddenly asked. Alluding to the question you’d asked him before he crashed.

“Drive, Oppa. If you’re good enough at the game maybe you’ll find out.” You said with a suggestive raise of your eyebrow and you saw him open his mouth to speak but close it again quickly. His eyes glanced down to your lips and you saw his teeth as he bit down on his bottom lip. That sexy fucking lip bite that drove you crazy. He did it on purpose. You know he did.

You were going to make him crash this car. And you were going to have fun doing it.

“Okay I’m ready. Do your worst.” He said as he started the game again. His hands gripped the wheel tightly and his eyes were focused on the screen as he started driving again.

Your hand went back down to his thigh and your lips went back to his neck.

He didn’t respond. He just drove.

You smiled into his neck and opened your mouth to bite down lightly with your teeth.

“No marks. The makeup Noona will yell at me,” he casually turned the corner on the game, not even missing the bonus points.

“Hmm, and what about marks in places she can’t see?”

His eyebrows rose slightly in surprise and you saw the grin on his lips.

“I guess that’s fine,” he whispered under his breath and screwed his eyebrows together in concentration as he took a sharp turn. Your hand moved from his thigh over the zipper of his pants and you felt him below the cloth.

You looked up at him in surprise. He was hard. Already. You heard him moan quietly as your hand touched him and you gave him a slight squeeze. His hips moved upward in the direction of your hand and he closed his eyes for a second, running off the road.

He turned the wheel back in time. You felt the seat he was on vibrate a bit but he quickly recovered.

How long had he been hard for? This whole game? Or just when you started kissing his neck and touching him.

You were stroking him now, over his pants and you could hear his breathing getting harder as his dick got harder too.

His driving was getting worse. It was so satisfying.

“Oh don’t tell me you’re going to crash already. Before I’ve even gotten a chance to taste you,” you said into his ear and you saw him grimace and bite down on his teeth. What sounded like a low growl came out of his throat and he pressed on the gas pedal again. Picking his pace back up from where he had let it slip.

He seemed to have recovered from what you told him, although now he was biting down on his lip quite hard as he tried with all his might to drive without crashing.

“I’m not going to crash,” he said mostly to himself and you lowered your head down next to him, slipping your hand under his shirt. You felt the warm skin of his belly and you could feel it moving up and down with his heavy breathing. Your hand found the button of his pants and you pulled down the zipper.

You could see his bulge pressing up against his underwear.

You snuck your fingers below the elastic waistband. You felt warmth and skin and you felt smoothness and his erection. You heard a sound from his mouth as you wrapped your hand around his shaft. To an outsider it may have sounded like you were hurting him. But you knew it was because he was trying with all his might not to crash the car.

You moved his underwear out of the way and you freed his cock as you moved your hand up and down along his length.

“Oh my God, I’m almost ready to give up.” you heard him complain through his gritted teeth. You had moved your lips down close to his cock now and you felt the seat you were in shake and lurch to the side. You couldn’t see the game anymore so you weren’t sure if he was still in control, but it didn’t feel like he was doing very good. You felt the telltale vibrations of him running off the road. He must’ve recovered because the vibrations shopped and you felt the seat dip through a turn.

You kissed the head of his cock lightly and stuck your tongue out along his slit. He was salty. Your ran your tongue around his head, spreading your saliva around as you traveled. Then with your hand you rubbed the wetness down his shaft.

You heard him curse, rather loudly and you half paid attention to the shifting and vibrating seat under you as you heard a crashing sound in the game.

His hands were running through your hair now and you lifted your head to look at him. His eyes were closed and his hands were no where hear the steering wheel. You grinned at the flashing ‘game over’ that flashed across the screen and his eyes opened slowly and he smiled a cute smile of defeat. His nose was wrinkled and he glanced back down at his dick in your hands with a small eyebrow raise and a wink. Asking you to continue.

“So you admit you defeat?” You asked and he quickly nodded his head. Your hand was still stroking him and you felt his hand move back up to your hair and push your head back down to his dick in your hands. You felt his hips pushing upward, into your hand.

“You win. Please don’t stop,” He whined cutely.

“I’m going to get that embroidered on a t-shirt.” You heard his laughter cut off when your mouth sank down on his length, taking him inside your mouth. Your tongue swirled and fluttered against his cock and with your angle at the side of him you couldn’t quite do what you wanted to do with your tongue. You made the most of it by sucking hard on his length as you came back up and swirling your tongue around and around with each pass. You let your saliva trail all over him, suddenly not caring about the mess and wetness that dripped down your fingers and ran down over his balls.

He parted his legs more and shifted and pulled his underwear lower. This new access gave you room to cup his balls with your hand while you sucked on his dick. The sounds he made drove your crazy.

His hands were in your hair, running his long fingers against your scalp and you took him into your mouth again. Deeper this time. You felt him hit the back of your throat and he gripped your hair lightly as he bucked up with his hips. You sucked again, swallowing around him and he was groaning loudly and gripping your hair harder.

You could taste the saltiness of the small drop of wetness at his tip. Your mouth relaxed and you moved up and down his shaft a few times, using your hand as a guide below your mouth, his groans increased and you could feel his hips shaking below your where your arm rested.

“Fuck, I need to cum,” he breathed out and you sank down further on his cock, feeling his hips buck up again and his hands gripped your hair tight.

The spasms around the shaft of his cock preceded the burst of salty liquid that filled the inside of your mouth and ran down the back of your throat. You swallowed quickly as he came, each burst and spasm filled your mouth and went down your throat until he was unmoving below you and his hands relaxed their grip in your hair. You ran your tongue along his head once more, cleaning up any remaining drops of his cum before you released him from your grip and sat up in the seat next to him.

His eyes watched you as you wiped your mouth with the back of your hand. The look in his eyes was dreamy and his cheeks were very pink and flushed, he looked sexy and beautiful. His mouth turned up into a smile as he sat in the aftermath of his orgasm. Breathing hard. Spent. Looking at you now with a sweet look in his eyes.

He suddenly leaned forward and kissed you, pulling you close to him with his hands his tongue swept along your teeth and ran along your own tongue. His kiss was deep and his mouth was needy. Hands roaming over your breasts now you felt a vibration below you, in his coat pocket.

He groaned into your mouth and quickly pulled away from the kiss.

As he pulled his phone out of his pocket and hit the green button his hands went down to close his pants and zip up his fly. He glanced at you as he spoke.

“Yeah hyung, what’s up?” His false casual tone had a thickness to it that you heard and you saw him fighting a smile.

“Actually I am a bit busy.”

“I’m with a friend.”

“No. It’s not anyone you know.”

You saw him groan and close his eyes as the person on the other end of the line seemed to be nagging now.

“Careful? Uhhhh, yes I’m being careful.” He winced and squeezed the bridge of his nose.

You couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped your mouth and his eyes shot open wide at you when you laughed too loud. You heard him cough to hide his own laugh and then his hand flew to your mouth to cover your noisy giggles.

“Okay Hyung, I have to go. I’ll see you tonight at the shoot” he quickly shouted into the phone and ended the call. As he was ending the call you heard a man’s voice still nagging on the line as it was cut off.

Baekhyun’s lips were on yours as soon as the call ended, silencing your giggles with his mouth and tongue and teeth.

“I can’t believe how naughty you are. Suho’s going to yell at me so much tonight,” he said in between kisses.

His head perked up at the sound of the front door unlocking. And when he looked back at you he was frowning.

“I guess our hour is up. I’ll make it up to you soon. I promise.” He pulled you out of the racing game that had become so intimate of a place for you both and pulled you toward the exit quickly. Nodding to the old man who waved as you both left the arcade.

Baekhyun put his facemask back on and his hood up and you noticed he walked with a little bounce in his step. He was obviously in a good mood. You felt his fingers lace between yours he stopped in front of a shop selling bubble teas and looked back at you. You saw him wink and clear his throat before he leaned in close.

“I’m thirsty, thanks to someone. I mean, jeez, twice now in only a few hours, I think you’re trying to kill me.” He pushed the door open and walked inside.

He ordered his tea and pushed you forward to order something. You just got the same as him with a shrug since you didn’t particularly care what you got.

You both waited against the wall of the shop and he was playing with your fingers with that same look in his eyes. The shop attendant called for your order and you went to grab both of them, pulling your hand away forcefully as he tried to hold on.

When you returned with his drink he’d moved to the back of the shop, out of the view of the shop attendant and sat at the table, removing his mask.

“Drink up, we still have twenty condoms to use.”

It took him five minutes to recover from choking on his drink that time.


	5. Chapter 5

It was finals week. You’d been studying and reviewing nonstop for so long you couldn’t even remember what it was like to have a life anymore. Your dreams were clouded with equations and formulas and body parts. Oh god the body parts! Not even the fun external ones but the internal Latin bullshit sounding names that were hard to remember and even harder to say.

Why did you choose to be Pre-Med again? You groaned and kicked your legs in frustration at the heavy text book with the worn cover that you were all too familiar with. You decided that you’d throw it off the bridge when you were done with it. The environment could go to hell, you were fed up.

You heard a buzz. Your phone, which sat face down on the counter of the dry cleaning shop, was blinking now, indicating that you had a new message.

_“Hey beautiful. Miss me? ^_^”_

It was Baekhyun. Beautiful, sexy, tempting Baekhyun who had been gone doing all sorts of overseas schedules and shows for three whole weeks and who, according to fan sites, that you may or may not have checked in with to keep from spamming him with questions about his schedule so you wouldn’t appear too

_needy,_

he was due to be back in Korea this afternoon. But he hadn’t told you he was coming back this afternoon, and you didn’t ask. So unless he just assumed you knew his schedule, which, Pfftt, why the fuck would you know his schedule?!, as far as he was concerned, you didn’t know he was back.

Why hadn’t you talked about it though? He texted you constantly. And every now and then you’d get a whispered phone call from the back of a van as the other members slept, or from under the covers in his hotel room. It was nice. He seemed to legitimately want to talk to you and in all honesty the man was charming as fuck. He was funny and quick with jokes and his beautiful face aside, he was sweet and caring, not to mention ridiculously talented.

So why were you groaning when you read his text?

Because if he was back, you’d probably go out with him and then there would be touching and kissing and sex and you had four finals this week!

You were going to fail.

You would fail because of Baekhyun, the super famous idol and then what? You’d be a college drop out with no money, no family (they would disown you immediately if your GPA dropped below 3.5), no job, no home and then no Baekhyun because he wouldn’t stick around for such a loser. No way. The second you showed up at his door, desolate, hungry, dirty, and looking for a couch to sleep on, because you couldn’t sleep on the cardboard box in that alley that smelled like piss anymore, he would laugh in your face and slam the door.

So you groaned. Not because he texted you; he always texted you, but because you knew he was back. He was the biggest distraction in your life.

He was back with his hair and his eyes and his fucking lips and fucking hell, his dick was probably back too. Oh god. You’d forgotten about his dick. You tried not to think too much about it. It was nice. It was lovely and it felt amazing and how long had it been since you’d felt him inside you? Ugh.

_“I literally just spoke with you last night.”_

Your reply was neutral. Careful not to let on that, yes, you did miss him. And yes, you spent 3 hours yesterday with your bio book in your lap and your laptop screen open to a Google image search that displayed results for “Baekhyun gifs” because you missed him so badly a simple picture wouldn’t suffice, you needed to see movement.

_“But did you miss me? I missed you. ㅜㅅㅜ”_

He was going to make you engage him. You felt the sigh deep in your chest as it rocked through your body.

_“I’m studying for my finals.”_

Hopefully he would get the message. He knew you had finals this week. You told him already. Your phone buzzed.

_“ㅠㅡㅠ I knew you didn’t miss me.”_

You didn’t reply. He would get over it. He was just being dramatic. If there was anything you learned very quickly about Byun Baekhyun was that he was serious only about 2% of the time, and he had a fondness for being dramatic.

You heard your phone buzz again and you picked it up quickly, your temper flaring for a moment. You saw a text from him with a picture and you quickly opened it, wondering if you’d get to see his pretty face. Sure, you’d seen plenty of it yesterday but the idea of him sending a picture that was meant only for your eyes made your stomach flip.

It was a picture. But it was not his face, you saw his belly and his pretty fingertips pinching the soft flesh on his belly with a message below it.

_“I knew you were just using me for my body. ㅜㅡㅜ”_

You laughed. Of course you laughed, the man was ridiculous.

_“Are you going to take my finals for me?”_

That message seemed to silence him as your phone went quiet. You continued reviewing your notes in peace, occasionally interrupted when a customer would come in to pick up their clothes or drop some off, but your afternoon of studying was going well.

You rubbed your neck, feeling the fatigue from your intensive efforts and you heard the door chime as someone walked in. You didn’t look up right away and when you did your eyes widened to see a familiar handsome smiling face looking at you. You stared at Baekhyun in surprise for a bit too long and you saw his eyebrows tick upward and he shook his head a bit at your dumbfounded reaction.

“Aren’t you going to say hi? Or at the very least you could welcome me as a customer.” You saw that he held something in his hands. A plastic bag that held a soiled garment.

Was he doing this again? You wondered if the shirt was even dirty before he had the idea to come into the shop with it.

“What is it this time? Mustard? Jjajang sauce? The tears of a thousand fan girls?”

You heard him laugh and he tossed the bag onto the counter in your direction. You opened the bag and pulled out the shirt. It was chocolate sauce again.

“Baekhyun.” You said with a scolding tone as you shook your head.

“This is from the same bottle of chocolate sauce isn’t it? Do you just keep it your car now?” You touched the stain and felt wetness in it. He didn’t even try a new trick, you were a bit disappointed at his unoriginality.

“I missed you.” You heard him exhale the words in a single breath as he spoke and his voice was soft. When you looked up into his face his smile was gone and his eyes looked serious. You felt the blush creep up your face at his sudden seriousness of his expression.

This was it, this was one of his rare serious moments that snuck up on you and knocked you off your feet. You lost your breath for a moment as he looked at you.

You looked down, away from his intense eyes and you sighed, wincing at the audible tremble in your exhale.

“I-I missed you too Baekhyun Oppa.” You whispered out sheepishly. Suddenly uncomfortable with the feelings you’d been trying to conceal.

You looked up in time to see him moving as he made his way behind the counter toward you.

“Baekhyun, you’re not supposed to be back here, what if someone comes in.” You heard the nervous tone in your voice. He didn’t stop his movement. Hell, he didn’t even slow his steps down at all.

“I missed you,” he said as he reached for you. His hands grabbed your face and his lips descended on yours. The feel of his lips was surprising and familiar all at the same time. He tasted like Baekhyun, his tongue moved like Baekhyun’s did and he kissed you with the same needy intensity that felt so right and familiar. You immediately felt yourself respond to him. You realized in that moment just how much you had missed this. Missed his lips on yours. Missed his tongue and his teeth and his warm breath that puffed in your mouth. His hands moved to your hair and his head tilted to deepen the kiss and you stumbled back as he leaned possessively over you and his hand moved down to the small of your back, pulling you close against his warmth.

The action sent a jolt through your body and you responded with your hands on him, over him, roaming hungrily over his chest and down to find the hem of his shirt. You slipped your fingers below the fabric and felt his warm smooth skin of his lower belly, above the waist band of his jeans. His hand shot down to grip your hand with force and he pulled away from the kiss holding your offending hand tightly in his grip. His eyes were dark, his pupils blown out, and his breathing was fast and shallow.

His eyes searched your face for a moment, blinking rapidly as if trying to break the spell. With a small groan of defeat you saw him lean in and you felt his lips brush against your neck lightly as he inhaled deeply against your skin.

“Do you have like a lunch break or something?” His whisper was low and dangerous in your ear and you knew he was feeling just as wrecked as you were right now. You nodded your head cryptically and lightly pushed against him so he backed up a bit. You slipped your hand out of his and his eyes followed you as you walked to the front door, turned the lock, and flipped over the open sign to closed.

When you turned back to look at him he had a smirk on his face. It was the kind of confident smirk that sparked something inside you. What was he smirking about? Did he think he had won something here?

“What?” You said with your arms across your chest.

His smirk vanished instantly as if he had been caught and needed to backtrack to avoid getting into trouble. You could still see the triumph in his eyes though.

“What what?” He repeated back at you, clearly trying to confuse you now and you rolled your eyes at his sad attempt.

“What was that look? Did you come here with this in mind?” You took a step closer to him. He’d walked out from behind the counter now and was standing with his hands limply at his side as he watched you come closer to him.

“I actually just came here to say hi and to tell you that I missed you, but you seem to be locking me inside another room.” You saw one of his eyebrows tick upward as he reminded you of the first time you locked him inside a room.

“First of all, this isn’t a room, it’s a place of business,” you said and you saw the corners of his mouth twitch upward. He was fighting his smile as he patiently waited for you to be done with your little speech.

“Second of all?” He prompted when you got distracted by staring at his pretty face in front of you. You took another step, closing the gap between where he stood and where you stood and you grabbed his hand and pulled him with you, urging him to follow.

“Second of all,” you began as you dragged him across the shop to the stairs that led to your apartment door. The place in which you lived with your mom and dad who you knew wouldn’t be back until that evening.

“Secondly, I can’t fucking believe you have the nerve to show up here when you knew I was studying for my finals! Byun Baekhyun I’m going to kick your ass!” While you didn’t really intend to hurt him…much, you did intend to take out your frustrations on him.

You heard his loud laughter break behind you as he followed you up the stairs. You turned around once inside your place and circled him as you pushed him into your bedroom, closing the door behind you with a loud click. His head whirled around as he surveyed his current location with mild shock and confusion in his eyes.

When he turned around to face you, you saw that his smirk was back.

“Did you bring me in here to teach me a lesson?” His voice was playful and his smile was telling. He wasn’t the least bit sorry for interrupting your studying. For jeopardizing your future. For threatening to render you desolate and homeless.

“That depends. Are you sorry for interrupting my studying?” You took a step closer to him and you saw his eyes dart down and glance at your feet as you closed in on him.

You saw his smile grow wider.

“Not even a little bit,” he said with a cute nose wrinkle and a wink.

It was the wink that did it. You felt the weeks of frustration from missing him rise up to the surface and you moved on him, crashing your lips to his. You must’ve surprised him when you moved so quickly because he gasped and froze for a second before his arms wrapped around you and pulled you back as he stumbled and fell onto your bed behind him. You heard him grunt out in pain and you remembered that you left a text book on your bed.

He must’ve fallen on it because you saw him pull away from the kiss and lift his shoulder as he pulled the big heavy book out and dropped it on the floor.

“I think you’re trying to kill me,” he growled from below you. You moved to straddle him now and he sat up and swiftly pulled your shirt off over your head.

Of course you were wearing a pretty bra today. Today was the day Baekhyun was coming back to Korea. You HAD to wear a pretty bra. It was red and lacy and it pushed your boobs up in just the right way. His eyes widened as he looked at it and his hands moved to cup your breasts over the fabric.

“You are. You’re trying to kill me.” He leaned forward and his mouth was kissing your flesh as his fingers snaked around your back to unclasp it. He pulled it off and you frowned at how little he actually got to enjoy it before he’d taken it off. His mouth opened over one of your nipples before you had too much time to dwell on it.

You moved your hips over his lap and you could feel his arousal pressing up against you and you felt him groan as you moved and his breathing became faster and heavier. After the long absence, you felt the need. The urgency was overwhelming and his hands were pulling at your jeans, trying without any success to get them off. You were still on top of him, what was he even trying to do here?

You quickly hopped off of him and stood next to the bed undressing completely. He stared at you in wonder for a minute, unmoving.

“Baek, clothes!” You said in a rushed whisper and his eyes widened and he quickly got up and stripped. You felt his hands on you where you stood and you pushed him hard back down onto the bed. He landed with a grunt and you climbed back on him and sat over his lap. Over his very stiff erection that was practically begging for attention.

“Oh god you’re so wet,” he said as he threw his head back and closed his eyes, rubbing himself up and down your wetness. You slid yourself around, still sitting down close enough to him so that he couldn’t enter you. His hands gripped into your thighs and you felt him push his hips upward, needing to to feel you around him. He was waiting for it. Asking for it with his movements and you suddenly sat still over him. You felt a twitch below you that rubbed against your clit.

He noticed when you stopped moving and his eyes opened to look at you.

You narrowed your eyes and rubbed against him again and you saw his mouth clench and a hiss came out from between his pretty lips.

“Why are you teasing?” He finally realized what was happening and his whine was desperate.

“Baby it’s been so fucking long, I need you.” You watched him and felt his fingers dig into your thighs again, harder this time. You tightened the grip of your thighs around his waist and you heard him groan in protest.

“What? What’s wrong?” He said through wide eyes and you smiled sweetly at him as you bit down on your lip and wiggled again. He wasn’t enjoying the teasing nearly as much as you were.

“Oh fuck! Why? What did I do?” His voice rose an octave, the desperation evident and making him quickly lose his cool.

“Baekhyun, are you sorry for interrupting my studying?” You asked as you wiggled again, rubbing your wetness over him more without reaching the tip of his cock.

“Is that it? I missed you so much that I had to come see you and I’m being punished for that?” He complained loudly. He was stubborn. He didn’t think he did anything wrong.

“What will you do if I fail a test, Baekhyun?” You asked and he groaned and tightened his grip on your legs. You’d probably find bruises later but you didn’t care. This was fun. Baekhyun was your hostage right now and you enjoyed teasing him almost as much as you enjoyed fucking him.

“Please, just let me cum and you can go back to studying.”

“But are you even sorry?” His eyes opened wide and his lips closed tightly. Refusing to apologize now. He reminded you of a petulant child lost in a tantrum. Convinced he was right and unbending.

So you shrugged and swung your leg off him, hopping quickly off the bed. His eyes went wide as saucers when he saw you move and he quickly reached for you, grasping at your arm with his fingertips.

“I’m sorry!” He said quickly and desperately.

“I’m sorry. I was wrong, I should’ve respected your request for time to study but I missed you and I was thinking with my dick, I’m sorry baby please don’t leave me like this. It hurts.” You turned to look back at him with a smile on your face and his eyes glanced down at your lips. Recognizing that you were enjoying this. Enjoying the little punishment you were dishing out and you saw a flash of something in his eyes. Something there behind his desperate pleas looked just a touch dangerous. But as quickly as it appeared it was gone.

Because his dick was too hard and it had been too long for him so he kept his mouth shut.

“How will you make it up to me Baekhyun?” You grabbed his dick in your hand and squeezed him lightly. His eyes closed and he groaned loudly as you touched him.

“I’ll help you study! After this I’ll help you, I promise.” He was talking fast and you smiled as you pushed him down onto the bed again, satisfied that maybe he had learned his lesson.

This time when you straddled him you hovered just over him and grasped his cock as you lined him up and sank down onto his length.

The whiney moan that left his lips was sinful. He was right. It had been a long time and you felt the stretch as you adjusted to him inside you. You lifted off of him and sank down again and you heard a growl from his lips as he sat up and wrapped his arms around your waist. You suddenly felt yourself rolling over and you found yourself under him. His arms on either side of you, holding you down and his dick firmly inside you with strong legs holding himself there.

“Did you enjoy your little game?” His eyes flashed at you again. That dangerous look you had seen when you were teasing him.

He was still inside you and his hips pulled out quickly and pushed back inside fast and hard. You cried out, you hadn’t expected it and your eyes opened to find him watching you closely with a smirk as he did it again. His hard eyes watching as he dished out his own punishment for what you had done to him. For your teasing that you enjoyed so much and he didn’t seem to appreciate one bit. Something inside you pulsed. A new kind of excitement that you hadn’t experienced before. This man was turning you on in ways you never even considered.

Your fingernails gripped into his forearms hard and he pulled out again, slamming inside harder and you felt yourself lurch up higher on the bed. It was painful, but somewhere within that pain came an unbelievable pleasure that you’d never experienced before. You could feel yourself quickly getting lost in the sensations. His pace quickened and soon your cries were mingled with his groans as he fucked you hard into the bed. With his pounding against you inside and you felt a pressure building. You knew you were going to cum. Another pound and the wave burst over you as you cried out and tightened all over your body. You trembled below him as you squeezed on his cock and you heard a loud moan as he quickly pulled out and came over your belly in hot spurts as he gasped with each spasm until the last drop dripped over you. His eyes feasted on the sight before him and his dark eyes looked up into yours.

He landed with a hard thud on the bed next to you. His breathing was hard and matched yours. You were both silent for a long while, just breathing and calming down and finally his eyes opened and he lifted his head to look at you.

“Did I hurt you?” His voice was thick and low. And he scooted closer to you on the bed. You smiled and shook your head.

“Nope. I’m great,” you said with a wide smile and he laughed with an exhale that sounded relieved.

You allowed a few more minutes of laying with him in the comfort of your bed. His eyes were sweet. His lips leaving kisses on your skin and his fingers trailed over your hips. Lightly tickling in their exploration, you would giggle and squirm when he did it and he would smile and do it again. Eventually his hands found your hand, playing with your short stubby fingers with his long pretty ones.

“How can your hands be so pretty?” You asked quietly and he looked closer at your hands.

“I like yours.” He said, and strangely, something in his voice made you believe him.

“Why?” You asked, feeling too relaxed to want to get up and go back to work downstairs. You felt like staying here with him all night.

“Because they’re yours.” He said with a shrug and your eyes widened a hair at his words.

“I have to go back down stairs.” You knew you were pouting and he nodded as he got up and got dressed.

You’d expected him to leave once you headed down stairs and opened the shop back up but instead you watched curiously as he pulled a stool up to the counter and plopped himself down opposite to where you sat on your stool with your books and notes. He picked up one of your books and began reading through the page that was open.

“What are you doing?”

You saw him smile and shrug.

“Duh, helping you study. Do you want me to quiz you?” He said it so damn casually you nearly forgot that he was a super famous celebrity sitting across from you reading through your text book with raised eyebrows and a slight frown on his face now.

“You don’t have to leave?” You asked and he shook his head.

“I said I’d help you study. I promised remember. I always keep my promises, whether I make them when my dick is hard or not.” He grumbled the last sentence with a hint of annoyance and you laughed out loud.

So Baekhyun helped you study. He was encouraging and happy when you got the answers right, which you did for most of them and by the end he was no longer surprised when you were right through the entire second half of the sample test questions.

“Woooow, my baby’s so smart! I knew there was a reason I liked you.” He said when you’d scored a perfect score and he leaned over to kiss you sweetly on the lips.

You half paid attention to the door chime, but he heard it and quickly turned his back to the door, reaching inside his pocket for his mask.

You looked up to greet your customer and found the wide surprised eyes of your best friend Minah. She was staring at you, and at the back of the man standing behind the counter next to you with his back facing her, who she was glaring at suspiciously because she had totally just seen him kiss you.

“M-Minah!” You said in your most casual sounding tone. But with the stutter, it wasn’t very convincing. She knew you well and she heard the guilt behind your voice.

“So is this the 15?” She suddenly asked as she stepped closer and you saw Baekhyun turn around where he stood to face her.

You were frozen. You couldn’t fool her. You never could and she could probably even smell the sex on you both. I mean you’d been all over each other for about two hours now. You knew your lips were swollen from all the kisses too.

“Ahh so you’re Minah?” You heard Baekhyun speak up from behind his mask.

“Yeah. I’m Minah. Who the hell are you?”


	6. Chapter 6

“Yeah. I’m Minah. Who the hell are you?”

Minah stared at the mask covered man standing next to you. Baekhyun wasn’t speaking and the silence was starting to go into the awkward territory so you suddenly felt a need to speak up. But what could you say? You couldn’t tell her who he really was, it was too risky.

Even though Minah was your best friend you still didn’t know how she might react. Or who she may accidently tell. Plus if Baekhyun wasn’t the one to tell her his identity, was it really even your secret to tell?

So you panicked.

“Minah, this is Hyunbaek.” You heard him make a noise next to you from behind the mask. It sounded like a snort of laughter covered quickly with a loud throat clearing.

“He’s my…” You began but trailed off. What was he to you? You couldn’t exactly say he was your boyfriend could you. You had never even discussed it with him.

“Friend.” 

You finished your thought with a false bravado in place on your face and you risked a glance at Baekhyun who was watching you with unreadable eyes. There was a tense stare down for a moment but he eventually looked away. As his eyes looked away you noticed the tips of his ears were red and you really wished you could see his face to read his reaction a little better.

He was just a friend right? You nervously chewed on the inside of your lip as you contemplated. Honestly, how much did you even know about him. Being such a desirable celebrity, his dating prospects had to be off the charts and you didn’t even know if he was seeing you exclusively. You’d never even had the guts to ask. Of course you weren’t seeing anyone else. As if. You hardly even had time to see Baekhyun without immediately failing all of your classes.

“Hyunbaek?” Minah asked, a touch of doubt in her voice.

“Why is he wearing that mask?” She said. Her arms were firmly crossed over her chest as she spoke to you in her best I don’t believe a word out of your mouth, you lying liar voice.

“My throat felt scratchy this morning, I didn’t want to get anyone sick.” He spoke up next to you, sounding so completely obviously like Byun Baekhyun that you winced at the obviousness of it all.

“That’s not a sick person mask. That’s a permanent, keep it in my pocket, purchased with a specific intent, fancy ass, hide my face, mask that’s used daily. So unless you have like, chronic tuberculosis, then I don’t believe you were simply feeling a little sick.”

Her eyebrows were up. Her head was cocked to the side and her sass was out in full force.

“Minah.” You said in a firm warning tone and she glanced at you. Her face softened just a touch when she looked at you.

Baekhyun turned to you and you felt his hand rub your back as he leaned in and whispered close to your ear.

“I should probably go,” he said.

“Minah, it was a pleasure to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you.” You could hear the forced politeness in his voice and you could tell he was trying to lay the charm on thick. Knowing Minah, she wouldn’t fall for it. She was much too cynical and without even being able to see his face she wouldn’t be very likely to fall for his charms.

“I wish I could say the same, unfortunately I haven’t heard a thing about you Hyunbaek. I hope I get to hear more,” she grumbled and bowed in his direction.

He was out the door quickly and before the door clanged shut and the chime ceased it’s echoing noise in your ears she was already glaring at you.

Her judging eyes were back on you and she descended on you, crowding your space. Obviously about to milk you for information.

“Dude,” she said. You looked down at your notes, pretending to be immersed in studying.

“Dude, what the fuck? I saw him kiss you, are you sleeping with him? I can’t believe you didn’t fucking tell me a thing about this. Who is he? Why does he hide his face? Come on, spill it?”

She was excellent at getting information out of you. But not this. This was too big for you to tell. And it wasn’t even your secret to tell. You sealed the vault, vowing to be strong against her. So you just sighed and went back to your notes. She wouldn’t crack you. Not a chance.

She eventually gave up. After about an hour of begging, pleading, bargaining and threatening. All she got was that he was Hyunbaek, and that, yes, you were kind of, sort of, I don’t know, seeing each other, maybe.

“Well why haven’t I heard anything about him since that first time you met him? Where has he been for the last month?” She was sharp, and her memory was good.

“He was working. He just got back into town.” You tried to answer her questions with as little actual details as possible while still trying to be as honest with your best friend as you could.

It was a fine line of truth and deception that had you feeling apprehensive and guilty the further you went.

Your head perked up the sound of the door chime.

It was a day courier. The kind that delivers same day parcels and envelopes for a small fortune in fees. He rushed up to the counter and handed you an envelope in your name. You signed for it and Minah glanced at you as you opened it.

It was a pair of tickets for the EXO show tomorrow night at the Dome. The big time show where they were headlining and crying fan girls were paying thousands of dollars for tickets so they could fawn over their Oppas.

The tickets came with a small note that you read quickly as you hid it inside the palm of your hand.

You need a break. I know you will pass your tests.   
Please come, for me?

Your “Friend”

-B

P.S. Do you sleep with all of your friends?

So he did notice. You could practically hear the sass in his final sentence. What did this mean? There was no way he was actually interested in a relationship with you right?

Your mind flashed to the memory of laying in your bed with him, legs intertwined, sweaty, breathing hard, touching each other in the afterglow of the sex you’d just had. There was something in his touches and in his gentle kisses. Something sweet, possessive and wanting. Something that scared you. Because this was Byun Baekhyun you were talking about. He was supposed to be unobtainable. Or at the very least he was supposed to be long gone already. Moving on to the next girl he could woo and bed. But here he was, sending you text messages all day long with sweet words of longing and cute faces and fucking heart emojis all over the place. And coming to visit you when he was back in town. Mere hours after he got back. As if he’d somehow rushed over to you right out of the airport, just to tell you that he missed you.

You crumbled up the note quickly and stuffed it inside your pocket before Minah had a chance to read it, but she looked curiously at the tickets that sat on the counter.

“Wait, are those..” You heard a loud gasp.

“Oh my god are those tickets for the EXO concert? Holy shit!” She looked so excited. Minah was a huge EXO fan, and that was part of the reason why you hadn’t told her yet. She had no chill when it came to EXO.

“Oww!” You screamed as she slapped your arm in excitement.

“Please tell me you’re taking me with you!” She howled and you laughed at her excitement.

“Of course I’m taking you, who else would I take?”

“Oh thank god, I thought you were going with Hyunbaek.” She said while clutching at her chest in relief.

You laughed a bit too hard at that one.

With a buzz of excitement you both forced yourselves to get back to your studies and crammed as much in as you could stand, vowing to work extra hard to make up for missing any study time during tomorrow’s concert.

Baekhyun was right. You did need a break. And the opportunity to see him performing tomorrow was just too good to pass up.

The time seemed to be crawling by the next day. There was a humming inside you, a nervous energy as you and Minah got ready for the show. She had a few EXO shirts and you eyed the shirt that said Baekhyun on it with a kind of embarrassed hopefulness in your eyes. When it came time for her to pick her shirt you silently prayed she would pick anything but that one.

You had to wear it. You couldn’t even imagine what might happen if you showed up tonight wearing a Chanyeol or a D.O. shirt and he noticed it. His brain would probably explode right on stage, breaking thousands of hearts in the process.

Minah put on the Chanyeol shirt. You sighed in concealed relief and grabbed the Baekhyun shirt as casually as you could.

“You sure you don’t want D.O.?” She lifted it up and you shook your head as you pulled the shirt over your head.

“Nah, It doesn’t even matter. Let’s just go.” Your casual voice sounded so fake and forced to you. She just shrugged and followed you out.

At the venue the crowds were insane. Thousands upon thousands of squealing fangirls and fanboys, wearing all sorts of EXO merchandise, holding signs with messages and names of the members. You glanced around curiously finding all of the Baekhyun signs. You couldn’t help yourself. His name just popped out at you everywhere you looked. His popularity was staggering.

Your hands felt a bit empty without a sign or a light stick so you headed to the merch counter to buy something to hold. .

$55 dollars later, you were the proud owner of your little flashing hunk of plastic that made you feel a little bit more like you belonged here amongst the throws of fans. But you were a casual fan at best. An imposter wearing a borrowed EXO shirt. You felt just a little dirty.

The doors opened and you and Minah made your way to your seats. You hadn’t paid too much attention to the tickets but you and Minah walked and walked through the venue, getting closer and closer to the stage until the usher motioned for you both to sit in the front row. Right smack in front of the stage. Within spitting distance of where the members would be. Within eye contact distance of where Baekhyun would be in just a few minutes.

“Dude, who’s dick did you have to suck to get these fucking seats!?” Minah said way too loudly and you groaned and winced at her choice of words. Your memory suddenly flashed back to the arcade game and if the lighting had been better in the room, she would’ve seen your blush. Fucking Minah.

The lights dimmed, the crowd screamed, and the tension and excitement in the venue reached an all time high as the show started.

“They were a gift from Hyunbaek,” You said to Minah, thinking there couldn’t be any harm in that admission and she just looked at you with wide surprised eyes. The crowd was loud and the music was starting so you didn’t hear her response and soon she had forgotten all about you as the show started.

The start of the show was loud and explosive. The energy was insane and you found yourself excitedly dancing and singing along to the songs you knew. You at least knew the choruses of the songs so you didn’t feel too much like a faker.

Of course your eyes were on Baekhyun. He was magical on stage. His dancing was on point and his hip thrusts were sinful. Something in his dancing brought back more memories of yesterday in your room and you found yourself staring a bit too closely at his every move. They played song after song before they stopped to talk to the audience for the first ment.

Baekhyun must have selected your seats with the intention of you being seated on his side of the stage because he was standing close to where you and Minah sat. You made eye contact with him and you saw him smile and wave. He quickly waved around at other fans too but you saw his eyes move back to yours over and over. You saw him wink and watch you for a moment as the other members were speaking.

“Dude, am I imagining things or is Baekhyun looking at you? But like staring at you?” Minah said loudly in your ear, trying to speak above the noise in the arena. 

You felt your blush heat up your face. Of course she was right, he was still looking at you. Even though his eyes would wander around the crowd he always went back to you and eventually his staring was becoming a little bit too much if even Minah noticed it.

You looked back at him and you saw him smile and pull at his shirt, his eyes glancing down and pointing at your own shirt that said his name.

“Aww he thinks you’re his fan,” Minah said in your ear and you shrugged and nodded.

“Yeah that must be it.” You said as casually as you could.

Thankfully the first ment ended and the concert progressed before Minah noticed anything else. Plus it wasn’t exactly a connection to be made easily. You and Baekhyun. Yeah right. It was laughable really.

The end of the show came too quickly and the last song had the members running around close to the crowd. They were waving, throwing hearts, and passing out flowers.

You could see him coming your way. Baekhyun was running and reaching his hands out to touch the fans as he made his way and you saw him carrying something in his hand.

When he reached your spot you saw him kiss a rose in his hand and toss it to you quickly as he ran by and by instinct you reached out and caught it. You could hear Minah squealing in excitement next to you.

“Oh my god! He totally kissed that before he gave it to you!” She was jumping up and down excitedly and you tried to contain your excited grin.

“Do you think he likes you? I mean what are the odds right? I saw him watching you a lot.” She kept talking loudly in your ear and you noticed the members waving goodbye to the crowd and saying their final messages. Baekhyun was standing close to you again and you saw him catch your eye. Then you caught a small wink. It was a tiny wink and his smile illuminated his face as he waved goodbye to the crowd. Right before he turned back to run back stage you saw him lift his hand up to his mouth and blow a kiss right at you. It was a tiny gesture and his eyes were on yours once again.

“Dude,” Minah slapped your arm. “No matter now impossible it seems I really think he likes you! Did you see that wink? And then the fucking kiss?” Her eyes were wide and her face had changed from the excited happy face she had during the concert. Her eyes narrowed at you and she stared at your face for a long time.

Then you heard a loud inhaling gasp and she reached a hand back and slapped you hard across the back. You screamed out in pain.

“Oh my god! You asshole!” She screamed and your eyes widened in shock.

“Hyunbaek?! Really? Hyun Baek!? Are you fucking…that was Baekhyun??! Thats how you got these seats!? On my God! The fucking face mask and everything!”

You picked up the pace as you exited the arena, walking fast and avoiding Minah’s rapid fire questions behind you. Maybe you could simply plead the fifth and escape her interrogation and wild jumps to conclusions.

Although you had to admit, she had solved it pretty quickly.

But Baekhyun had been rather obvious tonight. You’d have to nag him about that later.

On the way home you rolled your eyes, sighed loudly and tried to be as casual as possible as you feigned innocence and denied any such possibility that THE Byun Baekhyun and you could possibly be involved in any way.

She didn’t buy it but eventually gave up. She was tired from the concert and just didn’t have any fight in her by the time she went home.

You were keyed up from the show and you pulled out your phone to message Baekhyun and congratulate him on a show well done. When you unlocked your screen you saw a message waiting from him already.

“Hey friend. Can I come see you tonight?”

He still hadn’t dropped the friend thing.

“Only if you can make it before I go to sleep.” You replied, expecting him to stick around for a long time at the venue after the show. You doubted he’d actually be able to sneak away so soon.

You hopped in the shower quickly, cleaning the sweat and grime from the show off your skin and washing your hair and as you stepped out you heard your phone buzz against the counter.

“Please tell me you’re still awake.” His message lacked his usual silly faces this time and you raised an eyebrow.

“I’m awake, just getting out of the shower.” You towel dried your hair and wrapped your robe around yourself as you headed toward your bedroom.

“Can I see you? I’m outside.” That one surprised you. You thought for sure he wouldn’t be able to make it over so soon after the show. You glanced at the time and saw that it was late enough that your parents should be sound asleep by now.

Should you let him in? You’d never done anything like this. Sneaking a boy inside as your parents slept. You had to be crazy because you put down your towel and pulled your robe tight around you as you quietly made your way down stairs to the side door that you knew you could open without a sound. 

You pushed the door open and peeked your head out and you saw him standing against the wall in his coat and mask.

“Baekhyun” you said in a whisper in his direction and his head whirled around at the sound of your voice. You saw the recognition in his eyes and they betrayed the smile that was hidden behind his mask.

He padded over to the door and you opened it just enough for him to slip inside.

It was dark inside the closed dry cleaning shop you knew so well and the street lights outside shined through the glass windows, blanketing you both in a soft glow.

When he took off his mask you took a moment to stare at his pretty face and he seemed to be watching you in a sort of silent admiration. His eyes roamed over your face and landed up on your hair as his lips pulled into a small grin, his hand moved to touch your hair.

“You’re all wet,” he said and his eyes moved down to your short robe. You saw his smile fall and he bit down on his bottom lip. It wasn’t his usual sexy lip bite that was designed to make your heart flutter. No, this was different. It almost seemed like an involuntary response to seeing you in your current state.

“I forgot everything I was going to say to you now. Shit, where are your clothes?” You felt his hand reach out for you and he ran his fingertips too slowly over the thin fabric of your robe, sending goosebumps over your skin underneath.

“I told you, I just got out of the shower,” you said quietly and he nodded in understanding. Or maybe it was agreement. His eyes seemed a bit dazed and unfocused now.

He suddenly cleared his throat and blinked a few times as his eyes found yours and he smiled again. Shaking away whatever thoughts he had been having.

“Did you enjoy the concert?” He nervously scratched at the back of his neck as he spoke and you saw him rock back and forth on his feet. Why was he suddenly nervous?

Something about him seemed off tonight, yet you nodded with a wide smile in response.

“You were so awesome tonight Baekhyun!” You could hear your own excitement in your voice and you saw his eyes flip to yours and his cheeks seemed to darken a shade.

“Just me? What about the other members?”

It was your turn to blush now. Honestly you had no idea how any of the others did. He was the only one you looked at. You hadn’t even realized it until now, but your eyes had stayed glued on Baekhyun the whole time.

“Uhh, I don’t know. I guess they were okay.”

You couldn’t tell him that you had no idea what anyone else did because you couldn’t manage to pry your eyes off of him for the entire two hour show.

How desperate could you be? This beautiful guy who you probably liked a lot more than he could possibly like you and who would probably end up stomping all over your heart if you dared to let him get too close. You suddenly felt the very real danger in what you were doing here.

The danger of Byun Baekhyun.

He was too busy. He was famous. He was an idol. He could never give himself completely to you. He’d always be gone and you’d spend a lifetime missing him. Not to mention the hordes of women who were in love with him, throwing themselves at him. Fighting over him. Women who would rip you to pieces if given a chance.

How could you have been this stupid?

Not only was he too big of a distraction from your studies, but he was bound to get sick of you pretty quickly and move on. Leaving you crushed and broken. Cynical and disgusted with yourself for not protecting your heart better.

Baekhyun was looking at you now. His eyes wide and you saw a tiny smile at the corner of his lips.

“You guess they were okay? Don’t tell me you only looked at me the entire show.” His playful teasing voice was back and you saw him take a small step closer to you. His eyes were lit with amusement and you felt your face heat up as you nervously chewed on the inside of your lip, trying to think of some way to change the subject so you didn’t have to confess to only having eyes for Byun Baekhyun.

“Uhh..m-my parents are upstairs asleep and I have an early study date tomorrow morning before my afternoon final, so may-maybe..” You scrambled for your words and you saw his eyes wander over your body and you felt a warm hand reach for your waist. Long fingers tickled their way over the smooth fabric of your thin robe and his hot palm rested low, just above your ass. He took another step and you were way too close to him now. Wearing much too little. You felt your skin prickle under your robe and your heart was beating hard in your chest. The deafening thumping echoed inside your ears. As he moved closer you smelled the faint scent of alcohol on him. Did he drink after the concert? He didn’t seem drunk. He felt just a little bit different than usual.

You felt his warmth at your face. His soft lips brushed against your cheek as they made their way to whisper into your ear.

“I couldn’t stop looking at you either. You looked so fucking cute wearing my name on your shirt.” You could feel his hand moving lower, over your ass and his fingertips found the bottom hem of your robe and he touched the skin of your upper thigh under the fabric. His other hand soon joined in the exploration and you wondered how you’d ever find it in yourself to resist Baekhyun’s beautiful hands.

“It’s not my shirt. I borrowed it for the show. I’m a poser and a faker. I’m a pseudo-fan.” You felt the confession slip from your lips and you heard a small chuckle from his mouth as he moved closer to you and you felt him pull you up against him. He was hard. You felt him press himself against you and his lips were at your neck, kissing the sensitive skin below your ear.

“Good. I don’t date fans.” He said in between kisses and you froze.

Date?

You felt your stomach drop. No. You weren’t dating him. He wasn’t dating you. You were just friends. You weren’t ready for this. Dating someone like Byun Baekhyun was a sure way to get hurt.

“Date?” You said, unable to help yourself now. You were also unable to help your tone, which sounded just a bit disbelieving of the term you’d heard him throw out so easily. You felt him sigh against your skin. He’d stopped kissing your neck and his head lifted as he looked in your eyes.

“Are you denying what’s going on here?” He said with a bit of a sassy tone and a rare serious look in his eyes and your mouth fell open at his words.

Did he just decide for you that you were dating? Without ever asking you?

“We-We’re friends. I’m n-not ready for a relationship.” You felt the nerves take your words and jumble them around inside your mouth. You hated it. It made you sound like a scared little girl.

“But I don’t want to be your friend.” He said and you could see his eyes darken as the words came out. Had he always been this pushy? Was it just the alcohol or was he genuinely used to just getting what he wanted?

“Baekhyun.” You said quietly. As if saying his name would somehow convince him to see things from your side. You could feel a weird tension in the air building the longer he looked at you with that dark look in his eyes. The more you looked at him the more you noticed the dark circles below his pretty eyes. The leftover smudges of eyeliner from the concert. The smell of alcohol on his breath as he breathed close to you.

“I have an early day tomorrow, my friend is coming early to study, and you’re probably tired from the concert,” you began, making your voice sound as rational as possible.

“Guy friend or girl friend?” He cut you off suddenly and you felt your scoff leave your lips before you could stop it.

“Guy. What does that matter?” You couldn’t even have stopped the confrontational tone even if you tried.

“Are you fucking him too?” His question hit you like a slap in the face.

You saw the pink blush cover his cheeks once he’d said it and you felt your own temper rise as you took a step back, out of his arms. He gripped the fabric of your robe briefly as you moved and you pulled hard against the material, freeing yourself entirely from his fingers. His eyes hardened and he clenched his jaw upon your escape from him.

You were mad. Of course you were mad. You could feel the anger bubbling up inside you. That he would dare to say such a thing. Dare to think that about you. You were reminded once again of how little you actually knew him and you were struck with how little he seemed to think of you.

With your arms crossed over your body now and unable to help the glare you threw in his direction you saw his expression change and soften now.

You saw the regret fill his eyes and he opened his mouth to speak but seemed to get his words stuck in his throat.

“Shit. I-I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.” He finally said quietly as he angled his face down, seemingly unable to look you in the eyes. You heard his trembling inhale and exhale and he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I think you should leave Baekhyun,” you said in clipped words.

Your exhaustion from the evening had caught up with you and the last thing you wanted was to fight with him right now. You would both just have to talk about this later. When you weren’t so tired and when he was completely sober.

You heard another deep inhale from him and you saw his shoulders slump as he leaned against the door frame. His eyes were closed and the pout on his lips was pronounced and genuine. Part of you was still pissed at him for what he’d said, and another part of you wanted to give in to him. To give in to his beauty. To give him anything he wanted, even if that meant you would only suffer in the end.

But you held your ground. And you didn’t move when you saw him nod his head in defeat and turn to push the door open quickly. He stepped out into the darkness and didn’t look back at you once as he slammed the door closed behind him in either anger or frustration. You wouldn’t be surprised at either.

You stared at the door for a long while, surrounded by the darkness and the silence of his absence. Your mind whirled with realization after realization.

He gave up so easily.

He gave one meager apology and then he simply left. Without even looking back. Or trying to get you to forgive him for what he’d said.

You suddenly wondered if maybe he wasn’t seeing only you. Maybe he had a few other girls he could go to for quick no strings sex and you were just the closest one. Celebrities were like that right? Used to getting whatever they wanted at the drop of a hat.

Your imagination leapt forward through all sorts of scenarios and you suddenly felt sick.

You felt your phone buzz and you looked down to see a message waiting from him. The knot in your stomach burned as you swiped.

“I’m sorry. I’m an asshole for saying that. I don’t have any excuse. Please don’t hate me, I don’t want you to hate me.”

You had to respond. Of course you didn’t hate him. How could you?

“I don’t hate you. Just go home and get some sleep. We can talk tomorrow.”

Your phone was silent after that and you made your way up stairs to your bedroom to change into your pajamas for bed when you felt your phone buzzing again. You looked at the screen and were surprised to see that he was calling you now.

“Baekhyun, why aren’t you sleeping yet?” You said into your phone in a hushed voice.

“I can’t sleep. I-I needed to hear your voice. I need to know that you’re not mad at me.” He sounded so genuine that you couldn’t help the smile that broke through on your face.

“I’m not mad, Baek,” you said and you heard his steady breathing on the line.

He was quiet for a moment before you heard him inhale to speak.

“Good, because I think I’m in love with you.”


	7. Chapter 7

“Good, because I think I’m in love with you.” When you heard those words spoken through the phone in Baekhyun’s voice you froze.

Partially from disbelief. Partially from shock.

Did he really just say that? Did he mean it? Maybe he was drunker than you first thought.

“I’m not saying this because I expect anything from you. It’s just how I feel and I had to tell you.” He was speaking faster now. He sounded spooked by his own candor and you could hear the nervousness in his voice.

“Baek,” you said in a quiet voice and you heard him stop speaking and inhale a shaking breath.

“I’m sorry. You don’t need to say anything. I know you aren’t ready for a relationship right now.” Baekhyun had started speaking again. His response to his nerves seemed to be an increase in speech and his consistency made you smile. It was such a blatantly Baekhyun reaction.

Could it be possible that this beautiful, precious, chatty, nervous human being actually did love you? Could you allow your mind to accept this?

“Baek,” you said again, interrupting his chatter and you heard disappear from the line. In the distance you heard him groan out in what sounded like frustration. After a moment he was back. And he was talking again.

“Shit, I’m sorry, can you just…not reject me right now? Can you just pretend that I never said that?” He wasn’t going to let you speak.

He was too scared of your reaction and was using his constant rapid talking to keep you from talking. To keep you from rejecting him again tonight. You shook your head and didn’t stop the wide grin that took over your face. How was it possible for one person to be this adorable?

“Baekhyun Oppa!” You said a little too loudly into the phone and he stopped talking. You heard a sigh.

“What,” he said and you could hear the pout in his voice.

“Why don’t you just get some sleep huh? We can talk tomorrow afternoon. After my final okay?” You were trying to keep your voice as neutral as you could. Of course you didn’t want to hurt him. And if he really was in love with you, you needed to do some serious thinking about your own feelings. About the feelings for him that you and been trying to push down for fear of getting hurt yourself.

“O-Okay,” he said quietly and you said bye to him before you ended the call.

The next day, once you had finished with your early morning cram session and taken your final you held your phone gingerly between your fingers, contemplating sending him a message.

Surprisingly, and for the first time since you’d met him, you didn’t have a single text message waiting for from him. Your phone had been silent all morning and all through lunch time and even now as you held it in front of you, watching and waiting, there was nothing.

You had to admit, you hated it.

What the hell was he doing ignoring you now? After declaring his love for you last night and speaking to you the way he had. Acting possessive and jealous of the idea of sharing you with another man. And now, where was he? Even during his busiest schedules he always found a moment to text you something.

Were you going to be the same as those other girls? The ones who get mad and refuse to text him first out of spite? Even though you totally loved him and missed him and…

Wait. Did you just say love?

Did you love Baekhyun? Had you really fallen that hard for this beautiful, sexy, talented, famous, yet slightly flawed person who was such a huge distraction to you that you’d actually lost two tenths of a point off your GPA since you’d met him?

You scrolled down at your silent phone. Then you unlocked it and scrolled through your contacts to his entry that still read _Curry & Chocolate _and you dialed. Opting to call him instead of texting. If he was busy he would simply not answer right?

“Hello.” His voice sounded sweet in your ear and you felt the familiar flutter inside your belly when you heard it. How could he have such a powerful effect on you?

“Baekhyun,” you said, your voice half whine, half greeting.

“Yes?” His reply was shorter than usual. His voice also seemed to sound a little too professional and curt. As if he was speaking to a business associate or maybe he wasn’t alone. You wondered just how many people were around him right now.

“Are you busy? Why do you sound like you’re about to do a business deal with me right now?”

“Yes. I’m a little busy. I’m in an interview right now, but if it’s okay I will contact you when this is over so we can work out the terms.”

“Hey! Dummy, if you’re in an interview just don’t answer the call! I can’t believe you. ” You couldn’t help it. The last thing you wanted was for him to get into some trouble because he couldn’t resist answering your dumb phone call.

“Please don’t misunderstand. Your call is very important to me.”

“Next time just fucking let it go to voicemail. I’m just calling to tell you that my final is done. It’s my last one. That means if you wanted to hang out when you have some time, I’m available.”

“Yes, I’m very interested in this deal. You have my word, I will be in touch.” You heard his voice dip suggestively at the word touch and you scoffed into the phone.

“Whatever weirdo, I’ll be at home.” You said and you heard him hum in response before he disconnected the call.

After about fifteen minutes on the bus you walked through the door of your bedroom. And threw yourself down onto your bed. You heard a buzzing in your pocket and pulled out your phone. Baekhyun was calling you already. What kind of interview is over so quickly? Perhaps he was already nearly done with it by the time you called him.

“Huh?” You said into the phone. You laid face down on your bed, your voice was muffled by your pillow you were breathing into.

“When you said you would be home, does that mean I can come over?” He sounded like usual sweet flirty Baekhyun again. His business persona was long gone.

“Yeah sure, if you want. There’s nobody here. Are you done with your interview?”

“No, I’m just in the bathroom. We should be done in an hour. I’ll see you after okay?”

“Okay sure, just text me when you’re here,” you said as you ended the call. Feeling the fatigue in your body from extra studying and stress of the week of finals you closed your eyes just for a moment. Savoring the satisfying feel of your bed.

A buzzing in your hand woke you up. You pried your eyes open and looked at the screen. It was Baekhyun. You must have fallen asleep. Looking at the time you saw that slept for about an hour and a half and you quickly swiped to answer his call. You blinked a few times, trying to pull your mind from the haze of sleep and you cleared your throat, knowing your voice would be thick and slurred from the nap.

“Hello.” Your voice was low and sleepy sounding and you heard him giggle on the other end.

“Yah, were you asleep? Do you want me to go away and let you go back sleep?” He sounded playful and amused. You could tell he was smiling.

“No, no, I’m awake now. I just fell asleep for a bit.” You said. Your voice was still too low and quiet as you spoke and you noticed Baekhyun had stopped laughing as you spoke.

After a moment you heard him inhale on the line, the air whooshing past his speaker noisily.

“I’m at the side door,” he said.

Your legs were already carrying you down the stairs as you tiptoed past the open door of the dry cleaners where part time workers were still busy with the day’s clothing. They didn’t even spare you a glance.

When you opened the door you saw a black coat, hat and facemask and you quickly pulled him by the arm through the door.

He grunted in surprise and your hand flew up to cover his already facemask covered mouth. His eyes widened at you and you lifted a finger to your lips, telling him to shush.

You pulled at him again, quickly moving him past the open door and the workers to the stairs where you moved behind him and gave a gentle nudge for him to go up. Once inside you ushered him through the living room through your bedroom door. You turned and closed the door with a loud click.

Before you could turn back around to face him you felt him behind you. Your back was covered in the warmth of his body and you could feel his thin fingers at your neck. He moved your hair away and you felt his breath against your skin before his lips reached your neck. The sensation of his mouth on you was unexpected and your eyes drifted closed, overwhelmed all of a sudden.

He kissed your neck and moved closer behind you. His hands wrapped around your waist, under the fabric of the shirt you were wearing. One of his hands was moving up under your breasts, trailing along the skin of your stomach and he pulled you into him. You felt him behind you. He was already hard and he pressed his erection into you.

“Do you know how sexy your sleepy voice sounds?” He whispered into your ear as he pushed his hardness against you again. His hands moved up, over your breasts, pinching your nipples over the fabric of your bra. He was driving you crazy.

He bit down on your neck and you felt goosebumps spread over your skin. A sudden wave of desire washed over you and you spun around within his arms to face him. He had pushed your shirt up over your head and when you spun your arms lifted, so he could pull it over your head.

The look he gave you was dark. He was still wearing makeup from the interview and his eyeliner was thicker than you’d ever seen on him. In person at least. He was wearing more makeup than you ever wore yourself and you stared at him for a moment in awe. More than just beautiful he looked sexy like this. Hot as hell and completely fuckable. He blinked at you and bit down on his lip. He looked dangerous. More dangerous than you’d could handle right now and you felt your arousal warm the area between your legs. Desire pulsing through you, making your skin feel too hot. His mouth was back on your neck now, kissing and biting his way down to your breasts.

“Baek,” you breathed out.

“Yes my love,” he said against your skin as he unlatched your bra. Your eyes opened at the word he said.

_Love._

_My love._

It came out so easily and naturally from his mouth that you felt a flutter inside you. A burst of warmth, not between your legs as earlier but higher. Inside your chest. You felt full. Giddy. Happy. Completely consumed. Could this be real?

You felt a small sound escape your lips. Halfway between a whine and a whimper. You were too affected by him for words and he lifted his head, his eyes on yours now. He watched your face curiously for a moment, his eyes hooded and heavy but still trying to read your face for what exactly was going through your mind.

“I-I..” You breathed out and his hands were trailing up and down your back.

“I want you so badly, I can’t think clearly right now,” you said and his eyes rolled back as he inhaled a breath and bit down on his lip.

“I haven’t been able to think clearly since I met you,” he said and his mouth crashed into yours. You were lost in his kiss. He tasted so good and sweet you wondered if he had been eating candy before he came to you. You felt him sucking on your tongue and you felt your pants pushed down as his hands squeezed your ass.

His actions were ravenous. Needy and rushed and you felt frozen under his touch. Blindsided by the sensations that surrounded you all over. The sensation of Baekhyun. You pulled away from him and gasped for the air your lungs burned for.

He seemed to have a higher lung capacity than you because he was moving down your body now as he turned you and pushed you toward your bed. You laid onto the bed where he pushed you. Half of you mind protested that he still had all of his clothes on and you were able to mumble out a quick “Oppa, your clothes,” to which he just grunted and continued kissing and nibbling all over your skin. If you didn’t know any better you’d think he was marking you. You felt him sucking hard against your breasts and you moaned out as his fingers found their way between your legs.

His fingers seemed to have a destination inside of you. You watched him, feeling his hands touching you in the most intimate place. He slid a slender finger between your folds and looked at you with his dark, heavily made up eyes as he slid a second finger inside you. You closed your eyes as he curled his fingers upward and rubbed against your inner walls. As his fingers moved, he began to run circles over your clit with his other hand. The dual sensation immediately sent you into oblivion. His hand moved faster and you could feel something stirring inside of you as he did it. Something you’d never felt before. No one had ever touched you quite like this and when you opened your eyes and saw that his eyes were still on you as he moved his hand faster. The hand that fucked you did it fast and with each rapid movement you were brought closer and closer to an end. An end you now sought out desperately. You were so close and you hoped he didn’t stop what he was doing to you.

You tensed the muscles in your legs and your abdomen dipped in and out with your heavy breathing as the strong sensation crept up your spine and you saw him smirk at your reaction. He didn’t let up and a sudden wave overtook you as your eyes rolled back closing tight and you heard a half scream get caught in your throat as you came harder than you ever have before. You trembled and you shook and his he guided you through it until your legs collapsed limply onto the bed and the shaking stopped.

You felt dizzy. You felt undone and vulnerable and he was looking at you with his dark eyes and that sexy smirk. He watched you coming down from the high and you felt his hands rubbing up and down your parted thighs in front of him.

He was still wearing his clothes. You found the unfairness unacceptable so you sat up and reached for his collar. His hands fell to his side and his eyes watched as you popped button after button of his shirt off and pushed his shirt off of his shoulders. His chest underneath was firm and smooth and you ran your hands over his skin as he slowly blinked at you with an amused smile on his face.

He was sitting on the bed and that made his pants tricky.

“Baek, lie down,” you said and he moved to lie down on his back. You reached for the button of his slacks. You could feel his dick, hard and straining against the fabric just below the surface. It made getting his zipper down tough since his jeans were so tight but he lifted his hips so you could move them down and pull them off. His underwear were next and as you pulled them down his dick sprung up to life. You could see how red the tip was. If he wasn’t so sure he was about to get off he would be complaining about the pain.

You looked back at him and crawled over to him, grasping his dick with one hand you stroked him a few times and his eyes closed as he let out a whiney moan. It sounded needy. It sounded sexy. You wanted to hear it again.

You stuck your tongue out and licked his tip, right at the slit. He tasted salty and you opened your mouth and too just the head of his cock inside your mouth. You sucked and he moaned again.

When you fluttered your tongue underneath the head of his dick you heard him hiss and buck his hips up into you. You widened your mouth and took his length inside, sucking hard as you pulled your head back.

“Oh fuck, baby stop I can’t take it,” he suddenly said and he pulled your head away from him. He sat up and his mouth was on yours, kissing you deeply. You knew he had to taste himself in your mouth but he didn’t seem to mind. His tongue explored and he bit down on your lip.

“Turn around and get on your hands and knees,” he said in a dark voice, pulling out of the kiss. You couldn’t have refused him even if you wanted to. His voice left no room for argument.

As soon as you moved he was behind you and his hands were on your ass. You felt him squeeze your flesh and you felt his fingers running up your slit, spreading your wetness. You felt your still sensitive clit respond with a throbbing sensation as his fingertips ran over it.

Then you felt the head of his cock running up and down the same path before you felt him slowly push inside of you. He scooted closer to you on the bed and you parted your knees to let him further inside. When he pulled out you missed him, when he pushed back in he did it fast and you felt the fullness overwhelm you as he slammed into your walls inside. You cried out and your sounds fueled his actions, he did it again, harder and you felt your arms sink as you gave in to gravity and his forceful poundings. He seemed to like this and you felt his hand push your head further down against the mattress. And he lifted your hips up high, holding you firmly with his hands.

He was rougher now. Pounding into you as deep as you could take and his hands gripped tightly into your hips, pulling you up every time you sank down as he fucked you. As if the marks he’d left on your breasts weren’t enough, you were sure to have bruises from his fingertips digging in to your thighs. His sounds were loud and with each rough thrust you felt his balls slap hard against your clit, sending jolts of pleasure surging through you with each impact. The lewd sounds echoed through the room and bounced across your ears. Dirty, sexy, sinful sounds of sex.

You were close to cumming again and you clenched around him. Squeezing him tightly, making him tense and whine as he fucked you. The wave hit you hard. Making you seize up and your legs gave. You felt him pull out quickly and you fell down hard onto the mattress, you were rolling, or he was pushing you over, because instantly he was hovering over you and you watched as he stroked his cock twice and came over your mound and upward onto your belly and breasts. You felt hot liquid shoot over you and he trembled as he milked the last drops of liquid from his cock. His eyes were mad with lust, as they took in the sight. His cum on your smooth mound, on your stomach, inside your navel, his cum on your breasts that were marked by his mouth. Small red blotches and bruises he had just made there himself. The look in his eyes was possessive. In this moment you were his. No one else’s. And you were too drunk on his sex to care.

The comedown was a blur. You were half aware of him laying next to you, mumbling something that sounded like a string of curse words and then grabbing your panties to clean up the mess he made on you. Then he was back and he was holding you tightly against his naked body as you came back into your own mind again. Your heart was settling and you felt like you could finally get enough oxygen into your lungs.

He was wrapped around you. Both arms and legs and he was holding you tightly. Clutching to you. When you looked down you could see that he rested his head against your neck and he was breathing you in. You felt his hot breath puff out over and over as he inhaled deep.

“It’s not fair,” you heard him whine into your neck, and you ticked your head in his direction.

You didn’t reply. Your mind was whirling. Should you just cave and tell him how you’ve been feeling? The emotions that you’ve been warring with all day. The realizations that shook you to the core.

“Why won’t you just be mine?” He said and you felt his lips kiss sweetly against your neck, just below your ear.

“You’ve got me so fucked, every day, I’m out of my mind,” he was still complaining against your neck as he sighed into your hair.

“I can’t believe how mean you are,” he added and you could hear his voice fading. He seemed to be falling asleep.

Would you miss your chance?

“Baek?,” you called out and you heard him jolt and inhale a sharp breath. He lifted his head and he looked at you in surprise for a moment before his eyes looked over your nakedness and he gained his bearings. Then he smiled that sweet smile that killed you.

“Did you call me? I think I fell asleep,” he said.

"Baekhyun, you know what?“ You asked, turning toward him. His eyes widened and he seemed to become more alert and focus on you intently.

“What, baby?” He smiled.

“I love you too.”

  
  



	8. Chapter 8

Baekhyun’s eyes widened and he stared at you without speaking for a half a minute. The silence grew a little awkward and you blinked rapidly as you looked around his face.

What was this reaction? You’d just told him you loved him and he was silently staring at you. His face was still and impassive and his eyes were fixed on yours. After a while he finally spoke.

“Are you just saying this because I said it?” He asked quietly and your eyes widened a hair. You could understand why he might doubt your sincerity. You hadn’t been exactly reciprocative of his feelings and desires regarding whatever this relationship you had with him was. He wanted more than you did. Or so you thought. But the more you thought about it, the more you could see yourself falling deeper and deeper for him. You knew you loved him. He loved you. Would making it official really be that bad?

“No. I’ve been feeling it for a while now. I-I think I’ve been trying to deny it, but I mean it Oppa.” you grumbled. It was honestly annoying to you. Your silly heart falling in love with him. When he was obviously so much trouble waiting to happen.

He was Byun Baekhyun. He was supposed to be unattainable. Untouchable.

Even though technically you were touching him right now. Or rather, he was touching you. His legs and arms were still draped over you. His hands still gripped you possessively. You could feel the claim he believed he had over you in how completely he covered your skin with his. Using every inch of his limbs to touch your skin as much as he could. Outside of lying directly on top of you and crushing you, this was about as much as he could touch you right now. It felt good. It felt right.

“Why do you sound like that though?” He said. His eyes were serious. You could feel his heart thumping in his chest as he rested against your shoulder.

“Like you’re not happy about it.” You could see the tiny pout beginning on his lips. God he was adorable. You fought your own smile and he pouted even harder.

“How would you feel if I told you I was seeing someone else?” He suddenly asked. The way he asked it sounded more like a confession than a hypothetical question and it caught you off guard.

You tensed at his question. It was an involuntary response. You felt an uncomfortable ache in your stomach. You hated it. Hated even the very thought of it.

“Do you see how that feels?” He said. Knowing exactly how you felt about the idea of him with someone else.

“When you tell me that you won’t be mine. That you won’t just admit it. That’s how I feel. It…” He paused, his face scrunching up. His eyes closed tightly as he continued to speak.

“It makes me sick. I feel so uneasy inside. Like I can’t handle it. The thought of you with someone else. Y-You should be mine. I know it so completely as an absolute truth. And any deviation from that truth causes so much discord in my brain that it makes me feel sick.”

You felt your mouth go dry at his honesty. His words felt so genuine and raw. You could see the emotions bubbling up on his face as he spoke with his eyes closed.

“And I mean, I get it. I’m a celebrity. We can’t date like other people can. There will always be some danger. A whole lot of secrecy. There’s always going to be trouble. I fucking get it. It’s my reality. I’m living it. It’s the path I chose. But I deserve to be happy. And you make me happy.” His voice was getting a little less stable as he spoke.

He sounded more vulnerable than you had ever heard him before and you instinctively wrapped your arms around him. Running your hands sweetly through his hair and rubbing his back. Comforting him as he spoke.

You heard him sigh a deep chest moving sigh, that made your arms around him rise and fall with the breath.

“I just want you to call me yours. I want us to go places together. I want you to meet my friends. They would love you. I want to be scared as shit because I have to meet your parents. I won’t even wear any eyeliner when I meet them. I want that. I want all of it.”

You felt that familiar warmth spread through your chest again. It sounded so nice. So promising. The way he said it made it feel real. Doable even.

“Okay,” you said as you rested your chin on his head. “Okay, let’s do it then. I’ll be yours and you can be mine.”

Once the words were out you felt your face heat up. You did it. You took the leap and agreed to everything he said. You felt his head move and he looked up at your face with wide eyes. He watched you and you saw his mouth pull open into a wide grin.

“Really?” He said, smiling even wider when you nodded your head.

Baekhyun leaned forward and kissed you. His lips moved slowly over yours and you were overwhelmed by the sweetness you felt in his kiss.

He kissed you patiently. You savored the feel of his soft lips against yours. The taste of his mouth. The way his breath puffed out warmly when he opened his mouth and exhaled over your tongue. You breathed in his breath. You tasted him on your tongue. You were convinced he was the best taste you’d ever had and the more you got, the more you wanted. The feel of his tongue as he brushed it against yours. The way he ran his teeth along your bottom lip. The way he hummed into your mouth when the tension of the kiss became too much. And his hands. His long beautiful fingers that delicately stroked along your jaw. The way those fingers flexed behind your head, in your hair. Tensing and flexing in time with his moans.

You felt him shift and he moved off the bed to hover over you, moving his legs so they were nestled in between yours. His arms on either side of you, he lowered himself to cover your body with his.

It was nice to feel the weight of him on you like this. It was intimate. It was perfect. And he was yours. His heartbeat echoed inside his chest and you could feel it thumping through his skin. He felt alive. He felt in love. The euphoria covered you from head to toe and you felt such a burst of affection for him you thought you might weep. It was overwhelming and all consuming.

The kiss had you under a spell.

Your skin hummed under him and he moved a hand down down between your bodies. You felt him grab ahold of his hardness down between your legs and he easily slid around within your wetness. He lined himself up and guided himself into you and his hand was back as he pushed inside of you slowly with his hips. His mouth never left yours as he filled you.

When he broke the kiss and you opened your eyes you could see him watching you. His eyelids fluttering as he pushed inside over and over but his eyes remained focused on yours. Blinking slowly, he watched you, as he filled you over and over. Memorizing the looks your face made as he made love to you.

“Tell me you love me again,” he whispered before he bit down on his lip, pulling out and pushing inside again. You could feel yourself becoming lost in the sensation of him sliding in and out if you, pushing hard against your walls inside, his languid pace at the beginning had sped up and you were squeezing against him. Tightening as you felt the pressure building.

“I love you,” you said and his eyes drifted closed as he exhaled a breath. He smiled briefly before his face changed. His breathing was labored and his brows furrowed, affected by his own mounting tension.

“And who’s are you?” He said through gritted teeth now. He was drawing it out. Trying not to cum. You felt his restraint and you weren’t so self controlled. You felt the wave rising up, threatening to consume you. You didn’t fight it.

“I’m yours, Baekhyun,” you cried out as you came below him, tensing hard and trembling all around him. Your legs were wrapped so tightly around his waist. You felt him push back against you, trying to free himself. You were too lost and he couldn’t hold back with you squeezing against him like that. He tensed and trembled, whined and moaned out your name as he came. His body shuttered and you felt him fill you fully. You felt his spasms inside. The spurts of hot liquid that flooded you, until he was still.

He was breathing hard. His arms that held him up gave a bit and you felt his weight come down on you more.

“Shit,” you heard him curse. “Shit baby, I came inside you. Why didn’t you let me go? I couldn’t stop it. You felt too fucking good.” He was whining through his heavy breathing.

“It’s okay. I wanted you to cum inside me.” You said and his face lifted to look at you confused and a little panicked. His reaction made you smile.

“Oh relax. I started birth control pills two weeks ago. It’s fine.” You clarified and you saw his face relax as he sighed in relief.

“What kind of woman do you take me for?”

“What are we going to do with all of those condoms?” He joked. He gasped at the sensitivity on his spent member when your laughter pushed him out of you.

——————

Honestly getting to call Baekhyun your boyfriend didn’t really change that much about your life.

He was still a celebrity, so the relationship was a secret. Minah was about 90% sure that Hyunbaek was Baekhyun, but after a long enough time of you denying it she eventually forgot about it for longer and longer periods of time.

Plus you were careful to avoid incidents like the last time when she walked in on him kissing you at the dry cleaning shop.

The one thing that did change was the frequency of calls and text messages from him. If you thought he was chatty before, once you’d made it official he was pretty much texting you or calling you during every free moment of his day. How in the world someone could have so much to talk about was beyond you. It was impressive and kind of incredible just how much the guy talked. And when he wasn’t talking he was singing.

You weren’t balancing the distraction that was Byun Baekhyun with keeping your grades up as well as you’d hoped. You had your own little crisis when, at the end of the first summer semester, you received your very first C grade for a class.

“Baekhyun,” you whined into the phone and you could hear chatter and noise around him on the other line.

“What? What’s wrong? Did something happen?” He sounded worried as he whispered into the phone.

“Baek-,” you were about to cry.

“Baby?” He whispered in alarm.

“Oh my god, it’s awful! What am I going to do? My life is over. Everything is ruined!” You could feel your panic rising and you felt the tears brimming in your eyes. With the first sniffle your tears fell and you could hear his voice rise on the other line.

“Baby, what’s wrong? Come on, you’re scaring me. You need to tell me what happened,” he said and you heard a voice on the other end of the line behind him.

_“Baby? Ooooooooooh! Baekhyun are you dating someone?”_

It was a man’s voice and you heard Baekhyun snap in the distance.

_“Chanyeol shut the fuck up, can’t I have a simple fucking phone call without having to deal with your shit? Have you ever heard of privacy?”_

After a silent tense moment you heard a door slam and he was back.

“Okay baby? Listen to me, whatever it is, we can deal with it okay? Together. I want you to know that I love and support you no matter what okay?” For some reason his voice was trembling. He sounded terrified. What was he so worked up about? You were the one who got a C. It was your GPA that would suffer.

You sniffled a few more times into the phone.

“Okay,” you said quietly.

“Okay? That’s it? Tell me what happened please because I feel like I’m about to pass out.”

After a few more sniffles you spoke. You broke the sad news. The hardest news of your life so far.

“Baekhyun, I got a C in my class,” he was silent on the line. You could hear his breathing but he wasn’t speaking. Then he must’ve put the phone down because you could hear something that’s sounded like distant growling in what you were sure was Baekhyun’s voice.

“Baekhyun?” You called to him but he didn’t seem to be done with his growling.

The growl grew closer sounding. And you caught the tail end of what sounded like the most frustrated sound you have ever heard him make.

“Yah!! He shouted into the phone. And then there was a bitter laugh.

“Yah!!” He said again. His volume seemed to be at a record high.

“Yah! YOU!! Scared SHIT out of ME! I thought you were pregnant!” He was shouting into the line. You could tell he was way too worked up right now.

“Holy fucking shit, I nearly pissed myself. I think I need a fucking drink. Ohhhh my god, I can’t….. I can’t…. a C..she’s crying because she got a fucking C” he didn’t seem to be talking to you anymore. Merely complaining into the phone about you as he breathed heavily and dramatically.

You frowned as you grumbled something about how you’ve never gotten a C before in your whole life.

“Listen Baby, I love you. I love you so fucking much. I really do. But I think I need to hang up this phone right now before I say something I shouldn’t.”

“I’ll call you later after I pull my balls out of my fucking throat.” He snapped and you heard the phone disconnect.

You threw your phone down on your bed in a huff. He acted as if a C wasn’t even a big deal, and he had the nerve to hang up on you too? Seriously? All because he jumped to some silly conclusion? What a giant baby!

You grabbed for your phone and typed out your anger into a text to him and hit send.

There was no reply.

Falling into a mental slump, you got up went downstairs, looking for some sort of distraction. What you found was your mom, opening the mail. More importantly, your grades from the University for the summer semester.

You felt your stomach drop down into your feet right before she screamed and grabbed the nearest object to hit you with. You ran, and she gave chase. You circled the counter of the dry cleaners while shouting various apologies that she didn’t even hear. Her ears were deafened by a mother’s rage.

“I work and I work and I work myself to the bone to give you these opportunities and this is how you repay me?!” She landed a few hits on your back with the broom she held in her hand and on the latest swing you caught it in both hands and held it tight.

“Mom! Mom! I’m sorry! College is really hard, I’m trying my best!” You pleaded.

“Hard?! You know what is hard. Supporting you on this one little business!” She was too mad to reason with.

“What is it? Tell me the truth right now. Is it a boy? Are you dating? Is that why you’re failing?” You felt your blush heat up your face at her question.

“Mom, a C is not failing.” You whined. Suddenly on edge when she mentioned dating. The ultimate distraction in her eyes, the surest way to lead straight to the poorhouse. Or was it the whorehouse. Sometimes her idioms got a little mixed up.

She saw right through you. She knew you well and the blush on your cheeks was your biggest tell.

“Oh my God. Ohhhhh my God!” She declared, taking one look at your face.

“Honey!” She shouted. Calling for your dad. Your eyes widened in absolute horror.

“Honey! Get in here!” If you could crawl inside a hole you would. Instead you looked down at your hands and prayed to God that you father would be a bit more reasonable than your mother was.

You saw him stumble in from the back of the shop. He looked annoyed that he was pulled away from his soccer game.

“Honey, she’s failing her classes. And she has a boyfriend.” You watched your mom grasp at her heart dramatically as she had reached every single conclusion she jumped to in record time. The woman was some sort of a fucking wizard.

Your dad frowned and grabbed the paper with your grades and looked over them for a while.

“She got 3 As and one C. Those together make a solid B+. That’s hardly failing dear.” You lifted your head. Hope rising up in your chest.

Your dad, good ol’ dad. The voice of reason in your home. You smiled at him and he looked at you over the glasses he kept perched on his nose.

“Bring the boy over for dinner tomorrow night.” He said gruffly and your smile dropped instantly.

“But I’m not dating anyone! How should I bring him if he doesn’t exist?” You said as he started to walk away.

You saw him shrug before he lifted a hand to speak over his shoulder.

“Either you show up with your boyfriend tomorrow, or you don’t come home. If he’s a respectable young man he should have no problems meeting your parents.” And with that he was gone.

Your mom glared at you as you bolted upstairs to retrieve your phone.

When you opened it you saw that Baekhyun had not responded to your most recent text. The one you sent out of anger after he hung up on you. You chewed on the inside of your lips desperately trying to formulate a plan.

You were out of options. You had to call him.

You dialed him and listened as the phone rang and rang and rang. He wasn’t answering. Maybe he was still upset. Maybe he read your message was pissed at you and wanted to break up. Maybe he was already making out with a new girl. One just like you but with bigger boobs, or a better ass. She probably worked at a coffee shop or something more glamorous than a dry cleaners.

You heard his voicemail answer. Out of desperation you left a message.

“Baekhyun. Big trouble. Big. Really big. Huge. I’m serious. Call me back.”

You watched your phone for what felt like hours. Days. Years. You couldn’t exactly go back downstairs with it. What if your mom was still waiting for you with the broom? So you stayed on your bed, biting your nails while you watched your phone.

You clicked it a few times to make sure your battery hadn’t died. It seemed to still be working fine.

A buzzing broke you out of the trance and you leapt for it.

 _Curry & Chocolate _was calling. You answered immediately and heard his annoyed tone on the line. He was understandably on edge still from your last crisis.

“I swear to God, if this is about your grades I’m going to..” You cut him off.

“My parents found out about us. They want to meet you tomorrow night at dinner.” You dropped the bomb fast. There was no time for _Oppas_ or dramatics. This was serious. You heard a sharp gasp on his end.

“Oh fuck.” He said, serious as a heart attack.


	9. Chapter 9

Once Baekhyun’s schedule was over that day he called you to discuss dinner. Although _discuss_ wasn’t the right word. It sounded more like an intense therapy session. He was really freaking out. And you were desperately trying to calm him down.

“We have a schedule tomorrow, but it should be over by mid afternoon. Maybe 5pm at the latest. I think I can swing dinner. Oh my god, I feel like I’m going to throw up. Ugh! Why is my life like this? Why? What did I do? Oh right, I fell in love. Shit. Fuck. Shit. I said that one already.”

Baekhyun sounded too nervous. When he got nervous he got extra chatty. You were nervous too. Of course you were. But like most normal people, you handled your anxiety by shoving it deep down inside your stomach so it could slowly rot you away from the inside as you suffered in silence.

Baekhyun wasn’t like most normal people. He was completely and utterly unique. And he was making sounds into your ear that sounded like some sort of vocal exercise. There were ahhhhhs and ooooooohhhh and shiiiiiiiiits.

“Have you always had such a dirty mouth?” You asked, amused at his reaction and trying to break the tension just a little bit.

“Baby, you know first hand exactly how dirty my mouth is.” He lowered his voice into a sexy growl when he said it and you felt your face heat up at the double entendre. You couldn’t suppress your giggles when he told dirty jokes like this.

“Oh god, what if I curse in front of your mom? Or what if your dad hits me? Is he a violent man? How much does he know about our relationship? I’m too young to die. Will he hit me? My face is too pretty. I wonder if I can ask him not to hit my face.”

Good lord was he dramatic. He was literally in very public situations, in front of thousands and thousands of people, all the time. Yet the idea of meeting two, normal adults who just happened to be your mom and dad was scaring him more than performing in front of the entire world.

“I’ve never seen you misbehave in front of your fans. Just imagine you are meeting a group of young innocent fans and you will be fine.” You heard him sigh deeply into the phone. Purposefully slowing his breathing. Perhaps your words were getting through to him.

“Okay. Okay. I have to go shopping. I need to bring a gift. What does your mom like? Is Korean beef too much? How is her health? Does she like red ginseng? Maybe I can ask Kyungsoo to help me shop. He acts like a grandmother, he would know what I should bring. Oh my god, what do I wear? Okay baby, I have to go. I’ll call you later so you can calm me down again.”

You hardly had time to say bye when you heard him disconnect the call.

The next evening your house was buzzing with more activity than normal. Your mom had gone overboard with the food. Clearly expecting your boyfriend to be a big eater. You hoped Baekhyun hadn’t eaten much for lunch because he was going to expected for perform well at dinner.

“Mom. That’s too much food. He doesn’t eat that much.” You complained as she scooped out heaps of noodles onto a plate and set it on the table next to the fish filets, the kimchi and zucchini pancakes, the pork belly, which in and of itself would’ve been enough food.

Your mom was insane. She was just crazy.

“Nonsense. If he’s been working all day he’s bound to be hungry.” She said as she brought the soup to the table, setting it on top of the portable burner.

You felt your phone buzz and you saw his text message.

_“Help me. I’m losing my mind. Also I’m here.”_

“Mom he’s outside, I’m going to bring him up. He’s never been up here so he doesn’t know how to come in.” You lied through your teeth and she was so distracted she didn’t even notice.

Down on the street you saw him hunched over himself as he braced one arm on the wall. You walked behind him and he jumped when you laid your hand on his back.

“Are you okay?”

His eyes squinted at you over the facemask. Their usual sparkle was gone. These were the eyes of a defeated man.

“That bad?” You asked and you heard his trembling sigh.

He reached down to pick up the bags he had set at his feet and grabbed your hand with his other hand.

“Come on, let’s do this before I lose my nerve. If I stand here any longer I’m going to break up with you just so I don’t have to go in there.”

You laughed nervously, not entirely sure that he was joking that time.

“Mom,” you called out from the door as you removed your shoes. From the corner of your eyes you could see Baekhyun walking through the threshold, removing his facemask and his coat along with his shoes. He had on a passive smile and when your mother walked to the door to greet him you saw her eyes widen as she froze at the door.

She wasn’t smiling. She was just staring.

“Mom, this is my boyfriend Baekhyun. Baekhyun, this is my mom.” You said, waving your hands between the two individuals who seemed to both be stuck in some sort of weird limbo.

Your moms eyes went from his face to yours and you saw her glare a tiny bit in your direction that told you she would probably giving you an earful later tonight for keeping such a huge secret from her. Then her smile illuminated her face and she cast her eyes back on Baekhyun.

His face was completely frozen in a smile. A beautiful, smile that made him look ethereal. Just a little to beautiful to be real.

“Ma’am, It is so nice to meet you, I’m Byun Baekhyun.” He bowed deeply, threw his head down and stuck his hand out in front of him.

She grabbed it and ushered him inside. Once she was over the initial shock she was in full hostess mode, guiding him to the table in a suspiciously overly sweet manor. You watched her as she smiled and cooed at him, complimented him on being so handsome, showed him the food and did you just hear her call him “son-in-law”? No fucking way. Baekhyun’s eyes caught yours from across the table as he grinned and ticked his eyebrow up. Clearly thinking he’d already won the woman over.

The poor darling.

He had no idea. Your mom was a sucker for a pretty face. She wasn’t the one to win over.

Speaking of, where the hell was your dad? He was supposed to be getting ready.

“Mom, where’s dad? Baekhyun wanted to greet you both.” You asked and you heard a throat cleared behind you as your father walked into the room. Baekhyun moved instinctively to stand next to you and you both turned to your father.

Baekhyun immediately bowed 90 degrees and took a step forward, extending his hand, lifting and bowing again, closer to your dad.

“Sir, it’s so nice to meet you, I’m Byun Baekhyun.” He said.

Your dad looked at his hand, dipped his head and turned to sit on the sofa without saying a word in response.

You caught Baekhyun’s worried glance, he dropped his untouched hand to his side.

You couldn’t do anything but shrug.

Your mom motioned for you both to sit.

The air was awkward. Baekhyun’s smile looked painful at this point and you were pretty sure his cheeks would be sore later. You leaned your head in to whisper at him and he seemed to flinch when you got too close.

“Stop smiling so wide, it’s weird.” You said in as quiet a whisper as you could and his smile literally vanished instantly. Leaving behind a tense awkward expression. He looked terrified.

“Don’t….Baek, you look so scared. Look normal!” Your whisper was hushed and hurried. You saw his eyes brows furrow as his features clouded over in complete and helpless confusion. He had no idea what to do with his face.

“Mom, Dad, Baekhyun would like to greet you.” You motioned for Baekhyun to move and you stood behind him for support.

With a nervous glance at you you saw him face them both, bend at the waist as he dropped to his knees and bowed all the way down to to the floor in front of them, resting his head over his hands.

When he rose he thanked your mom for inviting him and you handed him the bags he had brought.

Your mom was elated with the box of fancy skin care products that looked to be more expensive than anything you’d ever seen her buy.

“Our stylist Noona says this is the best brand,” he said as he handed it to her. You noticed a small white envelope sat on top of the box and you winced, wondering how much cash he just handed your mother.

You watched as she opened the envelope and her eyes widened as she peered inside.

You wanted to pull him aside and hit him. The beauty products would have been sufficient, but this guy really liked to overdo it. Although the your mother clearly recognized him as a celebrity. So she figured he must have money. Would she have felt offended without the cash? Was she offended with the cash? You honestly had no idea if he’d made the right decision. But at this point he had already done it.

Next he tried to hand your father a box expensive red ginseng, along with a separate envelope on top of course. He held it out for a while but your dad just looked at him. His face blank and disinterested. Finally your mother accepted it on your dads behalf as she smiled a small regretful smile at him.

Why was your dad being like this? You could feel your face heating up the more tense the air became. You knew this wouldn’t go very easily but this was tortuous. The man was being unreasonable. He wasn’t even giving Baekhyun a chance. You could feel your mood dropping and you knew you were pouting as you stood behind Baekhyun and glared at your dad.

You saw the small frown on Baekhyun’s face and you felt bad. Part of you wanted to pull him aside and hug him. Letting him know your dad would come around, this was just his character. Your heart ached for him. You loved Baekhyun and you loved your dad. There was no way for you to choose between the two.

“Mr. Byun, what are your intentions with my daughter?” You father spoke up suddenly and Baekhyun’s eyes widened at the sudden question.

“Dad,” you said and your dad lifted his hand to silence you.

“I asked him.” He said sternly and Baekhyun stepped forward to speak. Your dad was still sitting and you noticed Baekhyun paced a little in front of him before he knelt down, sitting in front of him on his heels. He didn’t want to loom over your father as he answered his question.

“Sir, my intentions are genuine. I intend to stand by her. I will support her fully through her schooling so she can realize her full potential. She’s an intelligent, strong, beautiful woman, who has been raised very well. She makes wise decisions all on her own. I’m constantly impressed with her every day. She has also given me new reasons to smile every day. I intend to care for her as much as she will let me. And I hope that you will permit me to be by her side for as long as she will have me.”

He sounded so sincere. His earnesty was clear in his voice. You felt your heart swell at his words. Is this really how Baekhyun saw you? You found yourself smiling to yourself. When you looked at your mom you saw that she was also fighting her own small smile, obviously touched by his sincerity.

Your dad clenched his jaw and looked straight into Baekhyun’s eyes. The room fell silent for a long while as he observed the young man who sat in front of him.

“Mr. Byun, I know who you are. I have seen you on tv and I know you are an important person. You are successful and you have worked very hard for what you have accomplished at your very young age.”

You watched your father in surprise. You hadn’t realized he even knew who Baekhyun was.

“I am a simple man. I have very few things in my life that are precious to me. Even fewer things that I would lay my life down on the line for. Just one in fact and she is standing behind you, scared that I’m about to kick you out of my house and tell you never to come back.”

“I will admit, the thought crossed my mind.” He added. You saw Baekhyun dip his head, listening carefully as your father spoke.

“But you have been brought into my home by my little girl. The same little girl that I taught to read. The one who used to sit on my lap as she practiced writing her letters. The little girl who would come crying to me in the middle of the night when she had nightmares. She is the most precious person in my entire world. I can only pray that she has not fallen only for your good looks, or your money. But I know that the young woman that I have raised would not be so naive. She has chosen you and I will respect her choice.”

“Until you give me a reason not to.” He added and your eyes widened in surprise.

You saw him clear his throat gruffly and stand from the sofa, leaving behind a shocked kneeling Baekhyun and your mom who seemed to be wiping tears from her eyes.

“Thank you Sir! I won’t let you down,” Beakhyun was standing now and bowed his thanks to your dad’s retreating back.

When you approached Baekhyun his nervous smile was back and you both looked at the full spread of food at the table where your dad had sat down at the head.

You pushed him to sit down and he was staring ahead, still nervously smiling and not really saying anything.

You sighed deeply and seeing that your dad had already begun eating you grabbed a piece of jeon in your chopsticks and quickly stick it up to his face.

“Jeez, here just eat something,” you whispered and he slowly opened his mouth, taking the piece of food between his teeth with wide wandering eyes.

It was while your mom was serving the soup that you noticed it. You had been so distracted by your dad’s words earlier when he was talking to Baekhyun that you honestly didn’t notice it before. Neither had Baekhyun apparently.

Of course you noticed it. It was glaring at you obviously from your father’s torso. You felt your cheeks heat up and you coughed to cover your gasp. Grabbing your water quickly, drinking to wet your suddenly too dry mouth. As you swallowed your eyes looked worriedly between your father and your boyfriend.

Your dad…

You prayed to be struck dead by lightening because there was no way you could do this.

Your sweet clueless dad, was wearing Baekhyun’s shirt. The one he had stained with chocolate sauce, on purpose, two months ago when he came back into town to see you.

The shirt he must have forgotten to pick back up from the dry cleaners. You wanted to crawl into a hole.

The shirt that was now apparently treated as abandoned property due to the shop’s clearly stated 45 day policy, which could be found written on the wall behind the counter as well as on Baekhyun’s dry cleaning ticket.

Had you even given him his ticket that day? Your mind flashed back to the day he showed up after being gone on tour for weeks. He had told you he missed you and he kissed you with a desperation that quickly made you forget everything else. You remembered that that was the day you brought him up to your room and you remembered the sex you’d shared with him on your bed. Maybe you never even gave him that ticket that day. You honestly couldn’t remember.

After a few tense moments you saw Baekhyun shift next to you. He had been fidgeting in his seat, his leg was nervously shaking and all of a sudden you felt him go very still.

You could actually feel the moment when he noticed. You grimaced and risked a glance at him. And yes, Baekhyun was looking at the shirt your father was wearing. You looked at him with wide eyes. His eyes were just as wide looking between you and your dad.

You wanted to die. You knew your face was too red. What the hell would he think? Your dad just casually shopped through the customers clothing whenever he felt like? You had to address it, because things weren’t looking very promising right now. In your mind, Baekhyun was jumping to all sorts of conclusions. What if he thought your dad was a sleaze? That wouldn’t do. This needed to be cleared up right away.

“Dad? Where did you get that shirt? It looks nice.” You said, your voice much too high and much too loud. Your mom gave you a strange look, obviously noticing how weird you were behaving. Try as you might you couldn’t seem to gain control over your tone and volume.

“It was left at the shop. Owner never came for it. It’s nice. Too nice to throw out.” Your dad shrugged as he ate his soup.

You heard a loud nervous laugh come out of your mouth. Your eyes were much too wide and you wondered if they might pop out of your head right onto the table. Internally you were sobbing. You knew you were acting very odd and you felt Baekhyun’s hand on your knee for a moment as he squeezed. Now he was the one telling you to just be normal.

“You see Baekhyun, the shop has a policy. If an item is left for more than 45 days it’s treated as abandoned property and is thrown out.” Your parents looked at you curiously. Clearly wondering why your boyfriend needed a lesson on the stores policy right now.

“It looks reall,y really expensive, doesn’t it Baekhyun?” Did your voice always sound like this? When you looked at him you noticed his smile was long gone. His eyes were still staring at the shirt. His face was pale and he looked a little queezy. You saw him swallowing nervously and he picked up his water to drink. You watched his cheeks puff out, filled with too much water and he swallowed hard. Coughing a little as the water went down. His eyes flitted back to the shirt.

“Why do you think someone would just abandon a $675 silk Armani dress shirt at the dry cleaner Baekhyun?” You asked him through gritted teeth and you saw his face dip as he looked down at his spoon full of rice that your mom had just placed a piece of fish on. His hand was shaking. The tips of his ears were red and the hand that was on your knee felt a little too clammy.

“M-Maybe he didn’t know such a policy existed and he simply lost track of the time. Maybe he’s a very very busy person.” He cleared his throat and ate the rice and the fish. Chewing slowly and carefully. When he swallowed his eyes looked back at the shirt before he closed them tightly. His jaw clenched and you noticed the tiniest grimace on his lips.

“Nonsense.” Your dad said as he took a bite of noodles. Effectively ending any more discussion about the shirt.

You heard Baekhyun sigh in defeat and you leaned in close to whisper to him.

“I’ll get it back,” you said and you saw the tiniest of head shakes.

After dinner your mom cleared the table, refusing to let Baekhyun help at all even though he tried very hard to sneak some dishes into the kitchen. She shooed him away playfully and he seemed to be working his charm on her as he snuck some more side dishes behind her back onto the counter when she wasn’t paying attention. She giggled like you’d never heard before and you saw his face light up at her reaction. This guy sure was something else.

“Will you get him out of here!” You mom finally shouted at you and you grabbed him by the arm and pulled him into your room.

“Ahhh, why won’t you let me help you?” He called behind his shoulder as you dragged him away.

“She likes me,” he said with a huge smile and you saw his cheeks turn pink as he looked down at you. You heard him sigh out loud.

“Ugh, that’s over, I feel like I can finally breath now,” he said and you leaned forward and kissed him on the lips. You heard him grunt in surprise as he placed his palms on your shoulders and pushed you back.

“What are you doing? Your mom’s in the kitchen!” He scolded you and you just laughed and leaned forward, kissing him again. You heard a small groan. The slightest, tiniest groan of protest from deep within his throat and he kissed you back. His mouth opening as his tongue found yours you felt his hands wrap around your waist as he pulled your body up against his.

You broke from the kiss and giggled. Enjoying his reaction. Enjoying how little of a fight he was putting up.

His eyes opened and he looked down at you and you saw him wrinkle his nose and scowl.

“I can’t believe you. You’re such a tease. You know we can’t do this now,” he complained in a whisper and felt him release you from his arms and try to back away from you further.

You saw him retreat and he sat down on your bed and he casually grabbed a pillow which he held over his lap. He must have thought the move was pretty smooth but you weren’t fooled.

“Baekhyun,” you cooed sweetly at him as you moved to stand in front of him. Your hands were on the pillow and you quickly pulled it away. He gasped and looked up at you with wide eyes.

You looked down to see the bulge in his pants. How affected he had become from just a little kiss. You leaned forward and ran the palm of your hand over him and felt him harden further under your touch. He closed his eyes and groaned before he grabbed ahold of your hand to stop you.

“Yah,” he said. Surprising you with the casual way he suddenly spoke.

His eyes were hard now and all traces of his amused smile were gone.

“I just got your mom to like me and your dad just approved of me. Now what the hell am I supposed to do with this? I can’t go out there with my dick hard. What are you doing to me?”

You looked down at him and smiled.

“I locked the door. And we have at least fifteen minutes before we need to go back out there.” You smirked and arched an eyebrow and bit down on your lip.

He looked at you with a serious expression on his face and his eyes looked down at your mouth. You knew you were misbehaving but seeing him resist you like this only made you want him more.

“Stop that,” he said quietly.

“Stop what, Baby?” You played innocent as you reached down and grabbed ahold of his hand. You lifted his hand up to your mouth and took his index finger into your mouth. He closed his eyes and groaned. You saw him lift his free hand and cover his own mouth tightly, trying to control his sounds.

The urge was too strong. You wanted him to give in to you. You reached for the remote and flipped on your TV, turning the volume up and you reached for his zipper. Undoing his button you felt him shift to give you access to him. His hand was still over his mouth and his eyes were wide as he watched you pull out his erection. He was very hard after you had teased him by sucking on his finger.

You lowered your lips, kissing the head of his cock sweetly as you looked up at him.

You were kneeling in front of him and his legs parted as you moved closer. With the tip of your tongue, you licked over his slit and down to the sensitive space under his head. He was salty and manly tasting. You wanted more.

You saw his eyes roll closed when you opened your mouth and took him inside. You felt him seem to harden even more over your tongue as you sucked on him and pulled back up. Your tongue swirled around the tip of his cock and when you sank back down you felt his hands in your hair.

You looked up to see his eyes closed and his mouth open. A small choked moan left his lips and he lifted his hand again to cover his mouth. You were moving faster now, relaxing your jaw to let him slide in and out of your mouth more freely you could feel his legs tensing under where your forearms rested.

Your hand stroked him a few times as you caught your breath and you took him back inside, sinking all the way down, you felt the head of his cock nudge against the back of your throat. His legs had a tremor and you could tell how close he was as he gripped your hair harder with the hand he had on your head.

You sucked and sucked when you felt the pulses under the delicate skin of his cock and you tasted the saltiness of his cum as he filled your mouth. His legs shook and you heard a stifled groan from his chest as he came and you swallowed it all.

You released him when the shaking in his legs stopped and with a grunt he fell back into the bed as he quickly put himself back inside his pants and zipped up.

He rolled into his belly on your bed and he was groaning as he covered his face. Something told you he was about to be dramatic.

“Oh my god what have I done?” He said from beneath his hands. His voice was muffled by your bed. He was extra hilarious when he was suffering just a little bit. 

“How am I supposed to face them and look at them in the eyes now? I can’t go back out there and pretend like I didn’t just cum in your mouth. If your mom takes one look at me she’s going to know something happened in here!”

You laughed and smacked his butt playfully.

“Baekhyun, I’ll be right back. I’m going to go brush my teeth, you can sit here for a while and think about all of your sins,” you teased and he groaned dramatically. You could hear his mumbles as you walked into your bathroom.

“I’m the worst kind of person. Just kill me. Just kill me now.”


	10. Chapter 10

You stepped out of your room, closing the door behind you, Baekhyun was still having a little moment on your bed. Just before you closed the door you heard him saying how you’d taken advantage of him in his vulnerable state. What vulnerable state? Jeez, since when is having a boner a vulnerable state? He really was dramatic. 

As you padded into the kitchen you could see that your mom was finishing up the dishes and you stepped up to the counter to help her dry them.

She looked at you out of the side of her eye and glanced behind her, expecting Baekhyun to follow you. When she didn’t see him her eyes returned to yours, eyebrows raised in question.

“He’s in the bathroom.” You said flatly. Believably. Maybe you were getting better at fooling your mom.

“I can’t believe you!” She whispered scandalously. On second thought, maybe she was just distracted. You frowned.

“How could you just let me greet him at the door so unprepared like that? I mean he’s famous!” Your mom must’ve picked up some of Baekhyun’s dramatics.

“He’s not famous here mom, he’s just Baekhyun. Just a regular guy who I am dating. He’s really quite normal.” You stopped yourself at that last sentence.

“Actually no, he’s anything but normal. He’s so loud. Louder than I ever thought someone could be. And he sings constantly. But he’s nice and he treats me well and I really really really like him.” You said, not quite ready to confess that you were actually in love with him to your mom. She didn’t need that information.

Your mom just sighed and put dishes into the cupboards.

“You still should’ve told me. I could’ve gone to the salon. Gotten my hair and makeup done, something, anything.” She grumbled.

“Honestly, she didn’t tell you because she was scared she’d lose me to you. You’re so pretty already, imagine if you went to the salon.” Baekhyun had snuck up on both of you and you actually saw your mom gasp and cover her mouth as her cheeks blushed. Then she playfully smacked him on the arm as he giggled and she giggled back.

You stared between the two of them in shock. He really really was something else and your mom just ate it up. Instantly. The effects of Byun Baekhyun on your mother were instant. He could do absolutely no wrong.

If you rolled your eyes any harder they’d probably get stuck in the back of your head. So you just groaned loudly and walked away.

You moved to your living room to sit down next to your dad who was watching baseball. The most boring of all boring sports.

When you glanced behind your back into the kitchen you could see your mom and Baekhyun, giggling together at the sink as they held their phones in their hands. And as if the situation couldn’t get any weirder, it looked like Baekhyun had just typed something into your moms phone before handing it back to her.

His face shot up, seeming to sense your eyes on him and you saw his face break out into a huge breathtaking grin as he winked at you. You tried to suppress your smile at that wink. You really did. But you failed and you saw his grin turned into a satisfied smirk.

He turned back to your mom in surprise as if he’d just missed something she told him and his face changed as it took on a confused look now. His eyebrows furrowed and he had a small pout as he shook his head at whatever she had told him.

What in the hell were they talking about? The curiosity got the best of you and you walked back into the kitchen. Your mom caught your eye as soon as you entered the room and the look she gave you seemed to be admonishing. What did you do now?

“You didn’t tell him about your trip this weekend?” She said in a heavily disapproving tone and you opened your mouth to defend yourself when you saw the look on his face. He had a small smile but behind his eyes you saw something else. What was that? You noticed his cheeks were a little too pink.

“Mom, I hadn’t gotten a chance yet, jeez.” You turned to Baekhyun to explain quickly.

“I’ve been so busy lately that I just forgot to tell you. It’s not even a real trip. We’re just going on a weekend retreat. This is the only weekend between summer classes that we could do something fun.” Your eyes were on Baekhyun, trying to explain to him about the trip while trying to keep the guilt out of your voice for forgetting to tell him about it.

But you honestly did just forget. It had been so long ago that you’d planned it with your friends that it just slipped your mind.

“Ahhh so it’s just a fun trip with your friends?” You saw him bite down on his bottom lip. You could tell by his forced smile that he was trying not to seem bothered that you hadn’t told him. But was he really just annoyed that you didn’t tell him? Was that all it was? He didn’t want to come along did he? Surely he was busy this weekend. It wasn’t like he was exactly available for a weekend trip at the last minute like this. You wondered if you should even offer.

“Yeah, just Minah, you know Minah. And Dahee, you haven’t met Dahee.” You said as casually as you could and you saw him nod in agreement.

“And Jaewoo.” Your mom added. There was an edge to her voice now and you glanced nervously in her direction.

“Mom,” you said in a warning tone. Did she really need to bring this up now? In front of Baekhyun? What the hell was her problem? You felt your irritation rising that she would even say his name. Sure he would be there but that was only because he was Dahee’s friend. It wasn’t as if you’d purposefully invited your ex-boyfriend along on the weekend trip because you actually wanted to see him. Now Baekhyun was watching the tense exchange between you and your mom with a blank look on his face.

Your mom just shrugged knowingly with a deep sigh. As if to tell you that you should have told Baekhyun about this long ago.

“Who is Jaewoo?” He finally asked quietly. His curiosity getting the best of him.

“Just, nobody. He’s insignificant.” You groaned and you caught your mom leaving the kitchen rather obviously. After causing trouble she just bolted. You glared at her retreating back.

Baekhyun was staring at your face now, waiting for you to go on. You saw him lean back against the counter and cross his arms over his chest.

You could feel your blush creeping up in your face and you wished you didn’t feel so guilty right now. The longer your silence went on the worse you felt, and you hadn’t even done anything.

“He’s my ex,” you finally said as you lowered your head and pouted out your bottom lip and you saw his eyebrows lift in surprise.

“You’re going on a weekend, overnight trip with your ex-boyfriend?” He asked quietly. You could hear the surprise in his voice and you hated the sound of the hurt that was hidden just below the surface.

“No. He’s just going to be there, coincidentally. I’m going with Minah and Dahee.” You clarified with your voice confident and your posture straight. You were positive that you weren’t in the wrong here.

After a long while you felt his hand reach for your forearm and his long pretty fingers touched you delicately. You could feel the uncertainty under his fingers as he trailed the tips of his fingers over your skin. He was looking down at his hand running over your arm and you saw his mouth open as he chewed on the inside corner of his lip.

“Can you not go?” He asked in the smallest voice and your eyes widened in shock. When his eyes looked up into yours you saw it. The hesitation. The selfish question he had just asked you was hard for him to get out but he’d pulled it from deep within himself and he put it out there. His eyes were pleading and guilty at the same time.

“Baekhyun, do you not trust me?” You countered and you saw his eyes change as he inhaled a deep breath that trembled at the beginning before he evened out the longer he breathed. He shook his head as his face changed.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. I had no right to ask you not to go. I’m just being…me.” He said in one fluid breath. Quickly taking back his request and releasing you from the burden of his jealousy.

“I do trust you. Completely. Just…have fun and don’t forget to text me, okay?” He said with a small genuine smile.

You watched his face for a moment, checking for any signs that he might have been just placating you but you found none. You smiled and nodded and you felt his warm hand rub against your back. The small simple gesture felt too nice, made you feel too warm. He’d hardly even touched you, yet it felt too intimate for your kitchen, in your home that was currently occupied by both of your parents who pointedly tried to ignore the both of you as you talked.

You leaned in close and saw him stiffen just a tiny bit. Perhaps he felt something too and was hyper aware that you both were very much not alone. Maybe you should invite him along. Maybe his schedule wasn’t so hectic this weekend and he could at least give the trip some thought. Would he be willing to come? Was it too soon to introduce him to your friends?

“Oppa,” you whispered in his ear and his eyes moved to look at you as he ticked an eyebrow upward.

“Hmm,” he hummed lowly in response. It was barely audible and only meant for your ears within the close confines you both occupied. The sound vibrated inside your head, a pleasant buzzing that warmed your cheeks.

It was too much. It was too big of a step in the new relationship to announce to your friends that your boyfriend was THE Byun Baekhyun. You were sure he’d be too busy anyway. The last thing you wanted to do was ask him to come and then watch his face as he disappointed you. He would feel too guilty. You wanted his smiling face looking back at you to be genuine, not forced and awkward because he couldn’t give you something you asked for.

You glanced toward the living room, making sure you weren’t being watched before you tiptoed closer to him to whisper into his ear.

You had to say something. You’d called his attention to you like this, what should you tell him. The word ‘nevermind’ flirted on your tongue but you knew Baekhyun quite well by now and that would would result in hours and hours of drilling and begging and convincing and you’d eventually cave and tell him.

So you made something up quickly.

“Let’s go have some coffee at the cafe down on the corner,” you whispered shyly. There was just a hint of deception in your voice and you were sure he hadn’t caught it.

You saw him give a noncommittal shrug and you turned for the door, shouting a quick farewell to your mom and dad you tugged on his hand when he paused behind you to bow deeply and thank them for the “lovely dinner.” You saw him point at your blushing mom as he blew her a dramatic kiss and then made a phone gesture with his hand up to his face, to which she nodded with a smile.

What the hell? Was this real? Your mom and your boyfriend exchanging numbers and becoming friends?

You heard the door click behind you as you waited for him halfway down the stairs and when he reached where you stood you grabbed for his hand again. He was putting his coat on and reaching for his facemask as you tugged him down the stairs toward the side door of the shop.

At the bottom of the stairs, with your hand firmly gripping his, you kept pulling on him as you turned away from where the exit was. You heard a sound from him. A grunt of surprise. A yelp of slight confused protest.

“Quiet Oppa, I can’t have you making too much noise down here.” You said in a low voice that made your intentions crystal clear as you led him deeper into the darkness of the closed down dry cleaning business.

“Are you kidding me right now?” He whispered harshly and you turned your head to face his wide eyes. “I thought you wanted to go get coffee.” He added. His voice sounded like the voice of a pained man attempting to behave himself despite your many sins and misdoings.

“I don’t want coffee. I just wanted to get you alone.” The nonchalant delivery of your confession surprised even you. You heard a sharp intake of breath from him before he went silent for a moment.

“Wow. How did I end up falling in love with such a pervert?” His voice was a touch playful and a touch affected. You couldn’t help but notice how it lowered just a bit despite his trying to whisper. You felt his hands reach for your waist as long fingers trailed down your hips to tickle along the hem line of your skirt. His hand moved, leaving a trail of warmth and goosebumps along your skin as he explored your smooth skin below your skirt. You felt him take a step closer to you, clearly taking the bait you’d rather half hazardously left out for him.

“I’m sorry. Did you want to go get coffee instead of this? We can still go.” You felt him groan when his hands moved up higher to your ass and you felt his hands dig in as he squeezed hard, pulling you harder against himself.

“Shhh, you’re going to get us caught,” he said before his lips found yours in the darkness, cutting you off from whatever nonsense you were saying.

You felt a cold wall at your back as he pushed you up roughly, covering you with the warmth and the smell of Baekhyun. Your Baekhyun. You felt overwhelmed by him. Everything about him always felt so good. You entertained the possibility that you might just be addicted to the taste of his mouth, but in all honesty it was probably the combination of every aspect of him. You could feel a buzzing in your brain. A clouding over of your thoughts as the lust took over. Your breathing was much too fast by the time he released you from the kiss to gasp his own quick breaths.

“Fuck.” He breathed out as he slid a slim finger under your panties to feel your wetness.

He suddenly vanished from in front of you as he dropped to his knees in front of you. You felt both of his hands pull at your panties, sliding them down your legs quickly. You stepped out of them and you felt his lips kissing a trail along your thighs. His hands were running over the smooth skin. He lifted one of your legs and rested it over his shoulder and you felt his lips reach your folds. Small urgent kisses and nibbles begged you to shift your hips to let him inside. You angled yourself to let him in closer.

You felt his warm tongue dip inside your wetness and brush against your clit and your hands flew to grip his hair. His small moans vibrated against your clit as he sucked on you. You felt that same warm, wet tongue over and over as it flicked against your clit and you felt his fingers finding their way inside you. The pads of his fingers rubbed and pressed against your walls inside as his mouth sucked and moaned. You knew you were making a mess and the lewd sounds of his sucking and your accompanied breathy moans filled the darkness and fueled the rising wave inside your body.

Half aware of the need for discretion you covered your own mouth and bit down hard against your palm, trying to stifle your sounds. With a gasp of air and a choked sob you felt the wave swallow you up and your legs trembled and tensed around his head buried between your legs. You might have pulled his hair a little too hard as you came all over his face, but aside from the low moan he released from the back of his throat, he didn’t seem to mind the pain.

When your trembling stopped and you release the death grip on his hair you felt him fall down with a grunt into his butt on the floor in front of you.

With the faint light from the Windows you could see the glistening of wetness covering his face and the glazed look in his eyes made him appear so beautiful and dreamy. You dropped to your knees and grabbed his face, pulling him into you for a kiss.

You tasted yourself on his lips and his tongue and you felt him smile into your lips.

He moved away with a smack as the suction from the kiss was broken and you felt him lift you by your arms, turn you and push you against the same wall you had leaned against before. Your hands moved in front of you to brace yourself and you felt his hot breath at your neck. He moved your hair away with his fingers and his mouth was at your ear.

“You made me so fucking hard, baby, bend over for me.” The rough sound of his voice sent goosebumps over your skin as you backed away from the the wall, bending at the waist so he could slip his hands between your legs. You heard his zipper and you felt him behind you. When you looked behind you his eyes were on your ass where his hands ran over your flesh.

You felt the head of his cock as he ran it up and down your slit, teasing your already too sensitive clit before he slipped inside your entrance, pushing inside slowly with a low moan.

His fingers gripped roughly into your hips and he pulled out and pushed inside again, whining quietly as you squeezed around him. His hands reached up and cupped your breasts as he moved again and again. He pushed inside with an increasing pace until you felt his pace grow irregular and rougher. You could tell how hard he was trying to be quiet. The stifled sounds coming from behind you sounded as if they were made through gritted teeth and a clenched jaw as he pounded inside you roughly. You felt his hand move higher up to your neck and he pulled you back into him. You braced yourself with a hand against the wall.

“Baby you feel so fucking good, I need to cum inside you.” He whined into your ear. Your legs were trembling as you squeezed down hard around his cock inside you. You could feel him stiffen and tense behind you and the warmth spread inside you as he filled you with warm wet spurts of liquid. The tensing in his cock stopped and you felt his trembling stop. He released his hold on your neck and his arms held you tightly for a moment as you both caught your breath. 

“I’m going to miss you this weekend,” he said quietly and you felt him slide out of you. You turned to face him, wrapping your arms around his neck, you held him tightly, enjoying the feel of the moment. He was always sweet to you, but something about him right after he came always felt the sweetest. His voice took on this loving tone that was just for you. His touches and his kisses lingered. He felt like yours. Completely and undeniably yours. It was your favorite moment. When you could still smell him on your skin and taste him on your tongue. When the evidence of your lovemaking trailed down your thighs. He was only yours in this moment. You didn’t have to share him with his fans or his members or his company or anyone else in the world. Baekhyun was just yours right now as you held him in your arms.

———————

“So tell us about this new boyfriend of yours. What’s his name? Hyunbaek is it?” Minah’s smile was as wide as her eyes as she watched your reaction closely for any signs of weakness.

You coughed a little bit on the beer you were sipping. The weather was pleasant and you all sat outside in the patio of the small villa you all had chipped in to rent for the weekend. Even though you’d only traveled two hours to get to the beach town it was still a nice break. It felt like a welcomed vacation to some tropical destination and by staying so close to your home town you didn’t even have to learn another language.

“Oh my god what? You got a boyfriend?” Dahee piped up in excitement when she heard the b word. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Jaewoo, who had been grilling some meat with Taeil, glance up at the mention of the word too.

Sure you and Jaewoo had dated very briefly, but it wasn’t that long ago. And the reason you had broken up with him was a touchy subject too. You broke it off with him after your grades had suffered. The same thing that had kept you from heading head first into a relationship with Baekhyun. Yet the difference was that you’d actually fallen in love with Baekhyun. Jaewoo was nice. He was sweet. He was respectful and he was a gentleman. And given the chance, who knows, maybe something might have developed. But you cut it off too quickly.

So now you sat here, drinking with your best friends and their best friends who cooked the meat and you suddenly felt like a hypocrite and a shitty person for hurting Jaewoo like you did.

“Yeah Dahee, she totally has a boyfriend and she says he’s really really hot. But you see the problem is, even though I’ve met him, I’ve never seen his face. Isn’t that just so fucking weird?” Minah had been drinking a bit more than you and she was clearly still upset that you wouldn’t give in and tell her that you were dating Byun Baekhyun already. She had a very strong idea that she was right with her theory.

“What? I don’t get it. Why haven’t you seen his face?” Dahee’s eyebrows rose in confusion as she looked between your best friend and yourself.

“Because he wears a face mask. You know those kinds of masks that really big time celebrities wear everywhere so they don’t get mobbed by batshit crazy fan girls?”

“Oh my god, is he famous? Who is he?!” You could see Dahee’s excitement bubbling up. She was practically vibrating with excitement now.

“Tell her about the gift he got you for your finals.” Minah was having too much fun with this now. You frowned and took another drink of your beer.

“Concert tickets.” You said flatly, wishing you could find some way to change the subject quickly.

Jaewoo was still listening. You could see the blush on his cheeks and the steel set of his jaw that flexed as he bit down. He seemed too engrossed in the conversation and had seemed to zone out on the meat he was cooking on the grill.

“Jaewoo, don’t burn the meat,” you shouted at him, smelling something getting a little too singed and he quickly looked up into your eyes and began removing pieces of meat from the grill for Taeil to bring to the table.

“What concert?” Dahee asked, bringing the conversation back around to your big secret boyfriend and you winced.

“EXO.” You said quietly. You saw Dahee frown.

“But you don’t even like EXO. Why’d he get you EXO tickets?” Dahee asked.

“Exactly!” Minah piped in loudly from next to you.

“You don’t even like EXO. Yet, your boyfriend Hyunbaek sent two very expensive front row tickets the day before the show at the dome. Two front row tickets that must have cost him his first born child if he actually paid his own money for them. And you don’t even like EXO. Now tell me how in the hell that makes any goddamn sense, because I just don’t get it.” Minah was on a roll.

“I never said I didn’t like EXO. I’m just not a crazy fan girl like you are Minah.” You felt the need to defend yourself now. It wasn’t even that you didn’t like them. They were fine, but you were too busy to get too into any group like Minah was. Your grades were too important and you couldn’t afford any distractions.

“So here’s where it gets really juicy Dahee. During the show, Baekhyun, you know, of EXO, THE Byun Baekhyun, could not keep his eyes off of her. And I really mean the whole show. It was almost as if….now this sounds so fucking crazy, but it felt as if he knew her.” Dahee’s eyes were wide. Clearly buying into Minah’s wild theory now.

“No way!” Dahee screeched excitedly.

“Guys, come on.” You pleaded.

“So we have Hyunbaek on one side. Wears a face mask, just so happens to be the exact height and shape as Baekhyun, gives her a gift of impossible to obtain front row EXO tickets, AND just so happens to have the exact same two characters in his name as Baekhyun just conveniently flipped around.” Minah was using her empty beer bottles as stand ins for Baekhyun and Hyunbaek as she laid out her theory for Dahee.

You laid your head down on the table in front of you with a groan of defeat.

“And on the other side you have Baekhyun, who couldn’t stop looking at her, smiling at her, winking at her the entire show, and then even kissed a flower to drop directly into her hands before blowing a fucking kiss at her at the end.”

Dahee’s eyes were wide as saucers now. You had to admit. It was a terrible attempt at a cover up and clearly a life of crime was not for you. You’d never get away with anything. Lying had never been your strong suit.

You watched as Jaewoo handed the tongs to Taeil and excused himself quickly from the back patio and he headed around to the front of the villa where the cars were parked. After a few moments you got up and walked to the front to find him. You felt the need to talk to him. To apologize maybe for your hypocrisy and hopefully clear the air a little bit.

You saw his tall figure leaning up against his car as he seemed to be looking up at the stars. He heard your footsteps over the gravel driveway and his head turned to look at you. You hoped you imagined him wipe quickly at his face, but you were pretty sure you hadn’t.

“Jaewoo listen I..” You began but he cut you off.

“You don’t have to apologize to me.” He said suddenly and you saw the forced smile on his lips. The smile didn’t reach his eyes and you knew him well enough to see how affected he was by this.

“I feel like I do. I’m sorry. I know that when we broke up I used school as an excuse. I feel like an asshole now. Starting into a new relationship with someone else even though I’m still facing the same pressures with school as I was with you.” You spoke quickly, wanting to get it all out before he interrupted you again.

“I really am sorry…for being an asshole.” You said carefully again as you watched his face closely. You saw a chest moving sigh that took his shoulders up high and then left them deflated and slumped down in its wake.

“Well….as long as you know it.” He said after a moment of thought. You saw the small smile on his lips as he shrugged and wrapped a warm around your shoulders. He was tall and you always fit well right under his arm.

“Come on. Let’s go eat,” he said and he steered you back through the cars toward the back patio again.

You walked with him, feeling the familiar security of his arm and when you looked up you saw the same comforting smile you had grown so fond of during your time together. The walk was long through the cars that occupied the driveway and you giggled and laughed as you began feeling the effects of the alcohol you’d had to drink.

“So what’s this?” A familiar voice broke through the crunching gravel sound that danced through the night air and you stopped walking. Frozen in instant recognition of that voice you never expected to hear tonight.

You both turned and you quickly disengaged yourself out from under Jaewoo’s arm. Your face felt hot and your heart pounded when you turned to see a familiar coat and facemask watching you from the driveway. Questions seemed to be dancing behind those familiar eyes that moved from your own over to Jaewoo’s where they glared with a much less friendly look.

“Who are you?” You heard Jaewoo’s question fill your ears and you grimaced at the defensive sound you heard in his voice. You knew he wouldn’t respond nicely with Jaewoo using a tone like that.

“I’m her boyfriend. Who the fuck are you?”


	11. Chapter 11

You could see the agitation rolling off of Baekhyun’s shoulders in waves. He actually seemed to be trembling with an anxious energy that added to the tension you felt between the two men glaring at each other over your head. 

Jaewoo took a small step toward where Baekhyun stood and you reached a hand out to touch his arm lightly. Baekhyun’s eyes instantly shot down at the contact.

“Jaewoo, can you give us a moment please?” You said in his direction as you kept your eyes on your boyfriend.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” He said over your head and you actually winced when you heard the annoyed scoff that came out of the man who stood a meter away from you. The man you loved. The man who was overreacting right now, as he usually did in most situations.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” You heard him growl in a low dangerous voice. You felt your heart rise up into your throat when you saw Baekhyun take a step toward Jaewoo.

“Jaewoo, just go please. I’ll be there in a while.” You could hear the panicked pleading sound of your own voice and Jaewoo finally broke the tense stare down between himself and Baekhyun.

When he looked at you he nodded with a clenched jaw. Jaewoo spun on his heels and left. You watched his retreating form for a while and when he turned the corner and disappeared behind the villa you slowly turned back to face Baekhyun.

He reached up and pulled off his face mask and he inhaled a deep trembling breath before he spoke.

“Wooooow! Just fucking….” He shook his head and ran his hand angrily over his face. You could see that he was still wearing makeup. His eyeliner was thick and his cheeks were blushed and rosy. Where ever he had come from, he’d done it in a hurry right after his schedule was done.

“I mean….what the fu…. Just woooow!” He was still going on dramatically as he held on to his chest to calm himself.

You watched him closely and you could see the fatigue in his shoulders as he leaned up against one of the cars in the driveway and hunched over himself.

Why did he come here? How did he even know how to find this place? You hadn’t told him the address and you knew for sure he had to have driven for at least two hours to get here, depending on what part of town he was in back at home. Why hadn’t he told you he was coming though? What kind of visit was this? The questions mounted as he finally seemed to be quieting down some.

Something occurred to you and you had a flash of the look in his eyes when he found out you’d be spending the weekend with your friends, namely with your ex-boyfriend. That look that clouded his eyes when he selfishly asked you if you would skip the trip. The apprehensive look of a man who didn’t quite trust the situation his girlfriend was about to be in. But was this just a normal worry? Or was Baekhyun seriously worried that you might slip up with your ex? You swallowed the dryness away from your mouth as you came to the only conclusion you could.

Baekhyun didn’t trust you.

Baekhyun was here to check up on you. To make sure you weren’t, what? Fucking Jaewoo in secret?

Was that it? That had to be it.

Your heart sank to your knees.

He was silent and he watched you for a while. The street lights in the driveway illuminated his face in a way that cast dark shadows across his cheeks. It accentuated the shadows under his eyes. The eyeliner vilified his face. Brought out the darkness you knew was there behind his tense clenched jaw and his tightly closed lips.

“Baekhyun,” you said in a quiet voice that was just a bit lacking in your usual sweetness and his eyes widened a hair at your tone. You saw his jaw clench down harder and he blinked. He didn’t respond but you saw him cross his arms over his chest and look down at his feet briefly before he inhaled a deep breath and looked back up at you.

You knew he caught the tone you spoke to him in by the tensed set of his jaw.

“Why are you here?” You said when he was looking at you again. You saw him shake his head as he blinked rapidly.

“I-I just…I was done with my schedule and I don’t have anything going on until late tomorrow afternoon. I-I just …wanted to surprise you.” There was something odd about his voice as he spoke. Something hidden behind the words. He was concealing something from you. And he was bad at it.

It was probably his stupid jealousy. In any other situation you might have bought his excuse, but you knew he was lying and he was doing a shitty job of it. Couldn’t he try and hide it a little better? You felt your temper flaring the longer he looked at you with those dark eyes.

“How did you know where I was?” You said carefully as you watched the details of his face.

“I asked your mom.” He said quietly and you heard the guilt behind his confession. At least he felt some shred of guilt for going behind your back like this.

You didn’t have your phone with you, so you couldn’t be sure your mom didn’t give you a heads up that he was coming, but you wouldn’t have been surprised either way. The woman loved Baekhyun instantly. Of course she’d tell him anything he asked.

“Why is it such a problem that I’m here?” He said. His voice sounded suddenly harder now. His defenses kicking in at your line of questioning and at your tone. He knew you well enough by now to know how you’d respond to his jealousy, yet he was turning on you now in anger.

“I mean what the hell are you doing here? You kept this trip from me. You didn’t invite me here with you. And when I get here I see you…and him…like that? His…his hands all over you like that. What the fuck am I supposed to think?”

His eyebrows furrowed in anger the longer he spoke and you heard his voice rising steadily. You hated the way he pointed his finger at you as he spoke and you felt your heart thumping harder inside your chest with each word he spat at you.

“And..and why the hell is he so tall? And where the hell does he get off coming at me with attitude like that? Why did you hide this trip from me? What exactly am I supposed to do about that? What would you have me do?” He was clearly upset. His mouth was still running and his attitude was flaring up more, giving a loud voice to his jealousy.

You saw a change in his eyes as he took a step forward. You saw him glare at you menacingly. The look made you uneasy and sent a chill down your spine. You had never seen that look from him. And you sure as hell had never seen anything like it directed at you. Baekhyun had never made you feel uneasy before. What was this?

“Are your other friends even here or are you two alone?” You were instantly taken aback. Your eyes widened at him.

“What the fuck would you have done with him tonight if I hadn’t showed up?”

His glare was hard and cold as ice. He was breathing fast as he said it and as soon as the words were out you stepped back, away from him.

You needed distance from that. You had the urge to turn and run. You almost couldn’t even look at his face right now. Not after that.

The accusing words that carelessly flew out of his mouth made you feel as if you had been struck across the face.

Your reaction must have betrayed the way his words made you feel because his face changed instantly when he looked at you. The glare vanished and in his eyes you saw regret and fear.

You saw him lift a hand to his mouth to cover it tightly as if he could somehow put the words back inside. But he couldn’t take them back. They were already out doing their damage.

He gasped audibly from behind his hand and his brows lifted. He was surprised at himself. Surprised at his jealousy, his anger and his own weakness. Surprised that he would dare to say such a thing to you. The wetness you saw in his eyes blurred as you lost your focus on his own struggle in front of you.

You were having your own struggle. You struggled with the reality of this. Your own disbelief fought back against that reality. Surely he hadn’t just accused you of cheating with your ex. There was no way he just said that to you.

But he did.

_Are you two here alone? What the fuck would you have done with him tonight if I hadn’t showed up?_

The words played over and over in your head. The look he had in his eyes as his imagination ran wild, flashed in your mind.

You took another step away from him. You didn’t want to be near him right now.

There was no denying what you knew for certain.

“You don’t trust me.” You heard the defeat in your own voice. You felt the emotions bubbling up inside you once you’d said the words out loud and you bit down hard on your bottom lip, trying to reign them in.

“How can you claim to love me when you don’t even trust me?”

You voiced the thoughts that swam in your head.

The burning truth stung. You felt the ache just under your skin. Baekhyun didn’t have the same faith in you that you had in him. He didn’t trust you at all. His ugly jealousy flared over and over again each time there was even a possibility of another man in your world. He’d come here tonight to satisfy some burning need to witness whatever misdoings his girlfriend was up to with her ex boyfriend.

Your throat constricted, making swallowing away the dryness in your throat too difficult. You felt a small tremble in your lip that you quickly bit down to conceal it as you turned around. Suddenly hiding. Retreating. Giving him your back. You couldn’t see the wide eyed panicked look on his face anymore.

“How do you expect this relationship to last without trust? Baekhyun, How can we even continue from here? There’s no reason to even continue this. I can’t…I can’t…”

It was easier to get the words out with your back to him. When you didn’t have to look into his pained eyes as you felt your heart beginning to crack.

“I can’t do this. You can’t love me if you don’t trust me. I can’t continue this without your trust. I won’t do that to myself.”

More than just disappointment, this was pain. The pain was too much. The pain you’d always dreaded clawed at your throat as it moved up the walls inside your chest. The pain that tried to consume you. The reason you avoided entering into this relationship with him for so long. You knew the pain would eventually come. You just didn’t know it would happen so soon.

You dropped down onto your ankles and wrapped your arms around your knees. Crushed under the weight of your own emotions.

“No,” you heard in his voice from somewhere around you.

“No, no I didn’t mean that,” you could hear the panic and you couldn’t stop the tears that began to roll down your cheeks.

You dropped your head, hiding within your arms, you curled up into yourself as you tried to shut out the night around you.

“No. Shit, I didn’t mean it. I’m such a fucking idiot, I swear I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry.” You felt his presence on the ground in front of you.

His fingertips reached out and touched your arm. The touch was so light and delicate you almost didn’t feel it. If not for the warmth you might have missed it.

You fought your body for control. Desperately keeping your chest and your shoulders from trembling as you cried but the small whimpers that left your lips gave you away. You felt your tears falling between your parted legs and landing on the ground below you.

“I’m sorry. Please don’t cry because of me. Fuck. I never wanted make you cry. I’m sorry, I was wrong.” His voice was pleading and guilty sounding.

“I didn’t mean it. Please believe me. I didn’t mean it. Please don’t say that. Don’t say that you can’t continue. I can’t lose you baby, I’m so sorry.”

You couldn’t move. You felt too consumed by it and his voice faded into silence as he waited. He seemed to be scared to touch you as his fingertips stayed against your skin. Touching you but just barely as the wave of emotions flooded over you and finally faded. When you quieted down and your body stilled you heard him speak.

“Baby? Can you look at me?” You felt his palm rest flat on your arm now. You didn’t want to, but something in his voice made you reconsider.

You knew you were a mess. You knew your nose would be red and runny and your face would be all blotchy from crying.

“I don’t want to. My own boyfriend doesn’t even trust me.” You complained from below your arms and you felt his other hand rubbing slowly over the back of your head. The word boyfriend came out of your mouth involuntary. Despite what you had just said you somehow couldn’t leave that word behind.

“No, your boyfriend is an insecure idiot who doesn’t think before he speaks. Baby I’m sorry. I love you so fucking much. I do trust you. I promise, I do. And maybe after I meet Jaewoo properly and get to know him a little I will trust him too, hmm?”

“Come on, look at me please. I need to see that you’re okay.” You felt the pull of his words as you slowly lifted his head and met his worried eyes. You saw him tense his jaw when he saw your face and his hands moved to touch your face, wiping the tears that had fallen across your cheeks.

“Shit baby, I’m so sorry. You have to know that I trust you. I’m just…I’m a guy. I don’t trust guys. I don’t trust ex-boyfriends. That’s on me, that’s not you. I’m sorry I brought my own stupid bullshit here and did this. I’m an asshole. I’m sorry.” His apologies flew out quickly. It was so easy for him to erase his hurtful words, but you remembered the first time he showed his jealousy. Before you had even agreed to date him, it was there. Would it always be there?

Would he ever fully trust you? You had never given him any reason not to, yet here it came, again and again. Why? What was behind this jealousy of his?

He was still talking. Still apologizing and the constant sound was making it hard for you to think.

“Can you just….stop talking for a minute please.” You said quietly and you saw his brows pull together as he pulled his mouth closed into a tight pout. You knew you weren’t being as careful with your tone as you usually were. Baekhyun was sensitive and you were always so careful to keep your tone sweet, but you couldn’t find that in you right now.

“You’re mad at me, I get it…I deserve…” His mouth was open again as if it was physically impossible for him to just give you a minute of silence.

“Just shut up, Baekhyun!” You interrupted him forcefully and you saw his eyes widen in surprise at your outburst but his mouth closed fast. You actually yelled at him. It surprised you too. You saw his cheeks redden and his eyes cast down as he bit down on his upper lip. His bottom lip popped out into a very definite pout now and the sight of it made your heart physically ache. You noticed the incredible look of hurt on his face and the tremble in his bottom lip.

You instantly felt horrible for the hurt you saw on his face.

Goddamn him. You couldn’t even get mad at him without him doing something like this and making you feel like shit.

With that look you felt some of your anger leave. In its place was the guilt for snapping at him. You were honestly annoyed by it. How he could extinguish your anger so easily with his little pout. You waited a moment as you watched him recover from whatever tantrum he was experiencing inside his head and he finally looked back up at you with a more neutral expression.

“Can I talk yet?” He whispered and you felt the small scoff leave your lips. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes.

“Are you just pouting like that because I shushed you?” You asked and you saw him furrow his brows and pout a bit more.

“You didn’t shush me, you yelled at me. You’ve never done that before.” He said in the saddest voice and you saw him blink widely and slowly. He was working you now. You could feel it happening. He was in full pathetic puppy dog mode and it was a powerful weapon.

“Do you want to hit me too? Will you forgive me if I let you hit me?” You saw the corners of his lips twitch as his tiny smile fought against his frown.

You bit down on your lip to fight your own smile. You pushed it away before it could break through, but he saw the struggle. He recognized that the tension had left some. You saw his eyebrow inch upward a bit and he leaned forward, closer to your face. You looked down to avoid his prying eyes and you saw that he was kneeling on the gravel driveway in front of where you crouched and the knees of his expensive pants were all dirty.

“Look at me.” you heard his soft voice whisper close to your face. You reached your hand out to touch his leg where it rested on the ground.

“Your getting your pants all dirty,” you said in a feeble attempt as a subject change.

“You know I don’t give a shit about that. Look at me please.” You felt his hands on your face. They felt warm and nice.

You lifted your eyes slowly. Giving in again, they moved up until you were looking into his warm brown eyes. He blinked at you and you saw him smile as his hand moved off your cheek to run over your hair. His eyes held yours for a long time and you could feel yourself melting under him. You felt the anger and disappointment melting away. You felt the fight leaving your body. It became a memory now as you looked into his warm eyes.

“I love you. I trust you. I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me anymore. My heart can’t take it.”

The sincerity in his eyes was startling. You watched him closely as he stared at you and you finally sighed and blinked with a small nod of your head.

“Okay.” You said in a small voice and you heard his exhale. The relief was audible. He was so close that you felt the warm breath blow over your lips as he did it.

“Do you forgive me?” He asked, millimeters away from your lips now. Your eyes were on him but he was so close that he turned into a Baekhyun shaped blur.

“Yeah. But you need to be nice to my friends. Jaewoo included okay?” He backed up a bit to look at you closely and you saw him smile.

“You still want me to meet them?” His voice sounded hopeful and happily surprised.

You shrugged in response and inhaled a deep breath. Trying to feel like yourself again.

“You can’t just leave now. I’m sure Jaewoo told them you’re here. Minah already knows who you are. Well she doesn’t know know, but she’s figured it out and hasn’t let up about it since the concert. I haven’t caved and told her that she’s right. She’s gonna flip, she’s a huge fan.”  
You briefly wondered if you should tell her in private so she could absorb the information first before you brought him out.

He surprised you with his lips on your lips. You left your eyes drift closed as his lips pressed against yours and his arms moved from your face down to your shoulders holding you close to him as he leaned.

His lips parted and you felt his tongue brush against your own as he leaned further. His body weight threw off the delicate balance you had and you felt yourself fall backwards off of your feet and you landed with a jolt on your butt.

You heard his melodic laughter and he stood, grabbing your arms to help you stand. You couldn’t help but smile. Everything about his laughter was so contagious.

“Are you okay now? Should we go meet your friends?” His eyes widened as he asked his question and you saw him looking at your face sweetly. He ran his hands over your cheeks once more and you felt his thumbs rub under your eyes. 

“Do I look like I cried?” He shook his head and kissed you on the lips suddenly.

“No, you’re beautiful.” You felt his arms wrap tightly around your shoulders as he pulled you into his embrace. His warmth covered you and you nuzzled your nose in to his neck as you breathed him in deeply. He smelled good. He smelled familiar. Like your love.

“Should I wear the mask then then like…take it off dramatically or do I just go in like this?” He was talking over your head and the hum in his chest vibrated through your body as he spoke.

“Wait. I’m not ready yet. They’re all going to freak out. Minah’s going to hit me.” Your words were muffled by his skin and you felt him breathing into your hair as his hands rubbed up and down your back.

“I’ll take the hits for you. Let’s go before I lose my nerve.” You felt him release you from the hug and his hand reached down to grab yours as he pulled you. He followed the same path that he had seen Jaewoo take and you followed with a small wince on your face as you both reached the backyard.

You watched as your friends noticed the movement one by one. First Jaewoo’s face turned, then Taeil. Next it was Dahee who’s eyes widened and she dropped her half empty beer onto the wooden pick-nick table in front of her. The commotion caught Minah’s attention who looked at Dahee, noticed her focus and slowly turned her head to where Dahee was staring in a daze.

“Uhh, hi guys, so Uhhh….haha…funny thing, my Uhhh …” Why weren’t your words working right? These were your friends. You knew them. What the hell was wrong with your mouth. You swallowed and closed your eyes.

“My boyfriend has come out and wanted to meet you all. Umm, Everyone, this is Baekhyun,” you got it out and raised your hand to wave it in front of him. Looking back at the surprised faces of your friends now you continued as you pulled him a bit closer to each of your starstruck friends.

“Baek, this is Minah. You remember her from the dry cleaners.” Minah’s eyes flew to yours and you saw the look of surprise when she closed her mouth and clenched her jaw, clearly knowing she had been right all along. Quickly and before she could say anything, you opened your mouth to speak.

“Minah, this is Baekhyun, you were right I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you before.” You pouted. You hoped your sad pout was as effective as Baekhyun’s was, but knowing Minah you’d still get hit for this. She was too dramatic of a person to just let it go.

“Hey! How could you..” Minah raised her arm and swung hard against your arm and you winced and braced for the impact.

Only it never came because Baekhyun had moved quickly and intercepted the hit with his back.

Minah froze in shock and horror as her hand landed square in the middle of Byun Baekhyun’s back and his eyes looked up into your wide surprised ones with a wince of pain. He quickly straightened his face back into a passive smile and turned quickly to grasp Minah’s still raised hand and shook it dramatically with a wide friendly smile.

“Minah, thanks for that. It was very refreshing. Just what I needed. It’s so nice to see you again. Have you been well?” Baekhyun’s charm was turned way up as he stared at the dumbfounded face of your fiery best friend. Her face turned red and she instantly bowed her head in greeting.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! Mr. Byun Baekhyun, I didn’t mean to hit you. It’s nice to see you again. Even though you weren’t Baekhyun then, you were Hyunbaek, but I mean I actually figured it out a long time ago at the concert…” Honestly you were so entertained at this point at the sight of her flustered apology you had forgotten all about the earful you were sure to get later.

“Please, call me Baekhyun.” You saw his eyebrows wiggle and he smiled even wider as he released her hand.

You steered him around the table and he shook hands with the others at the table. He charmed them just as much as he had charmed Minah.

Except for Jaewoo.

Jaewoo sat at the end of the table drinking his beer and glaring as Baekhyun made his way closer to him. You saw Baekhyun sigh and he turned to look at you briefly with his brows furrowed and a sarcastic look on his face.

You glared at him and his face changed into a smile that he quickly directed at Jaewoo with his hand extended.

“Jaewoo, I didn’t properly introduce myself before, and for that I apologize. I’m Byun Baekhyun, it’s so nice to meet you.” It was literally the most forced fake politeness you’d ever heard and you wondered how Baekhyun would ever be a successful actor in his movies if this was how he sounded when he faked it. Baekhyun held his hand out for Jaewoo to grab and after a moment you saw Dahee stick her elbow hard into Jaewoo’s ribs to make him move.

Jaewoo rolled his eyes and he stood up slowly in front of Baekhyun.

He stood at least a half a foot taller than Baekhyun and you watched your boyfriend’s eyes widen as he followed the movement up above his line of sight.

You saw Baekhyun’s jaw clench and you saw the pink in cheeks as Jaewoo stood too close to him, looming threateningly over the shorter man.

There was a tension building and you glanced around the table at the other people witnessing the stand off. Of course every single one of your friends clearly understood what was happening as their sympathetic eyes made contact with yours. Dahee cleared her throat loudly and Jaewoo finally took a step back and lowered his hand to grip Baekhyun’s forcefully.

You watched in horror as knuckles turned white with their grips and forced smiles turned into scowls. They were both behaving like children right now and you groaned as you watched the spectacle.

You could practically see the testosterone flowing off of them both in waves like stink lines on a cartoon character. You knew you needed to step in and put a stop to this before one of them pulled something.

“Okay, I think that’s enough,” you said loudly as you pushed both men apart a little too forcefully and they both looked at you in surprise. Clearly they had both been lost in their little competition.

The group sat down and continued their eating and drinking. You looked at Jaewoo’s seat and noticed several empty beer bottles at his place on the table and wondered how much he drank after he left your side in the driveway. You guessed he had to have been pretty upset and had been pounding them back quickly by the looks of it. The closer you watched him the easier it was to see the signs. He was drunk. You frowned at the thought that you’d somehow contributed to his sour mood. This was supposed to be a fun weekend for everyone.

Your attention turned to Baekhyun who was signing autographs, chatting and laughing with your two best friends. They seemed to be giggling like mad at whatever he was saying. If there was something he could always do it was make people laugh. He was animated and lively with minimal effort. It came so naturally to him.

You sat at the table suddenly hungry as you eyed the meat and you caught Baekhyun’s eye as you raised your chopsticks in his direction. You saw him nod and he came to sit next to you at the table. He was about to sit on your left but something made him move to sit on your right. In between where you and Jaewoo sat, effectively cutting off your view of your now drunk ex-boyfriend. You saw the potential for trouble but you tried to push the thought out of your head. Maybe everyone would just behave?

Once he was settled in next to you, you held up some meat in your chopsticks for Baekhyun and he opened his mouth claiming the meat between his teeth as he watched you sweetly. You heard Dahee and Minah both sigh in unison and you looked up to see the audience you both had for that little exchange. Even Taeil watched you both with a small smile on his face.

You couldn’t see Jaewoo from where you sat since Baekhyun blocked the man on the end but you heard a very definite, very sarcastic scoff from the other side of your boyfriend.

“Is there something wrong, Jaewoo?” You heard Baekhyun ask in a tone that sounded as casual as he could muster, but you and everyone could hear the knives under the words. The table seemed to freeze at the question and you felt the blush heat up your cheeks. You lowered your hand and rested it over Baekhyun’s knee and you gave him a little squeeze.

He turned to look at you and you saw him swallow and blink rapidly under your eyes as he bit his lip. You gave him a tiny shake of your head, telling him to cut it out. Jaewoo was drunk and you didn’t want Baekhyun antagonizing him unnecessarily.

“He started it,” he said in a grumble to you, nearly under his breath.

“Yeah I did. I started it, but I guess you’re going to be the one to finish it. Fucking unbelievable. An idol of all guys. I mean are you even considered a man? I honestly couldn’t tell.” His tone was harsh. Dahee scooted closer to Jaewoo who spoke in an increasingly slurred voice and she placed her hand over his forearm. Trying to get him to stop talking so harshly. The tension mounted around the table.

“Who the hell knew all I had to do was wear makeup and go around looking like a women. Dahee can I borrow some of your eyeliner? Apparently you have to look like a girl to get the girl.” The words were slurred but understandable.

You saw the tension in Baekhyun’s shoulders and you noticed the hard clench of his jaw. You tightened your grip on his thigh when you saw his nostrils flare as he inhaled and exhaled deeply. He bit down hard on his lip. Fighting his mouth for control. But unlike Jaewoo, he was completely sober and to your genuine surprise he held his tongue. Baekhyun, the most over-dramatic, easily excitable man you knew, was keeping his mouth shut right now as your drunk ex-boyfriend talked trash and tried to pick a fight.

You had admit, you were proud of him.

“Alright thats enough Jaewoo, let’s get you up to the room. You’ve had enough to drink.” Taeil interjected and stood by Jaewoo, grabbing for his arm. Dahee stood on the other side of him and the pair both tried to convince the taller man that it was time to say goodnight.

You saw Baekhyun turn to look at you, purposefully looking away from the pair that struggled against their drunk friend.

“I’m sorry Oppa,” you whispered in his ear and you saw him grimace and shake his head in response.

“Don’t worry about it,” he wrinkled his nose as he leaned in closer to you. You saw him shake his head as if he was trying to clear the dark cloud away from himself that Jaewoo had put over him.

You heard the distant commotion of your friends as they tried to push Jaewoo through the back glass door of the villa. You saw that Minah had joined and was giggling as she pushed on his butt. She was just as drunk as Jaewoo was by now, only she didn’t have any complaints about Baekhyun to voice like your ex did.

“Are you mad?” You asked and you felt his arm wrap around your shoulder as he pulled you closer to him.

“Of course I’m mad. But I already fucked up enough tonight, I’m not about to do it again. I do know how to control myself you know.” You felt his lips at your ear and the low whisper of his words puffed warm against your neck.

“Besides, he is right, I am a very, very pretty man.” You saw the grin that flashed across his face as he said it and you smiled in return, hiding your chuckles just a bit. You felt him lean in closer to you and you felt his lips brush lightly against your neck.

“Also, I got the girl.” He pulled away with a grin on his face and you bit your lip at him playfully. You saw him raise an eyebrow suggestively as he bit down on his lip as if he was deep in thought.

“Do you have room in your bed for me tonight?” He said in a low voice as he looked down at his hands on the table in front of him. His eyes glanced up at yours once he was done asking to gauge your reaction. He moved and you felt his warm hand on your thigh, running slowly as it moved higher and higher.

“Always.” The word left your lips as a fluid sigh. You felt it deep inside your chest as it flowed. You saw his lips turn up into a smile and you felt the intensity of his gaze on you.

“Can we go now?” His voice sounded low. You knew him well enough to know he would be at least half hard once you’d gotten your hands on him.

“I think I need you to cheer me up after that,” he pouted adorably and you laughed out loud and smacked his shoulder. You saw him flinch and rub his arm dramatically as if the little smack actually hurt.

“You better watch that or I’ll start spanking you. We’ll see how much you like it.”

He said it as a joke. You felt the joke in his words and in his delivery, but the actual content of his words made you blush and you swallowed down the dryness in your throat. You stared at him for too long until your playful smile was long gone. He snapped his mouth shut as he watched your face react to his words. You saw his mouth go slack and his eyes changed. There was a microscopic narrowing of his eyelids as the wheels turned in his head and you turned your face away from him so he couldn’t look at your face anymore.

But your mind was working. You felt the heat rise up inside your body as you recalled the moments with Baekhyun when he turned more aggressive with you in bed. The moments when he took charge and handled you with his strong arms and fucked you with that possessive look in his eyes that drove you crazy with lust. You recalled the way his mouth marked you and his body dominated you. The pull to him was strong, you could feel his eyes on you as you daydreamed. Did you dare look at him? The tension was mounting and you felt an anxious, yet exciting hum within your chest.

You felt the need to move. You couldn’t sit here any longer with him watching you like this. You hadn’t looked at him yet but you knew exactly what kind of look you would find in his eyes. He already had enough eyeliner on to accentuate the darkness you knew would be there.

So you stood up abruptly.

“I think we should go inside. They’re all gone now, probably passed out from all the alcohol.” You walked away from him, knowing he would follow you.

He was completely silent as he moved behind you and you made your way inside, glancing at Minah who seemed to be asleep on the sofa. She hadn’t even made it to her room. Dahee, Taeil and Jaewoo were all gone. Presumably in the other rooms. You knew with Minah asleep down stairs you would find the room you both were planning to share empty. Had she slept downstairs on purpose? You couldn’t be sure but you would definitely thank her later.

You stepped inside the room and heard the door close behind you with a click. There was a second softer click that you heard a moment later. The sound of the door locking. The sound played in your ears and filled you with an intense anticipation that rippled through your body.

“You know,” you heard his low voice. He was standing closer to you than you’d realized and you ticked your head in the direction of his voice a bit.

“I’m not the only one who made a mistake.” You felt his long fingers brush lightly down your arm, leaving goosebumps in its wake. You closed your eyes and savored the feeling.

“W-What did I do wrong?” Your voice was quiet and unsure. Suddenly hyper aware of the warmth of his body at your back.

You felt his fingertips move from your arm to the hem of your shirt as he slipped his warm hand below. His touch on the skin of your stomach felt like a spark igniting a fire below the surface.

“You kept things from me. You tried to conceal your past relationship with him. I practically had to pry it out of you. You wouldn’t have even told me about it if your mom didn’t make you do it. You let him put his hands on you like that, and then you have the nerve to act surprised when it affected me. Like it shouldn’t make my insides burn with jealousy. You have no idea how much I wanted to rip him apart when I saw that. You don’t know what that kind of thing does to a man.”

You felt his hand reach your breasts as he slipped his fingers below your bra and he squeezed the fleshy mound roughly as his other hand snaked up to your neck. You gasped at the sensation, surprised at how the wave of warmth spread between your legs as he did it.

“I agreed to be yours and you agreed to be mine. You are mine. I don’t like seeing someone else touch you. I didn’t like the smile on your face when he did it. It makes me feel crazy. It made me want to do things I shouldn’t do.” His low growl into your ear as he spoke was making your breathing too fast. The arousal you felt under his fingertips was intense and all consuming.

His hand squeezed against your neck lightly, cautiously, nearly apprehensively. You felt the moan escape your lips as he did it and the sound made his hand squeeze tighter. He could tell you liked it and he very obviously liked it too. You could feel his arousal nesting behind your ass as he pressed his hips into you. The wetness growing between your legs was begging to be addressed. You needed him now.

You quickly spun within his arms and you felt his hands move away from your skin as you moved. You went for his clothes, pulling at the button and zipper of his pants frantically.

You’d reached his underwear, feeling his hardness just below the thin layer of fabric when his hands grabbed ahold of your wrists forcefully and pulled them away from him. Away from his cock that was so hard for you, just out of reach of him. You looked up into his face surprised. Why did he pull you hands away? You almost had him. You needed him. Desperately. Now.

The look in his eyes was crazed and his grip on your wrists was bordering on painful. You heard a tick in his mouth and his eyes twitched at you as his head ticked back and forth in reproach. You were blindsided with how sexy the gesture was. You felt a throbbing between your legs.

“You first. Take your clothes off. All of them.” You moved quickly once he released his hold on you. You wanted to please him. You needed him to fuck you and you were willing to do whatever he told you to do. Your clothes were off quickly and you hopped up onto the bed on your knees, watching him for his next move.

His eyes were on you, trailing down your body. You heard him clear his throat and he slowly pulled his shirt over his head. Your eyes took in his slim body, you saw the outlines of his muscles that you knew he had been working on lately. He looked sexy, manly, beautiful and your fingers ached to touch him. But he was too far away. His hands dropped to his pants that you had already undone, and he pushed them so they fell. You saw the outline of his hard dick in his underwear and your eyes lingered over him where he stood at the foot of the bed.

“Baek, come here and touch me.” You whined. Why was he standing just out of your reach like this? Was he trying to torture you? Were you being punished for making him crazy with jealousy?

You saw him move closer to the bed and he moved to sit just on the edge. He was on his knees in front of where you kneeled and you could reach him if you extended your hand. You started to move toward him but stopped when his low voice interrupted you.

“Lay back and open your legs.” You felt the heat crawl up your chest and neck to your cheeks. You weren’t exactly embarrassed to be so exposed in front of him, but the request was sudden and unexpected. You were shocked to hear the words coming from his pretty mouth and try as you might you couldn’t hide your blush. He was watching you. Waiting for you to move and after a moment you did. Your legs parted and you laid back, relaxing against the pillows that were propped up on headboard of the bed.

You expected him to move. But his eyes were the only part of him to move as he looked at you. You saw his eyes blinking slowly as he bit down on his bottom lip. You knew he had to be aching to touch you now but he didn’t move.

“Touch yourself. I want to see you cum.” His eyes moved up from between your legs and met your eyes. His dark eyes, so heavily lined with eyeliner watched you.

If you were blushing before, you were sure you were bright red now. That didn’t change how incredibly aroused you were feeling and you moved your right hand down between your parted legs. His eyes followed your hand and he watched as you slipped your finger between your folds, sliding around your wetness. You were very wet and the sinful sound filled the room as you found your clit and ran your finger over the swollen nub.

Your eyes glanced at Baekhyun. He was watching your hand as he bit down hard on his lip. His dark eyes were hooded and you saw him exhale a trembling breath as he released his lip and ran his tongue over his upper lip. His hands moved up to cover his open mouth and he definitely seemed to be struggling to keep his hands off of you now.

You could feel your climax steadily building and his eyes on you seemed to be hastening your orgasm. You were nearly there. You could hear your rapid breath and you arched your back as you slipped your fingers inside your wetness before returning them to your clit. Your hand moved faster and you felt the jolt of electricity shoot over your body, bursting through your walls and overcoming your senses. Your eyes closed, your body tensed and your muscles clenched as you came around your own hand.

When your hand stilled over your wetness and your breathing slowly returned to normal you opened your eyes and his eyes met yours.

“Holy fuck.” He breathed out from behind his hands and swallowed. You saw him exhaled a controlled breath, clearly very affected by what he just saw. By what he told you to do for him.

He moved quickly and he reached forward and grabbed your hand. You felt him lift your hand to his face as he stuck your index and middle fingers into his mouth and you felt his tongue rolling between your digits as he licked your wetness off of your fingers.

“Mine.” You heard him growl out. His eyes looked into yours and you saw the lift of his brow and the smirk.

“This is mine.” He said darkly before he dropped down.

You felt his lips kissing your inner thighs and you felt his mouth open as he bit down hard on the soft flesh of your thigh. The pain made you whine and his lips kissed the spot where he’d made a bruise. You felt him move higher, closer to the mess you had just made with your orgasm and you felt the slow movement of his breath against you as he inhaled deeply. You heard a low groan from deep within his chest and you felt his mouth and his tongue as he licked up your wetness.

From your view you saw the top of his head as he moved between your legs and you whimpered when you felt his tongue brush over your still sensitive clit. The overstimulation felt like too much, yet his mouth moved over your clit again and again and you cried out when you felt his warm mouth open as he sucked it into his mouth. The suction and the heat coupled with his tongue as it moved inside his mouth brought you quickly up to another peak.

The effects were instant and overwhelming and you felt your hips bucking up hard into his face as he did it. Your hands flew to his hair and the strong wave washed over your body again. You cried out and trembled around him with his hair held tightly in between your fingers as he gratified you with his mouth.

You felt weakened and spent by the time his mouth released you and your legs collapsed onto the bed as he crawled over you. You saw him coming and you noticed the darker wet spot in his underwear. How hard was he now? How painful was his erection becoming. The spot of pre-cum that had leaked out gave you an idea. His eyes were on you as he reached where your head lay on the pillow and his mouth found yours.

He kissed you hungrily. His tongue was forceful and his teeth bit down as his mouth sucked on your lips. You tasted yourself on his tongue and you felt dizzy from it all.

He was moving as he pushed his underwear down and kicked them off quickly, unable to hold off any longer.

You felt his strong arms reach for you and he wrapped them around your waist. You were lifted and rolled and you found yourself perched on top of him, straddling him. You felt the smoothness of the head of his cock as he slid between your folds.

You lifted yourself and angled your hips and he slid inside, filling you up as you sank down onto his length. His hands gripped you above your hips as he lifted you off of him and pulled you down hard. You hadn’t realized how strong he had become and yet now as he lifted your body you could feel the strength in his body. Each upward thrust hit you hard inside pounding your already spent body more and more. Was he going to make you cum again? You felt dizzy and used up, yet helpless to fight the familiar wave that threatened to consume you again. You felt it teasing you and as you clenched and tightened around his stiff cock inside you.

Unexpectedly his hand reached up and gripped tightly around your throat.

Your eyes opened and looked down at the dark eyes that watched you as he squeezed his long fingers around your neck. He felt your walls tightening and you cried out as you came on top of him and you felt his hand tighten, cutting off your air as you trembled and shuttered. Your eyes closed and the orgasm seemed to be magnified by the dizziness in your head. You felt his hand loosen as he lost his own battle with his control. He whined and cried out below you as he thrusted upward hard. You felt him release inside of you, coating you with a fresh coating of wetness and heat.

He grunted when you collapsed down on top of him. You couldn’t sit up anymore without his strong arms holding you up. He had relaxed when he came and he laid a heavy arm over your back as he breathed hard below you on the bed.

You gave in to the gravity around you and you let yourself roll off of him, onto his side. You watched his profile as he laid next to you with his eyes closed. His eyes suddenly opened and he turned to look at you. You saw a flash of worry behind his eyes and made your heart smile.

“Shit, baby did I hurt you? I got carried away.” He lifted a hand to your neck as he sat up in his elbows to face you.

You shook your head in response. “You didn’t hurt me. That was amazing.” You heard and felt the exhale of relief against your skin.

His lips found yours and he kissed you sweetly again and again.

“I’m so sleepy,” you whined against his lips and you heard his tiny laugh.

“Go to sleep my love.” He whispered against your skin. You heard a sigh from his lips. Something in his sigh sounded off and you caught it right away. Your lifted your face to look at him closely.

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” You heard the worry in your own voice.

“I’m fine. I’m just…worried. Once I spend the night with you and wake up with in the same bed as you, I’m going to want to do it again and again. I’ve dreamed about this night and it’s finally happening, but it’s not like it’s something we can repeat again easily. I’m worried that it’s going to hurt too badly to wake up alone.”

He was right. Tonight was the first night you’d share a bed with him and it probably wouldn’t happen again. It was a pretty impossible thing to replicate easily. You felt an ache in your heart at the thought of it.

“Don’t worry Baby, we’ll make it happen again.”

“You promise?” His small voice was hopeful and it made you smile.

“I promise.”


	12. Chapter 12

You've had your share of peaceful night's sleep and sleeping with Baekhyun definitely was not one of them. You fell asleep right away, covered in the warmth and security of his arms. He was wrapped around you as you felt yourself drifting slowly.  
  
You awoke sometime around 3am when you heard a groan of pain. Your eyes opened to find a hunched up figure with pillow over his head. He had scooted to the far side of the bed and had his back facing you. He was curled up into himself in a protective position and when you reached out to lay your hand on his shoulder he flinched hard. Clearly not expecting you to touch him.

"Oppa, what's wrong?" You said in a sleepy voice and you saw him emerge from under his pillow to turn and look at you with wide surprised eyes.

"Oh, are you awake now?" He asked as he turned and shifted to face you in the bed. He looked tired and more awake than he should be at 3am.

"What's wrong? Are you okay? I heard a sound like you were in pain." You blinked wider, trying to wake up enough to comprehend what was going on. Was he sick? Was he hurt? The way he had curled up into himself looked like he had a stomach ache.

"Yah!" He began with a somewhat nagging tone. The sound caught in your ears and surprised you. Your eyes focused more as you looked closely at his face. The light of the moon shined through the open curtains and illuminated his face. He was so pretty right now. At some point after you fell asleep he must have gotten up and showered. He looked bare-faced and beautiful in the moonlight. His heavy eyeliner was all gone and his hair was clean and fluffy against his forehead.

"I can't believe this. I finally get to sleep with you and this happens. Do you know you get....violent in your sleep?" You actually saw him wince as he said it. His eyes narrowed and he looked up at the ceiling dramatically.

"I'm going to have bruises all over. What will your friends think when they see me tomorrow?" He continued in that same nagging voice and you looked at him the more you saw, red splotches. One on his bare arm, one red mark on the side of his face, near his eye. Did you really do that? You sat up in alarm and looked at his face closely.

"The last straw was when you grazed my dick when you swung your arm at me. I really thought you'd settled down and it was my own fault for sleeping on my back. I should've known better after you hit me in the fucking eye." You gasped loudly and covered your open mouth with your hand in horror. You knew you were blushing, your face was on fire.

"Baby, I just want to sleep with you. Why are you trying to kill me?" He sounded close to tears as he whined noisily next to you. You could hear the exhaustion in his voice and you felt guilty for robbing him of the precious hurts of sleep he could be having right now. Instead he had been struggling to remain uninjured as you flailed and swung your arms and legs in your sleep.

You knew you were an active sleeper. Minah and Dahee would usually complain in the morning about how badly you tossed and turned but it wasn't enough to cause you this much concern before.

So you made a quick decision and you moved quickly as you got out from the warmth of the blankets on the bed and stood with your pillow in your hand. You would sleep on the floor. You couldn't do this to him anymore. Baekhyun had a schedule tomorrow and needed his sleep.

The instant you stood up you felt the cold air of the room rush around your bare skin and you realized your mistake. You stood directly in front of him completely naked. Still undressed from the love you'd made with him before you fell asleep. His eyes moved down from your face, over your naked body slowly as you stood frozen in front of him trying to think of of your next move.

"Is this penance for hurting me? Because I'll take the abuse for this." He said in a quiet voice. His eyes were right on your breasts and you saw him inhale and exhale a breath through his parted lips before he swallowed and licked his lips. His eyes moved lower, taking all of you in slowly. Greedily. You saw a twitch in his eyebrow as it ticked involuntarily. His animated face was responding to the view you were giving him. His roaming eyes made you feel vulnerable and exposed.

It wasn't even like he'd never seen you naked. He'd seen you plenty of times. But you were flustered and you hadn't quite expected to be this exposed in front of him right now. You felt your cheeks heat up. You knew you were blushing, you could feel the warmth spreading just below the surface of the skin on your face and down your neck.

Your hand moved. The hand with the pillow you held on to. You intended to use it to shield your nakedness but he moved and you felt him grab ahold of the corner of the pillow and he pulled it hard and fast. Ripping it out of your hand before you could use it as a shield. You gasped and instead used one arm to cover your breasts and the other splayed to cover between your legs.

"Don't." He said. His voice was still quiet but you heard the lowness in it. He shook his head and he looked into your eyes. Your hand gripped around your breast, holding on tighter. You couldn't quite explain this reaction you were having right now. Maybe it was the hungry look he was giving you.

"Please don't cover yourself. Not in front of me."" He breathed out. His voice was pleading but it didn't match the hunger you saw in his eyes. His eyes were demanding and serious. You felt your grip on your breast loosen. You closed your eyes and with a deep breath you dropped both hands to your side, letting them hang freely.

With your eyes closed you heard the shifting of the bed and you knew he was moving. You felt warmth on either side of your legs. His knees resting just outside of where your hips were as you stood in front of the bed.

Baekhyun was quiet. So quiet that your curiosity began to burn and push at your eyelids until you finally opened your eyes to find him watching you.

"There you are," he said. His eyes sparkled as he looked at you and you saw them crinkle up as he smiled at you. His lips pulling back into a beautiful smile.

"You're so beautiful. I love you so much. Please don't hide. Not from me." The sincerity in his voice coated your mind with a sweet slow moving warmth. The warmth worked its way slowly down over your face down your neck to your chest where it burst through your heart like a salve. You tilted your head downward to look at him. He looked up at you. His eyes searched your face. You could see everything in those brown eyes.

"I don't want you to ever hide anything from me. I won't hide from you either okay."

You nodded your consent. A tiny smile on your lips and a little flip in your stomach at his words. The overwhelming love you felt for him in that very moment moved your legs and you moved closer to him, closing the distance between your bodies.

"Get back in bed. Where were you going anyway?" His sleepy voice was soft and you shrugged as you sat down and climbed into the bed next to where he laid down waiting for you.

"I was going to sleep on the floor. I didn't want to disturb your sleep anymore, you need to rest." You felt his arms wrap around you and he pulled you in close to his body. You felt the warmth of Byun Baekhyun envelope you completely as he wrapped both arms and legs securely around your limbs.

"Like hell you are. You're staying here with me. Here, I'll just hold you down so you can't hit me anymore." he said as he tucked his foot tightly over your own legs, effectively restricting any movement. You giggled because there was no fucking way you could actually sleep all tied up by him like this. As nice as it felt you were sure you'd have trouble actually sleeping.

His arms constricted and you felt his heart beat pounding steadily against your back. You also felt his dick, half hard right where your ass was pulled up against his body, but you didn't bring it up. He was sleepy and you'd just have to ignore how good he felt nestled there between your legs.

Eventually you heard the change in his breathing and you allowed you muscles to slowly relax, suddenly feeling the fatigue of the day rising up over your body like a slow moving smoke that rose from the floor. Your eyelids grew heavier and heavier until no amount of blinking would keep your eyes open and you drifted to sleep, securely wrapped up inside his arms and legs.

When you opened your eyes hours later you could see the sun peaking over the horizon. It was early by the looks of it, the birds were singing outside and that must have been what woke you up. One noisy bird in particular was fucking screaming like it had a message for the world and you wished you were back in your own room with your black out curtains and ceiling fan that drowned out the outside noise.

You felt tired. Still too sleepy to function and you felt covered and weighed down. A split second of thought brought the memory back into your mind.

Baekhyun was still asleep behind you and his heavy limbs held you very securely within, and under his grasp. What you did feel was his dick, now harder and pressing up close to you. You instantly recognized the benefits of waking up with someone holding you like this. Both naked, so close and of course with the assistance of his own body's morning time reaction you felt a sort of anticipation building inside of you.

How could he be so hard and yet be completely asleep? Was it really that involuntary of a reaction to simply waking up?

Your mind was sharper now. You wanted him. You wanted him to be awake and slipping inside you right now and you wondered how much he would mind waking up early.

You wiggled your hips back into him.

He slept.

You tried once more, pushing back against his hardness, you felt him twitch between your legs and the tiniest sleepiest moan emanated from the back of his throat.

Yet he didn't move. He was still sleeping soundly.

An urge. A bold move on your part, you had to admit, but the urge was too fucking strong.

Would he mind? Would he feel violated and bring it up later as he covered his chest dramatically and called you a predator?

He had a capacity to be very dramatic. He might. You'd just have to risk it, fuck it. You made your decision.

You were going to wake him up.

And you were going to do it in the funnest way possible.

Moving stealthily you lifted his arm from around your shoulder in a slow steady motion. Carefully and at an agonizing pace you slipped down and out of his grasp. You saw him shift and he curled his arms into himself. His face was so beautiful and relaxed. His pink lips pouted slightly as the steady breaths he puffed passed through them. His eyelashes splayed dark against his cheeks under his closed eyelids. He was still asleep and you exhaled the breath you held as you turned to face him.

When you lowered your face down between his legs you felt the warmth of his body. You smelled his delicious scent and you debated your first move.

Hand or tongue first?

He was bound to wake up quickly once you did it so you opted for tongue first.

So you stuck out your tongue and licked a long path up his shaft, from the base of his cock up to the tip and you took the tip of his cock inside your mouth as you swirled your tongue around his head.

His dick stiffened and twitched instantly and you heard the most satisfying moan resonated through his body. You glanced up at him briefly as you made your way back down his shaft and when you gripped his cock with your hand and stroked a few times you saw his head turn, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth was open. His eyes were still closed and you knew he was still waking up. Not quite conscious of what was happening, but clearly responding by the way his dick hardened more inside your hand and mouth.

There was a surprised half moan, half whine that you heard next. You giggled with his dick inside your mouth and you knew he would've felt it vibrating against his head. You popped off of him and kissed the head of his dick lightly.

You took him inside your mouth again and you sucked harder around the tip, hollowing your cheeks as you sucked and when you stopped sucking you swirled your tongue again.

"Fuck...fuck" it was a husky whisper, but he was definitely awake now. He was cursing and you took his dick deep inside your mouth again. You felt his hips move and push up into you and you couldn't keep your satisfied giggle from your mouth.

Your tongue fluttered just under the head of his cock and you reached your hand down to massage his balls, his legs parted wider, letting you have full access to himself and you hummed against his shaft when you felt him pushing his hips upward again. The head of his cock bumped against the back of your throat and you pulled your head up, sucking hard as you came up.

He was whining now. The familiar way he whined during sex, you knew that whine well by now. The sound was music to your ears. You stroked with your wet hand, spreading the wetness from your mouth over his shaft.

You sat up higher for brief moment as you stroked him with your hand and his eyes were open. He smiled at you with sleepy eyes as he watched you touching him and you smiled a wide naughty smile back at him.

"Mmm...Good morning baby," his voice was low, husky and sexy as fuck.

"Good morning Oppa," you said in response. "I hope you don't mind me waking you up like this." Your hand was still moving slowly over his cock and you saw him close his eyes and open his mouth when you moved over his head with your wet palm. He moaned again and his abdomen muscles flexed up and down with his labored breathing. You watched him for a while. His toned muscles looked beautiful in the morning sunlight that filtered through the curtain of the room. His hands were clenched at his side in tight fists that made his biceps pop and the broadness of his shoulders created the perfect vision before you. How could someone so beautiful exist? Moreover, how could this perfect specimen be yours? The thought was baffling.

You must have been daydreaming for too long because you were suddenly pulled by strong arms. He moved quickly, pulling you higher up his body and suddenly he was rolling and you found yourself positioned under his weight. His eyes searched yours as he looked down at you and you felt him push your legs apart with his knee and he moved between them when they parted easily for him.

His eyes had a glint of amusement, desire and something else.

What was that look?

He leaned into you. You felt his dick between your legs. He was sticky now, from your saliva drying over his skin and as he leaned you felt him press against your wetness, sliding around easily.

Your eyes closed momentarily as you felt him there, nearly slipping inside of you so easily, one more push and he would slip inside, he was lined up already and you were so wet. Your legs parted further, wanting him inside. Not just wanting you needed to feel him fill you up.

"I can't fucking believe you," his voice was low and his eyes were glaring at you. That glare was confusing, especially with the amusement you know for sure you saw on his face. You opened your eyes to watch his face, waiting for him to continue speaking. You knew he wasn't done yet and he definitely wasn't fucking you yet. So naturally you were all ears.

"You..." His weight was on you, you were definitely a captive prisoner in this position. His arms were on your sides, caging you in completely.

"What am I supposed to do tomorrow morning baby? How can I just wake up and not lose my fucking mind now that I know what it feels like to wake up to you sucking my dick?"

You felt goosebumps raise along your skin at his words and his tone. He sounded so dominant and his body tightened on both sides of you as he spoke. You felt muscles flexing in his arms around you as he tensed with his words. You felt your already incredible arousal growing between your legs. You were sure he felt your wetness flooding around his cock, which impossible to believe, still wasn't inside you yet.

He balanced on one strong arm and brought a hand to your face. You felt his slim finger trailing over your bottom lip and his eyes held an intensity that burned over your skin. Your lips parted under his touch and he pushed his thumb inside your mouth.

"You are so damn naughty. I can't believe you would do this to me. You give me that fucking mouth and your body for one fucking night and then I'm supposed to just go? What am I going to do with you?"

You heard the frustrated growl leave his chest and he pushed his thumb further inside your mouth. You curled your tongue around the digit and sucked against it. Your mind was on his thumb inside your mouth and on the look in his eyes as he watched your mouth move. You were surprised when you felt his hips push without warning. He was lined up and he pushed inside of your entrance quickly and fully and your mouth flew open in surprise. He pulled his thumb out slowly, running a trail of moisture down your chin as he trailed over your skin with his fingernail. He scraped along the skin of your neck, down between your collar bones.

You were lost in an overload of senses. He was pushing inside of you roughly as his hand trailed over your skin around your neck and your own hands trailed lightly over his waist, trying to find some place to hold on. There was none, he moved fast and rough and you felt your eyes drift closed as he fucked you into the bed.  
  
You were too noisy. You knew it, but he felt so good hitting against your walls inside you weren't able to contain the cries of pleasure that were coming out of your mouth. Half of his mind must've been still in tact because he moved to cover your open mouth with his hand tightly.

You could feel his struggle with his own volume as he dropped down closer to your body.

"Shh..you're going to wake everybody up when you cum if you keep screaming like this" his voice was scolding and he was trembling with the efforts to keep his whisper intact.

You struggled to breath through your nose and you felt a spinning inside your head as you felt the lightening course through your body, originating from a point within your abdomen. Your muscles clenched down hard around his cock and he whined out when he felt you constrict around him. You were trembling, you were mentally cursing him for not letting you scream out loud like you wanted to and the room was a dizzy fucking mess that swirled around your head.

When he released his hold over your mouth you felt him moving and he pulled his cock out of you quickly. His eyes made contact with yours and his hand gripped tightly around his red swollen cock. You reached for him and he moved up to your face as he stroked himself once, twice and your lips reached his head, letting him inside. You tasted yourself on him for a half a minute before you tasted the hot bitterness of his cum hit the back of your throat and coated your tongue. You felt the liquid spill down your chin and he tensed and shuttered as he came. His head dipping into his chest and his jaw clenching down as the last spurts shot out and hit your neck, dripping into your hair that rested on your shoulders.

You quickly swallowed what went into your mouth and his eyes were on you as you did it. You felt his hand back on your face and with his thumb he rubbed along your chin where drips of his white cum had landed and you tasted a fresh flash of bitterness as his thumb pushed the liquid between your lips. You licked and sucked on his thumb and you saw a twitch in his eyes as he watched you do it. He was breathing heavily through parted lips and his eyes were transfixed on your mouth.

You felt his lips crash against yours and you pushed your tongue inside his mouth, knowing he would taste himself there. You heard a moan from the back of his throat and he sucked against your tongue and swallowed. You felt him break the kiss and his tongue was moving over your skin and he ran along your neck, where the last drops of his cum had landed. Your mind spun as you felt him licking your skin completely clean before he pushed his tongue back inside your mouth, urging you to suck his tongue as he had sucked on yours.

You opened your eyes as he kissed you and you saw his eyes open up against your face. He retreated from your mouth and was watching you closely. You looked into each others eyes for a minute, staring deeply as you breathed hard and began to come down from the intense spell that had taken over you both. The room was still spinning behind his head. All you saw were his dark eyes. All you tasted was him.

He broke the eye contact first and exhaled a breath as he laid his head down over your chest.

"You better answer the phone when I call you crying tomorrow morning." You could hear the pout in his voice now and you chuckled under his head.

"Okay," you agreed quickly. His hands were moving over your skin again. Touching everywhere he could reach and you squirmed away from the light touches he placed over your belly. It tickled and your skin dipped away from his hands. He did it again and you tried not to giggle as you moved away from his fingers again.

"God, you're so ticklish. Look," he lightly ran his fingers over your skin again and you tried to escape as you grabbed his hand and squeezed it tightly. He was laughing as he tried again and you quickly had had enough. You bolted.

You rolled quickly off the bed and sprinted naked to the bathroom. He was moving quickly and you saw him coming for you. Before you could reach the safety of the bathroom he was inside with you and his arms were around you, prodding fingers into your ribs, tickling harder as you screamed and laughed, trying to escape his grasp. His own laughter was infectious and you didn't try very hard to keep your giggles down.

The tickling was too much and you were getting desperate.

"Stop Oppa!" You shouted and pinched hard against his fingers. You spun and grabbed for the nearest object you could find. It was a hairbrush and you raised it threateningly over your head. He backed away and cowered in over-dramatic fear. He was faking you gathered but you needed him to stop.

You swung the hairbrush higher and brought it down fast over his head, stopping just before you reached him and moving it slowly and smoothly through his hair.

He genuinely flinched hard before he realized you weren't actually going to hit him with it.

But you were armed now so he stopped the assault on your ribs long enough for you to clean up in the shower and get dressed for the day. You knew he had to leave soon to make his schedule that afternoon but you would make sure he ate breakfast with you and your friends before he left.

Baekhyun let you know he would be downstairs in the kitchen looking for coffee as you got ready.

Once you were ready you made your way down the stairs. You could hear voices somewhere in the house below you and you recognized his voice. Baekhyun was talking to someone. The closer you got you could hear another voice. A female voice and Baekhyun's voice sounded soft, and comforting maybe. You slowed your steps as their words came into your ears.

She sounded upset. It was Dahee and her voice was thicker than it should be. You could hear his voice speaking in soft sweet tones that you recognized instantly as he was obviously trying to comfort your friend about whatever it was that was upsetting her so early in the morning.

You didn't mean to eavesdrop. You honestly didn't, but you were instantly so intrigued you couldn't help but stop to listen, even if you knew it was wrong.

"I'm just saying, how did you ever expect him to know if you never said anything Dahee?" Baekhyun said softly and you hear Dahee sniffle.

"I know I know...it's just fucking frustrating. He's so hung up on her...he has been for so long and I'm just...the reliable friend. I'm the fucking trusty sidekick. I'm good enough to call up to cry about another girl but that's all I am....that's all I'll ever be."

You listened with your mouth wide in surprise as you quickly understood what was happening.

Dahee was in love with Jaewoo.

Jaewoo was hung up on you.

Baekhyun could read people well and he obviously picked up on the fact that she was upset, alone in the kitchen, early in the morning in a strange place.

He had too much empathy to just ignore her when she was upset.

Did you leave? Should you go back upstairs and stomp down them slowly and loudly as if you had giant feet that made huge stomping noises as you walked?

Or should you just make your way into the kitchen and clear your throat at the bottom of the stairs, pretending like you didn't know what they were just talking about.

He was still talking and you heard a small sniffled giggle from Dahee.

Baekhyun was amazing at bringing people out of it. He had a magic to him that could lift them back up from the sorrow all while maintaining a solid respect of their pain. An understanding of it. An acknowledgement of it. He didn't belittle the pain she was feeling. He was just bringing her a little brightness to focus on, so she could see something else. Something worth hanging on to. That was just Baekhyun.

"Okay Oppa, I will. I'll do it. I promise. I'll tell him. Even if I get rejected its still better than this." Dahee said in a stronger voice. One without any sadness and self pity.

"Good girl. Come here" you heard his voice and you could tell he was smiling. You peaked your head around to corner to see him giving her a hug that you knew would feel amazing. You knew how good his hugs were and you smiled to yourself at the amazing man you had somehow managed to snag.

So with a deep inhale you cleared your throat and made your way into the kitchen. You saw his head perk up from the hug and he looked at you with a smile.

Dahee stepped out of his arms and wiped at her face, a somewhat embarrassed look on her face.

"You guys ok?" You tried to sound casual. You saw him glance down at Dahee and pat her back a few times and she nodded big. More for herself than for you.

"We're great. Just having a bit of personal growth so early in the morning." He said with a bright smile as he reached for his now empty cup of coffee. He was refilling the cup and he stopped at the fridge for some milk. A little sugar and a spoon and you found a fresh cup of coffee just like you liked it sitting in front of you on the counter.

You looked up into his eyes in surprise and were met with a wink and a grin.

"Come on baby, let's eat." He pulled you to the table where you saw Dahee arranging three plates with eggs and toast.

"Everyone else is either too hungover or still asleep. Unfortunately I'm the only one up besides the two of you..." Dahee mumbled to herself and you saw the blush on her cheeks and a horrifying thought struck you.

If Dahee wasn't drunk last night, and she was up early this morning did that mean she heard you and Baekhyun in your room last night? What about this morning? You stared at her face, trying to gauge the source of her blush and she stabbed at her eggs and ate quietly.

Dahee was always the quiet type so you weren't sure if her silence had anything to do with you and Baekhyun's inability to be quiet in bed.

Eventually the silence faded into a comfortable quiet meal and you caught Baekhyun's eyes every now and then watching you with a content smile on his face.

"Hey, we have a fan meeting next weekend. Do you all want to come and meet the members?" Baekhyun was talking to both of you. You saw her face perk up and yours did too as you both nodded and smiled.

"Umm..it's a secret that I'm dating. So we'll have to keep that part between the three of us." He added cautiously as he stabbed at his eggs. Dahee nodded in complete understanding and you stared at his face.

You knew him well enough to know that the tense set of his jaw and the way he chewed on his food displayed a bit of tension.

Baekhyun was bothered by this.

He was annoyed at having to keep his relationship with you a secret and he was pushing through it. Forcing himself to accept it and keep up his chipper attitude.

Dahee got up to clear the table and you turned to him.

"If its too hard to keep a secret I can just...not go to the fan meeting Oppa, I don't have to meet the members if you're uncomfortable with it." You offered quietly. You saw his head shake and he looked at you.

"No, I want them to meet you. I want you to meet them. I'm just....bitter."

You got it. You really did. And your heart ached for him. You wanted to give him whatever he wanted but it was out of your hands. The secret was just too big to be able to tell just anyone easily.

So you agreed to the fan meeting. Baekhyun told you to bring Minah as well and he begrudgingly extended the invitation to Jaewoo and Taeil when they woke up.

Both of them politely declined and you had to pinch Baekhyun's arm as you told him to quit looking so relieved because it was totally rude.

As he left for his schedule that day you promised that you would miss him for the next few weeks. You knew it was true. He said he would call and text you at every moment that he could. You knew he would. His schedules and practices were back to back and aside from the quick fan meeting he you knew you wouldn't see him much for a while.

You forced your smile to stay wide and genuine looking on your face despite the crushing disappointment you felt as you watched him walk to his car and drive away from you.

He had been right. Now that you knew exactly what it felt like to wake up in his arms, it made the separation that much harder. Only now did you truly understand what he meant when he complained last night.

You couldn't fall asleep in that big bed alone that night. So you crawled in with Dahee and Minah and you blamed your watery eyes on allergies. These damn country trees really made your eyes water endlessly...or so you told them as you tried to fall asleep that night. Your eyes were closed but your mind wandered and refused to shut up. Your thoughts were consumed with missing him and you wondered if you'd ever get over it. Everyone else slept while you laid awake in misery.

Your phone buzzed and you swiped to read the text message with a time stamp that read 3:47am. He was apparently still awake and in a similar state as you were.

_"This is even worse than I thought it would be. I've been laying here for two fucking hours and I've already cried twice. Do you think it's possible for me to actually die from missing you?ㅠㅡㅠ"_


	13. Chapter 13

Baekhyun was busy. Really busy. His texts were getting shorter and spaced out farther between each other and you were getting ready to start your second summer semester of school. You would be very busy soon. This would be the last of your basics and you could focus more on your pre-med classes. There would be labs and practicals and you'd really start getting into the tough stuff. With your low grade last semester you vowed to focus less on your super addictive sexy boyfriend, and more on school.  
  
Maybe with him being so busy this might actually work out. You even considered re-registering for the class that you got a C in, just footing the bill for it and retaking it. Your school had a policy where you were allowed to retake a class once for a better grade. You looked at your GPA, which was now hovering around the 3.0 level...that was a B. That was undoubtedly a B and you were an A student.

So you did it. You registered to retake the class and you vowed not to fall into the same traps as you had fallen into last semester. You'd just have to explain to Baekhyun that your grades needed to come first. You mentally groaned at the idea of that conversation. You knew he'd be dramatic and whiney and you knew he'd try and convince you to to pay more attention to him whenever he was available like he always did.

Dating a busy idol was harder than you thought it would be. Everything seemed to work around his schedule and when you weren't available immediately for him, he pouted and threw a fit. Sometimes it was just hard to make him see things from your perspective.

Hopefully you'd get through to him and you'd make him understand that no amount of love in the world would make you get the grades you wanted if you didn't put in the effort. And if he loved you as much as you knew he did, he'd just have to understand it. This wasn't just about the letter grade on paper. This was your life. This was your future. You couldn't give up on your own identity just because you happened to be dating a successful celebrity. What would happen later? What if far ahead in the future he moved on and dumped you, or what if the press found out about you both, or what if you both just moved apart and called it quits. What would you do then if you hadn't prepared for your own life, independent from him. You had to. You were a realist and you knew this relationship wasn't worth destroying your future over. You needed to be your own person before you could be his. And he would need to accept that.

The fan meeting he had invited you, Dahee, and Minah to, would happen just a week before school started back up again. So you'd go, look into his pretty eyes all you wanted, get that smile, get that brush of his fingertips over yours as he shook your hand or gave you a high five, and you'd be sated. You had to be. He was busy and you were busy and you just had to. You'd ignore the pull and the ache in your chest whenever you looked at him. There was just nothing else you could do about it.

Your thoughts swam above your head, brewing a dark storm cloud that threatened to rain down all over your mood.

Falling in love was shit. Well no, the love part was great. As was being loved by him was great. But missing him... That part was shit.

You craved everything about him. You longed to feel his arms around you, you longed for his smell. You wanted to see his face up close again. Not zoomed in on a disturbingly HD fan site picture of his face, but you wanted to see his face in person. You wanted to see the expression on his face as his eyes drank in your features. You wanted to see his pupils ticking over your face, pausing at your eyes, your nose, your lips, your tongue. You wanted his breath on your neck and you wanted his fingertips tickling your stomach. You wanted the high pitched giggles that took over his body when you reacted in just the way he wanted as his fingers dug into your flesh and you squirmed away. You wanted his warmth and his skin as he pressed up against you. You wanted his lips and his tongue and the taste of his mouth. You wanted so much that you couldn't have right now.

You felt a wetness high on your cheekbones and you reached your hand up to wipe away the stray tears that fell.

What an emotional mess you'd become since he left that day. You must be hormonal because this was ridiculous.

A buzzing in your pocket brought your attention down to your phone and you pulled it out to see _"Curry & Chocolate"_calling. It was him. It was your love. Your Baekhyun. With a deep sniffle, a test of your voice, and a throat clearing you swiped and answered the phone.

"Hi Oppa," you said in the lightest voice you could muster. It took him a moment to respond.

"Why does your voice sound like that? Were you crying?" He didn't buy it. He never did. He must have some sort of a super power that immediately sensed your moods because he was just too good at deciphering your current state by the sound of your voice.

You felt your nose stuff up more and you sniffled into the line, not even bothering to hide it any more.

"A little bit." You admitted and you heard him inhale on the line. He was silent for a while longer

"Why?" He said in a soft slow voice. His question was cautious. It was slow and delicate and it poked at your heart, urging you to speak, to tell him every single worry you had on your mind and you felt your lips tremble the more you thought about the way his eyebrows would be curved upward in the middle of his face. The way his eyes would moisten as he watched you struggle with your tears and your words. His lips would be parted and pink and his tongue would dart out to moisten his bottom lip before he would pout the tiniest bit. It wouldn't be intentional. This is just what his face did when you were upset. You could see that face now in your mind as you sniffled on the line and you could hear his steady breathing in your ear, waiting patiently for you to answer his question.

"I-I was just watching a sad movie." You lied. You weren't ready to get into just how badly your heart ached when you missed him. You didn't want him to feel guilty for being so busy and you didn't want him doing anything stupid like rushing over to your house to hug you in person when he should be resting after a 16 hour practice session.

You heard silence on the line. He was taking in your words and analyzing them now and you pictured his eyebrows flattening out as he blinked slowly at you. You expected his next words as much as you expected your own heart to keep beating and your lungs to keep breathing.

"Liar." He exhaled into the word. It came off as a soft scoff designed to rebuke you for trying to trick him and you looked down at your hand that was clenched into a fist. Your nails dug into your palm painfully and left little red half moons against your flesh. You tried to focus on the physical pain you felt in your hand to drown out the pain in your heart. You knew you were being a big baby. You knew this was temporary and he would eventually have some sort of a break. A break that wasn't just for sleeping but a genuine hour or two where he was rested and fed and awake and would come and see you again.

But that time wasn't now. He was busy.

"I need you to be honest with me, love. How can you expect me to fix it if you won't tell me what's wrong?" His voice sounded so fucking sweet you wanted to reach into the phone and kiss him.

"It's not something you can just fix Oppa. You're too busy." You could hear the petulant child in your voice as you spoke. You were pouting. You were moping you were feeling sorry for yourself and you were powerless to stop it. You sniffled again as you wiped away the tears from your face. You heard him inhale again and he hummed in understanding at the words you admitted.

"Is that why? Are you crying because I'm too busy and you miss me?" You could hear something in his voice now. Something different. A floaty tone that lifted his voice up higher as it danced through your ears. He sounded almost flattered that you would dare to be so miserable because you missed him. You wanted to hit him. How dare he make you love him so much? How could he do this to you? You were miserable and he was flattered.

You could feel your lips steady themselves and you lifted your chin in defiance. He couldn't even see you as you did it but the small declaration made you feel better.

He did this to you. He was the one who made you love him and turned you so weak. You stared ahead at the _Baekhyun_ shirt that hung on your closet door. The one you wore to the concert. The one he saw you wear and the one that made his face light up like a fucking Christmas tree when you wore it. That was the night he told you he loved you. That was the night that you began to realize that your own feelings for him went deeper than a little fling with a charming boy who had a pretty face and a sexy body.

You wrinkled your nose and wondered if Minah would let you borrow the _Chanyeol_ shirt for the fan meeting tomorrow. Part of you wanted to be spiteful. You pictured the scene. You walking up to shake his hand and his eyes would drop down to read the name on your chest and his smile would fade and flatline. His jaw would clench and his eyes would harden as he looked back up at you with a raised eyebrow.

No, no, no. You wouldn't be that person. You wouldn't play silly childish games with him. You were never much for games. You admonished yourself for even thinking that.

"Yes Oppa, I was crying because I miss you. I'm feeling a little emotional lately but don't worry it's probably just hormones. I'll be fine, I promise. Don't worry about me." Your voice was steadier now and you heard the sigh on the other end of the line.

"Me too," he said nearly immediately after you had spoken. His admission sounded desperate. Just as desperate as you had been feeling.

"Me too," he repeated after a brief pause. "I miss you too. I miss you so fucking much ... sometimes I think about doing something stupid and risky and..." He trailed off and you definitely heard the desperation in his voice. Your ears perked up and your mind snapped to attention as your stomach flipped at his voice.

Why did he sound like that? He sounded as if he had already done the stupid and risky thing he was only thinking about doing. You glanced at the clock. It was late. Really late. It was nearly 2 in the morning and you knew they practiced until very late and he should be in bed getting some rest right now, not contemplating stupid, risky things.

"Baby?" He said in that same voice. Something in that voice that rang in your ear had you standing up from the bed you had been sitting on.

"Baby, I think I feel like doing something risky." He was talking in your ear. His voice was so low, you felt your skin prickle at the sound in your ear. You quickly pushed your pajamas off, grabbed the skirt you had been wearing before you got ready for bed and slipped it on. You pulled on a shirt over the tank you had been wearing and you made your way down the hallway of your home as silently as you could move.

You reached the bottom of the stairs and pushed at the side door that led into the alley way open and peered out, half expecting to see his dark figure complete with coat and face mask waiting for you. The alley was empty and you peered out into the darkness of the night. A street lamp flickered and a cat ran down the alley.

You heard him sigh heavily into the phone and his voice let out a low moan that curled around your neck, bringing your blush up your cheeks and heating your face. How could someone simply breathing sound so sexy? He had to be doing this to you on purpose.

"Your skirt is a little short, love." You could hear his breathing increase with his bold words and your eyes scanned around the deserted street. A few cars were parked in the distance but you saw no signs of him.

Your eyes caught a flash. A fancy black sports car flashed it's lights, illuminating he night for a second like a lightening flash before the darkness overtook it again. Your heart thumped wildly inside your chest.

He was here for you and your legs were moving on their own as they carried you quickly to where the car waited.

The windows were tinted. Darker than you'd seen on any car before and in the blackness of the night you couldn't even make out the shape of a person sitting inside. As you drew closer you could hear the hum of the engine's idle. You could smell the exhaust as the engine hummed and when you stood in front of the passenger door you heard the click as the locks disengaged for you. Your hand pulled at the handle and you quickly slipped inside, sliding across the leather seat that felt cool against the bare skin of your thighs. Your phone was still on with the call and you quickly hung up as you closed the car door.

There was another click as the doors locked you inside and you looked to your left to see his face. His eyes watched you with the kind of intensity that only Byun Baekhyun was capable of. The kind of intensity that ignited a fire inside your belly and made you want to jump with him. You'd do anything with him looking at you like this.

"Hi," he said quietly. The innocuous word didn't match the heated look he was giving you right now in the dark intimate space of his car.

"This is a bad idea. What if someone saw you driving here? Didn't you come straight from practice? What if they know your car? I've seen the fan sites go to some pretty crazy extremes, Oppa." You couldn't help your nagging tone. You had so many very real worries for him that you couldn't just let him do something so reckless. If he got away with it once he'd think he could do it all the time and it was just a matter of time before he was caught.

"No one saw me. I promise," he said quickly. He watched your face closely and tilted his head to the side as a small smile graced his lips.

You sighed and relented. What choice did you have? He was here and you greedily took in his face illuminated by the car's instrument panel lights in the darkness as if you'd been starved of him for years.

It had only been a week. What the hell were you going to do when school started and he went on tour? He was gone for weeks on end last time he went on tour. How would you survive this?

"So where are we going then?" You finally asked with a concealed smile behind your eyes. You wondered if they were puffy from your tears.

You saw his smile grow on his face and you saw his pretty white teeth. His tongue darted out to lick his lips once and he shrugged at you.

"You were my only destination, love." His eyes bore into yours and his gaze was unfaltering. He blinked steadily and rhythmically and your heart thumped inside your chest as you felt the effects of his words. Your own eyes couldn't hold the intensity of his gaze and you dropped them as your lids closed and you inhaled a deep breath. You felt dizzy and maybe a little oxygen was just what you needed.

A sound brought you out of your own struggle to cope. The sound of his seat sliding back. When you opened your eyes you saw that he sat far away from the steering wheel, the back of his seat rested against the leather of the back row of seat now.

"Come over here, please."

You didn't have a single inclination to resist his request as you leapt out of your own seat and crawled across the space between the front seats, over the shifter and center console. You felt his hands at your waist and lower on your hips as you moved over his body. You found yourself seated in his lap, straddling him wth your knees bent on both sides of his hips. You rested your hands on his shoulders, sliding over the broadness of them to rest near his neck. He was warm. He was looking at you and he was yours.

His pretty face was right in front of you, looking up at you and you felt his hands slip lower, below your skirt. His warm hands left trails over your skin as he kneaded and squeezed up high on your hips, around to your ass. His eyes were on yours and then they were on your lips and his powerful gravity pulled you down into him.

His lips were made to be kissed. They were warm and soft and the wetness of his tongue invited yours inside his mouth to play. He was suction and nibbles and moans into you and you melted and sank and caved where he took you into him. When you turned it back on him, biting down with your own teeth roughly and sucking hard on his lips you heard the whiney whimper from his throat. You heard him caving and giving in to your mouth as you took what you wanted from him. When he gave you his tongue to suck on, the movements of your hips over his lap mirrored the pace of your mouth and he was moaning into you.

The effect of him was instantaneous. His spell was powerful and undeniable and the pulsing flood between your legs told you just how badly you needed him right now. Just how long had you gone without this before? Why was the pull to him so much stronger now since the night you'd woken up in bed with him? How was it possible for you to be this addicted to his touch?

It was that touch and those hands that were clinging to you now. His fingers dug into your thighs and you felt him pulling you down against him. You felt his cock there, harder than he should feel for simply making out with you, but the week must have been difficult on him too.

His hands moved. The desperate urgency took over and he gave up the fight as you felt his mouth pop away from yours and his hands were on his waist, popping he button on his jeans. You heard a zipper slide down and you rose up off of him as he wiggled below you. You saw the tremble in his hands as he lifted his hips to push his pants down and your eyes caught the movement as he freed his rigid erection. Red, shiny at the tip and rock hard he wrapped his fingers around his shaft, holding it up right and you felt his hands between your legs as his fingers pushed your panties aside.

He ran the head of his cock up your slit, slipping around within your wetness to your entrance. You lowered yourself and you felt him slip inside as you sank down his entire length. He filled you and his moans complimented your gasps and filled your ear drums with the sounds of sex. Soon the silent space of the car was filled with the sinful music of your love. The satisfying of the needs you both were slaves to. Rhythmic grunting, moans and the sloppy sounds of frantic kisses. You bounced on his lap in the tight confines of the driver's seat and his hands moved to your shirt as he quickly pushed it up and over your head. His mouth found your breasts and his hands kneaded them together as he buried his face between them. Your hips rocked against his cock and when you rolled your hips you felt the jolt of pleasure as his dick rubbed against your walls inside.

His mouth opened wide over your nipple and the heat of his mouth surrounded your nub. He sucked hard and his teeth but down, holding your nipple between his teeth as he worried it back and forth. The sensation sent a shiver and a jolt coursing through your body. When he did it again, harder, you felt the flash of pain that was immediately replaced with a stronger jolt of pleasure as his teeth released your nipple. The moisture from his mouth cooled over your skin, making goosebumps erupt against your flesh. Your hips rocked again on his cock. Over and over you rode him and the pressure of your release wound tightly inside of you. His mouth moved to the other side, your other nipple and he bit down again. Your back arched and you pushed into him, sending your breasts into his face, closer to where his teeth bit down against your nipple. The pain flared again and you whimpered as he sucked hard. Too hard, you cried out and when his mouth released your flesh, a tingle of intense pleasure lingered. Stronger than last time. You wanted more. You ran your fingers around his neck and gripped tightly as you pulled his face back into your chest.

His tongue licked a trail over your breast to find your nipple again in the darkness and when his open mouth sank down hungrier this time you gasped out loud as he bit down harder. You saw white and you screamed. His jaws snapped and his hips bucked hard into you. His teeth released your flesh and the suction from his mouth followed patterned the pace he fucked into you with. Steady and rhythmic until the pace faltered and stuttered. You froze in place and you tightened all around him. You lost the fight over your body as you came hard over and around his cock below you.

The suction of his mouth was lost when he threw his head back and bucked into you firmly as he trembled below you. With a loud whiney moan you felt him cum inside you in bursts and spasms of heat and he held you down tightly over his lap until his trembling subsided and his head fell forward.

You felt strong arms constrict tightly around your waist and he pulled you into him. His face buried in your neck and you looked down to see your hair cascading over his head. You felt his lips at your skin and his breath against your neck. Small kisses and deep breaths and small nibbles against your skin made your mind cloudy and fuzzy as he squeezed tightly around you. You could still feel him inside you, softer now but the way he held on tightly to you, kept you from leaving his lap.

So you stayed. You let your body relax on him and you closed your eyes as he held you close and breathed you in. Your fingers ran slowly through his hair in long swipes and you heard his appreciative moans.

"Now I feel like I can live again." He moaned into your hair. You hummed your response in agreement. Your intense addiction to this man had been temporarily satisfied.

He suddenly pulled away from you and looked up. His eyes sparkled in the dim light from the street lamps outside. Even in the sparse lighting you could still see the fatigue on his face. The dark circles under his eyes and his sunken cheek bones were obvious. He should be asleep right now. He had been working too hard for too long. He looked exhausted. Despite the exhaustion you saw on his face, you saw an undeniable happiness there that illuminated his pretty features and made them pop out at you. You studied his face, waiting for him to speak after the sudden movement, you knew he was about to tell you something. Your mind half paid attention as he slid out of you completely when you shifted and you saw a tiny wince on his eyes as you moved over his sensitive spent member.

"You're still coming tomorrow right?" A hopeful tone in his quiet voice made you smile reassuringly at him and his lifted brows sank and relaxed.

"Of course. I have my borrowed EXO shirt like the good pseudo-fan that I am. I've even been practicing my 'Baekhyun Oppa!' chant. I'm getting really good at it" you saw his smile widen in amusement and he bit down on his lips to try and control it.

"I can't be your boyfriend tomorrow okay? Don't be upset if I don't pay attention to you or look at you much. I can't, there are too many eyes watching. Someone is always watching. Even the smallest gestures can be misconstrued as having some deep hidden meaning. I'll have to be really careful." Your smile fell a bit and you nodded in understanding. Of course you understood. You had to. Tomorrow you'd be just another fan. Just like the hordes of them who would show up, lined up with their shirts and banners and merchandise.

"That's partly why I had to come see you tonight." He admitted after a pause. His eyes roamed over your face and you felt his hand reach up to caress your face as he looked at you.

"I've been feeling so desperate. Honestly, I don't think I'd be able to do it tomorrow if I didn't get to see you tonight." His eyebrow ticked upward and you saw the glint of mischief in his eyes. You leaned forward and kissed his lips quickly, earning a tiny smile that you felt against your mouth.

"I think you did more than just see me, Oppa," you said, knowingly. His smile widened further against your lips. You felt the chuckle in his chest before his voice dropped and he moved his lips closer to your ear. You felt his hand snake around up high on your shoulders, squeezing around the back of your neck as he spoke to you in a dangerously low whisper.

"Fine, do you want me to say it? I've been so desperate to fuck you this week." You felt your skin prickle and your face burn at the words he whispered into your ear. His fingers tightened their hold around your neck and your eyes drifted closed. You felt a twitch between your legs and you could feel his cum flowing out of you, soaking your panties.

"I want nothing more than to spend hours with my dick inside of you. I want to feel you squeezing around me as you cum over and over again. I want my hands around your neck. I want your mouth on my dick. I want my cum on your face and in your hair and on your tits. I want to eat you and I want you to cum on my face, in my mouth, I want to drink you up." Your eyes were closed and your lips parted as he spoke. You felt drunk. You let his words affect you and your skin hummed with a burning sensation that threatened to consume you whole.

"This is what you do to me. I wake up thinking about fucking you, with my dick so hard it hurts until I cum in the shower. With your face in my mind and the memory of how good it feels to fuck you. It happens over and over, all day long until I feel like I might just explode if I can't have you again."

"So yes, baby, I honestly, do not think I would be able to do it tomorrow if I didn't see you tonight." You felt it. The weight of his words. The shock of his honesty and it turned something inside you. The image of him stroking himself as he thought of you flooded your thoughts and you felt more affected than you ever imagined you would be at the thought. You felt even more affected than when you touched yourself thinking of him at night. The realization that he did the same hit you hard.

So you turned into him as you found his lips and pressed yours roughly up against his mouth.

"I want you to call me the next time you touch yourself Oppa. I want to hear you cum for me." You pulled your face back and you looked at his face as his eyes closed and he nodded his head in agreement and understanding. His silent promise filled you with a fresh wave of excitement for what was to come from your boyfriend.

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You spent the next morning getting ready. Your mom knew you would be going to an EXO fan meeting and she spent the morning playing their new album a little too loudly on the TV. A bright smile on her face and a dance in her step as she busied herself around the living room cleaning.

You emerged from your bedroom wearing white skinny jeans and the EXO shirt. It was a little big on you but you didn't care, it said Baekhyun on it and you had to wear it. You'd spent a little more time than usual on your makeup and hair and you felt pretty. Cute. Sexy even.

"Mom I'm going now," you shouted over the loud music that blared through your living room and your mom nodded and smiled in your direction.

"Give my son-in-law my greetings!" She sing-songed over the noise from the tv and you rolled your eyes at her words. "Or don't, I don't care. I already texted him this morning. He knows I'm thinking of him."

"Mom, don't text him so much! He's busy!" You whined your complaint, feeling the embarrassment for your mom's adoration of your boyfriend.

"He's not too busy to reply to my text messages, unlike you, he actually spends time to send lots of hearts and smileys." She was nagging now, criticizing your tendency to completely ignore most of her texts, while simultaneously bragging about the sweetness of their relationship. You sighed the deepest sigh and resisted the urge to confiscated her phone and delete his contact information. You didn't need a fight with her right now. So you simply gave up and rushed out of your home.

Dahee and Minah were at the venue waiting for you. The excitement radiated off of them along with the other fans who swarmed around. You felt your own excitement level rising as you were affected by the fans around you. There was a sort of camaraderie forming between the groups of people who waited in line. You noticed the fan meeting was much smaller and more intimate feeling than the giant concert you had seen at the Dome.

Baekhyun had left tickets in your name at the box office window and you noticed one extra lanyard with a pass on it that came with the tickets. There was a small note with your name on a sticky note with the lanyard and you quickly wrapped the long strap around the pass and stuffed it deep inside your pocket for safe keeping. Did he expect you to go back stage? That's definitely what this pass looked like. But how could you? You couldn't imagine being able to just waltz back stage at such a busy event as if you belonged there. Were you to find their dressing room and just knock on the door like a fucking weirdo? What was he thinking?

With tickets in your hand you made your way back to the line where Minah and Dahee were chatting with a group of other fans. The discussion was on the newest music video that had just dropped and the mood was light and festive. Eventually the line began moving and fans were let inside. The tickets had seat numbers on them and once again you found yourself seated in the front row on the right hand side of the stage that had a long table set up with 9 seats. There were cups of markers and bottles of water at each seat and you sat down and waited for something to happen.

You felt a buzz in your pocket and pulled out your phone finding a text waiting from your boyfriend.

_"Did you get the pass?~"_

_"Yes. I thought I wasn't your girlfriend today, Oppa. Why did you give me a backstage pass?"_

_"After the event, excuse yourself and put on the pass. No one will say anything to you if you have the pass on - so don't be nervous. Take the door off stage left and follow the hallway all the way down to the end. Take the first two rights. The 1st room on the left will be empty. Text me when you get there, okay? Our dressing room is next door and I'll come get you."_

You looked up to see a staff member emerging from behind the stage and you quickly put your phone away, unable to respond to Baekhyun's message since the fan meeting was starting. The staff member began talking to the audience, explaining the rules and process of the fan meeting. Your group would be coming last and you internally groaned that you'd have to wait until the entire group had greeted everyone. After the greeting, the EXO would perform a few songs for the fans before the meeting would be concluded.

Suddenly your focus shifted as the crowd of fans cheered and applauded. The members of EXO began emerging from behind the curtain. They each bowed and introduced themselves to applause before they took a seat at the table.

As expected, Baekhyun was seated on the right side of the stage. His eyes found you instantly and you smiled a wide smile at him, waving excitedly as all the other fans did. You didn't have to pretend not to be excited to see him. You saw his face pull into a breathtaking smile that showed all his teeth and his eyes wrinkled and formed adorable half moons. He waved at you briefly before his eyes left yours and he continued to wave and greet the various faces of fans around the auditorium.

The staff members ushered fans into lines as they held picture books and albums to sign. Most of the fans had small gifts to give to their favorite members and you smiled at the eye contact and intimate attention each member gave their fans. You knew it had to be exhausting, but their faces were light and friendly. You really could feel the gratitude rolling off them for the love of their fans.

Between greeting fans, signing books, and receiving gifts with a sweet smile, Baekhyun would occasional glance your way. His eyes would drift, almost as if he was unable to help himself and didn't even realize he was doing it. You were watching him of course, you were right in front of him so it wasn't exactly hard to do. You could see him up close, yet he felt completely out of your reach. Next to him sat another member, the tall one who Dahee told you was named Sehun. As you waited, your eyes drifted to the faces of the other members. They were all so familiar, you'd seen so much of them, yet they were strangers to you.

When your eyes turned back to Baekhyun he was talking to a fan, you saw a high five and a sweet smile. He was flirty and adorable but you knew it was all part of his show. It had to be. Your eyes drifted when you felt someone watching you. It wasn't Baekhyun, he was busy. But the feeling was strong and wouldn't let up. When you looked to the right of where Baekhyun sat you made eye contact with the other member who seemed to be watching you intently.

It was Sehun. The tall handsome one with the dark hair and the pretty face. He seemed lost in his thoughts a bit as he stared at your face but his eyes were unfocused. Eventually, after a bit of a long awkward staring game his eyes seemed to focus and he realized that you were looking at him. You saw him flinch and a small smile took over his face, transforming his features from what, frankly, was a resting bitch face, into a sweet friendly face that drew your own smile. Your smile was small. It was polite and lasted only a second before a fan appeared in front of him and his attention was pulled to the young girl in front of him.

Your group was moving now, after what felt like the longest waiting game ever, you were finally up to meet the group. You started at the far end, away from where Baekhyun sat fidgeting in his seat as he played with the marker in his hands. You could tell he was a bit more keyed up now that you were coming near him than he had been when you were merely sitting in the audience watching. You knew him well enough to pick up on his nervous cues. You had a picture book from the album that your mom of all people bought and made you bring for autographs today. She wasn't trying to help you fit in She wanted the autographs for herself. She said she wanted to get to know her _son-in-law's_ friends better and you just sighed in defeat.

You felt a bit embarrassed that you didn't know everyone's name, but you settled on simply saying a small "Hi" to each one as they flipped through your book and signed their respective pictures.

"What name should I write?" One of them asked with lifted brows and a wide smile that looked like a Cheshire Cat grin. His smile was incredible actually and you instantly felt welcomed by him. The open picture said the name 'Chen' and you shrugged a shy smile.

"Actually it's for my mom. She's a huge fan of EXO." You winced and his smile widened. You heard him giggling at your admission and he began writing a message in the book to your mom.

"Well thanks for coming for your mom. She's lucky to have such a pretty daughter." You saw him wink and you felt your blush color your face. They probably said that to all the fans.

You moved through the members with bits of small talk here and there. Some asked who your bias was. You admitted shyly that you didn't really have a bias. You were within earshot of Baekhyun and you saw his face tick in your direction for a split second before he turned his attention back to Minah who stood in front of him. He smiled a friendly knowing smile at her and she thanked him for the fan meeting. His response was a quick finger up to his lips, indicating that she shouldn't let on that he provided the tickets.

"But you're wearing Baekhyun's shirt, doesn't that mean that he is your bias?" The man in front of you with the pretty face was asking with wide eyes and a sweet smile that showed both top and bottom teeth. You really looked at him and were taken aback at just how handsome he actually was. What in the world was with these men? They looked prettier than you on any given day of the week.

"Okay, yeah I guess Baekhyun is alright. Honestly this isn't my shirt. I borrowed it." You said flippantly with just a touch of your usual sarcastic delivery and you heard coughing from Baekhyun's spot at the table and snickering from the member you were chatting with. You saw him roughly patting Baekhyun's back as your boyfriend swatted his hand away and grabbed his water. You heard laughter from some of the others at the table as well and you turned to see eyes on your back. You realized you were the last fan in line and some of the others looked around as they waited for you to reach the last member. Most of them were paying a bit of attention to the exchange.

"Honestly you all are so beautiful, how could I possilbly be expected to choose one bias?" You added with a grin as he returned your book, open to the picture with the name 'Suho' that now sported a sweet message and a signature.

You took a step to the right and stood in front of your boyfriend. His eyes dropped to the shirt you wore that read Baekhyun and he grabbed your photo book quickly flipped through to find his picture. He was quiet and you saw him clenching down on his teeth as he wrote a message in the book.

"That's for my mom Oppa. Don't write anything weird." You said quietly and you saw his eyebrows lift briefly as he wrote. "I know it's for your mom. You're not our fan right?" He whispered and you nodded. Dahee had just finished up with Sehun who sat next to Baekhyun and as Baekhyun wrote in your book you looked up to find Sehun's eyes on you again. He had that same blank look that you saw earlier as he looked at your face. Only this time you saw the smile appear on his face right away and he glanced down quickly and smiled, mostly to himself. You saw it. You saw his cheeks darken just a shade and your brows furrowed a microscopic amount when you saw the blush.

Then you saw his eyes focus back on yours and he watched your face again. Friendly. Sweet. Inviting. Sehun's expression was all of these and you blinked it away. Feeling suddenly nervous under his gaze. When you turned to look in front of you, you expected to find Baekhyun looking down at your book as he wrote but what you saw made you swallow nervously. Baekhyun's eyes were focused to the right as he watched Sehun's face.

Then, with an agonizingly slow pace, his eyes moved and turned to yours. You watched as he followed Sehun's gazed and looked directly at your face as he did it. You cleared your throat noisily and forced your smile. Casual was your intent. It was nothing. Sehun was just watching you because you were next and he was anxious for this fan meeting to be over. That's all it was.

You felt Baekhyun's fingers brush yours as he returned your book and you bowed lightly and thanked him for his signature.

The small step to your right felt gigantic but you forced your legs to move.

You lifted your eyes and met the eyes of the tall handsome man who sat in front of you. His eyes hadn't left yours and he blinked slowly as he pursed his lips. You saw him lick his lips and bite down lightly against his bottom lip and your eyes couldn't help but track the movement. From the corner of your eye you were half aware that Baekhyun was staring at you. You glanced up and met his eyes. His face was blank. You knew it was a forced blankness and the lack of his usual bright smile gave him away so obviously you had to keep your eye roll in check.

Was he serious? This? A simple smile and blush from Sehun and he was acting this way again?

Enough already. You felt your own temper flare at the way Baekhyun glared at you, watching your interaction with his band member like a hawk eyeing its prey.

"So I heard you don't have a bias yet." You heard Sehun's voice speaking to you and you quickly turned your attention in front of you. You heard the friendly tone. You saw the ghost of a smile on his lips and you watched as his eyes blinked slowly at you.

"Not yet, Oppa," you said in your sweetest voice, doing an impression of a young interested fan and you saw his eyes light up as he leaned forward, closer to you.

"Oppa? Am I your Oppa? How do you know that if you aren't really our fan?" You heard the definite flirting tone in his voice and you giggled despite yourself. You couldn't help it. He was actually quite adorable when he wanted to be. Once he got past the bitch face, you could hear a bit of sassy undertones that you instantly liked.

"You look like an Oppa to me. You're so tall and mature." You lifted your brows and there was a definite scoff that sounded out next to Sehun. You might have even hear the word _mature_ repeated back in a sarcastic mumble.

You saw Sehun's cheeks darken just a shade and he nodded his head as he bit down on his lip. Clearly affected by your compliment. You saw him uncap his marker and pull the book in your hands toward him. You definitely felt his fingers brush against yours as he did it and you swallowed nervously, refusing to look to your left.

You saw him quickly sign his name and he reached for a small note pad of paper that sat next him. You watched curiously as he began to write something on the note pad. From your vantage point you couldn't quite make out what he was writing but he stuck the paper inside the book and quickly closed it. His hand was extended as he held the book in front of him and you were about to reach for it when it suddenly vanished.

Sehun's eyes widened and yours widened as the book was taken quickly from both of your grasps. Your followed the book and you saw a quickly moving Baekhyun flipping through the book as he held it tightly inside his hands. You noticed his hands seemed to be trembling as he flipped through the pages to the one with Sehun's picture and the yellow sticky note inside it.

"Hyung, what the hell?" You heard Sehun's whiney complaint directed at Baekhyun and he quickly removed the yellow sticky note from the book and crumbled it up tightly inside his clenched fist.

"She doesn't want your fucking number Sehun. She's not even your fan. She's just being nice. Leave her alone." Baekhyun's voice was hard and Sehun's mouth formed a tense line as he was quickly rebuked by the older man next to him.

"Why don't you let her make that decision for herself, Hyung?" Sehun complained and you furrowed your brows, suddenly uncomfortable at the odd spectacle you had somehow caused.

"Enough guys, give her the book. We need to perform." Suho was speaking up now and he grabbed the book from Baekhyun's tight fist and returned it to you with a apologetic smile on his face.

"I'm sorry about that miss. They don't mean any harm. Thank you for supporting EXO. You may take your seat now." Suho's voice was pleasant enough but held a sort of authority that somehow made you instantly take the book and nod your head as you quickly exited the stage and took your seat.

You sat down and looked back up at the stage, finding several sets of eyes on you. Of course Baekhyun's and Sehun's, but Suho's and several other members who's names evaded your memory also watched you curiously. You wished you weren't blushing so hard but you knew you had to be with as flustered as you felt right now.

Eventually the songs started and you half paid attention. You noticed Baekhyun of course. He performed with what looked like a little bit of a storm clould over his head. His smiles were forced, his dancing was clean and precise but he seemed irritated. You knew he was dwelling on what happened with Sehun during the fan meeting and you waited until the last song was done before you quickly rose up out of your seat.

Dahee and Minah were going to eat and you passed as you made up some excuse about needing to get home quickly. Once the two were out of your sight you slipped on the backstage pass and quickly made your way to the big burly security guard who stood in front of the door to the left of the stage.

His eyes glanced down at the pass around your neck and he stepped aside and opened the door for you, motioning for you to head inside. Your mind was a jumble of nerves and uncertainty but you carefully followed the path Beakhyun had instructed you to take. You still weren't sure what exactly he wanted you backstage for. It wasn't like he could march you around as his girlfriend. Your relationship was still supposed to be a secret after all. You walked on and sure enough the door he told you to enter opened up into an empty room.

You stepped inside and retrieved your phone to text Baekhyun. Before you could send the text you looked up to see the door to the room open. You'd recognize those eyes anywhere as he slipping inside the door and closed it with a loud click behind him. He turned to face you and you lowered your phone, no longer needing to text him when he was already here in front of you. He took a step closer to you, moving wordlessly and you noticed the tension you'd seen in his eyes at the fan meeting was still there.

”Oppa, why did you want me to come backst-" your words were cut off by his lips pressed roughly against yours and you felt yourself moving backwards as he pushed you up against the wall. His mouth was pushy and demanding. You gave in instantly, half aware of the roughness of his hands as they roamed over your body. The tension he felt was fueling his actions and you were such a sucker for his touch that you wanted to give him everything he wanted. The pull to him was so strong as you relented. His tongue pushed inside of your mouth and his teeth bit down on your lip, pulling against the flesh as he moved out. His hands roamed under your shirt and you moaned into his mouth as his hand squeezed roughly over your breast.

You could feel how he was affected when he pressed his body up against yours and you couldn't help your own roaming hands that sought out his warm skin. You slipped fingers under his shirt, pushing up as you went. Your heart pounded loudly, echoing through your ears mingling with his breathy moans that sounded out in the quiet space you both occupied.

"Hyung! I think I saw him go in h-" a low voice called out and the door opened wide. The person who stood in the doorway stopped speaking instantly when he took in the sight in front of him. You gasped and instantly pulled away from Baekhyun who had a similar startled reaction as he spun quickly on his heels and pulled his hands out from under your shirt. Your surprise was no match for the shock on Sehun's face as he stood dumbfounded looking at Baekhyun, before he looked right into your eyes.

You saw it. There was instant understanding in his eyes when he recognized you from the fan meeting. Understanding of Baekhyun's reaction when he crumbled up the note with his number written on it. There was understanding tinged with a bit of disappointment. He closed his lips and furrowed his brows for a second before his face leveled and blanked out. Hiding all emotions expertly as if they had never even been there in the first place.

"Yah, why are you just standing there did you find him or not?" A low voice rang out and Sehun looked behind him as another face came into view. You recognized the bright red hair of the other rapper of the group. Chanyeol if you remembered correctly took a step next to Sehun and looked into the room at the pair of you. You looked over at Baekhyun and noticed your lipstick was smudged around his mouth and his hair was ruffled. His face was flushed and he was breathing hard through parted lips. His shirt was in disarray and it was plain as day as to what you two were up to in this empty room. You quickly lifted your hand up to his mouth and wiped the light pink color that was smudged along his bottom lip. He lifted his hands and wiped his mouth with his open palm. You saw his face take on a nervous look. He wrinkled his nose and squinted in the direction of both of his members who stood silently at the doorway.

"Yeah. I found him." Sehun said as he spun quickly on his heels and vanished from the doorway, leaving a stunned Chanyeol to deal with the discovery on his own. You heard the door next door slam shut and you felt the vibration of it in the wall that your back still rested against.

"Umm..Chanyeol, uhh..." Baekhyun bumbled through some words next to you and you looked over at him with worried eyes. He sighed in frustration as he steadied his voice and with his eyes closed. You looked over at the tall red head who watched you both with wide eyes.

You heard Baekhyun find his voice again as he spoke next to you.

"Chanyeol, I told you I wanted you to meet someone today...well this is my girlfriend."


	14. Chapter 14

Your hand was lifted and sandwiched between two giant hands and you were met with an enthusiastic grin with way too many teeth. The guy was too tall and he crouched down in front of you to meet your gaze as your boyfriend, Baekhyun shuffled on his feet next to you.  
  
The arousal from your interrupted make out session was snuffed out instantly at the horror of being discovered by his band mates and the tall one with the bright red hair named Chanyeol was now speaking in his booming voice at you.

“Ahhh so you're the girlfriend! I saw you at the fan meeting, you said you didn't have a bias right?” His voice was friendly and his personality was bubbly and welcoming. You found yourself smiling in response and you looked at your boyfriend again.

“She's not a fan. How can she have a bias if she isn't a fan.” Baekhyun spoke up, addressing Chanyeol's question to you. You took your hand back, not quickly as not to offend the friendly guy but just so he would stop pumping it up and down like he was doing.

“It's nice to meet you Chanyeol. I have to admit I'm not very familiar with the group-“ your words were cut short by the door opening back up and a shorter man with pink hair entering the room. You recognized him from the fan meeting, he was the one who was so pretty you questioned everything about your entire existence when you saw him up close and in person. You remembered the name on his picture said Suho. You saw that he was followed by Sehun who stood a half a foot taller than him and entered the room, quietly closing the door behind them both. Something in Sehun's face flashed guiltily in your direction. It was the tiny wince on his face that did it. As quickly as it flashed it disappeared and he stilled his features.

The other two in the room with you spun around when the door opened and their faces held the same surprised expression that you sported at the sudden intrusion.

“Shit,” you heard the smallest curse leave Baekhyun's lips next to you and he shifted apart from you just a bit. Just enough for you to feel the heat of his arm leave your side.

Suho's eyes were wide and he had a big smile glued to his face. The smile didn't reach his eyes and the contrast made his pretty face look just a bit crazed. Your eyes flitted around the room to the other members.

Sehun's face was blank. You caught the movement in his jaw that clenched down and his eyes shifted over to yours for a second before he blinked away the eye contact and looked straight behind you into nothing.

Chanyeol shifted on his feet and he lifted a hand to rub the back of his neck.

Baekhyun was nervously shifting his eyes between you and Suho while rocking on his heels. His arms crossed over his chest defensively. His eyes narrowed and he wrinkled his nose as he shook his head a tiny amount.

Baekhyun had never intended for you to meet Suho today. This much was obvious. You were going to be introduced to his friend Chanyeol and then probably sent on your way, but from the looks of the situation, Sehun had gone to tell Suho that Baekhyun had someone he had to meet. You wondered if Suho knew about the girlfriend part. Or about the caught making out like a couple of sex crazed fiends part.

“Baekhyun, I hear you brought a friend.” Suho said. His voice had a falsely chipper tone that made your stomach churn just enough to let you know this wouldn't be an entirely pleasant meeting.

Baekhyun straightened out his posture next to you and lifted his chin. He bit down on his lip and was that a twitch in his eye?

“Suho, this is my girlfriend.” He said calmly and carefully and the pretty face with the crazed smile made absolutely no motion to look at you. He was watching Baekhyun intently.

“Can I have a word with you for a moment Baekhyun?” Suho said quietly and you saw the smile falter. For a second Suho glanced your way and blinked quickly before you heard him direct his words at you.

“It's nice to meet you, I'm Suho, the leader of EXO, I'm just going to have a word with Baekhyun, excuse me.” He said it all so quickly your brain took a moment to actually process his words and by the time you realized what was said the two had taken up a spot on the other side of the room.

They weren't far away enough for their conversation to be completely private and the other two members stood with their backs to them and arms over their chests as they waited. The expressions on their faces betrayed just how awkward the situation had turned.

You heard the questions, Suho asking Baekhyun about how long he's been seeing you, about how serious he was, about how many risks he was planning on taking and following up with how much trouble this would cause for the group should word get out that he was dating. You heard nagging that he would dare bring you backstage and even more nagging about being caught by a group member in such a compromising situation. You heard lots of what if’s. What if he was caught by a fan. What if he was caught by a staff member. What if he was caught by someone other than a friend. Suho reminded and nagged and ranted about how idols were not afforded the same luxuries as regular people were when it came to freedom and love. And you heard the implications. You heard the threat in his voice and you understood what he was saying.

You heard him, saying it without outright saying it.

If Baekhyun knew what was good for him, and what was good for the group, he would end this now before he got in too deep. Wasn't that it? Keeping things casual was okay but falling in love was bad news? Being caught as an ‘idol in love’ was career suicide. Not just for his own career but the effects on the group would be huge. It would be disastrous. Why else he was Suho even bothering to warn him so harshly now? Get caught and it was over for everyone. Not just Baekhyun, for all of EXO.

You felt a stupid guilt building inside your belly. The sensation made you feel gross. You didn't like this. You felt somehow responsible for this. Showing up here, tempting him like this. You dropped your eyes to stare at your feet, trying not to let you face betray the shitty feeling that was building inside you.

Baekhyun had stopped responding about halfway into Suho's rant and when the leader of the group was done saying his piece you saw him storm out of the room, slamming the door behind him just a bit too hard.

So what was the message? Don't get caught? Break it off? End things now? Give up on this love?

You caught the look in Sehun's eyes now. Was that regret? His face which was usually so calm looked troubled now, perhaps he regretted letting Suho in on Baekhyun's secret. Had he told him on purpose? You didn't know much about Sehun but the idea that he had someone tattled to Suho flashed in your mind. You looked at the taller man for a bit longer and you saw his eyes look at you for a moment. The regret was obvious in his face. You wondered what part he regretted and it didn't help your mood any.

The churning in your stomach made you feel uncomfortable.

This was a mistake. You should not have come backstage. You should've just gone out to eat with Minah and Dahee instead of taking this stupid risk. You didn't belong in this world. This was Byun Baekhyun’s world, the idol and celebrity and lead vocalist of EXO, international sensation. This wasn't where you belonged at all.

You could feel your shoulders slump and you closed your eyes briefly as you tried to steady your emotions.

You suddenly wanted to leave. You could feel it inside, the desire to flee this space and this world and return to your own little life outside of all of this nonsense. You never even wanted this to begin with. You had been so careful and resistant to it and yet here you were, hopelessly in love with this person who could never give himself to you the way you could give yourself to him. He just didn't have that freedom in his life. He was over extended and over obligated and his entire celebrity persona was claimed by the millions who consumed everything he had to offer them.

You felt like an idiot. Byun Baekhyun wasn't yours. He was just lending himself to you for a little while. He was only yours when he was in your bed and in your arms even that was temporary. He didn't belong to you and he could never fully be yours. Not in the way that other couples could make claims on each other.

Your mood was plummeting fast and the strange faces around you weren't helping at all. Both men near you, both too tall, both too imposing and both too handsome, you gripped the pass that hung around your neck tightly in one hand and you took a step toward the door. Both Sehun and Chanyeol blocked your way but you were smaller than both of them. You saw your escape and you took another step closer to the space between both of their bodies when you felt a hand grip your arm behind you.

You waited too long to make your escape and he caught you. He must have been watching you after Suho left and he knew you were about to bolt.

Baekhyun always knew too much about your moods.

“Please don't leave.” You heard him whisper in your ear and you spun around to face him. You couldn't do this with an audience. You couldn't have your own little break down with two people you didn't know watching you so closely.

“Hyung, I..” Sehun spoke up. You heard the regret in his voice and Baekhyun looked up into the eyes of the taller man who stood before him. The look Baekhyun shot at him stopped him mid sentence and he closed his mouth and looked up at the ceiling.  
The look stopped him for a moment but he had something to say, so he kept talking. Your ears hummed and you swallowed away the nothingness inside your mouth.

“Hyung, I'm sorry. I didn't think, I was just..surprised and I may have stormed back into our dressing room a bit too loudly…he cornered me and made me tell him what happened.” Sehun was still speaking, solidifying his story now, trying to emphasize how he had no intention for Suho to burst in and scold Baekhyun about his own love life.

  
Sehun inhaled a deep breath before he spoke again.  
“You're being careful thought right? You won't get caught?” You could hear the worry in Sehun's voice as he spoke and you closed your eyes, wishing you could be anywhere else.

“Of course he's being careful Sehun, you didn't know about this did you? I mean I suspected it because he was always on the phone, but there was nothing solid.” Chanyeol replied in his low voice, obviously taking Baekhyun's side in the discussion.

“It doesn't take anything solid for a scandal. It just takes one blurry photo from a fan or from the tabloids.” Sehun countered and you saw Baekhyun following their discussion without adding any of his own thoughts. His hands stayed gripped around your arm, preventing you from escaping like you wanted.

This wasn't a light, fun meeting of your boyfriend’s friends. This had turned into a discussion about scandals and tabloids. Things you really knew nothing about and they seemed to all be talking over you as if you didn't even exist. This was about the group. This was about their careers. This had nothing to do with you and you honestly didn't see the point of sticking around as they ignored you and planned for the worst.

“I'm going home. I can't do this anymore.” You turned and spoke to baekhyun quietly as the other two men continued their discussion.

You felt his hand tighten around your arm. His face was serious and his eyes stayed on yours as he watched your face. You saw him bite down on his lip as he worried it between his teeth and his eyebrows furrowed together. He shook his head at you.

“If you leave I can't go after you. There are fans everywhere.” He said softly and you could hear the fear in his voice. You could hear the worry that danced around your ears and made your eyes sting and burn. You frowned and shook your head.

“Then maybe this wasn't a good idea Oppa. What the hell were you thinking making me come back here? I don't belong here!” You couldn't help it. You snapped at him and you saw his frown deepen. His eyes roamed over your face and he took a step closer to you, positioning his body in between you and the other two men, effectively cutting them off completely from your view.

  
You noticed his hand dropped from your arm. Perhaps he sensed your delicate mood and didn't want to give you any reason to pull away, so he himself backed off.

“I was wrong okay? I'm sorry, please don't go. Don't leave when you're upset like this.” You could hear the thickness of his voice and you were half aware that the room was silent even though all you saw were his worried eyes.

Chanyeol and Sehun had stopped their side discussion and were watching the two of you.

“Can we have a minute?” Baekhyun spoke over his shoulder and you saw both men instantly move toward the door as they mumbled their agreement, quickly wanting to escape the awkwardness of witnessing this conversation any more than they already had.

The door opened and closed and you saw Baekhyun’s face as he turned his eyes back on you. His cheeks were flushed and pink, his pretty face looked so worried and his eyes were intense on you.

You saw a tremble in his lips and he inhaled a deep breath that he exhaled slowly over his parted lips.

  
His eyes looked scared and he reached a hand out toward you, slightly resting his fingertips along your forearm. The touch was cautious and matched the worry you saw in his pretty face.

“I-I know, this went really badly. I just wanted you to meet Chanyeol, he's my best friend, I didn't think….I mean, Sehun, he just…”

His words weren't working quite as he intended and you could see the frustration on his face and he lifted a trembling hand up to cover his mouth as he seemed to recall the events that led to him into this room. The memories flooded your mind. The flirting at the fan meeting. Sehun watching you, smiling at you, being sweet with you, trying to give you his number and Baekhyun overreacting in a rather public way as he intercepted the post it note and crumpled it up. You could see the wheels turning in his head and you saw his face fall as he looked up from his thoughts.

“S-Sehun was flirting with you..” He swallowed the thickness in his mouth and his eyes rolled around the room. He blinked rapidly and you felt your own stomach drop at the memory of his reaction. His jealousy.

Again and again.

Baekhyun's jealousy.

“I'm sorry, I….fuck...I was jealous again and I lost my mind. I lost my mind when I saw his fucking number written in that book and I, shit I almost fucked this all up right there, if Suho hadn’t….” You could feel the disconnect in his words as he relived the event. You saw his trembling hands and you heard his shaking breath.

“And then I saw you. I watched you walking down the hallway and I thought _“She's mine. She's mine. She's not his, she's fucking mine”_...like a spoiled fucking brat hoarding his toys so the other kids won't play with them. I'm just so fucking...why do I do this? Why can't I control myself with you? What the fuck is wrong with me?” His eyes watched you hard for a moment but they weren't seeing you anymore. His focus was gone as he spoke. You were quiet as you let him speak his piece. Your mind worked to process the words he was telling you. You felt overwhelmed and your mind was spinning too fast.

“I didn't even care! In that moment, I saw Sehun watching me. I knew that he saw me come in here and I knew that the door was unlocked.” He angled his face down. You saw guilt flash across his face before he looked down, hiding his expression from you entirely. You could see the rapid rise and fall of his chest and you could see the pink flush on his cheeks. From the unsteadiness of his voice you could tell that he was close to breaking down.

He saw? He saw Sehun and he knew the door was unlocked?

“A-and I knew that he would come in. I knew he would see us. Shit...baby, I'm so fucking sorry. This is my fault, I put you in this situation so he would catch us and now you're upset and I'm such a fucking asshole.”

You heard the first hiccuped cough and you saw his shoulders slump down. His head was shaking back and forth and you heard the sniffle in his nose.

Part of you wanted to comfort him. Part of you genuinely did, but his words were echoing around in your brain, tickling around your temper, making you realize something you hadn't considered.

_I knew he would see us….I put you in this situation so he would catch us…._

Baekhyun did this on purpose. He purposefully put himself in a position to be discovered by Sehun to show the younger man that you belonged to him.

That you were his fucking property.

You felt nauseous knowing he had done this. Not only did he intentionally set out to hurt Sehun, but he hurt you in the process with his childish jealousy.

The kiss wasn't even about you. He probably wasn't even thinking of you as he did it. Was that why it felt so different? Was that why he was so rough? Because there was no love behind it.

You felt sick.

“You used me.” You whispered over his head. He didn't respond immediately. His emotions too thick for words.

“W-Were you even...thinking about me as you kissed me, or was that all just….for him to see?”

He was crying now. The sound of it bothered your heart and made your thoughts cloudy.

“I'm so sorry.” He said between breaths.

He was crying. And he was sorry.

There was an echoing sound in your mind as he cried and you kept your fists tightened in balls at your side. The only movement was when you took a step backward so his fingertips that had been resting on your forearm fell off.

You heard a gasp and a louder cry break free from his chest when his hand fell and he quickly gripped his fallen hand with his other as he took a step back away from you. You saw his hands flying up to cover his face, either trying to stifle the sound or stop his emotions from taking over his body completely. His struggling made your heart ache the longer you watched it.

What should you do? What could you do? If you left now he would be miserable and would probably show up at some ungodly hour at your house. Forgoing sleep, exhausted and desperate for your touch.

If you caved and comforted him, he would do it again and again. Letting his jealousy consume every ounce of reason he had inside him and leading him to make stupid choices. Next time it might even be something much more public than what happened at the fan meeting.

You couldn't shake the anger at being used. As if you were some piece of property that he could treat however he wanted...love you sometimes...use you sometimes.

You wouldn't do it. You wouldn't be used by him like that. If you let it happen once where would it end? Did he really not get that? That you weren't a toy for him to use in his stupid jealousy games? The more you thought about it, the worse it hurt.

The desire to flee hit you hard and strong and you turned on your feet. The sick feeling inside your gut confounded by his weeping in front of you.

You spun on your heels and faced the door. You felt his fingers reach for you, gripping your wrist tightly and you didn't turn your head. The ache inside was too painful and were holding back your tears as best as you could. The burning in your eyes was sharp as you blinked hard, trying to keep them back.

“Please, I can't….I can't follow you. Please don't leave me, I can't follow you out there.”

When you pulled your wrist free you heard his strangled cry chipping away at your heart.

“No. Please, I'm sorry. Please stay with me.” he begged and you were half aware of the sound coming from lower. From down in the floor. You refused to look at him begging on his knees now. You couldn't do it. You gripped the door handle and pushed your legs to move with every ounce of strength you had left inside you and you heard the sounds of his strangled cries cut off by the sound of the door closing at your back.

You moved quickly. Your legs were already moving and once you stopped you wondered if they might never work again. You couldn't risk it. You were half aware of the tears falling down your face as you walked.

There was a sound behind you. The sound of your name being called out in a voice that was marginally familiar and against every bit of reason left in your brain your legs slowed to a stop. With an exhale you closed your eyes and dropped your head.

The voice drew closer and you looked up into the warm brown eyes that went from friendly to worried once they saw you.

“Oh shit, a-are you okay?” The low voice whispered closer to you and you felt a warm hand on your arm.

You wiped quickly at your face. Willing the tears to stop but you never answered the question. You felt yourself being guided and steered and warm words were echoed around you, soothing and sweet. Friendly and unassuming.

There was a bottle of water and a box of tissues and you found yourself seated in a small private room across from the nervous smile of Park Chanyeol. The tall one with the bright hair and friendly face. Baekhyun's best friend.

“D-Did you all fight? Because of what happened with Suho, or….was it…Sehun maybe?” He was speaking. He had been speaking quietly for a while and you were occupied with reigning in your emotions so you could somehow have a coherent discussion with Baekhyun's friend. From the way the man prodded and comforted it was clear how close of a friend he was. You could practically see the worry rolling off of Chanyeol in waves.

“You probably don't want to talk about it. I mean you don't even know me. And I know it's not even my business but …. He's my best friend. I'm just worried you know?” Something about the steady rhythm of his words was strangely comforting and you opened your water to drink as you looked up into his warm eyes.

He was still talking. You let him.

“I suspected he was in love you know. Something was different about him. Besides being on the phone a lot, he was different. Happier, but more than just happier. His, I don't know, his _soul_ felt happier. That's a stupid way to say it. I can't think of another way to say it. He just felt more complete, you know?”

You sniffed and ran the tissue over your eyes again. You wondered how puffy they would look now. You hadn't cried nearly as much as Baekhyun had.

_Baekhyun._

“Sehun.” You said quietly and his eyes widened at you. Suddenly surprised that you were speaking now. He lifted his brows and waited for you to explain.

“Baekhyun was jealous of Sehun. Because of what happened at the fan meeting.” You licked your lips and Chanyeol opened his mouth in surprise.

“Oh right, he tried to give you something right? I saw Baekhyun take it away but I didn't know what….oh shit did he try to give you his number? And Baekhyun was jealous because….you're his girlfriend.” His voice changed and you heard something that told you how much Chanyeol suddenly understood about the argument you had with your boyfriend a while ago.

“I-Is he….jealous a lot?” Chanyeol said quietly and carefully.

He knew something.

You nodded your head a small amount and his eyes were rolling around as he looked away from you suddenly and inhaled a deep breath. He shook his head on the exhale and you saw him struggling with something.

“I-I'm not trying to defend him. Or excuse his behavior by telling you this. I just want you to maybe understand the reason behind it.”

“He was...well he was hurt before. He was in a relationship with someone and she must have not loved him like he loved her. He was gone for a long time on tour and I remember him telling me that something suddenly felt off about her. She wouldn't respond to his texts much and the longer he was gone the worse he began to feel.”

“When he came back he surprised her and he found her with someone else. I thought he must've handled it okay because he seemed to bounce back pretty quickly. There were moments when he drank too much. Sometimes he drinks too much when he's very upset, but that was it. He got drunk a lot and then he seemed to just get over it. The members never even knew it had happened but I know him well. I know it hurt him. He's just good at hiding the pain from others.”

“Honestly we all are. Because we have to. It's harder to love.”

Your mind flashed back to Suho's words again. The reminder that his freedom to love you wasn't something that was available to him. He was a celebrity. An idol. He wasn't free to do the things that other people were free to do. It wasn't even really his choice. One little slip and it could all come crashing down. Like a clumsily built house of cards built in the back of a moving truck. Really it was just a matter of time before it did.

Every moment of his life was documented and watched by people who wanted a piece of him. They wanted his glance, or his words, or his smile. They wanted his voice and his touch and his attention.

But he loved you. You saw evidence of that love over and over. He was desperate for it. He wanted it so completely that you had no doubt in your mind of his sincerity. You could feel it in his eyes that watched your every mood. You could hear it in his voice that analyzed every tiny sound that escaped your lungs and could instantly gauge your mood. He was so in tuned to you that you somehow wondered how he had any room in his mind for anything else.

Yet he did it. He sang and danced and acted in movies and dramas and he did it all while still loving you and somehow making you feel wanted and needed and appreciated.

Chanyeol watched you as you both fell into a comfortable silence in the small room.

How long had it been since you left Baekhyun back in that room?

Would he still be there?

Was he still crying?

Had he thought you left him behind? Of course he did...you had left him behind.

There was a pulse inside your chest that urged you to stand and you dropped the things in your hands. The water bottle and the tissues went flying and you leapt from the chair you were in and quickly rushed to the door.

“Where are you…” Chanyeol called after you but you didn't stay. You exited and quickly made your way down a hallway, trying to find the room where you had left him behind. You were spun around but you recognized the long hallway that you had turned down. You recognized enough to orient yourself and you found the room.

As you pushed the door open you saw a figure. The room was silent and he was curled up against the wall with his head in his lap. From the silence in the room you knew that he wasn't crying anymore. Not outwardly. He was probably trying to reign in his emotions so he could leave this room and function like normal.

He heard the door open and his head lifted slowly. His eyes were swollen and red rimmed and his shocked expression at finding you back was evidence in his wide eyes and parted lips.

He didn't speak. His eyes followed you as came to his side and sat down on the floor next to him. You saw his eyes change and you saw the flash of hope.

Yet now as he sat broken down in front of you, you could feel your heart breaking for him.

Because you did love him.

You loved him more than you'd ever loved anyone and you hated this.

You didn't want him to hurt.

His jealousy. The desperate way he claimed you, was that just an effect of his fame or the pain of his past? For years and years he had been denied the one thing he ached for. His freedom to love someone and be loved back and now he had had a taste of it. He'd experienced it and just as deeply as you felt his absence the night after he left you bed, you were certain he was feeling the same constantly.

It was an all consuming panic inside him. A terror that his love could be snatched away from him at any moment.

You couldn't let him bear this fear alone.

It was also your own fear.

“You're back? You came back?” You heard his small voice and you felt his warmth as he leaned against you.

You nodded and you heard the exhale as he closed his eyes. He rubbed his face and dropped his hands as he reached for you. You felt him lower and he wrapped his arms around your waist where you sat on the floor next to him. He pivoted and you felt him curl himself around you, his head fell into your lap and his face nuzzled into your stomach as he squeezed his arms tightly around your waist pulling you into him on the floor. You felt his hot breath against your belly. His grip was so tight around you that you couldn't leave now even if you had wanted to.

You didn't.

You let your hands rub over his shoulders, feeling the warmth of him as you rubbed his back.

“I'm not going anywhere Oppa, even if I do have to go home soon, I need you to understand that I'm not _going_ anywhere? Do you understand what I'm saying? I'm not leaving you, I'm not going to vanish with some other guy, I'm not going to cheat on you, I'm not going to do that. I love you. I love you so fucking much even if you do stupid things all the time and make horrible decisions I love you. You're mine and I'm yours. Do you understand?”

He was nodding into your stomach. You felt the movement and you looked down to see his head bobbing up and down in your lap.

“I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I'm sorry.” His voice was muffled against your shirt but you made out his words easily.


	15. Chapter 15

A few weeks passed. You started your next semester of college as you normally did. Meeting new professors, getting class syllabuses, buying low cost digital versions of expensive text books online to save money, taking out student loans, doing the math and figuring out that you would have to work as a doctor for 10 solid years while aggressively paying off the debt to be free of it completely. You grumbled to yourself as you rolled homemade kimbap with your mom that morning.  
  
“Did my son in law have a nice time on his vacation?” You mom always got this sparkle in her eye when she talked about Baekhyun.

“It wasn't a vacation mom. It was work trip. He's probably exhausted again. Working too hard, eating too little, sleeping even less than that.” You squeezed the kimbap mat hard to press the rice tightly around the ingredients before you moved on to the next roll.

“You should take better care of him. He's different. He's a sensitive man.”

You looked up into your mom's face in surprise. As far as you knew, Baekhyun had only ever showed his charming side to your mom. She was looking down as she smoothed rice over the seaweed with moistened fingers.

“Sensitive men need extra attention.” Your mom said cryptically as she packed up rolls of kimbap into a plastic container with a noisy click.

You couldn't respond because she was already out of the kitchen, grabbing her purse and phone along with the kimbap she had just wrapped up. You noticed she was using the new flowered tupperware you saw her come home with yesterday and you wondered who was so special to deserve the extra serving of kimbap she was taking. You saw her wrap some for herself in a paper sack.

School was school. You were swamped with assignments right off the bat and you hardly had time to even eat the lunch you packed for yourself. You were in the library, working on organizing research for a paper you had due in two days when you heard your phone buzz against the table. Immediately after the first buzz you heard another. You were halfway through citing your sources in the right format so you didn't have to do it later when you heard another buzz next to you on the table.

Your train of thought was broken and you reached for your phone, annoyed that your work flow had been interrupted. It was Baekhyun, your boyfriend who you hadn't seen in a few weeks. He texted you pretty often and called most nights as you were drifting off to sleep.

_“Hey baby, you home? ^.^”  
“I'm back in town and standing in front of the shop.”  
“Oh shit, it's a school day isn't it? Waaahhh, I wanted to see you.”_

You could see the pout on his face and the way he would be stomping his feet against the floor as he threw an adorable fit.

_“I'm at school finishing a paper. I'll be home in about 2 hours.”_

Without the patience or the time for cutesy emoticons you sent your reply and got back to work.

You noticed your phone went eerily silent after your response. You usually had several responses back and forth when you told him you were busy and it took a lot of convincing about just how busy you actually were before he left you to your work.

The silence worked to your advantage though, you finished gathering and organizing all of your sources and the outline for your paper left you satisfied with the direction your rough draft was heading in. You closed up your books and headed home.

As you pushed the front door of the shop open your mom looked up from the newspaper she was reading with lifted eyebrows. She watched as you slowly made your way toward the back room where the stairs were. The stairs that led up to your home where you would find your warm bed waiting for you.

“Before you go up there don't be surprised. You had a visitor. I sent him to your room, he looked tired. Don't wake him if he's asleep.”

You raised your eyebrows in surprise at your mom’s words.

“B-Baekhyun is here?” You whisper-shouted in her direction, clearly taken off guard by the sudden and unexpected visit from your boyfriend. He hadn't said anything to you about coming inside or staying. In fact he didn't say a thing to you after you told him that you were busy.

You mom shrugged and nodded as she went back to her newspaper.

You quickly made your way up the stairs and as you made your way through your home you saw no signs of him. He must be still be in your room. You wondered what he was doing in there and how long he had been there. You wondered if he would find the pictures you kept of him that you printed out to look at when you missed him too much. The pictures that were your favorites from various photoshoots and fan sites. Baekhyun smiling wide. Baekhyun with blonde hair. Baekhyun shirtless which was a sight that you had technically seen before but you still enjoyed the fandoms reaction when he did it. You felt your stomach drop and your face burned with embarrassment at the idea that he knew you had hard copies on your desk in a little pink folder you kept hidden under a biology textbook from sophomore year. You prayed he was too sleepy to snoop too much.

As you opened the door slowly you saw a lump under the blanket on your bed. The lump was motionless and shaped like a human being, although he seemed to be curled up into a ball with only the top of his head visible.

His hair was different. It was a lighter brown color, almost a dark blonde and you could see very slight curls. Did they give him a perm? He was very obviously sleeping soundly, judging by the steady breathing in his chest and the peaceful look on his pretty face. You pulled the blanket away from his chin and smiled to yourself as you let your eyes take him in.

When you pulled the blanket down further you could see that he held something in his arms. Something small and furry and you recognized the white fur of the stuffed puppy you usually slept with. It was a silly childlike thing that you knew you were way too old for but you still liked holding it when you slept. The way he held onto it, tucked tightly between his folded arms against his chest made you smile. He'd obviously found a similar comfort in the silly toy.

You lowered yourself next to the bed, perfectly content to watch him sleep and you sat down and leaned forward, resting your chin on the bed next to his face.

You hadn't intended to fall asleep but you could feel yourself drifting as you watched him and your head was losing the battle to stay upright when a particularly strong jolt made you gasp out of the sleep that you fought against.

You heard a groan next to you on the bed and when you opened your eyes you found his brown eyes open and watching you. They were unfocused at first as he was pulled from the deep sleep he had been in, but after a moment you saw his eyes find your eyes and the recognition flashed across his face with a small smile.

“You're finally home,” his voice was low and thick and you felt the bed shift as he was moving. You saw him scooting back in your bed and he lifted the covers as he made room for you. You quickly climbed in facing him and you reached for the stuffed puppy. He tossed it behind him with a sheepish smile at having been caught sleeping with your stuffed animal.

“It smells like you,” he said with a tiny smile. You felt his arms wrap around you. He was so warm and he smelled like Baekhyun. You couldn't help the appreciative moan that left your mouth. His arms rubbed along your back and you felt lost in the embrace. Lost in the relief to feel him surrounding you again. His home comings always did this. Filled you with so much elation and satisfaction you wondered how you ever survived without him.

There were no words. There was nothing to say. Nothing that neither of you hadn't proclaimed over the phone night after night for weeks. The I miss yous and the I love yous and I wish I wish I wishes were said plenty and with a broken record quality that left you only feeling emptiness at the distance. He was here now and you were feeling instead of saying.

His hands found your face and his lips found your mouth and the sleep didn't matter. The paper you were so busy with didn't matter and the fact that your mom knew he was in here didn't matter. You could feel the hunger. It was insatiable and it raged inside you. You'd been starved of him for too long already.

There was a moan and then there was a fire.

His hands were suddenly trembling and the blanket over your bodies was too hot and stifling. You felt him grunt and throw it off as he moved with an urgency that matched what you felt inside.

“I...I ..” He was breathing too hard to get the words out and you were only half listening because you were busy lifting your hips so he could pull your panties down.

“I need to cum inside you before I explode and then I swear I will go slow. I can't wait, please ..please, it's been so fucking long,”

You only half paid attention to whatever sort of response you were able to mumble but your hands were moving. You pushed at his pants and his knees were pushing your legs apart now and when you felt his hot flesh collide with your wetness you were already pulling him into you. Your legs tightened and he pushed inside. You were too ready, too wet for him and it had been too long, you heard the whine in the back of his throat and his eyes were closed. His mouth hung open and his face screwed together in a look that one might have mistaken for pain. You knew him well. This was your favorite expression of his and it was one only you got to see. It was the look he had before he came inside you. It was the look that filled your mind when you touched yourself at night.

“F-Fuck fuck, I can't…” He was panting through gritted teeth and you felt him pull out and push inside again quickly.

He pushed inside again, his pace was nowhere near anything steady and his legs were trembling. You knew he wouldn't last long, you knew it had been too long, too many weeks of his hand in the shower in hotels full of men. He was shaking and with two more thrusts you felt him trembling between your legs. You felt the spasms inside you and you heard the low whiny groan that left his lips as he came inside you.

He was breathing hard as he dropped, resting his weight over your body. You could still feel him inside of you, still half hard despite being spent.

He wasn't moving but you felt the urge to shift. Your arousal still begging for attention and feeling him inside you was doing things to your patience. You moved your hips, pulling a bit, it made him shift inside of you and you heard him whine and hiss at the movement.

“I just n-need a minute,” he whined noisily against your neck. And he cried out in what sounded like pain when you moved against him again. You couldn't help it. You could feel him inside you still and it was so tempting to feel moving inside you again. After a while you felt his hips dip, almost involuntarily and he pushed himself further inside of you again. He was making noises because of the sensitivity, loud whines and moans as he moved and you wrapped your legs tightly around his waist, pulling him deeper inside you. His voice protested but his hips moved until his lips were back on yours and you felt the suction of his mouth against your tongue.

The sounds he was making were changing with the movement of his hips. He was quite literally pushing through the pain, past the over-sensitivity and the more he moved the more you felt his hardness returning.

“Shit baby, you made me hard again, oh fuck, fuck.” He was mumbling again with his eyes closed as he breathed heavily. “You feel so much better than my hand.” He was pushing harder into your wetness as he raised up and supported his weight on strong arms.

“Did you miss me fucking you like this?” His question was bold and when you opened your eyes up to look at his face he was watching you. He bit down on his lips and pulled out before pushing in again, harder and faster. You whimpered at the sudden movement as your mind grew fuzzy from the rapid thrust. You couldn't form a verbal response but you closed your eyes and nodded. Your own rapid breathing stifled when you bit down hard on your lip to keep from crying out.

You felt him raise up on his ankles and his hands were on your thighs as he pushed your legs further apart. He was watching himself as he pushed deep inside of you. His eyes down between your legs as he disappeared over and over.

You felt his right hand slide down your thigh and you felt the overwhelming pulse through your body when his thumb rubbed against your clit. The look in his eyes was dark and his lips were open as he breathed through his mouth. 

“I found them.” He said suddenly and you opened your eyes, trying to focus on the words he was saying as he played with your clit. What did he find?

“W-What?” You breathed out heavily, trying to keep your eyes open so you could see his face. You felt him push into you again, roughly and his other hand gripped the flesh of your thigh roughly.

“P-Pictures of me. Hidden in the book on your desk.” Your eyes widened as you looked at him and you glanced over at your desk. The books were stacked just as you left them. He must have put them back after he was done with his snooping.

His eyes darkened and you saw a sexy smirk on his lips.

“Did you touch yourself while I was gone, baby? Did you think about me while you did it?” You felt the pace of his thumb speed up as he fucked into you roughly and the pulse of lightning raged through your body, overwhelming your senses. You could feel yourself losing yourself in the sensations. His words with his hands and his dick were sending you over the edge quickly. You closed your eyes and threw your head back, trying to listen to his questions but finding it hard to follow any sort of conversation right now. He was driving you crazy.

“Do you like that? How Oppa to makes you cum?” Your only response was a whining from within your chest as your legs began to tremble around him.

“Y-Yes Oppa,” you said between clenched teeth. You were so close that your response was a choked reply from your lips as you felt yourself giving in to him.

It hit you hard. Your body trembled and shook all around him, legs giving way to tension and you could feel the all consuming wave take over. You cried out and clenched around him as he pushed inside. You were half aware of him dropping down over your shuttering body. You cried out harder when you felt teeth bite down on the skin of your neck, below your collarbone. His face was close to you, his hair tickled your forehead and you felt his teeth clamp down hard as his mouth sucked against the your skin. The pain of his gnashing teeth paired with the powerful wave that coursed through your body only fueled the scream that came out of your mouth and you could feel him stiffen on top of you as he came inside you for the second time since he'd pushed inside of your wetness.

You felt too dizzy to move. He was rolling and you felt arms wrap around you as he let his muscles relax. He was heavy breaths coupled with appreciative moans and you let your eyes drift close when you felt him slide out of you. You could feel the substantial mess spill out from between your legs, running down your thighs and his hands were moving over you as he pulled against your body into a tight embrace with your head tucked securely under his chin. The clothes you still had on felt too warm and sticky and you longed for some relief from the heat you were feeling, but you were too spent to move.

Once your breathing returned to normal and the dizziness passed you lifted your head to look into his face.

His eyes opened and he watched your face with a sweetness that pulled at your heart and when you saw the tiny smile on his pretty lips you couldn't keep the smile from your own face.

“Oppa, it's hot,” you whispered, desperate for a cool shower to clean the sweat and the mess off of your body. You could tell he was sweaty too by the way his messy curls clung to his forehead.

Baekhyun didn't respond to your complaint with words as he blinked slowly and just watched your face.

You saw him moving and you felt his lips press up against your mouth as he pulled your lower lip in between his parted ones. His mouth was soft and gentle. The ravenous urgency in which he devoured your mouth with earlier was gone as he savored the feel of your lips against his own. His tongue darted out lightly and slowly, merely content to brush up against your own now. You felt him pull away and he was so still and quiet you opened your eyes.

When your eyes opened back up you saw that he was watching you in an uncharacteristically silent reverie. You saw him blink again, much slower and your only response to this strange quiet from him was a lift of your eyebrows.

“I love you.” He whispered against your lips and you couldn't contain the the small breath of laughter that flew out.

“I love you too Oppa.”

“I have something for you.” He finally said and your ears perked up at the sound in his voice now. Something was off in that voice and you knew him well enough to pick up on it, but you couldn't quite pinpoint what was different. What was that?

“Something for me?” He nodded at your question.

“W-What? Why?” You felt a strange tingle on your spine as you looked at his serious face and you felt him moving now. He was sitting up and reaching over the side of the bed. You felt the absence of his body heat with his departure and when he returned he held something inside his hand.

You saw the small black velvet of the box he held and your stomach flipped. He turned to you and you could see the slight tremble in his hands now. You suddenly realized what had been different about his voice and you realized when you had heard that sound from him before.

It was the same voice he used when he first told you that he loved you on the phone. The same nervous tone that he quickly tried to cover up with his constant chatter.

You froze when he opened the box and you saw two matching silver rings inside.

“I…” He began and you could see it in his face. His eyes looked around the space on the bed between your bodies quickly and he blinked a little too rapidly before you heard the sharp inhale of breath designed to calm himself. When he looked up into your surprised eyes you saw a determination in them now.

“I love you...so so much. And I thought that maybe we could wear these. I'll keep mine on and you can keep yours on too. That way when I'm not here you can look at it and think of me. And I can look at mine and think of you.”

You looked down from his pretty, yet clearly nervous face at the set of rings. They were remarkably beautiful. Clean and tasteful with a small diamond set within each band. You noticed that the larger ring was just a little different than the smaller one and you tilted your head at the difference. He must have noticed as he began speaking now.

“They're not exactly identical. I couldn't buy them off the shelf as something that is sold as _couple rings_ , some of the fans are detectives really. They would know if it was something that you could just go out and buy as a set. I actually had them special made.” You couldn't help the surprise on your face and you tried not to think about how much money he must have spent on the tiny symbols of his love that he held in the palm of his hand.

“They're beautiful Oppa.” his eyes widened when you spoke and you actually saw his tense shoulders relax as he exhaled with a bright smile on his face. You knew it was fast. Too soon maybe, but he had this look in his eyes that you just couldn't ignore. There was a hopefulness behind the nerves and you couldn't bring yourself to refuse them. Refusing them would crush him and you didn't have that in you anymore. You couldn't crush Baekhyun like that. You loved him too much.

“Really? I thought you might get mad at me. I thought you would say it was too soon. We haven't even had our 100 days anniversary yet. Although that's next week and I have a schedule on that day so I guess we can celebrate early.” You felt his hand lightly grasp your left hand and he was pulling the smaller ring out of the black box. You wondered if he knew your ring size and if so how he had managed that.

You watched in silent appreciation as he slipped the ring carefully onto your finger and your heart flipped when it wet right on, fitting perfectly. He held your hand flat over his own and you caught the slight raise of his eyebrows as he looked at the ring he'd just given you, now decorating your left hand. He wasn't moving to put his own ring on so you quickly grabbed the small silver circle from the box and held his left hand, slipping it down his slender finger.

“Even if I don't have it on I'll have it with me okay?” You heard his voice whisper out next to yours and you nodded in understanding. You knew his fame had certain requirements as far as accessories were concerned.

“I have something for you too,” you said suddenly, remembering the small gift bag that sat in the corner of your room. You knew it wasn't a real gift but you'd managed to snag it recently and were anxious to get it out of your room already before your dad found it.

His eyes widened and you saw a flash of something on his face. He looked excited all of a sudden and you instantly regretted announcing that you had something for him because the truth was this wasn't a gift. Not at all. That fucking hopeful excitement was in his eyes and you winced when you saw it.

“Settle down, it's not a gift.” You said flatly and you watched his lips flatten out before dipping into a little pout.

You hopped up out of your bed and grabbed the bag, thrusting it in his direction. He was sitting up on the edge of your bed and he peered down into the bag’s opening.

You watched as instant recognition flashed across his face and he looked up at you with flattened sarcastic eyes before you heard the noisy sigh in his chest that broke through the tense silence. You saw annoyance flash across his face and you frowned.

“Yah!” He shouted and you merely shuffled on your feet, feeling the blush on your cheeks now at your terrible timing.

“How can I be the only romantic one in this relationship? I just gave you a ring and you're just giving me back my own shirt.” You heard the thump as he unceremoniously dropped the bag that had his chocolate shirt in it onto the floor and threw himself back onto your bed in a huff.

“It's not even our anniversary yet! Why are you expecting gifts anyway?” You complained. He was rolling over your bed now, lamenting with whines and moans about being unloved and under-appreciated.

“Do you even know how hard that was to get back? My dad practically slept in it for a month! I had to sneak into his dirty laundry and bribe one of the workers downstairs to dry clean it secretly for me!” You had to defend yourself. He was laying belly down on your bed now with his head buried under your pillow.

“You have to give me something for real. This isn't fair. I'm going to cry.” You could barely make out his words from under the pillow. He was in big baby mode and there was little you could do to get Byun Baekhyun out of big baby mode once he was in it.

Your mind flashed back to the other thing that you had tucked into the drawer of your night stand. You chewed on your bottom lip nervously as you considered.

“Did you say you're going to busy on our anniversary?” You asked and you heard him moan his response from under the pillow where he sulked.

“Okay I guess you can have it now then.” You sighed and you saw him pull his head out from under the pillow in a flash. His smile was wide and his eyes were instantly hopeful. He scrambled to the edge of your bed again and sat with straight posture. You watched with amusement as he held both of his hands out in front of him expectantly and bit down on his bottom lip adorably with white teeth flashing bright. This guy-

You suddenly felt unsure and you couldn't stop the butterflies in your stomach as you pulled the drawer open and took out the picture. It was a single Polaroid picture and you knew it was a risk. You had no idea how he would feel about this. You felt slightly guilty when you did it. When you put on the sexy lingerie and posed for the picture, trying out several shots, each one riskier than the last, until you settled on the one you placed face down onto his open palms.

He looked down at the picture you had just placed into his hands and he didn't move for a moment. You noticed the excited smile he had held on his face was gone and his eyes stared blankly for a moment at the back of the picture. Why wasn't he moving?

Maybe this wasn't allowed.

You heard him clear his throat before he spoke. You noticed his cheeks were pink now and his eyes were frozen on his hands.

“Is this...for me?” He said quietly and you didn't respond. You could feel your cheeks heating up the longer he sat there frozen and when he finally moved you watched his face closely for his reaction.

He flipped the picture over and you saw his eyes widen as he looked at the image. His hand flew up to cover his open mouth and you heard a very loud gasp fill the room.

Your hand flew forward faster than you'd ever moved in your life and you plucked the picture out of his hands, quickly hiding it behind your back.

His eyes were wide and he moved fast, standing and wrapping both arms securely around you as he reached for the picture behind your back. You stumbled backward, trying to keep his fingers from gripping the picture.

“Give it back, it's mine.” You heard his voice now. It came out as a low growl that you hadn't expected and the sound of it made your close your eyes for a moment. That low growl crawled down your spine and tickled against your belly, making you loosen your grip on the picture behind your back.

You felt his fingers prying yours open and he pulled the picture out of your hand. He held it back in front of his face and you saw his eyes flying over the shot. His breath left his lungs through his lips in a short burst and you saw the tip of his tongue that danced over his lips.

He looked back up at where you stood frozen like a deer in the headlights of an oncoming car and his eyes were wide now. His eyebrows were raised and his cheeks were definitely pink. He lifted a finger and pointed at you.

“You-” he began before he looked back down at the picture he held in his hands. He seemed to be breathing harder and just a bit agitated now.

You saw him moving and he was walking around your bed where his bag sat and you saw him digging through the bag as he held onto the picture tightly between his fingers. You were having trouble gauging his reaction. He didn't necessarily seem upset about what you'd done, but he wasn't laughing and joking like he usually did. He just searched through his bag for something.

He stood quickly and you saw a wallet. His wallet, he quickly stuck the picture deep inside a hidden pocket of his wallet and looked back at you.

“Are there more? Is that the only one you took?” He was moving back to where you stood now and you felt him brush past you to the dresser where you had pulled the picture out of.

“Give them to me. All of them. I want them all. That can't be the only one. I never EVER take just one picture before I post it. There's got to be more.”

Baekhyun seemed to be in detective mode now. You saw him drop to his knees in front of where you had pulled the picture out of and he was peering down around the dresser. You saw him look through the small trash can you had next to your bed before he moved to the night stand.

He found the camera tucked in the cupboard below the drawer and you sat down in defeat on your bed as you watched him discover the stack of rejects.

He pulled the stack of photos out and looked through each of the pictures one by one. His expression was serious and his face was difficult to read. You wondered if he was mad. His silence was making your heart race and you opened your mouth to speak when he suddenly opened his wallet again and stuffed the stack of pictures inside.  
  
“Is that all of them?” He asked from his perch on the floor.

You nodded in response with a small pout on your lips. His wallet was still inside his hands and you were quiet, waiting for him to scold you for taking racy pictures or something when you heard the first giggle from his mouth.

“Yah, I knew you were smart, but who would have thought to use this old old camera for this. I mean it's too risky to send me anything by text or email, which I've made very very clear---”

“But this..this is so...unexpected. I mean, do they even sell this film anymore?” He was definitely smiling now and you saw him pull out the pictures again, looking through them with his mouth open and his eyes wide.

“I bought some online. The film. It's discontinued but you can still find it online if you try.” You said quietly, suddenly feeling a weight leave your shoulders as you watched him enjoy your gift. He didn't look up from the pictures as you were talking and you noticed he was looking very closely at them now.

“Fuck baby, I can see so much in this one.” He said as he slowly ran his finger along the surface of one of the pictures. You were pretty sure you knew which one he was referring to. It was one of the ones you rejected for being way too inappropriate.

So much for that. Baekhyun had them all now.

“Make sure you don't lose them.” You said and you heard a small chuckle from his chest.

“No fucking way. I'm guarding these with my life--”

“I just might survive this next month away from you now.” As soon as he said the words you saw his jaw clench down and he quickly blinked away the sigh that you heard from him.

A month. The next month. And after that another month, and another.

You couldn't help it. He'd just reminded you that he was leaving for a bit longer this time. And you'd have to find some way to occupy your mind so your silly heart wouldn't make its pain known. You avoided his eyes now as you steadied your gaze down at his hands. Not wanting him to see the dark cloud that had suddenly covered you.

“I--” he said quietly and you saw him tuck the photos away inside his wallet again as he looked up into your face.

“Sorry.” He suddenly said with a small wrinkle in his nose. “I didn't want to bring it up until later. I know it's….” His words failed to materialize in any way that mattered and you felt the bed dip as he sat down next to you on your bed. You felt warmth as his arms wrapped around you and squeezed you tight. You felt his lips against the top of your head and he inhaled a deep breath when you wrapped your arms around his waist.

“I'm sorry I have to go away again and again. You know I'm sorry right?” You didn't respond with words, but you squeezed around his waist tighter and nodded your head below his chin.

He pulled back some and you could tell he wanted you to look up at him. You tensed your jaw and bit down hard on your bottom lip, hoping the slight pain would keep your mind focused on him instead of feeling sorry for yourself. You looked up to see him watching you closely.

His lips were smiling. His eyes weren't.

“Do you want to know where we will be going?” He asked softly over your face.

You just shook your head a tiny bit. Because you didn't. It didn't matter where he was going if he wasn't with you. It didn't matter where he was. He was just gone. Again. Your eyes were burning just enough to let you know that you better stop this mood before you started bawling in his arms.

You looked away from his pretty face and from his knowing eyes and buried your face against his strong chest. The inhale of breath smelled like Baekhyun. The way your arms fit around his waist felt like Baekhyun and hell, even his breathing sounded so much like Baekhyun you would have recognized its rhythm anywhere.

You heard a slow inhale against your ear, where his lungs rested on the other side of his chest wall. You heard the steady thump of his heart beating inside his chest that let you know all was right in your world. And you heard he first words of the song he quietly sang over your head. The pretty lullaby he sang to you over the miles when you were having a rough day, now sung only a few centimeters away from your ears. You felt his arms rubbing along your skin as he sang and you closed your eyes and let the music from his lips bring you out of it.

He always brought you out of it. That was his magic.  
That was Baekhyun, your love. He was magic.


	16. Chapter 16

  
Baekhyun had two more days in town before he left for a long tour.

You had one day to finish your research paper, get some other assignments in and you could spend his last day in town with him. You'd promised he could have the whole day after your early morning class and he'd actually made some plans for lunch with Chanyeol, his best friend and fellow group member.  
  
You hadn't seen Chanyeol since the backstage incident at the fan meeting where you cried in front of him, a complete stranger to you, and learned more about Baekhyun's past. Namely, the reason for his jealousy. The hurt he'd experienced at the hands of someone he loved. Someone who claimed to love him back, who had betrayed him, leaving him scarred and terrified of history repeating itself.

The more you thought about it the pain he must have felt, the sicker it made you feel inside. You loved Baekhyun, and the very idea of him in so much pain made your stomach churn.

You pulled your your cell phone and keyed in a quick text message, hitting send before you turned off the sound and stuck it in your pocket, silencing it quickly before class started. Your paper ready to hand in and you were one class away from your lunch date with Baekhyun and Chanyeol.

You could feel your phone vibrating several times before it went silent and you resisted the urge to pull your phone out of your pocket to read the messages he sent in response to your quick admission of your love for him.

This class was long and involved and halfway through the class, your professor announce a short break. You quickly pulled out your phone and unlocked to read.

_“Oppa…. I love you more than printing out the final copy of a research paper that took me 12 hours to write. I can't believe how much I love you.”_

He must have been surprised by your sudden and unexpected outburst. His responses were mostly cutesy faces.

_“ㅇ_ㅇ...You surprised me!”_

“★.★”

_“♥.♥ Hurry up and finish your damn class so I can come get you~~~~”_

The next hour and a half of the class dragged and felt like 10 hours long. Had this professor always been such a slow talker? Was his voice always this nasal? Did he know that he skipped a button on his sweater?

You must have zoned out because suddenly students around you were moving as they replaced folders and books in their backpacks and the sound of feet shuffling and bodies exiting the room brought you out of your stupor. The class was over and you were free for the rest of the day.

You felt the elation take over you and the class had already emptied out by the time you jumped up and grabbed your bag with a little dance of victory.

In a flash, you had your phone in your hand to text Baekhyun about your class having let out when you heard the sound of someone clearing their throat behind you.

You spun at the sound and saw a black hood pulled tightly over a black facemask of the man who stood with his arms crossed over his chest as he leaned against the door.

The recognition was instant. Your heart leapt up high into your throat and your smile was wide, having been thoroughly surprised to see him standing here at the door of the empty classroom. Your surprise was quickly replaced with confusion and you watched his eyes blink slowly at you. You could tell from the curve of them that he was smiling.

“How did you know where to find me?”

You saw him shift on his feet and he dropped his hands to his side. You saw him stick his hands inside his pockets, catching the flash of the silver ring around his finger before it disappeared inside his coat.

“I might have found your class schedule when I was in your room the other day…and I might have taken a picture of it with my phone.” His voice sounded just a little bit guilty. Baekhyun hadn't just found the pictures you had printed out of him, but he had apparently found all sorts of things when he was in your room.

“You--” you began but found yourself actually a bit speechless at his audacity. It wasn't that you were in any way upset that he'd taken such liberties with your privacy. Had you actually expected anything different? He was Baekhyun after all. Cheeky, sneaky and entitled. He lived a different existence from you and you were quickly learning new interesting, and sometimes frustrating sides to his personality.

“You shouldn't be here Oppa. What if someone recognizes you.” You couldn't help your nagging tone. He had to have known the risks in coming to a crowded college campus to meet his secret girlfriend for their lunch date. Judging by the way he kept his hood pulled tightly around his head and his facemask firmly covering his entire lower face you guessed he was very aware that this was a stupid move.

You made your way toward the exit with your heavy backpack slung over one arm his eyes followed you. You noticed his eyes catch your hand that held the strap of your bag. The hand that wore the ring he had given you.

His eyes found yours and with a softening you saw the unspoken spark inside of him when he saw the ring. You saw the puff in his chest and the microscopic lift of one eyebrow as his face betrayed his emotions. Most of it was concealed, but this man was so transparent, at least to you, you would've caught it during a blackout.

You reached for the door and felt a force pulling you back as your bag was tugged behind you and the strap around your shoulder made you turn into him. There was a dizzy spinning and warm arms around you, moist lips pressed up against your surprised parted ones.

This was your school. His mask was off and this was your school. An alarm in your head was sounding.

Sure the door was closed now, but you were pretty sure it wasn't locked and anyone...ANYONE could walk in on this and his lips were so soft. His hands were in your hair and his body heat was overwhelming.

You felt his tongue brush against your own and you were half aware of the echoing thud as your bag fell to the floor at your feet. A guttural sound in the back of his throat and a flex of his fingers against the back of your head made your lose what little resistance you had. You wanted him. You wanted more and more of him. Much more than he could give you right now.

Your body was responding to him. You were always so weak against this beautiful person that you felt your breath leave your lungs in a whoosh of emotions when his mouth left your lips with a pop.

A warm breath fanned out against your wet lips and his hands left your back and your hair. You felt the coolness of the room around you and when you opened your eyes you saw a shaking hand securing his facemask tightly back around his ears. He pulled his hood tight again and cleared his throat.

His darkened eyes danced around the room, avoiding yours, until he looked down at your feet and bent down to pick up your bag.

“I'd carry your bag for you love, but I'm afraid it might get connected back to you if anyone takes any photos. I'm afraid I was recognized once already.” His voice was speaking from behind you as he placed your backpack firmly on both of your shoulders.

Your head spun around in surprise at his words. Someone had already spotted him. How long before word got out and fans swarmed the building looking for him.

“I'm parked in the visitor lot. Can you go get my car and meet me at the front of this building? They won't follow you out to the parking lot but they will definitely follow me if I go with you.”

He had pressed a small black car key into your hand. The fancy kind with discrete buttons and a logo of a foreign car that must have cost more than your school tuition.

“Umm...y-you want me to drive _your_ car?” Your uncertainty must have been obvious because his eyes widened a bit as he looked at your face.

“You _can_ drive right?” There was a snarky tone and your defenses instantly rose as it was clear he was looking for something to poke fun at you about.

“Of course I can drive!” What the hell was that tone supposed to mean? Did he think you were a child? You'd driven all sorts of things, like delivery trucks, your mom's car, and you’d even driven a scooter once.

You heard his giggles as you stormed out of the room in a huff and you heard him tell you not to scratch his car in that same snarky tone as you left.

Of course his car stood out. It had to be the most expensive thing in the whole lot. The driver's seat was too far back for your legs and you had to make a few adjustments to the mirrors before you were able to get going.

When you reached the front of the building and pulled up to the curb you saw a small group of people, phones were out and a dark hooded figure moved quickly through the crowd toward the car.

A sudden realization flashed in your mind. Your face wasn't covered. The car was very tinted but Baekhyun had to open the door to get inside. Someone would surely see you driving while the door was open. You looked around quickly, trying to find something to throw over your own head before he made his way to the car door.

In the backseat you recognized the gift bag with the shirt you had returned to him the other night. The infamous chocolate shirt. It was practically a symbol of your relationship by now. You saw him reach for the car door and you pulled the shirt over your head quickly, hiding your face as he pulled the door open and climbed inside quickly.

“Go,” he whispered with a sound of urgency in his voice and you put the car in drive and drove out of the driveway quicker than you would have liked with so many people around. You heard him laughing as he pulled the shirt off of your head as you drove so you could see where you were going.

As you drove, Baekhyun gave you directions to the restaurant where Chanyeol was meeting you both.

The building that housed the restaurant had an underground parking lot that was secured and hidden. You noticed Baekhyun was no longer wearing his hood or his mask as he exited and car and you instinctively looked around nervously for onlookers when he linked his fingers between yours as you walked.

“This place is safe. We have a few places where we can relax in this city.” He tugged at your hand and pulled you into an elevator that rose a few floors into an empty foyer. A single female employee, bowed at the waist greeted you both and didn't look up into your eyes when you quickly bowed your head.

“Mr. Byun, Mr. Park and Mr. Kim are waiting. Please, right this way.” She held a hand out for you both to follow but there was a stutter in Baekhyun's steps. His feet stopped and you had to back up to where he stood to catch the worried look that flashed in his eyes.

“Mr. Kim? Which Mr. Kim is it Eun-ah? Do you know how many Mr. Kim's I know? I could start a damn baseball team made entirely of Mr. Kim's and still have enough left over for a fucking halftime show band.” You were taken aback by the demanding tone you heard just below his joke and it stopped you from pointing out that there was no halftime band in baseball.

Eun-ah froze and her smile faltered a bit with her slip.

“I beg your pardon Mr. Byun. It's Mr. Kim Junmyeon.” You felt Baekhyun drop your hand and he quickly ran a hand through his hair. You heard a soft curse word muttered under his breath and a deep inhale of oxygen. A chill on the back of your neck made you feel the cold air in the room too well and you watched the mounting tension in his shoulders as he resumed walking ahead of you, clearly expecting you to follow.

It was Eun-ah who first noticed that you didn't follow and she turned back to hover near where you stood waiting and watching his retreating back.

You could feel it. You were entering a place in which you knew you didn't belong.

Byun Baekhyun’s world. The place where celebrities and idols mingled and discussed their careers. The place that made your stomach ache with worry when you thought about scandals and ruined images.

“Miss--” Eun-ah’s soft voice broke you out of your own mind and you looked into her eyes. They were sweet eyes. The kind that offered guidance without judgement.

“Will you be joining us for lunch today?”

Her question wasn't forceful. It was genuine and unassuming. You could feel the decision placed firmly in your own hands by this young woman who watched your face closely as she patiently waited for your answer.

“Of course she is. Baby, come on.”

Baekhyun was back. His tone was light now. A false confidence bubbling and brewing around his bright smile. You felt his warm hand grip yours firmly and he tugged and urged you to walk with him.

“Sorry about that. I got distracted,” the sweet smile on his face nearly had you convinced if not for the twitch you saw in his eyebrow that spoke of his nerves now.

Kim Junmyeon was Suho, the impossibly pretty leader of EXO who scolded your boyfriend about being careful while dating. Careful to avoid any scandals. Careful not to fall in too deeply. Careful to keep his heart out of the equation.

As you entered the room the two familiar faces stood and smiled in your direction. Chanyeol towered over the other two and his smile was wide, genuine, and inviting. Junmyeon’s smile reached his eyes today and he was dressed down and casual. Without the makeup and stage clothes he looked less intimidating and much friendlier. Without the added stress of his international group’s leader role he seemed downright approachable.

You soon found out Junmyeon's reason for crashing your lunch was simply to offer an apology for his strong, and less than favorable, first impression.

“I realized, belatedly, how I must have seemed to you.” The small nervous smile Junmyeon wore as he spoke humanized his pretty face. Lending a bit of peace and calmness to storm of nerves that had been brewing since you'd arrived. Something about his nerves calmed your own immensely.

You noticed the increase in pink color in the apples of Junmyeon's cheeks as he spoke and your eyes glanced over at Baekhyun who fidgeted with the set of chopsticks on the table in front of him. On the outside, the apology seemed to be meant for you but you could tell by the pink on the tips of your boyfriend’s ears that, the apology was for the both of you. Baekhyun was definitely meant to witness this.

Chanyeol sat quietly next to Junmyeon as he spoke and you wondered if he had anything to do with this. Chanyeol, the devoted best friend of Baekhyun who seemed to go out of his way to keep his friend happy. You wondered how someone could get so lucky as to have a friend as insightful and caring as Chanyeol.

“Anyway, it was rude of me to make you witness that. It was even worse of me to have so little faith in my brother like that, I wanted to apologize to you and I hope we can place it behind us.” Junmyeon had finally stopped talking and his eyes looked up into yours.

The room was quiet. You couldn't even hear anyone breathing as they seemed to watch you for your reply.

“Of course Mr. Kim, I don't believe that an apology is necessary on your part. But you have gone out of your way to give me one and I am very grateful for the gesture, as am I grateful for the courage you had to gather to make such a humble expression.”

“Thank you. You have my word that your image in my mind is nothing other than a true professional who is passionate about his work and has a great deal of responsibility on his shoulders.” You watched his face change as he watched you respond to him.

There was a small grin, a puff of breath with a small chuckle that slowly widened into a genuine smile . His eyes curved into half moons and he smiled wide, showing both rows of his straight shiney teeth.

“You see?” You heard Baekhyun speak up from beside you, his voice was tinged with amusement and you couldn't help but turn to look at him. He was smiling at Chanyeol now who simply nodded his head in some sort of understanding he shared with Baekhyun. Chanyeol's wide eyes darted between the three at the table as he clearly agreed with something Baekhyun was telling him without outright speaking.

“See what?” Your curiosity scraped it's nails against your skin. You didn't like being the subject of secret understandings. Baekhyun shot you a wide grin and only offered a small head shake by way of explanation.

“Nothing.” He said cryptically and you couldn't keep the pout off your lips. You didn't miss his eyes darting to your mouth and lingering there until you flattened your pout out into a straight face that drew less attention from your obvious boyfriend.

“Well then, I will leave you three to your lunch.” Junmyeon suddenly spoke up and pushed away from the table, rising to his feet.

“You aren't staying?” Your own voice surprised you. You'd regretted missing out on the chance of getting to know more of Baekhyun's friends better, Junmyeon included. The mere fact that he dwelled on your first meeting with him enough to come here to apologize meant he was a decent guy and a good friend.

Junmyeon simply shook his head by way of response and shook your extended hand, thanking you for your time with a friendly smile before he left.

Soon dishes of food arrived, each more delicious than the last and the drinks flowed around the table as well. Chanyeol was sweet and you enjoyed the banter and easy conversation he shared with Baekhyun. You found yourself quite surprised to find that you didn't once feel left out. Sure they shared an easy connection and often completed each other's sentences or stories, but both men went out of their way to keep you included and well in the loop.

The drinks went through you quickly and you excused yourself for the ladies. When you returned you found Baekhyun hovering over a plate of something that sat in your spot with his chopsticks. He was picking something out and you sat down to see a small pile of raw onions on a napkin next to your salad.

The gesture felt so sweet and intimate that you paused to watch his concentration with a small smile. You hadn't even realized that Baekhyun knew about your hatred for raw onions. Yet here he sat, painstakingly picking through your dish with his chopsticks as his own salad sat untouched in front of him.

Your staring caught his attention and he looked up with a small smile and an adorable lift of his eyebrows. Clearly proud of his own insight.

You wanted to kiss him. You would have too if you were alone.

“Ahhh” Baekhyun's voice interrupted your thoughts and you looked in front of you to see his own chopsticks loaded with food ready for you to eat. Was he serious? You looked at him, frankly, too sober to do this in front of Chanyeol who just giggled on the other side of the table.

Both men had had more to drink that you did and you could tell that Baekhyun was getting a bit bolder and much more playful now.

You reached for your own beer and downed what was left of its contents before you shrugged and opened your mouth.

You felt a big chunk of meat and lettuce plopped inside of your open mouth and you had to cover your mouth with your hand while you chewed to keep it all inside.

Maybe he was actually drunk now. You'd lost track of how much beer he had and you were pretty sure those two bottles of soju that sat on the table were empty now. His cheeks were pink his eyes were just a bit shiny. Chanyeol's voice was loud and booming and had this not been a very well insulated private room in an exclusive restaurant, your group might have been thrown out by now.

Baekhyun was giggling as he watched you try and chew the mouthful and you quickly grabbed for the closest dish to you and held up a heaping amount in front of his face.

“Ahhh” you tried to say through the food in your own mouth and you noticed Baekhyun was looking at the food you held in your chopsticks. It was mostly just salad, lettuce, spinach, cucumber, a bit of beef.

Your mind was a bit fuzzy with the alcohol and you waved the food around in front of his closed lips. Why wasn't he just doing it already? You thought for sure Baekhyun would play along with this kind of thing. Hell, he did it to you just a minute earlier. Was he too embarrassed because of Chanyeol?

After a long moment he reached for his own beer and took a long drink, ignoring the chopsticks you held in front of him until your arm began to get sore from holding it up for so long.

On the other side of the table Chanyeol cleared his throat and you felt a shift in the atmosphere at the table. Eventually you gave up and lowered your chopsticks when you noticed that Baekhyun was no longer smiling, but was merely eating his own food in silence.

“W-What's wrong?” You weren't usually one to confront your problems head on like this but something was obviously bugging him and you had to know what you did so you could fix it. The alcohol in your system gave you a bit of courage.

You saw him shrug and his eyes glanced at you. His smile tight, his jaw set, and his beer in his hand.

“I don't eat cucumber….I guess you didn't notice.” You looked down at the salad you had grabbed the food from. Sure enough it was full of cucumbers. You noticed his own food was free of them.

“Is that it? Cucumbers?” You said. You tried to keep your voice steady and level and you hoped you didn't sound too flippant, but really. It's just a cucumber. Not really something to sulk over.

“Yeah. That's it.” He said quietly and something just below the surface sounded off. His cheeks were flushed and pink from the beer. You didn't have much time to dwell on it though because Chanyeol was telling a loud joke that took your attention from Baekhyun beside you.

You could heard Baekhyun giggling beside you and when you glanced at him, it seemed as if the delicate mood he was heading toward had passed.

Lunch was over and Chanyeol had a car waiting for him downstairs. You exchanged numbers with Baekhyun's giggling best friend because drunk Chanyeol thought he had some funny EXO memes of Baekhyun that he absolutely had to send you later.

You were surprised to find out that some of the members spent more time browsing the fans Twitter feeds than was probably good for their mental health.

Baekhyun had pulled you down the street from the restaurant into a similarly secluded building with few employees who simply bowed their greetings when you arrived. You found yourself alone on a two person sofa with Baekhyun in a private movie room. The kind with snacks, drinks, and a large screen in front of you. The movie playing was something older with subtitles and you were frankly too drunk to read right now. You struggled to follow the plot for the first 20 minutes of the film before you gave up and turned to face your boyfriend. He seemed to be in a similar state. Definitely drunker than you were he was staring ahead of him with a blank dazed look on his face. His eyelids were drooping and he seemed to be about to fall asleep.

“Oppa,” you whispered as the movie played, even though you two were the only ones in the room. There was no one else to disturb. You saw his eyes open back up and he turned to look at you.

“I'm not following this movie. I drank too much. I have no idea what's going on.”

You felt him shift next to you, scooting closer on the sofa so he was right next to you. You felt his warm arm wrap around your shoulder and he pulled you into him, leaning against you. The fact that he had been rather stingy with the touching all evening hadn't been lost on you. Whether that was for Chanyeol's benefit or if it was something else you weren't quite sure of. Having him so close right now reminded you just how much you'd missed his warmth.

“Me too. But I don't feel like leaving yet. We have the room for like 3 hours.”

The softness in his voice lulled you into him. You felt his steady breathing against your cheek as you leaned onto his chest and your eyes drifted closed. The movie played on, long forgotten in favor of his warmth and his arms.

You woke with a jolt and looked up to see credits rolling. Baekhyun next to you was rubbing his eyes, having clearly fallen asleep as well. The sound of the movie turning off and the lights in the room coming on must have been what woke you both. The haze of the alcohol was long gone with the time that had passed and the sleep, you felt groggy but alert.

“It's time to go.” He said. You heard it. You heard the sadness in his voice and you felt the end of today nearing too quickly.

The ride home was quiet, his hand held firmly onto yours that rested over your lap as he drove with one hand. His thumb brushed small circles over your skin.

When he pulled into the alley beside the dry cleaning shop he dropped your hand and gripped the steering wheel firmly with both hands. He was looking forward through his windshield with his face serious. The lack of his usual smile was a reminder that the ending of tonight wasn't exactly the happiest of moments in your relationship with Baekhyun.

“Goodnight Oppa. I had a nice time with you.” You tried to keep your voice light and as carefree as possible. You had even convinced yourself that you'd pulled it off when his eyes slowly pulled away from the gloomy alleyway and swung over to where you sat in the passenger seat of his car. You sat there, smiling your brightest smile in his direction.

You saw the storm behind his eyes as clearly as you heard the slow inhale and exhale that echoed around the silence of the cabin.

“Have a safe flight tomorrow.” Your whisper was a ghost, tickling against the gloomy expression that clouded his face. He was silent as he watched you reach for your seatbelt. His own hand slipping down to unfasten his own belt, to walk you to your door you guessed.

“Don't forget that I love you.” You couldn't help the reminder that you said a little bit louder. Preferring to part with sweet words over bitter farewells.

He was silent. Maybe he didn't trust his own voice. It was fine. You could be the strong one this time. He deserved that much from you.

You reached for the car door handle and pulled, pushing the door open. The coldness of the night flooded your space, sending goosebumps over your legs.

Your feet stood on their own. You weren't sure if you had any say you'd even be leaving his car, but your legs were carrying you. Clearly having understood the importance of letting him go.

You didn't look back. You didn't trust looking back.

When you reached the door your hands shook the key too much and you winced as you heard the clank of them falling to the pavement at your feet.

Before you could reach them, a hand with long slender fingers pushed forward in the darkness and wrapped around them, gripping them tightly in a fist.

You saw Baekhyun's serious face as you stood, standing in the same moment as you were. He was mask-less. Coat-less. And in his eyes you saw the same storm, now gaining strength as it churned unobstructed in his mind.

“Spend the night with me.” His voice was low and he was closing the distance between you both, his eyes boring deep into yours, serious as a heart attack.

“Oppa--” You shook your head.

How? How would this even work? What in the world was he thinking--there was no place for you both to go. He was at the dorm with members who were expecting him home tonight--you lived with your parents who would surely miss you if you suddenly didn't show up.

“I tried. I tried so hard...to be good tonight and just go…”

The wild look in his eyes told you that he would make it happen. He would find a way even if it came with dire consequences.

“I can't...you can't--”

“Text your mom. You're staying the night with Minah, or Dahee, or that fuck Jaewoo I don't even care. I need you tonight. I need you.” The desperate notes of his voice stood out more than anything.

He was pulling you by the arm and so help you God, your legs were carrying you, following him back across the street to his car. Your knees bent willingly when he pushed you down into the passenger seat and your hand betrayed you as you pulled your seat belt across your body.

Your phone was out with your lie sent to your mother and again to Minah to back up your story and you promptly turned the phone off. Not wanting or willing to respond to a single follow up question from either party -- because he needed you. Baekhyun needed you tonight and if you were completely honest you felt much of the same need consuming you all evening long.

His car pulled up to a hotel. The kind of nice place you'd never even considered an option when booking. The kind with penthouses and room service and discrete employees who were used to looking the other way from people with money who did as they pleased.

You noticed as Baekhyun sent a quick text message to Chanyeol and you heard the buzzing of rapid responses from his friend. When the buzzing stopped you assumed it was because he turned it off. It couldn't be that Chanyeol simply lost interest in talking some sense into his friend.

Neither of you had any bags. This wasn't exactly a planned vacation.

Through the doorway you were struck with the beauty of the room. The luxury. The opulence. The excess. The door clicked shut loudly behind you and you turned to face Baekhyun who stood behind you. His eyes were on fire now. You saw the lust but you also saw something else that set your mood off.

“I don't have any clothes to sleep in.” Your feet dragged as he pulled on you now, leading you through the living area through double French doors that led to a room with a king sized bed.

“Neither do I,” he said and his hands were on you already, peeling back clothing away from your skin with nimble fingers. His face was serious and the clench of his jaw gave you a clue of the tension he was feeling. Was it the unauthorized night out that had him so worked up or was it something else?

Your eyes closed in on his lips, a thin line of tension and concentration as he fumbled with the buttons on your shirt.  
  
He leaned into you and you felt his mouth against your neck. His teeth bit down just below your ear and you felt the goosebumps erupt over your skin as his fingers slipped below the fabric of the your shirt that now hung open.

“W-What if you get into trouble for this, Oppa?” You whispered into the space above his head. You could feel his hair tickling against your skin as he moved lower, kissing against your breasts that peeked out above your bra.

He didn't respond to your question and you felt him reach the bed as he fell backwards, pulling you down on top of him. He sat up, positioning you on top of his lap so you straddled him. You could feel him below you, affected but not quite as hard as you would have expected by now. Perhaps he felt it too. Something was wrong here.

“Oppa..” you repeated and you knew your tone was disapproving, but you needed him to respond. You could tell that something was wrong with him and he was obviously ignoring it in favor of the sex this night promised.

You heard the groan from within his chest and the frustration behind it was evident.

His hands stopped moving over your skin and he dropped back down onto the bed, leaving you sitting on top of him. His hands flew over his face and he rubbed hard before he dropped his hands and looked square at you.

“What? So what if I get into trouble, what's going to happen? I'll get yelled at, I say sorry, that's it.” His tone was gruff. His words were short and you could see the agitation now, much more pronounced than in the car or when he was pulling you into this hotel room.

“Oppa, what's wrong?” you knew there was something. You just knew he was upset and your mind flashed back to the evening. You tried to pinpoint when his sweet glances and affections changed and you realized that during the movie he had been just a bit distant. There were no kisses and no sweet sexy whispers or anything. He simply let you take a nap on him.

You moved to sit on the bed next to him and he slowly sat up, not looking into your eyes now. He was chewing on his lip as he avoided whatever it was he didn't want to say.

“Nothing.” He lied and you exhaled with a half eye roll. There was very clearly something bugging him.

“Come on.” You urged and when you reached a hand out to lay over his arm lightly he looked down at your fingers.

“Why can't you just fuck me so I can feel better and then I'll get over it.” He grumbled lowly. His bad mood was manifesting itself much stronger the more you got him to actually talk about it.

You saw a pout now. A very very definite Byun Baekhyun pout was on his lips and he rested his chin over his open hand as he looked down at your hand that rested over his arm.

“What happened that has you feeling bad?” You pouted your own lips in response to his adorable pout and you saw his eyes change as he looked at you. He saw your own pout and he furrowed his brows and glared harder at you.

“You dont …” he stopped speaking, not willing to go on with whatever it was he was going to say, but you heard the distinct lack of humor in his voice. It was out of place and you suddenly realized that he was actually upset with you. He wasn't joking, and he wasn't taking your own light teasing well either.

“You don't get to do that. You're making fun of me for being upset and you're making it worse. Don't you think I realize I'm being ridiculous? I'm trying to get over it, okay?”

“Okay, we're talking about this. What did I do? Why are you mad at me?”

His eyes widened and he threw himself back on the bed as he let out a loud frustrated growl. He was apparently into the part of his fit that involved loud noises and rolling around in _agony_.

“It's not even….ugh! It’s stupid….I'm not mad at you. I just feel…disappointed. You did it in front of Chanyeol and everything. I mean how can you literally be the only one in the world who doesn't know?” He wasn't facing you. You could see his back as he curled up into himself on the bed.

What was he talking about? What didn't you know about? You searched your memory of the evening, remembering when you were having lunch with Chanyeol before the movie. Remembering the drinks and remembering the food--

“The cucumber?” You exclaimed in genuine surprise. Could he really be upset that you offered him a piece of cucumber? You definitely remember the look he gave you after you'd done it and the mood definitely grew awkward around the table. But why was one little cucumber such a big deal? Did he really expect you to know every single quirk of his personality and tastes already? When he never even told you anything about it in the first place? You saw his shoulders rise and fall dramatically.

“Your mom knows I don’t like cucumber. She makes me kimbap in these cute little containers and she never puts cucumber in it.”

You stared down at his back. He wasn't moving as he sulked and you suddenly remembered the flowered tupperware container you saw your mom leaving with in the mornings. The mornings that you realized seemed to correspond with days when Baekhyun was in town. What the hell?

“All of my fans know.” He added mostly under his breath and there it was again. His fans. After you'd told him again and again that you weren't his fan. You were his girlfriend who wasn't required to throw herself at his feet and worship the very ground he walked on every chance you got.

“Well I've told you.. I'm not your fan.” You didn't want to fight with him but your tone came out a little too harsh. Much harder than you intended and you felt the bed shift as he quickly turned around. His own eyes hard and his face clearly upset.

“I know you're not my fucking fan. You've told me that a million times!” you flinched at the outburst. Genuinely surprised that he would raise his voice at you. He seemed to instantly regret it. You watched him close his eyes tightly when he saw your face, not intending to yell, but clearly having to get the words out. He inhaled a deep breath and kept talking at a more reasonable volume.

“But sometimes...sometimes it would be nice if you gave a shit. Even a little bit. But you don’t. It's always about school and tests and ‘I'm busy oppa’ and ‘I have to finish this paper oppa’ and --” you scowled at his impression of you. There was no way you sounded like that.

“And you know what? I am your fan. I am genuinely a fan of yours. I want to know everything that you are doing all the time…and I love it all. I crave it all. I want to know how you're feeling and what you're working on and….why aren't you curious about me? Why don't you ever ask me about my schedule?” His passionate rant peaked and you heard his voice drop into the saddest mumble as he dropped his head and threw himself back down onto the bed.

“Oppa.” Your hand was on his shoulder and you felt him grunt and shift you off dramatically. With a deep sigh you rose to your feet to retrieve your phone. You could see that his eyes were following you as you moved and you tried to keep your face straight.

When you turned your phone on you ignored the text messages that were waiting for you and you opened the browser so you could hold out the list of bookmarks that you had all related to Byun Baekhyun. Your own embarrassing little collection of fansites with intricate detailed schedule information and even hotel information for every trip he had scheduled in the future. The information they had really was incredible and you held your screen up to his face so he could see.

You saw his eyes widen and look at the screen in front of him and he slowly sat up and grabbed the phone out of your hand as he scrolled through the links.

“I don't need to ask you about your schedule,” you said with a slightly embarrassed frown. This was a big confession for you. You had fully intended to keep your rather stalkerish ways a secret you'd take to the grave but he was so into his little fit you had no choice but to show him exactly how aware of him you were at all times.

“Oh my god.” He said quietly as he scrolled, clicking on links of various fansites, looking around the recent schedule information. There were pictures of him arriving at the airport from earlier in the week as well as sightings around town.

He lifted his hand to cover his mouth and his eyes widened as he looked at you.

You saw the darkness was gone. There was a brightness in them now that paired with the pink on his cheeks from his blush.

“You're a stalker.” You heard him say and you laughed once.

“I'm sorry i didn't know about the cucumbers. I’ll try and pay better attention in the future.” He was still scrolling around your phone and you wondered what it was he was looking at when you remembered how sweet and surprising it was to find him very aware of your onion aversion. You scoured your recent memory of conversations with him and you couldn't quite place where he had picked up that detail about you.

In fact, the more you thought about it, the more certain you were that you had never ever mentioned it.

You had never even shared a meal with him that involved onions in any way. There was the sandwiches you ate that one time in your room with him. There was the bbq at the villa with your friends and the breakfast that morning. No onions to be found there. You absentmindedly watched him smiling down at whatever it was he saw on your phone when you remembered the huge onion rant you made on your own personal blog the same day he was sleeping in your bedroom. The same day he was alone for two hours in there, when he found your printed pictures of him.

Was it possible that he had turned on your computer and found your blog? Did Baekhyun read your blog? You felt a sinking in your chest at the possibility.

“Oppa how did you know that I hate onions?” You had to know. If he had access to your blog then that meant you had very little actual secrets from this man. Your blog was a secret and you had written some very private, very personal things on there that you hadn't ever intended him or anyone to read.

He looked up from your phone and you saw him register your question. You saw his face drop and shift as he glanced around the room, avoiding your eyes for a moment before he looked back at you with his eyes wide and guilty and his lip between his teeth.

“Baekhyun...How did you know?” You asked clearer this time. Maybe he didn't understand the question. Although the look in his eyes told you he understood and was searching his mind for an answer that wouldn't get him into trouble. You remembered the way he told you that he took pictures of your class schedule with his phone and you were suddenly sure that you would find your blog URL bookmarked in his phone as well. So certain in fact that you didn't wait for him to come up with a response to your question.

You bolted through the hotel room, suddenly remembering that he put his own phone on a table in the living area of the suite. You heard him chasing after you and you both reached for his phone at the same time. He was just a little bit stronger than you and he pulled the small device out of your hands and held it up high away room your hands.

“Let me see it, I want to check something Baekhyun. I let you see my phone.” You strained, trying to reach the phone that he held just out of your reach.

“What do you want to know, I’ll just tell you. You don't have to check anything.” His voice was guilty. His face was guilty. Everything about this man looked guilty.

You were certain now that he had read every single entry. The one about the dreams you'd had about him. The one about how sexy your boyfriend was, how good he was in bed, how many things you wanted to do to him. Things you wrote strictly for your own eyes and to help you with the frustrations you felt by being apart from him. Embarrassingly filthy things you knew would make you look like a sex crazed fiend had they ever reached the light of day. Your face was burning the more you thought about him knowing every one of your dark secrets.

You grew desperate and your hand shot forward, digging hard into his ribs to make him drop his hand. He dropped both hands, curling into himself to protect his sensitive abdomen and the phone fell. You dropped to your knees and grabbed the phone quickly as you ran for your life.

You made it to the bathroom and locked the door before you heard him pounding and shouting from behind the heavy bathroom door. It was well insulated in the fancy suite. You could barely make out what he was saying.

You sat on the toilet with trembling hands as you turned his phone on.

As it turned on you heard the pounding on the other side of the door suddenly stop and you swipe to unlock his phone. You'd seen him enter his password plenty of times and you easily gained access to the device.

When you opened his browser on the phone you didn't even have to go to the history because there it was. Looking back at you. Words and word and words written in your own hand, in your own voice. You stared back at your most recent blog entry that you had just written this morning.

He’d read them all.

Something caught your eye. It was a sheet of paper sliding below the bathroom door and as it was pushed through you read the message hastily scrawled on the paper. It was Baekhyun’s hand writing.

_“I’m sorry, I was wrong.”_

You stared down at the note and then looked at the screen of the phone in your hand.

How dare he? You felt betrayed. You felt angry at the invasion of your privacy.

There was another sound coming from the door and you watched a second piece of paper slide under the door.

_“Please come out, you can hit me.”_


	17. Chapter 17

  
You stared at the bathroom door in front of you. You knew he was on the other side and you knew the second you opened the door there would be apologies and excuses and promises flying out of his mouth faster than you could even process what was happening.

You weren't quite ready for that. His phone timed out and went black and you felt a buzz as a new text message came through and illuminated the screen again.

It was from Chanyeol and you quickly locked the phone. The message wasn't for you and you didn't read it.

Because it wasn't your business. It was his.

The longer you sat there holding the phone the more the bitterness grew.

It was his business. This man who had absolutely no concept of respecting your boundaries and privacy, yet you were holding on to his phone as you forced yourself not to read his own personal text messages.

You stood and rushed to the door, pulling it open without any sound or warning and you saw him.

Baekhyun was holding the pad of paper and his pen in one hand as he laid on the floor trying to see under the bathroom door. The second the door flew open he gasped and sat up straight on his knees with his head angled down.

He was blinking rapidly, the guilt and shame evident on his pretty face. His mouth was open and you could see the heavy breathing from his chest.

You dropped his phone into his lap and he scrambled to catch it before it clattered to the floor.

“Chanyeol is texting you. I didn't read it.” Your voice was flat and emotionless even though you wanted to throw something at him and yell at him.

“You can read it.” He said quietly and you saw the wince on his face. He knew exactly what he did wrong. He knew the reasons why reading your personal blog had been wrong.

And yet he was weak.

An insecure, weak man who, when presented with such a temptation lapped it up hungrily without even a hint of restraint.

A slave to his instincts.

For the first time in the months that you'd been dating Baekhyun you looked down at him and you saw the genuine weakness in him. You saw the insecure, immature child who did exactly what he wanted to do when it came to you without any regard for the outcome or the consequences.

But was that an excuse?

Of course it was a reason for his behavior, but was it an excuse? Could you really excuse this?

“Why are you on your knees? Get up.” You walked past his spot on the floor in front of the bathroom as you spoke quietly, going for your own phone which he left on the bed, long forgotten.

When it really came down to it, it was about respect. You were shown, time and time again, his lack of actual respect for you.

“I’m sorry I read it.” You heard him say behind your back. You could tell he wasn't moving from his spot on the floor.

He was lying again.

“No you aren’t. You’re sorry you got caught reading it.”

That was the truth. His bad feelings now weren't about the invasion of your privacy. He was scared you were going to leave him. He was scared that he would lose you for taking liberties with your mind and your personal thoughts and claiming them for himself.

Yet he truly believed he could take what he wanted, whenever he wanted and you had no say in what was his, or what was yours.

This was the true problem in his behavior.

You felt violated. He’d taken something from you without your consent and it didn't help that what he took was something private and downright embarrassing to have him know. It wasn't just that he read it without asking first.

This wasn't his to have. This was yours. Was nothing sacred? Was nothing yours? Did he really have to take it all?

You could feel your temper flaring the more you thought about it. You knew you were close to overreacting and you could feel your hands beginning to tremble as you fumbled with your own phone.

You tried to enter a search online for a cab company that would come and pick you up at the hotel but you realized you didn't know the address. Your eyes flew down to the floor where baekhyun still sat stunned with his eyes wide on you.

He had a notepad from the hotel. Surely the address was written there.

So you moved silently back through the room toward where he sat, useless and silent on the floor. When you reached for the notepad you felt his hand grab ahold of your wrist lightly, stopping you from grabbing what you wanted.

“W-What are you doing?” You heard a very distinct tremble in his voice. It was fear.

You pulled your hand free of his and grabbed the notepad, not wanting to let the sound of his fear sink into your mind and make you waver.

You were always too quick to waver with Baekhyun. Too quick to look the other way and ignore the things he did.

How long did you intend to keep this up? Would you really be okay letting him do whatever he wanted like this?

He rose to his feet when he saw you typing into your phone now, looking for the number for a cab. Looking for a way to leave this place so you could go home and sulk in peace. Without his deep brown eyes looking at you like this. With a look so scared and wounded you wanted to give in.

“What are you doing? Are you leaving?”

It was there. The tremble heightened and his voice sounded too high. Too nervous, too unstable.

“Baby will you just..” he stopped and dropped his face. Eyes closed tightly he stood with his hands on his hips, his chin against his chest, you heard him breath in a gasping breath that didn't sound like it did anything for his courage.

Your hands were shaking too badly and you couldn't get the fucking phone number for the cab company copied into your phone right with him standing so close to you.

“Will you stop with the phone please, c-can we talk about this?” The begging had started. You felt sick. You wanted to go home so you could just have your little break down in private.

Talk? He wanted to talk. You looked up into his face, having gotten the number wrong three times you decided that you’d maybe ask the front desk to call you a cab.

You suddenly felt his hands pull your phone out of your hands and you looked at him with wide eyes, frankly surprised at his nerve. What more was he going to do?

“You can't go. You need to talk to me. I can't just let you go like this.” You could see the panic in his eyes now. Would he really try and stop you from leaving this room?

“I don't want to talk about it.” You knew you were being stubborn, but the fact was you were scared of what you would do if you had to face this right now. You were too upset with him to have any sort of a rational conversation. You moved to sit on the bed. Too worked up to keep from pacing back and forth in front of him you opted to sit down instead.

“I know you're mad at me. You have every right to be, I--”

“You had no _right_ Baekhyun.” You interrupted him loudly and on saw the flinch on his face.

“I don't care how you found it. But once you realized what it was you should have closed it. I feel so…” his face was frozen as he bit down on his lip. He was uncharacteristically still and silent. His eyes were roaming around your face as he processed your words.

“I feel embarrassed. Those were not things you were ever meant to read.” You dropped your face, unable to look into his scared eyes any longer and you felt the bed shift when he sat down next to you.

He was annoyingly silent. You knew it was because he couldn't think of anything to say and he didn't want to apologize over and over when he knew it wouldn't do any good.

“I think maybe a little time away from each other will do us both some good Baekhyun.” You felt sick when the words left your mouth, but it was the truth. Although he would be leaving anyway, saying it outloud, putting words down and claiming his absence as beneficial to the relationship that you knew he so desperately wanted to hold on to tight enough to suffocate it.

You needed to make him understand the value of distance. The value of trust and faith and privacy.

Because if you kept going with the way he was acting, as if it was normal and okay then you could feel the impending doom in the distance. There was only so much you could take.

“Maybe during the tour we can just...take some time apart...talk about it again when you get back. You just focus on your music, I’ll focus on school--”

“Are you breaking up with me?” His voice was low and serious. You couldn't bring yourself to look into his eyes now. You knew what you would find.

“I-I just need some time.” Your voice was too small. Too unsure and you could tell that he was holding it in. Trying to control himself and not lose his cool, or his temper, or his mind.

When you finally looked at him he was staring ahead at nothing. His face was frozen. He opened his mouth to exhale a deep breath and he half closed his eyes as he shook his head. It was a scoff of disbelief.

“A-Are you still my girlfriend?” His question was so soft and terrified sounding you had to pause to close your eyes so you didn't throw your arms around his shoulders and hold him tightly.

“Of course. I love you. I just think we both need a little break from this.” You tried your hardest to keep your voice as level and calm as you could and you heard him sigh next to you. He must have begun to understand what you meant to do here. You thought that maybe he understood.

But something in his next words made you tense.

“So you are still mine. Only mine.”

_Mine._

Again and again.

And you felt it. You felt it rise up within you and you turned to look him in the eyes. Your face must have betrayed the anger you were feeling because you watched the hopeful look that had grew behind his brown eyes fade and vanish right in front of you.

“No Baekhyun. I am not _only_ yours.” Your voice was hard and sarcastic and his brows furrowed as he clenched down on his jaw.

“I'm also mine.” His eyes darted down to track the movement of your hand as you rested your palm over your chest. “Don't you get it? That's the problem here. You think that because we are dating you can do whatever you want with me. I'm a human being. I have a right to secrets and dreams and privacy. You can't just take everything you want, whenever the urge hits you.”

You could tell by the increase in his breathing that he was about to speak. He now looked just as agitated as you felt. The meek kicked puppy was gone and you looked on his hands where he still held on tight to your phone.

“What's so wrong with wanting you? I'm --”

He was breathing faster now and his eyes were wet. Baekhyun usually had a hard time getting upset and not crying. He was an emotional person and you saw the roll of his wet eyes when the first tear slid down his cheek. He swiped at it quickly, clearly annoyed with the weaknesses vulnerability that he always showed you.

“I’m sorry that I took liberties with your life. I'm so in love with you that I saw the chance to learn more about you and I took it instantly. I never even considered that you might be hurt by that. Honestly I never wanted to hurt you. I'm not going to read it again. I promise.” A few more tears fell as he spoke and his voice was nowhere near stable.

“I-If you still want to take a break in the morning maybe you -- you -- can you stay with me please?”  
  
You watched his face. His lip trembled and his eyes were wide on your face. Wet and brimming with his emotions. His cheeks, his nose, his lips all pink.

You knew the second you nodded your head and agreed to stay the night with him you'd forgive him of all of it and instantly lose your nerve. And he wouldn't stop. It would get worse and worse until finally you couldn't take it anymore. As it was now, you were already close to that point.

But you loved him. And you didn't want to get to the point of no return. The point where the violation and anger you felt toward him overshadowed that love.

So you shook your head.

It was a microscopic movement but when he saw it you saw his eyes close up, the tears fell and he dropped his head, letting out a small cry, releasing the pain he was now feeling consume him.

You reached for your phone and you saw him wrap his arms around himself briefly before he covered his face with his hands.

He tried. You could tell he tried to stifle the cries by the quiet gasping you heard coming from behind his hands and you felt your heart ripping to pieces when you turned your back to walk away.

“How--”

He was speaking quietly from behind you. Your steps which had only just begun stopped.

“How am I going to get through this without you? You're my favorite person. What am I going to do? What do I do now?”

You didn't want to answer. You didn't want to tell him that everything was ok and he could call and text as much as he wanted and promise that you'd always answer and that everything would go back to normal because you knew that wouldn't work.

You knew that in order for this relationship to have a chance at all this had to happen. He had to learn to respect you and any amount of weakness would just throw him back into his old ways. He would simply continue using you as he wanted and taking whatever he could as he had in the past.

Your legs moved. Carrying you quickly out of the room. The door clicked loudly as it shut behind you and you ran down the long hallway toward the elevators before you broke down and started crying right there in the hallway.

You caught a cab outside and the cab driver simply ignored you as you cried in his backseat.

You hadn't expected to get any sleep that night. The hours dragged and passed and your eyes looked at the clock at the exact moment that you knew he would be at the airport for a flight that would soon be departing.

Your phone even illuminated with an update from a fansite. A preview picture from the airport of Baekhyun going through security. It was nearly real time too. You knew he would still be waiting to board. He wore his face mask and hood. And the same clothes from last night. His hair was limp and his eyes were covered with sunglasses.

You felt new tears fall when you saw the picture the pushy paparazzi-like fans got showing the closeup of his face. The view behind his glasses that showed puffy red rimmed eyes with tears in them.

Your soul ached for him.

His sadness wasn't even his own.

Nothing was his own. And now you'd taken yourself away from him too.  
  
\---------------------------------

The first week was quiet. Baekhyun didn't call or text you right away as you had expected him to and you were actually getting quite a bit of work done for your classes. You had slacked a bit, admittedly, but with him silent and occupied you actually found yourself able to concentrate better and you saw a sharp increase in your grades because of it.

After the first week though, you began to ache to hear from him. You'd unsubscribed from his fan sites, and had stopped paying such close attention his schedule, for your own sake but your hands felt itchy.

Eventually you caved one night and pulled up his latest schedule. You could see that he was in some foreign country you’d never even imagined going to and from the photos from the most recent show your heart leapt when you saw him.

He was just as beautiful as always. His skin bright, his hair a new color, his eye makeup dark and dramatic and you saw the smile on his face for his fans.

You were struck with the instant realization that the smile on his face never once reached his eyes and when he finally couldn't smile any more you saw it. A darkness on his face that hadn't been there before.

The guilt that this was your doing was creeping up your spine and you tried to push it away. Of course by now your anger at his behavior had faded some.

It was during one such evening that you lied in your bed when you felt your phone buzz. It was a short single buzz that told you it was a text message and you felt your heart leap up into your throat when you read the name on the message.

 _Chocolate & Curry_.

It was him. You knew the second you swiped to read the message, his phone would tell him that you had done so and you stared at your screen for long enough for it to time out.

After a short while you felt one more buzz.

The darkness in his eyes flashed at you from your recent memory.

How could the pull be so strong? You felt like a hypocrite and a failure as you swiped and opened his messages.

_”I know this is against the rules. But, I'm sorry. I can't stand it. Are you having fun? Is this fun for you? Because I’m hardly even functioning anymore. I messed up 3 times on stage today and all I can see is your face.”_

_”I’m sorry. Ignore me. I’m just being a dramatic asshole again. I’ll stop now.”_

Your fingers hovered over the screen, debating on responding… not responding...would a reply just make it harder? Of course it would.

So you turned off your phone and stuck it deep inside a drawer at your desk. You turned off your light and you closed your eyes.

It only took two hours for your mind and heart to calm down enough for sleep.

His face and his skin and his smell haunted your dreams and you woke feeling even less rested than before you laid down.

You rubbed your eyes and sat up. After your shower and breakfast you finally moved to retrieve your phone. Your biggest temptation in life lie on the other end of this phone and you weren't exactly in a hurry to see if he sent any more messages.

More than that, you were dreading the idea that he did not.

How could you be so weak? How could you be so desperate for him? Why weren't you living up to your own rules for this break. You'd already checked in with his schedules and the fan sites, aching for images of his face. For any sign of life from his end.

How cruel were you planning on being to the man you loved so deeply? Were you the real asshole here? The one who got to see him every day if you wanted, but didn't give him any chances to see you? He was the one who had to suffer in silence without you.

You shook your head as you turned your phone back on.

Two messages.

You didn't hesitate to read them. At least that would tell him that you were alive and that you cared enough to see what he sent.

_”I’ve stared at my phone for two hours waiting now…but I guess you won't respond.”_

The next message was time stamped hours later.

_”You didn't have to turn off your phone. I’m sorry for bothering you.”_

You wondered if he just assumed because you hadn't read them that your phone was off. You tried to ignore the idea of him calling you. You couldn't think about resisting that man’s voice right now.

His messages continued. Sporadically spaced throughout the weeks. Some sad, some apologetic. Most of them just him talking to you about things. You could feel it. The pull was drawing him back to you and he was trying his hardest to respect the break. To respect the fact that you hadn't responded to a single message of his yet and you obviously didn't plan on doing so.

After a weeks of increasing messages your phone rang once in the middle of the night near the end of the long tour and you were jolted awake by the sound. You hadn't expected it and your hand immediately went to the phone, pressing any button you could find and holding the offending device up to your ear.

“Hello,” your voice was low and heavy with sleep and your mind too hazy to register that you were even on the phone.

Until you heard a sigh on the other line. A sound so significant in your mind that your eyes flew open, and your mind was ripped out of the sleep you had been in so deep. You’d answered Baekhyun's call in your sleep and here he was sighing on the line at the sound of your voice.

“I’m sorry I woke you. I thought it would go to voicemail.” His voice was quiet and soft. Your sweet gentle Baekhyun that spoke to you in his sweetest voice when he knew you were sleepy.

You closed your eyes as you zipped your lips closed tightly. His voice was so beautiful and tempting and you knew you were weak to him. Too weak. And it had been so long. After a low frustrated groan from your chest you couldn't do it.

You either had to hang up this call or talk to him but this silence wasn't going to work for you.

“Why did you call?” You balled your hand into a tight fist, pressing your fingernails deep into your skin. You were mad at yourself. You were so easily swayed by him.

“Because I’m sad. I wanted to listen to your outgoing voice message so I could hear your voice.” You heard him scoff at himself. A soft sarcastic laugh that told you just how pathetic he found himself right now.

“Baekhyun,” your own voice was admonishing. You couldn't help it. He was torturing himself with this when all he had to do was go about his day as a normal functioning adult and finish the tour. At the end of the tour the break would be over and you both could talk about boundaries and privacy and respect.

All of these dramatics weren't even necessary. Sure it sucked, it hurt and it was hard to be apart from him, but it wasn't permanent.

How could he be so stubborn?

“I know. I know and I’m sorry okay. You know me. But I am trying here. This is about respect right? I think I’m getting it. You'll have to give me some credit soon. For such a dense guy I think I’m finally learning something from you.”

You were silent for a moment, actually taken aback by his words now, you had no response for him.

You heard him sigh into the line again.

“Can I just ask you one thing?” He’d waited for your answer and you heard a sound on the other side of the line. Something tapping against something hard. He was probably fidgeting with something to occupy his hands.

“Okay,” you finally replied as you braced for whatever question it was he had worked up the nerve to ask you.

“Do you miss me?” His question was a whisper against the line and you wanted to laugh. You wanted to cry. You wanted to reach through the phone line and take his phone away from him and throw it against the wall. How could he possibly imagine a reality in which you didn't miss him. How could he need reassurance so badly about the one thing he knew in his soul to be an absolute truth.

“Yes,” you said in the most patient voice you could muster.

“As much as I miss you?” His voice was decidedly lighter with this question and you had an urge to hang up the phone before you started doing something silly like giggling and flirting with this man. You were supposed to be on a break. Breaks didn't include hushed phone calls at 3am as you snuggled in your bed and smiled into your pillow.

“More.” You said, trying to keep your answers short. You shouldn't even be engaging him right now. Why did his voice have to sound like that?

You heard a hum from him. An appreciative sound that was low and originated from deep within his chest.

Why was he so sexy sounding all of a sudden and what was that sigh that you kept hearing from the back of his throat?

If you were being honest it sounded just like the way he spoke to you during sex. You felt a spark inside you at the idea. At the memories of making love with Baekhyun.

His hands on you, his mouth on you, his tongue, his lips and his dick.

So you made a mistake.

It was one breath with the smallest of moans behind it, and once you did it your hand flew up to cover your mouth quickly.

It wasn't quick enough because he suddenly went completely silent. His breathing stopped and the sighs stopped and you both went silent on the line. Neither daring to speak first. Neither wanting to hang up either.

“Are you--” he spoke first. But stopped to inhale a deep breath before he continued.

“Are you in your bed?” And you heard it. It was unmistakable.

Desperate. Longing. Needy, wanting, yet terrified Byun Baekhyun.

You froze. Your skin buzzing and your own need growing as you listened to his steady breathing on the line. And he was waiting.

He was waiting and probably expecting you to hang up the call.

It was a dare from him. _I dare you to hang up. I dare you to answer my question._ He knew it was 3am and he knew you had been asleep. He knew exactly where you were. In your bed. The same bed that he'd made love to you in so many times.

His simple five word question whispered into your ear at 3am ignited a flame and that flame either needed some kindling or a quick breath of air before you singed your fingers.

“Yes.”

You were weak.

A sound into your ear. He had his hand over his face and was breathing through fingers closed tightly over his skin. A moan. A fucking moan now from the back of his throat and you knew you were lost.

“Fuck baby what are you doing to me? Why haven't you hung up on me yet. You know what I'm after.”

Your heart pounded inside your chest and you could feel the heat flooding your skin. He was definitely very affected and you wondered if he was hard already. Maybe he was hard before he called you.

Maybe he was calling your voicemail to listen to your voice for this. Was the man this desperate? Didn't he have the internet at the hotel he was staying at.

“What are you after Baekhyun?” You asked and you could hear it in your voice. You were letting him get to you. Did you ever even have a chance when he sounded like that?

“You know damn well, love” he growled out in a low serious voice that sent a chill down your spine and landed in a shower of sparks right between your legs.

You heard him inhale a slow breath with a low groan on the ends of it before you heard him pause to speak again.

“I’m trying to get rid of my headache.” You heard another sound from him. The sound he made when he whined into your ear as he pushed inside of you.

“Baby?--” his voice sounded out sweetly in your ear and you closed your eyes as your breath caught in your throat. You knew he could hear it. You knew he could hear your breathing quicken and you weren't really trying to hide it from him anymore. You were feeling too aroused. It had been a while since you even felt like touching yourself and with him cooing into your ear in that fucking voice now you felt the urge. It was strong and it was intense.

“Baby will you help me get rid of my headache? I've been in pain for a week.” From the sounds leaving the back of his throat and the stifled way he spoke out his request you knew he was already stroking himself.

“What do you need?” He laid his bait and you fell for it. You fell right to his trap he’d so carefully set out. You wondered if you ever stood a chance at all.

“You,” he said softly and you sighed into the phone as you listened to him now. You could feel your phone heating up as it laid against your cheek and you gave in to the urge to slip your hand down between your legs, teasing over your panties. You could feel the heat there and you knew you were already wet. Too affected by him.

“I need to listen to you -- touching yourself. Please, baby I need to cum so badly. I haven't been able to at all. This whole time, I keep trying and nothing is working. I'm in so much fucking pain. I need you, please.”

His confession poured out of him...brutally honest and raw. You could hear the desperation in his plea. You knew he was telling you the truth.

“Is that why you called me? To listen to my voicemail message and jerk off?” Your tone wasn't judgemental, but you sounded more amused than anything. That he would use your voice saying something as mundane as an outgoing voicemail greeting to jerk off to was -- flattering to say the least.

“I've been trying for 20 minutes. I guess I got desperate. My balls are bluer than my heart.”

You breathed out a laugh, unable to hold it back when he told dirty jokes like this.

“You’re gross,” you complained in a light playful tone and you could hear the smile on his lips as he spoke.

“You love it,” he said quietly and you found yourself nodding in agreement as you hummed in response.

“Are you wearing panties?” Your mind wandered back to your hand that rested over your panties and you hummed another response, letting him know that you were.

“Take them off.” There was a change in his tone now and you registered that he was no longer begging you. This was different. This felt like an order and you debated again. Torn between giving him what he wanted and doing what you knew was the right thing.

Eventually your lust won out because you shifted and shimmied your panties down and kicked them off of your legs.

“Are you hard Baekhyun?” You knew he was. You could hear it in his voice but you had to ask.

You heard his slow moving moan and an inhale before he spoke.

“My dick’s been hard as a rock since you answered. My hand is too dry though. I miss you. You're always so wet and so tight. God you feel so fucking good baby.” You could hear a hitch in his breath. Ragged breaths punctuated by little moans of pleasure as he stroked his dick.

“P-Play with yourself. I want your fingers in your pussy and I want to hear how wet you are. Will you do that for me, baby?”

You were ahead of him. Your hand had snuck down between your legs to slide around your wetness when your panties were gone. As you rubbed against your swollen clit with the tip of your finger you let him hear how affected you felt by it. By his sinful words into your ear and by the things you heard him doing to himself on the line. You suddenly felt bolder with your moans and whines as you touched yourself for him.

Your breathing was louder and the sounds he was making made your wetness grow. The sounds filled your small room, slickness below a quick hand and flesh hitting flesh.

“Oppa, do you want to hear me play with myself?” You heard him whine out a sound before he groaned out a quick yes. Unable to control his voice anymore you knew he was growing closer to the release he so desperately wanted.

When you moved your phone down to hover hear your hand, just above your soaked core you made sure the noise was loud. You made sure he knew what you were doing and you made sure he could hear it loud and clear.

The phone was back on your ear and you heard his panting breaths now. Staggered and uneven.

“F-fuck baby, a-are you close? I want to hear you cum” he whined out noisily. You wondered if he was holding himself back from cumming.

“God I want to taste you. You taste so good when you cum, love. You have to let me taste you when I get back. I want my tongue inside you when you cum on my face.”  
His mouth was running fast and his words were bold. You felt the building tension inside your abdomen, telling you that you were close. Telling you that he was going to make you cum with his dirty talk in your ear and you were going to enjoy it.

There was an increase in your breathing again, highlighted by higher pitched moans and you felt yourself giving in to the overwhelming wave that was crashing over your head.

“That’s it baby cum for me, cum for Oppa. You sound so fucking sexy baby, fuck your pussy and let me hear you cum.”

The wave washed over you and you were drowning. With your mouth open and a strangled cry, you came hard and your muscles tensed and trembled and you heard his voice on the line as his whining reached a new level. He was cursing between short bursts of sounds into your ear. The sound of him cumming, the sound of his release.

You had gone quiet as you listened to him climax and soon recover. His breathing still too hard for words, his breaths came out in long puffs in your ear that slowly evened out and lengthened.

“Fuck. Fucking hell, finally. God that feels so good now. Ahh fuck I made a mess.” The silence at the end of his orgasm only lasted a second before he was talking again and you smiled to yourself. The high of your own release fading into a contentedness that made you drowsy.

“You made a mess?” You repeated, half awake now and you heard him giggle to himself.

“Yeah I came all over the bed. Shit. I’ll have to leave a tip for the maid.”

“So gross.” You complained through your sleepiness and you heard him laugh.

“You love it.” Your laughter faded with his words and you felt yourself drifting. You could hear him moving around and you tried to keep your mind alert to what he was saying but it was growing more and more difficult.

Eventually he asked something that you missed and you heard him giggling again into the phone.

“Are you sleeping?” You heard that one and hummed into the line.

“Will you call me tomorrow?” You half recognized that he was saying something so you hummed again. “You promise?”

“Yeah. Goodnight Oppa.” You said as you pushed any button that would stop the noise in your ear so you could sleep.

You felt a few buzzes against your ear, you phone doing things that you didn't want to wake up for and you moved it away so it wouldn't disturb you any more.

The next morning you were running late. You scrambled to get ready, having accidentally turned off your alarm after the phone call with Baekhyun. You must have done it in your sleep somehow. On the bus ride you glanced down at your phone and saw several messages waiting. All from Baekhyun.

A flash of familiarity rose inside you as you scrolled through seeing sweet messages peppered with cutesy emoticons and silly stories he'd apparently been eager to share with you. As you read through nearly 15 separate messages you were struck with a sinking feeling.

After the phone sex last night he must be under the impression that the break was no longer in effect. One weak moment on your part...caught off guard and lonely and you caved to him. And now he was flooding your phone with messages like nothing ever even happened in the first place.

You reached your stop for your school and quickly got off the bus as you rushed to class. You didn't have time to deal with Baekhyun right now. You'd just have to set him straight later. You had a lab report to turn in and a group meeting to attend after this class. You had been chosen as the group member who would type out the final draft of the report that was worth 25% of your grade, as well as the other members grades as well. The information was vast and complex but the progress had been going smoothly. You got lucky with a group of students who gave a damn. There wasn't a single dead weight on your team.

After the meeting you rushed back home for a quick lunch before you had to begin compiling data and sources for the rough draft of your paper. You had it all outlined and another group member had painstakingly organized it in the most concise easy to follow order for the paper.

You had exactly one more day to get it finished and turned in and in the back of your mind you recalled that Baekhyun's long tour should be ending soon. He was due to return at just about the same time as you would be typing out and submitting the final draft of the group’s paper. it was bound to be a stressful and hectic time for you and you hoped he would understand if you had to push your important talk with him back a few days.

The talk about your relationship was important to you. It was essential to be able to continue down the same path you had been taking with him that he understand the dos and don'ts of being in a relationship. Namely respect. Respect for your rights as a human being including the right to privacy and trust. All of these issues needed to be addressed with him and you had to make him understand how important it was to you. How important he was to you.

You were in front of your laptop and you could feel the fatigue hitting you hard. You'd been working for five hours since you got back home and you were so close to completing the rough draft. This was the hardest part. The pages and pages of data and sources all had to be compiled in a way that was informative while not being boring. You could see the end in sight as you typed furiously, ignoring the buzzing that was happening on your lap where you phone sat.

You glanced down and saw that Baekhyun was calling you. You just needed a few more sentences and you could send the file to your group to have them approve it and begin editing for grammar, typos and syntax.

The annoying buzzing was happening again and you knew you had to answer to make it stop so you grabbed your phone and answered.

“Baekhyun, I'm in the middle of a--”

“Why didn't you call me?” He immediately interrupted you and something in his voice sounded off. Your fingers kept typing and you could hear a deep breath on the line from his end.

Your mind moved between your notes and the screen quickly as you typed and you missed what he said.

“I’m sorry Baekhyun, I’m just trying to get this done. I’m going to have to let you go”  
You quickly dropped the phone, half paying attention to the words he said as you hit the end button and you thought you might have heard “Don't hang up” but you were too focused on finishing to be sure. A glance at the clock told you that your group had only one more hour before it had to be submitted and you prayed you could get it emailed to them to begin the proof reading in time.

Your phone was buzzing again and you looked down. Of course it was Baekhyun.

You had two more lines. Just two. So you quickly typed them out as you let the phone ring.

With a final period to end your sentence you hit sent on the document and looked down at your phone. He was already calling again and you sighed in relief at being done with your part.

“Hi, Sorry I was busy. What’s up?” You felt lighter already and you could hear how free your own voice sounded on the phone.

“Where are you?” You definitely couldn't say the same for him. His voice held a sort of tension in it that you rarely heard from him and you opened your mouth to speak but quickly closed it. What was this mood? Your mind was flashing something in your memory and a sudden voice called out in your sleep.

_”Call me tomorrow morning? You promise?”_

Had you really promised him you would call him? Even during the break when you weren't speaking to each other like you used to? Why would you have agreed to that?

“Are you there or did you hang up on me again?” The shortness in his voice threw you back and you closed your eyes as you exhaled a deep breath you didn't know you were holding.

“Sorry, I’ve been super busy with school. I was trying to get something finished in time and i just barely made it.” You looked at your computer screen with your hand over your chest when you noticed it.

The green _sent_ button was red. The button that should have been green was a ominous red mark and it stared at you as you felt your stomach drop.

The document never sent. You never sent the document to your team and now you were sure there wasn't enough time to edit the document before it had to be submitted for a grade. You would have to edit the document yourself.

“Fuck, Baekhyun, I need to go I can't talk right now. I have to fix something.”

“Don't you fucking hang up on me again” He sounded angry. Angrier than you'd ever heard him sound before and it made you freeze. What was this? Why was he suddenly so upset with you? You could feel the mounting stress of the situation.

“Are you telling me you can't give me five minutes of your time right now?” His voice was higher and more demanding as he spoke and you felt your own temper flaring i response.

“No! Listen to me. I have exactly 15 minute to finish this fucking paper and submit it or we fail. Not just me, but all of my group will fail. Four different people who have worked their asses off for this are expecting me to do my part and I need to get it done Baekhyun.”

“Who the fuck are those people? Are they more important than your boyfriend?” He was breathing harder now and the puff of air over the speaker of the phone only accentuated his anger.

“Right now they are. I’m sorry, but I’m hanging up.” You hit the button on your phone that ended his call.

You quickly tossed the annoying phone across the room where it bounced on your bed and onto the floor with a thud and there it sat motionless for exactly 30 seconds before you could hear a faint buzzing.

You ignored it. You had to. Your fingers and your eyes were flying across the document finding typos and grammar mistakes at records speed. You had to get it done. You had to.

As you selected and fixed the last typos you could find you quickly changed the recipient of the document so you could submit the final copy. You were sure to copy everyone in the group so they knew the document was submitted in time before you hit sent and you watched the hour glass churn as the paper was sent and accepted with a bright green button that told you it was sent.

You felt like you had run a marathon and your hands ached from the repetitive typing for so long.

His face flashed in your mind. And his anger replayed in your memory.

You knew if you called him now he would be too upset for any rational discussion but you also knew that the longer you waited the harder it would be to face him.

You chewed on your thumb nail as you looked down at your phone that still sat on the floor.

You took your time as you watched the stupid thing lying there. So innocuous looking, yet so much trouble just waiting to happen.

When you picked it up you saw the notifications. Missed calls from the whole day. Text messages and voicemails. He had been trying to get ahold of you all day long and apparently you had missed every single attempt. Until now. His final attempts that you only answered to silence the buzzing.

You felt the guilt. You had promised him that you would call. Even if you made that promise in your sleep and you didn't actually remember it until now. You still felt bad.

There was a light knock on your door and you lifted your head in question. Your door slowly opened and you saw your mom peek her head through the opening.

“Your boyfriend is outside. He says he wants to talk to you.” Her words were innocent enough in delivery but the content of her message sent a chill of dread down your spine.

Baekhyun was back, and now he was mad.


	18. Chapter 18

You were angry.

Of course you felt bad. From the dozens of missed calls and text messages that stared up at you from your illuminated cell phone you could see the build up of his frustrations and anger. You scrolled through his messages, watching the questions fly past your screen.

_Where are you? Why aren't you answering._

_Why didn't you call me?_   
_Why did you tell me you were going to call me if you never planned on calling?_

_You promised me you would. Why are you doing this?_

_How much am I supposed to take? You should have hung up the phone last night if you were going to do this._

_We need to talk, I’m coming over._

You'd forgotten about Baekhyun today. With the stress of your deadline you'd completely neglected to check your phone and your sleepy promise from late last night was long forgotten with your dreams. The distant echo of his words asking you to call him tomorrow morning and your agreement, hastily tossed out with such carelessness it never even made a dent in your mind. You never even remembered it.

You felt bad, but your anger overshadowed your guilt.

You were both on a break. Right? The more you thought about his overreaction to this and his inability to understand how you could possibly be busy during a time when you had assignments due and projects to complete and turn in, the angrier you felt.

How was this fair? For him to get so angry and demanding of your time when you were met with the exact same situation from him time and time again. He was busy. He was busy constantly and your texts to him sat unread countless times and for hours. Your familiarity with his voice mail message burned in the back of your mind. You knew every breath and every pause and every fucking word of that message because you'd heard it so many times. Every time you'd tried to call him and he didn't answer because you knew he had a life and a career that demanded so much from him. Yet you never got this mad. You never even raised an eyebrow at it. Because this was his life and you got it. You instantly got it. Why was he so obtuse? Why was he allowed to throw this fit but you weren't?

You felt your heart pounding in your chest as you slowly made your way down the stairs to the side door that led into the dim dark alleyway where you knew you'd find him waiting. Fuming. Angry and upset at you for your oversight. For hanging up on him twice in the last two hours when he so desperately wanted to talk to you, to voice his anger and his frustrations at your behavior.

The rage as he demanded your attention. Just five minutes of your time so he could what? Yell at you? Tell you what a bad person you were for torturing him like this? Because you were busy and would dare to have obligations to other people who weren't him and those five minutes would have spelled disaster for other people too, not just yourself? Did he really not understand that you were a student?

When you reached the bottom of the stairs you pushed against the door slowly, peering around the edge and you saw him. You saw his silhouette leaning against the wall with his hood up and his hands in his pockets. You saw his head turn as he recognized the movement of you pushing the door open and he was moving quickly.

So you pulled the door closed.

There was a foot stuck in the door in a flash and you held the door still.

“What do you want?”

Your own voice sounded purposefully flat as you tried to rein in your anger. You could feel it bubbling just below the surface threatening to explode. The stress from school wasn't helping your mood any.

“I need to talk to you,” he said and you heard the clench of his jaw. You heard the harsh tone of his voice.

“No. You don't want to talk to me, you want to yell at me.” You said through the crack in the door. You recognized the inappropriate sarcasm and flippancy in your own voice. Perhaps it was a way to cope with your own anger. Perhaps it was a way to cope with his.

“Stop that.” His voice was serious and you felt your blood rush to your face. You bit down on your lip hard to keep your emotions controlled as you heard the tone of his voice.

“Stop it, you don't get to fucking do that. You can't just act like this is a fucking joke and make this go away. Get out here so I can say what I need to say. I’m not okay and I'm not fucking playing with you right now.”

Anger. The anger in his voice was overwhelming and all consuming and you felt your heart pounding furiously in your chest as you tried to fight the sickness that threatened to swallow you.

He wanted to _say what he needed to say_. Why was he the only one who got to voice his complaints and dissatisfaction with you. What about what you needed to say? You pushed at the door hard and you half noticed the step back he took at your sudden burst through the doorway. You heard the door slam shut loudly behind you and his eyes stayed trained on you as you advanced on him.

The bright red fringes of his hair peeked out from under his black hood and the shocking color brought out the pink of his flushed face and the pink of his lips that he held into a straight tense line.

His chest rose and fell rapidly with each hard breath he took and you saw his mouth open to speak before he spun around and let out a loud growl into the blackness behind him. His fists were balled up tight on the ends of tensed arms and you saw him shaking in agitation before whirled back around to face you.

Was this how it would be? You half-registered the danger of the situation. The heightened anger from both of you would only lead to trouble. He wouldn’t...you didn’t even care to give words to the possibilities.

You crossed your arms over your chest and held your chin up high. Bracing for whatever it was he had to tell you now. For whatever it was that couldn't wait until tomorrow when you weren't stressed out of your mind with school work.

“What the fuck--” he started harshly and you heard the pause in his words, his mouth open mid speech, he inhaled a deep breath and blinked as his eyes trailed around the empty ally, seeing absolutely nothing else but his temper.

“What do you think you are doing?” He said once he found his words again and he pulled his bottom lip in between his teeth as he looked at you with raised eyebrows.

“About what Baekhyun? I’m a student, I’m busy with school work. I was busy today.” Your voice was too high. Too angry sounding but you couldn't help it. Was he really about to berate you for being busy? What a hypocrite.

“Do you have any idea, what it’s like---to feel as used as I am feeling right now?”

“Because that's the only way I can see it. I've been thinking about it all fucking day and l-last night, you used me. You should have hung up the fucking phone if you were going to be like this. If you were going to--” There was an almost crazed look in his eyes as he spoke and you saw him take a step closer to where you stood clenching your fists hard

“I--”

“I was waiting all morning for your call. I thought the month is up, this stupid fucking break of yours is over and we can get back to normal, back to how we were...but you-- you lied to me.”

“I never lied to you!” You said too loudly and he took another step, nearly in your face now with his anger and the hard scowl on his red face. You saw the veins in his neck bulging, unbridled and off the tracks now.

“You fucking-- promised me!” His voice was near yelling now and you flinched when he lifted his hand to emphasize his point with his finger in your face. You took a step back, looking for distance from his shouting. Looking for something to keep you from snapping back at him and shouting in his face at how wrong he was. How mislead and misguided and how much of a spoiled brat he was acting like now.

“But you don't even care do you? You’re busy and that's all that matters. Fuck me right? Because I’m so fucking pathetically in love with you, it doesn't even matter what you do?”

“What I do? What did I do? I didn't do anything. I got busy and I forgot that I told you I would call--”

“YOU forgot because you never meant it to begin with!” He interrupted you loudly shouting over the words you were trying to get out. Shouting over your meager defense and you could feel your heart racing in your chest. He wouldn't even let you speak now. He was too mad and too overbearing.

“Admit it! You fucking used me last night to get off and then completely forgot about me again--” his eyes were wide and you felt his hot breath against your face as he spoke.

He was moving. He was doing something and your eyes widened with his next words.

“Do you think I won't do the same to you? If you can use me, I can use you right?”

You felt his mouth against yours and his hands gripped your face roughly. His lips pushed yours apart and you felt his tongue push into your mouth forcefully. You gasped against him and moved your hands to his chest, trying to give space, trying to push him away. Trying to turn your face at the taste of him. His mouth tasted like alcohol. The acrid flavor so strong against your tongue you wondered why you didn't smell it all over him earlier.

How much did he drink for the taste to be so strong and overpowering. He didn't even feel like Baekhyun anymore. This angry forceful stranger who gnashed his teeth against your lips and squeezed too hard against your jaw. You hated it. You hated this, why was he doing this to you?

You pushed with your hands against his firm chest. Using every ounce of strength that you had, you shoved against him and he stumbled back away from you with a sickening smirk on his lips. You saw him lift a hand and wipe away the wetness around his mouth before his black eyes looked at you again. You saw a humorless chuckle leave his lips that made you feel sick. This wasn't Baekhyun. This was someone else. You wanted him to leave and you wanted to start over. Once the alcohol was gone and the rage had subsided.

After a tense stare down that chilled your spine, you saw him regain his balance and he was moving again, back into your space, back in your face with the stench of alcohol that overcame your nose again as he moved.

“Do you know who I am?” Your eyes widened at his question.

There was no way he was pulling this.

“Do you? Have you ever really thought about this?” His jaw was shivering as he spoke and you saw him rub against his chin roughly and you closed your eyes.

“Open your eyes and look at me.”

You wanted to turn. You wanted to leave. You wanted to escape this argument that you couldn't have any more. You couldn't make yourself believe that this was really happening no matter how real it felt. No matter how bad the taste of alcohol that sat on your tongue was.

Your eyelids betrayed you and you looked at him, despite your desires to keep them closed, you couldn't resist. His words grew bolder.

“Do you think you are irreplaceable?”

And more vile.

“Do you think you are that special?”

Your hand flew long before you realized what you were doing and when you heard the smack of skin against skin your eyes widened to see your hand hovering just over his face. Just centimetres shy of its target. His own strong hand gripped tightly around your wrist having stopped you from slapping him.

His eyes were black and he was scowling. His grip around your wrist was painful and the longer he looked at you the tighter he squeezed down.

“I’m Byun Baekhyun. I could replace you in a heartbeat. Do you know how many women throw themselves at me daily? Begging for me to fuck them? Hundreds...thousands. You---you are noth--”

You had two hands. You struck out hard and you aimed for his face. You felt his face give where you hit over his right eye, your left fist sinking into his soft flesh. He grunted in pain and his hand dropped your wrist as he moved back to cover his face with both of his hands.

You felt the pain surge through your own fist and you shook out your left hand hard. You heard the sound of metal clattering along the pavement and you looked down to see your silver ring fall to the floor at your feet, having slipped off your finger. It rolled along the ground and settled with a tinny sound at the toe of his shoe.

You were silent and still and he was hunched over himself as he covered his right eye with his hand. You watched as he bent down to pick up the small ring that had settled at his foot. He stood and he looked down into his hand that held the ring.

You had hit him. You felt a wave of regret at the realization that you had actually punched him in the face. That beautiful face that you loved and never wanted to see in pain, you’d actually done that to him. Your anger and your rage at his careless, heartless, horrible words had gotten the best of you and you hurt him.

You saw his eyes moving and he was blinking hard as the pain of his eye seemed to get lost in the rest of his face. You saw pain there. It was clear and it was definite. It was sadness. It was remorse. It was still anger but it was different now as he looked down at the ring he now held in his hands. The one that matched his own.

“B-Baek--” you started to speak. To ask if he was ok, to tell him that you hadn't thrown that ring at him but to let him know that it was an accident. You wanted to see if his eye was okay and you wanted him to sober up and speak to you normally about all this that had happened.

“Let’s stop this.” He interrupted you. His eyes refusing to look up at you now. You saw him drop his hand that was resting over his eye and you could see the very obvious redness there. Irritated and red skin around his eye that would surely leave a bruise.

“Oppa,” you said in quiet disbelief.

“I’m tired.” He said and you felt your words get stuck in your throat. Thickness making your voice no longer work.

“I’m tired of begging you to love me. I’m tired of wishing I had just a fraction of your affection. Of your time. Of your attention. I’m tired of begging you to give me something….anything...and then stealing it because you won’t trust me enough to share yourself with me.”

“Im tired...I cant do this anymore. I--”

There was a tremble in his voice. An instability that told you how serious he was about the words he was telling you now. He couldn't be, it was impossible. Yet as he continued to speak you could hear the definite decision he had made. He sounded certain. And you felt him hit you back. You felt it with his words as he threw you away from him. His words stung against your flesh in the cold night.

“I give up...I’m done. I give up.” You felt the breath leave your chest and he was turning.

_No--_

His steps were staggered and he was stumbling. Too overcome, too drunk, too consumed to walk straight anymore. Too bereaved to pretend that he was okay you saw him reach out for the wall of the dry cleaner to steady himself as he walked away from you. As he walked out of your life.

_You loved him, no don't--_

Your own breathing was too fast and you felt a wetness against your face as you watched his retreating figure grow smaller and he was at the street, his hand was in the air and the taxi pulled up in front of him.

He didn't turn back once. The car drove away with him curled up somewhere inside the backseat--

And he was gone.

Just like that Baekhyun was gone.

You weren't sure how long you leaned against that wall before the cold of the night got to you, shaking your bones.

Inside your home was quiet except for the sound of the tv in the living room at a low volume. Some late night show that your dad always fell asleep watching.

You felt dazed as you walked through your door and you saw your dad sleeping sitting up on the sofa. His head resting against a pillow he'd propped up against his head.

You saw him stir when you walked into the room and his snoring stopped for a moment before he sighed and started to snore again.

You moved further into the room and sat down onto the sofa next to him, tucking your hands around his arm and squeezing him tightly against you. You knew you were still crying and you quickly tucked your head against his arm as he woke up.

“Hmm?” He asked as he was pulled from the sleep he was in.

You squeezed tightly against his arm as your tears fell against his sleeve.

After a moment he spoke in a soft voice that sounded like just your dad.

“What happened?” He said quietly over your head and you felt him shift to wrap his arms around you, pulling you into the warmth of his chest.

You didn't respond. You merely shook your head and he shushed as he rubbed your back.

“Shh...it was just a dream. It was just a bad dream. You'll forget all about it tomorrow morning.” He finally said and you wished with every ounce of hope inside you that he was telling you the truth.


	19. Chapter 19

It was no surprise that you didn't sleep that night. Your mind was a jumble of memories, of fears and sadness.

  
You felt loss.

_He was gone. Baekhyun was gone._

It was complete and all consuming and you cried into your pillow until exhaustion pulled you into stupor that left you feeling cloudy and disconnected.

The horrendous words that flew from his mouth replayed over and over in your mind. The hurt you saw in his eyes and the rage that grabbed his tongue and made such vile lies dart out. He wanted to hurt you. That much was obvious.

How much of that was his pain, how much was his anger, how much was his weakness, how much was the alcohol?

You saw his face again and again. Every time you tried to close your eyes and give up on being awake; his face, ghostly, grief stricken and pained, would pull through your mind like a dog being dragged on a leash against its will.

By the time the sun rose you had given up on rest. You found your mind dwelling on the feeling of his skin below your fingertips. Of the smell of his hair. Of the softness of his lips and the taste of his breath on your tongue. You tried to commit every single bit of him to memory before it faded and was lost forever. You wept when you knew deep down inside that the memory of his smell wouldn’t last. The smell of something was always hard to hold onto in your mind. Soon it would be gone. The bow of a ship barely peeking up over the surface of the ocean seconds before it was pulled into its depths, never to be appreciated again.

Would the image of him staggering away from you in that dark alley really be your last memory of him?

_Baekhyun. Your Baekhyun. He was yours...he’d told you that himself._

Would you never get to touch him again? Never get to wrap your arms around him and squeeze down hard as you whispered silly or sweet things into his ear and hear the rhythmic rumble of his laugher inside his chest.

Would you find yourself, an old grandmother with a smiling laughing grandbaby in her arms and see a bottle of chocolate sauce and suddenly be thrust back into this pain? This longing that would surely follow you for the rest of your life. This regret at losing the most beautiful person you'd ever known. The most genuine and caring and sensitive lover you'd ever known. The most misguided and egotistical and overly dramatic man who made you so happy one minute and so frustrated the next.

The longer you laid in your bed, watching the steady spin of your ceiling fan, the less sense this made.

This didn't make any sense.

Baekhyun couldn't be done. He couldn't be giving up on you. He loved you. You loved him. Didn't he know that? Didn't you tell him you loved him all the time?

You weren't done.

You weren't done with him, why was he done with you?

The disgusting drunken remarks, the forced kiss, the goddamn shouting and threatening way he loomed over you.

The claims that you were somehow less important to him than the last months had led you to believe. The claims that he could replace you in an instant with any of the thousands of fans that threw themselves at him. He was full of shit. What a liar. He would never do that. You knew he wouldn't.

All of it. All of the transgressions that had taken place last night --- all of it had to have a reason.

The look you saw in his eyes over and over again.

It was hurt.

Behind the anger, behind the rage, behind the alcohol.

He was hurt.

He was a wounded animal lashing out violently and he was taking it out on you.

No...he was hurting you back.

Because you had hurt him first.

You hurt him -- long before you punched him in the face in the heat of your anger, you had hurt him.

You had been closed. Your own tendencies to hide and keep things to yourself had made you closed off to him, the one person you should have trusted enough to open up to. And you hadn't done that. You had been sparing with your affections, despite the desire to shout to the heavens of your all consuming love for this man, you held back again and again. But why?

Using any excuse you could find -- he was a celebrity, he would leave you soon and you had to protect your heart now or face the consequences later. The fear of that impending doom kept you from ever truly giving yourself to him the way he wanted. The way he begged the way he had given himself to you.

He was too famous and any little scandal would blow up and destroy the lives of hundreds of people who relied on EXO and its business to make a living. You couldn't show affection. You couldn't give yourself freely because he wasn't free to have. He wasn't really yours.

But he had tried so hard to be yours. And he begged for you to take him as such.  
  
Little snippets of memories came to you as you rolled over your sins against him in your mind, tasting their bitter flavor on your tongue. A memory of him telling you about another member and his girlfriend. Who was it? Jongdae? He’d said it so casually that you dismissed it at the time, but clearly Baekhyun wasn't the only member who dated. Clearly someone else was able to handle it so why were you such a fucking chicken?

What were you really so scared of?

That if he knew too much about you, if he really got to know the real you he would inevitably find something he didn't like? Something that would be a deal breaker and he would leave you broken and alone?

Did you really trust him so little?

Had you really not given him any credit at all?

He’d told you so much about himself. He’d given you pages and pages and you'd given him a single paragraph. It was no wonder he’d read your blog. The man was starved. He'd been starving for months. It was a miracle he put up with it as long as he did. How was someone supposed to have a relationship with someone without sharing things together?

You reached for your cell phone.

The small device sat eerily silent all night and you slowly unlocked to open a new text message.

_I’m sorry I hurt you._

You didn’t give yourself a moment to think before you hit send.

Your phone was still.

You stared at the lit screen for so long it faded and timed out, locking with a click before you unlocked it and looked back at the message.

 _Delivered_ \-- The message status said. What time was it?

Could he be sleeping? Would he be waking up with a brutal hangover? Was he too sad to go to work? Was he glued to his mattress, overcome with grief like you were?

Byun Baekhyun didn't get to be sad. His obligations to his career outweighed his sadness.

 _Delivered_ \-- Two hours later. Nothing had changed.

He hadn't read it. He hadn't even opened it. Time ticked by. Hours passed by. Time was moving against your will as your love faded and the memory of the smell of him sunk lower into the dark ocean.

Had he eaten? Had he taken anything for the headache you knew he would have?

You opened the fansite bookmarked in your browser. The ones who stalked him best and you saw.

It was him. He wore makeup and his hair was bright red and he was doing a press conference for something you didn't care about and you saw the white square eye patch that covered his eye.

The injury you'd given him last night.

You heard it. The tremble in his voice as he addressed the crowd, apologizing for the eye patch, calling it an inflammation and you felt your empty stomach churn.

You heard the bitter humorless laugh and flew out of your mouth as you closed your eyes.

_An inflammation._

A fucking inflammation. The body’s own attempt at self defense. A mechanism designed to rid the body of harmful and painful outside irritants so it could begin the process of self healing.

An inflammation. Baekhyun had gotten rid of you, and was trying to heal on his own. Trying to recover from the damage you had caused.

How bad was his pain now?

Would he be sober today? Would he be able to function and perform his duties?

Did he feel bad about the things he had said to you?

Did he feel as bad as you felt?

He had given up on you.

He said he had given up on you.

You closed your laptop loudly and you reached for your phone. You felt a new feeling course through your veins. Nearly too foreign to embrace, yet stronger than anything you had felt all night.

Stronger than the sadness, stronger than the fear of never seeing him again. Stronger than the ocean that threatened to swallow you both down into its harrowing depths.

You felt determination. It’s steely arms wrapping themselves around you tightly and squeezing you until you couldn't hold it any longer.

He couldnt.

You wouldn't. You wouldn't give up. Not on him. You loved him too much to give up on him.

And you wouldn't let him give up on you either.

If the tables had been turned you knew he wouldn't go easily. He wouldn’t just accept this.

You reached for your cell phone again. You clicked out of the conversation with Baekhyun that still remained unchanged and you opened a new message to someone you had down your list of contacts. You had never actually be the first to initiate any conversations with him. Not since you had exchanged numbers with him, not since you had grown comfortable with the man who Baekhyun called his best friend. Sure you had received a few messages from him. Mostly funny things about Baekhyun and small snippets of polite friendly banter.

You weren't sure if he would be busy so you opted for a text message instead of a phone call.

_“Hi Chanyeol, I needed to ask a favor of you. Can we talk?”_

Park Chanyeol was quick to respond to your text and you stared down at your now ringing cell phone with his name flashed across the screen.

You felt a rush of nerves. How much did Chanyeol know about the things that happened between you and Baekhyun last night. Were you crossing the line? Was this not allowed?

You answered the call before you lost the nerve. It was that cautious thinking and holding back that got you into this mess with Baekhyun in the first place.

You couldn't hold back anymore. You wouldn't. You would show him how much he meant to you and you would not give up on him.

“Hello,” your voice sounded tired even to yourself and you heard a pause on the line before he spoke.

“Something happened last night, didn't it?” His low voice sounded into your ear and you felt a fresh wave of emotions rise up inside your chest and threaten to burst through the phone line. You quickly covered a hand over your mouth to try and keep it in, to keep from unleashing this burden onto him.

“Mm-hmm” you heard the tremble in your voice. Your response was the most you could manage without outright sobbing into your phone.

You heard a groan on the line and a soft curse muttered under his breath.

“I knew it. He was a mess this morning.” You heard a deep sigh from him before he seemed to pause and gasp quietly in surprise.

“Did you do that? To his eye?” You closed your own eyes and covered your face with your free hand as you groaned into the line.

“Did he deserve it...I mean, he probably deserved the eye, but … the reason you broke up with him-- Did he deserve it?” you could hear the caution in his voice. He was trying to be delicate while still trying to gather information about his friend.

“He ended it. It wasn't me, he did it.”

“What? Wh-- but that doesn't make any sense, he was, I mean he is in love with you--” Chanyeol struggled to understand the words you were telling him. You weren't the only person struggling to understand how this could really be happening. How Baekhyun could possibly end things with you when it felt so completely and obviously wrong to do so.

Sure, your relationship was very flawed, but there was love. There was so much love there. Was he really prepared to just throw that away without even trying to work on it?

“That's actually why I wanted to talk to you. I need to see him, I was wondering if you knew maybe, his schedule or a way that I could meet with him? I texted him earlier but he hasn't even read it yet...I … I don't know what to do, I can’t just --” you were rambling as you tried to think of some way that you could possibly find him. Some way to get to him so you could meet him.

You felt desperate. You'd never even realized how skewed the playing field had been between he and you. He’d always been the one to come to you. Always. You had never once, in your entirety of dating Baekhyun, pursued him. You'd never tried to get to him, or gone to where he was, to surprise him or meet up with him. How in the world had you spent your relationship like this? You didn't even know where he lived. You didn't know where he worked. Sure you knew where the SM building was, but you hadn't even shown enough initiative to look beyond the intimidating exterior of the building. You felt more and more un-deserving the more you thought about it.

“Why don't you just come over?” Chanyeol interrupted your desperate attempts at formulating a plan. He sounded so rational and so positive in his suggestion that you stopped talking as your mind spun and churned with the very idea.

Just come over? To Baekhyun’s home? To the place where he lived and slept after his schedules? To the place where they lived? Was that even allowed?

“C-Can I do that?”

“Of course. We have friends over all the time, it's no big deal. I’ll text you the address. Come over we can talk and if you really want to see him he will be home later.”

Could you really do that? Could you?

By the time you knocked on the door that you had found from Chanyeol’s directions, you were a nervous wreck.

You stood with your hands inside your pockets and you angled your face down as you waited. Would chanyeol be the only one home? Would there be others? Would they demand to know who you were or demand an explanation at your sudden appearance at their home?

After a tense moment you heard movement behind the door and what sounded like a voice discussing something. You couldn't quite make out what was being said until there was a voice that shouted something that you caught the tail end of.

“.....yeol are you expecting someone? Did you order chicken?” It wasn't a voice you recognized and you heard locks clicking before the door was pulled open.

You half recognized the face as a member of the group but he was so dressed down you were having trouble placing his face. The shadow of stubble above his lip threw you off also. You'd never seen any of them with stubble before. He must not have been busy today. He peeked his head around the door that was parted just a bit to see why you were here.

“Yes?” He finally said quietly and you tried to control your trembling hands. You hoped the nerves did not reach your voice. You didn't need this guy thinking you were some nervous crazed fan who scored information about how to get into their building.

“Hi, I’m Chanyeol’s friend, he told me to come..” you trailed off but held up your phone with the string of text messages from Chanyeol visible. You saw the man's eyes glance down at your phone and his eyes widened as he pulled the door open further.

“Come in. Sorry we have to check guests.” He looked at you with a smile of apology and you nodded your head with a small smile indicating that you completely understood.

“I’m Jongin.” He said as he held out a hand for you to shake. You introduced yourself and noticed he walked slowly and he seemed to be stepping lightly on one foot. you saw that he wore a brace on his ankle although he didn't limp when he walked you definitely noticed the careful way he moved. This must be Kai, the one Baekhyun had mentioned had been injured recently and was nearly recovered.

“Oh! You’re here.” You recognized Chanyeol’s voice and you turned to see him walking out of a hallway off to the right of where you'd entered. Jongin turned to look at Chanyeol with a bit of question in his eyes and you watched the silent exchange between the two men.

Jongin seemed to want to know who you were. Chanyeol moved his head in such a way as to say he would fill the other guy in later and you watched the exchange as you pretended not to watch the exchange.

Finally Chanyeol leaned into to whisper something to Jongin who's eyes widened as he instantly looked back at you.

“She is?” He said quietly and Chanyeol nodded as he grabbed you by the hand and pulled you back down the hallway that he had come out of.

You found yourself inside a room with him. He sat you down in a soft chair, put a pillow in your lap and handed you a bottle of water.

“Are you okay?” His voice was soft and comforting. You looked down at the bottle of water in your hands and began picking at the label with your thumb nail as you avoided his knowing eyes.

“Kinda...not really.” You finally admitted after a long moment of silence and you saw him pulling a chair next to you to sit down.

“Do you want to talk to me about it? Maybe I can...talk to him--”

“No.” you said quickly and you saw his jaw snap shut. You could feel the exhaustion pulling at you now. Your lack of sleep, the stress of the break up, all of it was catching up to you as you sat in that comfortable chair. You felt nearly dizzy the longer you stared at the plastic water bottle in your hands.

“I need to talk to him. I need to see him--” that same desperation you felt earlier was back and you didn't even care. You knew Chanyeol wouldn't judge you for your obvious weakness and you didn't fight the tears that collected in your eyes and slipped down your cheeks.

“How was he-- this morning, did you see him? Was he okay? W-Was he crying or was he hurt? Did he make it to his schedule on time? Did he eat anything?” You heard him sigh deeply and he shook his head, biting down on his lip without speaking.

His eyes reflected what you knew. He wasn't okay. Baekhyun was far from okay. Even Chanyeol knew instantly that something was wrong, long before you had worked up the nerve to send that text message to him and you squeezed the pillow tighter as you willed your cries to settle down.

You'd cried too much already. You were tired of crying. If only your tears would listen to reason.

“When's the last time you slept?” His voice tried to break through your quiet sobs but you shook your head as you buried your face deeper into the pillow.

“I thought so, listen he won't be home for hours. Why don't you lie down and sleep here for a while and you can just see him when he gets back. Huh?” his voice was so soft it was as if he was speaking to a child now.

“I don't want to sleep here.” You complained through your tears and you hard a small chuckle from him.

“Because it's my bed?” He asked and you heard the smile in his voice.

You nodded once and he laughed again.

“Well come on then.” He said and you felt him pulling you by the arm urging you to stand.

“What? Where are we going?” You asked as a sudden alarm filled your mind. Was he throwing you out? You didn't want to do as he told you and he was going to make you leave now? You frowned at the confusion as he pulled you out of his room down a long hallway and stopped in front of a closed door.

The room behind the door was empty.

And it had a feeling to it.

A feeling you knew and loved with every fiber of your being.

This was Baekhyun’s room. You knew it the moment you stepped through the doorway. You saw his black facemask tossed onto a dresser. His black jacket draped over a chair. His assortment of caps and sunglasses he used regularly.

You recognized his clothes. Ones you'd seen him in many times before. Airport pictures, sitting in his car, pulled off his torso in your room--this … this was Baekhyun’s room.

“There. Is that better? Why don't you just rest for now and when he comes home you can talk to him.”

Chanyeol spoke quietly against your ear before he patted you sweetly on your back and turned to leave. You heard him pulling the door closed behind you and you turned to watch it click shut.

The smell. His smell. It was Baekhyun’s smell and you breathed in deeply as you closed your eyes, feeling the pull toward his bed.

You took a step, then another and when you reached a hand out to touch the bedding something familiar caught your eye. The light was shining through the window onto something and your attention was pulled to the night stand.

Sitting on the top of the dresser, next to a small notebook was a small box. One so familiar and significant you instantly reached for it and opened the lid.

Your ring. And his ring. A pair of lovers reunited by the pain you both had inflicted on each other.

You pulled out the smaller ring and slipped it back onto your finger, where it belonged always and you closed the box.

He would put his back on when he was ready.

When you had finally proven to him how much you loved and needed him and when he finally gave in to reason. Gave in to what his heart was telling him.

You would show Baekhyun that you weren't giving up on him.

Your fingers were trembling as you looked at the notebook that sat under the box and you had a moment of self-restraint. A moment of self doubt.

This was his property. This was his bedroom and his secrets. This was his life. Was it really your place to look around so freely? Sure, hed done the same to you, but this was--

You shook your head and turned back toward his bed, leaving the notebook untouched. He could share it with you when he wanted to.

When you turned toward his bed you caught something in the mirror against the wall.  
  
It was a piece of paper taped in place and you could see by the remnants of several other pieces of tape over and over in the same spot that this paper was changed out frequently.

You made your way over to the mirror and saw lists of dates and times and events.

It was his schedule for the month, spelled out in detail with the time he had to get up, time for makeup, breaks, interviews, shows, everything with helpful hand written bullets and highlighted spots for easy viewing.

This...this you would need.

You pulled out your phone and snapped a picture, feeling like a complete stalker and a weirdo as you did it and you quickly turned around, away from the guilt you felt at what you had just done.

His bed was calling to you and your exhaustion was quickly getting the better of you as you felt your limbs growing heavy and your eyelids drooping.

Chanyeol said you had hours. You could sleep now and then when he got home you would be able to talk to him in person. You hadn't quite decided what you would say and part of you was terrified that he would refuse to even speak with you. You wondered if he was still as angry as he had been last night. As unsure as you felt, you tired mind was having trouble coming up with a concrete plan. Perhaps after you woke up.

You wondered how guilty he felt for the lies he told you. The vicious words he spat out in his rage.

You wondered how badly he was hurting now that he was sober and had been living with his actions for hours since he woke up. You half hoped he was too busy with work to dwell too much on it. You knew baekhyun tended to dwell on things. He was always too affected by his own mistakes and you recalled many late night conversations with him after he’d made some small mistake, or blunder that made someone else feel bad, or caused some any bit of negative attention for the group.  
You'd talked him out of feeling bad enough times to know that his actions last night would put his mood at an all time low.

That didn't matter. He would see. You would talk to him and he would see that you didn't hate him. You didn't accept that he hated you either. You knew he loved you. Love didn't change so easily. Your own definitely did not change.

When you laid down on hs bed and pulled his covers over your head you were overcome with the smell of him. He was everywhere and you closed your eyes as you turned, pulled down quickly by the comfort and security you felt. Your mind didn't fight the sleep.

Your eyes flew open after what felt like only minutes asleep and you looked at the clock on the wall. Three hours. You had slept so soundly you hadn't even realized how long until the sound of something pulled you out of it.

It was a voice.

No, it was his voice. It was Baekhyun and he was speaking to someone.

“I don't care,” you heard the flatness in his tone. So different from the usual way he sounded, he sounded deflated and lifeless. He was probably exhausted.

You quickly sat up in the bed and watched the door, smoothing out your hair some before he came inside.

“Will you just listen to me, I need to talk to before you go in there!” It was Chanyeol.

The sounds of their voices grew closer.

There was no response from Baekhyun, no words or voice that gave you any warning before the door to the left of the bed flew open quickly and you heard a startled gasp from the man who stood at the door.

Your wide eyes at the surprise of his sudden entrance were no match for the surprise that you saw on his face.

His eyes were wide. His jaw slack and the bruise obvious and definite over his right eye. He stood frozen in his doorway and you heard Chanyeol’s voice behind him speaking quickly.

”Wait, there's someone--” Chanyeol’s words were cut off as soon as he reached the door and you heard him mumble as he finished his sentence, “waiting for you in there.”

You saw Baekhyun's eyes narrow and he clenched down hard on his jaw before he slowly turned to glare at his friend behind him.

The glare was harsh enough to make Chanyeol take a step back, away from the door and Baekhyun took a step inside and closed the door quickly.

“What are you doing here?” His voice was hoarse. Worse than you'd ever heard and you wondered if he had to sing today. His face was solemn and eyes sullen and the bruise on his eye was purple and angry looking.

Aside from his face his entire body looked exhausted. He definitely hadn’t slept at all either.

“I wanted to see you. So I came.” You tried to keep the sadness out of your voice.

You heard the sound of a small puff of air. Too dry and humorless to be a laugh and more sarcastic than a scoff.

He didn't respond outside of that and you saw him drop the duffle bag he had been carrying to the floor. He moved to a chair that sat in the corner of a room and his legs gave as he slumped down into it. You saw him lean his head back against the wall behind him and he lifted an arm to drape across his eyes.

He was so quiet for such a long time that you wondered if he had fallen asleep until you caught the sight of slight movement on his face. Under his arm trailing down his cheek was a tear. You watched it slip down his face and disappear into the collar of his sweatshirt.

“Why are you here? Why--” you heard the first quiet words leave his lips and you saw the distressed rise and fall of his breath.

“Haven't I done enough to you?” The last question was so quiet you almost missed it but you could make out the words enough to know that it was exactly as you thought. He was feeling the guilt of his actions and would wallow in the self pity that came along with that guilt.

“I'm here because I have some things to say.” You found that your voice was surprisingly strong now that you'd actually worked up the nerve to begin speaking.

He wasn't moving but you noticed that his breathing seemed to even back out and you didn't see any more tears falling below his arm.

You took his silence as permission to speak.

“I wanted to tell you that I don't accept it. I don't accept that you have given up on me. I'm not giving up on you and I won't accept this. And I--”

You noticed his arm dropped from his face and he lifted his head to look at you, eyes moist and eyes red rimmed. Clearly your words surprised him enough to come out from under his little shelter.

“And I know your schedule now. I've been in here for three hours, looking at your things and I touched a lot of stuff, and I even got my ring back see.” You lifted your hand to wave it in his direction. He sat up marginally straighter and his eyes looked over at the little ring box on his night stand before he looked back at you.

“Anyway since I know your schedule I'm going to be here a lot. I'm going to bug you and play with you and laugh with you and we're going to get along even if I have to play video games with you I don't care I'll do it. I'll even beat you at Super Smash Brothers, I'm so good at that game and I saw it over there in the corner.” You saw his eyes follow where your chin pointed as you spoke and he turned back to face you again.

“I'm not going to leave you alone. You're going to get so sick of me you won't even know what to do about it. And I'm…” you turned quickly and grabbed the small notebook you had resisted earlier off his nightstand and lifted it up.

“I'm even going to read this. I don't know what's in it, but it looks super secret.” Your fingers moved over the cover and you saw movement out of the corner of your eye that made you look up. He was standing and you felt a tugging at the notebook and he suddenly pulled it out of your hands.

He was turning quickly as he returned to the duffle bag on the floor and stuffed the notebook deep inside the bag before zipping it closed.

“I'll read it some other time. I don't feel like reading right now.” You said quietly and his face was still serious as he stood in the center of the room with his arms over his chest.

“What are you doing?” His eyes were hard and you saw the fatigue on his shoulders that pulled them down. You felt guilty for taking up his bed now.

“I'm not giving up on you, Oppa.” With a shrug of your shoulders you lifted yourself off of his bed and stood onto your two feet. The nap had done a little bit of help for your mood and you felt like you might just live another day.


	20. Chapter 20

Baekhyun was frozen. His serious expression was still on his face and his jaw clenched down hard as he watched you get up and out of his bed and walk toward the door to his room. He was in the way of the doorway and you recognized the tension he held in his body.  
  
You'd just rejected his decision to break up with you. To end this relationship. And in an unexpected and new wave of courage you let him know that not only did you not want to break up, but you were committed to proving to him just how much he mattered. Just how much you loved and appreciated him.

  
From his dark eyes and the silence that filled the room you could tell that he was definitely not on board with whatever plan you were in here hatching while he was away.

  
Above everything else you knew he was tired. Beyond tired, he was exhausted and you moved behind him to push on his back and steer him toward his bed.

  
Your hands on him made him flinch and he quickly moved and turned away from your touch.

  
Were you not allowed to touch him?

  
“Y-You’re tired. You should sleep Oppa.” You said quietly and you saw him blinking at you. Eventually he closed his eyes and he ran a hand through his bright red hair.

  
Why wasn't he speaking? Why wasn't he telling you what he thought about this? Was he going to be this stubborn?

  
Whatever words were sitting on the tip of his tongue, he must have swallowed them away with the lump in his throat because he simply turned around and moved toward his bed.

  
Without looking back at you he climbed inside the bed, under the covers and you saw him snuggle his face down into his pillow.

  
There was a second of stillness as he inhaled and he quickly sat up and threw the pillow across the room.

  
You saw it bounce off the closet door and he grabbed the pillow next to his head on the big bed and layed down on that one.

  
“What's wrong with that one?” You pointed to the pillow on the floor with your confusion obvious in your voice.

  
“Smells like you.” He said in a flat cold voice that pulled the heat from your body up to your face. You were glad he couldn't see you blushing from his harsh words.

  
His eyes were closed and he was doing a good job of pretending to be asleep.

  
“I’m going to go now, but I’ll be back tomorrow okay oppa? I'll come by when you're back from your schedule.” You forced the lightness in your voice and you saw the deep rise and fall in his chest as he took a deep breath.

  
“I won’t be here.” He said into the pillow. You felt the sting again as he struck out.

  
_Angry. Stubborn. Hurt._

  
“Then I will wait for you.” You responded after a long moment of silence and you slowly turned to the door. You reached for the doorknob and turned it.

  
“I thought you had more self respect than this.” Your hand froze on the knob and you winced at the pain. You tried to swallow it down. Tried to control the heavy breaths that ached as they exited your lungs.

  
You couldn't help but turn to look back at him, his cheeks pink, no, red. You heard a sniffle and you saw him shiver and pull his blanket around him tighter. The sting of his words faded the longer you looked at him. The more you saw.

  
Why was he shivering so much?

  
Something felt wrong.

  
You dropped your hand from the knob and moved quickly back toward the bed. His eyes were closed and they stayed closed when you reached him.

  
You laid your hand over his forehead and you felt the heat. Much too hot. He squirmed below your touch.

  
“Hurts,” he said softly with a frown on his face.

  
“What hurts?” You said softly as you kneeled down onto the bed next to him to get a better look.

  
You knew enough about medicine by now to recognize this.

  
“Everything hurts.” He said and you saw him shiver and pull the blanket tighter.

  
“You have a fever.” You remarked as you slinked your fingers down on either side of his throat to feel is lymph nodes. The small balls under his jaw were swollen. He moaned under your prodding fingers.

  
“You're too hot, is there any medicine in this house?” You heard a small cough from him and he buried his head deeper under the blanket. Shutting out the light and your questions as he sought warmth to ease the chills of the fever.

  
He wasn't talking and you were out of options. You couldn't just leave him like this. Sick with a fever and alone.

  
So you left his room and tiptoed down the hallway toward the entrance, where you’d come in through. You knew if you could find Chanyeol he would be able to help you get some medicine and maybe something to eat for Baekhyun.

  
The hallway opened up into a living space and you saw a kitchen to the left, near the front doorway. Chanyeol was nowhere to be seen and you didn’t see Jongin either. You were out of ideas and you weren't about to start snooping around their home so you did the only thing you could think to do when you needed help.

  
You called your mom.

  
It turns out, calling you mom to ask for advice about your sick boyfriend was the most ridiculous move you could have made because the second she heard the word _Baekhyun_ and _sick_ uttered in the same sentence she was speaking in a rushed panicky voice that only reserved for those people who were extra special in her life.

  
“Where is he? I'm coming over there.” She was already out the door. You could tell by the sound of the car starting and you rolled your eyes at the woman. Why couldn't she just tell you what to do, you'd handle it just fine yourself if she would just talk. Instead she was on her way to Baekhyun's place and to your utter horror and surprise, she didn't even need directions.

  
You stared down at your blacked out cell phone in your hand after she hung up on you to drive and scoffed at the unbelievable situation you were about to find yourself in. You had to warn someone that she was coming.

  
You didn't even feel comfortable being here, let alone inviting your whole damn family to join you for a fun experiment in boundaries with your boyfriend and his friends.

  
“Is something wrong?” A person spoke up from behind you and you quickly turned at the sound. Jongin stood with his hands behind his back and his eyebrows raised as you paced back and forth in the kitchen holding your cell phone like it contained all the answers in the universe.

  
“Umm--” you searched your brain for some sort of explanation.

  
“Baekhyun isn't feeling well and my mom is actually coming over to make sure he’s okay.”

  
To his benefit, Jongin only looked mildly surprised at your announcement and he nodded with his eyebrows lifted as he turned to make his way into the kitchen.

  
“I better turn on the water for tea if she's coming. She likes tea,” He said and you watched him move around the kitchen in shock.

  
_She likes tea._

  
Jongin knew your mother.

  
Your shock had to be obvious on your face.

  
They all probably knew your mother. She had been here before and she takes care of your boyfriend like his her own son. She knows he's sensitive and she knows the way to his place and is willing to rush over in an instant at the first sign of trouble.

  
“Honestly I was confused at first. When she showed up, he called her his mother-in-law and introduced us, but we never met you. Or at least I didn’t, I guess you know Chanyeol pretty well.” You nodded your head at his words, feeling the blush rush to your face as you realized again and again how completely closed off you had been from his life. From his friends and from his family.

  
He was filling the kettle with water from the bottle that sat on the counter and you heard him laughing to himself.

  
“Actually our joke was that he wasn't actually dating anyone and was just making you up to explain his weird friendship with this older woman. The kimbap and side dishes she brings are really good...I bet he’s in it for the food. That sorta thing. Although Sehun swore he saw you once and that you were real. Junmyeon wouldn't talk about it though.” He giggled to himself and you smiled with a small chuckle, feeling the shame course through you.

  
Your smile fell quickly and you chewed on the inside of your lip as you considered the struggle he must have gone through with their teasing.

  
After a moment he looked up into your eyes and his own smile was gone as he watched your face.

  
“It's hard right?” You looked up into his warm brown eyes. Eyes that matched the warmth in his words.

  
“And scary?” Something in those eyes told you he got it. He’d probably lived it. Jongin understood as much as anyone would the difficulties of the life he lived when love was concerned.

  
You nodded in agreement.

  
“Well-- that doesn't matter anymore. You’re here now right?” You felt him brush past you leaving you behind to wait for your mom in the kitchen and his hand patted against your shoulder as he left the room.

  
You rushed to the front door when you heard the knock. Sure enough, your mom stood with her hair a mess and her hands full of bags from the pharmacy and from home. She came through the home like a forcefield with a motherly aura.

  
“Where is he-- Oh hi Jongin!” She moved quickly toward his room while pausing to wave at a smiling and bowing Jongin who came out from his room to say his greetings.

  
You followed her into his bedroom where he still laid very still on his bed under heavy covers. His face looked too pink for comfort and when she rested her hand over his forehead you heard her exaggerated gasp.

  
This gasp was trouble. She was about to scold you about something.

  
“He’s this sick and you only called me now!? His fever is much too high--” you were standing too close to her and you winced when she smacked your arm hard for your negligence.

  
“Mom-- I didn't know his fever was so high, I hadn't touched him at all until I noticed his face was too pink and he was shivering.”

  
She looked at you now, right at you with the flat eyes and flat lips with a look that only a mother could pull off. A look that told you she didn't buy what you were selling for a second.

  
“Please, a boyfriend and girlfriend alone in a room together and you expect me to believe that you didn't touch each other? Do you think I'm stupid?”

  
“Hey, Mom it's not like that, we were just talking.” You whined noisily. She was digging through the bag she brought as she looked for something.

  
“Yeah and you were just conceived by magic. Kids think they invented sex. Don't lie to me, I saw the pills in your purse.”

  
Mortified didn't cut it.

  
Horrified was insufficient.

  
If there was a hole the deeper than the grand canyon in front of you, you would have willingly thrown yourself down it.

  
You had to leave. Your mom knew you about your birth control pills, she wasn't an idiot, she knew you were sexually active with Baekhyun and now she stood holding a thermometer up to his ear to take his temperature as if she hadn't just tossed a bucket of ice water over your head.

  
“At least you have enough sense to use something. As much as I love both of you idiots, neither of you are ready for children and I’m too young to be a grandma.”

  
You couldn't stay for this. This was too real and you felt like your face was on fire.

  
You quickly spun on your heels and rushed to the bedroom door, both hands over your face to try and calm the storm of embarrassment that was brewing all over your body.

  
“Bring me a glass of water while you're out there.” She called toward you as you made your way out of the bedroom door.

  
By the time you had calmed down enough to bring her a glass of water you walked in to find Baekhyun awake and sitting up in the bed.

  
His eyes were only half opened and she was pulling his sweater off over his head. He’d fallen asleep in too many clothes and it wasn't helping the fever any.

  
“Help me with the pants will you? He needs to cool off.” You did as you were told and pulled at the legs of his pants until they slid down. He moaned and complained sleepily as he shivered.

  
“Here honey, swallow these pills and you can go back to sleep, I promise.”

  
He nodded and did everything she asked of him before she tucked him back into the bed and turned to face you.

  
“You need to give him this medicine every 4 hours and take his temperature to make sure it doesn't go too high. If it goes too high he’ll have to go to the hospital.” She was handing you a bottle of pills and a thermometer along with a bag from the pharmacy with other supplies.

  
“M-Me?” You said suddenly surprised that she would trust you with such a task.

  
“The poor baby, I told him to take care of his body, I wonder what has him so stressed for him to get so sick so fast. You better take good care of him. If he's up for it, you can try a lukewarm bath to bring the temperature down some.” She was packing up her things and leaving another bag with you which you glanced down to see some clothes and toiletries from your room.

  
“Y-You’re just leaving?” You said as she made her way toward the exit.

  
“Of course. He's your boyfriend. You take care of him. I have to go make dinner for your father.” You felt a sudden wave of panic. What if he got too sick what if you fell asleep? What if you forgot to give him his medicine again in four hours?

  
“M-Mom?” You asked suddenly as she reached the door.

  
“For the last time, you will be fine.” She said as she turned back around to face you, fed up now with your worrying.

  
“No, I wanted to ask you something--”

  
“H-How do you let Dad know that you love him? Was it always something that was easy to you or did you have to work on it?”

  
“You take care of him--” She pointed down to Baekhyun’s sleeping form on the bed.

  
“He will know if you take care of him.” She turned and left and you looked down at him for a while before you began setting timers on your cell phone for his medicine.

  
The night was a blur. You opted to sleep on the floor with the discarded pillow from Baekhyun’s bed and a swiped blanket from the living room. You sent a quick text to Chanyeol to let him know you'd be watching Baekhyun's fever in the night and giving him regular medicine, to which he was thankful to you and your mom for taking care of him. You didn't give Chanyeol any further details about the status of your relationship with Baekhyun because honestly you were too unsure yourself.

  
The night went as best as you would hope. His fever stayed relatively stable and responded well to the medication, only heating back up when it was time for a new dose and by the morning he seemed to benefit more from the rest than anything you had done for him.

  
In his feverish, exhausted state he seemed to be too angry and stubborn to see any of your actions as redeeming in any way and when he woke in the morning and found you sleeping on his floor he merely stepped around you to get into the bathroom.

  
You sat up when you heard the sounds of the toilet flushing and the sink running, expecting him to come out and at least acknowledge you.

  
When the door opened you heard his voice. Some of the hoarseness from last night was gone and replaced with a chill you had, by now expected. He sounded flat. Disinterested and unaffected.

  
“I’m going to shower. If you need a bathroom there is one down the hall.”

  
The door closed again and you couldn't stop the scoff that escaped your lungs.

  
The stubborn man. How far would he take this?

  
You shook your head at the sound of the shower running and you strained your ears for the sounds of anything that would signal distress. A cough, a cry, a sob. Anything that would let you know that he needed your help.

  
Nothing came. He exited the shower clean and as moody as he looked when he went in.

  
“What are your plans today?” You said as casually as you could muster as you looked down at your phone. You had one class in the afternoon that you needed to attend but would be able to return after his schedule. Perhaps you could convince him to watch something on tv with you or--

  
“I’m going to be busy. After I get back I’ll be busy. You shouldn't come.” His eyes danced around the room, avoiding yours now and you recognized something in him. Something shifty. Something familiar. He was bluffing.

  
“Okay, I’ll come hang out with Chanyeol. He said he wanted to watch _Stranger Things_ on Netflix and I haven't seen it either. You are more than welcome to join us if you would like. If you get done with your...thing.” You crossed your leg over your knee on the edge of his bed where you now sat as casually as you could muster and you watched his face as he considered your invitation.

  
He was biting down on his lip now.

  
“Have you seen it already? I heard its really good.” Casual, casual, casual. You were doing great, you could do this. You could get through this little conversation without falling to his knees and begging him to join you and come on, you know you wanna just do it you stubborn beautiful man!

  
“Not yet…” he said quietly as he worried his jaw back and forth. You saw his bottom lip pop out into his signature pout.

  
“Well whenever you are done with your thing you can join us.” You heard him clear his throat and he nodded the tiniest of nods.

  
It was tiny. Microscopic really.

  
But it was a start.

  
You said your goodbye and he gave you another nod, back into his stubborn mood but you didn't mind it one bit.

  
Your fingers flew to your cell phone as soon as the door of their home clicked closed behind you.

  
_”OMG Chanyeol HELP, I told Baekhyun that me and you were are watching Netflix tonight and he was welcome to join and I hope to GOD you aren't busy because I need you to pretend to watch Netflix with me until he comes around and he's so stubborn and he's still mad at me, please tell me you aren't busy?!!~~~~”_

  
His reply was quick and it was filled with too much laugher at your sticky situation. Luckily he readily agreed to fill in the spot on the couch with you until Baekhyun decided that he couldn't be left out for any longer.

  
Baekhyun was late back after his schedule by only 30 minutes and he walked through the door, glancing down at you sitting on the couch next to his best friend on one side and Jongdae, who had been chatting with Junmyeon on the other side of you. Word was out that it was a movie night and you grimaced as more and more members suddenly free of their late night practice and showers had showed up to meet the mysterious woman who suddenly felt the need to occupy their sofa.

  
You were nearly positive that all of them had heard of your very recent breakup with Baekhyun and were actually hanging out more for the juicy details than for the show.

  
“Oh Oppa!” You suddenly leapt up as soon as he entered, grabbing a small paper sack you had brought with you that evening and eyes around the room pointedly looked away as you made your way to where he was quickly walking toward the hallway that led to his room.

  
Admittedly your mood was better today. You had been feeling a bit of hope since he'd kinda sorta agreed to watch the show with you this morning before you left and your elation had transferred into your rapid chatting that you were now following him around with.

  
“We decided to wait for your to start, since you said you hadn't seen it yet and you wanted to watch it too. You're not even that late, I thought you would take much longer to get here, but you're here already.” He was opening his closet door as he dropped his bag and hung up some clothing he had brought with him and he closed the door rather loudly as he spun around to look at you.

  
His sudden movement caught you off guard and you stopped talking as he stared hard at you, his eyes not mirroring even one tenth of the hope and excitement you were feeling, the look he gave you deflated you and you found yourself drooping just a bit lower as you stood in front of him.

  
“Listen--” he finally said after a long tense moment and you saw him close his eyes and run his hand over his face. Your heart sank. That one word held so much power. You felt a sudden feeling of dread flood your body and you froze holding on to the small sack with both of your hands.

  
He inhaled a deep breath before he spoke further and you braced yourself for what he had to say.

  
“I don't mind you coming here. I really don't, but if you are coming then you need to be here as my friend. Okay? Nothing more than that. I'm not…” there was another deep inhale and you heard him steadying himself. Clearly these words had been practiced. You heard the rehearsal in them. You wondered if this was what he had been busy with after practice. Maybe he'd planned this talk with you all day.

  
“I’m not looking for anything more than that from you.” His final words left his mouth as a whisper and you couldn't help the small head shake of yours.

  
_Friends._

  
_Friends?_

  
Could you be friends with the man you were in love with?

  
Could Baekhyun be friends with you? Really?

  
“Friends?” Your voice was more stable than you thought it would be. And you saw him blink slowly as he clenched down hard on his jaw, hearing the word from your own lips now. He himself struggled. What a terrible word he had just brought into this mess.

  
“Friends.” He repeated after a while.

  
A tremble. The smallest one in his lip. You saw it. He couldn't hide it. How could he pretend that this would satisfy either of you? How could he just lie to himself like this?

  
“Okay. Friends then. But you're my best friend okay?” Your words lied too. You had to.

  
You had to give it to him. He didn't even flinch. You felt your resolve crumbling and you gripped your paper sack tightly as it crinkled in your hands below your waist.

  
He was biting down too hard on his lip. You could tell and you saw his eyes close briefly, blocking out the emotion you saw there.

  
You heard him clear his throat as he hid his eyes from you behind his closed lids and when he opened them back up he had recovered.

  
“Okay. Best friends then.” He relented with a small smile. A smile that would never reach his eyes. You wished you could touch him, just once.

  
“What's in the bag?” His eyebrow ticked up with the lighter question. One designed to erase the mood that had settled heavy in the room and you smiled in return.

  
“S-Sweet potatoes. It's getting colder now so they are starting to sell them.” You saw his smile widen and grow just a bit more genuine as the mood faded and he settled into a strange half comfortableness in your presence.

  
“Are they for me?” He said quietly as he turned back to the closet to hang up the coat he had been wearing.

  
“They were. But now I have to share them with everybody. You've been demoted to a regular old friend. The guys out there have already smelled them and I had to beat them away from this bag.” Your teasing was back and it felt forced but a bit more comfortable than any other response so you gave in to it in the hopes of saving the evening. If he wasn't going to give in to you, you were going to make the most of it.

  
“Regular old friend? I thought you said best friend.” You heard the teasing in his own voice, cautious yet following your lead and you shook your head.

  
“A friend is a friend when it comes to sweet potatoes. You should've waited until you had them in your hands before you said it. You brought this on yourself.” You took a quick step toward the door and you felt him move quickly, grabbing at the bag you held on to with a death grip and pulling it away before he could get ahold of it.

  
“Come on, at least let me pick the best one.” He whined as you quickly made your way back into the living room where the small group of men waited to start the show.

  
You caught Chanyeol's eye and quickly tossed the bag at him and he caught it instantly with a small grunt. It was petty. You knew it was. But that word still felt sour on your tongue.

  
“Surprise guys, I brought snacks!”

  
The bag was ripped open in record time and small hot foil balls were tossed around the room. You took your spot next to Chanyeol and noticed that Junmyeon had moved over one space, leaving the only free seat available on your other side.

  
There was a moment.

  
A notable pause in the room as everyone waited and watched that empty spot next to you on the sofa.

  
And then a collective exhale when you felt his warm body sink down into the cushions at your side.

  
You didn't have to look at him to know Baekhyun was sitting next to you. You could feel him there. Smell him there. Everything about him was undeniable and you scooted just a bit further from him to give him just a bit of space in case he was uncomfortable sitting so close to you.

  
When you finally looked over at him you noticed his hands were empty. He had no sweet potato, nor was he going for the remaining foil ball on the coffee table in front of him.

  
He merely sat with his arms folded over his chest staring at the screen in front of him with the most obviously concealed pout on his face. The pout of a man who didn't want to be pouting, yet was so deep into a fit that he had little hope of resurfacing from it any time soon.

  
So you left him to stew in it and the show started. You were above force feeding him something he was too big of a baby to admit he wanted.

  
The show was darker than you thought it would be. A terrifyingly suspenseful storyline with innocent kids going missing and genuine monsters popping out at every turn. You found yourself shivering under the blanket on the sofa and instinctively moving closer to where Baekhyun sat tense and motionless staring at the screen.

  
About halfway through the second episode you were having trouble with the suspense. It was too intense and you accidentally brushed against Baekhyun’s hand under the blanket. You felt him jump when you did it and you pulled away quickly, not wanting to make him uncomfortable, you balled your hand into a fist and vowed not to repeat the same mistake, no matter how frightened you became.

  
Your mind was dwelling on it though. Why was he sharing your blanket anyway? You weren't sharing a blanket with Chanyeol even though he was sitting just as close to you as Baekhyun was. Your eyes looked over at Chanyeol who was engrossed in what was happening on the screen and didn't seem to be cold at all.

  
When you braved a look over at Baekhyun you caught his eyes. There was a glance in your direction before he quickly looked at the tv and you did the same. Suddenly too aware of him.

  
But you saw it. He had looked at you. He had been watching you.

  
Another scare, another jump and you decided that perhaps this program was just too intense for you in the middle of the night next to someone who you maybe shouldn't be holding onto for comfort, but when you slowly opened your eyes to look back at the screen you felt Baekhyun’s hand inside yours. You felt his fingers flex slowly and you squeezed down tightly around his hand below the blanket.

  
You were too close. The confines of the blanket created an intimate space just for the two of you and you could feel the warmth of his skin. His arm rested below yours and you could heard his breathing steady next to you. So close, yet untouchable.

  
You didn't dare look.

  
You couldn't. You weren't prepared for anything you might find if you looked so you loosened the death grip you had on his hand and began to move away.

  
You felt his fingers tighten suddenly and he pulled your hand back into his own, holding tighter so you couldn't let go.

  
What was he doing?

  
“Just hold it if you're scared. It's fine.” You heard the low whisper into your ear and you heard the moment of weakness loud and clear in his voice.

  
Did he want you to?

  
You wanted to.

  
The desire was desperate at this point.

  
But you couldn't. This was against his rules. You'd already agreed to do things his way and you weren't about to mess that up in the first few hours of having won over his friendship at least.

  
With a small head shake you sat up straighter and you let go of his hand, pulling your own out until he let go himself.

  
“Sorry, I won't do it again.” You clapped both hands together firmly under the blanket and you promised yourself that you wouldn't torture him with any more physical contact tonight. The memory of his hand alone would be enough to get your through the rest of the show.

  
An eight hour marathon was a bit ambitious for your first movie night and most of the members had signed out in favor of their beds and a promise to continue next time by the time the third episode rolled around. You were feeling very drowsy yourself and you couldn't help when you felt your eyes closing and your head drooping under the security of the warm blanket and the smell of Baekhyun next to you. His steady breathing merely lulled you deeper and you decided that maybe if you just closed your eyes you would feel better.

  
So you gave in and in your dreams his arms were strong and he carried you into his room. You smelled him all around you and you smiled at the sound of his voice. You snuggled into the soft bed and you felt so much comfort and security as a genuine happiness filled your spirit. One you hadn't realized you had missed so much until you felt it again.

  
When you reached out for him you found him close to you and so warm, his hands gripping along your waist as he pulled you in closer to himself, his breath puffed out hot against your neck and his heavy sleep kept you hypnotized until you awoke refreshed and smiling at the sunshine in your window.

  
Wait. That wasn't your window.

  
When you turned your head you recognized the bright red hair on top of his head and you saw the strong muscles of his arms as he slept, wrapped tightly around you. His limbs were tangled and heavy over your own, holding you down completely. You tensed as you suddenly realized that he must have brought you into his room, into his bed for the night and then...simply climbed in with you? Perhaps he was so exhausted that he hadn't really thought this through.

  
What if---

  
A quick inventory of your clothing told you that nothing against his rules had happened in the middle of the night and you laid your head back down with a sigh of relief.

  
Your noisy sigh woke him enough for him to begin to stir.

  
You felt his arms leave you first, then his legs and you felt the freedom of no longer being weighed down by his heavy limbs. Why was he hugging you like that? Was it unintentional? A force of habit maybe?

  
You heard him groan as his sleep disappeared and he rubbed his hands over his face. You saw his eyes slowly open and he looked at you with a small frown on his face.

  
“Before you say anything...you were beating me up again. I had to do that to survive the night.” He whined cutely, sounding more like Baekhyun than he had in the last few days.

  
“W-Why didn't you just let me sleep on the couch?” You said quietly and you saw the shrug in his shoulders.

  
“It's an uncomfortable couch. What kind of best friend would I be if I did that? Right?”

  
It felt as flimsy as a house of cards. You watched him closely for signs of weakness.

  
You exhaled a breath through your nose, wishing you could just knock the whole thing down already.

  
“Yeah. Sure.” You answered. “Friends.” You said in the faintest whisper.

  
His eyes were on yours and he held the contact for too long. He was silent and too still before you heard his breath puff out quickly from his nose. His breathing puffed again, unstable and ragged the longer he looked at you and your heart raged inside your rib cage.

  
You didn't dare move.

  
He closed his eyes and lifted his hands up to cover his face --  
“Best.” He whispered below his hands.


	21. Chapter 21

The man that laid on the bed next to you was dealing with his own crisis that mirrored the storm brewing in your belly. He was silent for a long time and you watched and you waited as he worked through it.

  
The storm raged, and the storm passed and you watched feeling useless and unable to say a single word that might make any of this make sense.

  
Baekhyun laid with his hands over his face for a long time until he suddenly sat up and left the bed. His eyes never once found yours. His words were gone and his steps were slow and sluggish. The gravity of the earth was stronger here, where he had to fight against himself to stand and walk away from you.

  
You heard the shower running and you stared at the ceiling of his room as you listened to the sound of the water running through the pipes in the walls.

  
Somewhere else in the home you heard small noises as people got up and began their day.

  
You had a class. You had a life. You had to leave if you were going to make it home in time to shower and change.

  
You couldn't wait for him to be done with his shower and come out and continue not looking you in the eye as he made up some excuse as to why you woke up in his bed and in his arms, surrounded by the smell of him and the warmth of his body.

  
Did he even have an excuse? Something flimsier than the uncomfortable couch. Something that had nothing to do with love. Some other lie that you had to pretend to believe for his sake, or for your own sake.

  
How much more?  
How much more could you stand? You missed the honesty and the comfort in his arms and you longed to hear his voice again. Not the cold distant voice he gave you now, but the real one. The sweetness and the giggles and the affection that was so obviously genuine you felt it in your soul.

  
So you got up and you left. With the water still running and with your mind still whirling, you left. You grabbed your bag from the kitchen counter and you didn't see another soul.. and you left.

  
An hour later you felt a buzz.

  
_“So did it work?~~”_

  
Well meaning Chanyeol. Sweet, caring Chanyeol. The best friend you could never be to Baekhyun.

  
_“Nope. Not as mad, but still ...nope.”_

  
Your phone was quiet for a while and you walked into your first class, not at all prepared for the lecture and even less so for the pop quiz that was coming your way.

  
If you kept this up you'd fail your classes. Something had to change. Maybe you could bring your laptop with you to Baekhyun's when you went over tomorrow after his schedule. There had to be a balance of the two. With a bit more effort you could make this work.

  
Your class ended. More assignments were due next week and you grumbled as you pulled your phone out of your pocket, having felt the buzz during your class you knew something was waiting. You'd actually felt a few responding buzzes soon after the first and you wondered what was up to warrant so many messages.

  
_“Halloween party tomorrow night! Slightly early since everyone will be busy on Halloween. Must wear costumes to attend! -Chanyeol”_

  
_“I'm going to be a sexy pirate.”_

  
_“No stage outfits Jongdae! Real costumes only. -Chanyeol”_

  
_“Ok I’m going to be a dinosaur. It's not a real stage costume.”_

  
_“I'll just stay in my room”_

_”No Kyungsoo you're going and you're dressing up. -Chanyeol”_

_“Wait, there's a new number here. Chanyeol who did you invite?”_

  
_“A friend~~~ -Chanyeol”_

  
The group chat went quiet after that and you wondered if they were now texting individually. You wondered why Baekhyun had been so silent. You could see that he had read all of the messages as well.

  
Was he upset that you were invited? Was he happy that his _best friend_ would be there in his personal space reminding him over and over again of how far both of you had fallen off the tracks.

  
You couldn’t stand the silence anymore. The fact of the matter was, you missed him. You missed him terribly, despite waking up this morning in his fucking bed, he felt like he was a million miles away from you.

  
Your fingers were moving and your phone was out as you looked at the picture of his schedule.

  
He was in the middle of something, but maybe he would be able to talk.

  
You heard a ringing tone as you held your phone up to your ear and you chewed on your lip as you walked around campus looking at the big buildings and well manicured landscaping. The weather was crisp but not too cold and you pulled your coat around you tighter. The phone had been ringing for too long now and you knew one more ring would send the call to his voicemail. You cleared your throat, ready to leave a chipper voicemail about how excited you were about the halloween party and how much fun it would be to hang out with everybody.

  
“Hello” Baekhyun’s voice surprised you and cut off your plan.

  
He was breathing hard and his voice sounded low and throaty.

  
“Oh, I thought your voicemail was going to pick up.” Your rehearsed chipper voice vanished with your surprise and you heard him clear his throat.

  
“Are you busy? I can let you go if you're busy--”

  
“No no, we just finished. I ran for the phone when I heard your ringtone-- give me a second.”

  
The sound of the call was muffled and you heard distant sounds of coughing and deep steady breathing. Then some sort of a far away _ooh ooh ahh_ sound.

  
What was he doing? Calming himself for the talk? Composing for you? The obviousness of this man made you chuckle to yourself.

  
“Okay I’m back. What are you doing?” He sounded casual. Way too casual. The kind of casual that took a lot of mental preparation and conditioning to achieve. Much more casual than you felt as you paused in your steps in the middle of the sidewalk, suddenly feeling definite butterflies in your stomach. A strange sensation that you hadn't quite expected from a phone call with Baekhyun. But here they were, messing with your head and making you freeze up with nerves before you opened your mouth to answer his question. You started walking again.

  
“Umm..I’m just finishing up at school. I was going to go get lunch I guess.” You honestly didn't have any plans and with his voice on the line you were having trouble remembering why you even called.

  
“I like lunch,” Mr. ultra casual cool guy Baekhyun said and your mouth fell open as you stopped walking again. Suddenly unable to handle walking and talking at the same time.

  
“D-Do you want to join me for lunch?” You knew it was your line. You knew he expected you to ask and your mind whirled with lunch destinations that would be discrete enough for him to actually join you and not be seen by anyone. Places close to the university were out. There were too many students around.

  
“You paying?” How could he sound so different? The usual sweet flirty tones and inflections that usually danced around his words to you were all gone. Suspiciously so. This was intentional. You knew that much. The result left you feeling just a bit flat. Just a bit colder in the wind and you wrapped your free hand around your stomach, pulling your jacket tight for warmth.

  
“Yeah sure, where should we go?” Whatever butterflies you felt initially flew away in the cold breeze as he flippantly said he would text you the address. No longer braving the crowds of students to surprise you and pick you up from school, this Baekhyun merely sent you a dot location on a map and told you he would be in the back.

  
You locked your phone and tossed it in your bag in a bit of a huff at the sheer stubbornness of the man and you made your way back across campus to the bus stop that would take you to the small restaurant.

  
The bus stop was crowded, students all making their way home after classes, or out to lunch like you were. You recognized a face from one of your classes and you smiled politely as you approached the bench. You saw your classmate look up from the screen of his phone and recognition passed through his features as he smiled wide upon your approach.

  
“Oh hey!” you heard the friendliness and familiarity in his voice, not quite out of place considering you had worked on a recent class project with him in your group before. Yeah...that class project. He called out your name in what you were sure was a somewhat flirty tone and you recalled the overly helpful friendly way he behaved during the group meetings.

  
“Hi Youngshik, are you done for the day?” You sat carefully in the open space next to him on the bench and you saw him quickly lock his phone and pocket the device.

  
“Nah, I'm just going to grab lunch.” He always spoke comfortably with you and you smiled at the familiarity. Youngshik always felt comfortable. Someone who you could see becoming a genuine friend.

  
“Oh, me too.” You smiled as you looked away from him now as your mind began to drift back to Baekhyun. Back to the casual way he spoke on the phone. Back to the fact that he admitted, probably by accident that he had raced to answer your call. Your call that had a special ring tone to tell him it was you. Even now after being demoted to _best friends_ , something still made him want to talk to you enough to rush to answer that call. The sound of his breaths as he tried to calm himself down so you wouldn't notice. But of course you noticed. You'd have to be blind and deaf not to notice the things Baekhyun did around you.

  
“...for lunch?” Someone was speaking to you and their words interrupted your thoughts.

  
“I’m sorry what?” You turned to Youngshik who was watching you closely with an amused expression on his face.

  
You heard him laughing and he looked away as he covered his smile with his hand.

  
“I asked you if you would like to join me for lunch, but your mind seems to be preoccupied. You didn't hear me.”

  
Was-- Was he pouting? You couldn't be sure but you saw a slight frown and you heard the definite drop in his voice.

  
“Sorry, I'm meeting a friend for lunch.” You kept your voice light and something irked you inside when you said the word _friend_.

  
“Oh, that's ok. We can go next time.” And you saw it. The sweet smile with a small wink and made your mind go into a panic.

  
 _Next time?_ Did Youngshik have the wrong idea? Had you somehow led him to believe something about you that you hadn't intended? He wasn't looking at you anymore and seemed to be watching something across the street and you felt the chance to explain your situation fly by with the moving traffic the longer you sat there silently.

  
Because what was there to say? Was there anything to say about this? It wasn't like you were agreeing to a date with him. And sometimes lunch with classmates was nice. Especially with Youngshik, he was smart and did well in classes and sometimes you needed someone who you could study with. Plus you got along very well with him.

  
Besides...if you told him you had a boyfriend right now, after sitting on this bench in silence so long after his little lunch promise, wouldn't that be weird? He wasn't even asking you anything, yet for you to suddenly offer that little bit about your boyfriend, well that would make you look like a weirdo.

  
The bus finally arrived and you both got on, finding no reason not to sit next to him, you did so with a smile and you saw the nervous way he fidgeted with the strap of his bag as he avoided your eyes.

  
You also caught the glances down at your hand and you remembered your ring. The silence wore on as passengers got on and off the bus and you pulled out your phone for the address of the restaurant.

  
“That's...pretty. What does it mean?” There was a tension in his voice that was different than before and Youngshik was pointing down at your ring as he asked. His curiosity getting the better of him, you could see the pink in the tips of his ears that told you he wasn't entirely comfortable asking, but he was way too curious to resist now.

  
You paused at the question and looked down at the small silver ring on your hand. The small diamond sparkled when the light hit it and you felt the hesitation to tell him the complicated story behind this ring. What did this ring mean? It meant that you had fallen in love with someone and now that someone was … Baekhyun was…

  
Your mind was drifting and you stared down at your hand. Recalling the sound of his voice when he'd given you the ring. Nervous, yet composed. It had been a small act of bravery at the time. He hadn't been sure how you would react to the ring so soon in the relationship. The exhale of relief that puffed out through his lips when you smiled and accepted his gift. The feeling of his beautiful fingers as they held onto your hand and slipped the small silver circle over your ring finger.

  
“Sorry…it just...my parents own a jewelry shop so I know...it’s Cartier and it’s definitely a special edition. It seems kind of expensive for a college kid to be wearing.”  
He shrugged away the prying question with a small head shake and you scoffed our loud as you looked at him now. You saw his smile widen at your sarcastic reaction.

  
“What if I'm a secret millionaire on my way to my private jet?” Your eyes widened and he laughed outright. You couldn't help but laugh along with him. His smile was contagious.

  
“Well do you want to buy me lunch tomorrow money bags?” There was definite flirting now and your own smile dropped some when you heard it.

  
“It's…actually from my boyfriend.” You said quietly, all traces of your joke gone now. You looked away from him. You didn’t need to see his reaction to the news.

  
“Of course it is. Why wouldn't it be?” He said and you heard what disappointment in his voice.

  
“And I was just kidding you know...I would have paid.” You heard him say quietly as the bus pulled to a stop. This was where you were getting off and you stood with your backpack, freezing when you saw movement from Youngshik’s seat.

  
Your face must have looked a little too surprised because you heard him laugh next to you.

  
“This is my stop too. I swear, I’m getting pizza right there” you saw him raise his hand and point a finger out the window to prove his point.

  
You exited the bus, feeling Youngshik exiting behind you and you turned to acknowledge him on the sidewalk.

  
“Hey, about the--” he was rubbing the back of his neck, a bit of a nervous gesture and you watched curiously as he figured out what he wanted to tell you. A movement out of the corner of your eye drew your attention and you saw someone you recognized. Someone in a face mask who walked quickly by, not meeting your eyes as you looked at him. You looked up at the name of the building you stood in front of and you recognized the restaurant name as the same that Baekhyun had sent you the location of.

  
“...the assignment, and maybe we could also get together to review. This next exam is probably going to be tough and I kinda wanted to see your notes.”

  
Your eyes returned to your chatting classmate and you quickly nodded with a smile. Wanting to get into the restaurant now to meet Baekhyun for lunch.

  
“That's sounds great, just text me Youngshik. Have a nice lunch.” Your smile was wide and he returned it with his own shy smile and a small wave goodbye as you left him behind on the sidewalk.

  
Inside the restaurant the lone shop owner motioned you through and you made your way to the back of the restaurant looking for Baekhyun’s face.

  
The further back you moved, the more empty tables you saw until you saw the top of his head. Black cap sitting on top of red hair as he sat with his back facing you in a rear booth.

  
You slid in opposite of him with a smile and you saw him smile in return.

  
“Will this place be okay?” Your eyebrows were raised and you glanced around nervously at the mostly empty restaurant.

  
“Yeah, I’ve heard the food here is terrible so nobody ever comes in here.” You heard the joke in his voice and you let out a small laugh.

  
“Why are we eating here then?” You asked with a small pout.

  
He just shrugged as he lifted the menu to read.

  
“I'm kind of in the mood for something terrible...makes me feel alive.” You laughed because the statement felt so much like him.

  
“You do the weirdest things to feel alive.” You said under your breath and he just shrugged in agreement because he knew you were right.

  
The old woman who ran the shop came and you ordered half heartedly, not really believing his claims about the quality of the meal he had invited you to.

  
When your dishes arrived there was a moment of pause where you stared down at your bowl of soup with the hopes of eating something delicious. He had ordered the same soup as you and you watched cautiously as he lifted a spoonful into his mouth.

  
He tasted it slowly and swallowed and you saw his eyebrow twitch upward in. He put the spoon down and you saw the corner of his mouth lift before you heard laughter. He was giggling to himself now.

  
He shook his head and he laughed harder as he reached for the small bottle of soy sauce and began to shake the container over the soup.

  
You lifted your own spoon into your mouth and swallowed. Flat. Bland. Hardly even soup as much as warmed water with stuff in it. Yes, the food here was terrible. You frowned and pouted at the waste. You could be eating a delicious lunch if not for this man who insisted on coming to a deserted soup shop with you.

  
After the soy sauce Baekhyun reached for the bottle of chili sauce beside it and poured that in as well.

  
You mirrored his movements as he giggled to himself. You saw the pinkness of his cheeks and you couldn't help but laugh with him. His laughter was genuinely contagious. Why did he find this so funny? This was terrible. You were hungry and this soup was so sad.

  
“Just put everything in it, maybe it'll get better.” He was grabbing some other bottle on the table now as he tasted his soup between additions. Making faces with each taste.

  
“Oppa, do you think maybe she can't taste things? Why is it so bland?” You heard him laughing harder and he moved the bottle he was holding over your bowl, adding some to yours.

  
“This one makes it better, I promise.” You tasted your soup after his additions and while delicious was not the right word, at least it tasted like something now.

  
“I never thought it was possible for a soup to taste dry.” You said quietly to yourself and you heard him laughing again as he nodded in agreement.

  
He was eating more now, chewing his food and swallowing as he reached for his water glass to wash it down after every bite.

  
“Okay be honest, did you bring me here because you're still mad at me?” You spoke your sudden realization with a wrinkled nose and you saw him tense and cover his mouth with his hand as he snorted out again in laughter.

  
He was trying not to spit out the mouthful of food now as he squeezed his eyes shut tightly and nodded his head as he answered your question honestly.

  
“Really? Stop laughing so much and talk, did you do this on purpose?” He chewed and swallowed as he wiped his eyes and tried to quiet down his giggles. Nodding his head again, confessing that he had chosen this terrible place for lunch specifically with the terrible food in mind because of some stupid idea he had to get back at you. This place was pay back. Byun Baekhyun was a giant child and he was sitting across from you now, forcing himself to eat terrible food because he'd made his bed now and he was going to lie in it.

  
“Seriously Baekhyun, of all the petty ways to torture me--”

  
He was lifting a spoonful of his soup now and he leaned across the table coming toward you with the spoon. You saw his eyebrows lifted, his smile wide and he opened his mouth into an animated _Ahh_ , telling you to open wide and just take it.

  
“No no no-” you started to protest but he was coming faster than you could get your words out and you saw the spoon beginning to drip across the table.

  
Without any other options you opened your mouth and he pushed the food in. You chewed slowly with a pout on your face before you began to feel the heat.

  
How much chili sauce did he put in his soup for it to be this spicy? Is this why he was drinking so much water? Your mouth felt like it was on fire now and you quickly swallowed the food and reached for your water. Your eyes were watering and you reached your foot out under the table and kicked him against his shins, making him grunt loudly.

  
“It's too spicy!” You complained as you wiped the wetness from your eyes.

  
“I know, I can't even taste anything anymore.” He tossed his spoon down onto the table and you saw his hand down at his leg rubbing at his shin with a scowl of pain.

  
From the corner of your eye you saw the shop owner coming with a plate of something in her hands. More food. You reached your foot under the table again to let Baekhyun know that she was coming and as you tapped the toe of your shoe against his leg you felt his legs move quickly and snake around your foot, pulling it tightly, trapping it between his legs. He was moving his legs and you felt our shoe pop off and drop down onto the floor below the table.

  
Your sock covered foot was trapped between his legs and he reached down onto the floor and picked up your shoe, holding it hostage on his side of the table.

  
He straightened up instantly when he saw her coming. His smile was wide and the very picture of innocence as he looked up at the woman who arrived with a plate of fresh noodles and plopped them down with a sweet smile.

  
“Thank you Auntie!” Baekhyun cooed at the old woman with a sweet smile and she glowed as she turned and left you both to it.

  
His eyes found yours, his smile replaced with a look of genuine worry and he looked down at the plate of noodles as he bit down on his lip. You looked at the noodles too. They were….brown. Very very brown. You saw something that might look like a vegetable in there but whatever it was it was also very brown.

  
“You try them first and I'll give you back your foot.”

  
You didn't want to try them and you wondered how long he'd actually sit here holding you hostage like this. Knowing him, it would be all afternoon. The man was stubborn to a fault. That much you'd always known.

  
You lifted your chopsticks and picked up some noodles, wrapping them around the tips quickly you lifted the heap of pasta to your mouth and stuck them in quickly.

  
Salt.

  
Salt, salt, and more salt your eyes watered and your mouth protested but you forced your face to remain calm. Then with a lift of your eyebrows you smiled and quickly swallowed the noodles down

  
“Mmmm, Oppa these are really good!” You prayed your voice was convincing and you longed for your water. Maybe if you put the noodles inside the soup the two would even each other out and you'd have something actually edible as a result.

  
You felt his legs release your foot and you pulled your leg back to yourself as you moved your chopsticks back to the noodles to grab another mouthful. He was watching you with squinted eyes and it was clear he was suspicious of the brown noodles.

  
“Really?” He finally said and you shoved more saltiness into your mouth as you slurped and nodded your head dramatically as if they were the most delicious thing in the world.

  
You tried not to stare with bated breath as he picked up his chopsticks and grabbed a single noodle from the pile.

  
No, that wouldn't do. He needed more than one. This wouldn't be a good payback otherwise. You quickly swatted his single noodle down out of his chopsticks and grabbed a big bunch, twirling it around you came for him quickly.

  
“Taste them Oppa, they're so good!” His eyes widened and he opened his mouth as you shoved a huge pile of noodles into his mouth and he froze as soon as they hit his tongue.

  
“Mmm?!” He hummed in absolute protest and with his mouth too full for words.

  
“You better not spit it out, she's watching you.” You whispered in a threatening voice.  
He was stuck. You were trying not to laugh so hard but you couldn't help it. Baekhyun was frozen over the plate of noodles with his mouth full of them and a huge amount hanging down onto the plate.

  
“Go ahead” you giggled and motioned with your hand that he should slurp to eat the whole mouthful that he was in for.

  
He was chewing and his eyebrows were screwed together in discomfort as he got the noodles down. To his benefit, he sold it as best as one would hope. Once they were down he grunted loudly and reached for his water cup, which after the spicy food was now empty. The panic on his face once he realized his terrible mistake was priceless and he looked back up at you with wide pleading eyes.

  
You were holding your own cup securely in your hands with a wide smile.

  
“My shoe.” You said. He watched your cup and you saw him moving. He grabbed your shoe quickly and stood up, walking around to the your side of the bench, he knelt down in front of you and you rotated, holding your foot out in front of him so he could put your shoe back on your foot. He even tied your shoelaces into a neat little bow and patted your calf when he was done.

  
You rewarded him with your water cup which he drained instantly while still down on the floor.

  
When it was empty it slammed it down onto the table and stood in front of you. He reached down quickly and grabbed your hand, pulling your arm, urging you to get out of the booth and onto your feet. You quickly grabbed your bag and scrambled for your phone as he pulled you out of the booth and away from the table.

  
“Come on, let's go, I can't do anymore. Lets leave this terrible place and never come back.” His hand held on to yours firmly and you tried to ignore the warmth of his palm. You tried to ignore how good it felt for him to touch you again.

  
“Wait, I have to pay!”  
  
Your duty as a paying customer won out and you pull your hand out from his grip so you could grab your wallet and pay the old shop owner who had no business cooking and selling food to anybody. When you turned to leave you noticed Baekhyun standing against the far wall with his arms across his chest and he was staring at you with a blank, unreadable expression on his face. You made your way across the empty space of the restaurant and his eyes were still on you, unfocused and he was deep in his thoughts.

  
You watched him come to life as you drew closer to him and he blinked away the storm you knew you saw in those eyes. He pulled his lips into a small smile and he turned to walk through the door, walking in front you.

  
You were busy shoving your change back into your wallet and stuffing your wallet down into your purse as you walked through the door directly behind him and you felt the heavy metal door clang hard against your head just as you’d entered the doorway.

  
You shouted in pain and pressed your hand over your head as you looked up at his surprised face. He’d turned when he heard your shout and quickly grabbed the door to pull it open, his cheeks slightly pink at his oversight. You glared at him and wondered how much was an oversight and how much was petty Baekhyun acting childish.

  
“I didn't do that one on purpose I swear!” His eyes were wide and his smile was tightly controlled as you rubbed at the sore spot on your head.

  
“Why aren't you watching where you are walking anyway?” He defenses were up as you glared at him harder and you saw the pout on his face.

  
“I can't believe you'd just let go of it like that when you knew I was behind you.” You grumbled and you heard him say something under his breath in response.

  
“What did you say?” You knew it was something snarky just by the tone and the look on his face and he paused for a moment in the briefest of thoughts before his eyes widened and his chin lifted in defiance.

  
“I called you a dummy. What kind of dummy doesn't look ahead when she walks?” His voice was louder and much more confident and you heard the annoyance in his tone.

  
“What kind of dummy doesn't hold the door when someone is behind them?” You countered with your chin just as high and your eyes just as wide.

  
His nostrils flared and you saw him spin on his heels quickly leaving the front of the restaurant and the scene of the crime.

  
You followed, falling into step next to him as he pulled his facemask on and his hood tight around his head over the baseball cap.

  
“You're the dummy.” You heard him say quietly next to you and you heard the playful tone as he insulted you again with much less passion and much more brevity. .

  
“You're the dummy Baekhyun just admit it. It's always been you. I don't even know how you memorize all those dance moves. I bet you forget the lyrics to all the songs all the time.” You felt the laughter bubbling up inside your chest and you pushed it down keeping your face straight.

  
“Oh my god shut up, I'm so smart about everything all the time. You're the one that can't walk right. Do you want to hold my hand In case there are more doors?”

  
“There are no doors on the sidewalk dummy.” Your final response made him laugh behind the mask and he went quiet as he slowed his steps. He was at the bus stop that you knew would take you back to school. Your next class was in an hour and you had some work to finish before it started.

  
“I'll see you later okay?” You watched his face as he listened to your parting and he leaned in close. You felt his warm hand run over the small of your back and you felt goosebumps erupt over your skin as he touched you there. Intimate. Undeniably so. Memories of his sweetness, memories of his touch. He felt Impossibly close to you, yet miles apart and your eyes wanted to drift closed as he moved in closer, bending his face down to speak lowly into your ear where only you would hear him. You held your breath and you were pretty sure your heart stopped beating as well.

  
“Ok dummy” he said in the softest whisper that sounded much too low and sexy for right here and right now and you closed your eyes. You could feel the scratchy face mask brush against your cheek and you gripped the strap of your bag tighter as you felt the butterflies return. Where had they gone? How had he brought them back so effortlessly?

  
You opened your eyes and saw him standing up straighter. His eyes dark and intense on yours and you saw the storm clouds again.

  
The longer you looked into those brown eyes the more the world around you disappeared. There was no bus stop, no passengers waiting for the next bus to arrive, no honking of horns or shouting of drivers in the busy traffic on the street.

  
All you saw was his slow blinking and the slow delicate way his eyes roamed over your face. Each time he closed his eyes you wondered if he would look away. If this moment would peak and be too much and he would give up and turn to leave.

  
You froze when you felt his hand leave your back for your waist. Then his long fingers left your waist for your arm and his hand was moving lower, sliding down your left arm that hung limply by your side until you felt his thumb around your wrist and delicate fingertips warming a path down over the palm of your hand, traveling downward.

  
What was his destination? Why was he moving so slowly and why were his eyes still boring into your soul.

  
His eyes closed once more and this time they stayed closed and you felt his fingertips reach their destination. Between his thumb and middle finger you felt him grab ahold of your ring and he felt the small token with his fingers, wiggling the little thing back and forth as he spun it around your finger. You saw movement below the mask he wore that covered his face and you watched his throat as he swallowed.

  
A deep breath. His chest rose and it fell. You felt yourself doing the same. Mirroring his breathing as you felt a similar need for oxygen consume you.

  
When Baekhyun looked at you again the look in his eyes had changed. Gone was the storm. Gone was the intensity and gone was the anguish you had seen all day.

  
This look was different.

  
It was sadness mingled with something else and he dropped your hand, took a step back and away from you and broke all contact from you that involved body heat and touching. Everything that was dangerous and lovely. Everything you craved and wanted and feared at the same time.

  
The sound of a diesel engine filled your awareness and you smelled the bus exhaust that told you your ride was here.

  
It was a silent departure. He merely watched you and you nodded once in his direction before you turned to leave.

  
Back to your school, back to your classes and away from the touch of Byun Baekhyun.

  
_Friends._

  
Fuck all.

  
He wasn't your friend any more than you were his. You knew that simple fact so absolutely and completely that you found yourself laughing at the ridiculousness of that word. The more you laughed the more you felt the madness taking whatever bit of reason you had left when it came to Byun Baekhyun.

  
To think you tried to play along.

  
What a fool you had become. Maybe you were the real dummy here. He had been right. It was you all along.

  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  
The evening before the halloween party you stood in front of your closet faced with a decision

  
You owned exactly two halloween costumes that fit you. The last minute invitation didn't really afford you with much of a chance to shop for anything else.

  
One was sexy.

  
One was funny.

  
You stared at the two, pacing back and forth in front of your closet as you chewed on your thumb nail and tried to come to some sort of a decision.

  
Funny was safe. Funny was friendly and funny wouldn't catch too much attention. You could blend in and keep a low profile while still having a good time. Funny was comfortable and funny was safe.

  
Sexy was….dangerous. It might be playing dirty and perhaps it was what he expected. Perhaps he had armed himself for sexy. Perhaps he was ready for it and he would avoid you tonight if you went sexy.

  
Funny was harmless, but sexy was….well it was obvious.

  
Unable to make a decision you did what you had to do. You packed both costumes up and headed over to Chanyeol’s for his opinion. Maybe a man's perspective could lend you some clues.

  
Changing at the party was a better idea than traveling by bus dressed in full costume a whole week before Halloween. You surely would gather too much attention in either of the costumes if you dressed now.

  
When you knocked on the door, 30 minutes before the party was due to start you were greeted by a panting, half werewolf Chanyeol. He wore tattered jeans and a ripped up plaid button up shirt and had claws and hair on his hands. His face had bits of fur stuck to it and you saw that he held a makeup pallet.

  
“You're early.” He said as he ushered you inside. You noticed the halloween decorations and spiderwebs on the ceiling as you walked through the doorway.

  
“And you aren't dressed!” He was complaining now and you patted your bag as you reassured him.

  
“I brought it with me, but quick, pick one: Funny or Sexy.” You held a certain urgency in your voice and he answered instantly without even thinking about it.

  
“Funny, definitely. Sexy is boring.” He was walking back into his bathroom and you followed him closely behind as you carried your bag with you.

  
“Right? I was thinking the same thing. Girls always do sexy, it’s so predictable. Okay I’ll use the funny one.”

  
You found yourself struggling with the zipper of your full sized hot dog costume in Chanyeol's bathroom. Your black tights pulled high under the costume you opted for just your black bra underneath since it would be hot enough already without added layers. You angled your arms behind your head trying to reach the zipper and had managed to pull it up midway up your back but were genuinely unable to get it up past your shoulders where your angle just didn't work. The weiner had a hole in it for your face and when you wore it over your head the way it was designed you couldn't reach behind you for the zipper.

  
When you peeked your head out into Chanyeol’s room he spun around in his chair, eyes wide and fur in place on his face and he started to laugh as soon as he saw your costume.

  
Chanyeol laughed with his mouth open too wide and he then threw himself down onto the floor, pointing against the wooden floors with his open hand as he laughed and laughed. You shook your head and rolled your eyes at the man's overreaction.

  
“Can you help me with the zipper? I can't get it.” You pouted and he laughed harder as he stood on shaking legs and made his way to where you waited at the doorway of his bathroom.

  
“Shit this is great. I knew there was something different about you.”

  
“Yeah I can't wait to be the least sexy person in the room tonight.” You grumbled and he laughed.

  
“I'm literally growing hair out of my ears right now,” he said in his low reassuring voice.

  
“Yeah but you're doing it so sexily. The girls would swoon even if you had hair growing out of your butt.”

  
Chanyeols laughter echoed down the hallway as he exited and you followed, waddling because of the foam weiner that filled that rested between your thighs. You winced at your choice of funny over sexy when you made it to the kitchen where people were setting out snacks and drinks. By the time you both decided to emerge from Chanyeol's room, party guests had arrived and music was playing as guests giggled and drank and ate.

  
You recognized faces of members all dressed in costumes and when you made your way into the kitchen there was a commotion as recognition hit them and laughter rang out. A few were missing still, but you noticed Jongin who greeted you right away with a wide smile and an appreciative nod of his head. He was infuriatingly handsome in the pilot’s uniform he wore and you grimaced as you looked around the room. Guests were beginning to arrive and although the turnout was small, you saw new faces you didn't recognize.

  
What you did notice was that every single woman was dressed in something sexy and revealing. Beautiful women in skimpy outfits that drew plenty attention and showed lots of skin. You looked down at the trail of mustard that wiggled down your weiner and you wiggled your arms to get comfortable with the big stuffed bun that lined your sides.

  
Maybe funny was a bad idea.

  
“I love it.” You heard a low voice behind you and you spun around, nearly losing your balance as your bun bumped against the kitchen counter.

  
Another handsome face greeted you. He held a magnifying glass up to his eye dramatically, dressed in a Sherlock Holmes that seemed to suit his height and body frame perfectly. Why were all of these people so damn gorgeous? You stumbled when you spun and you saw his eyes widen in surprise as he reached out to grab your arms to steady you. You noticed the pink in his cheeks and the nervous way he bit down on his lip and turned away, dropping your arms as soon as the threat was over.

  
“Oh -- Hi Sehun, it’s nice to see you again” your smile was genuine. Despite the rough start, these last few days with the guys had warmed you up quite a bit to them. Sehun had been busy for most of the time, shooting a movie according to Chanyeol, but he was always sweet the few times you glimpsed him.

  
You felt him place something in your hand and you knew it was a drink but with the way the costume was set up you couldn't quite look down without spilling it.

  
He was watching you and soon he was laughing again at your struggles with the drink. He took the drink back and you dropped your now empty hand.

  
“Hold on, I’ll help help you,” he said, and he disappeared with your drink, returning with a straw as he held it up in front of your face.

  
“You really don't have to do this” you said with a bit of a pout and you saw him control his smile and fail a little bit and you felt him push the straw into your parted lips. The drink was too strong and you made a face as the alcohol went down. Jeez, who always making these things? Were they trying to get you wasted?

  
You felt him push the straw back into your mouth again, urging you to drink with a wide smile.

  
“Come on, it's a party! Have fun with us.” He whined when you turned from the drink. His pout was strong and you shrugged with an eye roll before downing the drink quickly, much to his satisfaction. You would just do the one. You didn't need to get wasted tonight. Not surrounded by these people and definitely not with Baekhyun somewhere in this house. Where was he? You hadn't seen him yet and you hoped he would be coming soon.

  
“Are you hungry?” A voice behind you was speaking and you had to turn completely around to see who it was.

  
“Junmyeon!” You greeted him with a wide smile and he laughed from under his Darth Vader helmet.

  
“How did you know it was me?” You laughed at the disappointment in his voice.

  
“Wild guess.” You turned down the food he offered and you felt arms on your buns spinning you around again.

  
“Hey, we were talking Hyung, she's not hungry she's going to play a game with me” there was a new brattiness in Sehun's voice that seemed to appear when he talked to Junmyeon and you found yourself being pulled across the room to sit on the couch in front of the tv.

  
A small group of people sat in front of the tv and you smiled and waved at Minseok in his gangster costume and looked at the woman with the feather boa and sexy red dress that sat with her arms over her chest on the couch next to him. The gangster and his lady. The couple costume was cute and you wondered who Minseok brought as a date. As far as you knew he wasn't dating anyone, but that didn't mean much. He probably had plenty of friends to bring along. She seemed to be upset, pouting or throwing some sort of a fit and when she looked up you gasped at the instant recognition.

  
“I lost a bet okay!” Jongdae whined, his bright red lipstick, heavy smokey eyes and dramatic black wig completed the look and when you looked down you noticed the obvious flat chest that left the silk dress just a bit loose on the top. You were staring at his chest for a bit too long and you heard him whining as he wiggled on the sofa.

  
“Ahh, stop looking at my chest, I feel so objectified right now!”

  
“Okay everybody playing, this doubles as a drinking game, every time your character gets thrown off the platform you have to take a drink!”

  
The video game was easy, but grew harder and harder the more you played. The alcohol from that first drink was making you feel warm all over and the overly warm costume didn't help. Sehun brought you another drink which you sipped very sparingly whenever you were thrown off the platform and by the time you called it and quit playing the game you were pleased to find that you'd only finished half of your drink. Sehun, Minseok and Junmyeon protested loudly when you declared yourself done with the game and left the living room.

  
You felt tipsy, but nothing you couldn't handle.

  
The hot dog on the other hand had other ideas as you walked around the living space. You caught slight scowls and eye rolls from the many female guests that you simply ignored. You didn't need any extra drama right now. Your life was enough of a mess as it was.

  
You nearly collided with a beautiful man dressed as an angel. Big black wings smacked you in the face as you both tried to make your way past each other in the hallway and he grabbed you by the buns and spun you around him, trying to free his wings. You both struggled with the over sized costume and he apologized again and again for the trouble his wings had caused. You could tell by his accent that he was Chinese and you knew he was Yixing based on what you knew about the group.

  
“I like your feathers,” you giggled in his direction and he laughed and squeezed your buns once more before he pushed you down the hallway, finally free of each other you were making your way through the home, a bit too drunkenly for any real destination.

  
You turned a corner and ran into him. You bounced off of a firm body and felt yourself skip backwards as you nearly stumbled onto the floor. You caught yourself in time, before you could make a fool of yourself.

  
A familiar man in a police officer’s uniform complete with badge and a toy gun on his belt, you saw handcuffs and when you looked up into his face you saw his eyes widen as he saw your face.

  
He did a complete up and down of your costume before he turned his head, closed his eyes and laughed out loud, showing all of his teeth and grabbing his belly in laughter.

  
“I saw the hot dog from behind, but I didn't know it was you. My god, that's great!” Baekhyun said between his laughter. You had a moment while he laughed to appreciate the look of him in a uniform. Good lord was he sexy, you stared blatantly while he was preoccupied with his laughter. Something about the blue complimented his skin and the red hair under the hat was shockingly beautiful. You noticed he didn't wear eyeliner today. He looked manly. He looked tough and strong and he filled out the uniform so well you considered pulling him into his bedroom to see just how defined his muscles were below the shirt.

  
This was probably the alcohol talking.

  
Or the frustration you had been feeling since the break up.

  
“Honestly I thought you be might the gangster’s woman...but if that’s not you, who is she?”

  
“Jongdae. He said he lost a bet. He makes an interesting looking woman.”

  
Baekhyun laughed harder as he raced to the living room to have a look at Jongdae in his dress. You watched Baekhyun grab a controller with a smile as he began playing the game with the others and you made your way into the kitchen were a man dressed in regular clothes stood in front of the stove.

  
He seemed to be cooking something and when he turned you gasped at the huge eyes of the alien head mask he wore.

  
Who was this?

  
He stared at you for a long time, not saying a single word as he held onto the handle of the pan in front of him.

  
Then he silently looked back at the pan and continue stir frying whatever it was he was making.

  
You were feeling the effects of the alcohol you drank and you blinked hard as he looked back at you again. The alien grabbed a piece of the meat from the pan with his cooking chopsticks and left his station in front of the pan and you froze as he came up to you. Those big black eyes bored right into your brain. Was this how it happened for real? Those big black eyes accosting unsuspecting abductees and forcing them to do things? To eat things?

  
He was holding a piece of meat in front of your face now and you slowly opened your mouth to take a bite. It smelled delicious.

  
It tasted delicious and you nodded your head to his silent staring as you chewed on the meat.

  
He didn't speak. He simply turned back to his meat in the pan and you were spun around again.

  
“Kyungsoo! Quit with the weird alien shit, you didn't even say hi to her yet.” Sehun was complaining as he pulled you around the kitchen again.

  
“Come on, dance with me!” His whiney voice begged and you looked down at your stumbling feet as he swayed you around to the music.

  
Sehun was drunk. That much was obvious, but he was harmless and fun, so you danced as best as you could. Which, even though it wasn't very good, it was fun. You found yourself laughing and enjoying his company way too much.

  
You found your eyes drifting though. Too much. Your attention didn't stay on Sehun or on Junmyeon or on Kyungsoo for longer than a few minutes because Baekhyun was in the room now and you frankly couldn't get your mind to focus when he was talking to other women or laughing too loudly or telling jokes, or singing loudly to the song on the radio. You tried to push away the little cloud that had appeared when he so blatantly ignored your presence as he mingled with everyone and anyone else he could at this party.

  
You hadn't seem him drinking anything and you wondered if the jovial party mood was simply natural to him. He was so energetic and bubbly.

  
At one point as you stared at him, watching as the sexy blonde nurse sweetly touched his arm, laughing and flirting openly and he giggled in response your vision was blocked by a hairy face. Chanyeol watched you with a small frown and warm brown eyes.

  
You removed the scowl that had been on your face and smiled quickly, trying to cover it up.  
  
“You’re staring,” he whispered quietly in your ear and you felt your mood drop further. Had it been that obvious? A warm arm was around your shoulders, you could feel the pressure through the buns and you heard Sehun's voice whispering in your ear.

  
“Just forget him tonight okay, you were having fun with us.” Sehun’s words slurred a bit but you heard the message. He was trying to cheer you up and you didn't blame him one bit for it. He also had noticed the shift in your mood once Baekhyun arrived.

  
When Chanyeol moved out of the way, you noticed the spot you had seen Baekhyun in was now empty. He was gone. The nurse was gone and Baekhyun was also gone and you felt a weird twinge in your stomach as your drunken mind ran wild with possibilities.

  
Had they left together? For somewhere more private? She was very touchy with him and he didn't seem to particularly mind. He hadn't discouraged any of her touches and what if -- what if he actually---

  
“I have to pee.” You announced loudly to the small group of men who hovered around you. And you felt Sehun release his grip from around your shoulders at your sudden and honest announcement.

  
You found the door to the bathroom in the hallway and tried to handle, finding it locked. Your mind was churning with thoughts of what Baekhyun might be doing right now and you looked around again trying to spot either him or the nurse. You saw no signs of either of them and you made your way down the hallway that led to his bedroom.

  
There was a strange guilt in your movement. Why were you going over here. He wouldn't be here would he? There was no way he took this woman to his room. There was no way.

  
You reached the room and you laid your hand on the knob. Nearly ready to turn it and push it open, you would just use his bathroom. That's why you were here, because you needed a bathroom and you knew his would be free.

  
You weren't here for any other reason. You certainly didn't believe that he was in there and ---even if he was he would be alone right?

  
You heard a sound.

  
You heard a sound front the other side of the closed door and your hand was frozen around the small round door knob that felt too cold against your skin. Was that chill from the metal or was it from something else?

  
You were out of your mind at this point. The sick feeling in your stomach was growing and you rested your head against the wooden door, moving your costume away from your ear so you could press it up to the door and you heard another sound.

  
A moan. Or a groan. It was low and it was throaty and carnal and it was definitely shouted out in a voice so significant and familiar you would recognize it anywhere.

  
Baekhyun moaned, from behind the closed door of his bedroom and when you tried to turn the knob your hand was nearly too trembling to get a grip. Why couldn’t you open it?

  
The realization slapped you in the face.  
The reason you could not open the door had nothing to do with your trembling hands.

  
The door was locked.


	22. Chapter 22

You took a step back from the door. The groan from behind the door was low and throaty in Baekhyun's voice and you felt sick. The room was spinning and the heat inside your oversized costume was making you feel worse. Another step back and there was a wall at your back. You stumbled, gripping the wall as you made your way down the hallway, back toward the kitchen where you knew you would find Chanyeol and Sehun. Someone. Anyone who might help you make sense of this fucking situation.

  
Why was his door locked? Why was he in there? What was he doing with the door locked and was the other woman in there with him?

  
Were they together in that locked bedroom as he groaned and made those sounds.

  
The wall was slippery and you had a hard time getting your hot dog costume to cooperate with you. Why was it so difficult to walk straight.  
  
Someone with strong arms found you and you stumbled further, feeling the arms grip you tightly.

  
“Hot dog! Chanyeol come get hot dog, I think she is too drunk.”

  
It was Yixing, the fallen angel with the black wings and you felt your legs give as the room spun around you. You must have been crying because Yixing knelt down onto the floor with you.

  
“Do you need healing? I am an angel.”

  
Yixing was drunk.

  
And you felt your grief consuming you as you looked up into his pretty face and big round eyes, framed by huge feathered black wings behind his head.

  
“Chanyeol! Hot dog is crying now.”

  
Yixing shouted behind him and after a few moments of crying on the floor, stuck in this stupid costume that prevented you from moving freely, you heard his voice again,

  
“Don't cry hot dog. I'm sorry you are so delicious.”

  
Suddenly you felt arms lifting you up.

  
You saw Chanyeol's concerned face and you saw Sehun’s handsome face come into view. He was fanning you with a take out menu from a pizza place and you heard Chanyeol's questions peppered quickly at you.

  
You couldn't think straight. The room spun too much and what was he doing in the bedroom with her? You ignored the questions and you found yourself pushed down onto the sofa next to Sehun.

  
“Aww man, who made the hot dog cry? Hey Rina, did you make her cry? You're always a bitch. I bet it was you, Rina.”

  
One of the party guests was kneeling down in front of you with a glass of water and you recognized her face from the drinking game you played earlier. She was terrible at staying on the platform and you were pretty sure she was much drunker than you were.

  
“What happened? Why are you so upset?” Sehun was rubbing your squishy hot dog buns hard, to reach through to your shoulders as he spoke softly into your ear and you hiccuped down the words you were trying to get out.

  
“B-Baekhyun….he's… in his bedroom,” you said as you broke down again before you could say any more, your sobs becoming too much to bear.

  
“Aww, he's in his room. That’s sad, you're right, rooms suck. He sucks.” Sehun frowned dramatically as he rubbed on your back, speaking in a baby voice that was meant to placate the silly emotional drunk girl.

  
He thought you were just drunk sad. Instead of real sad. Sehun was well meaning and Sehun was dumb.

  
“No...he's not alone in his room. He was w-with a g-girl.” You got the words out before you broke down again and the drunk girl with the water in front of you whispered softly to you as she rubbed your hot dog bun.

  
You couldn't feel her comfort at all.

  
“He’s what?” Chanyeol's voice broke through sounding more angry than you ever heard from him before and you looked up at the werewolf who looked threatening and menacing as he loomed over you on the sofa.

  
“He--was with someone out here and they're gone now, and now his room is locked and I heard….sounds.” Sehun's grip around your shoulders grew tighter and he tensed up as he looked up in alarm at Chanyeol who spun on his heels and bolted out of the room.

  
“Who was it?” Sehun spoke up beside you, his voice serious now. You looked up into his face and saw the anger there. His jaw clenched and his nostrils flared as he looked at you with wide demanding eyes.

  
“A nurse.” You whispered beside you. It felt dirty and shameful to say out loud and when you shook your head you felt a strong dizziness from the alcohol. You were finding it difficult to keep the room from spinning and your words were too slurred for comfort. How strong were those drinks?

  
“Seri, who is dressed as a nurse?” Sehun was talking to the drunk girl in front of you and she smiled a wide drunken smile as she giggled.

  
“Rina, her tits look great in that costume. We taped them so they popped up real high, she's such a bitch. She said she was going to take my man and then she disappeared.”

  
“Who is your man?”

  
Seri giggled harder and she fell back onto her butt with her laughter.

  
“Baek, but there's a stupid rumor that he has a girlfriend. Rina said she was going to fuck him anyway. We made a bet and she said she could at least blow him. What a bitch.”

  
“Shit. Why do you girls have to be like this?” Sehun cursed under his breath as your world fell apart around you.

  
You'd lost him. You'd lost the love of your life and he had given into the frustrations and lust and you'd lost him for good now. How could he do this to you? How could he do this when he loved you. He said so himself, so many times.

  
Did he really not love you any more? Could he really throw this all away so easily? One fucking night of weakness and you were a memory, nearly forgotten for a slut in a sexy costume.

  
You'd never be able to accept something like this. You felt sick again and you wanted Seri to stop laughing like that.

  
Chanyeol’s voice echoed in the distance. It was the sound of him coming down the hallway and you heard another voice that sent a chill down your spine. They seemed to be discussing something and their voices were serious sounding.

  
“Wait, I did what?” Baekhyun said loudly as he entered the living room.

  
Chanyeol whispered something into Sehun's ear and the man with the strong grip around your shoulder rubbed against your back as you watched the exchange between the two men. You couldn't turn to look at Baekhyun. You felt too crushed. Too consumed by the betrayal you felt.

  
Chanyeol was on his knees in front of you and his hands rested on your knees.

  
“Honey, there wasn’t anyone else in his room. He was just rolling around on the bed throwing a noisy fit by himself. He was completely alone, I promise.”

  
Chanyeols eyebrows screwed together as he sat in front of you speaking in a slow careful voice and you shook your head as the tears fell down your cheeks.

  
“Alone?” You repeated and you looked at Sehun who bit his lip and nodded his head at you.

  
“She thinks I did what?” Baekhyun's voice was closer now and you could hear something his voice as you stared ahead into the empty space of the living room. Acutely aware of the presence of every single party goer, now watching the events unfold before them like some tv drama.

  
“Why?” Baekhyun was too close now. Chanyeol was gone, Sehun sat back and you felt Baekhyun's hands in front of you, reaching for yours.

  
His big brown eyes were directly in your line of sight and you felt more tears fall. You couldn't stop it and you couldn't understand what he was telling you. Could it be true? He was alone in his room and the groaning was him living out some torture you hadn't even realized he was feeling.

  
Your fuzzy mind returned to the evening, the stolen glances in his direction. The way you watched him with the other girls..was it possible that he watched you too? Was he dealing with his jealousy again because of Sehun’s attention? You considered the possibility, picturing him groaning out in frustration as he tried to rein it in behind the locked door in his bedroom. He must have tried to secretly control the heightened emotions he felt when he saw you playing and dancing with another man all evening long.

  
“Why would I do that to you?” His eyes were on you and you looked up to find him on his knees, his eyes pleading, his voice begging.

  
Someone turned off the music.

  
“Why would I do that to you?” He repeated.

  
“A-Are you listening to me, look at me please, do you know me?”

  
“Would I do that? When I know exactly how it feels, would I do that to you? Do you honestly believe that I would do that to you?”

  
He was breathing harder now as he spoke to you. Asking the same question over and over as he dealt with the disbelief.

  
You shook your head as you looked down at his hand that gripped your own tightly.

  
Seri spoke up suddenly.

  
“Rina said she was going to blow you in your bedroom...w-we made a b-bet--I t-told Sehun that when the hot dog was crying.” And the laughter in her voice was gone as the gravity of the situation must have hit her now. Her cheeks looked pink as she spoke up and you watched his face turn around in surprise.

  
Baekhyun was looking behind him at the drunk girl sitting on her butt holding a cup of water in both of her hands. Her voice sounded serious as she looked into Baekhyun's grave face.

  
“You told her that and she t-thinks I actually--”

  
The room was completely silent and you looked up and around at all of the faces in the room and Baekhyun's face changed. You saw anger and you saw his jaw clench down hard. His eyes were wide and he was looking around the room.

  
“Where the fuck is Rina?” He said in a cold hard voice and you felt his hands drop yours the moment as he stood.

  
“I think she's in the bathroom.” A voice in the back said and there was a bit of commotion as Baekhyun was moving away and you heard a yelp as the crowd parted and the blonde nurse from earlier was pushed into Baekhyun's view.

  
She looked around at the tense silent faces that all looked at her and you noticed the confusion on her face.

  
“Rina did you make a bet about me?” Baekhyun's voice was harsh and Rina opened her mouth to protest but her eyes glanced down at the floor where Seri still sat looking down at her feet, face red and eyes darting around. Ashamed at the trouble she had contributed to.

  
Rina didn't answer right away. She seemed to be frozen under the attention of the entire room.

  
“Rina did you make a fucking bet with Seri that, I would let you blow me tonight, even though I have a girlfriend?”

  
The gasp in the room was noticeable and the blonde woman lifted her face to look into Baekhyun's angry eyes once before she bit her lips and nodded quickly, looking down.

  
_Girlfriend?_

  
You heard the angry laugh that broke free from Baekhyun's chest and he looked down at the floor, nearly too consumed with anger to speak. His face was red and his fists turned white where he held them tightly at the sides of his hips.

  
He suddenly laughed again. Humorless and bitter as he spun on his heels.

  
His eyes met yours for a second and the look you saw there was desperate. He looked down at Seri on the floor now.

  
“Is this fun? Are you two having lots of fun playing games with me? With my fucking life?” You noticed his arm waved in your direction now as he spoke and you saw his finger point in your direction.

  
The question was met with silence.

  
“So who won the bet?” He said in a flat tone.

  
“Seri did you win? Or did Rina win?”

  
“Hmm?” His eyebrows lifted as he looked between the two women and you felt Sehun shift on the couch next to you.

  
“Ahh hyung, come on that's enough. Don't you think you're going too far?” Sehun pleaded, his voice a low whine.

  
Baekhyun spun, his eyes wide and he lifted a finger in Sehun’s direction.

  
“You be quiet, I've got some words for you too Sehun.” His voice was sharp and reprimanding and Sehun snapped his lips closed and sat far back onto the sofa.

  
“Well if you won't tell me who won the bet, how about the terms? What did the winner get?” He was speaking again to the two women, one who now had tears rolling down her face as she stood with her arms over her chest just out of Baekhyun's reach. The other on the floor looked up at the question before she looked over at Rina.

  
“Hmm? How much was it? $50? $100? $1000?” You saw him reaching into his back pocket now, he dug through his wallet, ripping out a handful of bills which he angrily tossed in the direction of the girl on the floor.

  
“Here, take it. You won Seri. Congratulations. Take it all and get the fuck out,” he said and the girl on the floor flinched hard as the bills flew past her onto the floor below.

  
Nobody moved.

  
“Both of you, out!” He shouted and they jumped at the harsh volume.

  
“You fuck with my life, you fuck with this girl who IS my fucking life--” his hand motioned in your direction again and your eyes widened as you saw curious glances look in your direction as heads leaned together in hushed whispers.

  
“...then we are done. We are no longer friends.”

  
Junmyeon took a step forward, his helmet was removed and his hands outstretched toward Baekhyun.

  
“Okay now you've said your part, let's take a moment to calm down a bit huh?” Junmyeon’s voice was calm and steady and Baekhyun looked wound up and ready to snap. The tension in the room made you want to close your eyes.

  
“Don't do that shit. Don't do that leader shit, do you have any idea how hard it was to get her to open up and finally come into my world? And this is the first thing that happens?”

  
You wanted to stand and pull Baekhyun out of this room. You wanted to tell him it was okay that you believed him and trusted him. You wanted to get your legs to cooperate but the costume felt too heavy and you tried to move against the gravity of the room.

  
“...and she's been trying so hard. Can't you see how hard she's been trying...for me?...and Sehun just fucking gets her drunk and hangs all over her all night. And these fake fucking women come in here with their bullshit that these kinds of women always pull.”

  
“Baek--” you managed to mumble out and his anger overshadowed your attempt.

  
“I finally have someone real. Someone different than these fake snakes that surround us all the time and w-why is she so drunk Sehun? How much did you make her drink? She's not used to this shit you can't just do that to her.”

  
Your heavy eyelids were closed as you half listened to the discussion that was going on too long already when the room was spinning so fast and you felt so dizzy.

  
“I'm sorry hyung, she is so much fun when she drinks. I made a mistake, don't be mad at me.” Sehun's voice whined somewhere near your head.

  
“I told you Hot Dog was drinking too much. Nobody listens to me...wait I think I said it in Chinese.”

  
Yixing was speaking close to your head and you felt someone lifting you up and when you opened your eyes you saw bright red hair and brown worried eyes.

  
The busy chaos of the living room was gone and you were sitting on a chair in his bedroom. The door was closed and you heard the distant noise of music and laughter elsewhere in the home.

  
“Oppa,” you said quietly, trying to force your mind to focus. Your eyes were open and with the silence of the room you felt less dizzy.

  
“You believe me right? You don't believe that I did anything right?” You could hear the worry in his voice.

  
“Oppa,” you said in as serious a voice as you could manage and you felt a warm hand against your cheek. His long pretty fingers touching your skin and his thumb brushed against your lower jaw. You felt his thumb brush against your face and his eyes were moving all over.

  
You had a sudden urge and you lifted your hand and placed your fingertips over his lips.

  
“Why--” you tried to speak clearly and his eyebrows rose as you tried to get the question out without slurring the words.

  
“Hmm?” He hummed from below your fingertips.

  
“Why didn't you tell me that you had a kiss scene in your drama?” His hand moved along with your face as you shook your head in disapproval.

  
You moved your fingers over his lips and pinched them closed between your thumb and index fingers. Those lips that he let another woman kiss for his work. the kiss that he didn't tell you about. The kiss that you had to watch on tv in the living room with both of your parents watching too. The kiss that you had to pretend you knew about beforehand when your mom gasped and covered her face. When it actuality, it was such a surprise that you felt a nervousness inside when it happened. A weird thrumming sensation inside your chest wall that made you want to call and yell at him for keeping this from you.

  
You felt his lips resisting your pinching fingers. Was he smiling? Or trying to smile? You pinched harder, annoyed that he wasn't answering your question.

  
“Yrmm.. mmrmm m brmmam?” Why was he speaking nonsense?

  
“Why did you kiss someone else without warning me first? I was watching with my parents and I had to pretend that it was fine when really I wanted to do this.” You squeezed down harder and he was frozen as his eyes watched your face curiously. He still wasn't speaking despite you having asked him very clearly several times now. Why he didn't tell you? Fed up by his lack of explanation, you dropped your hand from his face in frustration at his silence.

  
His smile was instantaneous.

  
“You watched my drama?” He said quietly as if this was a surprise to him. You just shrugged and deepened your pout. Unreasonable and grumpy the longer you thought about another woman kissing his pretty mouth. Those kisses were supposed to be yours. How long had it even been since he had kissed you...really kissed you?

  
“Are you jealous?” There was a new tone in his voice and your mind perked up, recalling something he said during his rant in the livingroom.

  
“Did you say I'm your girlfriend?”

  
Baekhyun's hand fell from your face and his eyes dropped from your own -- so quickly you felt him drift away again and he stood up from the crouched position he had been in.

  
“Do you want to take off the costume and go to sleep?” He asked suddenly, his voice slightly less than before. Less what? Less obvious, less affected, less in love.

  
“Did you say I was your life?”

  
The memories of his angry rant played back in your mind despite how drunk you had felt at the time, those words he spoke with his own lips had such an impact you felt the crater that was formed in your gut when they hit.

  
He did say those things. Why wouldn't he talk about it now? Did he say them by accident? Did he never intend for you to know those things?

  
You looked down at your empty hands that sat over your lap for a long while. Waiting for him to say something...anything that wasn't a shifty subject change.

  
“We--we will talk about it later. When you're sober...for now let's just get you in bed huh?” His pleading voice was thick and cautious and you pulled yourself back. Your hurried rushed mind so quick to jump to conclusions was fighting you, demanding to know exactly what he meant by those words.

  
You stood and turned around giving him your back and he was still for a moment before you heard a zipper running down and he pushed the big foam costume down off of your back. You felt his hands against your skin and the coolness of the room was refreshing. You remembered that you only wore a bra under the costume but your tired mind didn't care. The costume fell and the tights you wore were sticky against your legs.

  
He was silent as you pushed them down and you didn't meet his eyes as you silently stripped down to your underwear. You didn't dare look at him. Something told you that whatever it was you found in those eyes would break whatever resolve you had tricked yourself into having right now.

  
You had to pee and a quick shower might help to cool your heated skin down so you moved quickly through the open space of his bedroom into the bathroom.

  
You made it three steps before it hit you. The dizziness from the alcohol hit you hard and fast and you felt the telltale signs of the contents of your stomach making a reappearance.

  
You ran for the toilet, lifted the lid and vomited into the bowl. The nausea hit you again hard and another forceful expulsion. Liquid mostly, you realized you hadn't eaten much the entire evening and the drinks you were given by Sehun had tasted quite strong. Your stomach cramped and surged inside you and you retched harder, feeling tears streaming down your face. Vomiting always brought tears. You hated it. It hurt and it felt awful and you cried as you gripped the sides of the toilet bowl hard.

  
There was a hand at your back. There was a soothing voice shushing into your ear and you felt warmth as something was wrapped over you, covering your chilled skin you felt long slender fingers reach around to pull your trembling arms through the arms his warm hoodie. You recognized the smell of it. He had worn it today. Both of his arms wrapped around your back and he zipped up the hoodie.

  
“I-I don't want to puke in front of you.” You cried harder as you felt the next wave of nausea hit you and he rubbed your back, wiping at your face with tissues.

  
“You don't need to hide anything from me, you're okay.” He whispered into your ear and you cried more as he wiped fresh tears with soft tissues.

  
“What if I puke on it?” Your concern was voiced in a hoarse whisper and you heard the chuckle from behind you. His arms were still wrapped around you and you felt the warmth of his chest as he sat on the floor in front of the toilet with you.

  
“Then I'll wash it dummy.” You groaned as you dropped your chin, suddenly embarrassed that you were doing this.

  
You looked forward, avoiding his eyes as you felt the nausea ebb and flow. Waves crashing over you until your stomach settled and you began to calm down. The dizziness was still too strong and you leaned back into him.

  
You felt him shift and move to wrap his legs around your hips and his arms moved tighter around your shoulders. The steadiness of his limbs brought you a sense of calmness. He wasn't trembling like you were. He wasn't dizzy and swaying as the world spun around him. He was a still and solid rock that held on tightly to you until you felt the urge to vomit pass and you rested your head back against him. He was so close you could feel his steady breathing puff against your cheek lulling you into the comfort of Baekhyun’s arms.

  
“Do you want a warm bath?” He whispered against your ear and you shook your head in response.

  
“You make the room stop spinning. I don't want to be alone yet?” You didn't want to be without his steady arms right now and you heard the low hum of his reply as he seemed to consider something for a moment.

  
“I'll get in with you.” His voice was an impossibly low whisper and your eyes opened at his suggestion.

  
Because a warm bath did sound nice.

  
And feeling the sanctuary of his skin and his arms sounded nicer.

  
“A-Are you sure it will be okay?”

  
He didn't respond for a moment and you wished in that instant that you could be inside his head for once.

  
“I'll get the water ready,” he said and the fact that he didn't answer your question wasn't lost on you.

  
As soon as his warmth left you, the shivering started again and you heard him moving quickly behind you. He was out of the bathroom for a while as the water in the tub filled and your head swam as you closed your eyes wishing the drunkenness could just pass already.

  
He was back and he was lifting you slowly. His hands were on the zipper of his hoodie and when it was pulled open you looked up into his face.

  
Baekhyun had always been too transparent. There was a battle being fought there tonight. He caught and held your eye contact for a second before you felt the chill in the air when he pushed the hoodie off. He was facing you when you felt his fingertips at the waistband of your panties and his hands lingered against your skin as he pushed them down. You stepped out of them.

  
There was a tremble. It was either you or him but you had little clues as to the source and his fingers danced against your skin a both hands moved up your back to unclasp your bra.

  
The garment fell. His cheeks were too pink and he steered you toward the bath.

  
“It's warm,” he said in a whisper and he was right.

  
You curled up into yourself, shaking away the dizziness and the alcohol and the evening and with your eyes closed you heard movement. A belt buckle. The heavy thud of pants hitting the floor and a swish of lighter fabric. The careful dip in the water behind you and you felt his warmth and his skin surrounding you. Legs on either side of your hips and his firm chest at your back.

  
When you leaned back against his body, his arms wrapped around you and you felt his hands grab ahold of your own.

  
When you looked down you saw his hand.

  
You saw it and you wanted to weep.

  
His hand laid flat, palm up below your own and when his fingers parted to intertwine with your own there was a shine. A sparkle of a diamond that caught the light. And the flash of a silver band.

  
His ring, on his left hand -- a ring that matched your own.

  
His right arm constricted and pulled against your chest and you felt his breath at your neck as he pulled you in closer.

  
You stared down his ring and touched it gently with your other hand. Feeling the way it curved around and fit his finger well.

  
“I'm sorry I took it off--” his voice was in your ear and you stared down at both of your hands that fit so well together.

  
“When I gave it to you, I promised I'd keep mine on… and I broke that promise, I'm sorry I took it off.”

  
“I won't do it again,” he said. His breathing was heavy and you heard the thickness in his voice.

  
You felt a familiar lump in your throat and there was a burning in your eyes.

  
“D-Do you still love me?” Your voice was small and unsure and his breath fanned out warm against your neck as he exhaled.

  
“Desperately… and completely--”

  
“I never stopped loving you… not for one second.” His words were so full of conviction that you felt the absolute truth in them and you closed your eyes. A few tears fell, sliding down your face and dripping down into the water below. His fingers tightened their grip on yours.

  
“Me too-- I love you Baekhyun.” You felt a sigh at your back as you said the words.

  
“Why--” he was speaking again and there was a pause and a sharp inhale of breath. You felt a warm wetness against your neck. His tears. You heard the sniffle in his nose and you lifted your right hand to cover his arm that held you so tightly around your shoulders.

  
“Why aren't you angry with me? Why don't you hate me? I--” a soft sob broke free, interrupting his words.

  
“I hate myself for what I said… for what I did to you that night, I'm so -- why don't you hate me?”

  
You listened to his ragged breathing as the realization hit you.

  
He hadn't been distant from you because he was mad at you. He wasn't having trouble forgiving you for the many oversights and months of cold treatment -- the stingy way you gave him just a little of your attention. While a huge fault on your part, ultimately he had been accepting of it. He had learned to cope and beg and steal to get your love and affection, which was the root of the problems in the relationship...but what was really behind his actions lately had nothing to do with all of that.

  
Baekhyun was mad at himself. He couldn't forgive himself for his drunken behavior, the forced kiss, the yelling and disgusting words that ripped you apart when he said them.

  
“I knew you didn't mean it,” you said. “You had been hurt… I hurt you too much. You didn't mean any of it.”

  
He moved both arms around you now, squeezing tighter as he sniffled against your neck, breathing harder.

  
“I didn't --”

  
“I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean any of it.”


	23. Chapter 23

  
The heat of Baekhyun's body around you warmed you through, despite the cooling of the bath water around you. At least that's what you told yourself as you began to cool off and the slight shivering made you feel dizzy again.

“Are you ready to get out?” You heard his soft voice speak up from your shoulder and you sighed before you nodded your head reluctantly.  
  
Because you didn't want to get out. You didn't want to lose his arms around you and his skin behind you and you didn't want to leave his embrace.

He was already moving though and you watched as he grabbed a towel to wrap around himself as he quickly dried off and pulled on some boxers. You tried not to watch him too closely as he moved around the bathroom but Baekhyun was like a magnet that pulled your eyes to him.

He was holding another towel and you nodded your head as you reached for the sides of the tub.

Your braced with your shaking arms and lifted yourself onto your two legs, swaying too much for your liking and you saw him quickly move forward with strong arms to wrap firmly around you before you could do something stupid like slip and fall in the bathtub and break a hip.

You'd suddenly wished he had put on more clothing than merely his boxers as he held onto you, the towel he had held in his arms had been lost in the quick action on his part and you felt his arms, his firm chest, brushed up under your arms, against your bare breasts. Hot palms against your back, wrapped so tightly around your body you were sure he could hear every single beat of your heart and shaking breath of your lungs and yet his face was forcefully steady. His eyes were up on yours, you saw the flutter in his lids as he forced them up. His were lips pulled into a stern flat line.

And his cheeks...they were pink. A marker of his struggle. They were so pink and you could feel his own heart racing through his chest as he swallowed away at nothing and pulled you further out of the bathtub.

His hands moved quickly. Bending low to reach for the towel that gravity had claimed and he quickly dried you of the moisture from the bath.

“You can wear this,” he said and he was pulling a plain white t-shirt over your head.  
Your arms moved robotically through the sleeves and you were now covered in a soft comfy shirt that covered well past your butt and smelled 100% like Byun Baekhyun, the love of your life. The man who was wrapping his arms around you again to lead you to the bedroom.

“C-Can I brush my teeth first?” You interrupted him at the doorway of the bathroom. He paused before pulling you out of the bathroom again as you quietly protested with your own sluggish legs.

“Just get in the bed, I’ll bring you a toothbrush.” You did as you were told and you found that Baekhyun had an assortment of toiletries from hotels all over the world for you to pick from. His collection was impressive and most of them had logos of five star hotels and resorts that you could never even imagine visiting in this lifetime.

You noticed the pink in his cheeks again as he watched you sort through travel sized toothpastes and his eyes shifted around, never quite meeting yours. Something you couldn't quite name had him flustered and he hovered over you, handing you small cups of water and pain pills for the morning headache you would surely have. When you had drank your fill of the water and medicine he offered, he nervously fidgeted with the empty glass and rocked on his heels, eyeing the other side of his bed with eyes too narrow as he bit down on his lip, rubbed at the back of his neck and swallowed the dryness away in his mouth.

The bath and the clean taste in your mouth lulled you into the soft pillow he had placed your head on and you found yourself struggling to keep your eyes open.

You heard sounds around the room and you swung your arm out to find a pillow at your back. Lower was another pillow.

Baekhyun had built a barricade between you two as you slept on the bed with him and your sleeping mind moaned out a protest.

“Shh, just go to sleep.” You heard him say from too far away, next to the wall where he had curled himself up with a blanket.

“Too far.” You mumbled and you heard him sigh in response.

“Just go to sleep.” His words sounded just a bit less like a request and more like a command and your eyelids were too heavy to fight it.

You woke feeling stiff. You felt as if you woke up in the exact same position as you had fallen asleep in and you sat up as you gasped loudly, momentarily surprised at being awakened after sleeping so soundly.

“W-What?” Baekhyun's sleepy voice called out from next to the wall.

“Are you going to be sick again?” The sleepy sound in his voice was fading and he was moving quickly, waking in an instant; he moved to your side to help you to the bathroom before you could be sick on the bed.

He was rolling off the bed and you felt his arms around you, trying to get you to stand but you resisted as you merely shook your head.

You weren't sick. You weren't drunk. You had slept it off and aside from a slight headache that a very dry mouth, your mind seemed to be clear. Sleepy, but clear.

“No, I’m okay,” you said and you heard him groan and sit back down next to you on the bed in a huff.

“You scared me,” he said. A little of his signature whine peeking out through his tired words. He was rubbing his face with both hands and you looked down at the bare skin of his chest. Watching him recover from the shock he dropped his hands and his eyes were back on you, noticing how closely you scrutinized him.

“Why did you let me sleep all alone when I'm sick?” Your voice was too low and his eyes widened a hair. He opened his mouth to speak, wiggled his jaw back and forth and closed his lips tightly with a snap as he pointedly looked away from you.

“You're not sick, you’re drunk.” He whispered with what you were sure was a hint of amusement in his voice, despite the serious expression he held there. He looked across his room at a dresser that stood there and you knew he wasn't suddenly interested in the decor of his bedroom. He was avoiding your eyes for a reason and your curiosity burned in your chest. The nervous fidgeting around you before he put you in his bed danced through your memory, hazy from the alcohol but definitely there. You were sure of it. The clock on the dresser told you it was not quite 5am. Part of you wanted to go back to sleep, but you wanted his warmth more than you wanted the rest.

“I was sick. And you left me all alone way over here on this side of the bed. What if I fell out?”

You watched his profile for signs that he was giving in to you and the clench in his jaw and side eye glance he stole wasn't something you dared to miss.

He breathed in a deep breath, exhaling it slowly through his nose and he bit down lightly against his bottom lip before he opened his mouth and turned to face you, having reached some sort of decision in his mind he was now looking at you head on and you watched his expression as you waited for him to speak.

“Y-You’re drunk, and I didn't know what would be okay, so I thought it was best if I just didn't touch you tonight--”

“I’m not drunk.” The indignation in your voice sounded exactly like something a drunk person would say and you tried to keep yourself from wincing as your own words played back in your head.

He bit down hard on his lip now, trying to hide the curve of his lips.

“I’m not!” You insisted and he looked away, lifting his hand to cover the smile he couldn't keep back.

“Okay..okay..you're not drunk.” He said quietly in the voice of an adult pacifying a petulant child having a fit and your eyes widened at his audacity. How could he think you were drunk? You'd slept it all off and after vomiting so much there wasn't any alcohol left in you.

“Give me a test! I’ll show you that I'm not drunk.”  
Your eyes were wide and you saw the smile that he pushed down off his face as he watched you curiously with a lifted eyebrow.

He didn't necessarily believe you right now, but seemed willing to give you a bit of his attention at least.

“If I win you have to cuddle with me. Sick people need cuddles. I can't believe you're so stingy.” You pouted as well as you could. Using his own usual mode of attack against him.

This got both of his eyebrows lifted and the look of surprise took over his features. Before he could respond you stood and forced your legs to remain steady and you began to take step after step in a straight line across his floor. The heel of one foot touching the toes of the other. Your arms were extended out and when you reached the point where he sat on the bed he could either duck or get hit by your arm. You were moving fast and he ducked with a small giggle. When he sat back up on the bed you were pivoting, quite impressively, you thought, for having just woken up and you were on your way back to where he sat watching you on his bed.

“What other drunk tests are there?” You stood directly in front of where his knees parted and you racked your brain trying to think of another one.

“Oh this one!” You felt a flare of excitement as you quickly extended your arms, reaching forward to touch the tip of your nose with the tip of your finger before repeating the motion with your other arm.

You saw him shift and he crossed his arms over his bare chest, making his muscles flex a bit as he moved and your eyes wandered as your arm movements slowed. You saw his biceps flex and pop and you missed your nose and touched your top lip instead.

You quickly tried to recover but his eyes were wide on you and he was pointing with one of his damn fingers at you now.

“Hah! You missed! You're totally still drunk!” You could hear a pompous victory in his voice that made you want to shut him up in an instant. You didn't miss your nose because you were drunk! It was his fault! Why wasn't he wearing a shirt?

His smile was smug and you frowned and furrowed your brows before you found yourself moving closer to where he sat on his bed, shirtless, self-satisfied smile on his pretty face and giving you a knowing look that was misplaced and unwarranted. He actually didn't know anything at all! It was all his fault.

You moved on him and pushed against those fit shoulders and you heard the surprise grunt that left his chest as he fell backwards onto the bed.

His eyes were wide and you climbed to sit on his abdomen, straddling him. You braced against his chest, feeling the steady thump thump thump under your fingertips and his cocky smile was gone in an instant as you lowered yourself down to his level.

His eyes moved rapidly over your face and the puff of breath again and again from his parted lips hit you, warm and steady against your lips as you moved closer to him.

“T-This kind of drunken misconduct isn't really convincing me--”

Your lips pressing firmly against his worked to silence the words he was about to say and he was frozen by your kiss. You felt the slightest purse of his lips against yours as he held back as best as he could. Where you sat over him you felt his warm skin below your own and you suddenly remembered that you only wore this one white t-shirt when he shifted and tended below you and you felt only his bare skin against your parted legs. He felt so warm. He felt firm and inviting and his abdomen rose and fell with his heavy breathing.

You slowly pulled up from the kiss.

His eyes were closed, brows furrowed with a slight tremble and restlessness in them and his lips parted when yours left his behind. You heard the trembling inhale before he pulled his top lip in between his teeth and bit down hard, pushing his bottom lip out into a little pout that seemed nearly compulsory for him.

His eyes stayed closed and there was a low moan of complaint that filled your ears before you saw his eyes shoot open and he looked up into your waiting eyes.

You'd done it. You'd shut him up. And now here you sat, an intimate familiarity with the smoothness of his skin that sat directly below your warmth and a look in his eyes that told you he was done playing with the drunk girl who occupied his bed.

He stared at you and you stared back and when he blinked much too slowly you felt it in your bones. His heavy eyelids coaxing you down to him. His eyes opened back up to watch your face again, not before they made a small stop down at your lips which he had just felt pressed up against his own moments earlier.

The pull back into your own eyes was too strong and he caved as he often did when you were concerned.

You saw the swallow before his lips were opening and he was speaking.

“Are you sure you aren't drunk anymore?”

Another slow blink and you nodded your head.

“Do you promise?” He was moving to hold his hand out in front of you, closed fist with his pinky raised high and you grabbed ahold with your own pinky as completed the childish gesture with him, touching your thumb with his as his eyes watched your face closely for signs of dishonesty.

“You wouldn't lie to me would you?” His voice was too low sounding and you had to work hard to keep the effect of him from your face. You shook your head for no.

His pinky finger was still holding tightly onto yours and you felt his fingertips running along your jaw slowly, tickling their way up to your cheekbone before his palm rested sweetly over your cheek. Your eyes closed with his touch. An overwhelming humming inside your chest making visual stimulation too much to bear and when his other hand pulled yours down you felt flat lips planting a tiny kiss over your closed fist.

“Look at me love.” His melodious voice called out in a faint whisper and your opened your eyes to find his own. They blinked too quickly, pooled moisture in their depths being quickly dispersed you saw the emotion on his face. In those eyes that begged for an audience with you.

He still held on to your hand and you relaxed your grip briefly. He shook his head a tiny amount and tightened his hold again, his pinky still gripping yours as his words began to move from his lips again.

“I-I have one more promise for you, don't let me go yet.”

You angled your face, leaning into his palm as you waited and his serious eyes fluttered.

“I'm going to do it right this time. I'll do better. I'll love you and I'll trust and respect you -- I'll do it right, all of it. I'll be the kind of man that you deserve. I promise.”

His promise had its own weight. The tremendous gravity of his words pulled so hard against your soul you found it difficult to keep upright. You watched the single tear of moisture leave the corner of his eye and run down his temple, disappearing into the hairline of bright red hair.

Your smile was genuine as were the tears you felt brimming in your own eyes and you nodded your head.

“Me too. I promise you too.” It was all you could eek out before you felt him moving fast. His weight was shifting and his arms moved around your back and you felt yourself rolling as you yelped out in surprise.

Your reality stabilized again and you were on your back. Dark eyes, red hair and pink lips with the smallest birthmark in the corner of his upper lip and he was on top of you, nestled between your bare thighs. You felt his overwhelming warmth threatening to consume you.

His eyes watching your lips and there was a smile. “You promise to be the _man_ I deserve?” No, it was a smirk.

His light teasing felt like home and the smirk softened into a sweet smile that soothed your soul.

Baekhyun, your love.

“Shut up and kiss me.” Your plea -- no,your order was clear and direct you watched his smile grow wider.

He leaned in close and you closed your eyes, anticipating his lips against yours finally… how long had it been since he'd kissed you? Too long. How had you even survived without his lips? The quick stolen kiss you'd just given him wasn't enough. That stupid drunken forced kiss was a stain on your memory, but his lips… you needed his lips.

When you felt the softness of them, they were not quite where you expected. You felt the puff of his breath and the moisture his lips left behind on your forehead and you cracked one eye open to see the smirk on his lips as he retreated.

He was watching you and you saw a teasing glint in his eye.

“No matter how much I think about it… I think you might still be drunk.” He shook his head at you and you stared with your mouth open, completely dumbfounded as he left his spot between your needy parted thighs and climbed back over the pillow barricade to the side of the bed he had been hiding from you all night.

“I-I passed the tests!” You complained loudly once you'd recovered from the intense blush you felt on your cheeks.

“You did not. I watched you fail right in front of me.” He lifted his hands exaggeratedly and touched his nose a few times before he missed and poked himself in the cheek, the mouth, his forehead. He was giggling and you tried to keep your laugh under control as you grabbed at the stupid pillows he'd used to separate you both with and threw them off the bed.

“I didn't fail because of the alcohol, it was all this!” You lifted your hand, palm up as you swept it slowly over his still naked torso as you made your way close to where he curled up on the bed.

He stopped laughing suddenly and you zipped your lips shut, regretting your words instantly.

“All this?” He motioned over his chest with his own hand in the same way as you had and you covered your face with both hands and shook your own head dramatically.

You felt his fingers prying your hands down from your face and his eyes looked so amused you wanted to die. His smile was back even though he was trying his hardest to rid himself of it.

You felt the bed shift and he moved closer to where you sat, half on your knees, half on your butt on the middle of the bed, his hands still holding yours tightly as his head dipped to stay in your line of sight.

“Do you find me distractingly sexy?”

Baekhyun was having entirely too much fun now and you lifted your chin to look at him as you blanked out your face, ridding yourself of that silly embarrassed grin that gave you away. Did he think he was the only one who could tease?

You stared at him and slowly arched your brow, before you narrowed your eyes at him and moved closer to where he laid on one elbow on the bed, enjoying the way his face changed before you. His smile fell and flattened out as his eyes flew around your face. You felt his fingers flex around your hands briefly before you heard the deep trembling breath he took and you saw the nervous way he swallowed.

“What’s the matter Oppa, do you find me distractingly sexy?” When you bit down on your lip and let it go his eyes tracked the movement and his eyes fluttered closed. You heard a groan from the back of his throat, he nodded his head a tiny bit and he was moving before his eyes opened back up. You felt his hands reach for your face and he was pulling you down into him.

Into his kiss --his soft lips. You let yourself fall into him. Into the softness and warmth of his mouth, his hands held you firmly in place and his lips parted, pulling yours into his open mouth. You felt his tongue sweep a path through your mouth and his kiss turned hungrier, more demanding. His hands were in your hair and you felt yourself melting into him, caving where he pulled and pleaded and begged as you felt your body responding immediately to his demands.

He pulled away with a gasp and you felt his forehead resting against your own. His heavy breathing matched your own and you felt the wetness on your lips that you couldn't be bothered with drying. The breaths from his lungs turned into soft whines and you felt the heat and goosebumps erupt all over your skin.

He was sitting up now and you felt him rolling you over, blinking those dark eyes slowly at you, you saw the overwhelming desire in them.

He moved to kiss your lips again, another deep wanting kiss that left you gasping and his hands were moving everywhere. You felt the warmth of his knee as he pushed your legs apart and he nestled himself over you, between your parted legs. The warmth you felt was overwhelming. You were naked beneath the shirt and the thin fabric of his boxers did little to insulate you from his heat -- from his hardness that he pressed between your legs. Urging you to feel him there.

“I tried--” He said quietly between kisses. “..so hard..”

“..to be good tonight--” You felt his lips against the skin of your neck and you felt his hands below the t-shirt you wore, running along the bare skin of your stomach, below the curve of your breasts. You arched your back upward, seeking his touch, craving his hands on your body. He lifted his head and found your eyes before he spoke again.

“but I don’t want to be good anymore--” His hands had stopped their exploration and he looked at you. He was asking. He was giving in and he wanted to be sure this was okay with you.

Your eyes roamed over his pretty face, moving downward to his firm chest, defined muscles that flexed as he held himself over your body. You wanted to touch him. You wanted to feel the smooth warmth under your fingertips and when you reached out for him, laying your palm flat over his waist, you ran your hand up higher and you smiled as your other hand felt him. You rested your other hand over his chest, where his heart thumped wildly below the surface and he watched you as you explored silently.

“I love you,” you whispered out and his eyes closed as he exhaled a breath and his lips pulled into a wide smile.

His lips were back on yours and he was moving, planting sweet delicate kisses around your face, your chin, your nose, your cheeks, your eyelids.

“That has to be the greatest sound in the world,” he whispered.

Your hands were moving lower, seeking something-- something that you knew would make you feel good, you needed him inside you. It had been too long for you and for him too and you pulled at the waistband of his boxers.

There was a low stuttered whine against your neck when you reached inside and grasped him, pulling out his hardness and his teeth bit down hard, sending a jolt of electricity through your bloodstream that made you gasp out loud. You stroked his length and his hips were pushing into your hand, urging the contact, the warmth, the touch.

You'd lost what little patience you had once you got ahold of him and with his hips moving you guided him to your entrance and he pushed inside in one fluid motion, gliding through your wetness with ease, you felt the stretch as he filled you and you cried out loud as he went completely still inside of you. As quickly as the loud sound left your lips you felt his hand move quickly to cover your mouth and you heard the trembling shushing sound in your ear as he tried his best to control his volume. He was moaning in a low whisper as he began to move and his hand stayed over your mouth as he pushed inside of you again and again, muting the cries you made.

When he moved his hand he replaced it with his mouth and you felt his tongue pushing inside of your mouth again and again, sloppy and needy. Alternating between sucking on your lip to biting down as his hips rolled into you.

One of you was trembling. It was probably both of you. Your mind was a haze as you became lost in the sensations of him. The smells of him, the taste of him, the feeling of him pushing deep inside of you again and again, his pace was quickening and you could feel the sheen of sweat on his skin that felt slick beneath your fingertips. The heat collecting between your bodies was stifling and addicting at the same time.

“I want to see you.” He suddenly lifted himself up on his ankles and the cool breeze, the absence of his body on top of yours was shocking. You felt his hands pulling your shirt up and he lifted it off your head as his eyes greedily took in your nakedness before him. His eyes were everywhere, wide and flowing over you with his hands that slipped down your body, squeezing and kneading on your breasts as he moved. His hips lifted and you angled your pelvis to reach up for him, enjoying the whine from his lips as your walls grazed against him when your movement pulled him out of you and pushed him in again.

“Fuck that feels good,” his eyes were closed and you did it again, rolling your hips up, feeling him slide out and brush against your walls. The sensation inside was bringing you near your edge and his hand flew up to cover his own mouth and quiet his moans. It didn't help much. He was too lost in the moment and you half paid attention to the sinful noises that filled the room.

“Fuck -- Fuck, you’re going to make me cum--”

You could hardly register his words as you felt yourself giving in to the trembling in your legs. You felt your own orgasm flooding your senses and you clenched hard around him, tensing up as your back arched and you cried out too loudly when the wave pulsed through your body and he dropped down as his eyes screwed shut and you felt the trembling in his limbs as he pushed in again and again, his own cries caught in his throat as he filled you with bursts of warm cum.

You felt his weight return and his lips were back, lazy and tender against yours with deep breaths and gasps in between. He was still inside you and you felt him slide out when he rolled to the side and he brought you with him when he rolled. His arms wrapped so tightly around you as his mouth refused to leave yours despite the heat and the mess on the bed and the deep gasping breaths both of you took, the kiss was desperate and needy still and you felt a wetness at his cheeks that echoed the vulnerability you felt in his embrace.

“Thank you for not giving up on me,” he whispered the centimeter of space between your bodies. “I was such a fucking idiot.”

You reached your hand up and held it against his face, wiping away the wetness from his eyes. “I love you--I love you,” he whispered again and again like a mantra and you closed your eyes, wrapped up in his arms, feeling the come down bring your heart rate and breathing back to normal, feeling the contentedness in your heart at having your love back.

He was yours.  
He was back and he was yours again and the sound of his heartbeat and steady breathing and his fingers over your skin and his lips against your lips were healing every ailment you had.

You must have drifted off to sleep because there was a loud buzzing sounding out against a wooden surface and you felt Baekhyun groan out over your head. You felt the cloud of sleep heavy over you and you struggled to open your eyes against it.

He was reaching over you to the nightstand where his phone sat and you heard him clear his throat briefly before he answered the phone, his own voice full and thick with sleep.

“Oh, Hi mom,” he said as he laid his head back down on the pillow. You moaned out in sleepy confusion and his eyes flew to you suddenly, a look of mild concern flashed across his face before the call pulled him back to the conversation.

“Yeah, I was still asleep.”

“No no, it's ok. We had an early Halloween party last night, so everyone is still asleep.” His voice was low, hushed and sweet. You had never heard him talking to his mom before and the sound of it warmed your heart.

“Hmm?” His eyes suddenly opened at whatever question his mom has asked him and you saw them widen as his cheeks turned slightly darker.

“Oh..umm...a-actually she--”

He seemed suddenly flustered and he sat up quickly on the bed, standing and reaching for his boxers from the bedding and pulling them up quickly covering himself.

You watched this curious behavior of his. Something his mom said had him flustered and he was stalling now.

“Yeah, m-my girlfriend came to the party too--” His eyes were closed now and he held his hand over his face as he spoke quietly on the line. Your eyes widened at him, not realizing that his mom knew you even existed.

“W-What do you mean why does my voice sound so nervous-- I don't sound nervous.” He definitely sounded nervous. His mom knew him well. He was nervous as he talked about you to his mom on the phone and she knew it. You realized she probably heard you in the beginning of the call and you frowned at you sleepy slip.

The sound of the woman's voice on the other end of the line grew louder and you watched him wince in response as he listened to what he was being told. After a long while he sighed and responded.

“She’s not--” His eyes were on you now, nearly begging for some solution to the crisis he was having and you could see the moment of resignation. His eyebrows fell, his hand dropped to his side and he sighed noisily into the line.

“She’s not awake yet.” The small confession that came from his lips sounded more like defeat than you'd ever heard from him and you closed your eyes, realizing what his mom suspected and what he had just admitted to. A panic was building inside you.

“Okay...I will--”

“I love you too.” It was the sign-off of a defeated man and he disconnected the call and dropped his phone from his ear.

“My mom wants to meet you.” He said after a long moment and you stared ahead into nothing as a weird feeling of dread mixed with nervousness coursed through your body.

His mom.

Byun Baekhyun’s mom.

THE Byun Baekhyun, golden boy, perfect son, successful idol singer and the greatest catch of the century, your boyfriend.

His mom wanted to meet you.

You felt...doomed.

“It’s going to be ok.” He said quietly as he sat down on the edge of the bed, looking down at the phone in his hands and nervously chewed on his bottom lip.

“It has to be okay.” He added mostly to himself.


	24. Chapter 24

“So you're telling me that your mom wants to meet me--”

Baekhyun sat at the end of his bed, clothed in only his boxers, the smooth skin of his back illuminated in the soft morning light from the window and his spine curved over himself as he stared down at the phone in his hands. You heard a small sigh from the end of the bed that he occupied in such an overwhelmingly lovely way and he turned his shoulders to look back at you.

He bit down on his lip and you caught the way he wrinkled his nose and nodded his head slowly.

“...and she knows I spent the night with you here last night?” You pulled the covers higher over your naked chest. You weren't sure where your shirt was anymore.  
  
His eyes lifted above your head, focusing somewhere high up somewhere on the wall behind you as he breathed in a deep steadying breath and he laid his hand over his bare chest.

“It seems like she suspects that.” His words were quiet and stilted. He was trying to be delicate about the topic despite the obviousness of it all.

“You--You told her I wasn't awake yet, doesn't that mean you confirmed it yourself?”

Baekhyun met your eyes for a second before he closed them and dropped his face.

“I haven't even met her yet and she already knows I'm spending the night with you, Oppa--w-what the f--”

“It’s okay, it'll be okay,” he repeated again as he stared ahead into his room, sounding more like he was speaking to himself than to you.

“W-What must she think of me?” You could hear the panic in your own voice and he swiftly turned his head to look at you. Your tone had set off the concern in his face and he lifted a hand in your direction.

“Hey --” he was moving and climbing up onto the bed next to where you sat hunched under his covers.

“Hey...I love you alright?”  
“So she's going to love you -- It'll be okay.”

You felt his arms wrap around you, smooth skin and warmth and he was moving the covers as he climbed under them next to you. His skin against yours was overwhelming in an instant. You still weren't wearing any clothes and he was dressed in only boxers, and now his strong arms wrapped around you tightly and he pulled you into himself.

Your mind hazed over and you closed your eyes, suddenly forgetting what had you so worried as his hands moved down your back. Your face was buried in his neck and when you inhaled a deep breath all you could smell was Baekhyun.

There was a pause in the movement of his hands on your back as you breathed in deeply against his neck. You lifted your chin and pursed your lips against the smooth skin in front of you, planting a small kiss against his collarbone, then higher against his neck and he was still for a moment. Long enough for your lips to open and your teeth to bite down against the sensitive skin he had there.

\--and you felt him move. There was a low groan from the back of his throat and he was shifting lower. You caught the look in his eyes as he moved and you recognized the look there. Eyelids half closed, pupils peeking out dark and brows furrowed. The rise and fall of his chest increased in pace and the split second before you closed your eyes you saw him descending and his eyes were on your mouth.

Then his mouth was on your mouth and his hands were moving again -- only rather than a soothing rub against your back he was gripping your ass roughly with his long fingers.

His lips, his teeth, his tongue, demanded from your own -- sucking and biting down against your lip before he moved, rolling you onto your back, he moved over your body and you felt the temperature under the covers rising too quickly.

He felt it too and he sat up, tossing the stuffy blankets off of his back, they fell onto the foot of the bed and when he dropped back down your legs parted for him. He moved into place naturally as if he was made just for you -- the thin fabric of his boxers, a flimsy barrier that separated his heat from yours and when he bucked his hips forward, pushing against your center he would have slid in easily had it not been for that flimsy fabric. He did it again and you whined and wrapped your legs tightly around his waist, pulling him into you, wanting to feel him inside of you already.

You heard a small chuckle from your neck, near your ear where his mouth had been nibbling and sucking a path down from your ear and you pulled your legs tighter around him.

“Why are you in such a hurry love? You can have me for the rest of my life if you want.”

Your thighs relaxed as the words registered warm against your brain and you ticked your head in the direction of where his face rested over your shoulder. You could make out his profile, his pretty mouth, his cute nose and his hooded eyes that held a bit of a smile in them. You felt the contact of his lips against your skin again and his strong arms that held his weight pushed him up.

You saw his face in front of yours, his eyes watching yours for a moment with a look that betrayed the love and adoration you knew he felt for you.

“--t-the rest of your life?”

You found your voice, small and hopeful, but it was there, filling the tiny space between your faces as he blinked slowly and watched your face too closely, memorizing every square inch, every dip, every mark, every single bit that was you.

His mind registered your tiny question and he nodded his head, closing his eyes mid nod.

“Mhmm...I’m yours -- for good.”

It felt significant. His words -- they felt real and profound --

And right.

Everything that was right and correct and good and undeniable was contained in those words and you didn't even try and fight the smile that took over your face.

His eyes tracked your smile and his lips returned it. Bright and wide in response.

“Does it feel that good?” He said with a little wrinkle of his nose and a small head shake.

“Mhmm” you hummed and he was back. His lips and his kisses moving lower, down your neck to your chest, and his hips pressing again into you, between your legs where he fit perfectly.

“What do you mean though--- when you say for life?” There was a strange sensation building in your chest. Something that took the love you felt and bloomed it into a sort of hopeful anticipation.

He lifted his face to look at you and you saw the pinkness in his cheeks. His lips pulled into a small sweet smile.

“Whatever you want it to mean...as much, or as little … as you want it to mean--”

“--I know that you are young and your life is just beginning...but when I say that you can have me for the rest of my life, I mean just that. Whatever you want, whenever you want it, I'll be here. And I'll be yours.”

You felt that hope flood through your chest, fully blooming into so much love and adoration for this man who'd just promised you everything-- and at whatever time period you were comfortable with-- his promise was heavy and it sat against your chest, enveloping you in so much peace and gratitude, you wondered how you'd ever top this feeling again in your lifetime.

His mouth was moving again, trailing kisses along your skin again as if he hadn't just floored you with his profoundly life-changing words.

“How much time before you have to leave?” You asked over his head. You felt the ticking clock that hung on the wall across the room, spelling out the limited time you had to spend with him today. Your eyes and mind lingered on the moving hands and you were abruptly brought back into the intimate space of his bed by his exploring mouth.

You arched your back as his lips opened up and grabbed a nipple into his mouth, he sucked hard and you felt the flesh slip through his tightened lips. The action sent a jolt through you and you couldn't help the moan you let out.

“Enough,” he said darkly and he was moving lower. You giggled when his tongue trailed down your ribs, tickling with his lips over your navel. You felt his hands grip your hips and he pulled against your thighs in opposite directions, opening your legs up as he moved, you gasped when you felt his teeth bite down on your inner thigh.

“Shhh…” he said playfully after biting down and sucking particularly hard against your skin, up high so close to your folds. You couldn't help the sound you made and you were sure you’d find a bruise there. His lips puckered over the same spot he had just marked with his mouth and you felt his lips kissing a path, higher up your inner thigh.

You felt goosebumps over your skin and a tingling along your thighs that radiated up right between your legs and his hands moved under your thighs, around your ass, hot hands running along your skin and delicate fingers tickling their way up higher along your waist you felt his shoulders rest just below your thighs and you looked down to see the top of his head buried between your parted legs. His eyes glanced up at you, hooded lids, dark pupils and a sinful look that send a fresh wave of arousal down your body.

His eyes watched your face as he stuck his tongue out, licking path up your core, adding to the incredible wetness you already had between your legs.

You felt your own breathing too fast, your body responding to the feeling of his tongue against you and when he opened his mouth wide over your mound and dipped the tip of his tongue in between to brush against your clit, you moaned out in appreciation. You felt his fingers grip hard into the flesh of your waist, along your belly and you assumed it was a warning to keep your voice down.

You closed your eyes and your mouth tightly and his mouth sucked harder against your clit, making your mouth fly open again as you arched your back into the air, pushing your hips into him. You cried out again, too loudly, uncontrolled and suddenly without any care for his rules out being quiet.

And his mouth was gone.

You felt his hands leave your body and your hips fell back onto the bed, off of his shoulders that had been holding you up into him and he was no longer touching you anywhere.

Your breathing was labored and your promising fleeting orgasm faded and vanished as you slowly parted your eyelids you saw movement.

Baekhyun was a blur of motion and he was quickly pushing his boxers down, his hard dick sprung up and bounced against his belly, along the happy trail of dark hair that descended from just below his navel and he was moving.

His eyes were hard on yours and there was a look in them that felt nearly admonishing.

He settled himself over you, just out of reach of your needy thighs and gravity pulled him down -- the temptation was overwhelming, your hips you could wrap tightly around him, pulling him inside you, he was probably lined up perfectly already -- but you didn't move.

Something in his eyes made you pause.

His lips, pink and still wet from your moisture were moving and you looked back up into his eyes as he began to speak.

“I told you to be quiet, but I'm sure everyone already heard you.”

You pulled your upper lip in between your teeth and bit down, letting your bottom lip pout out and his eyes glanced down at your mouth as he breathed hard through his own.

“I-I--” was all you could manage when you felt his hips dip and the head of his cock slipped in between your legs, you felt him brush against your already sensitive clit and you couldn't keep the burdening eye contact up any longer and you closed your eyes, giving in to the feeling of him between your legs.

“Do you want them all to hear you cum?” His mouth was at your ear, his voice low and dangerous, and you whined when his teeth bit down hard against your neck. The cool air of the room blew across your skin, chilling the wetness his mouth left behind.

“Do you want everyone to know what I’m doing to you in here?”  
  
He bucked his hips and you felt him at your entrance, you felt the need, the desperation to have him fill you and you lifted your ass, angling your hips so he could slip inside with ease, urging him to give in and do it.

“P-Please, I need you to--” you ignored the desperation you heard in your own voice, the obvious weakness you felt in his arms as you begged him to just fuck you already and the weight of his body over your chest left.

He sat up on his ankles slowly, his hands running down your shoulders, over your breasts, down lower over your lower belly and you felt your own legs pushed open further by his roaming hands.

He sat between your legs and gripped a hand around his cock with his eyes down between your legs, his other hand resting over your belly, his thumb near your mound and you felt him slipping himself around within your wetness, sliding over your clit again and again with the head of his cock as he watched your breathing increase with each pass.

“What do you need me to do baby?” He was teasing, he was enjoying it and you felt his head at your entrance as he slipped inside quickly before pulling back out.

“Fuck--you’re so wet” you heard him whisper and his thumb pressed against your clit, wiggling his digit back and forth, watching you writhe on the bed below him.

He moved his hand from between your legs up to your breasts and you felt him spread the wetness over your nipple as he squeezed down hard. The jolt of pain coursed through you, instantly replaced with pleasure as the sensation throbbed inside you, making your nipples harden and yearn for more.

His hand was back between your legs and you lifted your legs to wrap around his waist, you needed him inside you.

But he was stronger than you, even stronger than your needy thighs, he held his ground and you felt the pressure of his fingers as he lightly pinched your clit, making you whimper. Instantly he was rubbing again and the slight pain brought on a budding peak that was quickly overtaking your senses.

“F-Fuck--” your voice wasn't working right at this point and you felt like you might drown in the wave that was threatening to overtake you.

“Do you like --” you heard him speaking again, and you felt his hands at your nipple, he was pinching again, rubbing the moisture around, harder this time.

“--when it hurts a little?”

Your eyebrows screwed together as the wave threatened again as you registered his question, you nodded your head and you felt him push himself quickly inside fully, roughly, you felt the bed shift and the headboard banged against the wall. You cried out at the sudden intrusion and he slammed against you again, hitting inside hard, his hand still teasing against your clit with purpose. He wanted you to cum, he wanted to feel you cum with him inside you and you were powerless to control it at this point. The roughness, the pounding again and again, the pain, the pleasure, culminated into a feeling of euphoria as you gave into it, you felt your legs tighten and tremble and you gasped in a shuddering breath, holding it as your body tensed and you squeezed around him hard.

You felt a pause in the motions of his hips and he groaned and whined noisily as you came around him. A low grunt from his throat that sounded familiar -- he couldn't hold back any longer -- he was pushed in deep when you felt the spasms inside you and he was cumming as your insides pulsed and twitched with your own fading orgasm.

He fell down onto the bed with a grunt, giving in to gravity you felt him slide out of you, spilling a mess down onto his bedsheets and over your thighs.

His arms constricted, pulling you into his chest, wrapping tightly around your shoulders and you felt him nuzzle into to top of your head as his labored breathing slowly evened back out at a pace that matched your own.

There was a buzz and you caught sight of your phone lighting up on the night stand near where his had been before his phone call that woke you both up earlier.

You reached for it at the same time as he did and his slightly longer arm gripped it and placed the small device inside your hand.

You had a text message.

\--from Chanyeol and the calm after sex quickly faded and changed as you felt the blood rushing up to your face when you read the words that displayed so clearly across your screen.

_”Congratulations on getting your boyfriend back, but perhaps next time you could turn on some music or something?? :| ”_

The longer you stared at your screen the more humiliation you felt and you nearly dropped it when you felt a second buzz.

_”Breakfast is ready. Why don't you both come join us. I left your bag at the door.”_

A stifled giggling from your shoulder pulled your attention to Baekhyun who covered his face with both of his hands, he'd obviously read the messages over your shoulder and when his eyes peeked through his parted fingertips he was blushing just as you were.

Unlike your horrified face, his held some amusement there and he quickly tried to stop his laughing.

“I'm trying not to say _I told you so_ \--”

“--but at least I'm not the first one to be caught in this situation...all these guys living together under one roof...there's always someone getting lucky here.”

  
\----------------------------------------------------------

The library was packed with students hunched over textbooks as you made your way down the aisles and rows. Some with laptops out, others with calculators and notes...everyone was busy trying to review as much information as possible before the final exams that would determine final course grades.

You felt your phone buzz in your pocket, tickling your thigh and you pulled it out to see the message from your classmate,Youngshik. The friend who shared two classes with you and who you agreed to study with tonight, comparing notes and going over formulas and theories for the exam in two days.

You were sure your brain was stuffed full with so much information at this point you doubted any more could possibly fit, but Youngshik had insisted that he absolutely had to see your notes and compare his own for the test. You figured one more review couldn't possibly hurt and you had a couple of theories you wanted to get his ideas about.

The text was from him and you smiled to learn that he'd scored a much desired private study room at the end of the library.

You caught sight of Youngshik in the tiny window that sat up high on the door. You could see an impressive spread of open text books set out in front of him and notebooks containing what you assumed were his notes. His head shot up quickly when you entered the room and you were surprised to see him stand to meet you at the other side of the table upon your entrance.

His appearance was different this time. You noticed his hair was styled up off his forehead and his clothes seemed neat and well put together. You half wonder if he had come from some other event, or if maybe he had a big date after this. If you were being honest with yourself, he looked handsome and even boyfriend material with this look he sported now.

Your brief deductions about his choice of outfit for a simple study session were put to an end when you felt his arm wrap around your shoulder and you stiffened at the unexpected contact. He patted your back quickly, twice and dropped his hand, leaving you perplexed at the odd greeting. Nothing in your history with Youngshik had made you expect such a friendly greeting, but you quickly shook your head away from the awkwardness you felt coursing through your body.

“It is great to see you,” his wide pretty smile illuminated his face and you tried your best to keep your smile sweet and not at all betray any bit of the oddness you felt at his sudden, overly friendly behavior.

You had no reason to be awkward with him, he was, afterall a friend all semester long and having worked closely with him on a couple of assignments, plus the big project, you did actually get along very well with him.

This did not have to be weird, just because he was a guy.  
You were capable of having male friends. There was nothing in any sort of rule book that said this had to be weird.

After about an hour and a half of reviewing notes and going over course materials for both exams in the classes you shared with him, you fell back into it. The comfort and easy way he spoke to you that always elicited laughter and enjoyment and you found him easy to get along with again, easy to joke with, such a smart and effective study partner that you jumped in surprise to see your cell phone light up on the table in front of you. To your surprise you had three text messages waiting that you must have simply missed, and the buzzing of your phone was constant now, letting you know that you were getting a phone call.

Your cell phone read Curry & Chocolate -- it was Baekhyun and you winced at the probability that the missed text messages were from him.

You quickly answered the ringing phone, mouthing an apology to Youngshik who was in the middle of a sentence. His mouth snapped shut and his face was blank.

“Oppa, hi -- I was just studying with a friend.”  
You were quick with any explanation of your absence just in case he was the one who had been texting you.

“Ahh -- is what what you’re doing. Do you need me to let you go Baby?”

“No, I can talk for a minute--”

Youngshik was looking down at his own cell phone and you noticed the way he bit down on his lip, chewing roughly at the chapped skin there. You hoped you weren't being too rude.

You pulled the phone away from your mouth and turned to Youngshik.

“Youngshik, we can take a quick break okay?” Your classmate nodded with a tense smile.

“Yeah sure, I need to use the restroom anyway.”

You nodded as he rose and left the room, leaving the door of the study room open as he left.

“Is this the same friend from the bus? From that day we had lunch together at that terrible place?”

“You mean dry soup and salty noodles of death? Yeah that’s him.”

Beakhyun cleared his throat on the line and you listened for signs of his old patterns of irrational jealousy making their appearance but he was silent for a while.

“I miss you, I thought you’d be in my room when I got home from practice.” The subject change was swift and you let him have it. Although the pout in his voice was thick. You wondered how much of it was caused by your absence and how much was caused by your current company.

“Aww, I told you I had to study. I have a final in two days and it helps to study with a classmate who took the same classes.”

“Is he in all the same classes as you?” The pout had subsided some but you were sure if you were looking at him in person it would still be there. You heard the sound of the rolling wheels of his desk chair that sat in the far corner of his room and you could picture him-- hair still sweaty from practice, face flushed and eyes tired from the long days he always kept.

“Just two….” Your voice dropped. “Oppa--”

“Hmm?”

“Check your top desk drawer...I left you something.”

You heard a cute sound from his throat, a questioning hum and you heard movement on the line before he let out a tiny gasp as he found your gift.

“The puppy from your bed!” He exclaimed in an excited voice, a whole octave higher than the tired voice he had been speaking in earlier and you giggled at his enthusiasm.

“His name is Gregory and he's been instructed to keep you company until my finals are over.”

“But he's a boy and he’s nowhere near as sexy as you are.” Baekhyun’s whining was playful and you heard a soft moan from him as he inhaled a deep breath.

“Ahhh, he smells like you. This might just work.”

“Don’t do anything weird to him.” You were teasing now, enjoying his reaction to your little gift.

The line went silent for a moment and you suppressed the laughter that threatened to burst from your lips.

“Define weird.” He replied after much too long of a pause and you couldn't hold back your giggles.

“Like...how is he with nudity? Is he too young to watch porn with me?”

“Oppa” you whined through your laughter and you heard him giggling on the line.

“Okay okay, I’ll keep it PG-13. I’ll save the dirty videos for when you’re back.”

“Thank you.” Your smile was wide and genuine.

You caught movement at the door and you looked up to see a familiar face that did not belong to Youngshik. Your smile dropped as you recognized the pretty face of the blonde nurse from the halloween party the other night. She stood at the door of the study room and her eyes caught yours as she crossed her arms over her chest and seemed to be waiting for your attention.

“I’ll talk to you later, Oppa.” Your voice sounded clipped and you heard the pause in his laughter as he recognized the change.

“Okay, I’ll let you get back to work. I love you.” His voice held a familiar sweetness

“I love you too.”

A glance down at your cell phone as you set it down on the table was all it took and she was coming inside the room, invading your space that had been so peaceful and pleasant mere seconds before. Her steps were large and her stance was tall and defensive. How in the world had she found you and what could she possibly have to say to you now?

“Can I help you with something?” You tried. You really tried. But there was a defense in your voice that you couldn't hide no matter how much effort you put forth.

“I thought that might be you. You're the hot dog right? From the party? You're Baek’s girl?”

Her voice was calm and careful and you noticed the way her arms covered her chest seemed more scared than anything threatening. You caught the way her eyes blinked rapidly and the way they fell down to her feet every other word, not quite able to keep up her eye contact with you now that she had actually initiated this conversation.

“I’m not s-sure if you remember me but I’m--”

“Rina. I remember you quite well.” You cut her words off, unable to help yourself.

Everything in you tried to keep your own hostility towards this girl in check but your tongue was protesting now. You wanted her out of the room and out of your life forever. You definitely didn't have any sort of allegiance to her, or any desire to put up with any bullshit she might decide to throw your way.

“Actually I was going to say I’m sorry.”

This -- you hadn't expected.

And it shut you up instantly, causing you to reel back into yourself and take a second look at the girl in front of you. Her limp hair, her minimal makeup and plain outfit that hid the sexy curves you knew she had under the layers. She took a deep steadying breath that seemed to work to get her words back on track and she began speaking again.

“I-I was...an asshole that night. To both of you. I mean he didn't deserve that and even though it was just a rumor that he had a girlfriend, it was disrespectful of me to do that, whether or not you existed for real. I’m just...I wanted to apologize. Sincerely, I mean it, I’m sorry for the trouble I caused.”

You looked down at your own feet now, processing her words. You caught a slight movement from her hands and she was lightly running her hands over the cover of your closed notebook.

You heard a small laugh from her chest.

“I like your notebook… _Supernatural_ right? I'm a fan of the show too.”

You heard a throat being cleared behind where Rina stood and she stepped aside at the new addition to the room.

Youngshik was back, looking between you and Rina with an innocent curiosity in his eyes. His smile was back, sweet and inviting and you smiled a tense smile at your friend.

“Well, I guess I should let you get back to your work. Thanks for hearing me out.”

Rina was leaving the room quickly and Youngshik stepped aside to let her pass.

“Friend of yours?” His voice was curious, yet not demanding, as he took his seat in front of his open books again.

“Not really...just another pretty girl.” You admitted, not at all wanting to get into details, yet feeling somewhat obligated to talk. You still felt quite bitter about your experience with the sexy girls that fluttered around the man you loved, vying for his attention and affections at all times.

It was stupid. Of course you knew it was.  
But something about her beauty struck you the wrong way. You wrinkled your nose at your own insecurities.

“You're prettier.” Youngshik comment made you turn to look at him in surprise. You stared at him a moment, catching the way he blinked rapidly and looked down at his own book, refusing to meet your eyes after the words he had spoken.

“I mean--” was he backtracking now? You heard a tremble in his throat as he spoke and the pencil he held in his hands fell out of his grip and landed with a clatter on the tile floor below the table.

He quickly bent down to pick it up and he was mumbling again as he rose back to his seat.

“I mean, you probably already know h-how I feel… so..”

How he felt?

How did he feel?

What was he talking about?

“How you feel?” You said it quietly, your voice full of cautious apprehension and he closed his eyes and inhaled a deep breath that he exhaled through his nose. His jaw was clenched down hard.

“I--” he began and stopped speaking as quickly as he had started. His words refusing to leave his lips. Refusing to cooperate with him now.

There was a sigh. A small laugh of defeat and the pink in his cheeks was telling.

“I should probably get going...I’ve got some other tests to study for.” His voice was quiet but his surrender was loud. He was dropping it now and he was running.

And you let him.

You gathered your belongings and made your way to the bus stop near campus that would take you home. You were early and you decided you’d give your boyfriend a call and listen to his voice, or his singing in your ear for a while before you called it a night.

Your shower relaxed you and your bed beckoned but your desire to hear his voice was stronger than your sleepiness. The ringing in your ear lasted only a few seconds before you heard the low timbre of his night time voice. Had he been sleeping?

“Did I wake you?”

You heard him clear his throat and moan into the line, clearly you had woken him up. You'd done it enough in the past to know the sound of it by now.

“No, but you woke Gregory. He’s a very light sleeper. He’s giving me a grumpy look right now.”

“Does he miss me?”

“More than you'll ever know. I heard him crying himself to sleep. What a big baby.”

You smiled at the sweetness of his voice and listened to the groans he made as woke up from the sleep he was in.

You heard what sounded like a groan of protest from him now.

“What's wrong?”

“You know when you do the same thing over and over all day and you close your eyes your brain keeps doing it? I'm dancing….in my mind … the steps again and again. It won't stop.”

You felt bad for waking him. He was exhausted and needed his sleep.

“I'm sorry I woke you baby. I'll let you and Gregory go back to sleep.”

“No-- No…. I can't now…I have to get rid of the dancing. Distract me. Talk to me... tell me something boring. What were you studying today love? That will put me back to sleep.” His words, while sleepy, could still sound teasing and you got up from your bed to open your backpack for your notes. The least you could do was bore him to sleep with talk of formulas and theories.

You found your notebook from today. The one with Castiel, your favorite character from _Supernatural_ on the cover and flipped to the middle. You felt a small slip of paper slide out from under the front cover and you grabbed it as you flipped to the section with the mindless formulas.

“Okay are you ready? This is really really boring stuff.”

You looked at the small paper you'd just grabbed and realized that it wasn't familiar. It was folded onto itself and you could make out writing inside.

You unfolded the small piece of paper and you froze.

“Do your worst baby,” Baekhyun said and you felt your hands trembling as you read the words written inside the small piece of paper that had just fallen out of your notebook.

You felt sick and you couldn't speak.

_”I know who your boyfriend is. End it NOW or his career is over for good. I have pictures and a buyer.”_

“Baby?” You could hear Baekhyun calling you, having noticed your sudden silence. Written at the bottom of the single threat were three words that told you the sender of this note couldn't be bluffing.

_”WE ARE ONE”_


	25. Chapter 25

_”I know who your boyfriend is. End it NOW or his career is over for good. I have pictures and a buyer.”_

_”WE ARE ONE”_

Your hands were trembling as the small piece of paper rattled in your grip and you could hear Baekhyun calling your name over the phone. His tone grew more and more alert the longer you remained silent until you forced your throat to make a sound to let him know you had not disconnected the call.  
  
“Where did you go? I thought the call got dropped.” Baekhyun whined sleepily into your ear and you swallowed away the dryness in the back of your throat.

“B-Baekhyun someone--” you could hear the nervousness in your own voice and his whining stopped as he listened to your voice for a moment.

“I-I found something that someone put inside my notebook Oppa-- its -- oh God, its bad, someone knows about y-you and me.”

There was a rustling sound on the other end of the line and you wondered if it was just the sound of him sitting up in his bed or if he was moving around.

“What is it?” His voice was louder, harsher. The playful sweet tone long gone and with his serious tone you knew the seriousness of situation immediately.

“I-It’s a note...a threat to ruin your career if I dont b-break up with you.”

You heard a low grown from the back of his throat. The sound he made when words failed and his frustrations won out. Your lip was aching from how hard you were biting down on it and you could feel your emotions building inside your chest, threatening to overcome your thoughts.

“I’m sorry, maybe I was c-careless, or maybe someone saw something..” your memory was scrambling now as you tried to pinpoint a moment when the two of you were together out in public -- where someone might have seen something, but you came up blank.

“No. This isn't your fault. This will never be your fault. This is me. This is on me--” you stared at your bedroom wall across the room as you heard him speaking in a forced calm tone into your ear.

“Baby, can you do something for me?” The sweetness in his voice was back and your lip trembled when you heard it. You sniffled a small bit to try and control your reaction and you whispered your words into the phone.

“W-what are we going to do?” You felt useless and small with your question.

“Baby I want you to listen to me and do exactly as I’m telling you okay? Can you do that for me love?”

“What--what if something happens because of me?”

“Nothing's going to happen. It's going to be okay. I know you’re upset, I can hear it in your voice, but just listen to me and do as I say and I promise you, it'll be okay. Do you trust me? Do you trust Oppa?”

His voice was so steady and strong as he spoke in your ear that you felt the power of it wash over you--a wave of soothing relief blanketed over you as he promised that nothing bad would come to him, nothing bad would come onto you as a result of this threat and you wanted with everything in your being to believe him. Because you did trust him. You trusted and you loved him. This was an unfamiliar situation for you, but perhaps he was right. Perhaps if you just did as he asked this would simply go away.

“Yes, I trust you.” You finally spoke after a moment of thought and you heard the sigh from his lips.

“Good girl,” he smiled with his words and you let out the tiniest chuckle as he very obviously praised you like a child.

“Okay I want you to put the note back inside the notebook exactly where you found it, and close it. Don't touch the note anymore, and don't touch the notebook any more than you absolutely have to.”

His instructions were steady, and serious sounding and you found your hands moving lightly to place the note back inside the top cover and you lightly touched the corner with the tip of your finger to close the notebook again. You then grabbed a tissue from the box of your night stand and used it to grab the book as you waited for his further instructions.

There was the sound of too much movement on the end of his line and you knew he was no longer in his bed. You could hear a hum--a sort of rumble and when you heard the steady ticking of his turn signal you realized he was driving. Completely exhausted and in the middle of the night, Baekhyun was out driving his car somewhere because of you.

“Baby I need to make a quick phone call on my other phone can you give me a minute? Don't hang up okay?” The sound of his car grew muffled and you heard his voice as he spoke. You could register only every other word he spoke but his voice sounded all business and he was talking fast.

Before you knew it, he was back on the line and his voice was issuing out new orders for you to follow. You were to put your notebook back inside your bag, get dressed and head downstairs toward the back of the alley that lined the dry cleaner to the building behind it.

The entire time you were getting ready, he stayed on the line with you asking questions about what you had been doing with the notebook today, and with who you had been with.

“So you studied with what’s-his-name--”

“Youngshik” you supplied, well into mode of an investigator now rather than a panicking victim of a threat as you had been when you first found the note.

You heard a long sigh from Baekhyun at the mention of your classmate’s name.

“--and then I called you and what's-his-name left for the restroom. Right?”

You could only shake your head that Baekhyun still had the capacity to be petty even in times like this.

“Yes, and while I was on the phone with you--” you agreed, trying to move past the chain of events that you had already been over with him twice now.

“--and I was super charming and funny and I made your heart flutter--” Baekhyun added to your narrative, you chuckled as you continued your version of the events that happened today.

“And then Rina showed up all of a sudden with her stupid face.. and she was touching my notebook.”

You weren’t above being a little petty as well and you heard him let out a thoughtful hum in response.

“No matter how many times I look at this I think it was him.” Baekhyun finally said and you tried not to roll your eyes that he would nearly instantly blame Youngshik when Rina was the only one you saw actually touch the notebook .

“Well … I think it was her.” You said with the challenge thick in your voice.

“What possible motivation would Youngshik have to do this?” You tried not to sound defensive but Youngshik had been nothing but helpful towards you this year, and you entire conversation in the library had never once strayed from class work.

“Well he _likes_ you, for one.” Baekhyun’s voice dropped an octave and his tone took on a condescending sound as it he was explaining something completely obvious to a dimwitted toddler.

“Oh, and Rina doesn't like you?”

“Has he asked you out already? Be honest with me because I saw the way he was looking at you that day after you both got off the bus.”

“That's irrelevant...I told him I had a boyfriend and he dropped it instantly. Besides didn't she offer to give you a blow job during a crowded Halloween costume party?”

“Ahhh so he did ask you out! I knew it. This was him. He must have followed you that day and figured out who you were dating...  
This asshole -- Give me about fifteen minutes alone in a room with him -- that's all I need.”

Something had sparked inside Baekhyun and you could practically see the machismo radiating through your cell phone as he sneered his words. You knew he wouldn't drop his main suspect anytime soon. But that didn't matter because you were sure Rina was behind this.

“What did the note say again? ‘Break up with him or else’ right? That doesn't sound like Rina..she'd ask for money… what would us being apart help her? She knows I wouldn't fucking touch her.

Rina would go for the money and even then Rina is…. too smart for that. She's greedy and she's a bit of a slut but she knows what she can get away with. She also knows that SM has deep fucking pockets and that this multi-million dollar group has some big scary lawyers behind it that will rip her to shreds if she so much as thinks about blackmailing a member for anything--”

You had to admit, investigator Baekhyun had a little bit of a point. You also had to admit how sexy and cool he sounded right now as he worked out the clues out loud. And he didn't seem like he was done figuring out his puzzle.

There was an audible scoff that sounded through the line as you carried your shoes, grabbed your backpack and began tiptoeing your way through your home with Baekhyun chattering along in your ear.

“--’break up with him’...no, no.. you see that part right there, that's not for me. That's about you. The person behind this is after you. They want us apart not because I'm famous, but it's some attempt to get at my _very sexy girlfriend_.” His voice dipped lowly and you wished he could see you rolling your eyes right now.

“It's stupid, it's not very well thought out-- there's not even a hint of the alleged pictures they have or anything. There's a definite dick behind this. Trust me...I have one…I know the kinda shit men pull when they're thinking with their dicks. And I think that the person attached to this dick in particular is--” his voice had risen steadily the more sure he became of himself and was practically shouting now.

“Shh, you're too loud,” you whispered. “I'm trying to sneak out of my house.”

“--what's-his-name..” Baekhyun's voice dropped down to a quiet growl as he named his prime suspect again.

“If not him, then it might be a crazy fan of course...we have our fair share of those, believe me.” He added in a flippant chipper tone that didn't at all fit the gravity of the situation.

Your shoes were on and you were out through the side door silently and seamlessly without being caught by your sleeping parents.

The night air in the alley was chilly and you zipped up your jacket and pulled your hood down tight around your face as you gasped and shivered into your phone.

“It's cold out, are you dressed warmly?” Baekhyun nervously fluttered through your ear and you hummed on the line as you controlled the shivering in your voice so he wouldn't worry.

The alley was deserted and you made your way down the way to the building attached to the back of the dry cleaners building where your eyes searched for any signs of Baekhyun’s car.

“I don't see you Oppa, where are you?”

“What color is your coat?” He asked quietly.

“Red.”

As you walked along the street you passed parked car after parked car, all dark and quiet when across the street you saw a flash and heard an engine that caught your eye. An unfamiliar car that did not belong to your boyfriend parked down the block came to life and was moving in your direction. You froze on the spot as the car pulled up in front of you, stopped quickly and the passenger door swung open.

You looked into the eyes of a woman you had never seen before and she was moving around you, reaching for your backpack and opening the door for the backseat and trying to rush you inside.

Your nerves were heightened and you found your legs stubbornly refusing to budge as you stared into the eyes of the, rather young looking intimidating foreign woman who stood before you, dressed in important looking business attire. A glance at her waist revealed what you were positive was a weapon of some type and your heart was in your throat as you felt her take your backpack roughly and toss it into the open door of the car.

“I'm sorry we must skip our introductions but Mr. Byun has instructed me to retrieve you safely and bring you to a secure location--”

She was speaking fast and her accent was heavy. A sense of urgency in her voice and you could see her eyes darting around the deserted street looking for any signs of company.

“Oh umm… he said the password is _hot dog_. So please hurry and get in the car.”

“ _Baby? Baby??_ ” You could hear the distant sounds of his voice and you realized that you had dropped your phone during your surprise. It laid at your feet on the sidewalk, illuminated and calling to you in his voice.

You quickly reached down to grab it as the woman watched you expectantly.

“Umm, yeah sorry Baekhyun, I'm here. I just dropped my phone.”

“Is Hilda there? Did you get in safely? Nobody saw or followed you?”

“Hello?? Hot dog! Hot dog! Am I saying it wrong? You should get in already! This place is not safe.”

Hilda was losing her patience and you felt her move behind you to give you a shove.

You fell forward into the car with a humph and the door slammed behind you.

“Why didn't you come get me? This woman is… unexpected.”

You saw her sitting in the passenger seat and she didn't give any indication that she may be listening to your conversation… still you didn't want to risk offending her when she was armed and so scary.

“Ahhh Hilda?” You heard Baekhyun giggling on the line. “She's cool isn't she? She's the only woman on that security firm and I thought it might be better for her to pick you up instead of one of the guys. She's so serious too. Do you know she’s never laughed at my jokes? Not even once?”

Baekhyun continued to ramble in your ear as the car made its way down darkened city streets and you began to wonder where you were being taken when an abrupt turn from the driver had you nearly flying across the slippery leather. A grunt as you regained your balance sounded out and you caught the dim lighting of an enclosed parking garage through the heavily tinted windows of the car.

This definitely wasn't the dorm. You didn't recognize the garage at all and you could barely make out parked vehicles in large spaces that flew by your window. The driver turned again, rising up level after level until the lighting of the garage disappeared and you caught the view of the open night sky.

When the car finally stopped moving you grabbed ahold of your backpack and gripped it tightly as the door was opened and Hilda waited for you to exit the vehicle. She now had a large black bag slung over her shoulder. The driver of the car remained seated in the driver's seat, buckled and ready to drive away. It appeared only you and Hilda would be exiting here.

“Baekhyun, where am I being taken?” You couldn't suppress the apprehension you felt all over as you stepped out of the mysterious car onto the rooftop of a parking garage that seemed to be attached to an unnamed city building.

“Are you on the roof already? It sounds like the car stopped moving. Don't worry, I'm here already, I'll see you inside okay?” His voice was sweet and reassuring and you heard him hang up the call. The phone went silent and you shoved it deep into your jacket pocket. Your eyes looked around at the few cars parked in various spaces and recognition hit you four spaces down where you saw his car. The sleek expensive design of the tail lights fit in with all of the other foreign cars and you half wondered where in the world he had brought you.

You smiled to yourself and loosened the grip on your bag, amazed that just the sight of his car could bring you so much peace and comfort.

Inside the building there was a grand lobby and a curiously awake doorman who gave access to a tastefully decorated hallway lined with doors on one side and elevators on the other.

You had no idea where you were, and you had no choice but to trust your boyfriend and follow the silent woman who swiftly walked three steps ahead of you.

The elevator ride was unbearably silent and you hardly felt the assent and the stop before the doors were opening and Hilda was walking fast again.

Down the hallway marked with a simple number 7 on the walls your eyes searched and you heard a noise ahead of you.

Someone had opened a door and you saw a familiar sight. The top of Baekhyun's head as he peeked his head around the parted door. You could only see the light brown of his fluffy hair and one of his eyes as he watched you coming down the hallway and you giggled to yourself at his attempt at _discretion_. He was a terrible spy.

“Mr. Byun we can see you.” Hilda spoke the obvious in her heavy accent and you let out a small chuckle when his head instantly disappeared behind the door frame and the door clicked shut behind him.

In front of the door you heard an exasperated sigh from the woman who raised her hand to knock twice without a hint of amusement on her face and you stared at the door for much too long before he finally pulled it open.

“Oh Hilda, you're here!” His chipper friendly voice called out in a sweet tone reserved for women he really wanted to impress and you looked back at Hilda's face to see her lack of reaction.

Baekhyun's expecting eyes and wide beautiful smile faltered a bit at her serious face and you saw the signs of a pout making its way along his lips.

His attention turned to you and you watched his expression soften considerably, an exhale through his nose with a slow blink of his eyes and he was grabbing your hand as he pulled you into the room.

The room was actually a home. You looked around curiously and you quickly slipped off your shoes at the door, walking along expensive looking hardwood floors into a living room with huge glass windows lining the entire wall. The decor was modern and lovely. The kind of furniture and fixtures one would see in a magazine.

What was this place?

“Come, lets sit here and have a look at your notebook.” Baekhyun motioned to the dining room where you set your backpack down and Hilda began unpacking things from the bag she brought.

Baekhyun was already sitting and he patted the pulled out seat next to him lightly waiting for you to comply. You saw the smile on his face but you also recognized the tension in his eyes. His leg shook under the table and his other hand sat in a tight fist on top of the table.

The brevity you'd heard in his voice during the drive over was clearly for your sake.  
This threat was serious and he was holding it together to keep you from feeling the effects of his nerves.

“Oppa, what is this place?”

Hilda was putting on gloves and she was getting to work unzipping your backpack and peering inside at your things.

“It's in the notebook on top,” you said to Hilda who nodded as she pulled it out of the bag slowly.

Baekhyun's eyes were on the notebook as the woman opened it and the note sat face up, under the top cover. It was upside down but Baekhyun could read it where it sat and you saw the tension in his jaw as he registered the words. His nostrils flared and he blinked rapidly a few times. Seeing his reaction in person was different than over the phone. On the phone he could hide his emotions and put on a chipper voice, but you knew him well. He was worried. Whether scared of a scandal itself or the effects of one on his career and the future of the group you weren't sure exactly, but Baekhyun was definitely scared of this.

“It-It's my place.” He said after a moment, realizing he hadn't answered your question. “I bought it a while ago for my mom and my grandmother to live in when they come to the city. They don't come very often but my mom is coming next week...to meet you.”

Your reaction must have been one of surprise because he cleared his throat and you felt his hand on your knee below the table.

“T-That is if you're free some time this week. She really wants to meet you… I admit I talk about you to her sometimes.”

Hilda had a small black case out that she had pulled from her bag and you both watched as she applied a fine black powder to the surface of the notebook, highlighting fingerprints all over the surface of the front and the back. She applied what looked like clear tape over each small black smudge and placed each piece of tape into a bag. It looked like a scene from a movie and you watched in silence as she worked.

After she was finished she began leafing through other items in your backpack for any other notes. You felt your stomach drop when she pulled out a smaller notebook and began leafing through it in front of Baekhyun.

The pages in this book were lined with a different kind of notes. Things you had written for your own personal use...private things with small doodles lining the margins. Mostly nonsense but even from where you sat you saw it.

His name...and your name...written in pretty writing with hearts and fucking butterflies and other childish decorations. You knew the further into the book she would get, the worse it became as you remembered writing your own name with his last name. It had been harmless. It hadn't ever been for him to see, yet as Hilda turned the pages to reveal where you had actually written _Mrs. Byun Baekhyun_ about twenty times, you felt the overwhelming desire to throw yourself through one of those big glass windows that lined the living room wall.

Your face felt hot and you were pretty sure you hadn't taken a breath since she pulled out the book. You heard his leg stop shaking under the table and you felt the stiffening of his body and a sharp inhale of breath sounded out next to you that made your head turn to look at him.

His eyes were wide, his face was flushed and he was staring down at the flipping pages as Hilda reached the end of the book and found no further threats.

“Umm..t-that..” you mumbled out and he pulled his eyes toward your face as you began speaking.

He was staring at you with his pink lips parted and his cheeks and nose flushed. His ears were even red.

“That was just...messing around...mindless doodling really, it’s not--”

You winced as you saw his face change the longer he looked at you and the shocked expression transformed into the kind of Baekhyun-smirk that you knew signaled complete trouble. He was amused. He was flattered. You were never going to hear the end of this and as his lips pulled back into a genuine smile that he didn't even try to hide you groaned as you looked away.

“I have to take this.” Hilda spoke up suddenly as she held the note and your attention was pulled away from your cheeky boyfriend who was holding his teasing tongue for the sake of the security woman.

You nodded and she pulled out a new pad of paper from her own bag to begin gathering names and phone numbers of the individuals you were with today. People who may have had access to your bag and its contents and you realized that having been in a busy college campus all day made the window of possible suspects quite large.

“We have a few known troublesome fans who frequent that school, a few who we have dealt with before. I will run the prints against those for a match. The two people you have indicated, Go Rina, and Kim Youngshik….we may have to investigate a bit more. I will be in touch.”  
  
She was standing suddenly and you and Baekhyun both mirrored her movement.

“Right, thank you Hilda. I trust you will get to the bottom of this.” Baekhyun was speaking and you felt his arm across your shoulder as he pulled you into his shoulder with a bright smile.

His voice suddenly dipped as he spoke his next words.

“Mrs. Byun Baekhyun here and myself will be eagerly awaiting the results of your investigation.” You wrinkled your nose as you looked at his face, catching only his profile that he kept carefully focused on the curt, disinterested woman who was leaving you behind to deal with your boyfriend yourself.

The door clicked shut and a thick silence filled the space you and Baekhyun occupied.

A small shimmy out of his arm freed you from the firm grasp he had held you with and you cleared your throat, willing the blushing in your cheeks to settle down. You knew you were avoiding his eyes, but you weren't quite ready to answer the questions he was about to ask.

And you knew him. He had plenty of questions. Most of them would merely serve to feed his considerable ego and frankly, it was late and you were tired.

How were you going to get home anyway? Your ride just abandoned you and it was much too late for any of the buses to be running.

A blanket of warmth over your back made you stop fussing with your backpack and you felt his arms wrapping around you.

Moving too slowly, you felt his face over your shoulder, his cheek brushed against your ear before moving to settle against your neck. You heard the inhale as he breathed you in and the sensation, so warm and affectionate made you close your eyes.

“I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought of it myself--”

His voice was a low whisper and his hands moved over your belly, up higher to just below your breasts and he pulled you in closer to himself. Your own hand moved to cover his and you felt the ring he wore on his finger. The ring that matched your own.

Could his words be true? Had baekhyun really considered the idea of spending the rest of his life with you in the same way as you had with him? You were both so young and your lives only beginning...but the more you were with him, the more you came to love everything about him, the more you wanted it.

The _forever_.

Such an absurd dream, yet so tempting to fantasize about over and over again. Silly little domestic things that you were sure would be impossible.

Making dinner together. Cleaning the house, him doing the floors as you dusted the shelves. Hanging new curtains and pictures on the wall with him, he would pound the nails and you would make sure it hung level and in the right spot. Raising a puppy together, a cute little thing that would be happy living in an apartment with frequent walks and trips to the park. Starting a family together -- naming your first born after his grandfather and him singing the most beautiful lullabies to the tiny baby that had his smile and your eyes.

“But maybe I want to take your last name. I’ll be the pretty trophy husband to some big-shot Doctor. You can work while I stay home. I hope you plan on taking care of me. I'm too sexy to be the breadwinner.”

You tried not to laugh at his teasing as his fingers curled against your rib cage, making you squirm in his arms.

“I can't believe she had to look in that book in front of you.” You were pouting now, grumbling at the embarrassment you felt.

“I can't believe you drew so many hearts. I had no idea you had this side to you...you're so fucking cute.” He had given up the tickling in favor of inching his hands down your shirt where he slipped his fingers below the fabric to run along the skin along your hip bones.

His touch was intimate and when you felt his hand slip inside the waistband of your jeans and flirt along the top of your panties you didn't fight the drift of your eyes or the way your head fell back onto his shoulder.

“It's late Oppa, how will I get home?” The responsible adult that lived somewhere inside your brain was fighting with the lust that you felt trying to take over and you remembered that you had a final exam in two days. You remembered that he had a schedule in the morning that he needed to rest for.

You heard a whine from over your shoulder and you knew you'd find his bottom lip jutted out if you looked at his face.

“We're already here, can't we just stay. Just for the night, let's pretend…”

You spun, pivoting on your sock covered feet within his arms and you found his face in front of yours, his brown eyes; tired yet lovely, watched you with a playful shimmer and you caught the slight uncertainty in them.

“--just for tonight...let's pretend huh?” His eyebrows danced on his forehead and you looked into his eyes as he laid out his cards for you to see, asking you to play along just for a while.

“What are we pretending exactly?” Your whisper was cautious, but the tiny smile on your lips was telling.

His eyes glanced down at your lips before he licked his own. The words on his tongue just out of your grasp, threatened to tumble out the longer he stared at your face until he broke.

“The fantasy… this place… our new home together. Mrs. Byun Baekhyun, the most beautiful bride in the entire world and her dashing...painfully handsome groom…”  
  
“--just for tonight, we can have this. Let's dream a little shall we?”

“You had a hard time spending the first night with me because of how you'd feel the next night when you were alone, what makes you think this is a good idea?” The voice of reason. The one that told you how dangerous this fantasy could be, was rearing its ugly head again and you watched his face.

“It's the worst idea.” He relented and you smiled as his hands tightened their grip around your waist. He was so warm and inviting your own arms wrapped around his waist as well and you held on tight.

“What if we get too greedy because of this?”

The protest on your lips was minimal, and at this point with the way his hands were slipping below the fabric of your shirt and playing around the strap of your bra you were finding it hard to focus on what had even been the source of your worries.

“I'm already as greedy as I can be when it comes to you.”

You watched the sweet smile that built on his face as you lightly raked your nails across his back and his face dipped to capture your lips in his. His soft lips played against your own at a languid tender pace and when he pulled away with a deep breath and a smile your eyes opened to find him watching your face with a trancelike feeling.

“And I want you to be greedy with me too,” he whispered his heavy request against your lips and you felt yourself caving.

What could be so bad about pretending a little bit? Just for the fun of it.  
Because if there was anything you enjoyed the most about Baekhyun, it was the fun.

“What do you say? Be my wife for the night? I'll be your husband and we can live in a sweet little dream, just the two of us.”

“Just for tonight--” you sighed in response.

“Yeah?” He asked.

How in the world had you ever resisted a single thing this man had asked of you was beyond your comprehension, because you were nodding your head with a bright smile and he was reaching down for your hand, the one with the ring, as he lifted it to his lips to kiss lightly before he let out a happy giggle from deep within his chest.

“Oh my god I can't believe we got married! We didn't even invite anybody! I'll be kicked out of the group for sure now. Chanyeol’s going to be so mad at me.” You felt him tugging you away from the dining table and further into the living room as he spoke animatedly.

“Where are we going?”

“Don't you want a tour of our new home my darling?” Your feet dragged as he pulled you along and your eyes caught sight of a picture that sat in a frame on top of a modern narrow table against the wall of the living room.

Your face smiled back at you and you recognized it as the selfie you had sent him after you aced a test last semester. You remembered how excited you had been when you snapped the picture and sent it with an excited message.

Baekhyun was talking quickly as he showed you the living room, being sure to add that the high ceilings might make you dread a high heating bill in the winter, but that this unit was especially energy efficient and had many environmental extras that would offset the cost.

“Although--” Baekhyun peered up at the high ceiling now with a bit of a frown on his face.

“If one of those lights goes out, it's just going to have to stay out forever because your husband is scared of heights.” You followed his gaze at the many recessed decorative lights that scattered across the grand ceiling and you laughed.

“Not to worry...we can just call a repairman if that happens.” He said after a pause.

“We’re not calling a repairman every time a lightbulb goes out Baekhyun--”

“Honey. Call me honey, I'm your husband not your co worker.” He interrupted you and you caught your small slip with a grin.

“Honey-- We don't need a repairman for a lightbulb, I will change them if you hold the ladder and catch me if I fall.”

“I guess I should buy a ladder.”

Baekhyun's tour continued and the further into the home he took you, the more you realized how perfect this place felt. It was comfortable and designed exactly to your tastes and had some amazing features that wowed you. You had to admit, Baekhyun had fantastic taste in his choice of furnishings and the artwork on the wall was sophisticated, clean, and absolutely gorgeous.

Baekhyun insisted that in each new room, a _super hot kiss_ was necessary to effectively break in the new place and you both found yourself too giggly to ever do it properly. That didn't stop you from trying though.

You caught him watching you as you took in the marble vanity in the bathroom with matching _His and Hers_ sinks, a plethora of cabinet space, and even a pair of toothbrushes, one in blue, and one in red, your favorite color.

Whenever you looked back at him, having been particularly in love with some new pretty thing in the home, he merely stood with his arms over his chest and smiled a wide satisfied grin in your direction.

When you opened one of the cupboards in the bathroom, a stack of small hand towels caught your attention and you began to reach for them to further inspect what looked to be monogrammed initials in the fabric when he suddenly closed the cabinet door and pulled you out of the bathroom entirely for something else you _just had to see_.

“So...do you love it?” He asked sweetly by the end of the tour and you looked back at him incredulously.

“Are you kidding me? Its perfect. Every single thing about it is perfect, I love it so much Honey!” Your smile was genuine and part of you was having trouble keeping the game in your mind as you got caught up with just how much you loved the home he had picked.

“I knew you would.” He said after a bit and you ticked your head to look at him, your own enthusiastic smile faltering just a touch.

“A-Are you sure you bought this place for your Mom?”

You had to ask. You couldn't hold the nagging suspicions you had inside for any longer and his own smile hiccuped for a split second as his eyebrows twitched on his face.

His mouth opened and no words came out for four whole seconds. You narrowed your eyes now.

“Heyyy--” he drew out the word and you raised an eyebrow at the glitch you’d seen in his response.

“O-Of course its for my Mom...what--” He scoffed and swallowed quickly as he licked his lips and broke the eye contact with you that already seemed shaky at best.  
  
“--pfft...what do you think? Who else would I buy it for?”

His words were a whisper and he breathed in a deep breath as you stared at him now, quite sure he wasn't being entirely truthful with his denial.

“Okay…” you said carefully and slowly, opting to just drop it and have this one rare night with him instead.

“Come on, let's get ready for bed. I'm tired and you have an early schedule tomorrow.”

The relief on Baekhyun’s face was as obvious as the exhaustion you saw there and you both got ready for bed together, sharing a cup of water after brushing your teeth, and you borrowed a t-shirt to sleep in. You noticed he picked a t-shirt that matched yours and he made jokes about the married couple sleeping in matching pajamas.

The bed was soft and comfortable. It felt remarkably similar to your own bed in plushness and you wondered how he got even that perfect after only having occupied your bed for actual sleep a handful of times. Still, the man seemed to be paying attention to what you liked. Whether he wanted to admit it or not.

As soon as you climbed under the warm covers he found you and his arms wrapped tightly around your shoulders, cradling you in his warmth and love.

The security you felt pulled you under quickly, but not as fast as it seemed to work its magic on him. You heard his breathing even out and he fell asleep just behind your head almost as soon as his head hit the pillow, having finally succumbed to the exhaustion you knew he had been fighting all evening.

So you closed your eyes and gave in. Your only night as a pretend married couple had come to a sweet end and you decided then that you very much looked forward to your future with this man.

The man you loved with all of your soul.

Morning came too soon.

The sun rose and shone through the windows cascading just over your head in a not entirely unpleasant way, but enough to wake you up. A glance at your phone told you that you had about one hour before your parents would wake up and you keyed in a quick text message, letting your mom know that you were off early to the library to study for your final exams. Hopefully she hadn't checked your room last night. The lack of phone calls or texts from her told you that you were most likely safe.

Your motions woke him and you felt him shift in the bed next to you, groaning out sleepily his arms flexed and he pulled you into him.

“Not yet,” he said in a thick voice and his body pressed into you. You felt the effects of the morning just below your hips and his hands roamed over your body slipping below the shirt you wore as he ticked his way up to cup your breast lightly. You felt it, the desire surging inside of you with a powerful force and you quickly turned around within his arms to claim his lips with your own, not at all caring about the sleepiness in his mouth or yours, you wanted him suddenly and urgently.

His kiss responded to the urgency in your own and when you moved to straddle his hips you heard a surprised grunt from him. He was still sleepy and hadn't quite expected your enthusiasm. But his body was responding quickly and you felt him harden below you as you rocked your hips over him. His hands were gripping tightly around your hips now as he pushed his hardness upward, between your legs, stopped by his boxers and your panties, the friction alone brushed against your core, sending wave after wave of desire and want through you.

You wanted to feel skin. You want to feel him against you and inside you and you wanted it faster than it seemed to be happening. Your frustrations led you to bite down on his collar bone, a bit higher than you normally would and he groaned out at the sensation. You knew you would leave a mark on his pretty skin but your mind was occupied as his hands were pushing his boxers out of the way and your panties aside to slip the his arousal into your wetness.

You sat up and you sank down and froze with the overwhelming sensation of him filling you completely and too quickly. After a moment you felt his hips buck and you lifted again to give in to the movement he craved.

The love was hasty and sloppy and fed a need both of you had been too exhausted to give in to last night. Noisy and rough now that he had you alone and you were both free to make as much noise as you wanted and the endeavor left you both sweaty and panting on a bed that had been very much broken in effectively.

The come down was slow and your mind jolted to an alert state when you heard a beeping sounding out from somewhere near the livingroom.

He sat up suddenly, having heard the same sound and his eyes widened as he looked at you. His appearance, well, he looked like he had just been fucked, if you were being honest. His hair in complete disarray, sweat along his hairline and marks along his skin along his neck, his lips were pink and swollen and his face completely flushed. In short, he was the most beautiful thing you'd ever seen, but the look of shock and now terror were misplaced on that pretty face.

“What day is today?” He said, no--demanded in a panicked tone and you racked your mind for the answer.

“Sunday?”

“Date! Date! What is the date!?” He was panicking and the sounds of the beeping had stopped as you both heard the tell tale sounds of the front door being opened.

An unholy sound came from deep within his chest. A cross between a horrified growl and a gasp of an animal in the throes of death and he bolted from the bed faster than you'd ever seen him move before.

He did a small panicked dance as he skittered around the room, looking for, yet not finding what he was searching for and he finally reached for the sweatpants he had discarded near the bathroom door the night before.

“Not next week, Not next week. This week. Fuck--FUCK!” He was swearing and talking to himself.

“S-She told me she had to change the week but it was during practice and I forgot...and now she's here, about to walk in on us -- oh god I think I'm going to vomit. Why aren't you moving?” He was talking fast and soft as he ran his hands through his hair quickly and moved toward the bedroom door.

“Who who who??” You whispered from the bed.

“My mom!”


	26. Chapter 26

The bedroom door closed with a click and you were halfway out of the bed scrambling in much of the same way as Baekhyun had before he vanished through the bedroom door.

You tried to move as silently as possible and you found your clothes from yesterday on the bathroom floor. Hygiene be damned, this was an emergency.

You heard his voice through the door, much too close to where you sat with your heart in your throat on the edge of the bed.  
  
“No no, I slept here last night. I knew you'd be coming early and I wanted to see you before my schedule--”

You wondered if his mother would pick up on the edge you heard in Baekhyun’s voice.

“I was thinking maybe we could go have breakfast...together?” The upward inflection in his question sounded just a bit more panicked near the end as his voice grew louder and you heard a definite brush against the door that made you stand up suddenly and review your options.

You could hide in the closet. You glanced around the room quickly making sure there were no items of clothing that could be identified as yours and your stomach dropped down to your feet when you heard a very sudden, loud ringing sound coming from your phone that was plugged in on the night stand.

You dove for it, about to turn the sound off when you heard his loud voice on the other side of the door.

“What's that sound?” A woman's voice on the other side of the door was your first snippet of Byun Baekhyun's mother. She sounded curious, with an accent that didn't sound completely like Baekhyun’s did now, except for certain situations in which he slipped back into the dialect he grew up with.

“OH! HA HA HA thats just my alarm, don't worry it'll turn off by itself in exactly one minute. We don't have to go in there and turn it off, it can just ring….for one whole minute.”

Your hands froze on the ringing device and you winced at just how obvious the man was. His voice was so loud as he sounded out his discrete instructions to you that you were positive she was suspicious of him by now. Why did he have to be so damn bad at this?

You heard him coughing loudly now, no doubt in an attempt to cover up his weird behavior and you counted down in your head as you waited to silence your ringing alarm.

“Mom...lets go eat breakfast now huh? I'm so hungry -- Mom, lets go!” He whined and you knew that if you saw him he would be putting on quite a show now.

You figured a minute had passed by now and you silenced your phone and turned of the ringer just in case any other sounds decided to give you away in here as you listened carefully to the conversation that was taking place just outside the bedroom door.

“Why would we go out for breakfast, I brought so many things to eat--” Her voice was steady now, not even giving any hint that she was giving in to his whining. She was immune to it all by now and the thought made you smile. Perhaps one day you could be so strong against his charms.

“--besides...I want to meet her.”

The air in the room went dead and cold… your eyes widened on the closed door. It was silent for a spell, him having nothing on the tip of his tongue to recover from his mother's words. Your own hands seemed to be trembling as you held onto your phone and held your breath so you could hear every single word that was uttered next.

“Oh please...like a mom doesn't know her own son. I know you're trying to get me out of here quickly so you can sneak her out. I saw her shoes at the door. And didn't we walk by a girl’s sweater on our way over here? Where is she? In the bathroom here? Or maybe in this room?”

“Mom--” His nervous voice echoed out and mingled with the sound of the bedroom door opening and you stood straight, quickly putting your hands down at your sides as you tried your best to keep your expression from showing the utter horror and panic you felt inside your body right now.

The woman who stood before you was shorter than him, she was slight and you could see hints of resemblance on her pretty face. Her eyes found yours and she was still and silent for just a moment as she looked at you.

Your stunned inaction lasted for just a second before you bowed deeply and greeted her with as much confidence as you could muster. When you rose you caught Baekhyun's eyes and he looked apologetic as he grimaced in your direction.

His mother turned to look back at him and he stiffened with her gaze suddenly in his direction and you caught a swift movement as she reached out and swatted his arm, clearly chastising him for the horribly awkward and inappropriate situation the three of you were found in this morning and he winced and ducked, trying to avoid the hit. She was fast and made contact, causing him to yelp out loud.

“Mom! I’m sorry! I was wrong.” He was quick with his apology and he rubbed his arm dramatically, playing up the pain with a pathetically sad look on his face that would have made you feel completely terrible about ever having caused him any pain.

This woman wasn't so weak. Her index finger was pointed in his face and she was whispering something in a harsh tone in his direction that had his head hanging as he nodded quickly in complete agreement with something whatever she said to him.

You caught bits of it.

“...how could you… me… her … this way… knew I was coming… idiot… ”

His words were louder and easier to understand.

“I know. You're completely right. It was very inconsiderate of me. I will…Mom I’m sorry.”

His head was hung, eyes fixed downward and you watched the tense exchange between mother and son with a slight frown on your face.

When the older woman turned to face you again you quickly blanked out your expression and lifted your brows with a small tense smile.

“Did you come here yesterday intending to spend the night with my son?”

The question was direct, not in an unkind tone but the frankness of it certainly surprised you into a sort of stunned silence for a few seconds.

“Umm.. n-no ma'am, I am very sorry.” You finally answered and you noticed Baekhyun's eyes were wide as he looked between your face and his mother’s profile.

You felt the heat flood your face to have your actions displayed so obviously in front of the woman who you had so desperately wanted to make a good impression on.

Now how would this go? Would she ever accept you, even after finding you here with him in such a situation?

“So this is my sons fault then? Do you even have a change of clothes with you?” She wasn't looking at Baekhyun as she spoke out her concerns about your’s and her son's misdoings and you clamped your lips together, not at all able to place all of the blame on him. The tension you felt in her accusing tone grew the longer you remained silent.

“She had to come for an urgent situation very late last night. It was time-sensitive...security related...that's all taken care of now, but it-- it's my fault she spent the night.” Baekhyun was speaking now even though the woman seemed to be refusing to look at him as he rambled off his excuses.

“Mom?” He said as he tried to pull the woman's attention to himself.

“Mom did you hear me, it's my fault.” His words flew quickly again as he tried to pull the interrogation away from you and back onto himself. “I will take responsibility, this is my fault.”

“So your intention was not to stay here overnight?” Baekhyun's mother still refused to acknowledge his words and her eyes remained steady on you, expecting some sort of an answer.

“No Mrs. Byun.” You said with more confidence this time.

“Come on Mom...She's- she's not like that she's a good girl. She's smart too, she's going to be a doctor you know.” Baekhyun spoke up louder now and you jumped at the speed in which his mother turned her head to glare at the noisy man behind her.

“What's the one thing have to do with another? Do you know how embarrassing this is for her to be found in such a situation by your mother? Didn't you ever consider her feelings for a single moment? Or were you so focused on getting what you wanted last night that you forgot about what might happen this morning?”

Her words to him were biting. Scolding and admonishing and his nervous smile vanished instantly and you saw the way his lips parted, Hanging uselessly open and wordless now. When he closed his mouth you saw the small pout appear on his lips and his eyes flew to you, now filled with a genuine concern and chagrin at the damage he may have caused.

Damage he must have been unaware of prior to his mother mentioning it. His cheeks were pinker now and you recognized the embarrassment on his face. A few rapid blinks and he was looking back nervously at his mother.

“Why don't you go get cleaned up. I have to speak with your girlfriend for a moment.” She spoke to him in a manner that told him there was absolutely no room for argument and he swallowed nervously as he bowed his head once and backed up out of the room.

The glance he shot at you was as telling as the words, “I'm sorry,” you saw him mouth as he closed the door behind him.

Mrs. Byun sighed deeply as she looked down at her hands and for a moment you wondered if she would say anything when after a while you heard her clear her throat as she lifted her eyes to look into yours.

And you saw a smile on her face. It was small, it was regretful, but it was anything but scolding.

“I know this is a terrible first introduction...but it's so nice to finally meet you--”

Her smile widened and you felt a strange rush of relief flood through your chest when you felt her warm hand reach out to rub lightly over your shoulder.

“--try not to be too embarrassed.” She whispered with a grin. Her smile felt genuine and you felt yourself relaxing as you dropped your guard and relaxed against the warm hand against your shoulder. You felt surprised to find yourself smiling back at her inviting nature.

Her voice rose from the whisper as she continued speaking, now sounding somewhat amused in her tone.

“Afterall...it's not your fault my idiot son forgot I was coming, probably tricked you into spending the night here, and is listening outside of the door right now.”

“Yaaaahhh… idiot?” you heard a distant whiny complaint in his voice, muffled by the closed door.

You couldn't help the giggle that erupted from your lips at just how well she knew him and you lifted your hand to stifle your laughter.

Her smile widened for a moment before she leaned in with a wink.

“I'm actually pleasantly surprised to find out that you really exist...I was beginning to suspect something else about him…”

She may have been talking to you but her head was turned now in the direction of the door as she paused to listen for him.

After a while you heard it. A deep sigh from behind the door as he took the bait.

“....something like what?” He finally said and she turned to face the door more with a genuine smile on her face that mirrored yours.

“I was actually waiting for the day he called to tell me he was dating Chanyeol.” She shrugged with both her shoulders and her lips and your mouth fell open just as the door flew open with a noisy man bursting through the threshold.

“Wooow, Mom! Wow...just...no.” The look on Baekhyun's face said it all. Exasperated. Fed up. Scandalized at the very idea that his mom would dare say such a thing in front of you and his eyes looked at you for a moment before he rubbed his face roughly and blinked a few times staring for a long while at the two of you. After a while he was looking closer. Taking in the secure arm around your shoulder his mom had on you. The relaxed posture and light expression on your face and the way his mom rubbed up and down on your back, filling you with a sweet feeling of comfort and acceptance immediately.

His expression changed instantly as he took in the sight and a playful smile began to play out on his lips as his eyes lit up with mischief and playfulness. He took a step closer to where you both stood and you he dipped his head to speak closer to his mother’s ear, as if his next words were meant to be a secret despite his predictable loud volume.

“But Mom….isn't she the prettiest girl you've ever seen? And she's so smart too. Her grades are always so good. I'm sure she will be the best doctor in the country some day.”

Your mouth dropped at the over the top compliments that flew it of your boyfriend’s mouth.

“She's exactly as pretty as I knew she would be...I really can't wait to see the beautiful grand-babies I'll get to hold in my arms and spoil rotten.”

With that, Baekhyun stiffened and straightened up his posture and you felt the blush heat up your cheeks as his mom let go of your shoulder and trailed her arm down yours to grab at your hand.

She gave you a small wink and a smile and you were pulled out of the room leaving behind a silently stunned Baekhyun who took a moment to recover from the flippant comments his mother threw out about spoiling pretty grand-babies.

You turned back to catch a strange look in his eyes for a split second. A look that seemed quite serious and completely out of place on his usually light-hearted face. As quickly as the look appeared it was gone when he met your eyes and smiled a wide glorious smile in your direction. He was rushing to catch up and you watched as he wrapped his arms tightly around his mother’s shoulders and leaned in to kiss her noisily on the cheek.

She wiped at her cheek with a grin that matched his in grace and beauty and swatted him away dramatically.

“But Mom,” Baekhyun began in a sweet voice that you knew he reserved for talking with those he loved the most, “where are we going?”

You noticed she was still pulling you and you seemed to be heading toward the door of the apartment now.

“We are going out for breakfast. I don't feel like cooking.”

“Ahhh,” you quickly began, interrupting the flow of the direction you all seemed to be headed to.

“Can I just use the restroom for a moment. I haven't had a chance to clean up.”

Your hand was released with a nod and you grabbed your backpack from its spot on the kitchen table as you made your way back into the apartment toward the bedroom you had previously been discovered in.

You emerged from the bedroom feeling slightly more refreshed for your efforts as Baekhyun's mom was coming out from the other bathroom down the hallway.

She had something in her hand that she waved around to get his attention and you saw his eyes widen as he looked at her and your curiosity pulled your attention to the woman who was now waving what looked like one of the hand towels from the bathroom.

“What does BH&HD mean?” Baekhyun sprang into action and he leapt forward, his hand outstretched and he closed the distance between them both and pulled the cloth swiftly and quite forcefully out of her hands.

“It-Its nothing, they were on sale.” He mumbled very quickly and vanished down the hallway toward the bathroom where the towel had been tucked away into the closet.

“You have eight of them...I think the BH must be Baekhyun but what is HD?” She followed close behind his retreating back and your mind whirled as you considered the possibilities…

These were the monogrammed towels that he wouldn't let you see during the tour last night. You remembered clearly that you were bout to pull them out to investigate when he closed the door, practically on your hand and ushered you out of the bathroom.

You'd dismissed it easily enough last night, but seeing his hasty reaction now pinged something in your mind. What did HD mean? You had a brief twinge in your gut when you racked your brain for someone with the initials that matched and came up short. It definitely wasn't your name and the idea that, perhaps he was holding on to some sort of secret around this combination of letters made you feel just a little bit off.

“They had eight of them on sale. It doesn't mean anything, I just thought it was funny. Just forget them.” You stood behind the older woman who stood at the door with her eyebrows raised in confusion watching as your boyfriend fished through the closet for every single embroidered towel and hurried through the door, brushing past the both of you. He walked down the hallway to a back room where he quickly tossed them into the darkness behind the door and slammed it shut.

“Well….that didn't seem suspicious at all.” Mrs. Byun remarked under her breath and you nodded your head when she caught your eye.

Baekhyun made his way back down the hallway and you didn't miss the down cast of his eyes and the tension in his shoulders as he walked past you with a sigh.

Breakfast was fun. Baekhyun's mother had the same sense of humor as he did, in a much quieter package, and his relationship with her was easy in a way that warmed your heart. You found yourself watching them closely as they interacted and every now and then his eyes would find yours and the small smile he would shoot you was enough to make you swoon.

You excused yourself after your meal was finished to use the restroom and you took your time returning, choosing to give mother and son some time to catch up alone.

Your feet dragged when you returned to the small private dining room of the restaurant that you noticed Baekhyun preferred to frequent when he wanted a private meal and through the curtain you heard the sound of their voices as they talked.

You knew you shouldn't.  
You knew it was a violation, but you couldn't quite bring yourself to interrupt the quiet words they exchanged between each other...especially not when your curiosity burned inside you to find out what she thought of you.

“I can see it honestly. She reminds me of your father. Smart, cute, funny..plus she listens well. I like her...but I knew I would when you told me you were in love.”

Her voice was near a whisper and you hear the appreciative hum from his throat in response.

Your stomach flipped inside your stomach at her next question.

“But what are you doing buying a home already? You two haven't discussed marriage yet have you?”

Buying a home? Marriage? What was she talking about? Wasn't that home for her?

Baekhyun groaned and you heard his voice in a quiet whisper, much softer than he usually spoke.

“Mom...that place is for...the future. Of course I bought it with her in mind, but I can't ever tell her that. She would freak out and say it's too soon...I know it is, but … she’s...she’s--

“God, Mom, remember how you said with Dad you just knew? This girl I…” you heard the deep sigh that left lungs slowly and your mind whirled.

“I just know it Mom,” he groaned out in what sounded almost like defeat as he went silent for a while.

“Besides I told you, it's yours and grandmas to use when you're in town.”

Your heart raced inside your chest at his words. He...bought the home for the future. For the future with you?

You heard a soft chuckle and you could practically see her shaking her head.

“You never had any patience. Not when you were little and not now--” she replied with a pause and you heard the sound of a water glass being set back down on the table.

“--but Hyunie, what is HD?”

A choking laugh sounded out in your boyfriend's voice and you waited a moment for him to answer through his giggles.

“Remember the costume she wore at the party? All my friends still call her Hot-dog--” He was giggling again and you heard a soft chuckle from Mrs. Byun. “I know it's silly, but they really were on sale, already monogrammed like that. I couldn't resist.”

He laughed harder and spoke again between giggles, “--Yixing slapped a hot dog out of Kyungsoo’s hand the other day and he wouldn't let anyone else eat them either. He won't tell us why.” Baekhyun snorted into his hand as he tried to quiet his laughter, “h-he just says its disrespectful.”

You heard him quiet down after a while and a long sigh signaled the end of his story and a pause in their conversation.

It was now or never and when you cleared your throat and pulled back the curtain they both turned to you, momentarily taken aback at your return. Perhaps they had been so engrossed in their conversation they had forgotten about you.

You spent the rest of the visit lost in your thoughts as memories of you and Baekhyun playing house the night before played back in your memory like a film. A wide range of emotions flew through your body...fear of the unknown, a hopeful anticipation, disappointment when you thought of just how young you were and how young he was to be thinking such thoughts that could potentially affect your the rest of your life. And annoyance that he would do something so huge completely on his own like this. But overshadowing all of those scary, negative emotions, you felt an unrelenting feeling of love for this person...this man who, in everything he did, leapt in head first, ready to take on any challenge he faced if it meant seeing his hopes and dreams come to fruition. And if some of those hopes and dreams were you, then perhaps he deserved to be heard out. He at least deserved to be allowed to dream a little longer about the possibilities of the future he could have with you before you put the brakes on the fantasy.

The next few days of Mrs. Byun visit were over too quickly, you felt a pang of regret to hear that she had to leave before the week was done. She promised another visit soon and that you'd even get to meet Baekhyun’s grandmother next time.

With his busy schedule for the next few days and your exams taking up much of your time you fell back into the familiar game of sporadic texts and late night phone calls.

You aced the exam you had for the class that you shared with Youngshik and you were pleased, but not surprised to find out he got great marks on the exam as well. He usually did well on his exams. He was included in the group text you had going with a few classmates and when you were invited out friday evening for drinks after the last exam was over, you were tempted.

How long had it been since you'd unwinded like that? How long since you’d laughed and drank with friends from school? Too long. Your fingers were typing your agreement to join the group before you even thought too much about it. You deserved a fun night. You'd been working much too hard lately and sometimes all you need is a little break to be able to keep going at the intense pace you needed to maintain to graduate on schedule.

“Absolutely not.” Baekhyun’s voice sounded in your ear, you'd hardly gotten through the entire explanation of the plans for friday night when his voice interrupted you, much too excited at the mere mention of Youngshik’s name as one of the classmates that would be going.

“I mean...you obviously aren't asking for my permission, nor do you need to….that's not what this is. I’m not trying to be _that guy_ here, but it's obviously completely out of the question. You're not... going.” His voice faced and evened out as he spoke-- trying to justify his strong reaction as he outright forbade you from joining your friends for drinks after your exams like a normal college student would do.

You’d gone silent during his little diatribe and you could hear his long sigh as you went quiet and did not respond to his outburst right away.

“You can't be serious.” You finally said, trying to keep your voice level and calm.

“He is our number one suspect…..” He was adamant and you knew you would see the clenched muscles of his jaw flash before he pulled his bottom lip up between his teeth and worried the flesh around a few times, so sure in his opinion, yet unsure of your reaction.

“He's not _my_ number one suspect,” you said flippantly. “Besides it's a big group of us. I promise that we won't even be sitting next to each other nor will there be any need for us to be alone together at any time during the evening.”

You heard a bitter laugh from him. The kind of disingenuous laugh that rarely came from him and always put you on edge when you heard it.

He was quiet and you felt the seconds ticking by the longer he went without speaking until you heard flipping through paper around him.

“What time is it going to be?” He finally said after a long moment of movement on his end. The hard edge was gone from his voice and you sat upright, suddenly wondering why in the world he wanted to know.

“Probably 10 or 11pm.. but why do you want to know that?”

“I'm coming too--” the false lightness in his voice was a ploy that you knew well. He was trying something here and he wanted you to just agree to whatever scheme he was hatching.

“What? Absolutely not, Oppa, you can’t.” We’re you the only one with any sense here? What in the world was he thinking with this suggestion?

A well known celebrity such as himself showing up to have drinks with his girlfriend and her classmates at a bar in a busy college district? He might as well invite the reporters for a press conference. It was a ridiculous suggestion and he knew it.

“Well my schedule ends early that day, I’ll be done by 6. I've got something else after that but it's just an interview but it's for a Japanese magazine. They are always punctual, it'll be exactly 30 minutes on the dot, I guarantee it….”

“Wait...why don't you want me to come? I want to meet your friends.”

“You know exactly why you can't come Baekhyun...you are Byun Baekhyun. There’s no way. These are classmates, sure we are friendly with each other, but I don't know them well enough to trust then with this. Besides it'll be in a crowded college bar. There’s no way you can come.” Your explanation was harsh, but as you neared the end you softened your tone a bit, sensing the silence on his end and knowing that this truth was always hard to swallow. Because of his career he was never free to live life with casual disregard...not like most people his age could.

He took a deep breath and the sound of the air whooshing over the his phone lasted for a long time. It was the sound of disappointment. The sound of reality.

“I’m sorry baby, you know I would love to have you there. I really would. But it’s probably one of the worst ideas you've ever had.” There was a click on the line, interrupting your voice for a split second and you heard a curious hum from his throat as his voice changed and you could tell he put the call on speaker phone.

“Oh shit, I just got a text from Hilda--”

The discussion about Friday evening drinks was instantly slipped to the back of your mind as you recognized the name of the rough, scary woman who worked for the security firm currently investigating the threat against you and him. It had been at least a week since you had pulled the small slip of paper out from your notebook and been thrust into the reality of what it really felt like to be dating someone at the level of Byun Baekhyun.

“--she found them. They have the name of the person who sent the note and conclusive evidence implicating the source. That means enough for charges and enough for a lawsuit. She wants to meet with us as soon as possible.”

A buzzing excitement rose up quickly inside your chest at his revelation and you could hear the anticipation in your voice as you spoke.

“Well did she say who it is?” Maybe you could find out the culprit right away and put this whole silly discussion about Youngshik to rest so you could go on with your young college life.

“No, but I’ll ask.” You heard silence on the line that told you he was probably sending a text message and he was too quiet for a moment.

You felt nervous suddenly. What if she said it was Youngshik. What if he was a dangerous person who had worked his way into your life to get close to you and cause you harm. Or cause harm to Baekhyun? What if you really had misjudged his kindness so drastically as to completely misread him. Were you really that naive and easy to fool?

A tick on the line told you the response came in and he was quiet again. You couldn't even hear his breathing on the line as he read the message and he was so quiet for so long that you pulled the phone back to look at it to make sure the call was still active.

It was...he was just quiet.

Until you heard a long sigh from him.

“She said it was a fan. A young woman from one of my fansites that is a student at your school. Name Kim Hyeshin, two years younger than you. They have her fingerprint on the note. She also made some posts on the fansite about having exclusive information about the woman I am dating that matches with the time that the note would have been left in your book...it seems that she has caused a bit of trouble before --”

“So it wasn't Youngshik,” you said suddenly, relieved to have a name and so much information behind the person responsible for the stress you both had been dealing with since the threat surfaced.

“And it wasn’t Rina.” Baekhyun said with just a touch of attitude behind his voice that made you smile.

You had both been wrong in your suspicions and you realized that your prejudices were probably rooted in some deep seated jealousy, or bitterness. You definitely felt that was the case when Rina was concerned, and Baekhyun probably had something going on inside his head to explain how quickly he jumped to blame the friendly male classmate who maybe flirted with you a bit at that bus stop, and maybe casually asked about your boyfriend.

But ultimately it had been innocent behavior and you felt slightly bad for the rash judgements you had both made.

But only slightly...because Rina was still a bitch.

Baekhyun sighed again into the line and you heard a bit of sadness in the sound of his next words.

“So I guess you're going out with your friends on Friday. Can you promise me not to get too drunk and promise me to be very careful?”

“Of course I promise, Oppa.” The smile in your voice brightened your tone significantly and you knew his pout would be wavering by now. Because while his pout was very powerful, you knew he was weak to you and you could usually bring him out of it pretty quickly.

“I miss you,” he suddenly said with the melancholy notes still on his tongue. “I want you--”

“I love you,” he added after a pause and you smiled.

“My baby--”

You hummed into the line, enjoying the wistfulness his voice took on sometimes when he was talking sweetness into your ear. Your own breathing rose a bit as you let yourself become affected by the sound of his voice and the intimate words he whispered through your phone.

“My life--”

“Mhmm” you responded again as you closed your eyes and savored the quiet whisper of his voice. He took a breathe and you heard a low groan from his throat. Nearly a sensual sound and you opened your eyes back up before he spoke again. “My hot-dog,” he said in a sexy growl that flipped up on the end with a tiny giggle that he couldn’t hold back as he made himself laugh at his own stupid joke. The same kinds of really bad jokes he often made at usually inappropriate times all for the sake of the laugh.

“Stop. You ruined it. Goodnight Baekhyun.” You could hear his laughter grow louder as you pulled the phone away from your ear, ready to hang up the call.

“Wait wait wait, don’t hang up,” he giggled again and you gave him the benefit of the doubt for a moment and put the phone up to your ear.

“Are you still there?”

You breathed out an exasperated breath that told him you hadn't hung up yet and his voice dropped, lower again, teasing you and playing against your ear with the sexy tone. You heard a moan and you hated how affected you felt by the sound of him.

“Baby...I meant it when I said I missed you--”

You only trusted this marginally, because part of you knew he was still in a teasing mood, no matter how low and sexy his voice sounded right now, a teasing Baekhyun was never to be trusted completely.

“Really? How much do you miss me? Enough to stop with the hot dog jokes already?”

“Aww, do you not like my jokes?” He whined playfully.

“They’re just getting a little--” you trailed off with a sigh on your voice. “Aren't you tired of them yet?”

“Me? No way. I love them--” he insisted with his voice full of conviction as he paused his explanation for dramatic effect.

“--some would even say I _relish_ them. I h-hope they never go _stale._ ” The giggles were out before he could even finish the line and your thumb quickly clicked on the red button to end the call and cut off the loud maniacal laughter that had you rolling your eyes at this man’s ridiculous sense of humor.


	27. Chapter 27

A/N: Possible Trigger Warning: violence, attempted assault: sexual/physical, drugs/alcohol.

* * *

You were putting on mascara when your phone buzzed, letting you know of an incoming text. It was probably one of the friends who were meeting up later at the small bar near campus. You swiped when you recognized Minah’s name, your best friend who you had invited along. Your exams and being so busy with your boyfriend had made you neglect your best friend lately and you made her promise to join tonight.  
  
When Baekhyun found out you were bringing Minah along he seemed to settle down a bit about your classmate, and study buddy Kim Youngshik who was going as well. While you understood his reservations, you really didn't think he had to treat the guy like his arch nemesis simply because the guy seemed to have a little crush on you.

Surely an intelligent guy like Youngshik had enough understanding to accept that you were unavailable and clearly not interested in him that way. He was a friend. A good friend who lent you notes for classes he had already taken that he knew you would need soon, and even gave you heads up about which professors to stay away from. With how far removed Baekhyun was from college life, it was difficult for him to understand the benefits of making friends with your classmates, especially the super helpful ones like Youngshik.

It wasn't like you gave Baekhyun a hard time about hanging out with all of those beauties from the different idol groups. Just recently you had seen him being sweet online with Yoona of SNSD, during one of those LOL broadcasts. You knew the man well enough to recognize his body language and you knew what a slightly flustered nervous flirt looked like.

You hadn't said a thing about it! You just closed the browser on your laptop with a few more mouse clicks than necessary and maybe you slammed the screen shut a bit too hard. You handled that like a perfectly reasonable adult and the funny noise your laptop had been making lately had nothing to do with your jealousy.

Did he really have to speak so cutely to his translator like that? Did he have to give her all those coupons too? Couldn't he just….not?

No no...that was just him. He was sweet and generous and he was easy for a laugh and quick with a blinding smile. There was nothing at all behind the gifts. That was just Baekhyun.

And he was yours.

 _”Oh shit, Is this you?!!!”_ the text from Minah was well punctuated and had a link leading to some sort of celebrity news article site. You usually tried not to pay attention to these things. Celebrity gossip news was garbage and rarely based on any real facts, but you felt your stomach drop a bit when you clicked on the link, seeing the word EXO in the link words.

When the page loaded you felt dizzy and just a little more nauseated than you should feel right now.

_EXO Member Caught Dating - Exclusive Photo Evidence Inside_

You have never clicked on a link so fast in your life, feeling an instant annoyance at the slow loading website with annoying ads. The article was sparse. Promising loads of juicy details without actually delivering a thing and by the time you reached the end you had learned that the gossip reporters had received a tip. Absolute proof that a member of popular Idol Group EXO had a girlfriend and the article cut off with a link accessible only to paid subscribers of the news site.

Your phone was out and you were texting Baekhyun as that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach swelled and settled like a stubborn rock refusing to budge.

Your fingers weren't quite working on your touchscreen keyboard and you groaned in frustration as you opted to call him instead.

“Hello?” His answer was instantaneous and you checked the tone of his voice for any signs that anything at all could be wrong.

“Baek, what--” You could feel the panic bubbling inside your throat and a quick steadying breath to calm yourself some interrupted your words, “--what are you doing now?”

“Hmm?” He hummed on the line, sounding like the same sweet man you had grown so used to, so comfortable with and you tried to ignore that stupid rock in your gut.

“Ahh, I’m laying down in my bed, feeling abandoned and unloved because my girlfriend is going out with her friends tonight and she told me I can't come along. I'm thinking about crying a little bit later.”

His dramatics were perfectly intact and you came to the instant conclusion that he either didn't yet know about the gossip article, or it wasn't anything concerning. You hoped and prayed it was the later.

“Umm.” You inhaled a deep breath and decided the best way to approach this was to be direct.

“T-There’s an article on some stupid website that Minah just sent me...and I was just--”

“Ahh, is it the one about an EXO member dating?” He interrupted you in his soft voice and you felt a small speck of relief when you heard that voice.

He knew about it, yet he didn't sound upset at all. He didn't sound nervous or mad and you simply hummed in response to him. The panic you felt earlier had shifted into a sort of confusion about the reality of the situation.

“It said there were pictures, but I couldn't see them I dont--” this time you interrupted yourself, unable to formulate any real conclusions without any facts about the situation.

“You dont think...it’s that person do you? The one that Hilda found? S-She said she had pictures, what if...what if she did something already?”

“Well if she did, we will have to handle it.” His words sounded so casual you stared ahead in disbelief, trying to will yourself to feel as calm as he sounded.

Could you really handle it? Could his career handle a huge scandal and could you handle the knowledge that you contributed to such a damaging blow to the man you loved?

“The _pictures_ haven't been released yet anyway, so we don't know if their claims are even true. My manager said something about someone on twitter and I heard a couple of other members names. I'm not that concerned. Hilda will take care of it.”

How could he be so calm and dismissive about this? You felt like you wanted to vomit and he wasn’t _that concerned_.

“What time are you meeting Minah at the bar? What are you going to wear? Will you eat before you drink?” He was talking faster, asking his usual overprotective questions that somehow served to settle your mind back into your usual light mood when you spoke to him.

“I’m wearing the shortest skirt I own of course.” You teased in response and you heard him whine. You knew the look you would find on his face. The usual disgruntled pout.

“Are you sure you're only going to one bar and then coming straight home?”

You had reached a point in your relationship with Baekhyun where you knew when it was time to put a stop to his dramatics, or risk getting stuck in this trap. His endless worries and protectiveness, paired with his capacity for impressive theatrics usually had to be kept in check for his own good.

“Oh, Minah just texted me that she’s leaving. I'll be good I promise and I'll call you later, I love you baby.” You may have had to stretch your truths with him when he got like this, and you really would text Minah as soon as you hung up with him. He didn't need to know every single detail.

“You better answer my calls.” The threat in his voice sounded pretty believable this time and you hummed into the line before you hung up the phone to finish getting ready.

Okay so maybe your shortest skirt stayed behind in your closet, opting for skinny jeans and a flowy top. But you swore to yourself it had nothing to do with your sweet, slightly fragile boyfriend who was waiting at home for you to send him a selfie of you arriving safely in the bar. You pulled Minah close beside you and made her smile for the picture, sure to capture your whole image so he could verify that you were, in fact, in one piece and completely safe.

_“Where is whats-his-face?”_

His response came quick and you assured him that you didn't know where Youngshik was, nor were you in any hurry to greet him tonight.

“Put your phone away, he will be fine without you for one night!” Minah had two drinks in her hand and was shoving one of them into your open hand as she pulled you further into the bar. You heard the sounds of music growing louder and what sounded like karaoke. Some pour soul was butchering one of your favorite songs and you decided that a few shots might help you handle that better.

Your first drink went down fast and with your giggling best friend on your arm, encouraging you to let loose you may have lost track of how many drinks you had as the laughter grew louder, the music grew more fun and much more tolerable, despite the endless chain of off key singers who took the stage and familiar smiles around the tables greeted you again and again. Some with hugs, others with jokes and one in particular with a request.

“Oh come on…” Youngshik was tugging on your arm. From the glassy look in his eyes you could tell he was drunk. Not falling down, but he definitely felt different than the usual studious dean’s list student you had gotten to know well during the semester.

“Come dance with me,” he whined with a pout on his face and a silly little hip wiggle that made you snort. You were too drunk to refuse the silly request and you headed toward the small space between the tables where a few friends were dancing to the upbeat song playing on the screen.

Dancing with Youngshik was fun. You weren't particularly aware of much but he kept his hands to himself, thankfully and when the song was over you turned to head back to your table where your phone sat alone, waiting for you to check on. You thought you saw it light up once when you were making your way toward it but the lights in the bar were flashing with the music played too loudly, making you second guess yourself...making you think you saw things. Was it buzzing? You had nearly reached it when you felt a hand reach for yours and the surprise made you turn to look.

Youngshik was back. His glassy eyes blinking at you wide, you felt his hand wrap around your wrist and pull you back. Almost roughly, just enough to surprise you and make you look down at your wrist as it moved toward where he pulled.

“You need to come back, please dance just one more with me, come on.” He turned back toward where you had been dancing and you noticed the song had changed. The lights in the bar were pulsing with the beat of the music and every turn of your head sent the room spinning in a way that took just a second too long to settle.

“Are you okay?” Your feet had traveled, carrying you to the same spot where you had been laughing and dancing just minutes before...before you had left for something. What was it?

Someone was tapping and rubbing along your back now and you looked up, finding his eyes.

“Oh...oh it’s you, Youngshik.” You smiled a wide smile that he watched with curiously strange eyes for a moment before you saw him return it with a bright inviting smile of his own.

“Yeah its me. We were dancing remember? And then you ran away.” He frowned dramatically and you lifted your head feeling the shift in the music. The song that played now was slower and your dance partner didn't seem to be bothered by the change one bit.

“Are you sure you’re okay? You seem to be drunk.” He giggled now and Minah howled with laughter in the background. The boys she had been talking to were making her laugh, feeding her new drinks with the sort of reckless abandon reserved for college life. This time when you were young and invisible and game for anything.

“I’m okay,” you said with a smile on your face that hopefully looked at least a little bit sober, “let's dance then.”

You felt yourself give in to him. Had he always been this convincing?

The song was slow and you swayed with the beat for a while, willing the room to settle down some. There was a bit of relief when the chaotic lights stopped their assault on your senses and you could finally open your eyes.

You felt warm. Flushed and humid and someone had you in their arms as you swayed to the music.

How long was this song?

You had to check your phone. You were sure you saw it light up before. Before when you had tried to come back to the table and you were pulled away by...who was holding you so tightly?

Your head swam as you lifted it and you found the owner of the arms who held you upright was so familiar, yet different somehow. He held on too tight and he smelled wrong. Not like the one you loved, this one was...wrong.

His hands held too tight and when you looked up saw his face descending quickly. What was he doing? He wasn't about to kiss you was he?

You pushed back, resisting, expecting him to loosen his grip around your waist quickly but feeling a weird resistance and a darkening in his eyes that sent a chill down your spine.

“Where are you going? We are dancing.” The voice that sounded close to your ear had an edge to it that you didn't like and you felt a wave of something wash over you. What was that? It wasn't pleasant. But the alcohol in your system was clouding everything you felt and made it hard to describe.

“I don't want to dance with you anymore.” You said suddenly as you pushed out of his arms. Why did you have to push so hard to get him to let go? Perhaps your strength had been used up during the dance. Maybe he was holding on that tight.

The shove had been hard and you saw him stumble back, hitting his leg against a chair behind him that bumped against the table with your friends and classmates. A beer fell, a shout was heard out and you turned and made your way toward the bar. Your destination wasn't for more alcohol but the bathrooms and you found the familiar symbol that told you this was the ladies room, pushing inside.

The air inside the bathroom felt cooler. The door closed behind you and muted the loud music that you hadn't even realized had been muddling your brain until it shut off and the relief you felt was palpable.

You took your time, emptying your bladder and washing your hands in the sink before you splashed the cool tap water over your face, careful not to mess up your eye makeup, but feeling comfort in the coolness over your cheeks.

Your face was flushed and red from the heat and the drinks and you stared for a long while at your reflection before you heard a sound behind you.

You saw a familiar face and Minah smiled at you, clearly drunker than you were. You remembered the drinks the boys at the table had been pushing on her and she bounded in with her arms wide as she hugged you tightly, kissing your cheek over and over as she giggled.

“Youuu--” she slurred and you laughed. “Youngshik likes you. Didn't you tell him you have a boyfriend?”

“It’s not like that Minah. We are just friends.” you responded, all the while thinking of the tense discomfort you felt moments earlier while dancing with him. In the quiet of the bathroom you began feeling a more clear headed now that you were out of the noise and the lights of the bar.

“I think I’m going to go home with Hoseok,” she giggled, “have you seen his ass lately? I’m going to get that.” Her voice was full of drunken confidence and you leaned against the counter as you waited for her to pee and come back out of the stall she had disappeared inside.

“Hoseok? Is he the one with the shiny shirt or the one with the mushroom haircut?”

“Shiny shirt. Mushroom is Minhyuk...although Minhyuk is really fucking hot too. I don't care, either of them would do--” her giggles echoed out from behind the stall, “or both of them.”

“--if I disappear forever tonight, just know that I died a happy woman.”

You both emerged from the sanctity of the ladies room, feeling the stifling heat, the smell of too many patrons in one place and the raucous laughter of drunken mischief surround your head instantly.

“Oh you and your casual hookups...just be careful Minah. You know I need you.” She leaned into your arms around her as she laughed.

“And I need sex sometimes. We can't all be as lucky as you...sex god as a boyfriend and all.” Her voice was loud and you raised your hand to her mouth to silence the ridiculous words she was spewing before she could accidently say his name, or anything else that definitely didn't need to be broadcasted in this place.

She pulled your hand down and gave you a sassy look

“Oh settle down, I may be drunk but I still remember the confidentiality agreement that showed up with a lawyer at my house the day after I met him.”

Her words made you stop your forward movement and you felt her stumble when you suddenly stopped. Her arms around you going slack for a moment before she let go.

She looked into your surprised face before she wrinkled her nose and shook her head, taking a few unstable steps to close the distance between you both.

“I guess you didn't know that part. Yeah, we all got them. Dahee, Jaewoo, Taeil, everyone who knows about you and him--”

Your fuzzy mind was having trouble processing the flood of information you suddenly had thrust at you.

Baekhyun had sent lawyers to your friends and made them sign legal documents? Your expression must have looked worried because you felt her warm arms around you, pulling you in for a tight hug.

“Don't worry about it. You know more than anything I was...impressed,” she rubbed along your back as she hugged you, reassuring you with her words against your ear, “he seems to really love you. The measures he takes to keep you safe and happy feel very genuine.”

You felt her release you and she smiled as you began to soften up some.

You had both reached the tables, walking by groups of classmates who laughed, flirted, even made out with each other and you looked around for Youngshik, feeling a weird unease at not knowing exactly where he was for some reason. You couldn't be sure of the source of this weird feeling, but even significantly dimmed by the alcohol in your system, you were certain that this Youngshik felt different than the one you had been close with all semester.

Was it just the alcohol?

When you sat down at the table you saw your phone right where you had left it and you picked up to check for messages or missed calls.

Honestly you expected at least one message or one call. Something.

But strangely the thing was bare. Not a single message waiting, no notifications pending. Not even a voicemail.

Perhaps you had imagined it. The illumination you were sure you had seen on your phone as you tried to return to the table, only to be pulled back by your drunk dance partner demanding another dance. Was it really just the lights in the club?

You grabbed your phone and glanced around once more, checking for your small change purse that you had stuffed in your pocket with important things like your license and your cash, you stood, suddenly deciding that you needed just a bit of air. Just a bit of a break from this stuffy club and the loud laughter and these two people all over each other in the booth next to you.

The front door of the bar was busy, packed with people filtering in and out and you waited for what felt like forever for a pause in the traffic. Finally you saw an out and you took it, slipping past the people onto the sidewalk outside.

The peace wasn't as overwhelming and instant as you hoped it would be because the crowds of people out here were just as thick, just as drunk and just as obnoxious.

“Hey baby where you going?” A bro with a backwards cap and a ridiculous accent shouted in your direction as you brushed past him, ignoring the laughter that seemed to be cut short suddenly behind you.

Your curiosity was overshadowed by the haze in your vision as you walked and tried to keep your feet moving forward.

The one thing he told you, don't get wasted. And here you were, having completely lost track of the number of drinks you had as you wandered outside of this club alone, desperate for the ground to quit trying to spin away from your legs like that.

The ground wasn't cooperating and you felt your phone buzzing inside the back pocket of your jeans. Waking and finding your phone was too much so you had to stop and lean against the quiet space off to the side of the bar. Nearly in the alleyway, the light from the street lamps provided enough light for you to see ahead of you just fine.

His name flashed across your screen...well the name you had in your phone for him. A leftover from your first meeting, when he showed up in your parents dry cleaning shop with a stained shirt.

“Hello My love...” You held the phone to your ear, feeling the overwhelming love you felt course through you just by seeing him call your phone.

“Where the fuck are you?” His words flew through your ear like a bullet seeking its target and you flinched at the harshness you heard. It was his voice, you were sure of it, but he sounded so tense and worked up that you had to pull the phone away from your ear for a second to control the flare of nerves that rushed through your body.

“W-What do you mean? You know where I am?”

“And Him? Where the fuck is that piece of shit? Do you know what it feels like to--” You could hear the anger now, flooding through the phone and you knew he would be so consumed by it that the words were getting jumbled.

You felt blindsided by it though. Where was this coming from? He had been happy when you last talked to him and he didn't even call you while you had been out.

Your heart sped up inside your chest and you shook your head, trying to make some sense of this sudden mood. This sudden rage that had taken over him again.

He groaned away from the phone and you heard a car horn honking noisily on the line. Was he driving? While this mad? What if something happened to him?

“Would you care to explain to me, why he is answering your phone for you...asking, no fucking demanding to know who the fuck I am and why I would be calling your phone?” His voice dropped to a low growl as he spoke words you couldn't quite make any sense of.

“Who a-answered my p-phone Baekhyun?” Your mind was a mess and your mouth didn't get the words out as smoothly as you wanted, not with him yelling at you like this. You felt nervous and confused and quite drunk to be honest.

“How drunk are you? You sound like you're completely wasted, I can't fucking believe this.” He let out a loud puff of air over the mic of his phone and you could hear the squealing of brakes before he came back on the line from whatever he had done in his car.

“ _‘S-She doesn't have a boyfriend? She's mine now?’_ Did you tell him you didn't have a boyfriend? Why would he say that to me?”

“Who are you talking about Baekhyun? I don't know what you are saying--”

The words cut off when you felt the absence of the phone that laid warmly over your ear just a second before.

Where was his voice? His angry breathing and the sounds of his horn honking and his brakes stopping short? Your hand was empty and you looked behind you as soon as you felt it. The tell-tale presence of someone warm and alive standing behind you.

The surprise of the phone being taken didn't quite compare to the chest trembling shaking that you felt when you heard that same cell phone fly across the alley way you stood in and hit the wall of the opposite building, shattering glass and plastic as it hit.

You shrieked in genuine fear and surprise but that sound was muffled by a hand over your mouth. You felt your legs moving, shoved deeper into the darkness of the alley as the wall behind you came up fast. Too fast, it hit you hard and the sensation of heavy arms over your chest made it hard to breathe.

Your eyes were wide as your heart beat fast in your chest. The fuzziness of the alcohol made your reality swim and you looked ahead into cold glassy eyes as a sick sinking feeling consumed your body.

Eyes that looked familiar, yet so different from the same ones you had seen all semester. Sweet, friendly, smiling and helpful before, but now you saw nothing but coldness. And anger? But...why?

“You just don't get it do you?” Youngshik whispered out in a soft voice against your face. The smell of his breath, acrid and vile up close made your stomach churn and you pushed against the weight of his arms over your chest as you tried to scream.

The sound didn't come out. His hand over your mouth was too tight and the effort made you dizzy. Your hands gripped against them, trying desperately to pull his hands off of you in vain. He was too strong and too blinded by whatever rage was happening inside his head.

“I thought you were smart, but you keep on disappointing me.”  
  
You felt a pain where his arms pushed against your chest, leaning over you too hard now and your faced screwed together in agony. The action felt deliberate, but the look in his eyes was suddenly disconnected as he watched your face. Those eyes moved slowly, taking their time as he watched you up close and you felt your skin crawling as he did it. When he shifted his weight you felt his arm move from the crushing hold it kept over your chest and the weight of his legs moved around yours, pinning you against the wall with strong thighs that kept you from escaping. The heat of his body was on you, making your stomach churn as the nausea took over your body. With the way he pushed up against you like this you felt the unmistakable bulge he pressed against your thigh. You whined and tried to wiggle away from him.

His eyes followed his fingers now, the arm he just freed was trailing lightly along your hairline when you felt him grip roughly, the hair on the side of your head, pushing it hard against the wall.

The pain was intense and you winced as you tried to move in the direction he pulled.

“I gave you so much. I worked so hard for you, helping you as much as I could and for what? What have you given me? Not a thing. But stupid girls like you just don’t get it. I guess should just fucking take it.”  
  
Your cries were still muffled by his hand that grew sweaty now as he partially covered your nose, making you feel dizzier and light headed the longer he did it. The tears streaming from your eyes now added to the wetness of his hand. Your breathing gasped through your nose desperately trying to get some fresh air, anything you could get, but his hand was too tight. Your hand swung out, trying to grab ahold of something, anything. You made contact with skin, somewhere on him, his arm or his face, you couldn't know for sure but each scratch of your nails went ignored.

“All you had to do was break up with him. That’s it. I made it so easy for you. I even used my sister’s stupid fancafe account and her stationary so you would take the threat seriously … when I found out who he was I couldn't fucking believe my luck. She just happened to be one of those stupid morons who in hopelessly in love with that asshole.”

His words had an echo that rattled inside your ears but their truth hit you hard. Had he sold the pictures he had? Was this bomb waiting to drop as soon as that magazine decided to release the proof. But what were the pictures? You didn't doubt Youngshik’s insanity at this point. The lengths he was willing to go to get what he wanted had been made abundantly clear. How damning would those pictures be? Career ending? Cataclysmic and so revealing they would follow Baekhyun around for the rest of his life? Your panic rose inside your chest and you felt the world grow just a little greyer as the ugliness was made more pronounced.

The street lights behind his head in the alley had taken on a flickering behavior, as if they were going out. Blinking in and out over his head the dizziness was changing the longer he kept his hand over your nose and those lights were so dim.

“He’s not even that special. That’s not a real man, I’ll show you a real man--”

You heard a sound. Something loud and something significant so up close and those glassy eyes that had been glaring wicked at you shifted with that sound.

What was that sound? Your eyes tried to open but you were slipping lower, down onto the ground, the rough bricks at your back scraping against your shoulders as you sunk lower until you sat on the floor, dizzy and gasping.

Because you could breathe.  
His hand was gone and you gasped in desperately, filling your lungs with precious air finally, but unable to get enough. It wasn't enough. You needed more, you gasped and choked, filling yours lungs over and over. Your mind was pulled by a sick fleshy sound as you fell forward onto your hands. The trembling in your chest was too much and there was something happening right in front of you.

Something noisy. The sounds of impacting flesh...someone hitting something, or someone, again and again and you then you saw him. He grunted and growled with each punch. His familiar black coat and a facemask over his face, hood over his head and he was on top of that...that.. evil man who had tried to hurt you.

Baekhyun must have pulled him off of you but something felt so wrong with the man you loved. His sweetness was gone. His smiles and laughter were a distant memory as he hit Youngshik, over and over again, the growling you heard from him as he hit had stopped and his breathing echoed out so hard. His eyes were focused and driven as he hit, smashing his fist into the man's face with such force you knew something would break. Whether Baekhyun's fist or Youndshiks face or both.

Baekhyun was gone. He was so consumed with the rage you saw trembling as he pulled up roughly on the bloody faced man, shaking him hard with his fist tight around his collar until his eyes slit open, waking up just enough for another punch.

You stared at the scene before you trying to recognize either man.

“Baekhyun,” you said, finding that your voice worked. The tremors in your body had subsided enough for you to recognize what was happening and you knew you had to stop him.

He had to stop. For his own sake, for the sake of the man you loved, you had to stop him. Before this destroyed him and everything he had worked for his entire life, this had to stop.

“Baekhyun stop,” you said again louder and you caught the tick of his head as he looked up, fist raised mid air. His knuckles were red and bloody and his head turned to you.

Youngshik coughed weakly, spitting out blood from his lips and the grip that Baekhyun had around the man's collar fell, sending the back down onto the pavement with a grunt of pain.

Baekhyun looked down at the man below him before he looked back at you, his eyes changing and clearing the more he saw you and he was moving, scrambling away from the fight, from the violence and from the anger he was moving toward you with his arms outstretched.

“Baby…” his voice was quiet and muffled by the mask and the heavy breathing but his voice was his own.

You felt his hands reach for yours and closer as he crouched before you on his ankles. His hands reached for your face before you saw his eyes glance down at his hands. He winced at the bloody mess of his hands and pulled them back, not touching your skin with his hands like you had wanted him to.

You reached instead. If he wouldn't do it you would and you felt him lean closer when you reached for his waist, slinking your hands under his coat, against the warmth of his body, over the thin tshirt that seemed much too cold for this night.

Baekhyun gave in to your touch and fell down off his ankles onto his knees before you and you felt his warmth wrap tightly around you.

“Shhh…” you heard him whispering over your head and your mind whirled to realize that the crying sound was coming from your own lips.

“Shhh, baby you're okay,” he said as he held you tighter and rubbed harder over your back.

Even now, with the sweat from the fight, the dirt and blood on his hands and the stress from the night you felt it. The complete and undeniable comfort and safety in his warm arms. You breathed in as best you could through the quiet cries that shook your chest and the smell of him filled your senses. Drowning out the fear and the noises erupting around you as people arrived.

“Mr. Byun, Didn't I tell you not to come here alone?” A serious voice spoke over your head. Familiar and accented, you looked up to see Hilda, the woman in charge of security.

Baekhyun didn't respond to her and you felt him pulling you up to your feet, his arms firm and steady around your waist.

“Come on, let's go to the hospital.” He wasn't responding to Hilda or to anyone else from the group of men in black suits that asked him questions.

You heard Hilda’s voice again, the curt all business way she spoke made you open your eyes again.

“You must not go to back to your car. There are crowds now. People have been taking pictures. It's not exactly a conspicuous car… your name is already being circulated on twitter” .

“What about the ones I hit,” he responded.

“The driver of the motorcycle on the sidewalk and the other parked car have already been dealt with,” she let out an exasperated sigh as her eyes narrowed in his direction. “But did you really have to drive on the sidewalk? This is such a mess.”

“And what would have happened to her if I waited behind with you? I don't pay you to follow the fucking traffic laws, I pay you to protect my family,” he snapped and you saw the glance the woman gave you before she shut her mouth with a small nod of her head.

“Give me your car.”

She nodded and lifted her eyebrows in the direction of a black sedan that was parked in the alley.

“At least let me drive,” she said.

The first steps felt uneasy and you leaned into him, not quite getting why you felt so weak. Was this just from the alcohol. Perhaps you were in shock from the attack.

“Can you walk?” He said above your head and your feet stumbled against themselves.

He bent down and you were flying. Lifted so high into the air you felt swaying and the breeze along your face, your arms wrapped around his neck and you felt the dizziness take over as you slumped against his shoulder, nuzzling into his neck, you craved his warmth and his smell. Anything that would tell you you were safe with him now. That he was okay and that you were okay.

“Me. Byun I will take her to the hospital. Please you should leave before someone sees you.” A low voice you didn't know spoke with authority and you felt his grip tighten around you.

“Absolutely not. She doesn't leave me.”

The path to the car took you by by the man who did this. He was awake and sitting up against the wall, what looked like a private doctor for hire examining him, asking him questions with big scary looking men with suits and ear pieces looming over them. Next to the men stood another man in a police uniform. Strangely silent and uninvolved, you wondered if the policeman was real or if he was just there to look real. He definitely didn't feel like a policeman the way he ignored you, not even bothering to take any statement from you before you were taken away. He didn't once look up at Baekhyun as he carried you away, despite having clearly been involved in this fight that left the other guy so broken and hurt.

Youngshik looked dazed and hurt and you watched until he moved. You stiffened and gasped when his dark eyes looked up at you.

“Don’t look at him, love,” Baekhyun whispered into your ear and you closed your eyes tightly.

Hilda drove quickly and you found your mind drifting as you laid against his chest in the back seat of the car and listened to his heartbeat.

You must have fallen asleep because you woke hours later in a hospital bed with an awful taste in your mouth. You lifted your hand, feeling the tug of the IV in your hand and you heard voices you recognized.

Weird words were thrown around and the dizziness in your head was fading as you listened.

You heard the word _drugged_ and _lucky_ and you searched searched for the source of the voices.

Baekhyun and your mom stood at the foot of the bed speaking with a doctor in a white coat and you moaned at the pain you felt in your head.

Their three faces turned and you were rushed upon by your mom who reached for your hand, squeezing tight as she looked closely at your face, asking a million questions in only one breath that made you blink wide at the woman as you willed her to speak quieter.

“If Baekhyun hadn't been there--” She was crying now and from the look of her puffy eyes, this wasn't the first time tonight.  
  
His hand was on her shoulder and she rose quickly to wrap her arms around her neck as she wept and muttered her sincere thanks. He hugged her tight, catching your eyes for a moment before he closed them. Swallowing away the pain you saw behind those eyes with his closed lids.

The fuss died down and you were made to eat something that you could only choke down half of. Your mom left making him promise to take care of you and soon you found yourself sitting up in the bed with his eyes watching you silently.

Baekhyun looked tired. His hair was flat and lifeless against his forehead and his right hand had bandages over the knuckles.

“Did you crash your car?” You broke your own silence and he licked his lips and swallowed before he blinked with a small nod of his head.

“Yeah, a little bit.” His eyes were still on you, a strange look in them. Neither admonishing or disappointed, he looked at you with what you could only describe as a silent reverie of thanksgiving.

He had been there.

You felt the emotions sneaking up on you as he looked at you. He leaned forward with his lips parted and let out a quiet exhale of breath before his hands lifted and he covered his face with both of them. His elbows rested on your bed, near your hand with the painful IV and you reached your fingers out to graze against his arm. Lightly touching, feeling the warmth of man you loved more than anything else in the whole world.

He let out a quiet, nearly inaudible gasp and his shoulders began to tremble. He was so silent as he wept.

He has been so strong and you felt the pain inside your chest as he gave in to it. The fear, the stress, the near tragedy of it, he withstood it like a pillar of strength.

Yet with you, at your hospital bed without another soul present, he could finally break down.

“I thought… I thought I wouldn't make it in time.” Muffled by his hands over his face and by the quiet sobs, you made barely out his words.

“Don't...don't you scare me like this again, I can't --” he pulled his hands down and wiped the tears from his face. His lips trembled and his nose was red and you wiped the tears from your own face.

“I can't live without you. It's not just that I don't want to, I can't.” He stood and leaned over you and you felt the wetness on his cheeks before you felt his lips on yours, pressing down hard, paying no attention to the tears and the wetness that dropped from your nose now, he kissed you firmly and with meaning.

When he pulled away you heard a bell chime. He was reaching for tissues and he held the box out for you when he pulled his phone out of his pocket. Absentmindedly wiping at his face with a tissue now.

His eyes took in the information on his phone.

And you saw the way they flew wide when he registered something and you felt a different kind of tension building inside your chest with his next words.

“The pictures are out.”


	28. Chapter 28

“The pictures are out.”

Those four words held so much power. You felt a definite tremor inside your chest as you watched Baekhyun’s face closely. He had looked up into your eyes when he said it and his hand gripped his phone. It jumped around as he waited for something to load, staring down at the small screen with his eyes darting around and his bottom lip held tightly between his teeth.  
  
His mouth opened when his eyes stopped their dancing around the screen and he focused on what he saw on front of him.

He saw it.

A small puff of air exhaled through his parted lips and he closed his eyes as he dropped the phone away from his face. He was breathing louder now, noisy puffs of air came out of his lungs and he sighed one deep long sigh as he threw his head back, his chin lifted high in the air and eyes closed tight. What was that look on his face? Why wasn't the showing you? He was driving you crazy with nerves.

“Baek--” you pleaded and sat up higher in the hospital bed you were sitting in. You felt the tug against your IV in the back of your hand and you ignored the sting.

His face changed slowly and you heard his breathing even out as the corners of his lips pulled into a smile. The smile grew wider and you felt something wash over you, something you almost didn't dare to hope for, as you reached for his hand that still held his cell phone. The screen was still illuminated and you felt him give in to you, releasing the phone into your hand you scrambled for it, needing to see with your own eyes what had him smiling and sighing out in deep relief.

The image on his screen was of low quality and it was an image of a couple taking a selfie. Someone had put a digital sticker over the woman’s face, covering her identity entirely but the man in the picture was….a different member of EXO. It wasn't Baekhyun.

You stared at the silly face Kim Jongdae, known to his fans as Chen was making in the picture with his arm around the shoulders of the unknown woman and you moved your finger over the screen, finding one more picture that looked nearly identical. The feeling of relief washed over you, making you sigh out loud just as Baekhyun has done moments earlier.

At the top of the screen was a screenshot of the article that read _“EXO member Chen’s Dating Scandal”_. The first lines captured in the screenshot mentioned how the pictures had been released from the friend of an ex that dated the idol.

“B-But…” You said quietly as you looked up into his face with a slightly confused feeling inside you, “I thought Young--”

“Don't say his name--” Baekhyun interrupted you with his finger pointed in your direction and a stern look on his face and your lips snapped shut. “That name doesn't deserve to be on your lips.”

“The note said he had pictures.” You said quietly after a moment and you felt Baekhyun's hand reach for your own, linking his fingers between yours. He watched you as you found your words, sitting back down in stiff chair that sat next to your bed.

“Let's not worry about him anymore huh? He will be taken care of. I’m not going to let him or anyone hurt you ever again.” His eyes held the kind of sincerity that you could believe. That you would have believed over and over again. You knew he meant the words he was saying and you nodded after a moment. Vowing inside that you would do the same for him as best as you could. You would protect him as well, even if that meant protecting this beautiful heart you had fallen so in love with.

His phone buzzed a few times and you glanced down seeing messages pop up in the EXO group chat. He glanced down briefly but ignored the rapid flow of words from members discussing the latest issue.

A knock sounded on the door and He sat up straighter in the chair, expecting a nurse or doctor to come in doing their usual rounds.

The door opened slowly and you saw the top of your Dad’s head peak through the doorway.

Baekhyun stood up right way, straight and proper with his hands to his side, you watched as he bowed a deep greeting to your father who slowly walked through the door carrying what seemed to be food from home. Food you mom must have packed up and sent with him. He set the bundle down at a table near the door and Baekhyun stepped back and away from the bed, giving the man plenty of room to pass by.

Your dad. Your sweet dad who taught you the value of hard work. The man who showed you what it meant to be loved and respected by another human being. The man who, although he didn't speak a whole lot, always found the words to tell you that he loved you, and made sure you knew it. He always made you promise you would never forget that fact. As sure as you were certain of various unchangeable facts about the world...the sky was blue, the earth was round, your daddy loved you, trusted you and would always be there to protect you...or so he had always told you.

Perhaps the hardest part of growing up is learning this part, that sometimes...sometimes he couldn't protect you from everything.

His eyes were on you as he made his way inside the room and you could feel the lump that formed in your throat when he reached you. He looked tired and frail. Something you didn't usually notice in you dad. He was the strongest person you knew and you liked to think you got much of your strength from him. But his shoulders were slumped down and as if he carried the weight of a thousand loads of laundry on his back as he made his way, taking step after agonizing step until he reached his destination.

The look in his eyes is what did it. Worry, pain, confusion, relief and you swallowed all few times, willing the burning in your eyes to subside. You sniffed at your nose, trying to calm the storm of emotions that threatened to burst through.

“Mom sent me with some food for you both,” his voice was gruff sounding and you could hear the emotion as he inhaled a trembling breath, trying to control his emotions and act strong for you.

But his eyes were wet and the fluttering way he wouldnt quite hold your eye contact pulled at your heart.

“Dad, I’m okay--” You felt a tear slip out, despite your efforts and he cleared his throat noisily as he reached forward and cupped your cheek, eyes glancing over your body as if to verify that you were as uninjured as you claimed to be. His gaze lingered over the tubes that led to the IV stuck in your hand and the various bandages on your other arm where the nurses had taken blood throughout the night.

“Shh, don't cry or I’ll cry too. You don't want to make your daddy cry do you?” He leaned down and you felt the soft kiss he placed on your forehead with a tremble in his lips and the sniffle of his nose as he rose up.

“Well--” he took a step back, nodding his head lightly at what he had verified with his own eyes. You were alive. You were unharmed despite the trauma of the attack which was likely to leave a mark and the man wasn't usually much for useless waiting around. He would be ready to leave soon.

”--I’d better head back home.”

Your dad...he was a man of few words and a man of even less free time or so he liked to claim as sat on his sofa in front of his soccer game complaining about the length of the commercials

He spun, ready to leave with his usual quickness and you saw him take a few steps before he stopped walking suddenly. You saw Baekhyun’s head tick in his direction, alert and acutely aware of the man’s presence in the room.

Your dad’s journey to the exit stalled and he turned in Baekhyun’s direction. Your boyfriend had been standing at near attention with his hands behind his back, trying to not witness your dad’s moment of weakness yet unable to actually leave the room out of respect for the man. He couldn't just run away, that would have been worse. Baekhyun's eyes widened as your dad took another step in his direction and his whole body stiffened up when you dad reached where Baekhyun stood like a statue. Frozen in surprise and uncertainty. You could see the questions written all over Baekhyun’s face and you even wondered what would come of this. Would your dad be upset? Possible having heard the details of the threat against you, a threat against Baekhyun and his valuable career, having used his girlfriend to somehow get to him? He couldn't have possibly misunderstood the situation and would now blame Baekhyun would he? Surely not, your dad was more sensible than that. It had been clear that the man who did this...who tried to hurt you was after you, not Baekhyun.

Your dad reached for Baekhyun with both arms outstretched, moving past the wide eyes and the look of panic on his face and he wrapped big arms around his shoulders as he pulled him in for a tight hug.

You heard a startled gasp from your boyfriend's lips when it happened.

The hug was as quick as expected and when your dad released Baekhyun from his grip he looked into his startled face, lifting a hand to pat his cheek once softly and sweetly. You saw the smile on your dad's face and the softening of Baekhyun’s expression as it changed from fear to a soft smile with lips parted and a quiet exhale of breath. Relief mingled with the emotions that flashed across Baekhyun’s face and he bit down on his bottom lip to keep his face controlled. You knew what that rapid blinking of his eyes meant.

“Thank you...for being there.” Your dad whispered to him, his hand still resting over his sweet face and Baekhyun watched your dad’s face for a moment.

“I’m thankful I was able to, Sir.” He said in a quiet voice.

“Dad,” the older man corrected your boyfriend and his eyes widened a hair as he glanced in your direction. You noticed the pink in his cheeks and he looked back at your dad as he patted his face a few more times and dropped his hand.

“D-Dad.” The sacred word, brand new and delicate, said in in Baekhyun’s own voice echoed out like a bell through your mind and you both watched in silent awe as your father turned and silently left the room.

The silence of his departure lingered long after the door closed and your attention was pulled to Baekhyun, who stared at the closed door for a long while before shaking his head clear of the daze and turning to walk back to you.

He was looking down at the floor and when he finally pulled his eyes up to look at you his lips pulled into a tiny smile that you returned.

“Hey--” he spoke suddenly after a few moments of thought.

“What do you think about taking a trip with me?” He was fidgeting with your blanket with the tips of his fingers, working the seam of the blanket between his thumb and middle finger over and over as his eyes watched the fabric move. His top lip was pulled in between his teeth and the casual tone in his voice sounded just a bit false.

“Sure,” you said instantly and his eyes shot up straight into yours with your quick and easy response.

“Sure?” His eyebrows were up in surprise as he pulled his chin down. “No… _’Where? When?....How?’_...just _‘Sure.’_?”

“I trust you.” You shrugged and his amused smile widened against his will as he puffed out a small laugh.

“Okay...sure,” he said.

\---------

The trip didn't come for a while. The sub unit debut happened and then there was a christmas album released by EXO and you began to lose all hope that he would get any stretch of time off to be able to get a full night’s sleep let along steal away with you on a secret romantic getaway, but just when you’d nearly forgotten that he had even mentioned it you got a string of text messages from him. Messages asking you if you preferred sun or snow. You chose sandy beaches over cold snow covered mountain tops and he told you to make sure you passport was up to date because the trip was on. He was getting a solid week and a half off after the christmas album promotions were finished.

You were a little bothered that you had to fly alone, but he had promised Chanyeol he would snowboard with him at some ski resort for the first two days of their time off and you videos they posted on Instagram for the fans to see made you smile to see them having some well deserved fun together.

The flight out of the country was uneventful and you landed in some foreign country for your connecting flight to your final destination, some small island in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea that you only half paid attention to during high school geography class. You boarded your connecting flight, finding your seat easily enough and you sat down in the comfy first class seat with plenty of legroom and you said a silent word of thanks to him for paying the extra cost for the comfort, despite the fact that you put up a bit of a fuss for him spending so much money on this trip. What could you do about it though? He had already bought the tickets before you even began to ask if he was going to be splurging on unnecessary things like first class when you were perfectly fine with flying coach. He did what he wanted when it came to his money and the fancy ass brand spanking new laptop he gave you for christmas was evidence of that fact.

Passengers shuffled in, walking mostly past your section toward the back of the plane and you eyed the seat next to you, secretly hoping it would stay empty and you wouldn't have to worry about trying to communicate with someone in a language you didn't speak well. Those hopes were dashed when someone stopped in front of your row, paused as if checking their seat number on the ticket and then noisily plopping down into the empty seat with a loud sigh.

A loud sigh that you felt inside your bones because that sigh was … it was...

He turned to face you. Hood up, black facemask over his face and his eyes smiled at you as he arched a single eyebrow at your surprised face.

You covered your mouth to try and stifle the loud laugh that left your chest. You were genuinely surprised. Baekhyun had told you that he would meet you at the airport in Cyprus, not on your connecting flight in Hong Kong. You had no reason to doubt him, he even mapped out the Cyprus airport with a little heart drawn in the exact location where you would find him waiting for you.

“Excuse me Miss, is this seat taken?” His flirty voice broke through the noise of the airline engine and you giggled harder as you shook your head, suddenly very excited about the next 10 or so hours until your destination.

The flight departed and Baekhyun was your favorite travel companion. He was very used to long flights and had a bag full of things to keep you and him entertained, but your favorite was when he pulled out a deck of cards to play poker.

If there was one thing you knew about him, it was than when playing games, Byun Baekhyun was a filthy cheater. At first everything was going well and you even found yourself up. He used his phone to keep track of the “winnings”, playing with small amounts, a few cents here and there to keep things from bankrupting you, but the longer you played the more you noticed the man seemed to be full of aces. Literally you actually caught him pull one out from under his leg and after that all bets were off. You were done playing sweet and you decided to up the stakes. His maniacal giggling during your body search for more hidden cards only made you want it more.

Instead of betting money, you graduated to small punishments, little things like a flick in the forehead or having to ask the flight attendant an embarrassing question.

You had to cover your head with your blanket when he asked the sweet woman if she had any diarrhea medicine and you felt his hand slipping below the blanket to pinch at your leg when your laughter became too loud.

Once his hand found its way below your blanket, the hours and hours you both still had to spend in these comfy airline seats seemed like some sort of a test in self control, of which Baekhyun didn't have a whole lot of. His tickling fingers inched higher and higher up your thigh until you had to shoot him a dirty look, reminding him in a close whisper into his ear that although these fully lay-flat fancy seats gave the illusion of privacy, you were exactly the quietest partner once he got his hands on you and this was a flight full of strangers who would not hesitate to have you both arrested for indecent behavior.

This threat seemed to work a little bit but you could still see it in his eyes every time he looked at you.

The game changed after that. Not even about the cards or even placing bets, it was only about winning and the dares changed and grew riskier as the look in his eye grew darker.

You'd just lost a round and you looked down at his three queens and your pair of kings with a grumpy frown as you waited for him to decide.

“Let me see your bra. Lift up your shirt.” He whispered his prize and you looked at him with wide eyes and a slack jaw.

“Baek, there are like 200 people on this flight.” You said in a harsh whisper and you saw him lift his shoulders and drop them with a ‘not-my-problem’ look on his face.  
  
“Hey-” he pointed his long finger at you with accusing eyes, “--you just made me describe….in improvised song...what it feels like when I cum. You have to do this.” You snorted into your hand remembering the way his eyebrows screwed together and his face grew pink as he tried to rework the chorus for the song Transformer, changing the words after the surprisingly fitting _tick tick boom boom ‘bout to blow_ to fit the description of a male orgasm. You had give it to him...his musicality was impressive. He pulled it off well and didn't even laugh as he sang. He did whisper the some of the riskier words like _dick_ and _cum_.

“You can do it under the blanket but I get to use my phone as a flashlight. And I get a nipple.” You heard the excited amusement in his voice now and you crossed your arms over your chest in defiance.

“I'll tell you what, when we get land I'll give you something better for winning but I'm not doing this. I don't want to get arrested in a foreign country.”

This got his attention and he turned to look at you, suddenly interested in your offer.

“Something better? Like what? What better?”

You looked into his eager eyes as you considered.

“Okay, I will let you pick one,” you began and he shuffled the cards noisily and expertly as if he had been dealing blackjack in a casino for ten years. These cards looked well worn and broken in and you wondered how many games they had seen on long flights. “You can say to me…what you've been dying to say to me about Kim Youngshik. That thing I made you swore you wouldn't say to me. ”

The cards stopped moving and he looked into your face with a serious expression behind his eyes that told you he had absolutely no doubt about what four words he was absolutely dying to tell you since it happened. You could feel them in his eyes as he watched you and as soon as the charges were filed against Youngshik and the evidence list grew and grew you could see the great efforts it had taken to keep his mouth shut about it.

“Or?” He lifted an eyebrow as he waited. “Or, I’ll give you a blow job.” You said flippantly looking down at the new hand he was dealing already as he gave you the cards one by one.

“Here?” He said in a scandalous tone and you shot him a look he should have known very well by now.

“At the hotel Baekhyun.”

He was biting down on his lip as his eyebrows wrinkled over his eyes and you saw him flipping through his cards as he half paid attention to his hand, and half considered his choices.

“I want to say the thing,” he said after a few moments and you could hear the confidence behind his choice. “I’ll win a blow job on my next hand.” He added and you laughed as you shook your head and looked down at the best hand you’d had the entire flight.

“Can I do it now?” He said suddenly and you shrugged, setting down your awesome flush carefully so the cards wouldn't show. You nodded your head. He could do it. You were ready and you knew it was true anyway.

“I told you so.” His eyes were on your now. “I was right about that asshole. I fucking knew it. I told you so.”

You had braced for it, and honestly it wasn't that bad now that it was out. Because he was right. He had told you again and again and you denied it and doubted the gut feeling he had about the guy.

You sighed, feeling the tension leave your shoulders now that the words were out of him because honestly he had been on the verge of those words for quite a while now and it was starting to drive you crazy.

“I mean… the clues were all over the place. But I saw through him right away. The way I picked that note apart, I mean...can I call myself a genius or is that too much?” He was still talking and you looked at your cards with the flush that would surely beat anything he had in his own hand.

“--at least I'm a great detective. People say Batman is the world's greatest detective...but Baekman is the true greatest detective. I wonder if I can get this on a shirt...OH we can get couple shirts. Baekman--” You began to zone out as he rambled and you laid your cards back down on your lap as you waited for him to finish, momentarily nodding your head to let him know that _yes, he was right all along_ and _yes he had told you so all along._

When he finally stopped talking you looked back into his face, with his cheeks a little pink from having gotten worked up about his little speech and he had stopped talking suddenly as he watched you nod your head and agree with him. His eyebrows furrowed and he pouted his lips.

“This doesn't feel satisfying enough. Agree with me.” You nearly spit your water that you sipped out when you laughed and you quickly nodded your head at him.

“I do agree with you. You absolutely told me so.” Your voice was casual and he narrowed his eyes at you.

“And I was right, say that part.” You sighed before you could continue. His pettiness was unmatched by anyone else in this entire world.

“Oh great genius detective Baekman, you were right all along. If only I had trusted you and believed in you none of this mess would have happened.” You tried your very hardest to keep the sarcasm out of your voice but he didn't buy it and he scoffed as he looked away for a moment and he pulled at the blanket that had been sitting on your lap.

Your cards went flying onto the floor in front of you and you gasped as you watched your flush land face up for him to see.

His eyes flew down and he quickly reached for the cards, he recognizing their value you watched in horror as he stacked the deck of cards up quickly and declared the poker game over.

The rest of the flight passed with watching movies together, holding hands and quiet chitchat under blankets as you both tried in vain to get some sleep.

By the time you finally drifted off you were almost instantly roused to prepare for landing.

The walk through the airport made you nervous. Your heart pounded and you looked around nervously for any sign that he was recognized. He wore his hoodie, a black cap and a facemask pulled tight around his face and you were sure to keep a few steps behind him all the way to baggage claim. Your flight had landed late at night and perhaps the weariness of the day had made everyone less aware, or perhaps EXO wasn't popular here. Hardly anyone paid any attention to him at all and you eventually began to relax when you noticed a young blonde girl wearing a familiar looking shirt. Sure enough, you noticed her white sweater with the EXO logo and the letters D.O. on the back above the number 12.

From your advantage you could see her walking slowly and perpendicular to where he was walking just beyond a pillar next to the baggage claim and she seemed to be glued to her cell phone. Baekhyun was walking fast and if he kept this pace the two would definitely collide with each other. You moved your legs faster and jumped in front of where he walked, holding your hand out behind your back with your finger pointed to the left as a signal to him. He instantly took a turn and walked on the other side of another pillar just as the fan passed by their previous crossing spot.

You kept your eyes out for any other problems as you both retrieved your own bags and waited for a cab to take you to the hotel.

The hotel, was not a hotel at all, but it seemed that Baekhyun had rented out a beach home. A luxurious only a few meters from the sandy shore complete with a covered patio, swimming pool and beautiful accommodations inside to surely spoil you rotten. The weather was perfect, neither too hot nor too cold and you appreciated the cool night breeze floating in off the sea.

“There's a carnival in town. Maybe we could go tomorrow.” Baekhyun was leafing through a local magazine left on the kitchen counter of the rental home as you unpacked your clothes and shook out the light dresses you brought along for the beachy weather. He watched you out of the corner of his eyes as he leafed through the magazine, hardly glancing at the pages as they flew by. Simply watching didn't quite describe the eagle-eyed focus he had on you as you tried to unpack. You could tell something was up with him. Perhaps this was leftover from the flight.

“Are you sure you won't be recognized?” You couldn't help the worry in your voice. The two of you couldn't go out at all back home. Public was always a danger where he was concerned.

“It'll be fine. There are probably a total of two EXO fans on this whole island. If we go during the day it'll most likely just be older folks.” You shook your head in understanding and bent over to reach the open bag on the floor, being sure you do it in front of where he was staring at you. If he was going to stare, he should be given something to look at. You pulled off the outer sweater you wore, knowing that the shirt you wore beneath it was sheer and fitted. He had wanted to see your bra after all. It was easy to see through this shirt. You wore the black lacy one for him today.

“Besides...I want to see you in the sunlight for once.” He was speaking casually but his voice sounded just a bit lower and thicker.

You pulled your toiletries out of your bag and moved to the bathroom to set them out for the week and Baekhyun followed you to the doorway of the bathroom. He was still watching you as you moved with an unreadable expression that seemed to be darkening the longer he stared and when you turned to look at him holding a shampoo bottle in your hand you saw him bite down on his lip.

“I think you're doing this on purpose,” he said.

“Doing what?” You lifted a single brow and tried to keep your grin hidden. He didn't buy your false innocence.

“Asking me to fuck you without asking me to fuck you,” he said and you had to close your eyes. This man could always read you too well.

He moved suddenly, taking the bottle out of your hand quickly he set it down on the counter and grabbed your face, his hands on both of your cheeks he pulled you into him, into his mouth and you felt his lips descend on yours.

You were only slightly surprised by it and you gave in, feeling the leftover effects of the plane ride and the tension you had felt then. When you couldn't touch him all you wanted. His hands were around your waist and he pulled you out of the bathroom. His lips still on yours, his kiss was needy and hungry and you were walking forward as he pulled you into the bedroom with the huge glass windows that overlooked the moonlit sea. You were spun around by the strong arms of a demanding man.

You felt the backs of your knees reach the foot of the bed and his arms wrapped around your waist pulling your shirt up over your head in one swift motion and his hands were at the waist of your pants, pushing them down. The faster his hands moved the more you felt the urgency in this and you moved just as quickly slipping your hands inside his waistband to rid him of his clothes as well.

You felt the rough push he gave into you that sent you falling down on your back on the plush bed. In a flash of movement he was crawling over your body as you fell backwards. His hands moved up your legs between your thighs which parted greedily. You needed him to touch you, you wanted it so badly you felt like begging and he smirked as you whined and writhed below him on the bed.

“Do you have any idea how good you smell? I couldn't touch you or kiss you or fuck you for 10 whole hours. I thought I was going to go crazy.” His words were a growl that went into your ear and send a jolt of arousal down your spine.

He hovered over you and you angled your hips upward reaching for where he kept just out of reach.

“Do you want this? Because I'm not going to be nice.” You were beyond pretending at this point and you nodded your head quickly, feeling the desperation hit you hard.

When he rolled this hips you felt his warmth and harness against your thigh where his hands had been rubbing agonizing circles just out of reach of your center. You whined in complaint and he chuckled once before he gave in to you and you felt his finger reach the space between your legs where you were the wettest.

His fingers were followed by hardness and he ran the head of his cock within your folds before he pushed inside in one fluid motion that nearly made your head spin. You screamed and he pulled out and pushed inside again, fast enough to make you lurch up on the bed with his powerful thrusts. You felt his hands grip your thighs and he pulled you back down each time you were pushed upward.

The love was hasty, noisy, needy and demanding. The results of a long flight and stretched out frustrations from being apart for so long. Where his lips touched your skin his teeth bit down hard. Where his moans reached your ear you heard the animalistic growls and when he pushed inside of your wetness he did it fast and rough, making you cry out in surprise at his unyielding pace.

Flesh slapped against flesh, punctuated by the slick sounds of your wetness, your arousal heightened by his mood. You clawed at his back with your nails as he fucked you, urging him to go faster and harder despite the pain. Leading him with the the pain you caused in his skin that you were sure would leave red marks.

The wave that came over you hit you all at once and when you squeezed around him you felt him stiffen and cry out loud, quickly pulling out so he could cum of your belly, sticky white stands flew up higher, landing in drops over your breasts that rose and fell with your deep breaths and he grunted with each burst until he went still hovering over you, panting hard through parted lips as his eyes took in the mess. The darkness lingered in those eyes, making your skin feel hotter the longer he looked at you.

You lifted a finger, trailing it over the wetness on your belly and brought it up to your lips for a taste...the bitter taste of his cum hit your senses and his eyes watched you move, his breath puffing out in bursts through his open mouth.

“You like that?” He asked in a low whisper and you nodded your head as you held onto the darkness in his eyes.

You felt him move, maddened by the sight of what you had done he dipped his head and you felt his tongue lapping up the sticky drops of his cum that had landed on your breasts, taking the liquid onto the tip of his tongue and his mouth was on yours, pushing deep into your mouth, bitterness flooded your tongue and you sucked on him, swallowing away what he offered until you only tasted his mouth. You heard a soft whimper that echoed against your face as you did it and his eyes opened above you, staring into your own for a long while as his breathing slowly settled down and evened back out.

He rolled onto his back, off of you, with a noisy grunt and he reached for his boxers that had landed somewhere on the bed, quickly wiping your stomach free of the rest of his mess before he tossed them onto the floor of the room.

You reached for him and he reached for you at the same time as he laid down and you could feel the sleepiness overcoming you. Satisfied at last and tired from the trip you felt yourself drifting to the steady sounds of his breathing which sounded so even already. Was he sleeping? So fast?

You didn't fight it either.

When you awoke, the sun was up and there was a soft singing in your ear that pulled you out of your sleep. The song was familiar and slower than usual and when you opened your eyes, temporarily blinded by the bright sun shining through the windows, you finally focused on Baekhyun’s face. His eyes were closed and he was resting on the pillow right next to your head and his lips were moving as he sang slowly. _’--oh baby baby baby--’_ the words were different now. _’--everytime you’ve got me horny--’_ They were dirtier than before and he definitely looked less embarrassed to be saying them.

“Tick tick boom boom--” his voice sang out slowly and sweetly and you saw the corners of his mouth pull into the smile he couldn't at all keep controlled.

“--’bout to blow,” you whispered in response and you heard a snort as he laughed louder and his chest vibrated with the giggles that overtook him and shook the bed.

\----------

The carnival was more like a traveling fair. The vendors all spoke just enough English for you to be able to communicate just enough to get by and Baekhyun’s English was heavily accented but better than you thought it would be. When he didn't understand something he had this cute way of grinning widely with exaggerated blinking eyes until the other person just gave up and you died each time he did it. There were stands with food, delicious things that were fried and terrible for you and you shared everything with him. The crowds were thin and not a single person gave him a second glance. You felt relieved and excited all at the same time, to actually be out with him in a public place, having fun like this.

There were stands selling drinks, some alcoholic, some not and you noticed the majority of people walked around with something to drink, either beer or what seemed to be a fruity wine. The day was young and Baekhyun shrugged and bought a couple of drinks, commenting that you would both probably walk for a long time here and would just burn it off.

The drinks were good, and strong. You felt the effects of the alcohol right away and you felt the mood lifting significantly as his giggles seemed to intensify along with your own.

The carnival games you both played seemed to be getting harder and harder the more you drank, and did you have a fresh one in your hand? You wondered where that came from. But not for long because Baekhyun had just won you a stuffed hippopotamus while playing some ring toss game that you were sure would have been rigged. It was cute and had a crooked nose and you hugged it tightly with a wide smile. You named him Pippo the Hippo and Baekhyun repeated the name at least ten times quickly trying to get the pronunciation right.

He must be been drunk. You definitely were by this point.

You stumbled upon a new game, getting caught up by the shiny lights and pink hearts that decorated the entire entrance. _Lover’s Lane_ the sign read and you grabbed his arm as he nearly walked past it.

“Look--” you pointed with excitement on your face and he looked up at the sign with curious eyes. When you turned back toward the game you felt the world spin just a bit and you stumbled when he was pulling you into the entrance. Was it a game, or a ride? You couldn't be sure because its was dark inside and the world was too spinny.

There was a small old woman inside who looked at both of your faces and your eyes adjusted catching her sweet smile as she grabbed both of your arms.

“Welcome,” she said in a slow voice and you looked up into Baekhyun's face as he stared ahead into the woman's eyes. He was blinking harder, trying to focus.

“Are you lovers?” The woman asked and Baekhyun nodded his head once, understanding her question. She looked at you and you nodded with a shy smile.

“Is this a game?” Baekhyun said after a moment and she smiled wider in response, pulling him by the arm into a back room and leaving him behind. When she returned, your head was swimming and you found yourself thrust into a different room with dresses. All white, all frilly and lacy and you understood suddenly. The cameras in the front, the threshold. It was a pretend wedding. For pictures as souvenirs. You quickly threw on the first dress that fit, picking out a silly hat and a huge bouquet of flowers and you emerged anxious to greet your groom.

His tux was bright green and he wore a top hat and a fake moustache that had you doubling over in laughter when you saw it. The man looked ridiculous and he reached for your hand and twirled your around in circles too fast, making you yelp at the sudden nausea that hit you from the alcohol and the spinning.

You felt dazed. The woman shouted instructions at you as if she were a professional and you were employees and you did your best to follow her instructions. It was harder to do when you were so drunk and Baekhyun kept dropping his mustache until he gave up and left it off. The camera was out and pictures were snapped and you were both out the door as soon as you returned the clothing. The game had been silly but strangely fun and fulfilling in its own weird way and the pictures would be a fun reminder of today.

With Pippo the Hippo under your arm you returned to your temporary home with Baekhyun. The place that would be all yours to share for the next week. The buzz from the alcohol was slowly fading and he was on his phone looking for somewhere to order food from. Thankfully the delivery game in this country was strong and you were greeted with hot meals that took the last of the drunkenness from your mind.

You excused yourself to the bathroom to clean up and when you came out Baekhyun was standing at the kitchen counter with a crumbled up folded sheet of paper in his hands as he read it very closely.

He didn't look up at you when you came back into the room and you wondered what had drawn his attention so completely.

“Umm..” he spoke up while still holding the paper and you noticed his cheeks looked pinker than usual.

It must have been the paper in his hands. What was that?

You heard a sigh and he ran a hand through his hair and you noticed the tremble as he cleared his throat loudly.

“Uhh...You--” he said again, sounding very nervous all of a sudden. “--you need to look at this.” There was an exhale from his mouth and you felt your stomach drop at the sudden seriousness you heard in his voice. His face was flushed, his hands were shaking and he sounded terrified right now.

You walked up next to him, needing to see what he was seeing, yet terrified all of a sudden of seeing for your own eyes what had shaken him up so much.

His hand was shaking too much for you to read what he was holding in front of your face so he dropped it quickly and it fluttered to the kitchen counter. His hands were on the edge of the counter and he leaned forward with a loud groan from deep within his chest.

Why was he moaning like that?

“Baek--what?”

He stood up with a shaking finger, pointing at the sheet of paper that was crumbled up and torn at the bottom.

“R-Read that.” He looked like he was about to be sick.

You looked down and you saw the words on the sheet of paper. A receipt from “ _Lover’s Lane”_ , the carnival game with the pretend marriage photoshoot, was stapled to the top of the sheet he had been reading. On the paper were signatures. Yours, his and the old woman’s only the wording was weird.

And the title at the top that read “Marriage Certificate” with legal sounding words swearing the witnessing of yours and his marriage in front of the woman who seemed to be some sort of a Priestess. The bottom of the paper was torn off and missing. Where was the rest of the paper? Your fingers carefully unfolded the very very bottom, reading the beginnings of the statement you saw there. There was something important down there that you saw, but it was legal speak and it seemed like maybe your answer to what in the fuck was going on was down there.

 _”This is a carnival game and this marriage is not legally binding un--”_ you read it outloud. Where was the rest? You flipped the paper over to the back, hopping yet knowing that there was nothing there. Definitely not the missing part of that sentence. He was watching you out of the corner of his eyes as he gripped the counter with his hands.

“Un...Un--what Baekhyun Un-what? Did we just get married?”

He saw the missing section you were referring to and the search was on. His pockets and your pockets were emptied and you began searching the floor of the kitchen. You got desperate when the rest of that paper was nowhere to be found and you went to the trash can. The remains from the lunch you had eaten were in there and you dug through searching for any small scrap of paper that matched the missing piece of that very scary, very legal looking document on the kitchen counter.

Baekhyun’s voice shouted out in what sounded like a whiney scream from somewhere in the livingroom.

“Ahhh-- _UNNN--ntil this certificate is filed with the appropriate county clerk’s office the next business day, after which the marriage is legally binding and the married couple are entitled to equal rights during marriage and its dissolution._ \--Jesus we’re married. Oh my God we got drunk and we got married.”

You were crawling around the kitchen counter to the living room where you heard his voice coming from and you found him curled up on the floor holding the tiny piece of paper up to his face as he read the words.

“What? Its real?” Your voice sounded too high and he whined on the floor, kicking his feet a few times as he threw a fit.

“Why did you let this happen? Baby, you know that I’m the dumb one, you're supposed to stop things like this from happening.”

You pulled the piece of paper from his fingers to see what it said for yourself. You saw the words that he saw but there was more to it. There was a phone number below with the name of the Officiant, the woman who had performed the ceremony on two very obviously, very drunk people, and a message that said she could be contacted before the certificate was filed to void the document if both parties agreed.

The longer you focused on the tiny words on the paper the more it came back to you. Flashes of him, flashes of you and the words you were speaking to each other as she ordered you around.

“You said ‘I do’...I remember now.” You said quietly as you watched his face flatten out and take on a dull lifeless look. As he registered your words you saw his eyebrows scrunch along with his nose as he stared at the ceiling.

“You said it too. She said ‘do you take this man to be your husband?’ and you were laughing and laughing and you said ‘I do’ so damn cutely, it made me laugh too.” His voice was flat and lifeless and he wasn't looking at you as he spoke.

“We were so drunk,” you said with a small laugh and he sighed out loud as he closed his eyes.  
  
“Baek, it says here it can be voided. We just have to call her if we both agree.” You knew he didn't know that part yet and his eyes flashed toward you when you said it, instantly sitting up on his elbow to look down at the paper in your hands.

“We have until Monday. Today is Friday so we have the whole weekend. We just have to call her before Monday.”

His mouth opened and he looked at you as if he was about to speak, but the words were stuck. He closed his mouth without saying a word and he laid back down on the floor with a long sigh.

It was a sigh of relief.

You felt it too. Relief. This wasn't real, this had happened sure, but it could be undone very easily without anyone in the world finding out about it.

But…

But why did you feel so sad?

He was staring ahead at the ceiling, blinking his eyes in silence as his mind worked.

“It’s not that--” he spoke quietly, his words getting caught again, he twisted his eyebrows and licked his lips before he continued.

‘--its not that I don't want to be married to you. I do. You are the only one I want to see every day for the rest of my life. You know that right?” He had turned his head and was looking at your face now.

You forced a small smile and nodded your head once.

He didn't return your smile. And his eyes watched your face too closely. Seeing too much.

“This isn’t how I want to do it. I don’t want it to be some drunken accident that neither of us remember.” His hand reached for yours and you nodded your head again, feeling the warmth of his arms as he moved closer and wrapped himself around you, pulling you into his arms.

“I know,” you said, because it was the truth. You did know. He was right. You were both too young to be married and in his current situation with his job and his fame you wouldn't even be able to tell anyone about it.  
  
But with his arms around you squeezing you with the love and the warmth you felt inside him cascading over you, you felt the tear slip down your cheek. Just a bit upset about this, either way.

Because it wasn't real. Well, it was real now but on Monday morning when he made that phone call it wouldn’t be real any more.

“Don't be sad my love,” he heard your sniffles and you felt his lips kissing away the tears that had fallen on your cheeks, “this is no way to feel on your wedding day.”

“I don't even remember my wedding day.” You let out a small bitter laugh and you heard him laugh too.

“I remember your hat was too big and it kept knocking off my moustache. And I remember how sexy you look in ruffles and lace...and bows and beads and sequins, that dress was...something...” He was laughing loudly now and you laughed harder, remembering just how heavy it was to try and walk around in.

“We will fix it on Monday morning. Let's be happy now, no more crying okay? We just got married!” His smile was wide and believable and you honestly saw the excitement behind his eyes with his words.

He was right, no matter what had to be done for the sake of your responsibilities, you were married...for now.

Married life with Byun Baekhyun was glorious. You spent your weekend going to various shops around town, walking hand in hand like a couple in love, sharing meals and inside jokes and the sex...the sex seemed to have changed during the weekend. If that was something that was even possible, the level of intimacy you felt with him was different. His eyes held something in them that felt...more.

The way he held onto you, as if you were the most precious thing in the world to him and molded to you, showering you with sweetness and words and the songs, dear lord the songs, in your ear. For you, about you, to you. The man was unstoppable. You hadn't thought it was possible to feel more in love with him, but it was definitely happening now that you were married to him.

You practiced calling him your husband a few times and you heard him respond in kind, introducing you as his wife to the shop owner who rang up the purchase he made. She smiled at the sweet newlywed couple and gave him a discount.

Saturday was a dream. Sunday morning was sweet over breakfast in bed with your husband, Byun Baekhyun. Lunch was delightful with a tinge of something in the back of your mind that was peeking through. You knew what it was. It was a timer.  
The countdown began after lunch and you caught yourself looking at the clock, doing the math to see exactly how many more hours you would be his wife and he would be your husband.

The love you made after lunch felt just a bit more desperate than the day before and as you drifted off to sleep you heard his voice, telling you he was going out for a quick walk and would be back before you woke up.

When you woke up he still wasn't back and you busied yourself with cleaning up the kitchen from the meal you shared. Washing the dishes you had both used, smiling at the memory of pushing a shopping cart around the local market with him next to you. You'd insisted that you had to cook for him instead of ordering out. You were running out of time as his wife by now and you swore you had to do it at least once before this was over.

Your eyes glanced at the clock and you wondered how long he was going to be out. You wondered where he went and what he was doing and you hoped he was okay. You looked at the spot where you both had agreed to keep the marriage certificate. You both signed a written agreement to void the document right away and left the agreement and the certificate there on the kitchen counter, ready to meet the woman on Monday to cancel the marriage and your eyes sought it out.

Only it was gone.

The space where it had been set down carefully was empty and you opened the kitchen drawers trying to find it. Where was it? Had there been a breeze that maybe blew it off the counter?

You looked down onto the floor around the kitchen, not finding any trace of the precious document and you had a realization.

Baekhyun was gone..for hours now.

Was it possible that he took it to meet the woman on his own? To cancel the marriage right away before taking the risk that something would happen before Monday came around?

Had he done it on his own? Armed with your signature and the form that he had taken, there was nothing to stop him.

You looked down at the dishes you had just washed from lunch and the kitchen that shined with your efforts to keep it clean.

Somehow, not knowing was worse. You didn't know if you were still married to him and you felt a weird upset inside your stomach at this unknown information.

You went to the bathroom to take a shower. You needed to wash away this silly mood you found yourself in. You had no reason for this. You had both talked about it already and staying married was...tempting, but ultimately...it was...it was...impossible.

The shower helped and you took your time getting ready. You knew you had a dinner with him later that he had texted you about when he was out and you shaved your legs, putting on some nice smelling lotion and did your hair and makeup before you pulled out the fancy dress you brought.

It was a formal thing, delicate silk with a low cut neckline in the front, the sleeves hung off your shoulders, making you feel sexy and feminine. You had your phone in the bathroom as you got ready and you found a text message waiting for you from Baekhyun.

 _“My wife~~ Are you in there getting ready for our date? I smell something pretty.”_ You smiled down at your phone, holding your arm up to your nose to smell the lotion. It was new and you picked it with him in mind. You knew the kinds of scents he liked by now and this was sure to hit all the right notes.

 _“I'm almost ready, baby ^^”_ You could not bring yourself to type the word ‘husband’.

When you came out from the hallway, walking lightly in the dress that hugged your curves your eyes looked for him. Would he be ready to go already? You hoped you hadn't taken too long getting ready.

You heard a soft gasp and you spun, spotting him in an instant as he leaned against the wall of the living room, his arms crossed over his chest, he wore a crisp, well fitted black suit. His hair was styled up and with the cut of the suit you could make out the shape of his arms, the muscles that you knew were there, the broadness of his shoulders and his chest filled out the jacket and you honestly had to have a moment because the man looked too beautiful to be real.

And he was staring at you. His eyes raked over your body with his mouth open and you couldn't quite understand what that look was about.

“Wow,” he finally spoke in a soft breath. A whisper that tickled against the back of your neck, bringing a slight blush along with it.

“D-Do I look okay?” You asked, unsure of the dress choice. It was a bit more revealing than you usually dared to wear with such a low front, and the shoulders completely bared.

His eyes were wide and he was walking now, moving slowly and effortlessly to close the distance between you both and you heard a small laugh.

“Perfect,” he whispered and the look in his eyes magnified the closer he came to where you stood. “You look perfect.”

The ride to the restaurant was unexpected. When you came out from the home you stood in front of a black limousine and you looked into the face of your boyfriend, or husband, or whatever it was this man was to you right now, with the sneaky looking smile on his face as he waited for you to climb inside the open door of the giant vehicle.

You rode to the place in near silence and Baekhyun seemed nervous. He was usually chatty at all times and in all situations but now he was silent as he stared out the window at the buildings that flew by. He was fidgeting with his own fingers and you noticed he twirled the couple ring around his ring finger again and again, catching your eyes a few times with a small smile.

You wondered if perhaps he was upset that the marriage was over already.

The car stopped and you looked around at the buildings. The neighborhood looked nice, more downtown than where your beach home was located and the door opened.

Baekhyun was gone and his hand appeared at the opening of the door, waiting for you to accept it.

When you came out of the car you noticed the restaurant in front of you was fancy. Like, really fancy a women in a stiff coat held the door open for you both to enter.

The inside was like nothing you had ever seen. The soft sounds of music wafted through the room and you caught sight man playing of a grand piano in the center of the big dining room. An impressive chandelier hung from the ceiling and the walls were decorated with fine art. Tables were well spaced out with clean white linens and crystalware on the tables. The place was not very busy, only one or two couples sharing a quiet meal together and you were led to a table near the piano.

The food was delicious and as you ate you found your mind wandering as you remembered the weekend with him. The meals you shared as a married couple were some of the most delicious meals you had ever had in your life and you found your smile difficult to keep from your face as you remembered.

When you looked up you caught him watching you with a curious look, smiling in response to your smile you suddenly felt content. With it all, with him, with the trip, with the drunken accident, with the love, with all of it. It was perfect. He was perfect and you were satisfied with whatever happened after this because you knew, regardless of what was written on some piece of paper, you were his and he was yours and nothing could change that.

He was done with his food and he played with the stem of his wineglass as he watched your face, blinking and smiling slowly the way he did when he was particularly deep in thought. The silence was comfortable.

“I'm going to the restroom. I'll be right back love.” His hand was over your own on the table and you nodded once before he left.

The music played on, steadily behind you where the piano player sat and you waited for him to return to his side of the table.

Your attention was pulled when the music stopped and changed. Mid song it seemed and you rotated in your seat, curious about the change. A new song was playing and the old man who had been playing the piano stood in front of you, blocking your view of the big instrument.

Yet the music was playing on. A different melody. Something slow and romantic and you couldn't quite understand how this was happening with the piano player gone from his station.

The old man took a step aside and you heard a voice that you knew in your soul.

Your heart raced and echoed through your ears, competing for an audience and you shoved the distraction away because Baekhyun was seated at the piano as his fingers flew expertly over the keys ...and he was singing.

His head was thrown back, his voice was clear and beautiful and the song was…

It was a love song. He turned to you as he sang and met your eyes and his voice echoed out loud and confident. He was a professional and it showed and you felt the lump form in your throat the longer you listened to the words to his song.

A song about being so young but so in love. A song about beating the odds. A song full of emotion and promises for the future, promises to share your home, promises to share your love and to start a family.

Something was changing in his voice the longer he sang and you heard something you had never heard from him. You heard an instability in that voice and you saw his eyebrows furrow in concentration as he tried to hold it back. The emotion he felt from the words he sang to you….the emotion from your song, this song was for you, it was yours, he took that emotion that threatened to overcome him and he put it into the words. You saw the wetness on his cheek, a single tear escaped and ran down his face as he sang and his eyes closed, unable to keep the eye contact with you and keep the song going.

You were powerless to stop your own tears that ran down your face. Probably ruining your makeup, you didn’t care.

His voice slowed down as the song neared its end and his fingers stopped playing the keys. He was standing up now, but he kept singing the words. When the music faded and disappeared the words seemed magnified. Or maybe it was because he was walking toward you.

You looked around the room, as he moved in closer and you noticed the attention was on him. He was such a good performer you were sure they were powerless to look away. Staff members, waiters, diners, everyone watched in silent awe at the beauty of his song. His voice was so powerful.

When you looked back at him expecting to find him directly in front of you he wasn't there and you caught movement at the floor below you.

Your hands felt it first. The tremble of nerves when you saw him on the floor in front of you. His eyes were on yours and in his hand he held a small black box with a ring. He was shaking nearly as badly as you were and he closed his eyes with a deep inhale to steady himself.

The room was completely silent and your heart raged inside your chest, threatening to overcome every last bit of sense you had in your head.

You heard him speak. He whispered your name and his voice was thick and affected.

“Before I ask you anything I have a confession to make--” his hand was in his pocket and he pulled out a handful of pieces of paper to show you, “--I went a little crazy and I tore up our agreement to void the marriage, so if you say no we will have to make another one.”

He took another deep breath.

“W-Will you...stay married to me?”

You felt the answer in your bones. You knew the answer to completely inside your soul that your head was nodding in earnest long before your mouth found the words to say ‘Yes.’

You saw him sigh and this one was definitely a sigh of relief. His hand dropped the torn up bits of paper and he was reaching for you just as you got your brain to cooperate with the word.

“Yes,” you said and his smile was in front of you. His lips were on yours before the final sounds were out and his kiss cut you off to the noise of applause and cheers from the people in the restaurant echoed out around you.

He was laughing with his arms around your shoulders and you wiped at the tears you saw on his face. His hands on your own face held you close and he kissed your lips again, sweetly, as if he couldn't help it. In front of all these people and everything, he was powerless against it.

“We are in so much trouble when we get home.” His laughter echoed over your head and you nodded your head in complete agreement because he was right.

But in this moment, this moment colored with so much happiness and so much love you couldn't find an ounce of energy inside you to care.

You had given up long ago.  
He was yours and you were his.  
For life.

  
THE END

(For real this time)

The song Baekhyun sings to Hot Dog is [Perfect by Ed Sheeran](https://youtu.be/HsAlLERSbz0)


	29. BONUS - Deleted Scenes

I will post a series of short drabble length scenes from the story I Give Up. These will include various moments that took place after the story ended, particularly moments that we wish we had just a small peek at. A few future scenes will be smut. Some are told from Baekhyun’s perspective.


	30. BONUS - Deleted Scenes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I Give Up - Deleted Scenes - The Notebook (1)
> 
> Genre: Fluff
> 
> Characters : You x Baekhyun
> 
> A/N: the first installment in a series of short drabble length scenes from the story I Give Up. These will include various moments that took place after the story ended, particularly moments that we wish we had just a small peek at. A few future scenes will be smut. Some are told from Baekhyun’s perspective.

* * *

I guess one could call it poetry if it remained in its current state. Just words on a page. Once the words were absorbed into his mind and sent over his vocal cords, those words on the page became something else.

Something more than just his thoughts penned out into his notebook, when he attached a melody and a pitch to the words they became more than his. They became something bigger than the words scratched out in his secret notebook as he hid alone in his room at night.

Baekhyun had been humming the tune all morning. Singing too loudly in the shower as he got ready. Dropping his voice to a hum when he passed in front of his sleeping bandmates room and lifting the volume back up once he arrived into the kitchen, seeking one or two of the boiled eggs Chanyeol always kept in the fridge from the night before.

The protein would hold him over until he was able to eat a proper meal and the song was cut off to mere hums as he chewed and swallowed the eggs in two bites each.

“What are you singing? That’s not one of the songs we are doing is it?” Kyungsoo’s voice made Baekhyun jump away from the open fridge he was peeking into and he turned to face the sleepy face of his group mate.

“Ahh, it's n-nothing.” Baekhyun turned his head away from Kyungsoo as casually as he could, hoping the other man wouldn't push it. He didn't really feel ready become the subject of a discussion about songwriting and the lyrics were a bit too personal to him to be laid out in front of the other musicians. Surely they would take to it with a scalpel, slicing out sections, rearranging them and changing words that he had frankly become rather attached to at this point.

“Doesn't seem like nothing...it seems like you wrote a song,” Kyungsoo muttered as he rubbed a knuckle over his eyelid and reached for a water cup and the pitcher that sat on the counter.

It was a rare moment of silence for him as Baekhyun watched Kyungsoo drink his fill of the cool water and considered sharing this tiny morsel of himself.

“If you don't want me to hear it--” Kyungsoo said in that comfortable way that always pulled the words from Baekhyun’s chest, whether he wanted to or not. Whether Kyungsoo spoke this way to him on purpose, or if it was just his personality, Baekhyun didn't know for sure. But he found himself shrugging as he pulled out his phone, ignoring the tension he felt in his hands as he did it.

“Okay but this is a really really rough version. I mean It’s probably not even good--” it wasn't usual behavior for the man to be so uncertain, but he didn't usually bare himself to just anyone like this.

For some reason, Kyungsoo and Baekhyun could just do this. They could just bring out the honesty from each other in a way that was easy.

The recording played through the tiny speakers of the cell phone in Baekhyun’s palm and Kyungsoo leaned in closer to the device that hovered over the kitchen counter.

It started out with a piano melody. Something light and refreshing played with expert fingers flying over the keys and Kyungsoo lifted an eyebrow as he leaned his head closer. Baekhyun’s falsetto began, softly humming before the beginning lines of the song rang out.

Baekhyun bit down on his upper lip, chewing at the flesh nervously as he watched for his reaction. He hated the vulnerability he felt in his chest as the song played on and Kyungsoo just sat there with open unfocused eyes and his ear against the phone.

The song was probably bad. Kyungsoo would let it finish, stand up straight with a little nod of his head and immediately change the subject to something like their upcoming CF shoot or some movie he watched.

The final notes played and Baekhyun was quick to exit out of the app that played the song and lock his phone.

“Yeah it's just...it's nothing really--”

“I love it,” Kyungsoo said, interrupting Baekhyun’s attempt to downplay the significance of the song and Baekhyun could feel the tension in his chest slowly beginning to dissipate with Kyungsoo's declaration. “Really, its really good. You should record this in Chanyeol’s studio. I know he would let you, it's really great.”

The small chuckle from Baekhyun’s lips was involuntary and he bit down on his lip again to try and quiet the swell of pride he felt inside his chest.

“But--” Kyungsoo began suddenly and Baekhyun looked up into his eyes with a sudden panic rising in the back of his throat.

“--have you played it for her yet?”

“W-Who?” The stutter felt like a confession all on it’s own and Baekhyun reached for the glass Kyungsoo had used for his water. He quickly poured from the pitcher and tossed the cool liquid back into his throat and swallowed it down without coughing once despite the tension he felt return to his body. Sometimes he hated the way Kyungsoo would see through him so easily.

“Who the hell do you think?” Kyungsoo leaned closer to Baekhyun and dropped his voice. “If you wrote a song about her, she should be the one to hear it first before you record it and play it for the world.”

“What do you mean? This isn't a song for anyone. It's just a hypothetical situation kinda thing.” His protests were noisy and whiny and Baekhyun watched Kyungsoo’s eyes for signs that he believed him.

And he found none as the man simply rolled his eyes and sighed with his arms over his chest.

“Hypothetical?” Kyungsoo repeated the word in a lifeless voice and Baekhyun grimaced into the cup as he winced at the lyrics he was sure Kyungsoo had heard in the song. Lyrics about making a life with someone. About spending that life together and sharing a home. And sharing promises and vows.

Baekhyun could feel the heat over his cheeks and he was pretty sure he would have dropped this coffee mug had he not already set it back down on the counter. Kyungsoo’s eyes narrowed significantly as he started at the guilty man who stood on the other side of this kitchen counter.

“You really don't remember calling me that night?” Kyungsoo ticked his head, putting his face more directly in Baekhyun’s line of sight so he could read his expression clearly.

“What?” Baekhyun stared into Kyungsoo’s face now.

That night? Baekhyun searched through his memory of the past few nights and came up short. He shook his head, certain that nothing felt amiss as of late. He hadn’t even really mentioned anything questionable and the last time he actually called Kyungsoo on the phone was weeks ago.

He shook his head again under those watchful brown eyes that held on to some sort of secret within their brown irises and forced his mind to move further. Deeper. Back to that night. That night. Why did the phrase hit against his fibers with such force?

Something dangerous slithered around the edges of his mind, like the memory of a dream. Something intangible yet significant enough that if he touched it maybe he could grab ahold and bring it into his focus.

“The night you got married?” Kyungsoo asked this question in the lowest voice yet and Baekhyun felt the impact of them hit him square in the chest as he took a step back and away from the man. He covered his mouth and felt the tail of the slipping memory brush against his fingertips. His eyes widened when the breath left his lungs and slipped passed his trembling hand.

His eyes unfocused and he looked behind Kyungsoo’s wide eyes into the expanse of the living room beyond the kitchen counter. It wasn't the night of the fair. The night he had checked his phone for countless clues as he tried to piece together the events that led to you and him accidentally getting married during a carnival game.

Baekhyun was absolutely sure he hadn't made any phone calls that night that could resurface and get him into trouble.

But two days later...the night he fell to his knees in front of the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. The night he held up a ring and felt his heart raging inside his chest as he asked you to be his. For real and forever and the night you said yes.

That night.

Baekhyun had vivid memories of that night. After the dinner, after you accepted him and he felt absolutely on top of the world. Like he could do anything at all without consequence and you both sat at that cafe. He had pulled out this very cell phone, brought up the clock and you both watched the seconds tick by. Baekhyun could feel the pulse of your heartbeat in your thumb and the ring he had put on your finger sparkled even in the dim lighting of that cafe and when the clock struck midnight and kept moving he swallowed away the emotions that stuck in the back of his throat and met your eyes that seemed to sparkle like the stars despite the dim lighting of the cafe. The view of you blurred and Baekhyun had to squeeze his eyes shut to clear the wetness that had accumulated there with his free hand.

You’d agreed to stay married to him that night, and you both watched the chance to void the marriage pass with the minutes and seconds on the bright screen of that cell phone.

Sure he had pulled out the champagne at the restaurant that night, and the memories grew a bit hazy after that. The laughter and the joy was all consuming and he laughed and pulled you up out of that chair. Pulled you into his arms and you molded into him like you always did. You slipped your hands around his waist and squeezed him tight, holding him like only you could. Making him feel like only you could and the alcohol went down easily during the celebration.

“W-When did I call?” Baekhyun screwed his eyebrows together. He felt the blood hot like fire on the surface of his cheeks, no longer able to deny it, but unable to admit that such a huge secret would be so easily discovered like this. More than just being discovered, but...he himself had called and told Kyungsoo that he was married to you?

Baekhyun felt dizzy. Like perhaps he had forgotten to breathe during the entirety of this conversation and he placed his hand over his heart, making sure it was still beating. Its wild pace against his chest wall made him wonder if the vital organ would be able to keep up such a rapid pace before it gave out on him and made him drop Iike a stone on this kitchen floor.

His mind whirled and grasped on to the fleeting sensation. A dream. A lucid dream he was sure was just that and nothing more as he laid in bed, quite drunk and still reeling from the high of the love he’d shared with you that night. You were in the shower and he had his phone out as he uploaded photos from the evening into his private album online and deleted copies from his phone. There were too many to get through and he dozed off a bit with his phone still in his hand. In his dream he scrolled through his contacts, trying the different members and none of them answered until Kyungsoo finally did on the fourth try. It was a dream. He had been so certain that it had been a dream.

The conversation came flooding through the haze and Baekhyun gasped loudly through his hand as he looked back into Kyungsoo’s face.

“I thought that was a dream! Did I really call you?”

“Yah! I thought you were just drunk! Is it true? Did you and Hot Dog really get married? What the fuck Baekhyun!?”

A sound to his left, coming from the hallway reached his ears. Someone was coming.

Baekhyun sprung to life. Suddenly aware of the sensitive topic at hand and the volume of Kyungsoo's voice, he leapt forward over the counter and clamped one hand securely around the back of his friend's neck and the other hand firmly over the man’s lips.

Nearly as quickly as he placed his hands on him did he realize his mistake. It was the murderous look in his eyes that told him the of the dangerous waters he was treading through and he quickly lowered the hand from Kyungsoo’s lips as he forced a loud boisterous laugh from his chest to cover his hasty action.

“Ha ha ha, a-and then...in the dream, s-she suddenly turned into a mermaid and things turned even weirder!” Baekhyun was shouting at full volume as Kyungsoo rubbed his hand over his own mouth in annoyance as he shot daggers across the counter top.

“Have you ever had sex with a fish?” Baekhyun’s voice had reached piercing levels with his final question before his own ridiculous words ricocheted back and hit his own ear drums. He closed his eyes tightly and winced.

“B-Because it was…” his tone was dropping and Kyungsoo heard the feet shuffling behind him as whoever had woken up made their way into the kitchen from the hallway.

“--so s-sexy,” Baekhyun whispered through his clenched teeth and Kyungsoo’s expression shifted from annoyed to disgusted.

“Just stop,” Kyungsoo pleaded and Baekhyun swallowed away the dryness in his throat. The forced smile on his lips was more like a pained grimace and Jongin walked through the kitchen with his eyes closed as he reached a hand out in front of him, feeling for obstacles until he reached the refrigerator door. Once inside his eyes opened into tiny slits as he peered inside for what he was after.

Kyungsoo cleared his throat and leaned against the counter with a sigh, his eyes still wide on Baekhyun and Baekhyun frozen in place with nowhere to run. Not while Kyungsoo watched him so closely and with the enormous weight of that secret sitting on top of his shoulders. He felt glued in place. Even his feet began to feel a little tingly from standing so still.

Jongin was slow, grunting behind him with a six pack of yogurt drinks still wrapped together in their cellophane wrapper that he struggled against.

Baekhyun felt his chance when the yogurt was freed from its wrapper. He shifted on his feet, closer to the entryway of the kitchen, away from the spot where Kyungsoo stood with his eyes on him.

When Kyungsoo saw the movement, his eyes widened and his nostrils flared before he opened his mouth; a look of challenge on his face and a shake of his head. This was a warning. This conversation was not done and Baekhyun better not be about to do what he thought he was about to do.

Jongin swallowed the last bits of his drink and tossed the empty bottle into the trash can and the noise clattering around the silence of the kitchen nearly covered the rapid movement of Baekhyun’s feet as he bolted out of the room, away from Kyungsoo’s outstretched hands and judging eyes that knew way too much about way too many things.


	31. BONUS - Deleted Scenes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I Give Up - Deleted Scenes - Kinks (Scene 2)
> 
> Genre: Fluff / Smut (18+)
> 
> Characters : You x Baekhyun
> 
> Word Count: 3.8k
> 
> A/N: the second installment in a series of short drabble length scenes from the story I Give Up. These will include various moments that took place after the story ended, particularly moments that we wish we had just a small peek at. A few future scenes will be smut.Some are told from Baekhyun’s perspective.
> 
> Warning: Breeding kink, Creampie.

* * *

Your extensive existence on this earth had afforded you with a certain understanding about the way things in the real world worked.

Things like this didn’t just happen. Not to normal people. Not to you. You were normal, weren’t you?

Right?

Yet here you sat on the very tasteful and very expensive wrap around sectional sofa of your livingroom...your living room that was his, but it was yours now. He’d made it a point to emphasize the whole what’s mine is yours thing time and time again.

Particularly the time he brought up your student debt.

You didn't really want to talk about it. Of course, you didn't. You knew what he was getting after.

And it was out of the question.

Your school debt was something you had mentally prepared for going into school. You knew you would be paying it off well into your adult life and just because you happened to get drunk and accidentally wed your boyfriend did not change the fact that your debt was your debt.

Baekhyun wouldn’t drop the subject and you had to admit his arguments were beginning to make more and more sense. Or perhaps you had just grown too weak to the man.

It was probably your own fault for forwarding your mail here. It was highly likely and entirely your fault for leaving the loan statement open, face up on the granite countertop of the kitchen island and walking away from it to take a hot shower in some attempt to sooth the hard pit of worry that settled in your gut when you saw that giant number.

Baekhyun always had two destinations when he came home to you.

Your lips were his destination number one. No matter where you were or what you were doing, you had grown quite accustomed to the man barging through the front door, sensing where you were in the home through some sort of crazy radar that only he possessed, rushing up to you with arms outstretched and his lips ready to meet your own.

The kisses usually caught you off guard. You, caught up in whatever you had been immersed in, the dishes, studying with loud music playing in your headphones, brushing your damn teeth, and you would find yourself pulled with a surprised grunt, into his smile and his warmth and when he’d finally had his fill of your lips, which always, always left you befuddled, affected and definitely wanting more, he would merely walk away and collapse on the bed, or the couch with a groan of exhaustion and fall asleep for at least an hour. Except for that time he slept for 13 hours and you periodically checked for movement in his chest to be sure he hadn't died.

Imagine your surprise when you emerged from the shower, still steamy and definitely underdressed for any sort of serious conversations, and found him staring down at your student loan statement with his eyes wide and his mouth uncharacteristically closed.

“That’s my mail,” you said softly, reaching for the single sheet of paper with your face on fire from the steamy shower and definitely not from what you were certain was the shameful sensation of keeping such a monumental secret from him.

Even though you knew and he knew that college was expensive. Wasn’t that a universal truth? Was this really something you kept from him? It wasn’t like you both sat down and had an adult conversation about finances before you tossed back the drinks that left you both so smashed you had no memory of getting married to each other.

“Sorry, I left it out. That’s not—“ You stammered and his fingers released the grip he had on the paper with.

“Is that what your school costs?” He interrupted your mumbling with a voice filled with way too much flippancy for such a giant number. Maybe he wasn't considering the remaining years you had to complete. Maybe he didn’t realize that the number would be multiplied many times over by the time your degree was in your hands and adding valuable and important letters to your name.

“Well, it will be more by the time I’m done.”

“Do you want me to...I mean, I could—“

“No.” Your disagreement came out forceful and defensive you winced at the sound of your own voice.

“Nooo,” He repeated, mocking the defensive tone you had heard in your own voice with an emphasis on the whininess you were sure you hadn’t heard at all and you screwed your lips together into a pout when he scrunched up his nose, making a face at you before reaching toward where you stood in stubborn, inflexible defiance of the man whose smile was pushing through his own fake pout.

His arms reached for your waist and you averted your eyes from his, your pout still the prominent feature on your face.

“Nooo, she says,” he said in a higher voice and the warmth of his hands on the silk robe felt distracting when you were certain that he knew you wore nothing below the thin fabric. “I want to do everything myself, even though I’ve got a rich husband who would just love to pay this off for me in exchange for one, maybe two blowjobs.”

You couldn’t keep the pout on your face and you had to cover your mouth to keep from snorting. His hands had moved, wrapping strong arms around your waist to pull you into him and you gave in to the reluctant laughter.

“You’re not paying it off for me and you know I do that for free, Baekhyun.”

His lips were near your ear now and you could feel the warmth of his breath against your neck that preceded the small moan from his throat.

You felt it then. As if you had walked into some sort of a verbal trap that he had laid out so carefully for you.

“Oh is that so?” The suggestion was heavy in his voice.

“I'm guessing you don't want to sleep right now?” Your weak attempt to derail him was only half-hearted.

“Not after you made me such a gracious offer.”

You weren’t sure how he did it. How he always managed to twist the conversation in such a fortuitous way for himself, but this tactic was classic Baekhyun. He was good at it and you let it happen. “Why? Do you want me on the bed when you do it?”

Because it was fun. And you could tell by his eyes that he was still playing with you. Baekhyun had a way about him and the best response to these sorts of situations was usually a simple subject change. You definitely didn't want to discuss the idea of him paying off your substantial student loans for you, even if the amount was minuscule to him and crippling to you.

You searched your recent memory. How long had it even been since he’d been home this time? You had so many stories to tell him yet the tickling of his fingertips felt distracting and your silence wore on as you stood there, half in his arms, with nothing but your breathing on your tongue.

The topic seemed to fade away and you felt the weight of his chin as he rested it on your shoulder for a moment. Then his face shifted, nuzzling his nose into your neck, no doubt feeling the chill from your still wet hair you felt him inhale slowly and deeply. The subsequent exhale blew against your humid skin, making you feel just as steamy as the shower had been.

Sometimes it was like this. Sometimes the stories could wait. His suitcases would stay right where they were left, at the door, still packed, still covered in stickers from the airport and even the bags of things he bought on his travels would stay there for days.

Sometimes all he needed was your skin against his face and the echo of your heartbeat against his chest.

You could feel it, the need for proximity and for silence and you reached for his arms, feeling the weight of them when you gripped and pulled and Baekhyun made not a single sound as you moved. His feet moved with you and you steered him into the bedroom, the one you shared with him not nearly as many nights as promised in all the marriage brochures.

His eyelids were open and he was staring ahead, face blank and calm and even his blinking seemed more shallow.

This kind of exhaustion was a spiritual one. You peeled away the layers of clothing he wore and he moved his limbs to let you, until nothing remained but his boxer shorts and he moved to the bed when you pulled the covers back. You turned, you were only going to get the light before you returned to climb in and hold him, but you felt a tug that made you turn to look back at him.

His eyes were closed already but the tips of his fingers had ahold of the tie that held your robe, pulling the knot open, the slippery fabric fell open and his eyes opened just enough to watch you turn, slipping your hands out of the sleeves of the robe, you spun and left him still holding the tie.

He didn't have to explain. Not anymore. You knew that a few hours of touch was all he needed and you returned quickly to find him, warm steady breathing below the covers and skin to skin. His arms reached for you and you for him and you felt him angling for his favorite spot, he nuzzled again, slower this time, his lips and breath, forehead connected to your collarbone, his hair tickling your chin and the steady purse of his lips again and again over the swell of your breasts.

You knew he wouldn't sleep. This was not something that sleep could fix. He simply gripped you tightly around the waist and mashed his face right into your chest. He pressed, he squeezed, and he burrowed against your body. You always wondered how he could breathe like this, but he had yet to suffocate himself, despite how hard he always seemed to try.

“Don't think I’ve forgotten about the blowjob,” he mumbled after at least a solid hour of silence, yet still well within the confines of your chest and you rubbed your hands over his back, trying to get him to drop that nonsense and get his therapy.

“Shh, you don't want a blowjob,” you said and you heard the quietest whine of protest from somewhere deep inside of him, “you’re not even hard right now.”

“It’ll get hard if you play with it a little,” he said and you tightened your hold around his back, rubbing harder over the stiffness you felt in his back muscles in long sweeping motions from the top of his shoulders down to the bottom of his spine until you felt the tension beginning to dissipate and he began to loosen some of that desperation with which he held onto you.

“I love you,” you heard him whisper into your skin, “we should have a baby together,” he mumbled a little bit clearer as he angled his face upward, eyes still closed tightly as he talked. “We would make such pretty babies. Let’s have three of them. I have so many names picked out.”

You had grown quite used to this from him and you smiled into the fluffy hair atop his head that poked up your nose, making you want to sneeze.

“Three? It was two last time,” you could feel the smile on your lips.

“I can’t help it. I saw twin babies on the plane, they were so cute and frankly, my clock is ticking.” You reached a hand up on top of his head to smooth down the fluffy hair that was threatening to make you sneeze. The damage from all the bleaching and colorings made it not want to cooperate with your smoothing hands and as soon as you flattened, it popped right back up tickling your nose. He laid there, with his cheek against your chest, blissfully unaware, with a contented smile on his lips and a hum in the back of his throat with each slow pass your hand made over his head.

“Okay. We’ll have three then,” you said and the smile grew as his eyes fluttered and at last he opened them to look into your face.

With the eye contact, the smile flattened and he was back to you. He was back in your arms at last, after waking up in this bed completely alone for who knows how long you were holding him and looking into his eyes and he was real.

“You’re just saying that to shut me up. I know you don't mean it.” The deep sign wasn’t entirely intentional, but you couldn't help it when you saw the pout forming on his pretty lips. “Don't think I can’t tell when you’re pandering to me. You’re not taking me seriously.”

You could feel it. He was tired and frustrated and sitting just on the edge of this conversation sat the potential for the ongoing joke to turn into an argument. Of course, you knew Baekhyun wanted a family someday and as you had both discussed extensively, things like this needed to wait until you were both ready. His long tours and demanding schedule with EXO plus your school which was going quite smoothly once you’d been accepted into the program you’d applied for, you were simply too busy. You both were. He knew this more than anyone did, but sometimes he just had to throw a fit. You hoped he wouldn't end up crying again. You hated to see him cry. You know it was stress.

“Do you want to set a date? Maybe in five years, we can try? Maybe things will settle down?” You felt like a crisis negotiator as you began to brave the dangerous waters of Baekhyun’s moods when it came to things that normal married couples did without hardly an afterthought and he listened carefully to the sound of your heartbeat as you spoke. You noticed he wasn’t breathing, but seemed to be holding a breath.

He exhaled. “Four years,” he said and you breathed with him, resuming your hands combing through his hair from the forehead down to his nape, “I’m not getting any younger.”

“But--” he sat up suddenly, all at once breaking the hold you had on him and your hand hung in the air with at least two stray strands of his hair stuck between your fingers. The rapid movement had yanked them out and you watched him, waiting for whatever revelation was so important to interrupt this moment. “--Maybe we should have four...so they can pair off and have a friend to play with.”

“Baek--” you said, dropping the bits of hair you’d pulled from his scalp and he turned his torso when you called him. He knew that voice. You were calming the storm. Splashing cool water over the overexcited fire that he tended to burn up in when he went overboard with something.

When he turned to look at you though, his eyes moved too slowly, taking their time moving up the length of your nudity that the blanket had uncovered with the sudden motion.

The look in his eyes when they finally reached yours didn't calm the fire at all. It felt more like he’d transferred the heat within himself right into you and you could feel the heat coating your skin when he lifted a hand and trailed his fingers over your belly, moving slow and light like a feather over your skin, making goosebumps erupt where he touched.

“Do you ever forget to take it?” the question was a whisper and you realized that you had closed your eyes with him touching you this way. When you opened them you could see the darkness that grew within his irises as his hand now moved between your legs, trailing a path up against your thigh. “Do you ever not take it on purpose? God, I hope you do. Just that idea that while I’m fucking you…” The tip of his finger slipped between your folds and you breathed through your open mouth when you felt the wetness there.

“--that risk. That chance, for an accident.” he bit down on his bottom lip and his thumb traced a circle around your clit, making you squirm below him on the bed as he said these things to you while touching you like this.

“I--” Your breath caught within your words and you couldn’t get them out without gasping for air once more. “I haven’t taken it today.” It was the truth. You’d left the package of your birth control pills in your purse while you worked on some homework, meaning to go back and take it when the alarm went off on your phone, but you had forgotten, until he mentioned it with his hands between your legs, talking to you like this, making your mind a jumble of arousal with the idea of an accident. Why was this turning you on? Was it just his reaction to it that was somehow affecting you so much— because he liked it so much?

“Fuck, baby--” his eyes fluttered and rolled into his head and you could feel movement between your legs as he shifted and pushed his boxers down, kicking them off and he was back, between your parted legs with a tremble on his voice and his dick in his hands.

He looked down between your legs and there was a pressure, very slight. Just the feeling of the tip of him sitting against your entrance, yet unmoving.

“Do you want me to do it?” His voice was thready; too affected for anything steady and yet the simple action of him holding back made you burn with anticipation. He moved once more, slipping the head of his dick up and over your swollen clit and you whined at the denial when he pulled away again. “You do, don’t you? You’re so fucking wet just thinking about it.”

Baekhyun could always make you lose your mind. Whatever bit of rationality you had left inside you was snuffed out by the flood between your legs and you nodded your head, lifting your legs and wrapping them around his waist as you pulled hard and he dropped from his seated position between your legs, hovering over your face, chest to chest, too much skin and too much warmth and not enough of him actually fucking you yet.

“I’m going to cum inside of you,” he said against your face and his mouth was on yours. The rhythm of his tongue slipping inside of your mouth, brushing against your own tongue felt vulgar. It felt like what you wanted him to do with his dick and you were reaching now, down between where your bodies should have been connected already, yet where he denied you and you grabbed him, guiding him to your entrance, begging him to push inside. “Do you want me to fuck you like this? And cum inside of you without your pill? What if you get pregnant with my baby?”

You tightened your legs and you felt him as he pushed inside finally and the danger and risk transformed into something different. You felt magnified; more aroused and wetter than you had been in the past and he responded to your touches with loud whines. With each push inside of you, the desire and the need grew tenfold as if no amount of closeness was enough and just the mere possibility of what you were doing was making your body tense and tighten up with each of his thrusts inside. There was a flood, trying to fight the fire that swept you both away, the flood coated your body, every cell inundated with it until you trembled below him and he shouted out as he went rigid. He was breathing fast and hard and his face held a look of concentration as he bit down hard on his bottom lip, reining himself in for control.

“I’m --- gonna,” He was still holding back and your legs which had gone slack from the fatigue lifted again, pulling him into you once more; needing him inside of you when he came and yet he held it off, barely moving within you. “--tell me where to cum--f-fuck, tell me, is it okay?” his whine was loud and he sounded near tears with the volume of his voice in your ear and you quickly nodded your head and placed your lips against his neck.

“Inside, Baek.” and you meant it, with the tightness of your legs that wouldn't let him go and the way you clung tight around his back you meant it. He pushed in again, deeper this time and with a low groan in the back of his throat that sounded out his orgasm you felt the pulses inside of you; spurts of wetness as he twitched and filled you with that heat that carried all the risks and potential for something more.

The hold he had over you, the support he gave himself with his arms fell suddenly and you felt your own lungs flatten with the restriction of his weight over you. You tried to breathe through it. It had been too much for him to take and when he gave in, landing heavy and hot over your chest you didn't complain.

He was still inside of you, and you could feel the high fading as the size of him began to recede and he was moving.

Sitting up, with a grunt he was kneeling down on his parted knees between your legs, careful not to slip out as he moved until he was positioned to watch. You could feel him, could see his face and his eyes focused on the view of him still inside of you as he slowly slipped himself out, and you knew the mess he would see as the white liquid slowly seeped out of your entrance. The evidence of what you had let him do to you; of what you wanted him to do to you.

He was silent as he watched the view and when his eyes had taken in enough of the show for his liking he looked up into your face where you watched him.

And he didn't say a word, but the sinful smirk that grew on his face was more than enough for you to know exactly how satisfied you had made him.


	32. BONUS - Deleted Scenes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I Give Up :: Deleted Scene - Pink Heart Days

* * *

It started with that damn credit card. It was small and plastic and it had your name printed out on it. You hadn’t even been expecting it when it came in the mail, addressed to you in a plain white envelope on a Tuesday afternoon that felt like any other Tuesday afternoon.

You instantly pulled out your cell phone, shot a picture of the card, still attached to the welcome letter with that stretchy strip of glue and sent the image to Baekhyun.

You didn’t even have time to type out a question when your phone buzzed with his reply.

_“OH, it came. Good ^^”_

_“Don’t freak out. It’s only for emergencies.”_

_“And for anything, you might need around the house.”_

_“Stop buying cheap ramen, baby. Use the card and buy nice healthy stuff, please. I need you to be mine forever and ever.”_

_“And buy me sausages too.”_

You didn’t even have a response for him. If you complained about the very thought of using his money he would nag about how nothing was really his or yours anymore. The millions you saw on the screen of your banking app that changed daily, rising and falling as if it had a mind of its own, somehow, even without your having to earn a dime of it, had your name on it beside his.

If you mentioned the idea of paying for something from that other account, the one with only your name, the one that held your earnings from the part time job you still showed up for at the dry cleaners, the one that he tried to convince you to quit so you could focus on your studies, if you mentioned that account he would probably freak out and demand to know why you even still bothered with all of that when he was more than capable of paying for your school fees, or for your lunches when you were out of the house, or for silly little things like those cheap dangly earrings you bought because you thought they were pretty even if they were fake and would make your ears itch if you wore them for longer than a day.

Baekhyun insistently maintained that since you’d gotten married and even updated his family registry to add your name as his legal spouse there was only what belonged to the both of you.

It was a big old thing at the time. After the initial freak out of both your parents and his parents and that enormous storm that must have taken months to blow over, it actually felt like relief to have the huge secret out to the closest people in your life. It certainly made it easier to explain to your parents why you were moving into his place. He was your husband. Didn’t wives live with their husbands after all?

Even if “living with” was about as big a stretch as one could make claim to when the amount of time he was actually home with you was this paltry little number of days marked on the calendar with little pink heart stickers with his very own hand. Pink heart days were scheduled like doctor’s appointments. You always knew ahead of time when he would have a day, or an afternoon, or a night off and you would wait anxiously for the sound of that door code to ring out; with his favorite snacks in the kitchen, the latest new releases on DVD to watch with him and the house in tip-top shape out of some twisted sense of marital obligation that lived somewhere deep inside the recesses of your mind.

It simply was not part of your personality to blindly accept everything he had to give you without at least some bit of effort on your part to somehow earn it. You were trying though. On Friday nights you would splurge on the good take out, the kind that was double the price and all organic, and you even stopped buying the cheap ramen after he threw it all out when he had been feeling particularly naggy.

At least, on pink heart days, you were always sure things like super deluxe toilet paper was well stocked in the bathrooms, the thermostat in the apartment was set to a crisp and perfect temperature, more than appropriate for the season outside, and all of the bills were up to date.

You kept him and his ideals satisfied, and on most days, days on the calendar that didn’t have a little pink heart, you stayed in nights, ate leftovers from dinner with your mom, and covered up with extra blankets to save on the heating bill when it was really cold outside.

You felt like a sneak, sure, but the system worked for you.

That was until one particularly cold evening that was not a pink heart day (this was Wednesday and the next pink heart day was at least two weeks away), and you were curled up on the sofa wrapped inside your favorite down comforter for lounging, sipping a mug of warm tea as you went over the questions and answers for the exam you had just received back from the professor. You got an A on the exam, only missing a single question (a stupidly worded question designed to confuse, you were now convinced), and you were certain the midterm would cover this material. It never hurt to sink this knowledge in deep so you had no problems come exam time.

The microwave dinged and your leftover rice was waiting for you when you heard another sound. Something that was different from the beeping in the kitchen, this was unexpected and unprecedented. It was the door and someone was pushing buttons to open it and here you were, midway to the kitchen, walking entirely encased in your blanket cocoon with the floor below your socks unvacuumed and you were pretty sure there was next to no food in that fridge right now.

“Hello?” It was definitely Baekhyun’s voice echoing down the hallway that led toward the kitchen from the front door and you felt a strange swell of panic inside your chest. It was absolutely, in no twist of fate or trick of the cosmos, definitely not a pink heart day!

“Oh, it’s cold in here.” You heard him say to himself.

“Baby?”

There was a misplaced alarm in his voice. You heard it in the way he called out for you and the quick steps you heard of his bare feet slapping on the marble floor made your voice work instantly.

“Yeah, I’m in the kitchen,” you called back and his bare face appeared in front of your eyes like a dream. His eyes were wide and his chest heaved with the heavy breaths he took. It only lasted a second because he had you in his sights, still cocooned in the big blanket with both hands around the mug of tea you hadn’t yet had a chance to finish.

“Why is it so cold in here? Are you not feeling well? Are you sick? Do you have a fever?” The questions didn’t seem to follow a coherent thread of thought but he was now taking in your appearance, the big blanket, the mug of warm tea. Perhaps he thought you were sick and having a temperature control problem.

“What are you doing here? You aren’t scheduled to be home today.” He had already taken the steps to close the distance between the two of you and his hands were rubbing up and down over the blanket over your arms before he dipped his face to look into your eyes for a moment. You let the eye contact he sought out, fall quickly from your own grasp. You felt his warm fingers brush along your cheek before he opened his hand to lay it flat over your skin, cupping your face. He moved the same hand to feel the skin of your forehead and his brows furrowed once and he looked around the place at last.

It was dark. It was cold. You were alone with a single dish of leftover rice from your mom’s house sitting inside the opened microwave oven; since you hadn’t had a chance to make it to the market and grocery delivery services honestly felt like such a waste of money when it was just for you, so you were eating just the rice for dinner and he wasn’t supposed to be home yet. It wasn’t a damn pink heart day.

Baekhyun was a very smart man.

And he knew you quite well.

You saw the shift in his demeanor in an instant as he took in the clues around him and he bit down on his lip while crossing arms over his chest.

When shift reached his eyes and they hardened you knew you were in for a long night.

You expected some line of questioning. Much of the same as from before when things like this got out of hand.

“Is this your dinner?” Was the only question from his lips and he pulled the rice from the microwave, careful not to burn his fingers and let the container toss down onto the granite countertop rather unceremoniously before he was pulling the door of the fridge open quickly to peer inside.

“Why is this so empty? Why are you only having rice? Why are all the lights off? Why is it so fucking cold in this house?”

He whirled around, his eyes wide and his face red and you carefully placed the tea on the counter before you as you reached to clean up the bits of rice that had scattered when he tossed the plastic container. The vibration in your chest made you feel uncomfortable.

The fridge closed with a bang and you could hear something fall out of the door inside and tumble against the inside shelves. It was probably the soy sauce. There wasn’t much else to tumble and the soy sauce liked to fall out if you let the door of your fridge close too carelessly.

“Is this how you live when I’m not here?”

You felt a lump somewhere within your chest with his words. You could hear the disappointment and the accusation in them and perhaps it was that one fucking question you got wrong on your test, or maybe it was the fact that your period was due to start sometime next week and your breasts had been feeling a bit sore and tender when you showered, but you could feel that lump growing harder and more suffocating the longer he stood in your kitchen with his hands at his hips, a colonel standing akimbo, waiting for his private to give a report.

…when He was not here.

He was the love of your life. He was the only one whose mere existence could brighten your foul moods and make you smile when you felt like crying.

Crying was something you rarely did with Baekhyun. You never cried on the pink heart days. You saved that for the rest of the days of the week.

You saved that for the days when he was not here.

Which was nearly all of the time.

“What does it matter if you aren’t even here to see it?” You shoved your shoulders out of the blanket, forgetting it on the floor at your feet and you pushed your body into the space behind his back, where the kitchen counter bruised up against your flank when you shoved past his heavy breathing and toward that fridge to find the bottle of soy sauce with swift hands before it could be forgotten and roll out, shattering on the floor below. What a mess that would be for you to clean up all by yourself. The bits of glass would surely scatter below the small space of opening below the fridge. What if when the robot vacuum that liked to keep you company sometimes whenever you remembered to charge it, dislodged a tiny piece of glass and dropped it somewhere on the floor and then you stepped on it. Do you know how hard it is to remove a piece of glass from your own foot without anyone to help you?

You were right. It was the bottle of soy sauce. You caught it in time and carefully placed it back inside the door and closing the thing slowly and carefully so it would not fall again.

When you turned to face him you were only met with his back.

He had not moved and his hands hung limply by his side, not even enraged enough for tightly clenched fists or trembling shoulders that were wound too tightly.

“It’s—” he whispered, “hard…isn’t it?”

You hadn’t expected this question. It didn’t fit his usual questions when you argued about the money you didn’t spend, and its arrival was unwelcome for it brought with it a burst of pressure that pushed the lump in your throat up higher. Every time you tried to breathe now, you could feel it. What was that? Why couldn’t you swallow it away?

You scratched at your throat and your hand rubbed over your face lightly, coming back wet.

Great. You were crying now and with the defeated way his shoulders sagged and the sound of his breathing you could tell that he was close to the same.

“Having to …wait to see you. Making appointments like a business meeting so I can touch you. Not being able to look at you with my own two eyes to make sure you’re eating well or sleeping well.” When he inhaled a breath it sounded as unstable as the soy sauce ready to shatter against the hard marble floor.

“I know it’s not enough,” he said.

The lump was at the back of your tongue and you lifted both hands to cover your face and block out the sight his defeated shoulders sagging like that. His head had hung so low you couldn’t even make out the top of his blonde hair anymore. Or was it grey now? His hair changed like the calendar days and sometimes you missed entire shades. You heard from a fansite that his hair was a chestnut brown for a small while recently, yet you saw no evidence with your own two eyes.

With your hands over your eyes, you didn’t have to see any of the tremblings you heard in his lungs. You only heard the sound of the gasp of breath. You only heard the shift as he turned and pivoted and you only felt the tremble in his fingertips that brushed lightly over the back of your head.

“Am… I fucking this up?” Your lips trembled against your will and your eyes burned as fresh tears welled up and spilled below your fingers. “God…I love you so much. Am I ruining us?”

You gasped in for air, unable to breathe right through your hands and through the trembling and when you risked a look you could see the pain on his face.

Baekhyun, your Baekhyun. That beautiful human who you loved and who loved you; who promised you everything, but who also promised his company and his group and his fans everything as well, and worked himself to death to deliver on all of the promises, only failing himself in the end when he collapsed into his bed for three hours of sleep on an exhausted body and mind and soul so he could wake up and do it all over again. Baekhyun was crying, the tears flooded his eyes and spilled out over his cheeks and his nose was as pink as those hearts. The eye makeup left on his eyes smudged below his water line and he closed his eyes. Fresh tears fell with the action.

He sank. His hands reached out to you, reaching around your waist and his legs bent at the knees as he sank down onto the kitchen floor at your feet and he wrapped both arms tightly around you, bending at the elbows with the tightness with which he grasped and his face was buried into your belly, surely wiping the tears from his face and onto the soft sweater that kept you warm in this cold apartment.

“I can’t take care of you like I want to. I can’t do anything but this, and if it’s not enough I don’t know what I will do.” He was begging now, on his knees and all and you slipped your fingertips inside his hair, cradling the back of his head against your body. The touch of your hand made him gasp wildly, stealing his oxygen from the tiny spaces between the knit of your fabric; he breathed you in deeply and desperately as his arms constricted tighter around you.

“It has to be enough Baekhyun,” you found your voice easier when you didn’t have to imagine that he was somehow disappointed in you. “We will make it be enough.”

His arms were too tight for you to move at all and you pushed against his shoulder, trying to get him to loosen the grip enough for some movement.

His arm muscles relaxed just enough and you sank down with him. If he was going to be down here begging then so were you. Within the tiny space to move between those arms you took your chance and sat, finding yourself in the right spot to reach for his waist with your own arms and wrap them tightly around, as tightly as he held onto you, you held on to him and when you buried your own face in the crook of his neck you felt the warmth of his skin below your lips. When you breathed in, you smelled him surrounding and filling your senses and when you pursed your lips and kissed the skin of his neck he shifted and pulled against your chin with the tips of his fingers until his lips were on yours and he was kissing you with that same desperation that stole the oxygen from your belly and squeezed strong arms around your frame until your bones ached.

The wetness on his face mingled with your own and his lips tasted of salt. Inside of his mouth tasted like Baekhyun and the way his lips pulled against your own felt like the man you loved.

Behind your back, his arms moved, pulling at the thick blanket you had discarded on the floor and you felt him pull you around, spinning you in place quickly, before he pushed you down to the floor, over the blanket that had been your source of warmth before his unexpected arrival. The warmth of the blanket at your back felt inviting, but the warmth of his body covering over your own was like a fire. The shift was instantaneous and demanded attention at once. It was like this with Baekhyun sometimes. The heightened emotions flooding your body changed into a rough demanding desire and you pulled at the shirt he still wore, seeking out the smoothness of his skin with your fingertips. He was softer lately, gone was the thin skin over firm muscles that covered his bones, he had a soft feeling to his skin that you could sink your fingertips into and you coveted it in a way that made you crazy at times.

While you pulled at his clothing, he pulled roughly at your sweater until you finally sat up enough for it to be pulled over your head and your hips were lifted enough for him to pull your cozy sweatpants down along with your underwear. The back of your mind nagged about razors and sexy underwear that would simply have to be ignored for now because it wasn’t a pink heart day and you had no idea that he would be here, ripping at your clothing like it was on fire as he moved between your parted legs with lightly biting teeth and deep breaths against your center that made your knees tremble as you tried to keep them upright.

There was no ceremony. There was no asking of permission or light kisses that lead up to what he wanted; instead, he pulled hard and fast at your legs, gripping fingers deep into your thighs, he shoved your legs wide and he was gone from your line of sight.

The sensations overwhelmed, and if you foolishly expected anything else from him right now, you were a damn idiot, because you should have known you didn’t stand a chance tonight.

You reached for his head at the same time that he reached forward with the tip of his tongue and only the first touch was gentle. When his fingertips sank down hard into the softness of your thighs, your fingertips curled into his hair and gripped tight and there was a guttural sound that emerged from his chest. In response to you pulling his hair, pulling him into you, or merely the culmination of everything else, you couldn’t find it in you to care right now.

After the sound, came the words. Peppered in between actions as his lips sucked harder around your clit and his tongue licked up the moisture between your folds, he was speaking to you, in a low voice, hardly loud enough for you to make out the individual syllables.

“God, I’ve missed you.”

“You taste so fucking good.”

“Did you miss me too?”

With the low volume, you half wondered if he was speaking to you, or directly between your legs.

When his fingers joined the onslaught, your mind was far away from formulating any sort of a response to the questions, and his fingertips ran circles inside of your entrance coaxing you into submission as he whispered his requests again.

“That’s right, cum on my face, baby, I need to drink you up,” he sucked and pulled against your clit and it was too late for any refusals from you as your muscles tensed and your walls tightened around his fingers. He did not let up. He did not abate and he pulled from you, again and again, swallowing down all he could until your legs went slack and your gasping lungs ached for fresh air. Anything you could get to fill your lungs would do, you must have been holding your breath as you came.

When your eyes opened you found him perched on his ankles, one hand resting on your knee and the other somewhere near the floor and he was watching you through half-closed eyelids and his lungs roughly pushing air through his heaving chest.

And he was soaked. From his cheeks to his shoulder blades, he shone with the wetness of you. There was something behind his gaze, something other than the mind-blowing orgasm you were still trying to recover from. Something darker than desire.

He moved his hand first. The one that was hanging down between your legs, and slipped wet fingertips up the length of your stomach, slowly passed your navel, he left a trail of wetness over you until he came to rest over your breast. His eyes watched your face as he moved and that darkness remained behind his irises.

“There are a few truths about you that make me lose my mind—” his voice was husky and affected and you knew that if he had gotten the chance to remove his pants during the rapid-fire strip show earlier he might not have as much self-restraint as he was displaying right now.

“You are…really fucking beautiful—” he lowered himself, bringing his face closer to yours as he looked into your face with his words. On the surface, they felt like compliments, like the ones he sang sweetly into your ear night after night on the phone, or texted to you daily when he was too busy for any phone calls, but that darkness in his eyes felt more like frustration now than anything else you could call it. “—I mean, just gorgeous. Do you ever look in the mirror at yourself? Fuck, it makes me so crazy when I can’t touch you like this.” His hand squeezed around your breast and you closed your eyes when his fingertips pinched against your nipple.

You arched your back into his hand and he relaxed the grip and narrowed his eyes.

“And you are also really …really fucking stubborn.”

This was maddening. Your fingers reached for the sweatpants he wore where he rested between your parted legs on the floor of your kitchen. There was nothing but a blanket to keep you cushioned and yet your eyes zeroed in on those pants and you saw nothing else.

You wanted him. You wanted him to quit teasing you like this and fuck you already; how long had it been since you’d felt him inside of you? How long had it been since his moans in your ear were not through the phone but in person as he pushed in deep and you could wrap your legs around him so he couldn’t leave you again?

“Baekhyun, take your pants off,” you said and his eyes dropped to watch your hands struggling to push at the waistband of his pants.

“Don’t you want to know why I came home to you today?”

While you had been very curious for a moment when you heard the door code, you had to admit the question was lost in the fray. You felt caught suddenly; your hand reaching into his pants went still when he asked the question and you tilted your head in genuine wonder now.

“Because I couldn’t breathe,” he said. “We were working…practicing hard for, I don’t even know how many hours now and I had a missed call from you on my phone and you sounded…I don’t know, you sounded just wrong.”

You recalled the phone call. You had been feeling particularly lonely today and you knew he wouldn’t be able to answer but you called him anyway; leaving a long voicemail message about your day. It was nothing really. You definitely weren’t calling him to make him come home to you today.

“And after that, I kept trying to breathe, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t get enough air. I kept feeling like that, and I thought it would go away when I saw you, but you… you’re so fucking stubborn about these things, love. You have to let me take care of you the only way I can.

“It’s killing me that I can’t be here with you every hour of every day of every week. Do you know how much I crave you? How can my heart be settled if you don’t even have anything to eat here? If you’re sad…or if you’re lonely, or if you’re angry at me for being away I want you to call me and fucking yell at me about it. Or call me and tell me to get home right this instant to kiss you, I’ll pretend like I broke my fucking leg, I don’t care, I’ll make it happen.”

You watched the words flying from his lips. You watched the emotions flitting over his features as he spoke and you relaxed your hands around his pants, feeling rather silly for letting your desire get the better of you. When your hands slipped you felt something stiff in his pocket. Something square—a box of some kind and your curiosity piqued again as you ran your fingertips along the edge of it, over the fabric of his pants.

“What’s that?” Your intent was not to change the subject, more so that you had settled into this little mood with him now and the rush of the sex had faded some, bringing back just a touch of the playfulness you found within your soul for Byun Baekhyun.

“A gift,” he said calmly and he was shifting onto his butt so he could reach into his pocket for the small blue box. “For you. It’s very expensive. I spent a shitload of our money on this.”

You heard the challenge in his voice as he held on to the little box and lifted a single eyebrow. There wasn’t a single trace of a smile on his lips as he spoke.

Honestly, this felt like a test. If you refused the gift, of course, he would be hurt. He bought it for you and you frowned your lips for a second as you considered.

Gifts were gifts. He loved you and liked to occasionally buy you things that caught his eye; reminded him of your face, or your lips, or your eyes. You even kept the weird keychain that he swore reminded him of your left pinky toe. Your jewelry box was honestly rather full of these sorts of things by now and while you had an idea that they were real and probably very expensive, he never mentioned the price until this moment.

You reached for it, quickly pulled the lid off and peered inside at the rows of round brilliant diamonds that lined the necklace, leading down to a pink teardrop stone that hung in the center. The box said Tiffany&Co. and you knew he wasn’t exaggerating when he said it must have been very expensive. The diamonds in the chain alone had to be worth thousands, and the pink stone in the middle was at least in the double-digit carat size. It was too much. It was always too much from him, but he watched you like a hawk now that you had seen it. Waiting for some sort of a reaction.

“Baek—” you began as word flew through your mind.

_This is beautiful, thank you._

_This is too much. You should return it._

He was moving; pulling at the packaging inside that held the necklace in place and he held the chain with nimble fingers as he opened the delicate clasp that held it together.

“Wait…” you said, interrupting the man right before he closed it around your neck and he pulled back with his dark eyes on your face, “—what body part does this remind you of?”

At last…at fucking last, you saw the corners of his lips pull open and he flashed a lazy smile at you as his nostrils flared slightly with an inhale of breath.

He moved again, his hands pulling the necklace in place around your neck and leaning in close to close it. With him this close to you again you took advantage and shifted onto his lap, straddling him with your thighs on both sides of his.

It wasn’t lost on you that he didn’t answer your question though, and you wiggled your hips back and forth over his lap with a whine. You heard a tiny giggle from his chest and he made a sound of disagreement from his throat.

“Come on, what is it?” You repeated and he dipped his head away from your searching eyes for a moment before he, at last, leaned in to whisper into your ear.

“What did I just suck on to make you cum on my face?”

Baekhyun had a way with surprises and this goddamn necklace that, now that you looked closely at the pink stone around your neck, kinda-sorta did look perhaps a bit like a clit. But hearing him make this sort of comparison sent a flood of blood rushing to your face and filled your chest with honest to god giggles that originated deep inside of you and bubbled forth from your lips.

Of course, he ate up your laughter. Baekhyun was, and always would be, a performer and his blinding smile he sent your way in response was enough to lift the storm clouds that had been following you around all day long.

“I can’t believe you,” you said between the giggles. “You really are a pervert sometimes.”

The wink before the kiss that claimed your laughing lips was a full agreement and he responded like he always did when you called him out.

“You love it,” he said and he was right. You did.


	33. BONUS - Deleted Scenes - Dressed Up (part 1 of 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Warnings: a pretty woman makeover, nudity, an attempt at seduction via video call, Houston we have a sugar daddy.

  
  


This shop wasn’t your usual style. What was your usual style? The sale rack at that department store in the mall. This place was definitely not your style. The second you walked in you could feel it. There was a mild and pleasant fragrance wafting around your nose as you stepped through the double french doors and from the corner of your eye you saw a woman dressed smartly with a tasteful pencil skirt and heels that were not too high for a full shift of standing on her feet.

If she made any judgements about you upon entering the store, she kept them to herself. The fact that you didn’t quite fit the look of this boutique’s typical clientele wasn't lost on you and you nearly spun on your heels right on out that door before she was able to call out her welcoming greeting.

_‘Something nice. This is going to be black-tie so go buy something nice. Ask the shop ladies for suggestions…’_

You couldn’t leave. The company party was tonight and you’d be damned if you would be the only one wearing a five year old sale rack little black dress from the back of your closet. You didn’t even want to think about the complaining such a move would produce from Baekhyun. You’d surely never hear the end of it.

The woman in the tasteful heels immediately approached you with a stepford-wife smile on her face. You’d taken seven steps inside and weren’t circling around toward the exit despite glancing at the first tiny price-tag that hung from the sleeve of a plain white designer blouse. It wasn’t even that fancy of a blouse. It just had round pearled buttons going down the front and looked like it might even be a bit see through in the right lighting and -- sweet jesus, it was thousands of dollars. For a white shirt. Your eyes widened on their own and immediately you shook away the queasy feeling in the pit of your stomach.

_‘...and please, just don't look at the prices. Please just ignore that...for me, huh? Like the way I ignored the six packages of sausages you accidentally threw away because the lighting was bad and you thought that they were expired when they totally weren’t and I just ignored it and cried silently in the bathroom because of all those delicious sausages that I had just bought and you threw them all — just….’_

His heavy breathing echoed into your ear and you could practically feel the heat from his lungs coating your eardrum with his frustrating memory of that single week when you’d been on an obsessive cleaning kick since watching Marie Kondo saving counter space and saving lives in the process.

_‘Just ignore the price. Like I ignored the second love of my life being wasted like...like some common garbage. Please...do this for me, as the first love of my life...’_

Was this really the right place? You had checked the address for the boutique three times in your phone before you even exited the taxi cab and it all seemed to match. This was the honest to god place, Byun Baekhyun, your foolishly loveable husband, had sent you to buy your evening gown for tonight’s party. You had an appointment at a salon after this and you didn’t quite know how you would get through the evening in one piece after all the strangers and their fussing.

Baekhyun had asked you to come. Baekhyun wanted you there and it was an important evening to him. A social event with the influential, the powerful, the up-and-comings in his industry and with his friends and he wanted you, his (still secret) wife on his arm. You were certain he would be dressed impeccably with a tailored suit, shined shoes, full hair and makeup no doubt. If there was one irrefutable fact about the man, it was that he thrived when he looked good. And he was going to outshine all others. The least you could do was put forth a little effort.

“Welcome, Miss,” the woman spoke up at last and your smile felt entirely too tense to look natural on your face. “Mr. Byun called ahead. If you would follow me, we have a selection of pieces for you to try.”

Pieces. They called the dresses pieces which meant they surely would carry a price-tag that rivaled some of the art that hung on the wall of that exclusive art gallery you saw next door.

And he called them ahead for you?

Of course he did. That was probably going to be the least surprising thing about this entire evening. That Baekhyun was simply unable to contain his excitement about a fancy schmancy dress up party which the both of you were attending together; of course he couldn't resist getting in on the decision making. You wondered what sorts of dresses he’d instructed them to pick. You wondered if he paid any attention at all to keeping within some sort of a budget. That sort of thing didn’t really seem appropriate in a place like this though.

You found yourself seated in an armchair and beside you sat a crystal glass with cold ice water. You began to reach for it, but quickly pulled your hand back as images of knocking the whole thing over on yourself played through your mind.

There was but a pause to breathe before the parade began. Young women with matching uniforms all carrying evening gowns in different shades and styles all walked before you with their smiles pasted firmly to their faces and their eyes all fallen down just so. You’d been so caught off guard by the fact that not a single one of them would look you in the eyes that you forgot to look at the first five dresses that passed you by.

It wasn’t until the color red popped like a bubble in your field of vision and pulled your focus down to the gown that was making its way directly in front of you and you looked down at it and...and...

 _Oh_.

_Oh my, that was…_

You sat up straighter -- a gut reaction -- and the woman carrying the red gown stopped her movement the moment you flinched.

“Can I just…” You hated to interrupt their little show, but this one felt different than the others somehow. Despite with the way it hung lifelessly in her arms like a deflated balloon you could see the quality of the sheer fabric that draped over the floral lace bodice below. The neckline below the tulle plunged deep and from the look of it, the skin-tone fabric bodice gave the illusion of showing a lot more skin than it actually did.

You couldn’t possibly pull this dress off, could you?

“Ahh, the Valentino. Excellent choice — bring that one. She will wear the Valentino.” A voice boomed from somewhere behind you and the once quiet sales woman that initially greeted you was clapping her hands as she directed her army of dress-cradling women to leave the room. Only a select few remained for the fitting.

As you threw away your reservations of disrobing in front of a room full of eerily quiet strangers, you placed your first tentative foot inside the open gown and as it was pulled up and closed up around you, one thing about this dress became abundantly clear.

You weren’t just wearing the Valentino.

Oh, no.

The Valentino was wearing you.

Your first spin to face the triple mirrors that lined the wall had you under a spell and the flow of fabric that swayed and followed your spin made you feel powerful. Perhaps it was the very real skin just above your navel that was made visible by the deep plunge of the neckline below the red tulle, or perhaps it was the way the contoured lace fabric hugged your breasts, leaving them covered while giving the illusion of leaving them bare -- and the curve around your hips that cinched around your waist and flattered the shape of you -- but, wow, this dress was incredible. This dress hugged your every curve as if it were created with only you in the designer‘s mind.

This dress was...yours. Marie might even say that it sparked joy in a way that no other garment that had been placed upon your skin in this lifetime had ever done before.

The bright overhead lights brought out a sparkle in your eyes that made you feel like a hundred carat engagement ring sitting inside a locked display case of the finest jewelry store in all of the world and as you ran your fingers down the curve of your hips, finding the spot where the under dress ended up high on your thighs and the sheer red continued as if it’s only job was to tease at the idea of a covering -- you visibly swooned.

“How much is this one?” Your voice sounded dreamy, heavily affected and almost drunk, and you caught a glimpse of humanity as you made a split second of eye contact with one of the women who had helped you into the dress. As quickly as it happened, she looked away from your face and into the face of the shop woman behind you, but her cheeks were pink -- her eyelids fluttered rapidly. It was a hairline crack in her composure. The slip of the woman made your cheeks feel flush and you remembered where you were and who you were and what kinds of questions the patrons of this shop didn’t usually ask outloud. You wondered if in another life, you and this young woman who steadied her gaze away from your prying eyes, might have been friends.

“It’s within the budget, Miss,” the shop woman said.

“There is a budget?” This time your question was genuine curiosity and you lifted your brows and spun to look into her amused face.

“There is a minimum budget, yes.”

Impossible. He was impossible.

“Just tell me how many zeroes.” It felt like bargaining with the enemy at this point and the stitched floral design in the lace bodice had some sparkle to it when you rocked your hips back and forth in this lighting. It was probably hand stitched by an expert seamstress. Someone had loved this fabric with their fingertips and a needle and sterling thread and you hoped their hard work had been handsomely rewarded.

She had gone quiet behind you and you figured her bonus was at stake if she spilled the beans your dear husband had insisted she keep a tight lid on so you lifted your chin and let out a sigh of defeat.

“I’ll pay with my own card.” It looked like defeat to the casual observer. Yes, you were using the card he gave you and yes, it was funded by his money. Yes, he would get a text message that the card was used with the purchase amount and location but the benefit of using your own card meant that you would also get the same text message.

If it was too much you could always just return it then and there, right?

Maybe you could go to the mall and find something there that looked just like this if you squinted and covered one eye as you looked at it.

Your card was already swiped and yet, the dress that had just been charged was nowhere in sight. There was a second where you paused and your eyes wandered over the faces of the shop attendants with just a hint of a question on the tip of your tongue. Your card was quietly returned by the sales woman and her smile preceded her answer to your unspoken question.

“We will have it delivered to your home within the hour.”

Oh, right. Rich people didn’t carry bags. Well, except for the designer ones hung over their limp wrists with the logo facing outward for all to see.

It was for the best anyway, you had two more stops to make before checking in with the dog sitter for the evening. She, a young girl named Sunny, had been highly recommended by one of Baekhyun’s bandmates for her reliability and patience with young puppies. In fact, she was going to be taking care of two poodles that belonged to another member tonight along with your and Baekhyun’s new puppy. You tried not to worry too much for the tiny ball of fluff. After listening in on Baekhyun’s phone call with Sunny, you were certain the poor girl had been given plenty of helicopter-parent instructions from him, she didn’t need your worried phone calls to add to the mix.

You were already on your way through the double french doors of the shoe shop when you felt the vibration of your cell phone through the layers of your leather bag against your hip.

That would be it; the text message alerting the card holder that their credit card had been used to purchase a, most likely, obscenely expensive garment that would be worn exactly one time. Did you dare look? Maybe looking was a bad idea. Maybe when you looked you would lose the nerve to make your way through the double french doors of the designer shoe store that was next on your itinerary.

Your fingers felt itchy. The back of the taxi was quiet enough to hear the sound of your cell phone calling out your name, telling you to check to see what the damage was so you could begin freaking out already.

You were powerless to stop yourself and as you pulled your cell phone out of your bag you felt it vibrating again, this time for a new text messages that had just arrived.

On your screen, just above the notification that read ‘ _A transaction has been made on your credit card in the amount of…’_ , sat a new text message notification from _‘Curry & Chocolate’_ and you clicked there first. Would Baekhyun have something to say about how much the dress cost? Would he shake his head that you had squandered so much of his hard earned money on something so frivolous and wasteful?

_‘Omgomgomgomgomg asdflakdfja;lkjfa … which one did you get?!!!’_

This was followed immediately by a message that read ‘ _WAIT NO DON’T TELL ME!! I want to be surprised_ ,’ that was succeeded by every single heart emoji he could find in his phone’s keyboard.

You hadn’t actually ever done this before. Gone shopping without him, spending vast amounts of money on yourself like this, and you could see the excitement in the messages that came one after another on your phone.

_‘Is it too pretty? What if you look too pretty and i faint in public?’_

_‘It’s not like this is our wedding day -- you can send me a picture as you’re getting ready, so i can prepare myself, right?’_

His enthusiasm was adorable and you had to bite down on your lip to keep from giggling all alone in the back seat of this taxi. 

_‘No, don't send me a picture. I want to be surprised. I’ll just drop dead, it’s okay. I’ll die happy_.’

Knowing Baekhyun as well as you did, you knew that his meandering mind would eventually settle itself on its own and you didn’t have to respond to these messages with anything except for a few heart emojis and a quick reminder that you were still not done shopping for tonight. You replied that you had just arrived at the shoe store and would be quite busy in the salon for hair and makeup shortly after.

You weren’t sure what you had been expecting. The fancy dress store had lead you into a false sense of security that made you forget that designer shoes were just as ridiculously overpriced as designer fashion was and you sighed right out loud as you handed over your card to pay for the strappy heels with the blood red lacquered soles whose designer’s name you couldn't even spell without the assistance of autocorrect and you swallowed down the guilt that you would be wearing something on your feet that, if sold, would feed a family of four for several months.

Your hands were shaking when you signed the receipt and when your phone vibrated again, alerting you of the charge to your card, you cursed at your ability to do mental math as you began to tally up the totals.

Of course he texted you again after the bank did and the diamond and heart emojis that he sent did not help ease any of the guilt, despite the weirdly obvious clues that he was somehow having a fun time watching you spend so much of his money. At this rate, you would be the most expensive thing on his arm tonight — blowing out of the water, the hefty price tags of any of the fancy watches he could choose from to adorn his wrist. Even if he wore them all at once, they would not compare.

Your nails were done; hands and feet to match the red of the Valentino (because everything else should fall in line when this dress was clearly the one in charge) -- your hair was halfway there and the makeup on your face was pristine and set with products that the beautician swore would not budge all night long and all you wanted to do was curl up and take a nap by the time you were done with all the card swiping and receipt signing.

You had a schedule to keep though, and once through the doors of your home you were called back to the ringing doorbell when the deliveries started. First it was the dress, shoes; a new clutch for tonight’s essentials and when the door rang again you glanced around at all of the crisp and expensive packages, taking a quick inventory and coming up with a new question mark. Everything you had purchases today had already been received, yet the young man in the classy suit who stood at your door was holding a package in his hands with the markings from a store you had not visited today.

You were friendly enough although hesitant to receive this latest delivery for fear that it had somehow been sent in error. The man in the suit smiled wider and urged your focus down, pushed the package closer to you and his eyes begged you to just take it already. When he confirmed your name and you admitted that, yes, you were the person he sought out you really had no other move but to finally accept what he was offering.

You felt downright funny about this. The package was small; not another evening gown or pair of shoes. You’d seen enough of high priced boutiques today to recognize that this item was of a similar source. Only as you reached inside and pulled out the heavy black clamshell case, you knew immediately that you were handling expensive jewelry and you definitely had not visited a jewelry store in your shopping today.

Inside, the clamshell was velvet lined and housed a set of jewelry — sparkling diamonds, lots and lots of them. You saw teardrop earrings that matched a diamond necklace and even a delicate bracelet with the sparkling stones going all the way around and you set the whole thing down onto your granite kitchen countertop to get a good look at the way the stones took ahold of the fluorescent lights above your head and shot them back at you from all directions. The sparkles were astounding. The cuts of each stone overwhelmed and you also had to get a good breath of air into your lungs because you honestly had been holding your breath as you stared at the gorgeous jewels before you.

It was too much...but at this point would such a statement even make any difference? It was already here in your hands.

You pulled your phone out and snapped a shot of the jewelry, slightly annoyed that your phone’s camera couldn't capture the full range of sparkle, and you sent the image to your husband.

_‘Please tell me this is rented.’_

He didn’t respond to your text message and the longer you looked down at the jewelry, the prettier the sparkle of those stones looked once you moved in the recessed lighting of your bedroom.

The more you touched them and handled them and held the necklace up against your neck or the earrings up to your ears, the more beautiful the image of those diamonds adorning your skin made you feel and when you stood in front of floor length mirror in your spacious bathroom you were wearing them all, and you wore absolutely nothing else to compete with the sparks of light shooting off of those precious stones that decorated your body -- and oh, you felt it.

The priceless and perfect, here and now.

You felt like possibly a million bucks even well before you put on the dress and everything else this man had already provided for you.

This was his mark. The strands of diamonds that completely encircled your wrist, throwing fire with each slight movement of your hand over the bare skin as you raked perfectly manicured nails over one bare breast. You watched the light travel over your skin and you felt the traces of him all over you.

The shine of the biggest stone, seated over the hollow of your neck, where his lips and teeth had tasted your skin countless times, that stone there beckoned to you with the sweet softness of his voice - _mine, mine, mine_ , as he often called out in the warm pauses between breaths.

An urge was brewing inside of your chest. Below where the diamond sat, deeper inside where with each of your deepest inhales could not seem to satiate. Your slow exhale only quenched the superficial need for air, but this urge ran deeper.

This was not something you and he did.

You had never allowed it before — extravagant and expensive gifts. Sure he had tried in the past but you had put up enough of a fuss about the price of things he gifted you, and the unfairness of it. That you could never match the price tag with the things you bought him. You’d made it clear that this sort of disparity irked you and he had always followed along, choosing instead gifts with more sentimental value than monetary value and you and him both treasured the meaning behind these gestures above all else.

But this—

What would be his meaning behind the diamonds?

That tonight was such a special occasion and your ensemble required only the absolute finest embellishment. Ornate, gilded, and as beautiful as the love you felt when you looked into his eyes.

Was this how Baekhyun wanted to show off his love for you? Could his intentions be this obvious?

A single faint vibration sounded from the dresser of your bedroom and you pulled your eyes from the mirror for a moment.

_‘What are you doing~’_

He couldn’t have possibly been bored. He was supposed to be getting ready for tonight, and you knew he had less than an hour before he had to be at the venue and you had been scheduled to arrive within the following hour to keep the photographers, who likely camped outside, in the dark about the true nature of your relationship with your very successful and very important idol.

_‘I am trying on the diamonds’_

It wasn’t, ‘I am googling the price’ or ‘I am returning them to the store’, instead you were uncharacteristically and alarmingly honest about just how weak this particular set of jewelry had made you. Perhaps it had been the entire day of shopping and your sense of proper wifely behavior had been thrown off, but that urge that sat inside of your chest swelled up again, inflating your lungs and making the lights from the ceiling reflect beautifully off the enormous diamond that hung around your neck.

When you turned your head, the teardrops hanging from your ears swayed with the movement and you tucked an invisible strand of hair behind your ear to watch the delicate way your bracelet slid over your arm with the motion.

_‘Oh?’_

His response was tentative. It was the tip of a toe dipped into a swimming pool and pulled back out again. Only to check the temperature, of course. He wasn’t about to dive in just yet.

The deliberate silence that followed that single syllable word was an advanced tactic that you had been entirely unprepared for and you held your phone in one hand looking down at the screen, simply unable to believe that he had no follow up inquiry for you.

He wasn’t even typing.

He had gone completely silent after that gentle and soft nudge that had filled you with so much curiosity and tension that it sent your thumbs down hard on the screen of your phone. You hit a few random letters and deleted them, surely giving away your obvious unrest after his ploy.

Didn’t he have anything else to ask you? Didn’t he want to know if you liked them, or maybe give you some details about how he just happened to run across this particular set of jewelry that looked as if it were made specifically with your tastes in mind when you had been given less than three days notice about this entire event and the fact that you would be attending had been well up in the air until this very morning. Did he really have nothing more to say?

You were being baited. You knew this.

_‘They are very, very beautiful, Baek...’_

It worked.

You had barely hit send when you saw the graphic on your screen that told you he was typing out a response.

He had been waiting it out.

_‘Can I see?’_

The air surrounding your bare skin had, prior to his simple question, felt quite warm and comfortable in temperature, yet the second you read his request you felt a chill run along your bare thighs; traveling quickly without a clear destination. It spread over your skin, pulling and puckering up your nipples and leaving the surface of your skin rough with goosebumps that reached well to the back of your neck.

As quick as the chill, came the heat and the surface of your cheeks felt warm to the touch as you typed out a three word response to the man who held more power over you than any other soul to walk this earth.

_‘Are you alone?’_

Baekhyun’s reply came without delay.

_‘Mhmm’_

Your fingertip stuttered for only a moment and you toyed with the decision.

You shouldn’t encourage this, the lavish spending you had always denied. You shouldn’t reward it.

And yet, a set of jewelry had never quite made you feel this way before. Sure, the tasteful diamond solitaire ring you wore on your finger was the symbol that brought all the warmth and love to the surface of your mind every time you looked down at it.

But this, it was Byun Baekhyun polished and sparkling bright and lovely around your neck. It was the years you had shared together dripping like liquid from the tips of your ear lobes and it was his long shimmering fingertips clasped around your wrist; holding on tight and promising to never let you go.

The video call was ringing and after a second of darkness the call was connected. You were rewarded with the view of his face; the top of his, already styled, light pink hair and dark eyes lined with the barest of eye makeup, applied by an expert’s hand, and his eyes focused on the view of you in front of him.

His eyes were moving and you knew from the way you held the phone and the image of yourself from the corner of your own screen, exactly what he would see. It would be the image of you, completely naked, except for the earrings, the necklace and the occasional spark of light from around your wrist.

Baekhyun’s eyes widened marginally, only enough to tell you that this was a surprise and you could hear the small puff of air exhaled through his parted lips as his eyes took in the sight of you.

He then closed his eyes and ran a hand with slender fingers over the length of his face, settling that hand over his mouth and his eyes pulled open again much too slowly. He hadn’t yet said a damn thing about what he thought about the diamonds.

Didn’t he think they complimented your skin tone perfectly? Didn’t the way that big stone pulled the delicate chain downward make your neck look pretty?

Did the sparkle of diamonds around your wrist make him want to hold your hand perhaps?

“Do you like them?” He finally spoke when he had removed his hand from over his lips and his voice was soft and low. Once the question was out he pulled his bottom lip between his teeth and he bit down. His eyes darted up to touch yours once before they drifted down again and you wondered if he was looking at the diamonds anymore or…

“I love them,” you whispered and lifted a hand to show off the way sparkles caught the light.

Your declaration pulled his eyes back into yours and pulled his lips wide as he flashed the smallest smile of satisfaction. This look on his face was somewhat hard to read. Of course he was quite pleased with himself, but there was something else inside of his eyes as his smile slowly fell and evened out again and his lips parted and a tiny puff of air escaped through his mouth.

“You look so, so beautiful in them,” he inhaled through those parted lips and narrowed his eyes, looking almost intoxicated as he seemed to loosen his focus, “I knew you would, when I saw them...I just— I couldn’t help myself, baby.”

The excuse was the first bit of a clue he had given you of the incredible cost. As you had suspected when you first saw them, they had to cost a lot.

He could not help himself, he said. Their beauty was simply too great to resist when he thought of spoiling you in such a way with this incredible gift. The idea that this man loved you so much, he was powerless against such a temptation...perhaps it was you who was intoxicated.

“Were they _very_ expensive, Baek?” The sound of your voice was soft and heavily affected now and you played with the necklace with your fingertips.

A sound betrayed him. A throaty whine, cut off quickly when he snapped his lips shut and he closed his eyes. He inhaled through his nose before you saw the up and down movement as he nodded his head. Yes. Yes they were.

“Do you always try on jewelry this way?” It came out almost as a complaint and you felt your lips pull into a smile. You enjoyed the thought that you could still have such a powerful effect on him.

“I want to buy you more,” you heard him say under a breath, his words trailing through the effort of their escape, “if this is how—”

“You did say you didn’t want to see the dress yet.” You lifted your shoulders with a little shrug as if you had merely been complying with his own request from earlier and not playing any dirty tricks involving expensive diamonds and gold and nipples and your navel and collar bones and the invitingly suggestive way you now leaned back onto your bed. The same bed that exactly four weeks prior he had pressed your back into as he pushed inside of you.

He had yet to return to you since then and you could feel the longing beginning to turn into desperation.

So that’s what the urge was. It was to be felt and touched and kissed and thoroughly had by your husband.

The same one who was staring now, cheeks flushed, so much more than the makeup he wore. He was positively pink, to match his hair and his lips.

“Do you miss me as much as I miss you?” You asked with the desperation sitting heavy on your tongue. You were certain he could hear it. You would do anything, you’d spend a million dollars just on yourself. You’d accept the luxury car he had been trying to sell you on. You’d even learn how to drive it. You’d do anything if it meant you could have just a little bit more of this man.

You laid a hand, the sparkly one, over your chest, between your bare breasts, where you could feel the steady thump of your heart. Something had changed on the other side of the screen and you lost Baekhyun's eyes for a split second as he glanced at something behind him. A noise perhaps. Did someone knock?

He returned to you promptly and leaned in too close to the screen for you to make anything of his face.

“Baby, this...this is already too much. How am I supposed to put on my suit if I can’t zip up my pants?”

When he leaned away from the phone enough for you to actually read his expression again you could clearly see the struggle written all over that pretty face. But, God, was he pretty. His hair was styled up, a rare hairstyle for him, and one that always made your knees weak.

There was an alarm ringing somewhere inside his room. You felt downright victorious when you shifted and let your knees fall open slightly, just enough to show off the full body wax you’d subjected yourself to as a part of all inclusive spa treatment paid for by the one and only EXO’s Byun Baekhyun and he covered his lips again with a hand that was much less steady than at the start of the call.

“Oh,” you heard him whisper. “Oh god, I’ve...I have made a terrible mistake.” He said softly to himself and he was looking down from the phone. He was looking behind his shoulder. He was looking down at his lap and then away from the screen again, in the other direction. “I should not have asked to see a damn thing. I should’ve left it the hell alone—why...why did I ask to see?”

He was looking all over, but he was not looking at you.

He was not appreciating the way the line of sparks around your wrist traveled slowly down your stomach, lower and deliberate in direction. The occasional glance of his eyes when he was too weak to resist touched upon your movement and you smiled to yourself.

He had worked so hard. He had spent so much. The least he could do was watch you enjoy them.

“It’s—it’s time for me to go—baby,” he huffed through gritted teeth, “I — do you… do you like them this much? I have to put my suit on and go.”

You nodded your head — mouth agape as your legs parted further and you slipped your hand lower, the tips of your fingers finding the smooth skin between your legs, parted directly in front of your phone now propped on a pillow. You were already so wet, you just needed him.

“F-Fuck—Wh—what the fuck— what are you...doing with your hand?”

He was cursing now. The sound of it fueled your desperation.

“Fuck.fuck.fuck— my manager is texting me. You— fuck— I’m so fucking hard, how dare you. ”

“What are you going to do about it, Baekhyun?” You hadn’t expected your question to come out sounding quite so challenging but with your fingers running lazy circles within your wetness you were already feeling entirely too reckless to control your tone.

“I’ll...there’s no time. I don’t have time. I have to go. He’s already outside knocking and texting me, baby, I have to...do some squats or fuck it, I’ll tuck it in my waistband. I’m usually dressed right but I guess I’m _dressed up_ tonight.”

“Are you really going to go?” The realization that he seemed to be quickly moving around his dressing room and the grunting you heard didn’t sound so much like sexy grunts and more like genuine effort made you sit up and look closely at the screen of your phone. He had sent it down and you could see movement as hasty arms were pulled through crisp white sleeves and his slim fingers fastened buttons and stuffed his stray shirt tails into his slacks.

You saw the evidence. Baekhyun had a full-on, sex-ready erection sending a bulge of black underwear through the open zipper of his pants and your arrousal/irritation that he would deny you so easily was temporarily halted by your genuine curiosity now.

You watched as he grabbed it. Just wrapped his right hand right around and his face twisted into one of pain as he seemed to squeeze down quite hard.

“Baek—don‘t...hurt yourself,” he looked like he was choking the life out of it and your voice took on a tone of genuine concern. You had seen one sex related injury come into your practicals at the hospital just this past week. The last thing this man (you) needed was to pull or strain something and be unable to fuck you later. You hadn’t seen him for a whole month. You did not want to wait even longer because he’d gone and broke his dick just because you had teased him too much.

His face ticked toward the phone and with all the ire and annoyance of a truly sexually denied man his words clipped back at you, “I’ve owned it longer than you have, darling. I know what I’m doing.” You held back the eye roll. You could write novels of all the ways you’d seen people hurt themselves when they had been positive they knew what they were doing.

Seemingly satisfied with his self aggression, Baekhyun pulled the thing up and with his other hand began zipping up slacks and shifting and pulling fabric around the offending appendage.

When he was all done, you had to admit it was hardly even noticeable unless you were you and you knew exactly the shape, length, width, and girth well enough to make out the exact outline of that dick inside of those pants. Of course you would easily find what was yours.

“I can still see it,” you said with a smug smile and his focus shot back at you with an equally smug grin.

“And I can still see what’s mine. All decorated so sparkly and pretty just for me. I might decide to add a pearl necklace too. If you love wearing my diamonds this much, perhaps you’d enjoy walking around with my cum on your tits all night.”

Your hand flew up to cover your mouth and you gasped. You actually _scandalized-church-nun_ gasped right out loud and the action betrayed you entirely against your will.

Perhaps more shocking than the words themselves was the sudden realization that your own arousal seemed to be the one betraying you.

The image he had put into your mind...it sounded so filthy, and so damn tempting. To be marked as his so obviously. This man was so desired by so many, yet there was only one for him.

Only you.

Could this possibly be why you took to the jewels so strongly?

Your response came out sounding more like a dare than a denial.

“You wouldn’t.”

He leveled his eyes and that frustrated look on his face shifted into one of sudden understanding. A single eyebrow bobbed above his eye.

“Ohh,” he whispered inside of a breath and the corners of his lips pulled into a smile, “oh, you _do_ want that, don't you?”

You felt unable to formulate a response. You doubted the question was rhetorical, yet you felt too stunned and too affected to reply.

“You know, it makes me so very excited to give you pretty things. Expensive things. Things that will show off your beauty. Things that show everyone that you are mine.

I would give you anything you wanted, my love. _Anything_.”

“Any—thing...” your words eked out slowly and softly in response to his, but there was little meaning in them. What you did feel deep inside your chest was a stronger sensation that had began to take root. Perhaps it had already been there; when you looked at him, through their eyes, the fans...when you saw the things they said about him, the yearnings and the longing they all expressed in elaborate and vivid ways.

And the feeling that grew inside of you as you watched them and all of their desperate wanting that was, again and again, denied.

When the cameras turned off and when the concert ended and the curtains closed and the staff went home and the acting ceased, Byun Baekhyun would pick up his phone and he would call you.

You would be at home or at school or in the subway or having lunch and your phone would ring and you would get his tired sighs or the subtle smiles and the pet names and when the stars aligned and his time off would coincide with your time off, your door would open and you would get his face and his lips and his smell and his skin and they...they had no idea.

This part was for you only.

And that feeling would surge again, just as it did when you unwrapped some gift he gave you, or opened your student loan statements to find that he had, again, made the last payment for you because the due date was coming up and you were going to be late due to your work payment schedule not quite aligning with the due date of the loan payment.

That feeling, it wasn’t quite the same as pride. It wasn’t smugness, or boasting that was fueling this, but it was an intense satisfaction that you were the lucky one. The one fortunate enough to receive his love. Baekhyun always found a way to make you feel like the absolute most important human in his world and even sitting here on the phone with him wearing the expensive diamonds he gave you, you could feel the profound gratitude that your life and his life had intertwined at such an important time as it had. That you had been given the chance to be loved and to love such a brilliantly beautiful man.

It made you feel the kind of special that did not happen to many people.

Baekhyun was dressed now. He was straightening a tie in a mirror and giving another rough tug at his waistband and he stood again in front of his phone, bending at the waist to place his pretty face into the frame of your video call.

You had given up on touching yourself by now. What was the point when he wouldn’t watch you do it.

“I’ll see you in an hour. You won't be late will you?” His voice still sounded huskier than usual but he was making the shift into business mode. You could tell in the way he straightened out his face, blinking his eyes wide before squeezing them tight and shaking his head a little bit to rid himself of whatever leftover effects of you might still remain there.

He was magical sometimes, the strength of character this man had inside of him was astounding.

After a few throat clears he opened his eyes. Baekhyun lightly kissed his fingertips and blew the tiny kiss toward you and responded with a little nose scrunch when you caught the kiss in the air in front of you quickly, before it could vanish, you laid it over your heart, where you liked to keep all of his long distance kisses.

The call went black and he was gone for now and you pushed yourself to your feet to finish getting ready for tonight.

[Stay tuned for part 2]


	34. BONUS - Deleted Scenes - Dressed Up (part 2 of 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Warnings(AKA goodies): sugar daddy kink, semi-public sex, sensory deprivation, panty sniffing, cum fetish/cum play with marking, cream pie, dirty talk, jeez stfu baek.

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You hadn’t done much research on the topic, so you couldn't be sure about how likely it was to actually happen, but you were nearly positive you were about to spontaneously combust at any moment. 

The aftereffects of your sexy video call with Baekhyun had left you in about as much of a state as you had ever felt yourself in before. 

Perhaps your decision to hold off on the easy and quick gratification; to let it go for now and focus on making yourself look beautiful for the evening instead, perhaps that had been a mistake. Your goal, of course, when you pulled yourself up from that bed and forced your body to move back into that bathroom so you could clean yourself up a bit, apply another coat of that lovely scented lotion to your already oversaturated skin, the only goal floating inside your fuzzy mind, was perhaps a little bit rooted somewhere in the realms of revenge. 

It wasn’t that you were mad. 

You were just wound up. In an _if-I-don’t-get-dicked-down-soon_ sort of way. You were frustrated. Your skin was sticky-hot to the touch despite the air conditioner in your apartment blasting a frigid temperature over your head and you were certain that if this had been a cartoon, animated heat waves would be visible rising up from the top of your head. 

This wouldn’t do. You needed to cool off before you slipped on the very expensive and luxurious dress that hung on your closet door; watching you and no doubt judging you for this obviously pitiful display of human malfunction. The garment made of sheer tulle and high-end silky lace with hand-stitched sterling embroidery wouldn’t be caught dead desperately chugging ice water and then sticking it’s entire head into the open freezer door when the ice didn’t cool it down fast enough. 

You had to just use this. This _mood_ that persisted would have to fuel your every move. 

You were going to get ready. You would put that dress on and its silky fingers would caress every inch of your hot skin as you slid into place inside of it and it cradled your curves and your bones in its beauty and you would show him and everyone at that party exactly what a truly beautiful and desirable woman could look like. 

You were just going to have to kill him.

You’d called ahead for the car. One of the perks of living in this particular apartment high-rise was the car service offered at an insanely expensive, completely unreasonable price. You’d only ever seen Baekhyun use it a handful of times, opting instead to drive his own car most of the time. Tonight was different. Tonight was special and you couldn’t quite see yourself stepping out of a plain old taxi cab onto the steps of the party venue, a luxurious five-star hotel in the heart of Seoul, wearing a dress of this caliber and gussied up in such a way. A taxi? No way.

No, tonight required an exit from the backseat of a large and mysterious black sedan with blacked-out windows and a personal crisp-suit clad driver who called you _‘Miss’_ and when you smiled into your response to his inquiry about where you were headed tonight, he actually stuttered a little bit and turned pink in the cheeks. 

He was young and adorable and seemed to be hesitant to make eye contact with you in the rearview mirror at the red lights even as you asked him casual questions about how long he’d been driving and where he was from. Satisfied with his short responses and finding little else to ask the man, you let your mind drift in the back of that car as your eyes raked over your own appearance at this very moment. 

When you were seated, minimally obscured by sheer red tulle, your smooth bare legs were completely visible up until high up on your thighs where the flesh-colored lace underdress began. The expensive elegant strappy heels, the soft skin of your legs, the perfectly manicured red toenails. Even the way you smelled — clean, tastefully perfumed in a new scent you had picked up at the salon — you had never felt quite this _clean_ in your entire life. All of this effort which had been the source of much exhaustion throughout the day suddenly felt invigorating. 

You looked good. Better than good, you looked like the kind of _expensive_ that most could only dream about and when you shifted in your seat, uncrossing one leg to switch to the other, pointing your toe inside of your shoe and slipping the sheer dress up higher to expose more of the leg you could see the diamonds around your wrist sparking in the night lights of the city despite the dark tinting in the windows; you could still make out some sparks in those magical stones. 

Slipping easily into your traveling mind came _his face_. 

His slight lips; the softness and pinkness you would see in them. The yielding flesh of his cushy cheek that gave just a little when you pressed your lips against them. The goosebumps that would travel up your spine into the back of your scalp and explode over your crown when you would feel him arrive behind you and slip his long fingers over your shoulder. He would coat you slowly but completely as your back connected with him and his hand would move. Lightly touching and reaching for the space over your voice box; his fingers tripping lower over your sternum and grabbing with a hot palm over your breast, before the heat from his breath preceded the soft wetness of his lips on your neck. The warm exhale through his nose as his lips would open up and teeth would bite down on sensitive skin, pulling the flush of your skin to the surface with the suction of his mouth — it would make you melt; would make you moan; would make you acquiesce. 

A soft sigh from your own body betrayed you.

There would be rules tonight. Of course, there would. You wouldn't be allowed to touch him freely; nor he, you.

So... climbing into his lap and fucking him at the dinner table was obviously off-limits. 

Would you get to dance with him at least?

Could you even stand that? Being held in an embrace while being denied the satisfaction of and encouraging the drift of his hands or the tense grip of his fingertips into the curve of your ass. 

The daydream had brought a fresh wave of longing and your flushed skin once again prickled and heated. The warm temperature you felt in your thighs intimated to the much warmer, much more compelling heat that taunted from your inmost hollow. 

A pointed beep sounded out; an impatient driver in the car directly behind honked their horn and you looked up from your hands running lightly over warm thighs to catch the instant your driver looked away from the image of you in his rearview mirror. The car surged forward through the green light that had grown stale with his preoccupation. 

The feeling was unmistakable. The way you looked tonight was like a tempting and untouchable work of art. Made to be looked at and desired. Dreamed over perhaps. 

And untouchable by all except for one. 

The car came to a stop behind a line of cars all similar in price range and you waited for just a moment for the traffic to move through the large archway of the entrance to the hotel. Your invitation said the party would be held in the grand ballroom and there were crowds of people milling around outside, all flanking a central walkway where the occasional dressed up party guest walked. 

As your car moved closer, the butterflies inside your stomach began to flutter and rise up when you realized that the twinkle of lights you saw was not some flashy hotel signage but was actually the flashbulbs of cameras going off. 

You thought for sure the crowds of press and fans would have dissipated by now, but it appeared that a good number still remained, keeping a close eye on arriving guests for any sign of glimpsing a beloved celebrity. 

The cars were moving and your number was up. There was no turning back now. 

Your driver was out and you held your clutch tightly in the hand that gripped the tulle of your dress. You inhaled a steadying breath and poised yourself for your exit. 

Your car door opened. You reached for the extended hand of your driver and placed a heeled foot down on the cobblestone of the hotel’s circle drive. 

You heard voices and shouts and a murmur of sounds from people who clamored around you and a number of bright flashes illuminated your peripheral vision. 

You were not deaf, nor were you blind. You understood the questions on their voices. You, a regular girl who just happened to have been thrust into this life. You felt like an alien and a little bit of a fraud. Making them believe that you might be somehow worthy of their cameras, yet what other choice did you have? You had to walk this pathway to enter the venue, there was no side entrance for party guests. 

The _‘Who is she?' and ‘What agency?’_ mingled with their best guesses about who you might be. Even approving comments on your style and a few shouts for you to stop and turn for their photos. You gave a stiff smile and a tiny wave and your diamonds sparkled brightly when their flashes exploded. Despite you being a complete nobody in their world of entertainment, you certainly seemed to fit the look of the kind of VVIP that would attend such an event. Pictures were snapped. Curiosities and questions were left unanswered and as you approached the rows of security at the main entrance, you’d hardly had a chance to pull out the exclusive invitation from your sparkly new _Tom Ford_ sequined evening clutch bag before you were simply ushered through the doorway. 

Nobody even really looked at it. You nearly paused your steps to make sure they really took notice of the invitation — your right to be here, dammit —you’d gone through the trouble of bringing it along with you. But the velvet ropes had been open for a while already and you ran the risk of blowing your cover completely if you questioned the inviting extended hand of the staff-woman who begged for your movement. 

“Right this way, Miss. Might I know the name of your party?” 

She walked along and slightly ahead of you. 

“Byun,” you said softly with just a little bit of that secret taste in your mouth as you spoke his name. You did not have to say his first name, as he would be the only _Byun_ in attendance. Aside from you, of course. 

“Ahh, very good. Artists of EXO are seated at the front section of tables on the left side. You will find your place labeled as the guest of the artist. Please let me know if you need anything.” 

She was bowing at the waist and you nodded your thanks, watching the top of her tightly formed bun of black hair that did not raise back up again. You gathered that she might stay there all night, bent in half like that, if you didn’t move to enter the main ballroom doors that were open in front of you. 

And you were going to go inside, it was just…

Well…

The noises inside were loud, boisterous, clanking of glassware, laughing voices, and modern pop music easily reaching your ears through that open doorway and well…

It was just so scary now. 

The enormity of this evening was hitting you hard and fast and you turned to look again at the bowing woman to find that, thank god, she was no longer bent in half but standing with her hands folded neatly over her belly and she merely looked at you with an innocuous smile on her face. 

“Just in there?” You asked the obvious and she smiled a millimeter wider and nodded her head once. 

You nodded in response and opened your lips to speak again but swallowed it away quickly.

A deep breath through closed eyes, just for a little more oxygen. A little courage. A few more seconds... One...two... 

On three you lifted your eyelids and your chin. You straightened your shoulders, aligned your spine, called upon every ounce of confidence you had inside of you to flow into your limbs and command your body...

And you walked. 

It was really just one several thousand dollar foot in front of the other. No big deal.

But oh… Oh, the brilliance was staggering.

Opulence, all around. From the enormously tall cathedral ceilings to the several, _several_ enormous crystal chandeliers that added to the incredible lighting display of the ballroom. 

It was too much to take in — the flowers and greenery that seemed to transform the entire place into a glistening botanical indoor garden to the lights that netted over the ceiling, giving the illusion of a starry night sky. And even the tables — the crisp white linens covering expertly decorated table settings that glowed with candlelight arranged around tall centerpieces made of fresh flowers with enough sparkle and glitz to blind you. 

It was a fairytale. 

Ultimately it was recognition that eventually pulled you out of your stunned reverie. Standing just a few feet away from you, holding a glass of champagne and covering her mouth as she laughed at something was, the queen of Kpop, BoA. You felt stunned and star-struck at the same time. She was so much smaller in person than on TV. Even with the tall heels she wore. She was just tiny. And so beautiful

Oh right, more than just seeing your dear sweet husband who you loved and missed dearly, you would also be right in the middle of this enormous SM Entertainment branded party. Most of the faces you saw were somewhat recognizable to you. And more than just floored that these talented and amazing people were actually real, you were flabbergasted with just how incredibly beautiful they all looked. As if SM itself had the secrets to the fountain of youth and slathered all of their artists with it upon entry into the company. 

Or perhaps it was just the money that did it. 

You lifted a palm to rest over your cheek, having seen an image of a glamorous woman in the mirrors that lined the walls near the entrance of the ballroom and realizing that she looked a lot like you. Only it felt impossible that you could compete with the beauty you saw in the faces of the beautiful people all around you. 

But was it possible? Did you also carry yourself with the same confidence and poise? 

Should there be any reason why you couldn’t? 

You were certainly dressed the part. You were successful and intelligent; even without the millionaire husband. You could hold your own in the busy hectic emergency room at the hospital and soon you would be finished with your internship and would be hired full time at the same hospital if you wanted. 

Hell, you might even skip the ER and make the move to specialize in the ever lucrative field of plastic surgery. You were practically overflowing with potential and there was no reason why you had to feel intimidated by that obviously well-off older gentleman who just walked by you wearing an actual smoking jacket and fuzzy _Gucci_ slippers on his feet; looking quite pleased with himself to be out in public wearing a glorified bathrobe and house shoes. 

You must have looked at him for too long. 

The old man had turned and locked eyes with you for long enough for your gawking to appear purposeful to him and his lips pulled into a wide grin. Directed right at you. Oh no.

Your mother had always taught you to be polite to elders and on instinct, you smiled softly and gave a single head nod. Something meant to acknowledge but you did not mean to encourage. 

When his grin changed into a single eyebrow lift and a swift change in his direction of travel, your smile fell. 

“New girl group?” He was speaking to you now. You hadn’t even walked very far into the party and you were already having this sort of experience. 

The man did not wait for you to answer, for now, he was really getting a good look at you. His eyes took you in from head to toe and you blanked out your face, lifting your chin and sighing a little loudly as you averted your eyes and relaxed the arm that held up your clutch bag, letting it drop dramatically and swing along your thigh. You felt it coming and you honestly didn’t want to do this. Come on, old man. 

“Or maybe someone with more _connections_?” 

Your sigh was not meant to be rude. You had no intention of being rude to him, but you were quite used to being leered at by creepy men who still had hope inside of them and you were beginning to lose interest in where this was headed. 

“Let me buy you a drink?” He said while reaching into his jacket for what you hoped wasn’t a wad of cash. 

It was a business card and you could see the letters C.E.O. Boldly written beside a name and above that, in larger letters, a company that you knew well. In fact, every time you used the refrigerator and microwave at home you saw his company’s name. 

“Isn’t this an open bar?” You asked out of genuine curiosity as you looked down at the man’s card. 

The old man’s eyes widened and he threw his head back as he let out a genuine laugh that pulled at the corners of his lips and his eyes. 

You couldn’t quite grasp what he found so funny about your question. You could clearly see waitresses and waiters carrying trays of various alcoholic drinks all around you and at the bar across the way, beside the walls covered in golden colored heavy drapery, the liquor was flowing freely without so much as a single bill exchanged. 

It suddenly occurred to you that he probably didn’t mean he wanted to buy you an actual drink right now, but more along the lines of perhaps buying you several of them at a later date at a fancy hotel bar and then a few more up in a penthouse suite room. You had mistakenly taken his pickup line at face value. 

He took a moment to recover and rubbed at his eyes. “Beautiful and funny — I like you,” he said, “Will you tell me your name.” The pattern of his speech took on a more direct delivery and while his request sounded, on the outside, like a question, there was little in his delivery that suggested as such. This man was very important, extremely aware of his own importance, and was not used to having to work very hard to get people to do what he wanted. 

“I’m sorry, Sir, but I need to go. I am meeting someone. Thank you for the...uhh...the card.” 

You lifted a, hopefully, polite hand as an apology and gave a small smile of faked regret. 

“Okay, dinner then. Or anything you want. I will spoil you rotten.” He was leering. It was too much and you shook your head again, with your smile slipping away into what you hoped wasn’t too rude of an expression, however persistent he was, you had to admit you felt a bit amused with the man’s attempts. Perhaps this was how he had come to be so successful in his life. He was just charming enough to keep you from getting mad. Still, you had no idea what kind of power this man had and what trouble he could cause if you weren't careful with your rejection. 

“I hope you have a lovely evening, Mr. Choi,” you said and you watched the moment of realization that flashed over his eyes. His lips pulled into a small pout and he shrugged lightly and dismissively. 

“Give me a call if he treats you badly,” he said, pointing a finger down at the card you still held between your fingers. You shook your head and tried your best to hand it back to him. Somehow not wanting to keep this, for fear that such an act might actually be an inappropriate thing to do. He wouldn’t take it back and you sighed, looking down and wondering where you could put this thing. Did you slip it into your purse? Did you put it in the trash? 

He was gone by the time you looked up and you walked further into the ballroom, where you began to recognize more and more faces of partygoers. 

Names were fuzzy. You recognized the faces of group members. NCT there, a few of them at least. Red Velvet was over there. Probably not all of them. OH! A few faces from Super Junior and was that PSY? Your mind was overwhelmed. You made eye contact with Johnny Seo and you quickly looked away from the man. You tried your best to play it cool. No big deal. Just Johnny from NCT. Oh god, he was looking at you. Why was he looking? You were just a nobody. Wow, he was handsome in person.

You saw his height first and a feeling of relief bubbled up inside your chest to see the wide toothy grin of Park Chanyeol as he talked and laughed with someone shorter whose face was obscured by other guests. But Chanyeol was like a beacon. Like a street sign that directed your travel. You could always see him in the crowd and if you just traveled toward him, you would be sure to find Baekhyun somewhere close by. 

North Star Park Chanyeol would lead the way. You would follow him to find your love.

A waitress passed by carrying a tray of champagne glasses and she paused in front of you for a moment to give you a chance to grab one. 

Your nerves were reaching new heights and you had agreed with yourself to keep it to a 2 drinks per hour limit tonight. It was a party, after all, and you were pretty certain that two would keep you just social enough to be able to handle looking at all of these untouchable people in the face without shrinking into yourself or falling to their feet to worship them. Two drinks as a limit would also keep you from being drunk. You could still control yourself with two drinks. This drink would be your first. You reached for the glass after slipping the C.E.O.’s business card that you, impossibly, still had under your thumb and your bag.

The champagne was of high quality and went down smoothly. You downed the entirety of the glass before you realized how you must look to the casual observer and you made a quick glance around yourself to survey the situation. 

You were met with eye contact and a smile. Again, it was Johnny, who seemed to be, beyond all reason, still paying close attention to you despite the small group of people who he stood amongst. Members of his group. A giggling pretty girl touching his arm, begging for his attention. 

Damn the eye contact and damn the amused smile of that man that watched you. 

The waitress was back and you placed the empty glass on her tray. 

It felt like a magnet. The pull to look back at your witness. It was mostly the embarrassment of your awkward moment being caught, but you gave in to the urge too easily and of course, he was still watching you, only this time his smile had changed to a chuckle and a head shake. 

Now was not the time for shame. You were gorgeous and you were here to have fun. Perhaps to make some new friends too. You grabbed for champaign number two from a tray that walked by and you lifted the glass in his direction with a smile and a lift of your eyebrows. He lifted his own glass into the air and the little exchange pulled the smile to your lips to match his. 

Maybe you would ask Baekhyun to introduce you later. 

The groups of people mingling, chatting, and networking grew a bit denser and you wove between the crowds, brushing a bit close behind Oh Sehun who spun around quickly and did a double-take when he realized who you were. He did a wide-eyed full body once over of you and his lips pulled into a friendly smile. 

“Oh my god, look at you — You look incredible!” He said noisily and his arms wrapped around your shoulders as he leaned down to plant a soft kiss against your cheek. Sehun had always been one of your favorites. 

“It’s so good to see you, Sehun,” you said, and you meant it. While he was a close and reliable friend, his schedule was just as busy as your husband’s and you found that you didn’t get to just sit and chat with him nearly as much as you would have liked. Occasions to see him, such as this, were extremely precious and rare. 

And while part of you longed to stay here and catch up on all you had missed in the life of the tall dark and handsome man who stood before you also noticed the interesting body language of the girl he had been chatting with and the way she quickly and discreetly pulled her hand away from his forearm, averting her eyes and looking down and away from him in the presence of someone she did not know. 

You leaned a bit closer to him and glanced pointedly toward the girl; a silent question on the subtle nod of your head. 

Sehun’s lips parted and he inhaled. A pregnant silence sitting for a moment on his tongue before he leaned down to whisper something into her ear that sent her head shaking back and forth in quiet protest. You heard a soft whine from Sehun in response. 

“Actually,” Sehun’s voice was very low now and you could see the grin on his lips as he gave actual voice to what was clearly some sort of secret between the two of them. 

“Sehun,” you heard her voice give out an obvious warning. 

True to his character though, Sehun didn’t heed the warning.

He was never one to do the expected and you heard the long sigh of defeat from the girl who now shot daggers up into the side of his face and then quickly looked at you with her eyebrows raised, ready to defend.

“Actually, this is my gi—” 

“Actually, I am...part of his security team,” she spoke over him quickly and the conviction in her voice wavered some when he looked down at her with disbelief written all over his face. You heard another whine, this time much stronger and he reached for her fingertips, gripping her hand to swing it back and forth. 

“But you said—” 

“I said I would think about it, Oh Sehun—you can‘t always just do whatever you want.” 

There was obviously something vitally important happening between these two and you waved a quick hand and gave a sheepish smile to Sehun as you made your way away from the bickering couple, suddenly invigorated by seeing more and more people who were closely connected to Baekhyun; he had to be close by. 

There were just so many people. 

Your eyes searched every face and when a laughing woman tipped her head back with a particularly violent burst of amusement you caught a glimpse of light pink hair just behind her. Your heart leaped.

And when that woman moved you saw broad shoulders filling out a crisp black tailored suit jacket. You saw the outline of his strong back. The instantly recognizable shape of his hips filling the same black slacks you’d seen him zipping up a little over an hour earlier. 

He turned his head to the right and when you caught a glimpse of his beautiful profile the impact of it was significant — pink lips, pointed chin and all; he was smiling wide; breathtakingly brilliant. His straight white teeth, his beautiful neck— Baekhyun was talking to someone, and she was leaning in, laughing easily at his jokes and her fingertips reached for him, intending to lightly brush over the smooth crisp fabric of the suit, right over his firm chest.

The instant she reached you saw him move, his balance shifted and he leaned away. Her touch had just missed him. It was such a subtle gesture that it looked entirely coincidental. Had it not been for the smallest shift in his feet, one might have thought their timing was just a little off. That this man hadn’t intentionally avoided the touch. But you knew him very well and he was always incredibly insightful even down to his body language. 

The eye contact that she attempted was frantic. You could see it in the way her gaze reached for his eyes. Desperate for any little bit of a connection she could get. 

But Baekhyun was looking down at his watch and when she gave up and turned to find someone else to flirt with, his eyes left hers and lingered above her head, floating past the many faces of the people around, he seemed to be searching the room for something...for you.

Looking and looking...

Your heart rate increased and you gripped the stem of your champagne glass tightly as you downed half of the drink. His search would come to fruition now. He would reach you soon.

You could practically count it down with each deep breath of oxygen you pulled into your lungs.

On the third exhale his eyes found yours and the search was over. 

He had found you.

Baekhyun’s face held steady for exactly two seconds before you saw the swift rise of his chest and parting of his lips as they hung open in surprise. 

He took his time with it. 

Perhaps it only felt longer to you. 

From your view of him, only a few feet away, you watched the tick of his irises as his eyes traveled from your face, down, with a pause at your neck, another at your chest, then much too slowly down to the floor and then he screwed his eyes shut tightly; overcome for just a moment. 

His hand reached for the tray that passed by and grabbed a glass of champagne. He held it up, opened his mouth, and tossed the golden liquid back with enough quickness to be able to place the empty glass back on the very same tray before the serving staff moved on. 

Oh, this wouldn’t work. It had been too long since you’d seen him in person. His skin was clear and lovely. The volume of his cheeks was softer; his cheekbones less angular. Angelic even. His hair had grown some. You’d always been weak to pink. He was looking at you with a building intensity in his eyes and it was smoldering. 

How would you manage this? 

He was so beautiful. You found the simplest of things difficult. Breathing in particular — he looked like a fucking prince. How could you get your lungs to work when he was easily the most beautiful man you had ever seen? 

Like the swing of the compass needle, your entire body was drawn to his magnetic pole and you gave in so easily. 

You wanted to run. You wanted to throw yourself into his open arms and taste the rough collision of his skin on yours. His muscles and his bones would smash against yours. 

Instead, you pushed it down. You shoved down hard with every bit of your fortitude and when you found yourself within whispering distance of him you watched the view of his incoming lips until they blurred and vanished and you felt the light brush of those soft lips as he lightly kissed your cheek. 

It was the same sort of friendly greeting as Sehun had given you mere moments earlier but Baekhyun’s hand lightly trailed along your waist, finding the place where the back of your dress dipped down low and exposed the small of your back. 

His fingertips lingered there and his touch might as well have been an electric shock. 

He pulled back but the fire inside his eyes did not lessen. 

“I thought I was ready,” he said under his breath and he inhaled a deep breath which he exhaled through parted lips. You could smell the sweetness of the champagne on his exhale. 

“But, what the hell? How can you be this pretty? I need to sit down.” 

You’d underestimated how badly you would want to touch him. You longed to reach for his hand, slip an arm around his waist. Slide your hand into his suit jacket and slip your fingertips into the waistband of his pants. Tiny things you’d always done very comfortably like a palm on his face, a kiss on his lips, your fingernails raked over the scalp at the back of his head; suddenly completely off-limits to you and you held on to the props that filled your hands for dear life. 

He had moved to a table and pulled out a chair. He sat down roughly with a groan and his entire body moved with agitation. 

“Can I sit with you?” You felt so on guard with your actions that you began to second guess every one of your moves before you did it and he was leaning on his elbows with his hands fisted together right in front of his face. 

“Yeah.” His answer was short and well controlled. His legs were shaking under the table. 

His eyes found their way to you and followed as you pulled out the chair beside him. You sat down, finally having somewhere to place the drink and bag you’d clung so tightly to since arriving. 

“What’s that?” 

He’d noticed the white business card that sat under your bag and he reached for it with his fingertips. 

Baekhyun held it up to his face and his eyes were moving over it, eyebrows instantly furrowing together. 

“Some old man gave me his card when I arrived.” 

Baekhyun lifted brown eyes up roughly and his lips pulled into a hard line. 

“Who?” 

You lifted a single eyebrow and kept the smile free from your lips. 

Good ol’ Baekhyun. At least he was reliable. 

“Some eccentric millionaire who wants to be my new sugar daddy.” 

As soon as you were through the sentence Baekhyun had leaned forward with the card held out between his index and middle finger and he pushed the card through the opening of your champagne glass, fully submerging the paper within the wetness of the alcohol. He left the card there and rose to his feet. 

“Hey!” You put your best into it; fake-protesting the destruction of such a valuable business card. “But, he said he would spoil me rotten, Baek.”

He reached down for your hand, gripped tightly around your wrist and pulled you up behind him. 

“Tell me you want to be spoiled rotten. I dare you to say it.” 

He had turned to speak to you in a low growl as you followed behind, your arm still held within the grip of his hand and the sensation of this one hand on you was exhilarating. You’d grown so desperate for him to touch you for so long that even this had sent the butterflies in your stomach flying again. 

He dropped your hand and you looked around to see unfamiliar faces laughing and talking amongst themselves. 

“Friends, okay? We are just friends to these people. Come. I have to mingle and try to act normal.” 

For the first hour or so, you felt a bit like a puppy following its master. You didn’t exactly know many people here, apart from EXO members, of which there were several who had greeted you cheerfully. 

With the new faces, you performed well enough. Smiling and introducing yourself comfortably. You found that most of his friends and acquaintances didn’t question the friendship beyond the initial explanation. By this far into the evening, many of them had already been drinking. What you did notice, was the lingering looks you received from a good number of the men, and at least two eye rolls from some catty women who seemed to take exception with you for existing within their eyesight. 

It wasn't something you could control, and you didn’t care as much as you thought you might for the scorning looks. Envy was a bitch, but your champagne was tasty, at least. 

Alcohol was one thing, but your stomach was beginning to crave something else when party guests began to make their way back to their tables for the dinner to begin. 

There would be speeches and an award presentation for the company during the meal. 

The food was delicious, albeit a little hard to focus on with Baekhyun sitting beside you, tapping his knee against your knee below the table. 

When the lights dimmed for a musical presentation you missed the meaning of romantic ballad being belted out because Baekhyun’s hand had reached for yours below the table and he was running slow and deliberate circles into the palm of your hand with a pointed index finger. He used just enough pressure for it not to tickle and when you focused on the shape he was drawing you realized there was a point at the bottom and a dip at the top. A heart. Again and again, a pretty secret etched into your skin with a wandering hand. 

What you wouldn’t give for just one hour alone with him. 

The lights remained dim after the performance, and Baekhyun quietly excused himself for the bathroom, leaving you at the table with a fresh glass of cola with a splash of whiskey. 

A DJ on the stage filled the silence after the applause with high volume, high energy music that blasted through the sound system around the ballroom. 

People were drinking. The music was too loud for casual conversation, but a lean in, a hand on a shoulder and a few giggles and nods was all it took for people to rise from their seats, finish off the last of whatever drink they had been nursing, and take to the dance floor. 

The joyous mood was infectious; you loved this song. Your body moved on its own; bobbing your head and drumming your fingers to the beat on the table surface. 

“You look like you need to be out there dancing with somebody.” 

The voice came from right behind you and you turned to find the source.

You’d yet to have an introduction with him and you felt rather starstruck looking at him up close; finding Johnny standing there with a small smile on his face speaking to you about things like dancing and your apparent need for it, stopped your head bobbing and finger tapping and made your jaw drop; the alcohol buzzing inside of you kept you loose enough to keep from jumping up and down and asking for an autograph.

He was tall. You pushed up from the chair you had been occupying and stumbled just a little to put a bit of space between you both so you could look up at him.

“Oh, no. I’m very happy with watching.” 

This evening didn’t need to get any more surreal than it already was. 

“So are you, umm, I noticed you are sitting with Baekhyun—” 

What exactly was happening right now? It must have been the champagne that made his cheeks look a little flushed and made his voice unsteady. 

“What about me?” 

Baekhyun was back. He did say he would only be gone for a moment. 

“Ahh...Baekhyun,” Johnny spun when you did and the three of you stood like points on a triangle facing each other. “So are you going to introduce me to your girlfriend?”

Baekhyun’s eyes flashed to you and you looked at him with for guidance here. It felt like a standoff. After all, this was his world and outside of his ridiculous good looks, impressive height, amazing dancing, and smooth rapping in one of your (secretly) favorite K-pop groups ever (a fact you would deny until death), you really didn’t know much else about Johnny. 

“Actually,” Baekhyun was still looking at you as he spoke and you could hear the clench of his jaw as the words pushed out slowly, no doubt grabbing to hold on to his teeth and the sides of his lips as he forced them out, “we’re _just_ _friends_.” 

He reacted strongly the _f word_. As if he’d just straight up cussed in front of his grandmother. 

Johnny looked from Baekhyun to you and back again at Baekhyun who actually followed wherever Johnny looked like he was watching a sports match. 

“Oh,” Johnny said in a bright and chipper tone. 

“In that case, would you like to dance with me?” 

He was speaking to you. You had a wide smile on your face. And it was genuine. You couldn’t help it. You had a little shuffle in your shoulders already from the music that played overhead and you looked toward your husband who was looking down at his foot and kicking at the carpet with as subtle of a pout as you had ever seen on him. He looked up into your bright smiling face, not matching your enthusiasm one bit.

“Do I?” You whispered excitedly and covered a little laugh that escaped. 

He looked into your excited face and exhaled into an eye roll. 

“Baekhyun, _Oppa_!” A high pitched shrill voice pierced your eardrums and popped your happy little bubble with her bouncing up and down inside your line of sight. She was inside of the triangle, uninvited.

She was like a chihuahua and she obviously believed she was on _‘Oppa’_ terms with your dear husband. 

“Baekhyun, dance with me,” she was whining and pleading and his arm was already being pulled and bounced all over. 

_She_ , as Baekhyun quickly introduced to you, was Sana and _she_ was a junior at his company who he had been _so helpful_ toward when she was new and still unsure of the ropes. 

What was immediately evident was that this little girl had a silly little crush and she would have declared her immense gratitude to the man for telling her the time lunch was served or informing her where the bathroom was. It didn’t take much to impress her when Baekhyun was involved. 

“I guess we’re dancing then,” Baekhyun gave in and Sana squealed not unlike a happy little piglet with a fresh pile of slop. 

The excitement you felt about getting to dance with one of your favorite idols was just a little bit dimmer as you watched the pair of them hop off to join the crowds on the dance floor and while your expensive heels gave you some height to work with, Johnny was much taller than Baekhyun was and it took you almost the entire first half of the song to find a comfortable rhythm with him. 

Although with Baekhyun it was never in public, when he pulled you up with both hands from the sofa and made you yelp in surprise laughter with the twirls to the beat of some ridiculous song that caught his ear on the radio, or when the song shifted and his arms wound tighter around your waist and his steps slowed to the romantic ballad that he sang along to in your ear, you never experienced an off step. Not with him. 

Not like the awkward steps you tried to discreetly correct with Johnny. From where you were on the dance floor, you could see the expert ease with which Baekhyun and Sana danced. They kept a decent distance from each other, and of course, she was smiling and laughing like a maniac. 

Baekhyun’s focus was light and loose on her. His dancing was effortless and still looked professional. Of course, he was a professional, but they didn’t have to look so damn good together. She was small and pretty, of course. Positively ripe and begging to be tasted. But Baekhyun, no, his focus drifted over to you while he danced. Looking absolutely beautiful and perfect as he moved his body. 

You, on the other hand, you imagined to the outside observer, might look like one of those inflatable signs they set up outside of businesses. The ones designed to attract attention for being ridiculous with its flailing arms and offbeat torso movements. A calamity in a pretty dress and heels. 

It definitely wasn’t Johnny’s fault. He was doing great. He was working with what you gave him in downright adorable ways and soon, your missteps turned into smiling and when Johnny let out the first loud laugh after you had stepped on his foot for the third time, you found it difficult to keep up the fragile composure you’d been desperately holding on to. 

“I’m sorry, I think I might be a very bad dancer,” you laughed and he laughed harder, reaching out to try and connect with you in some other way, with a hand along your waist. You felt the warmth of his fingers along the skin of your lower back and when you actually relaxed and paid closer attention to his touch, you found that if you just let your body listen to what he was telling you with his movements, that it wasn’t so hard to follow him along. You just had to give in to him. 

“There you go!” He cheered when you’d done something he was pleased with and you held on to his arm and his waist a little bit tighter when he spun you in a dizzying circle, laughing all the while.

By the end of the song, his warmth was all around you. Never in your wildest fantasies did you imagine that you would have this sort of intimate familiarity with the way Johnny Seo of supergroup NCT smelled after a vigorous round of dancing; with just a light sheen of sweat actually visible on the surface of his skin. 

Still, the song had finished and you stood completely still, the spell of his arms still around you despite the opening rhythm of the next song beginning to play overhead. 

Johnny was looking at your face with an unwarranted and serious expression in his eyes with no traces of the lighthearted laughter from before. You were the one to take the first step back from him, breaking the trance he had been under. He let you go, but his hands remained in an embraced position for a good second or two after you were out of them. 

You straightened your dress some, noticing how the deep plunge of your neckline had slipped and made a bit more of your skin visible, particularly between your breasts. You should have used the double sided tape. At least you had avoided a full flash, but damn this sexy dress didn’t mix very well with dancing. When you pulled your eyes up to the spot where Baekhyun and Sana had been you expected to see them both pulling away from the dance floor and heading toward the tables. 

What you saw was a single pair of achingly familiar black eyes set on you. 

He was watching you. Even in the dim lighting, you could see the spot Baekhyun occupied was at least three shades darker than the rest of the room; from the completely obvious storm cloud that sat over his head. 

How long had he been watching? 

Had he ended his dance with Sana early just so he could stand there and burn in flames as another man danced with you like that? 

Did he see the laughing and the touching too? 

Would he be consumed by it now? 

You had to look away. Your skin was buzzing with an electric feeling. You could hardly stand it.

You quietly thanked Johnny for the dance and excused yourself for the bathrooms and made your way away from the bustle for a moment of peace. 

A moment of quiet, where those dark eyes could not set you on fire.

Your respite was short. You returned to the party but lingered on the outskirts. 

Would Baekhyun be dancing with Sana again? Or someone other pretty young thing? 

You scanned the crowds, searching for the familiar light cotton candy pink of the top of his head. 

It was darker in here than it had been when you’d first found him and all of your casual searching came up empty. 

Until a light touch on the back of your elbow pulled your attention just behind you. 

“Here you are,” Baekhyun whispered and the sight of his face was instant relief. How did he do that? Just seeing his face in person calmed your soul. Quenched the needs you didn’t even know you were longing for. 

“Dance with me,” he said. His hand was up, waiting for yours and you gave it. 

“Will it be okay?” 

“No,” he mirrored your unease what a confession of his own, “this is definitely going to kill me.”

At least the song was upbeat. At least the dancing was fast and fun and involved laughter and spinning and cute noises he made with his mouth into your ear as he warned you about the next move. A spin, a dip, and _’one two one one, one two one one, I said one TWO one one, that was my foot, darling,’_ At least it was fun enough to distract you from the warmth of his hands as they held onto you. At least the quick movement of your feet kept you from standing too still inside his embrace; from feeling it too much. You had little time to get used to the overwhelmingly wonderful smell of him within his suit jacket if you only got quick short bursts of it.

And when the song ended and another began he was pulling you again, asking for another dance. Just one more. You could have another dance with this man without it being too dangerous, right? The lights were dim enough, and guests were occupied with their own dance partners. Plus with how much they had all been drinking, surely another dance would raise no alarms. 

Of course, you gave in. There was no harm in this. When would you ever get another chance? 

The second song ended too quickly. Upbeat danceable pop songs these days were infuriatingly short in length. They should all be at least a minute longer. At minimum. You released his hands and felt the cool air of the room replace his body heat and you took a step back from him when the next song began. 

It was a ballad; a slow romantic love song. 

The opening piano chords played overhead. A glance around you showed couples responding to the song. Some left, some stayed. You were thankful for the darkness around you that obscured their faces well enough to give the scene just a little bit of privacy. 

You’d been prepared to leave. You’d even pivoted on your heels and began to walk back, back to your table, back to a fresh drink of something cold to battle the heat, back to a reality that did not allow for this sort of grand romantic moment with the man you loved more than anyone else in existence. What you hadn’t let yourself hope for was the way he reached for you with a low hand, and pulled you hard; pulled you back into his arms.

The force of the way he pulled made you spin in a little teetering circle and you collided with all of the warmth and firmness of his chest. Baekhyun’s arms encircled you, moving down to your waist and the darkness of the dance floor gave you just enough of a cover to hide the intense flush you felt flooding your cheeks. 

“Baek—” your voice came out in a single whispered breath pushed straight from your lungs. 

“I need this,” he said through gritted teeth.

“But, what if...someone—”

“Fuck them. I need this, right now.” His voice was a low and dangerous whisper against your ear and the music drifted all around, matching the beat he swayed with. 

He was leading you and you melted into the smell of him, laying your forehead against his shoulder and allowing your air to come from the crook of his neck. 

And you danced with him. 

Just as you often daydreamed you might have slow danced with him on your wedding day. Had that day gone differently. 

As the song played on, you could feel the change in him. The spell was working its magic on the both of you and you gave in to the embrace with a hand slipped inside of his parted jacket. Just to feel his warmth and life easier. You were greedy for him. 

You wanted to forget who he was and where you were. The softness of his fingers as they ran along the small of your back didn’t help. You were intoxicated by his touch. Was he singing along now? That sweet lullaby in his perfect voice tickled along your eardrums as the darkness around you both enveloped and teased. 

You had drifted. Quite literally with the dance when you finally pulled your eyelids open you had found that he’d led you toward a quiet corner off the side of the dance floor. Far away from the groups of people that danced, it was much darker here along the wall where the thick golden colored drapery covered whatever color paint the walls might have been before. 

The netted twinkle lighting that covered the ceiling had no effect here in your dark corner where his arms held you tight and you stood completely still quite deafened by the pounding of your heart inside of your ears. 

When Baekhyun took another step back you could see that he was about to hit the thick curtains. He would run out of places to retreat. There was only so far into the darkness that he could go before he simply ran out of pathway to travel. 

The surprise came when he took yet another step and pulled the curtain away from the wall where it hung heavy. He stepped behind it, into the complete and utter blackness behind there and the momentum with which he pulled made you surge forward, toward him, with the quick movement. 

And every bit of light was gone. The dark was absolute.

There hadn’t been much light to work with before this, but inside this dark space with one side of you, a wall, the other side the heavy fabric of a curtain and in between you both stood in the space, only enough room to stand and nothing except for the closeness and low and heavy breathing from his lungs you heard and felt along your cheek. 

“Baekhyun, what are you doing? I can’t see anything” 

“But you can hear me,” he said against the side of your face. The sound of his voice was incredibly clear in here. The heavy drapes were muting the sounds from the other side. 

You felt the warmth of his fingertips along your face, running slowly from your jaw line up to your ear and behind. 

Your breathing felt too fast. You couldn’t see anything, but his warmth was too much.

“And you can feel me.”

Without your eyes to tell you he was coming, you had to rely entirely on touch. The sensation of his warm exhale along your jawline where his fingers had been. His hand had moved to behind your neck and you felt the plush softness of his lips traveling lightly along your face. 

He let out the smallest moan a second before his lips reached yours and his mouth opened over yours, claiming you. He was demanding. The desperation you knew he had felt all night, the same desperation you had felt all night, boiling over now with this single needy and unrelenting kiss. 

When he pulled away from the kiss it was for a gasp of air and you felt yourself too affected for this to be just one kiss. 

You reached for him again, a hand wrapping around the back of his neck to pull him down you connected your lips to his once more, reveling in the way he gave in to your kiss so readily. 

But he pulled away once more; clearly something on his mind to pull his lips away from yours. 

You wished for some light so you could look into his eyes just once. 

Why would he steal you away in this secret and dark space only to keep you at this weird arm's length? 

“Did you have fun?” His question was a dull whisper into the space directly in front of your face. 

Did he mean the party? 

“It’s been nice,” you said in a whisper that matched his in volume but not in the strange intensity.

“Dancing with him?” He breathed out the second half of his question that you had interrupted with your misunderstanding. 

“I think— I think I must be the more loyal one, between the two of us. I didn’t even touch her once, and yet… he wants to fuck you, you know.” 

“Baekhyun.” You said in a much more controlled voice. 

You could hear his rough exhales now. He was losing control of himself. But part of you knew. You’d seen it too; that flash of desire inside of Johnny’s eyes. 

“He’s not going to get to fuck me. You know that.” 

You reached for him. Your hands landing somewhere along his stomach and he did not retreat. 

“You’re his fan.” 

This wasn’t a question. You heard no traces of doubt in his voice and you were thankful for the darkness now. You had no response. You felt caught off guard by it. 

“Why so quiet, love. You look at him with the same expression of pure fucking delight that you have when you watch that baking show you love so much. Did you think I wouldn’t notice? Did you honestly believe that it was something you could keep from me?”

You were stuck; your hands were still touching him, gripping with your fingertips around his shirt. Then he moved and you felt his hand slip over the back of your right hand. He gripped hard and pulled your hand off of him until you released his shirt and relaxed your grip within his hold. 

“I know you, baby. Did you forget how well I know you? I know you...inside and out.” 

He rotated your hand, moving it down lower so that your open palm was laid directly over his dick. He was very hard below the slacks. Your mind was swimming and you moved your hand over the bulge that you felt there. The overwhelming effect you had on him. The way he wanted you, just as badly as you wanted him. 

“I don’t blame him. Or any of them. You—” his voice hitched once when you squeezed over him, slipping a hand up the length of his erection, not finding the end, as it disappeared somewhere behind the waistband of his pants. “—fuck, you…are, the most beautiful woman in this entire place.” 

“I don’t want any of them, Baek. There’s only one person I want.”

You reached for the button of his slacks and popped it open, struggling against the pressure from behind. The zipper caught halfway down and you didn’t get to feel the smooth skin of his dick before he was talking again. Before he was wrecking you with the filthy words he whispered into your ear.

“Did you enjoy wearing my gifts tonight, baby? Did you like being seen in them?”

You felt the tips of his fingers trailing over the diamond bracelet you wore around your wrist. His head dipped and you heard the sound of his mouth opening as he pulled one of your diamond earrings in between his lips and lightly sucked on it. Letting it go with a gentle pop which he followed with another kiss on your neck, just below your ear. He inhaled to speak again. 

“I have to confess, I loved seeing you in them. I loved the way they looked at you tonight and thought ‘Ahh...she’s somebody’s. Someone really loves her a lot.’ I want, so badly, for them to know whose wife they are fantasizing about when they think about fucking you.”

You could only focus on your own breathing. Part of your mind tried to remind yourself that while this darkened curtain gave the illusion of privacy, you should really keep your mind about you. You were in a very public place right now, playing this very dangerous game with this man who had lost every bit of his own self-control. 

“Because, my sweet, darling girl, that is what they are thinking. When they see you in this dress, that’s what _he_ was thinking. I bet he jerks off tonight dreaming about how good your pussy must feel. But I guarantee, his hand will never compare to you.”

He surged with motion and spun you by the shoulders and pressed you against the wall. He was at your back and one of his hands reached around, slipping inside of your dress and squeezing and kneading your breast.

“I know he wants to bend you over, lift up this pretty little skirt and slip his dick inside of you...like only I get to do.” 

You could not help the way your body responded to him. Your desperation reached new heights as you bent at the waist and pushed your ass toward him. You felt the grind of his dick when he gave you just a little of what you wanted. The words he whispered made you lose your sanity. You felt the fabric of your dress move. You felt the air up high on your thighs. Higher even, he pushed the dress up, baring your ass with his roaming hands. You knew he could only feel with his wandering hands, without any speck of light in here. 

“Do you want me to do that, baby? Do you want me to fill you up with my cum? Do you want to feel it dripping out of you as you dance with him?”

“Fu—Baek—” Words malfunctioned. He was too much. Eternally. Without exception. The man was too much. 

You had worn the lace panties. They helped with your wetness only just, but it was better than nothing. You felt his hands slipping between the lace, landing over your bare skin as he began to pull them down. 

You felt the slip of fabric and pushed your knees together to aid in their removal. He was low, crouching on his ankles to remove your panties from around the heels you wore and you wondered about the special attention he paid to them. 

Then the swish of fabric flowed slowly beside your face. Slow enough for the inhale of breath and the scent of your own arousal to tickle your nostrils. Immediately after the fabric left, you heard his deep inhale from behind you, followed by his low appreciative moan. He shifted and you assumed he pocketed them. 

“I’m keeping these,” he said, “I want you to drip.” 

There was more movement and you flinched and whimpered when you felt the lightest touch of his fingers between your bare thighs. You were so wet. You were so desperate. 

Only sounds followed. A zipper pulled and the sibilant sound of fabric, a rustle and then warmth. A hand on your hips, then moving below and your indelicate whimper and then the pressure came. 

You were so wet there was no resistance as he sunk into you and your lips parted with a hiss as he filled you entirely in one motion. You could not help the short high cry that betrayed you and his hand rose to plant a hot palm firmly over your open mouth. 

He held you there, thoroughly held in place with two hands, one pressing heavy over your mouth and the other gripping hard into your bare hip and he moved again; fast and rough and you shifted against the wall that had nowhere to hold on. 

You felt completely had; in that moment, as the small crawl space of darkness grew uncomfortably warm and what precious little fresh oxygen grew sticky and humid, you were consumed. Eaten up. Used by this man in the most satisfying of ways. The rough pounding slapped hard into you and the steady thumping of some dance song just outside of that curtain provided a perverse soundtrack of this forbidden sex. It was raw and it was exhilarating. If only you could get a little more air. Your mind grew dizzy and lightheadedness mingled with the rough pounding against your insides making you shake and tremble as your hands slipped and your legs gave way with the orgasm.

It swallowed you up so completely you only barely noticed the way he stiffened and trembled behind you. You felt the telltale signs of his climax with the tiny tremors that pulsed with each burst of heat inside of you and when he went still enough to loosen then cover over your mouth you gasped in for the precious air he had deprived you of so completely. 

You were gasping too hard. This dark damp space was too warm now and the comedown from the high was a slow one. 

Baekhyun was motionless as he struggled to catch his breath and after a moment you heard his low throaty voice again reach your ear. 

“This is what is going to happen—”

Your eyes were closed but you opened them to listen to his words, despite seeing absolutely nothing when you did. 

“I am going to pull my dick out, and there will be a mess. You see, I’ve been saving myself for you, my love. Nothing, and I do mean absolutely nothing compares to the feeling of filing you up with my cum.” 

You felt yourself squeeze around him as he spoke. It was involuntary. The effects of him. It was just his power. 

“Are you listening to me, baby? You feel a little distracted.” 

He’d felt you, of course. 

You nodded your head once and exhaled through your parted lips. 

“I’m listening,” you said. 

“Good. This is what will happen. I will leave first.” You nodded along as he spoke, trying not to be too distracted by the feeling of his size receding. 

“And I will go upstairs and book a suite for the night. Now just because I’m leaving early doesn’t mean you can’t have fun, My Baby. I want you to enjoy the rest of the party. I want you to dance some more. With whoever you want to dance with. And I want you to feel me all over your skin as you do that. Can you do that for me?” 

He’d done it. He’d pulled himself out and you felt the rush of liquid slipping out of your entrance and rushing between your legs, messing up the smooth clean skin of your thighs and lower. You felt a drip sliding down, a crawling sticky thick wet trail that was pulled by gravity. It reached the inside of your knees and when you squeezed them together in some attempt to contain it, the sticky wetness merely spread around. 

Surely you’d have a mess on the dress. Maybe even trailing down to ankle and dripping over the expensive shoes. 

He ran a hand then, slipping his long fingers between your thighs directly into the mess, he emerged with a wetness for which he had a purpose. 

Pinching wet fingers on your exposed nipple, he rubbed until the slick grew tacky. 

“You’ll join me in my room for the night after you dance. I’ll bring you a key. I might even come down again just to watch you enjoying yourself.” 

“I...didn’t bring anything else to wear, for tomorrow, Baek.” There was a slight whine to your voice. You heard it and he certainly heard it. 

Then you heard the smallest chuckle. A laugh from somewhere in the darkness and there were sounds of his zipper. 

“You are so cute. I’ll buy you something new. Something pretty.”

A flash of light from the curtain surprised you and you watched the small bit of light seem to swallow up his outline and he was gone.

You straightened the dress. You counted to 100. You then emerged from the darkness into the dimly lit empty space of this secret corner and you made your way quickly to the bathrooms. 

You gave yourself a once over in the mirror. Much as you had expected, you looked as if you had been thoroughly fucked in a hot dark hole in the wall and it took a bit of smoothing and straightening for to bring yourself back to a somewhat normal state. 

While you couldn’t do much about the bright red bruise you saw just behind your earlobe, you managed to at least get your appearance more toward _‘possibly just drunk’_ and away from _‘definitely just fucked.’_

You did not touch the mess between your legs. The arousal that still pulsed through your veins was fueled even further with each step you took. 

Out of the bathroom you walked with purpose. The music was pulsing and each heavy beat of the song was another step toward the dance floor and you made eye contact with an achingly familiar face. One that lit up with a bright smile to see you and of course he was so damn willing to dance with you. 

It was halfway through the dance when you saw a flash of color. A familiar head of cotton candy pink pushed between you and Johnny on the dance floor. 

His steps did not slow but you felt the hard plastic of something being shoved into the palm of your hand. You looked down instantly.

A hotel key card, marked with two words that made your lungs inflate and your heart surge inside of your chest. 

_Pent House_

You didn’t even try to contain the laughter that flew freely from your lips. 

Byun Baekhyun was, once again, without exception, entirely too much. 

  
  
  


THE END 

  
  



End file.
